Original subtitles

FRANK (VOICEOVER): Now nobody's saying that Chatsworth Estate

is the Garden of Eden, but it's been a good home to us, to me,

Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who

I'm proud of because every single one of them

reminds me a little of me.

They can all think for themselves, which

they have me to thank for.

Lip who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody

calls him Philip anymore.

Ian, a lot like his mom, which was handy for the others

when she disappeared into thin air.

And Carl.

We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons.

One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah.

Two, nits love it.

Debbie!

Sent by God, total angel.

You have to check your change, but she'll go miles out

of her way to do you a favor.

Plus lickle Liam, who's going to be a star someday.

Monica, the wife.

She's back with her bird in tow, and we can't get shot of her.

And the neighbors, eh?

Her neighbors!

Well, what can you say?

Well, nothing if you don't want your arms breaking.

Still, nobody's perfect.

But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost one

of the most vital necessities in life

is they know how to throw a party!

[laughs]

Scatter!

[music playing]

CARL (VOICEOVER): Normally, poems are shite, Shakespeare

and Woolworth and all them.

But we got this one at school that says, "They fuck you up,

your mom and your dad."

It's the first poem I ever agreed with.

Your parents are supposed to help you, but they don't.

And they say it's because of the pressures of modern living,

but that's bullocks.

Come along, lad.

Don't dilly-dally.

The good Lord has provided.

Gosh!

I'll have some of that, father.

Me, too.

It looks ripping! - Ah!

No you don't, you two chaps.

Not till young Carl has had his fill.

He's our pride and joy.

CARL (VOICEOVER): If this is how it's supposed to be,

it won't be half bad.

You want to be careful what you wish for, Carl.

Where have you been all my life, doll face?

Fuck me, if it isn't the wife's lesbian lover.

CARL (VOICEOVER): But look at the state of us.

How is this a family?

They do fuck you up, your mom and your dad, and I hate it.

You're like a walking lobotomy sometimes, Carl.

Pot, kettle, black.

Don't knock it till you've tried it, goofy.

What's he doing up?

He hasn't been to bed yet.

Even he'd struggle getting drunk this early.

Oh, are you one of Tony Blair's little thought police

monitoring the behavior of your parents

so you can report them to Esther fucking Rantzen?

Couldn't drop us a tenner, could you?

You must be joking. I'm brassy.

We're out of milk, and she's down to her last nappy.

Welcome to my world.

It's all take, take, take, isn't it?

- Morning. - Debs?

No.

Come on, Liam.

That's right, run off to school,

desert the sinking ship.

Have a nice day, love.

Let lickle Katie piss all over herself.

Dob your parents in for reading the wrong books.

You flogged every book we ever had.

I should have kept the one on contraception, shouldn't I?

See you later.

You haven't have any breakfast!

FRANK: Good!

Sell the toast.

Buy little Katie a nappy.

All right, chicken?

Haven't you forgotten something?

Me Giro!

She took me fucking Giro!

Deb!

Debbie!

[music playing]

No joy.

Go next door and try.

We're not going to your mom and dad's.

They are my family, Lip.

Katie needs-- - I know!

[baby crying]

I know.

I'll sort something.

We agreed.

If we can't make it on our own without your family,

what's the point?

[baby crying]

I'll fix it.

I promise.

[baby crying]

[music playing]

Where's Prince Charming?

Off somewhere, doing something.

I don't--

Happy birthday, bird.

You remembered?

I always do.

Did none of them?

Not a single one.

[sobbing]

[music playing]

Everybody hates me.

Oh, come here.

[sobbing]

[music playing]

MALE OFFICER: This is a waste of time.

FEMALE OFFICER: We catch the Maguires

in the act, then the crime rate on the Estate

will go through the floor.

We're hardly inconspicuous, though, are we?

They're not stupid.

Didn't you bring any cups?

Carrie?

They're in the bottom.

Why would she be packing your bag?

Because we share the house.

You what?

Police house.

I've been on the list for ages, but they

only give them to couples, so Carrie offered her services.

You jammy bastard.

I-- I mean, well, I'm paying 400 quid a month for a shit hole,

and you two get a subsidized house?

It's hardly fair.

Central heating, power shower, fridge freezer.

Could sublet your place and move in with us.

What?

We've got a spare room.

With three of us splitting the rent,

it'll cost next to nothing.

I don't mind if I do.

[music playing]

There's someone at the house!

Must be a buyer.

[music playing]

Jesus!

Blondie's no oil painting, but you're really scraping

the barrel with this one, bruv.

Who the fuck are you?

The name's Kelly, and I'm looking for me but, Kev.

Can I speak to him?

I think you'll fine he doesn't live here anymore, darling!

Police!

No one move!

Piss off, you dyke!

We've reasonable grounds to search

your property, Mrs. Maguire.

You're not coming anywhere near my house

without a search warrant!

It's only a matter of time, Mimi!

Who the fuck's Mimi!

And where's our fuckin' Kevin!

That is foul and unacceptable language.

Fuck off!

I will not tolerate offensive language on my patch!

What are you taking it out on her for?

She's not a Maguire.

That was threatening behavior.

Yeah, from you.

Hit first, ask questions later, again?

You're leaving me no option.

I love the way her nostrils flare when she gets pumped.

Have you noticed that?

[music playing]

We're losing money hand over fist because of you.

It's not my fault pits are staking out the house.

It is your fault we can't distribute through the van.

Ah!

Wrong change?

How's me counting now? - Ah!

- Six! - Ah!

Seven!

Oi!

Leave my son alone!

I'll have your head on a fucking stick!

[tires squealing]

What kind of a man beats up a 12-year-old?

He was disrespecting me.

I'll disrespect you right fucking now.

He'll never learn that way.

He'll take the van out and face the consequences

of his actions.

But they'll kill me. Then

Then there'll be a lesson for you.

No son of mine hides beyond the curtains

when he should be out earning.

[music playing]

Ow, no.

What is the problem?

Well, the problem is, Kelly, love,

last time I gave you a bed, you turned

the house into a knocking shop. - I'll pay rent.

I've got nowhere else to go.

No, I'm sorry.

I've got the kids to think about.

You're not exactly a fucking role model, are you?

- Who's paying? - She is.

He is.

If you don't pay, you don't play.

Fucking hell.

Yes!

No more for Frank Gallagher unless he pays cash.

Take your winnings and fuck off.

But I've got a repeat chance.

You also have a chance to keep your kneecaps.

What's it to be?

[laughs]

We have a winner!

A pint, an Irish chaser, and a large vodka and Coke.

PADDY: (SINGING) Money makes the world go around, the world go

around, the world--

God!

What's the point?

Everybody hates Brussels sprouts.

If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing right,

Carl, even for Monica.

The family that eats together, stays together.

Mind you, once you've seen a man's eating habits,

the romantic illusion shatters.

My Brendan used to eat like a cow chewing cud.

Couldn't get the image out of me head.

Any time he wanted to emigrate south.

Where did Brendan want to emigrate to?

Me fanny.

[bell ringing]

Something's burning.

Shit!

6.80.

Take care of it.

We're all family now, aren't we?

That comes out of my wages.

I'll pay for it.

That's not the point.

[music playing]

Hi, dad.

Fine, yeah.

Fuck off.

Hi, Lip.

Kelly.

What you doing here?

KELLY: I'm looking for a place to stay.

[music playing]

[shouting]

Hiya, Frank.

Do you want to earn some cash?

He's a muppet.

Carl?

They'll put you in a young offenders.

I didn't steal it. I made it.

What for?

Special occasion, like a proper family.

What's that?

Potato peelings.

It's harder than it looks.

What occasion?

[woman moaning]

Hello? [woman moaning]

[music playing]

Carl, calm down!

Don't tell me what to fucking do!

Is it ready yet?

What have you done!

I am not answerable to you!

It's a very skilled job.

What, selling 99s and nougat wafers?

And the code.

You have to know the code, Frank.

Like what?

Like if someone asks for a Smartie, they want a pill.

If they ask for an M&M, they want a pill.

They ask for a Disprin--

They want a pill.

Yes, there's a pattern forming.

You're a one-man fucking Enigma machine, Shane.

Do you know that?

Make sure you follow the route.

I am well-acquainted with the ice cream van concept,

for fuck's sake.

Bye bye, Frank.

[farting]

[knock on door]

Take a message.

Listen, if this is about earlier on, I don't want to talk about,

Carrie.

You need help.

No, it's not.

I wanted to ask a personal favor.

Yeah, sure.

Anything.

I'm out of clean laundry.

I wondered if I could borrow a pair of boxers?

Yeah, top drawer over there.

[music playing]

I'll wash them and get them back to you

No, don't bother.

I'll wash them meself.

[music playing]

You have to do it, though, don't you?

Just dump your bags down there until I get your room sorted.

What's going on?

Lodger, tenner a night.

It's just until she finds somewhere more permanent.

This is you sorting it out, is it?

Bringing a drunken slapper into the house?

Fuck off, you skank.

I been clean two years.

Oh, whatever!

MANDY: Nice one!

Kelly, listen!

Fuck!

Sorry about this.

Out.

How pussy whipped are you?

Don't you think that's a tiny bit hypocritical considering

how your family earns its corn!

I'm not having that in my house!

What should I do?

Conjure money up for you out of thin air, shall I?

It's not for me.

It's for us.

It's for her!

Whatever, Mandy!

Whatever!

We need to sort this!

[music playing]

I'm hungry. She

She's coming here thinking she owns the place.

If weren't for her, everything'd be fine.

She's your mother, Carl.

Not her.

Norma.

She's spoiling it for everyone.

I fucking hate her.

I wish she'd just fuck off,

Oh, Jesus Christ, Carl!

Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself?

You're all the same, whining on and on and never doing nothing.

We've all got problems, you know!

[baby crying]

If Norma bothers you that much, grow a spine

and do something about it, instead

of sitting here crying to me!

[baby crying]

I weren't crying.

1.80, love.

And I'll have some of them M&Ms, son.

What, really?

Not supposed to at my age, but if you don't tell, I won't.

Whatever floats your boat.

How many did you want?

Three, four?

Give us a 10 bob bag and a bottle of ginger beer.

Wait your turn, you cheeky bastard.

And don't they teach you to say please where you come from?

All right.

Please will you stop being such a loser

and give us a 10 bob bag and a bottle of ginger beer?

You get nothing, you little ASBO twat.

I'll grab

[music playing]

Hey!

KID: Silly old sod!

Are you sure them are M&Ms?

What?

Yeah, M&Ms, Tic Tacks, Smarties, whatever.

Well, go on.

Bugger off, you coffin dodger.

3.90.

A little something from me to you, for our shared future

together.

Keep the change.

[music playing]

You'd hardly know there was any of you in her.

What's yours is mine.

What's mine's me own.

[laughter]

[laughs]

Need a word.

Yeah, in a minute.

Now!

Karen?

Give us a minute, will you?

I'll give you two if you're good.

KAREN: Fuck off.

What's going on?

That.

She's just trying to get a rise out of you.

Yeah?

Well, she succeed.

This is a threat.

Do you know what it says?

He says she's claiming the baby we've never even had,

the baby that we've never even talked about, for herself.

He says wherever we go, whatever we do,

the nasty bitch will be there because she

won't let anything come between her and her precious son.

Hey!

That nasty bitch is still my mother.

What?

What!

You can keep your fucking ring up your fucking ass!

It's going to be a very cold in Moss

Side before I go anywhere near a Maguire!

Karen?

[sobs]

I just got my ring back.

Happy?

What have I done?

I don't button up the back, mom.

If I have to choose between you and her,

there's no competition.

That's out of line.

No, you're out of line, and I've fucking had it with you!

That boy needs to learn which side his bread's buttered.

Who does that slag think she is, knocking back my my son?

[MUSIC - LOUIS ARMSTRONG, "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD"]

Here.

Make your day go with a swing.

Found it.

[laughing]

Here!

Go on, cheer up.

Here you go.

Party.

Let's party!

[laughing]

All right, Carl, love.

I was hoping to have a word.

You know, about what you saw before.

Wasn't what you might think.

You see, I've got these women's problems,

and, um, I just painted my nails.

So I asked Norma to help me, but she's quite short sighted,

so she had to get very close.

She just painted her nails as well,

so she was helping me out with here teeth and, um, you know.

Do I look like I were born yesterday?

[music playing]

All right, all right, kiddies.

Plenty for everybody.

I want one of them!

Here you go.

Right, one here for you.

Get out of the van!

Get out of the fucking van!

[crash]

Get out of the fucking van!

All right, all right.

Keep your hair on, Freddie fucking Flintoff.

You could at least have the decency to show some remorse.

Hey, don't get me started on remorse, mate.

I am full of fucking remorse.

Smart ass.

That's not him.

It was that van, but it were a different bloke.

Problem solved.

Case of mistaken identity, Holmes.

Happens all the time.

Shut the fuck up!

Give us the keys.

Oh, keys.

Opens the doors to a world of possibilities.

[music playing]

Pchoo!

Fancy that.

Brand no PSP, lads.

So, how much?

Just give us 80 quid.

Hello, Frank.

I thought you'd be still in casualty.

What?

Oh, shit.

I can explain, Shane.

Where's your injuries?

I thought they kick the living shit out of you.

What?

They were going to batter me.

How come they didn't batter you?

You what?

Oh, I get it.

Sent out the human fucking punch bag.

Where's the van?

It's gone.

What?

The wafers, the pop, the gobstoppers.

It's gone, all of it.

How could you lose the van!

[shouting]

Me mom's going to fucking kill me.

They were very unreasonable people.

I am going to die because you, you dickhead!

No, no.

I mean, you know, she might be a little upset,

but she's not going to lose two in the same year, is she?

I'm not going to fucking die. You are.

Is that the police station?

If you going get that fucking van back, you fucking knobhead!

That's enough, Shane!

Rrrrrgh!

[music playing]

Well, you could at least buy a traumatized man

a fucking drink.

I'm skint.

I was hoping to tap you.

What? Have we met?

No one move!

Fuck me, it's RoboCunt.

You moderate your language.

We've had a call about a disturbance.

Everyone just take it easy.

Get on the ground, all of you.

Oh, fuck off.

I've had enough for one day.

Do not leave the scene.

He was the one that got robbed.

Stay where you are.

What's he supposed to have done?

- Is that stolen property? - No.

Hey!

[buzzing]

Fucking hell!

What are you doing?

[buzzing]

Hey, that's enough.

Fuck's sake, that's it!

You're out of chances.

I'm making this official.

He was resisting arrest.

Yeah, that's because he didn't do anything.

Carrie!

This is still a stolen property.

Everybody makes mistakes.

[laughter]

What are you doing?

Fall in a canal, you'd come out with a fucking salmon,

you would.

[dogs barking]

[music playing]

Oi!

Turn the bloody light on!

[shouting and barking]

[music playing]

You little bastard.

Sleep well?

Get in the car, Karen.

No, I'm fine, thanks.

Get in the car.

[music playing]

Go.

(SINGING) And I can't take my eyes of you.

[knock on door]

Occupied.

Sorry, couldn't wait.

It's OK.

[tinkling]

You all right?

[tinkling]

It was a mistake.

Stan'll come around.

No he won't.

He's going to make an official report.

You'll be cited as a witness.

I need you to be on my side.

I don't want to get caught in the middle of something.

Got any soap in there?

We should be on each other's side, Tom.

[music playing]

I'll let you finish off.

It were an accident.

Customs checks the wagons come in the country, you know.

They don't check them going out.

I can head off right now and drop you in Baghdad.

No one would be any the wiser!

How long do you think you would last?

[music playing]

You better start talking or I get so pissed off,

I'll get me driving boots on.

Egg mayonnaise?

Respect other people's property, Carl!

Idiot.

Yes, siree.

Still there?

[chuckles]

It's the gift that keeps giving, baby.

Do you want to have a go?

Your cock may be the only thing on your mind,

but hard as it is to believe, Lip, it's

not the only thing on mine.

We're still out of nappies.

She's got a rash.

Your hard on going to fix that?

It's a misunderstanding.

We want you and Jamie to be happy together.

Call the wedding back on.

It's what everybody wants.

See, we're not like most families.

Most families can't communicate.

She's maybe a bit overenthusiastic at times,

but look, it seems a bit harsh to a report her.

You could illuminate Blackpool Pleasure Beach

with the amount of electricity she

pumped into that Gallagher lad.

I can't sign it.

I think she's got a crush on me. - What?

We had a moment in the bathroom earlier.

There's something between us.

So how come she came into my room flashing her muff,

looking to borrow me underwear?

She's making wankers out of the pair of us.

What's happened between you and Carl?

Shouldn't you be at school or something?

What did he see?

Look, I don't want to discuss this with you, Debbie.

It's all about you, isn't it?

What about him?

He's your son!

Oh, change the record.

I'm not an indentured servant.

No, you're not, but you are a spoiled bitch!

You want all the good stuff and none of the bad.

Well, there's a lot of bad regardless of how my stupid

brother wishes there wasn't.

[music playing]

Afternoon.

What do you want?

Could we have our van back, please?

No.

Hit him!

Fucking smack him one!

Which one of us is he talking to?

I don't think it really matters.

Dad, that's the bloke.

You couldn't shut up for two fucking minutes, could you?

I nearly had it!

You were going to run, you liar!

Hey!

Come here!

We're not so different, me and you, you know.

Yeah, people often mistake me for a mental black dyke.

All right, all right.

I mean, in regards to your mom.

How?

Well, we both want her to love us.

Yeah, well, you was loving her plenty last time I saw.

I'm not talking about sex.

I'm talking about love.

The difference is you've got it.

Why don't you fuck off, then?

Stop living in the backyard.

I've got no choice.

Do you know how humiliating it is

for me living outside your back door in a camper van?

That's love, mate.

[music playing]

[chatter and applause]

Taken a piss.

Happy days, Lip.

If that's you with a hard on, you're

going to be a very lonely man.

It's taped up.

Mandy must be well happy.

You'd think so.

Only thing she can think about is money.

How am I supposed to get a job with that?

Dry your eyes.

I kipped in a fucking bus shelter last night.

So how many times have you shot your load?

None of your business, you cheeky bastard.

I've got an idea.

I saw an advert in the newspaper.

Come here and I'll show you.

Jez?

You haven't seen Karen, have you?

Never show up for her shift.

And this is a final warning.

Against my better judgment, I might have

a solution to your problem.

Service.

Nothing was handed to us on a plate.

We struggled for what we've got.

That's why we're so close.

Family's important.

25 years married.

Not many can say that these days.

We don't sell gear outside schools.

We have a quiet word if anyone's getting too far behind what

the payments.

I buy "The Big Issue" off the junkie fucker

the dosses outside the arcade.

We don't understand your objection.

We're good people.

Really?

That's how you see yourselves?

Tell Jamie the wedding's back on!

You're having a laugh?

Why all the hostility?

Because you kidnapped me and tied me to a chair,

you fucking luna--

Fancy a pint?

Yeah.

Why does it have to be mom?

Hey, you don't choose who you fall in love with.

It just happens.

For me, Monica is--

oh, she's the one.

What's so special about her?

Oh man, she's so fragile.

You know, like a-- a little--

oh, I just want to protect her, save her.

Daft thing is she saved me.

How?

Well, I met her after I got out of prison.

Prison?

Why?

What did you do?

None of your business.

My self-destruct button was well and truly pressed.

Heading for an early grave, me.

But Monica, she gave me a--

a reason to be a better woman, so I could look after her.

So, Is that how you become a dyke, then?

Sorry.

I mean a lezzer, in prison.

What?

You think women's prisons are all like some B movies?

You know, spend all our days soaping up each others'

tits in the shower?

Well, yeah, that's pretty much what it's like.

No smoking in the house.

No eating in the bedroom.

No use of television during selected times.

I like me programs.

Shows between 8:00 and 8:30 AM only.

How the fuck did the Nuremberg Trials miss you?

40 pound a week in advance.

50 pound if you're claiming housing.

All right.

Hey, what's the idea, anyway?

Ice cream in a fucking van?

I mean, everyone had fucking freezers since the 19--

Can I have a pint?

You should be ashamed of yourself taking advantage

of an old widow like that.

PADDY: Where's my fucking van?

They, um, they took it.

They won't give it back to us.

What do you mean, us?

Frank offered to help.

It was him that lost it.

So much for fucking solidarity.

We told you to fix it, not find some other asshole

to do it for you.

No offense, Frank.

None taken.

We'll sort this out right now.

Ow! Fuck!

I think I'll leave you to it.

This is family business.

That's a very unlikely outcome,

don't you think, Frank?

Hey, you haven't seen Karen, have you?

No, son.

She never showed up for work today,

and she's not answering her mobile.

She'll come round.

She'll come around to what?

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

You want retribution for what my haflwit son did to your lad?

What do you mean?

How much retribution?

Is this enough?

Is that broke?

Yeah, just above the wrist.

I suppose a break deserves more.

Ah!

Fuck.

Is that enough?

Give him a couple for me.

Little bastard set me up.

More?

Uh, no, that's enough.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Good.

Keys.

Ta.

Fucking hell.

Dad?

Mom, are you in?

Fucking hell.

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

Jesus Christ.

What have they done to you?

[sobs]

Here you are.

Get these down you and let bygones and all that shite.

You know, if it's all the same,

I think I'll leave you to it.

You know, family bonding and all that.

Let's get something straight.

She doesn't want to be with me, and that's totally up to her.

It's her decision, and you'll respect that.

were only trying to get to know her.

You were bullying your way to get what you want.

That's enough.

I want you to know if it doesn't stop, I'm gone.

You're choosing her over the family?

They won't bother you again.

Jamie?

What's going on?

Don't ask.

[laughing] I come back, she's going to kill me.

And what's so important I had to come down here?

[laughter]

I haven't got time for this.

Stop.

This.

How did you--

did you go with somebody?

No.

Lip!

[laughs]

Sperm bank.

It was his idea.

We went to four.

50 quid a shot, three more tomorrow.

50 quid?

You ow me 250 after this morning.

I'll work it off.

[laughter]

[music playing]

Go on.

Thanks.

[knocks on door]

Mom?

[moaning]

Oh!

Oh, Gus!

What you want?

It's a birthday cake.

- Happy birthday! - Oh!

Oh!

[moaning]

[laughter]

Oh, shit.

It's all right.

Keep your hair on.

It's just a spot check.

Hey, get a grip on yourself.

Stop letting your personal life interfere with your work.

- I'm not. - What's so funny?

You're a Maguire, aren't you?

You should be thankful we're not making a formal complaint.

No need to overreact.

He could be damaged for life.

Still there?

He's bluffing.

For God's sake woman, have you no shame?

Feel free to let go of my boyfriend's cock anytime.

And we'll have his Playstation back soon as you're ready.

It's in the glove compartment.

I'll get it.

You can leave now.

Till next time.

[laughs]

Karen, don't.

This is going to be hard enough as it is.

What is?

You and me not getting married, being together.

After what you just done, do you think I can just walk away?

[music playing]

Looks like the wedding's back on.

We did it, sweetheart.

I'm fucking made up.

She's got no shame.

I had no idea, Lillian.

If you want her out, just say the word.

Why would I want her out?

Every time she has a gentleman caller around,

I get an extra fiver.

You keep getting the wrong end of the stick, Tom.

You had a pretty firm hold of it from where I was standing.

Don't be like that.

I need your help.

I'm sorry, I'm far too busy.

Please?

This doesn't change anything.

I'm still going to have to report you,

but it's good that we can separate the personal

from the professional.

I had in inkling, you know, when we first met.

I thought I saw you looking at me ass.

I've got quite a good ass-- good grief.

[door opens]

What's going on!

Are you two--

No, no, no.

It-- it was a moment of weakness.

How can you report someone you're sleeping with unless--

[gasps] Unless you're blackmailing her.

What?

Are you forcing her to sleep with you

so you won't report her?

No, no, no!

I never-- Carrie, tell him!

Look.

Forget about the report, OK?

We'll just start with a clean slate.

I don't know what I was thinking.

[laughs]

You've outdone yourself, Carl.

This is dead tasty.

It weren't really me.

It was Lillian and Carol.

Cheers, Carol.

Cheers.

Health.

Cheers.

Happy days.

Here we go.

FRANK: An occasion like this demands a toast.

In difficult times like these--

What difficult times?

Well, you know--

no, I've started, so I'll finish.

Our boys are abroad, fighting for democracy.

But you said they were all oil thieving bastards.

Yes, they are, but they're thieving the oil for us.

I mean, what are they going to use it for?

Fucking floodlit camel races.

Imperialism all over again.

Well, what's wrong with that?

The British empire civilized half the entire world.

It was a very beneficial arrangement.

Yeah, for us, maybe.

No, no, no.

For everybody.

The brotherhood of man.

(SINGING) Kisses for me.

Oh, those were the days.

No, that were Mary Hopkins. (SINGING)

Those were the days, my friend.

[everybody singing]

CARL (VOICEOVER): I'm not saying that the bloke

that wrote the poem was wrong.

Shelley and Lord Byron were supposed to be pretty smart,

so maybe it is possible for you parents

to fuck you up, but in a good way.

Maybe we're not normal.

So what?

[music playing]

Normal is the opposite to special,

and there's no doubting it the Gallaghers

are a special family.

[music playing]

Or is that special needs?

[music playing]