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1
00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:05,967
[music playing]
2
00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:09,233
Tickets this way for
the Chatsworth Express.
3
00:00:09,333 --> 00:00:10,600
BOY: Oi!
4
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,133
FRANK: Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they
5
00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:15,767
were given by him upstairs.
6
00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:19,633
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
7
00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:21,100
- Wicked.
- Piss off.
8
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,667
What sounds on Earth could
ever replace kids needing
9
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:28,333
money or wives in your face?
10
00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:30,233
'Cause this, people reckon--
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00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:33,233
me included-- is
why pubs and drugs
12
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,833
were kindly invented
to calm us all down
13
00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,367
and stop us going mental.
14
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:43,200
These are Chatsworth
Estate's basic essentials.
15
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:49,167
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
16
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:52,933
You sit on our head,
but you pay the taxes.
17
00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,000
[chuckle]
18
00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:58,100
Imagine Britain without
Chatsworth buccaneers
19
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,633
who'd come on your face for
the price of a beer, eh?
20
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:01,567
[shout]
21
00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:04,567
Make poverty history.
22
00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,800
Cheaper drugs now.
23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,900
Make poverty history.
24
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,833
Cheaper drugs now.
25
00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:12,367
[laugh]
26
00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:14,767
Scatter!
27
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,700
Party!
28
00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:23,567
I've sounded out loads
of blokes on this.
29
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:28,033
99% of married men with
families have fantasized
30
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:32,233
about said wives and families
being killed, suddenly,
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00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:35,133
instantly leaving
formerly married man
32
00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:38,533
free, single, unencumbered.
33
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:40,533
Harmless dreaming.
34
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:43,467
A necessary outlet.
35
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:45,967
You've got to have
a fantasy life.
36
00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:48,533
If you didn't have an
alternative world where
37
00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,900
everything went your
way and Kate Moss
38
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,433
tickled your balls
with a feather,
39
00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:57,600
then you'd only have grim,
gray, turgid, hopeless pisspot
40
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,967
reality, and we'd
be throwing ourself
41
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,100
of bridges like lemmings.
42
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,800
Well, I would.
43
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,133
Mandy, can I take
Katie to the park?
44
00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:07,667
Third time this week?
45
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,500
Yeah, we have a laugh.
46
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,733
Isn't that right, Katie?
47
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:13,767
Be brill, going on
swings and shit.
48
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:14,667
Watch her.
49
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,333
Park's a canine sewer.
50
00:02:17,433 --> 00:02:18,900
(QUIETLY) Go down.
That's it.
51
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:19,867
All the way.
52
00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:21,167
Go down.
53
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:22,800
So why are you really
taking her to the park?
54
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,467
Me and Katie are bezzies.
55
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:26,900
What color's her hair?
56
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,067
CARL: Get off, you dick.
57
00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,400
- No, you don't even know.
- Blonde.
58
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:30,533
Blonde.
59
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,167
Bab is a giant.
60
00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,467
They've got to induce.
61
00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:35,733
You can only gobble
so much madras.
62
00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:36,767
Give 'em a bell.
63
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,067
MONICA: Can you do it?
64
00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:39,533
Sounds better
coming from a bloke.
65
00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:41,700
They pay more attention.
66
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,867
(STAMMERS) It's phones.
67
00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:46,667
It's not-- it's not me, babe.
68
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:47,833
[groan]
69
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,967
Oh, don't give me
the bug-eyed look.
70
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,900
I'm coming to the
fucking bullfight.
71
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,100
What more do you want?
72
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,033
Don't piss her about.
73
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,000
You know you'll go missing.
74
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,900
[rumbling]
75
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:58,867
Earthquake.
76
00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,933
MONICA: Third one this week.
77
00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:02,900
Rubbish-point-crap
on the Richter scale.
78
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,833
The world stops
on its axis at Dad
79
00:03:04,933 --> 00:03:06,600
claiming he'll keep his word.
80
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,367
You self-righteous
little smart-ass.
81
00:03:08,467 --> 00:03:10,167
You're not too old to
have your bollocks kicked
82
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:12,633
around your head, you know.
- Think you'll find I am.
83
00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:14,200
[frank exclaims]
84
00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:19,233
It's cold.
85
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,933
I didn't know that.
86
00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,233
Sissy boy.
87
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:27,500
Can't even permanently
fucking disfigure me.
88
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,400
Yeah?
89
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,933
Never call me Dad again.
90
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,033
You're the spawn of the devil.
91
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,400
Why do you always
bring that up?
92
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,667
'Cause every day I'm
reminded of it by looking
93
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:42,000
at your ugly fucking gob.
94
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,733
Hey, if that's a lad,
we'd call it Ian.
95
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,733
Always thought that was a
good name for one of mine.
96
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:50,333
You're a fucking waste.
97
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,867
Cheers for putting
a word in, Mum.
98
00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:58,133
Can call you that, can't I?
99
00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:03,200
[music playing]
100
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,000
YVONNE: Nearly there.
101
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,367
Come on, boy.
102
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:09,600
20 more pence, you can do it.
103
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,600
Mm, lovely fags.
104
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:12,533
There you go, Frank.
105
00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:13,833
52p for your coat.
106
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:14,767
Bargain.
107
00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:16,233
Most jocular.
108
00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:18,867
Shouldn't you be out working
towards a safer community?
109
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,100
Day off.
110
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,067
I keep this on to
scare the shoplifters.
111
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:24,067
[rumbling]
112
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,133
Another one.
113
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,667
[music playing]
114
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,267
[car alarms blaring]
115
00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:32,000
WOMAN: Fucking hell.
116
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,167
How many more?
117
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,367
And they were all like,
"Oh, what was that?"
118
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:41,433
FRANK: Oh, yeah.
119
00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:42,533
Blitz spirit.
120
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:44,500
People all together
as one as the Earth
121
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,600
conspires against us by
going on short spin cycle.
122
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,500
Tsunami from that wouldn't
knock a digestive crumb
123
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:51,467
off a cup of tea.
124
00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:54,033
Where is the
almighty hand of God?
125
00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:57,533
Pointing at you,
shouting thief.
126
00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:58,433
What?
127
00:04:58,533 --> 00:04:59,567
How do you know?
128
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,800
He's been left on his
own for five seconds.
129
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,467
What else would he fucking do?
130
00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:06,133
Waste.
131
00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:09,033
Well, that would appear
to be the received opinion.
132
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:10,800
It is our duty to oppose it.
133
00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,767
I paid for them.
134
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:20,767
[music playing]
135
00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,300
[katie gurgles]
136
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,500
Yeah, it's great, that, Katie.
137
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,000
Is there anything I can do?
138
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,700
Could you give
us a foot massage?
139
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,600
I meant a cup of
tea or whatever.
140
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,067
Christ sake, not for long.
141
00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:55,400
You've had all of us, you're
going to have another,
142
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,700
and I feel like
the fucking parent.
143
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,167
How is that?
144
00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:02,100
It's gonna be me that makes
it up with Dad, if we do.
145
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,800
Who looks after me?
146
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,633
Shouldn't it be you?
147
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:10,100
We all make mistakes.
148
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,033
I've done me best.
149
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,633
Your best is shit.
150
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,567
Get off.
151
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,700
[music playing]
152
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,633
Sorry, Frank.
153
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:27,767
You have to go outside.
154
00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,367
Smoking ban.
155
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:32,667
We lasted as long as we could,
but the twats are on to us.
156
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,933
The pub's been burnt down.
157
00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:35,233
What harm can I do?
158
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,667
Get us a big fine.
159
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,500
Put us out of business.
160
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,633
We've been shot.
161
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,467
You sell fucking Es.
162
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,833
Nobody ever dies of
secondary tripping.
163
00:06:44,933 --> 00:06:47,833
I'm the only tosser here.
164
00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:49,467
Aw-- no.
165
00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:50,400
I say no.
166
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,833
Someone's gotta make a stand.
167
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:55,367
Custer, Davy Crockett, kid
with his dick in the dyke.
168
00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:58,200
Add Frank Gallagher
to that list.
169
00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:01,500
I will not be cowed.
170
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,900
Moo.
171
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,400
[rumbling]
172
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,800
JAMIE: Oh!
173
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,700
Oh.
174
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:12,267
Oh my god, you burst.
175
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:19,833
Shit.
176
00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,100
The bastard will
sue our tits off.
177
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,067
IAN: Is it on its way?
178
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:28,200
Well, a gallon of water
breaking out the fanny
179
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,200
is a definite sign.
180
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,600
Don't say fanny.
181
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,967
Debbie, forget the drill.
182
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,667
Go and grab your dad and
tell him bab is imminent.
183
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:34,633
I'll go.
184
00:07:34,733 --> 00:07:36,133
It's better if Debbie stays.
185
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:37,467
No, Debbie go.
186
00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:38,200
But--
187
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,900
She's too young.
188
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,467
That is my decision as a parent.
See?
189
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:46,467
I do make 'em.
190
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,833
EMT: That's it, great.
191
00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,233
Fuck.
192
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:51,533
We were gonna call.
193
00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:53,633
Your dad's had a fall,
just a bit of a bump.
194
00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,133
How?
195
00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:56,900
Happened out here.
196
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,800
Dad?
197
00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,067
Is he gonna be all right?
198
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,967
EMT: Let's just get
him to hospital first.
199
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:05,033
[music playing]
200
00:08:10,667 --> 00:08:11,600
Keep hold, Katie.
201
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,600
Katie, keep hold.
202
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:14,600
All right, Carl?
203
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,833
Hello, Katie.
204
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,367
Chicken.
205
00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:21,733
[rumbling]
206
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:25,000
Fucking hell.
207
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,067
Bindy.
208
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:28,033
I was hoping you'd be here.
209
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,467
How's our pretty girl?
210
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:30,733
Eh?
211
00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:33,000
Oh, you're well good bringing
her here all the time.
212
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,067
Any news on her mum?
213
00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:39,333
Nah, she's still missing.
214
00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,700
Hello, darling.
215
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:45,667
[groan]
216
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,267
[music playing]
217
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:50,800
Oi, I'm trying watch this.
218
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,767
I want to talk.
219
00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:53,667
Here we go.
220
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,733
You're gonna dump us.
221
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:56,633
No, I'm not.
222
00:08:56,733 --> 00:08:59,133
Well, why'd you say that?
223
00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:00,633
Do you not think
we're solid then?
224
00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:03,200
Yeah, of course I do.
I-- I--
225
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:07,000
I just think that you're
gonna dump us sometimes.
226
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,800
What do you want to talk about?
227
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,733
- Doesn't matter.
- Oh.
228
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:12,633
Another brew.
229
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,833
I know what you've done for
our Shane, and I'm grateful.
230
00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:22,767
He's a different boy.
231
00:09:22,867 --> 00:09:24,300
He needed to grow up.
232
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,533
But when you do move on,
don't just disappear.
233
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,000
Speak to him first.
234
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,267
What?
235
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:32,500
Why am I about to flit?
236
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,133
Because we know you
better than you do.
237
00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:41,800
All right, in a bit.
238
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:42,700
You all right?
239
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:43,733
I've gotta go.
240
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,733
It's my dad.
241
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:45,933
He's on the way to hospital.
242
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:47,900
Shit, Katie.
243
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,533
I'll look after her.
244
00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:50,267
If you want.
245
00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:51,367
I'll give you me address.
246
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:56,800
Yeah.
247
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,700
OK.
248
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:03,733
Here you go.
249
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,100
Cheers, Bindy.
250
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,200
You saved my life.
251
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:10,633
BINDY: Come on, Katie.
252
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,167
30 minutes from
entry desk to bed.
253
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:18,900
Only beaten our own record.
254
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,967
- What's wrong with him?
- He's in a coma.
255
00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,800
How long for?
256
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,467
Coma is as coma does.
257
00:10:25,567 --> 00:10:26,400
An hour.
258
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,733
Years.
259
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,100
Probably not years.
260
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,067
Give him a few hours.
261
00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:32,500
We'll dob him through X-ray.
262
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,967
- Are you really a doctor?
- 'Course.
263
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,133
Why?
264
00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:36,333
Well, they're either
foreign or posh.
265
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,333
I am posh.
266
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:40,700
Awesome.
267
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,700
My mum's gone into labor.
268
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,167
Shall we tell her about him?
269
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,133
DOCTOR: Never give bad news
to a woman in the throes.
270
00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:46,667
I learned that from my ex.
271
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,900
Eh?
272
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,300
Suit yourself.
273
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,067
How is he?
274
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,033
Still unconscious.
275
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,900
There must be stuff we can do.
276
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:54,833
Coma crap.
277
00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,467
Talk to him.
278
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,933
Surround him with
objects that he likes.
279
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,600
You never know-know till
you give it a go-go.
280
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,600
Dr. Dickhead.
281
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,533
Do you need me here?
282
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:06,567
Why?
I panicked.
283
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:07,867
I left Katie in the
park with a girl.
284
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,433
What?
Who?
285
00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:10,167
Bindy.
286
00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:11,433
You stupid cock.
287
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:12,400
Go and get her.
288
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,733
[music playing]
289
00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:22,167
[phone ringing]
290
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,367
Oh?
291
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,200
Hiya.
292
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,633
Doctor says not to tell Mum.
293
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:26,533
Why not?
294
00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:27,833
'Cause she'll go mental.
295
00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:29,067
Are you coming?
- I can't.
296
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,300
She's gonna drop.
297
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,300
Well, I'm staying
here till he wakes up.
298
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,000
Put the phone
to his ear, close.
299
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,600
Hi, Dad-- I mean, Frank.
300
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,967
What do I say, wake up?
301
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,133
Could say that any
day of the week,
302
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,833
won't make no
difference then either.
303
00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:48,200
We don't get on.
304
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,000
I'm not what you want in a son.
305
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,500
I'm not your son.
306
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,000
And you're not my dad.
307
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,667
Oh, Mum's in labor.
308
00:11:57,767 --> 00:11:59,533
If it's yours.
309
00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:01,633
Have they found him yet?
310
00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:02,567
No.
311
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,500
Shit.
312
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,467
Nurse!
313
00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:14,433
[music playing]
314
00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:18,000
[siren blares]
315
00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,600
Look, see there?
316
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:26,967
That's nothing, my dear.
317
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:30,733
He'll be back with us
before you know it.
318
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:31,667
Bindy.
319
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,200
About so high.
320
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,567
She's quite fit,
about medium to large.
321
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,200
Proper round tits with
just a hint of nip.
322
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,567
What does her face look like?
323
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,933
She's--
324
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:44,067
[inaudible]
325
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,000
Sort of average looking.
326
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,533
Uh, sorry, mate.
327
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,367
Ain't got a clue.
328
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,900
Her tits are
fucking fantastic.
329
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,300
Someone's gotta remember them.
Come on, lads.
330
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,233
What are they?
331
00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,400
They said try him
with stuff he likes.
332
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,600
Can't think of anything else.
333
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,533
Where'd you get 'em?
334
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:04,467
Gabby on reception.
335
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,200
What do we do?
336
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,667
Wait.
337
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,000
MONICA: Harder.
338
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,567
My thumbs are murder.
339
00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:17,733
Well, there'll be
murder if you stop.
340
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,100
Can you ring Debbie again?
341
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,033
What's the point?
342
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,533
He's not gonna come.
343
00:13:21,633 --> 00:13:22,533
He lets everyone down.
344
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:23,800
Accept that.
345
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,133
Give birth.
346
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:28,333
No, he said he'd be
here, and he will be here.
347
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,667
[monica groans]
348
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:34,833
Do you think I'm
still the youngest?
349
00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:36,133
Mum's had loads of kids.
350
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,733
She could probably drop
another in her sleep.
351
00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:41,633
He needs us here.
352
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:42,667
I'm staying.
353
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,400
LIAM: So am I then.
354
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,533
Why do girls wear
make up and perfume?
355
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:51,667
'Cause they're Ugly
and they smell.
356
00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:52,633
Do you want some?
357
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:54,767
Um.
358
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,333
He's bleeding again.
359
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,633
He's gonna have all sorts of
involuntary actions, you know,
360
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,133
smiling and that.
361
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:02,600
We're just to ignore him
unless his eyes open.
362
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,033
What do we talk to him about?
363
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,800
Tell him stuff
about the family.
364
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,033
What you talk about normally.
365
00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:10,633
I never talk to him normally.
366
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:11,567
All right.
367
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,233
Here's your chance.
368
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:16,733
Dad, every night when
he thinks I'm sleeping,
369
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,667
Carl has a wank.
370
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:19,700
Is that normal?
371
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:20,800
Oh, he's going to wake up now.
372
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,033
[moan]
373
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,467
Midwife should be here by now.
374
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,567
Maybe she got held
up or something.
375
00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:32,433
[screaming]
376
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:35,767
How long will it be?
377
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,067
MONICA: Well, how should I know?
378
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,567
Don't we time
the contractions?
379
00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:42,333
If you know so much about
it, why don't you deliver it?
380
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:46,300
Let's go somewhere with white
coats and machinery that beeps.
381
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,733
Anyway, it's not like you're
gonna get turned on, is it?
382
00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:49,667
You're my mum.
383
00:14:49,767 --> 00:14:50,767
Yeah.
384
00:14:50,867 --> 00:14:52,667
I'm a woman.
385
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,033
I've known you were that
way since you were six.
386
00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:56,167
You know I'm gay?
387
00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:57,067
That's what I said.
388
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:58,000
You didn't say that.
389
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,033
Why didn't you mention it?
390
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,133
It's none of my business.
391
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,533
Anyway, you didn't feel need
to share, so why should I?
392
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:06,067
It's starting again.
393
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:08,167
Can you rub my back for me?
394
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,567
Oh.
395
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:10,533
Katie and Carl back?
396
00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:11,700
No.
397
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,000
Has he called?
398
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,033
He's not answering his mobi.
399
00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,033
I don't know where he is.
400
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,367
We're pretty busy here, Mandy.
401
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,833
Is he a nurse or a doctor?
402
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:31,867
Nurse.
403
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,233
They're just chatting.
404
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:37,567
If he was a doctor, they'd
be crawling up his ass.
405
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:41,367
- I'd never be a male nurse.
- Why not?
406
00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:43,200
It's not gay.
407
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,300
I know it isn't, but you spend
all day shaving men's pubes
408
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,900
off.
409
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,467
Who told you that?
410
00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:52,600
Gabby on reception.
411
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,233
I can't find her.
412
00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:56,433
The address Bindy
gave, it's a wreck.
413
00:15:56,533 --> 00:15:57,767
No one lives there.
414
00:15:57,867 --> 00:15:58,700
What am I gonna do?
415
00:15:58,800 --> 00:15:59,800
I've bloody lost Katie.
416
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,067
Mandy's gonna wazz
off the scale.
417
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:03,133
(QUIETLY) Shut up.
418
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:04,733
Right, this girl, what
do you know about her?
419
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,600
Nothing.
420
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,567
Her name, Bindy.
421
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:09,533
What does she look like?
422
00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:10,967
She's sort of--
423
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:13,833
(MUFFLED) Any news on her mum?
424
00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:15,500
I'm rubbish at descriptions.
425
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,733
She's just normal.
426
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:17,767
She stole a kid.
427
00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:19,400
It could be a mistake.
428
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,700
She gave you a false address.
429
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,633
Do you think she'll hurt her?
430
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:24,900
Don't think so.
431
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,333
She seems to really love
kids, in a good way.
432
00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:29,133
[sigh]
433
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,500
I'll ring Tom.
434
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,267
But you're gonna
have to tell Mandy.
435
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,333
- She'll kill me.
- Yeah, you deserve it.
436
00:16:37,633 --> 00:16:39,800
Yeah, I'll wipe it off.
437
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:43,367
[music playing]
438
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,933
Where is she?
439
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,467
PADDY: What does she look like?
440
00:16:57,367 --> 00:17:00,433
(MUFFLED) Any news on her mum?
441
00:17:00,533 --> 00:17:02,300
Pink top, she's
got a pink top.
442
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,867
Every girl in 10 miles is
wearing a fucking pink top.
443
00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,400
What if she's
changed her clothes?
444
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,467
Let's Do him.
445
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:10,933
I'm the only one
that'll recognize her.
446
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:12,067
- You don't know fuck.
- I will if I see her.
447
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:13,833
If Katie's been
hurt, I'll kill him.
448
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,100
I don't think she'd hurt her.
449
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,367
She really liked her.
450
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,133
That's the reason I took
her in the first place.
451
00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:20,467
You used our Katie as bait.
452
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:21,400
CARRIE: Maguire?
453
00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:25,233
OK.
454
00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,500
We'll take over.
Police matter.
455
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,100
We didn't call you.
It's a Maguire matter.
456
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,767
We'll drive him around,
see if we can find her.
457
00:17:30,867 --> 00:17:31,767
Come on.
458
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,100
Come with us, Carl.
459
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,100
What are we doing?
460
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,200
Fucking get out looking.
- Move.
461
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,600
Split up.
Call everybody you know.
462
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,500
Go!
463
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,467
[music playing]
464
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:43,867
MIMI: Come here, love.
465
00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,333
Close.
466
00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:46,067
BOTH: Stop!
467
00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:47,333
That was mine.
468
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,800
LIAM: That was cheating.
[interposing voices]
469
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,967
Mine-- mine did.
470
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,367
[continuous beep]
471
00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:52,400
Shit.
472
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,567
What?
473
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:55,500
What?
474
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,267
DEBBIE: That noise.
475
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,033
What?
476
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:00,767
Just stopped his heart.
477
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,300
[beeping]
478
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,200
We've killed him.
479
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,000
Nurse!
480
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,933
Nurse!
481
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,867
[defibrillator whirring]
482
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:14,933
Come on, don't do this to me.
483
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:16,167
Clear!
484
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:17,600
Come on, talk to me.
Talk to me.
485
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:18,533
Come on!
Clear!
486
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,933
Oh, sorry, luvvies.
487
00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:25,767
Give you a scare?
488
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,800
No harm done.
489
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,800
Always flying off.
490
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,567
[machine beeping]
491
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:34,467
What where you
doing with them?
492
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:35,400
Nothing.
493
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,600
Can you smell burning?
494
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,567
No.
495
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,400
[music playing]
496
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,167
TOM: Is that her there?
497
00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:48,367
CARL: I don't know.
498
00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:51,000
You've got to do better
than this, Carl, please.
499
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,000
She's got Katie.
500
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,267
I've got like a mental block.
501
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,700
You're not helping
yourself here.
502
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,667
Fuck off, you.
503
00:18:56,767 --> 00:18:58,233
I still think you're a pedo.
504
00:18:58,333 --> 00:18:59,300
Carl.
505
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,133
You ever heard the
phrase police brutality?
506
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:05,767
Is this normal?
507
00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:06,900
As far as I can remember.
508
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,600
I think I've blotted
most of it out.
509
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,633
I'm not surprised.
510
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,600
Horror show.
511
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,167
[monica moans]
512
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,933
How did you know?
513
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,300
I barely knew myself.
514
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,267
There was something
different about you.
515
00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:24,167
You weren't like Lip,
all bustle and breakages.
516
00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:27,033
You were--
- Don't say sensitive.
517
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,633
No, not just that.
518
00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:32,900
I am your mother.
519
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,600
I did think about
you and how you'd be.
520
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,900
I did.
521
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,400
I'm surprised you
haven't moved on.
522
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,000
I might never live
in a family again.
523
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:48,000
Oh, here comes another one.
524
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,933
They must've sent
another midwife by now.
525
00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:52,700
Here you are, mate.
526
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,633
[music playing]
527
00:19:58,133 --> 00:19:59,333
Can't find him.
528
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,067
No one's coming.
529
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,100
We're on our own.
530
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,900
Please, let's go
to the hospital.
531
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,167
No, not till Frank gets here.
532
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:06,800
I want to do it
proper this time.
533
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,167
I want both parents there.
534
00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:11,767
I want a real
start for the baby.
535
00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:16,233
[music playing]
536
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,200
LIAM: Is that an
involuntary reaction?
537
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,300
DEBBIE: Probably claim that.
538
00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:29,867
Is it gone?
- You look.
539
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:30,800
You're the oldest.
540
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,700
You're gonna be a bloke.
541
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,800
You look.
542
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:33,700
Safe.
543
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,900
I'm not around this aftie.
544
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,067
LILLIAN: Eh?
545
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:41,000
Things to do.
546
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:41,967
Are you all right, love?
547
00:20:42,067 --> 00:20:43,700
Do you need a friendly ear?
548
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,500
Nose out, Lillian.
549
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,800
[music playing]
550
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,200
SHANE: Are you helping?
551
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,300
- What?
- Looking for Katie.
552
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,600
Who?
553
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:58,900
Our Mandy's baby.
554
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,200
Mandy's got a baby?
555
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,067
Yes.
556
00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,967
You've seen her loads of times.
557
00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:04,100
What's happened?
558
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,967
Some girl's run off with her.
559
00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:06,900
Fuck.
560
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,533
That's fucking well sick.
561
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:09,767
What you doing anyway?
562
00:21:09,867 --> 00:21:10,900
I thought you was
on a double shift.
563
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,300
GP check up.
564
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,000
I go all the time, sparing
you the full facts.
565
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:15,967
I've gotta go.
566
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,500
I'll see you in a bit.
567
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,067
CLINICIAN: Want
a glass of water?
568
00:21:24,167 --> 00:21:25,767
And that's it, gone?
569
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:29,333
You can come back for a check
up afterwards if you want.
570
00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:30,900
You always this helpful?
571
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,667
Or are you specially keen to
make sure I don't drop one?
572
00:21:34,767 --> 00:21:36,767
We treat everyone the same.
573
00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:38,967
It's your decision.
574
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:42,833
[music playing]
575
00:21:42,933 --> 00:21:44,167
[monica groans]
576
00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:45,967
How long can this go on for?
577
00:21:46,067 --> 00:21:48,533
Oh, fucking days.
578
00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:49,433
Days?
579
00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,500
Piss off.
580
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,333
I'm knackered.
581
00:21:51,433 --> 00:21:52,567
It must be ready to come out.
582
00:21:52,667 --> 00:21:55,200
Yeah, it is.
583
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,467
I'm holding it in.
584
00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:57,367
What?
585
00:21:57,467 --> 00:21:58,400
I mean it.
586
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:01,967
It's not coming out
till Frank's here.
587
00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:06,467
He's in a coma in hospital.
588
00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:09,500
Well, why didn't
you fucking tell me?
589
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,100
The doctor said not to.
590
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,467
Oh, get me fucking bag.
591
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:14,400
Oh.
592
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,967
I spy with my little eye--
593
00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:21,900
We're not that desperate.
594
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:22,833
IAN: Coming through!
595
00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:24,133
[monica pants]
596
00:22:24,233 --> 00:22:25,433
- What is it?
- I had to tell her.
597
00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:26,933
She wouldn't give birth
till she got here.
598
00:22:27,033 --> 00:22:27,867
Well, I can't watch.
599
00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:28,833
LIAM: Me neither.
600
00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:29,767
IAN: It's down to me again.
601
00:22:29,867 --> 00:22:31,267
Get a nurse!
602
00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:32,733
MONICA: Oh, do you think you
could wake up for the birth?
603
00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:33,800
IAN: Look at the
useless asshole.
604
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,233
He's out for the fucking count.
605
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,800
MONICA: Don't talk about
your dad like that!
606
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:37,800
IAN: He's not my dad.
607
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,767
[monica groans]
608
00:22:39,867 --> 00:22:43,767
[music playing]
609
00:22:44,767 --> 00:22:47,200
[birds twittering]
610
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:49,633
You're awake.
611
00:22:49,733 --> 00:22:53,067
About fucking time, mate.
612
00:22:53,167 --> 00:22:55,600
Brekkeroo.
613
00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:57,933
Hey, what's with
the city boy stripes?
614
00:22:58,033 --> 00:23:00,100
Fucking belting
opportunity, mate.
615
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,600
Luck's in, Daddio.
616
00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:05,267
With your son by your side,
we're gonna rock the world.
617
00:23:05,367 --> 00:23:07,033
Room at the trough for
all the little pigs.
618
00:23:07,133 --> 00:23:09,300
We need a chat once
you finish malingering.
619
00:23:12,533 --> 00:23:15,833
Five minutes R and
R, then we teleport.
620
00:23:15,933 --> 00:23:17,333
Ready for your injection, nurse?
621
00:23:17,433 --> 00:23:18,600
[nurse giggles]
622
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:20,900
MONICA: He's coming, Frank.
623
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,033
IAN: You're doing great.
MONICA: Baby's coming.
624
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,500
IAN: Keep breathing.
Come on, push.
625
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,467
[monica screams]
626
00:23:26,967 --> 00:23:28,300
Now then, now then.
627
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,433
How's about?
628
00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:32,367
How's about concentrating
on the main event?
629
00:23:32,467 --> 00:23:33,733
Me.
630
00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:36,300
Later.
631
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,233
You're like a dog
with two fucking dicks.
632
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:40,633
Do you know what
you're looking apart
633
00:23:40,733 --> 00:23:42,567
from a fucking handsome devil?
634
00:23:42,667 --> 00:23:43,933
Shock me to my bones.
635
00:23:44,033 --> 00:23:47,667
Behold Svengali, the
showbiz entrepreneur.
636
00:23:47,767 --> 00:23:50,300
I sniff out the small acts,
promote them in clubs.
637
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,100
Screw the girls, take all
the money, and flog 'em on.
638
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,500
Fucking license to print, mate.
639
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,400
I'm wedged.
640
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:56,300
Flower, Dad?
641
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,700
Oh, thanks, Lola, lovely.
642
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,033
Fighting fit?
643
00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:02,767
Back to the best of
myself, Lo, the very best.
644
00:24:02,867 --> 00:24:06,133
That's the fucking
spirit, our dad.
645
00:24:06,233 --> 00:24:07,267
Can you do that any harder?
646
00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:08,200
Jesus.
647
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:11,800
I'm straight off
me deathbed here.
648
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:12,833
Daddy's home.
649
00:24:12,933 --> 00:24:14,800
[all exclaim]
650
00:24:16,333 --> 00:24:18,167
What's with the blankets?
651
00:24:18,267 --> 00:24:19,333
I'm sorry, Frank.
652
00:24:19,433 --> 00:24:21,933
I've gone all
insidey-outsidey again.
653
00:24:22,033 --> 00:24:23,667
Jesus Christ, Sheila-Monica.
654
00:24:23,767 --> 00:24:24,633
I told you.
655
00:24:24,733 --> 00:24:26,000
You've gotta stop it, babe.
656
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:28,567
I've run out of special pills.
657
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:29,567
She's cooked for you.
658
00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:30,600
I've tried it.
659
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,400
Awesome, bloody gorgeous pie.
660
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:35,200
Melty mega.
661
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:37,000
WOMAN IN RED: I've done
your ironing for you, love.
662
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,933
It's a tonic to see
all my girls lined up.
663
00:24:40,033 --> 00:24:41,167
Got any socks
that need mending?
664
00:24:41,267 --> 00:24:42,700
Oh, I-- I could
wash your hair.
665
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,600
Give the man some space.
666
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:46,100
Been in a coma.
667
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,633
If that's not the fucking
definition of deserving a pint,
668
00:24:48,733 --> 00:24:50,367
I don't know what is.
669
00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:51,400
Can I come?
670
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,700
Sorry, mate, you
still only got one arm.
671
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:54,633
It's all that wanking.
672
00:24:54,733 --> 00:24:55,900
I warned you.
673
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:56,967
It's worth an arm.
674
00:24:57,067 --> 00:24:58,033
ALL WOMEN: Aw.
675
00:25:00,067 --> 00:25:00,900
SHEILA: Bye!
676
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:01,867
MONICA: Bye!
677
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,267
Bye, love you.
678
00:25:03,367 --> 00:25:05,000
IAN: Come on, let's
talk business.
679
00:25:10,433 --> 00:25:11,900
[belch]
680
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,467
Filled an 'ole.
681
00:25:13,567 --> 00:25:15,433
[music playing]
682
00:25:15,533 --> 00:25:16,400
Scratch an itch.
683
00:25:20,233 --> 00:25:22,200
It's your fucking round.
684
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:24,033
You're the best.
685
00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:25,200
Apart from your dad, of course.
686
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:26,367
Oh, thanks for that, Karen.
687
00:25:26,467 --> 00:25:28,500
It's always nice
to be remembered.
688
00:25:31,767 --> 00:25:34,000
So what do you say?
689
00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:34,900
What?
690
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,700
To me being your manager.
691
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:37,733
Managing what?
692
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:39,100
You really don't know?
693
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,067
FRANK: What?
694
00:25:40,167 --> 00:25:41,300
You're a talented guy.
695
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,733
With my help, sky's
the fucking minimum.
696
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:44,800
Infinity's the limit.
697
00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:45,733
Pads!
698
00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:46,633
[whistles]
699
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,733
Who is the funniest guy
you have ever seen or met?
700
00:25:51,833 --> 00:25:54,400
I've seen Les
Dawson, Tarby, Fat
701
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,867
Bernard, Creepy Doddy, the lot.
702
00:25:56,967 --> 00:26:00,267
Funniest man I've
ever met, Frank.
703
00:26:00,367 --> 00:26:01,000
Me?
704
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:02,133
Without a doubt.
705
00:26:02,233 --> 00:26:04,000
Frank Gallagher,
you crack me up.
706
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,933
Cheers, Pads, on your way.
707
00:26:06,033 --> 00:26:07,300
I'm funny?
708
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,533
All you need to do is
get up on stage and rant
709
00:26:09,633 --> 00:26:10,533
like a bastard.
710
00:26:10,633 --> 00:26:11,467
Try it out here.
711
00:26:11,567 --> 00:26:12,367
Talent night tonight.
712
00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:18,300
Thank you, Chatsworth!
713
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,267
Good night!
714
00:26:19,367 --> 00:26:21,000
You've been a
wonderful audience!
715
00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:24,533
[cheering]
716
00:26:30,567 --> 00:26:31,500
Do you believe me now?
717
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,433
I do!
718
00:26:32,533 --> 00:26:33,533
I do.
719
00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:35,967
That was the moment
I've been waiting for.
720
00:26:36,067 --> 00:26:40,133
I am finally, ugh, born.
721
00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:42,667
That's what it feels
like, like I've been born.
722
00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:43,800
Perspective, mate.
723
00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:45,533
Don't blow it out
your ass just yet.
724
00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:48,100
It's only The Jockey.
725
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,667
Do we have a deal?
726
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,300
FRANK: We do.
727
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,467
I'm gonna be a fucking star.
728
00:26:58,567 --> 00:27:01,467
Finally, recognition.
729
00:27:01,567 --> 00:27:02,433
Yeah!
730
00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:05,833
[cheering]
731
00:27:05,933 --> 00:27:07,400
It's all down to you, son.
732
00:27:09,967 --> 00:27:10,800
[monica groans]
733
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:12,200
IAN: Keep pushing, Mum.
734
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,100
I can see its head.
MIDWIFE: Keep pushing.
735
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,667
You're doing well.
MONICA: It's coming!
736
00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:16,600
IAN: You're doing great.
737
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:17,733
One last push, Mum.
738
00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:18,867
You've gone
stellar, haven't you?
739
00:27:18,967 --> 00:27:20,967
Can't get away from
you on the box.
740
00:27:21,067 --> 00:27:22,700
I hear they're making a
documentary about you,
741
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,967
aren't they?
742
00:27:24,067 --> 00:27:25,167
Thought he were
clever, but he were
743
00:27:25,267 --> 00:27:28,100
not but a thieving, pikey twat.
744
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,967
But smoked his own
weight every week.
745
00:27:30,067 --> 00:27:31,500
So what can you do, eh?
746
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,133
Despite the booze,
the fags, the drugs,
747
00:27:35,233 --> 00:27:38,567
he does have surprisingly
sweet breath.
748
00:27:38,667 --> 00:27:41,200
For years, he's pretended
I'm a man in drag.
749
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:42,833
Bloody gay, I reckon.
750
00:27:42,933 --> 00:27:44,267
Calls me Bob Selecta.
751
00:27:44,367 --> 00:27:47,533
Still, better than Phil Selecta.
752
00:27:47,633 --> 00:27:48,800
[imitates gun firing]
753
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:50,967
BIG BROTHER: Day
88 in the House.
754
00:27:51,067 --> 00:27:52,700
Elton's having a
difficult one, though.
755
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,067
You know, a bit down.
756
00:27:54,167 --> 00:27:55,633
BIG BROTHER: And do you
think that could have
757
00:27:55,733 --> 00:27:57,900
anything to do with the fact you
called him a fat, bald gaylord?
758
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,567
[music playing]
759
00:28:01,867 --> 00:28:03,300
TV PRESENTER: All right,
let's see how Franky fares
760
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,867
in his tough fucker trial.
761
00:28:06,967 --> 00:28:09,433
Get me
762
00:28:09,533 --> 00:28:13,000
[music playing]
763
00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:15,867
JUDGE: Oh.
764
00:28:15,967 --> 00:28:18,400
Doesn't his paso
doble stand out?
765
00:28:23,467 --> 00:28:26,967
This is where history
began, talent night here.
766
00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:28,300
[laughs]
767
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:29,100
Pissed it.
768
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,833
Acting all shit-faced.
769
00:28:32,933 --> 00:28:34,200
The irony is I don't
drink that much.
770
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:35,167
You know, it's an act.
771
00:28:35,267 --> 00:28:38,133
It's a, you know, a persona.
772
00:28:38,233 --> 00:28:39,767
INTERVIEWER: You've been
very generous in attributing
773
00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:42,167
a large portion of your
success to your son, Ian.
774
00:28:42,267 --> 00:28:43,433
Mm.
775
00:28:43,533 --> 00:28:45,233
I believe you signed half
your earnings over to him.
776
00:28:45,333 --> 00:28:47,700
Sorry, can't talk about that.
777
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,000
INTERVIEWER: Oh, all right,
let's-- let's cut that.
778
00:28:51,100 --> 00:28:52,867
Big news, Daddio.
779
00:28:52,967 --> 00:28:53,867
What, another triumph?
780
00:28:53,967 --> 00:28:55,067
I could get bored with them.
781
00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:57,233
Too fuckety-fuck it is.
782
00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:59,633
Adam Sandler's dropped
out of some shit film,
783
00:28:59,733 --> 00:29:00,967
and they want you.
784
00:29:01,067 --> 00:29:01,900
Hollywood?
785
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,567
Exactamundo.
786
00:29:03,667 --> 00:29:04,967
Globalization.
787
00:29:05,067 --> 00:29:07,633
Everything we've
ever hated is ours.
788
00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:10,867
You're fucking Starbucks
and McDonald's wrapped
789
00:29:10,967 --> 00:29:13,600
in a stream of pissed bollocks.
790
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,867
I'm a franchise?
791
00:29:15,967 --> 00:29:17,100
A Frankise!
792
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,233
[both laugh]
793
00:29:19,333 --> 00:29:22,367
Me and a line of sons
reaching 'round the world.
794
00:29:22,467 --> 00:29:23,767
My loins.
795
00:29:23,867 --> 00:29:24,667
Success.
796
00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:29,300
God, I've got a good
one when I got you.
797
00:29:32,467 --> 00:29:33,300
What's that?
798
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,100
I've rescued a
little baby puppy.
799
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,333
What the fuck for?
800
00:29:36,433 --> 00:29:37,733
For us.
801
00:29:37,833 --> 00:29:40,600
But we can't take it to America
because he's scared of flying,
802
00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:41,600
too.
803
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,933
(ECHOING) Please, I need you.
804
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:45,933
Monica needs you.
805
00:29:46,033 --> 00:29:47,933
Choose the real thing.
806
00:29:48,033 --> 00:29:48,933
Hold him, Frank.
807
00:29:49,033 --> 00:29:49,900
It's real.
808
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,433
Choose the thing.
809
00:29:51,533 --> 00:29:52,633
It isn't a choice.
810
00:29:52,733 --> 00:29:53,567
You signed this.
811
00:29:56,233 --> 00:29:59,733
I'm everything you wished for.
812
00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:01,800
That's a copy.
813
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:02,733
What?
814
00:30:02,833 --> 00:30:03,700
You owe me money, Frank.
815
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,133
Gotta pay.
816
00:30:05,233 --> 00:30:07,667
MONICA: (ECHOING)
Wake up, Frank.
817
00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:09,233
I need you!
818
00:30:14,467 --> 00:30:16,233
I did say I was
a handsome devil.
819
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,600
But-- but I'm your father.
820
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:21,500
I made you.
821
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,533
Not strictly true.
822
00:30:24,633 --> 00:30:29,033
No blood, as you never
fucking tire of reminding me.
823
00:30:29,133 --> 00:30:30,033
Choose us, Frank.
824
00:30:30,133 --> 00:30:31,200
Take the puppy.
825
00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:32,000
Take it.
826
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:34,567
Don't touch to puppy, Frank.
827
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,533
Don't touch it.
828
00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:36,933
Don't touch the puppy.
829
00:30:37,033 --> 00:30:38,900
Don't touch the puppy.
830
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,033
[screams]
831
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,433
MONICA: He's awake.
832
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,167
What's this?
833
00:30:53,867 --> 00:30:57,033
Where's its tail?
834
00:30:57,133 --> 00:30:58,467
It ain't got a tail.
835
00:30:58,567 --> 00:30:59,833
It's little girl.
836
00:30:59,933 --> 00:31:01,067
Oh, another one?
837
00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:07,100
You all right?
838
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:10,633
I'm glad you where there.
839
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,833
Did I faint?
840
00:31:16,933 --> 00:31:17,800
It weren't too bad.
841
00:31:17,900 --> 00:31:18,733
She's lying.
842
00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:20,900
Fucking horrible.
843
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,800
She did really well.
844
00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,500
MONICA: Ian was here for me.
845
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,800
Will you say hello to
your little sis, Ian?
846
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:33,800
[music playing]
847
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:47,067
Two hours.
Two hours.
848
00:31:47,167 --> 00:31:48,233
What if they've not found--
849
00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:48,967
Stop.
850
00:31:49,067 --> 00:31:51,667
Look at what we know.
851
00:31:51,767 --> 00:31:52,633
It's a woman.
852
00:31:52,733 --> 00:31:54,567
That's got to be good news.
853
00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:55,933
She likes Katie.
854
00:31:56,033 --> 00:31:57,133
She met her a few times.
855
00:31:57,233 --> 00:31:59,267
Carl trusted her.
856
00:31:59,367 --> 00:32:01,233
Even he's not stupid
enough he'd leave her
857
00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:04,767
with a proper fucking headcase.
858
00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:06,100
You let him take her out.
859
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,767
So it's my fault?
860
00:32:07,867 --> 00:32:10,300
No.
861
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:15,700
You left Katie with him, so he
can't be that untrustworthy.
862
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,500
She will be found.
863
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,433
[music playing]
864
00:32:29,867 --> 00:32:30,700
You got a light, love?
865
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,300
Uh, yeah, somewhere.
866
00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:37,033
Here you go.
867
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,800
Cheers.
868
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:43,733
Cheers.
869
00:32:46,467 --> 00:32:47,367
How old is she?
870
00:32:47,467 --> 00:32:50,200
Uh, three.
871
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:51,200
What's your name, sweetie?
872
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:54,033
She's called Gemma.
873
00:32:54,133 --> 00:32:56,100
I don't really like
people smoking around her.
874
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,100
Yeah, apparently,
it's bad for you.
875
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:04,233
[music playing]
876
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,633
Katie?
877
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,833
LIAM: She's massive.
878
00:33:14,933 --> 00:33:17,067
DEBBIE: She looks
about three months old.
879
00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,900
Can you go and get
your mum, Debbie?
880
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,000
I was going to get off.
881
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,167
Can't Liam do it?
882
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:24,633
What, you're
leaving your old dad?
883
00:33:24,733 --> 00:33:25,733
I'm seeing Tom.
884
00:33:25,833 --> 00:33:26,667
I'll get her.
885
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,267
What are you gonna call her?
886
00:33:34,367 --> 00:33:36,833
Stella.
887
00:33:36,933 --> 00:33:38,333
Good name.
888
00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,400
Pretty.
889
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:42,633
Why don't you call her
Tenants Purple or Thunderbird?
890
00:33:42,733 --> 00:33:43,933
Fuck sake, Dad.
891
00:33:44,033 --> 00:33:45,133
Not the beer.
892
00:33:45,233 --> 00:33:48,333
Jesus, I'm not that
fucking deranged.
893
00:33:48,433 --> 00:33:51,800
Stella for star.
894
00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:54,400
Our little star.
895
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:58,700
[music playing]
896
00:34:03,133 --> 00:34:04,200
What's that for?
897
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,467
Thanks for looking
after your mum.
898
00:34:06,567 --> 00:34:07,467
It's appreciated.
899
00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:11,733
You're a good son.
900
00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:19,200
Sometimes I look
at you and mum
901
00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,833
and I can see you
very neatly work.
902
00:34:21,933 --> 00:34:23,667
Bugger me.
I fucking can't.
903
00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:32,267
KELLY: Have you stopped?
904
00:34:32,367 --> 00:34:34,100
You can't even fucking
look after her.
905
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,000
Look at the state.
906
00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:37,633
She's filthy.
907
00:34:37,733 --> 00:34:41,000
I just thought I could be a
mum to her since hers ran off.
908
00:34:41,100 --> 00:34:42,667
She hasn't run off.
909
00:34:42,767 --> 00:34:46,167
She's desperate.
910
00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,633
She really looks
like my little sister.
911
00:34:47,733 --> 00:34:48,867
Don't tell me.
912
00:34:48,967 --> 00:34:51,933
She died in a terrible
fucking accident.
913
00:34:52,033 --> 00:34:54,633
BINDY: We had a fire.
914
00:34:54,733 --> 00:34:55,533
Fuck.
915
00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:01,267
Is that true or are
you just fucking nut?
916
00:35:01,367 --> 00:35:03,667
Of course it's true.
917
00:35:03,767 --> 00:35:06,233
It's my sister.
918
00:35:06,333 --> 00:35:09,767
I didn't know what to do.
919
00:35:09,867 --> 00:35:11,200
At the time, I wasn't thinking.
920
00:35:11,300 --> 00:35:15,233
I just-- I wrote our old
address down without thinking.
921
00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:19,300
And then-- I'm sorry.
922
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,033
I don't you to drop
your load, but her family
923
00:35:25,133 --> 00:35:28,333
are well fucking creative
when it comes to revenge.
924
00:35:28,433 --> 00:35:31,633
Get help, and get it
a long way from here.
925
00:35:31,733 --> 00:35:32,533
I will.
926
00:35:37,167 --> 00:35:40,167
Quite nice really, isn't she?
927
00:35:40,267 --> 00:35:44,967
Girl didn't mean any
harm, I don't think.
928
00:35:45,067 --> 00:35:46,133
MANDY: Katie.
929
00:35:46,233 --> 00:35:47,067
MIMI: Is she all right?
930
00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:48,933
She's lovely.
931
00:35:49,033 --> 00:35:50,433
Did you see the girl, Bindy?
932
00:35:50,533 --> 00:35:51,433
Yeah.
933
00:35:51,533 --> 00:35:52,533
TOM: Can you give
us a description?
934
00:35:52,633 --> 00:35:55,133
Can do better than that.
935
00:35:55,233 --> 00:35:58,267
Got a photie.
936
00:35:58,367 --> 00:35:59,733
TOM: Carl, take a look.
937
00:35:59,833 --> 00:36:01,367
CARRIE: That her?
938
00:36:01,467 --> 00:36:03,733
You haven't got one with a
bit more of her in, have you?
939
00:36:03,833 --> 00:36:06,200
Like what?
940
00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:07,533
More upper body.
941
00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:11,933
Fuck it.
942
00:36:12,033 --> 00:36:13,033
That's her, deffo.
943
00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:18,667
PADDY: Thank God.
944
00:36:18,767 --> 00:36:20,533
And Kelly.
945
00:36:20,633 --> 00:36:22,933
Some terrible things have
been said about this girl.
946
00:36:23,033 --> 00:36:24,233
Yeah, mainly by you.
947
00:36:24,333 --> 00:36:26,367
Shut up, dickless.
948
00:36:26,467 --> 00:36:29,000
And I'm sorry, but
that's behind us now.
949
00:36:29,100 --> 00:36:31,500
This house will always
be grateful and always
950
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,600
have a welcome for you.
951
00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:33,900
Ta.
952
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,833
Ta.
953
00:36:35,933 --> 00:36:37,767
So what do we do with Carl?
954
00:36:37,867 --> 00:36:39,167
Don't anything to him.
955
00:36:39,267 --> 00:36:40,333
We've got her back now, and
that's all that matters.
956
00:36:40,433 --> 00:36:42,600
No, I meant what
do we do with him?
957
00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:45,033
Do we leave him there?
958
00:36:45,133 --> 00:36:46,167
I'm gonna be sick!
959
00:36:49,033 --> 00:36:51,067
You can't just
fucking leave me here!
960
00:36:53,567 --> 00:36:54,400
Help!
961
00:37:02,167 --> 00:37:03,233
SHANE: How were check up?
962
00:37:03,333 --> 00:37:04,000
What?
963
00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:05,300
You went to the doctors.
964
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:06,067
Oh.
965
00:37:06,167 --> 00:37:07,700
Yeah, I'm fine.
966
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,533
Bollocks.
967
00:37:09,633 --> 00:37:11,800
What are you lying for?
968
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:12,700
Tell me.
969
00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:19,933
I was arranging an abortion.
970
00:37:20,033 --> 00:37:22,300
You can do it with a pill now.
971
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,500
Is it mine?
972
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,367
Well, you're the only man
I've been careless with.
973
00:37:25,467 --> 00:37:26,933
I haven't had any
accidents with anyone else.
974
00:37:27,033 --> 00:37:27,867
Is it mine?
975
00:37:27,967 --> 00:37:29,233
Yes, it's fucking yours.
976
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:34,467
Did you take it?
977
00:37:37,467 --> 00:37:39,733
No, not yet.
978
00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:40,767
Good.
979
00:37:40,867 --> 00:37:42,033
Fucking hell, Kelly.
980
00:37:42,133 --> 00:37:44,300
We've got a traditional,
a family tradition.
981
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,633
Maguires, you knock
a girl up and you
982
00:37:47,733 --> 00:37:48,833
stick by her, no matter what.
983
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:49,733
What?
984
00:37:53,833 --> 00:37:55,400
Kelly.
985
00:37:55,500 --> 00:38:02,933
You're a wave washed
over my whole life.
986
00:38:03,033 --> 00:38:05,133
You made it worth something.
987
00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:09,933
Shane?
988
00:38:10,033 --> 00:38:11,067
Shut up.
989
00:38:11,167 --> 00:38:14,033
I'll do anything for you.
990
00:38:14,133 --> 00:38:15,133
I worship you.
991
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:20,633
I love you.
992
00:38:20,733 --> 00:38:22,100
I want us to have this baby.
993
00:38:26,833 --> 00:38:28,300
FRANK: Oh, that's better!
994
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,100
Full house, I was beginning to
think it was empty 'round here.
995
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,200
Has she done anything yet?
996
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,733
Yeah, yeah,
she's give us a tip
997
00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:37,800
on a horse and invited us 'round
to the pub to wet her head.
998
00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:38,733
Yeah?
999
00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:40,267
Joke.
1000
00:38:40,367 --> 00:38:41,800
You know, you may not realize,
but your dad is a funny guy.
1001
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:42,767
LIAM: Yeah, right.
1002
00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:44,033
Yeah.
1003
00:38:44,133 --> 00:38:47,900
Well, then, gather 'round.
1004
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:54,600
And say hello to
Stella Iana Gallagher.
1005
00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:55,533
Iana?
1006
00:38:59,033 --> 00:39:00,533
Oh.
1007
00:39:00,633 --> 00:39:01,333
Yeah.
1008
00:39:01,433 --> 00:39:02,700
Now who wants to hold her?
1009
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,600
Me.
1010
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:09,200
Good girl.
1011
00:39:11,533 --> 00:39:13,100
- Where you off?
- Get changed.
1012
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:14,700
Can't go to the pub
like this, can I?
1013
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,000
I'll get my jacket.
1014
00:39:16,100 --> 00:39:17,833
You're dumping
her on us already?
1015
00:39:17,933 --> 00:39:19,400
Wait, come back!
1016
00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:23,700
[music playing]
1017
00:39:26,733 --> 00:39:29,567
[laughter]
1018
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,567
Mum, Dad.
1019
00:39:34,667 --> 00:39:35,767
I'm up the chuff.
1020
00:39:35,867 --> 00:39:39,167
[cheering]
1021
00:39:39,267 --> 00:39:41,967
That'll be the making of you.
1022
00:39:42,067 --> 00:39:43,467
I'm delighted.
1023
00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:44,833
Thank you.
1024
00:39:44,933 --> 00:39:45,767
MIMI: Did you hear that?
1025
00:39:45,867 --> 00:39:46,733
Pregnant.
1026
00:39:46,833 --> 00:39:48,733
That's how you do it.
1027
00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:51,167
PADDY: I'll be proud to be
the grandfather of your child.
1028
00:39:51,267 --> 00:39:52,467
And what about
the prossie stuff?
1029
00:39:52,567 --> 00:39:53,700
What prossie stuff?
1030
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:54,867
And the drugs.
1031
00:39:54,967 --> 00:39:55,800
Shit.
1032
00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:58,067
What drugs?
1033
00:39:58,167 --> 00:40:01,967
Is there a Maguire tradition
if you knock a girl up?
1034
00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:03,867
There is.
1035
00:40:03,967 --> 00:40:05,367
Never give your real name.
1036
00:40:05,467 --> 00:40:09,233
[music playing]
1037
00:40:16,367 --> 00:40:19,767
- You fucking romantic bastard.
- Drinks.
1038
00:40:19,867 --> 00:40:20,967
A celebration.
1039
00:40:21,067 --> 00:40:23,600
Hey, we have had
another little one.
1040
00:40:23,700 --> 00:40:26,067
Is there anything you wouldn't
use to get a free drink?
1041
00:40:26,167 --> 00:40:29,200
I have had a bang on the head.
1042
00:40:29,300 --> 00:40:30,767
Drinks are on the
house tonight, Frank.
1043
00:40:30,867 --> 00:40:31,933
First round.
1044
00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:32,933
That'll do.
1045
00:40:33,033 --> 00:40:34,067
Oh--
1046
00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:35,800
Watch where you're
fucking going.
1047
00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:38,067
I'm Kelly fucking
Maguire, nearly.
1048
00:40:38,167 --> 00:40:39,133
FRANK: Good evening-- oh.
1049
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,267
Good evening, Chatsworth.
1050
00:40:44,367 --> 00:40:45,667
Yeah.
1051
00:40:45,767 --> 00:40:50,133
As some of you may already know,
we have become a father again.
1052
00:40:50,233 --> 00:40:52,300
Thank you, thank you.
1053
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,933
Little Stella is over
there with the rest
1054
00:40:55,033 --> 00:40:57,033
of my wonderful family--
1055
00:40:57,133 --> 00:41:00,333
Liam and Debbie
and Carl and Ian.
1056
00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:05,800
And my wife Monica.
1057
00:41:05,900 --> 00:41:09,800
I could not be
prouder, and I would
1058
00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:12,767
like to take this opportunity
of giving you my impersonation
1059
00:41:12,867 --> 00:41:14,800
of Stephen Hawking in the bath.
1060
00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:17,033
Thank you.
1061
00:41:17,133 --> 00:41:19,500
For the universe is complete.
1062
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,633
[interposing voices]
1063
00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:25,033
[rumbling]
1064
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:26,767
Don't mock that man.
1065
00:41:26,867 --> 00:41:28,300
He's a fucking hero.
1066
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,000
Off.
1067
00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:32,433
Bollocks.
1068
00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:33,700
PADDY: Party.
1069
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,267
Here you are.
1070
00:41:35,367 --> 00:41:37,500
FRANK: Little Stella.
1071
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,033
ALL: Stella.
1072
00:41:40,133 --> 00:41:41,333
IAN: Cheers.
1073
00:41:41,433 --> 00:41:42,267
Dad.
1074
00:41:44,533 --> 00:41:47,767
Dick.
FRANK (VOICEOVER): Dick?
1075
00:41:47,867 --> 00:41:49,500
Oh yeah, cheers.
1076
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,867
All this nature versus the
other bugger's shite, bollocks.
1077
00:41:52,967 --> 00:41:55,767
Comes down to it, you know
you're a parent if you're being
1078
00:41:55,867 --> 00:41:57,467
abused and you don't mind.
1079
00:41:57,567 --> 00:41:58,667
Say anything.
1080
00:41:58,767 --> 00:42:01,400
Say the un-fucking-sayable
and carry on like sod
1081
00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:02,567
all's happened.
1082
00:42:02,667 --> 00:42:04,633
That's family.
1083
00:42:04,733 --> 00:42:08,200
I'm Frank Gallagher,
and I'm a fucking dick.
1084
00:42:08,300 --> 00:42:14,367
(SINGING) The colors of the
rainbow, so pretty in the sky,
1085
00:42:14,467 --> 00:42:19,200
are there on the faces
of people going by.
1086
00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:25,500
I see friends shaking hands,
saying, How do you do?"
1087
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,067
They're really saying--
1088
00:42:28,167 --> 00:42:29,233
FRANK AND LOUIS
ARMSTRONG (SINGING):
1089
00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:32,600
"I hear babies crying.
1090
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:34,967
I watch them grow.
1091
00:42:35,067 --> 00:42:40,967
They'll learn much more
than I'll ever know."
1092
00:42:41,067 --> 00:42:42,133
Oi, Frank, put that out.
1093
00:42:42,233 --> 00:42:43,067
IAN: Come on, Liam.
1094
00:42:43,167 --> 00:42:44,833
Time for your bottle.
1095
00:42:44,933 --> 00:42:46,000
FRANK: Fuck.
1096
00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:47,300
FRANK AND LOUIS
ARMSTRONG (SINGING):
1097
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:54,667
And I think to myself
what a wonderful world.
1098
00:43:00,467 --> 00:43:12,400
Yes, I think to myself
what a wonderful world.
1099
00:43:25,867 --> 00:43:26,700
FRANK: Fuck you.
1100
00:43:37,767 --> 00:43:40,667
[urine splashing]
1101
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,267
Get a good eyeful,
won't you mate?
65831
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