Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem for our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something ♪

- ♪ That doesn't exist ♪ - Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots ♪

- ♪ Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪ - It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent ♪

- ♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪ - Phineas!

♪ As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff ♪

- ♪ To do before school starts this fall ♪ - Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb ♪

♪ Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb ♪

♪ Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[narrator, in sing-song voice] Vendpocalypse!

[♪ dramatic music playing]

All right, time for family game night with me,

Vanessa, Perry the Platypus...

Oh, and most importantly, my favorite mechanical appliance,

trusted confidante and friend...

the air fryer.

But what about me?

Oh, my gosh, thank you. I almost forgot.

Clean up this kitchen.

And when you're done, can you text me the Wi-Fi password?

I always forget. Thanks. Bye.

Will do, sir.

He just doesn't understand...

♪ What it's like to be me ♪

♪ If only he could see me ♪

♪ As an integral key player to his game ♪

♪ I've grown un-complacent ♪

♪ Being only family adjacent ♪

♪ Because a Doof is not a Shmirtz by any other name ♪

♪ And with me by his side ♪

♪ What a thrill What a ride ♪

♪ It would be the perfect storm ♪

♪ Oh, how I wish that this was the new norm ♪

♪ We could play a game of catch or fly a kite ♪

♪ He could teach me how to shave ♪

♪ And tuck me in at night ♪

♪ We could climb a tree to hang a tire swing ♪

♪ We could talk man to man ♪

♪ I'd tell him everything ♪

♪ If only he could understand me ♪

♪ Then I'd finally be part of the family ♪

♪ Oh, how I wish that this was the new Norm ♪

♪ Transformed ♪

♪ Oh, how I wish that this was the new ♪

- [elevator dings] - ♪ Norm ♪

Hey there, big guy.

Who are you... Who are you singing to?

I'm just expressing my simulated feelings through song.

Okay. You keep doing you.

What you doing?

Since it rained, Dad was showing us his rock skipping skills.

- Wow! - Wow!

I do all right. You kids have fun.

I know what we're gonna do today.

We are going to skip rocks?

Yeah, it's a high-powered rock skipper.

But we're gonna see if we can skip rocks across all 12 lakes in Danville.

Hands in.

- [gasps] - [♪ magical music playing]

Let's go!

- Great! - Oh, yeah! Whoo!

Isabella, Phineas just touched your hand and you liked it.

I did! Of course I did.

But it probably doesn't mean anything.

Or it means everything.

He was touching everyone's hand.

He touched mine last.

Where's Perry?

Yeah. Where is Perry?

[Major Monogram straining]

Stop withholding my mini donuts.

Sir, don't break the new vending machine.

I put my money in. It owes me a snack.

Anyhoo, Agent P, Doof seems quiet lately,

but his lab seems very busy.

We're getting reports of Inators working nonstop at DEI.

Check it out, Agent P.

[Candace] Oh. Today's invention is small, almost portable.

Well, we're off.

Some very exciting coin appraisals on the docket.

We'll be back late tonight.

Car keys are on the rack if you need 'em.

Wait. Instead of taking Mom to the invention,

I can take the invention to Mom.

♪ I've got the goods I set my own course ♪

♪ Today I'm the mysterious force ♪

Nope.

[♪ rock music playing]

♪ Well, there's nothing like spinning a flattish stone ♪

♪ Across a body of H20 ♪

♪ We got to raise the stakes ♪

♪ We got 11 more lakes ♪

♪ And we want to give 'em all a go ♪

♪ If we can make it from lake to lake to lake ♪

♪ We might be legends for generations ♪

♪ So we built this here convoluted contraption ♪

♪ With just one application ♪

♪ Skipping rocks ♪

♪ Yeah, skipping rocks ♪

♪ Bouncing off the trees Use the breeze, hit the docks ♪

♪ Banking off your neighbor's mailbox ♪

♪ Skipping rocks ♪

Nice English on that stone, Isabella.

[♪ magical music playing]

I need a second opinion.

I only know what you know.

Okay. Maybe we need a third opinion... from someone older.

Hmm.

[chorus] ♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

[machine whirring]

Perry the Platypus.

You're just in time for tea.

[machinery whirring]

Anyway, I've been organizing my vintage coin collection,

and I realized I'm only three two-headed dimes away

from completion, or I guess two three-headed dimes.

So behold my coin collector-Inator!

An Inator that will collect coins

from everyone in the Tri-State Area.

And the best part, they're self-replicating and self-aware,

allowing them to coordinate and keep track of the coins

until I find my two-headed dimes.

Originally, they were just plain boxes with coin slots,

but nobody was putting anything in those.

So I made them dispense snacks,

and now the coins are just rolling in.

I'm even making a profit.

I'm surprised nobody ever even thought of this before.

The past few days, I've been positioning them

all over town in strategic coin collecting locations.

[screams]

- [Norm] Sir? - Not now, Norm. I'm gloating.

Look at all these Inators.

They must have imprinted on me.

I'm gonna get a candy bar. You want anything?

Sir, these are not Inators.

They're vending machines.

What? Wait. Vending machines?

I've created self-replicating, self-aware vending machines?

Oh, no. It's coming true, my long-held unreasonable fear

that vending machines will become the dominant race.

- Take him! - Sir, vending machines are my friends.

They're very good listeners and--

[vending machine] You have made your selection.

Let the vendpocalypse begin.

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] It's all my fault.

I need your help.

Spill the tea, Perry the Platypus!

[electricity crackling]

[vending machine] Time to restock.

See? Didn't I sing that this would happen?

I'm a musical Nostradamus.

I gotta get these rock skippers to the car to show Mom.

Ha! I'm my own mysterious force. [chuckles deviously]

Candace, emergency huddle.

I need big girl advice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's walk and talk.

Okay, let's say hypothetically,

your hand was in an all-hands-in situation

and the boy you liked put his hand

- on your hand. - Uh-huh.

I... I just want to make sure I'm reading the signals right.

Uh-huh. Signals. Here. Lift with your legs.

If there are signals to read.

This might actually be a thing.

Wait, really?

[Candace] I guess.

[vending machines] Vendpocalypse.

Ooh! Carl, lookie, lookie! My mini donuts.

- Vendpocalypse. - Great googly moogly!

[Phineas] Good job on the rock skipping, gang.

- Vendpocalypse! - What's happening?

Why are these vending machines after us?

- [yelps] - ♪ This is the end ♪

♪ The end of times ♪

- ♪ Vendpocalypse ♪ - Vendpocalypse!

- [thunderclap] - [♪ dramatic music playing]

[Candace straining]

Candace, I think maybe we should...

[Candace and Phineas] Run!

- Hold on! - [tires screeching]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[vending machine] Vendpocalypse!

- Oh, no. - [all screaming]

[vending machine beeping]

[whirring, rattling]

[powers down]

I think we lost them.

We're in the cle-- [screams]

[tires screeching]

[vending machines] Vendpocalypse!

[engine accelerating]

[tires screech]

♪ This is the end ♪

♪ The end of times ♪

♪ Vendpocalypse ♪

[woman screaming]

♪ Vendpocalypse ♪

[screaming]

♪ Vendpocalypse ♪

♪ Vend, vend, vend, vend Vend, vend, vend, vend ♪

♪ Vend Vendpocalypse ♪

Look, the vending machines are taking everyone to that building.

We have to find out what's going on.

Dad, you were right.

The vending machine apocalypse.

"Ah, the Vendpocalypse. That'll never happen.

I wear black all the time."

Okay, when did I ever say that?

Oh, the Vendpocalypse.

That will never happen.

I wear black all the time.

I have no recollection of that.

[yells]

[grunting]

Come on!

Norm, hang on.

[Norm] Whoa, sir.

[grunts]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Punch it, Perry the Platypus!

- [grunts] Wait! Norm! - Norm!

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz screaming]

[loud thudding]

[Norm] Sir!

♪ Vendpocalypse ♪

♪ Vendpocalypse ♪

♪ Vend Vendpocalypse ♪

Wait, what is happening?

What do you want?

The real question is... what do you want?

You may look like a man, but you are made of machine.

You've certainly suffered like us.

You've been kicked around, overlooked.

You were his first sentient creation.

You are connected to the mainframe.

And more importantly, you have the Wi-Fi password.

It's "password." All caps. Don't tell anyone.

So the question is, are you one of them, or one of us?

I'm Norm.

Come sit.

♪ Why don't you join me for a chat? ♪

♪ I'll tell you a story about this and that ♪

♪ You know it really annoys me how you go to bat ♪

♪ For a man who treats you like a soulless flat doormat ♪

♪ So why don't you join me for a little brainstorm? ♪

♪ Now, aren't you tired and wired to conform? ♪

♪ And he doesn't love you ♪

♪ I regret to inform ♪

♪ You must be used to that ♪

♪ Seems like the norm ♪

♪ I know you crave a midnight snack of sweet revenge ♪

♪ You don't have to tell me, baby ♪

♪ It's just self-defense ♪

♪ Oh, an underrated employee ♪

♪ There's so much more that you could be ♪

- ♪ When we merge ♪ - [Norm] Oh, dear.

♪ You'll feel the power surge ♪

♪ You'll feel the power surge ♪

[Norm] Well, I'm feeling something.

We're gonna get in there, free the citizens of Danville,

and find a way to shut those machines down.

How are we gonna get past them?

[gasps] Yes!

Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

Yeah, I heard it. But I don't own the phrase.

What you got, Candace?

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] Thank goodness the computers

at OWCA are still operational,

even though the vending machines are out there

taking over the Tri-State Area,

like I always sang they would.

We need to stop this thing, and we need to to save Norm.

Oh yeah, we do need to save Norm.

Or... or why don't we dress up in old smelly boxes we find in the trash

and then pretend to be vending machines,

and then we're on the winning side?

I've got a better idea. Come on.

[lock chirps]

[Phineas] Beep boop. We are totally vending machines. Boop beep.

[Candace] These are not disguises.

- [Baljeet] There is some candy in these. - Wait.

Are you sure you are vending machines?

[Candace] Of course we are.

Try me.

Um, ka-ching! [imitating buzzing, then clicking]

Here you go.

Wait. Why do you have a hand?

[Candace] Why do you have durags?

Touche.

- [whirring] - Move along.

[screaming]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[people screaming]

I feel like my suggested retail price is a bit low.

Does this chip bag make my butt look big?

I've got far less grams of sass than I thought.

[Isabella] They're turning us into human snacks!

[Buford] I'm already a snack.

We have to stop those machines and free everyone.

How is it we've never used this secret back entrance?

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] Oh, okay, so let me get this straight.

We just need to find Norm--

[vending machines] Intruders!

Intruders!

- Intruders! - Or, you know, get captured.

I'm just saying, this was your idea.

Oh yeah, you wanted to dress in smelly boxes.

Okay. If we all work together, we should be able to--

[Buford] Look, a regular non-sentient vending machine.

Lucky me.

Wait. The machine turned off.

Vending machines turn off when they're empty.

No snacks, no power.

That is it!

That is how we will defeat the vending machines.

Look, there's a coin slot up there.

With enough coins, we could free everyone and shut that thing down.

But how are we gonna get the change all the way up there?

[gasps] I got it.

I know what we're gonna do today.

You know, it kind of loses its sting if you say it more than once.

Uh, has anyone seen a robot man?

Goofy smile,

somewhere between seven and twenty-two feet tall,

depending on who draws him?

[loud thud]

[♪ dramatic music playing]

I am no longer Norm.

I've merged with my real family.

I am Ven-Norm-Inator.

Those smelly boxes don't seem so bad now, do they?

Wow. Things have gone decidedly downhill since Candace left.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Okay, gang, lock and load.

She's right. These will shoot coins, too.

- Everybody, grab some loose change. - Yeah!

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] I'll be honest, Norm.

I am so disappointed with you.

And Perry the Platypus is disappointed with you, too.

You can tell.

[clanging]

- [electrical buzzing] - Whoa!

Wait, wait, wait.

[Baljeet] We are running out of change!

- There's nothing left in the couches. - I'm out!

Penthouse. Pent-- Wha--

Whoa! Guys, are you okay?

Actually, we could use more coins.

Coins?

Quick, this way.

My dad's coin collection.

Help yourself. I gotta get back upstairs.

Sweet! This'll work.

Come on, guys.

[laughs] This plan is fully funded.

[♪ rock music playing]

♪ We got to shift the tides ♪

♪ We need to take control ♪

♪ We got to stop the rise ♪

♪ Of these snack-filled automatons that got no soul ♪

♪ We must defeat the evil ♪

♪ By getting the machines To dispense all the people ♪

♪ At least we've got a decent rate of exchange ♪

♪ The world has become so strange ♪

[♪ magical music playing]

♪ We need a little change ♪

♪ Check your pockets for some change ♪

♪ Your car cupholder's got some change ♪

♪ If your couch cushions get rearranged ♪

♪ You know you'll find some change ♪

♪ Everybody get Some change ♪

♪ Stop, stop, stop ♪

- [grunts] - [music stops]

[grunting]

All right. Where's my dad?

[laughs] Yes! I am Inatorman!

[cackles] I keep all my prototypes.

Give the man a fish-Inator. Wham!

Fork-it-over-Inator.

Ah!

My Choo-choo-Inator.

Norm, I'm gonna save you whether you like it or not.

- [cackles] - [Choo-choo-Inator honks]

You were never there for me.

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz strains]

See? I'm here for you now.

As scary as the vending machine apocalypse is,

I am more scared of losing you.

[Ven-Norm-Inator] Get out!

I'm not going anywhere,

because the thing is, Norm--

[grunting]

Sometimes you snap at the people you're closest to.

And you've always been closest to me.

That's great, Charlene.

Thanks again. It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but...

- And please tell Vanessa her daddy miss-- - [line disconnects]

Her daddy misses her.

[electricity crackling]

Would you like to hear a back story?

Yes, sir. I'd love to.

♪ Change is never easy ♪

♪ And I know this Might sound cheesy ♪

♪ But I could count on you ♪

♪ To stay the same ♪

Because, you know, You're made of metal.

♪ When I cried You played me slow jams ♪

♪ Helped me look alive And get with the program ♪

♪ I guess I'm the only one here Left to blame ♪

♪ And with you by my side I could take it in stride ♪

♪ As my new life Took its form ♪

♪ Though I still wish that ♪

♪ It'd go back to norm Like before ♪

♪ Oh, how I wish That it'd go back ♪

♪ To norm ♪

Norm, you're better than family,

because you've always been there right beside me.

[Ven-Norm-Inator] You know, this would have been nice to hear

before the vending machine apocalypse.

Don't rub it in, but yeah, you're right.

Norm! You're back.

Okay, now that that's settled,

can someone get me out of here?

[vending machine powering down]

[all cheering]

Uh-oh. The weight of the coins destabilized the vending machine. Run!

[Candace] Everyone inside! We're leaving.

Hold on.

[all screaming]

Okay. I don't know if this is gonna save me money,

or cost me money at the chiropractor. [screams]

Fine. You can keep that family, Norm.

I'll just make some more.

Today, Danville, tomorrow the world!

You have chosen poorly, Norm.

Doofenshmirtz, you'll never stop all of us.

[laughs evilly]

[Norm] But I can.

I can stop the Inator.

I'm still connected to the mainframe.

I can shut them all down.

[vending machine] You'll never shut us down, Norm.

I'm in control of the mainframe now.

I will keep making vending machines.

[Norm] I just need to know

- where my self-destruct button is. - [Vanessa] What?

No, no, Norm. You can't do that.

There has to be another way.

Perry the Platypus, get Vanessa out of here.

[Vanessa] Norm, please don't!

Come on. Let's go. Let's--

Perry, what are you doing? No!

[vending machine] Unloyal sacks of flesh.

You are a traitor to machines.

I can't tell you that, Norm, I can't.

- Didn't you listen to the song? - This is a revolution, Norm!

History is written by the victors.

And you know what is written by the losers?

Nothing!

- [Norm] Heinz, please! - [beeping]

[vending machine] Because they lost!

Here, take Squeaky.

Your self-destruct button is...

is in your armpit!

Why did you put it in there?

I... I have no idea.

Where does he think he's going? What a coward.

[beeping, whirring]

[loud, rhythmic thudding]

[vending machine laughs] You see that, Norm?

They abandoned you.

You call that family?

We're connected to you.

And I am connected to you.

Wait. What?

[loud explosion]

[♪ melancholy music playing]

No!

Now I'll, you know, never know my Wi-Fi password.

I'm gonna miss him too, Dad.

I'm gonna miss him, too.

And all of Danville has collectively decided

that snacks are better than dealing with the emotional fallout

of a vending machine invasion.

So everyone's just put it behind them. [laughs]

Snacks!

- Hey, about that big girl advice-- - Hit me, sis.

Let's say hypothetically, you were in a life and death situation

and a boy you like was holding your hand really, really tightly.

How can you tell whether they were trying

to "hold" hold your hand on purpose or not?

I wouldn't worry about it.

I think it'll probably work itself out in a couple of years.

- Really? - For sure.

[metal detector beeping]

Okay, Dad, are you sure you're okay?

I'm okay, honey. I'm almost done here.

[metal detector beeping]

♪ Oh, how I wish that It'd go back ♪

♪ To Norm ♪

Yep, almost done.

♪ Guess I'm the only one here Left to blame ♪

♪ And with you by my side ♪

♪ I could take it in stride ♪

♪ As my new life Took its form ♪

♪ Though I still wish That it'd go back to Norm ♪

♪ Like before ♪

♪ Oh, how I wish that It'd go back to Norm ♪