Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem for our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist ♪

- Hey! - ♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nanobots or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff ♪

♪ To do before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

Hello, Buford, I hear you are under the weather

and I have just the thing to cheer you up.

Ugh, not that lame sci-fi show you obsess over,

- Space Adventure. - It got me through hoof and mouth disease.

And I have already downloaded my favorite episode.

Hard pass! I'd rather wallow in misery.

Too bad. You are a captive audience and cannot leave.

Here goes!

[Mortinson] Diary of Captain Dirk Mortinson.

I am taking the USS Minotaur

into the evil Honey Badger Empire

to steal the plans of their latest space station,

the dreaded Spiky Ring.

Status report, Navigator, uh...

Cadet Sophia Sharkboard, Captain.

Right! Welcome aboard.

You've met everyone? Second in command,

the fierce and determined Lieutenant Zarna.

Nosh, the 17th best pilot in the galaxy.

- [screeches] - Oh, right, 19th.

And there's our security officer, Lamond,

master of the profound mystical arts of Schlufbaum's Luck.

- [grunting] - Nice to meet you, but this is a mistake.

I'm just an intern, I shouldn't be navigating--

Calm down, newb, you got decent grades and we need a navigator. Case closed.

Now, status report, Newbie Navigator.

Uh, we are approaching the Honey Badger home planet.

Deploy the Harmless Asteroid Camouflage.

We'll take a shuttle and sneak aboard the command station

where they keep their secret plans.

Nosh, Zarna, Lamond, you're with me.

BSL-4, you're in charge.

[mechanical whirring]

[shudders]

[whistling]

Okay, only one officer between us and the plans.

We've got to take him out quietly.

Zarna! [speaks alien language] Not again.

Three times since we snuck aboard is enough.

Plus I think you enjoy it a little too much.

I enjoy it just enough, thank you.

You have a problem. Lamond, try using those powers of yours to knock him out

- with something. - I don't think I can, sir.

[whispering] You can do it.

[humming]

[gasps] My stuff!

What the-- [grunts]

Thank goodness for my patented Mortinson chop.

I'm in. Accessing plans.

Captain, their first target is listed here.

It's... Earth.

Earth? Again?

Of all the planets in the galaxy, of which there are many,

why is always Earth?

Okay, we gotta get these plans to Space Fleet so they can find the weakness

and stop that spike. Let's go!

Hey! You janitors aren't supposed to be in here.

[scoffing] Go ahead.

Newbie Navigator, any time they've detected the Minotaur?

- None, sir. - Set a course for Earth, Nosh.

Oh, I just thought of something really cool

- We can do right now. - Not that!

Execute the galaxy-famous Mortinson Victory Fly-By.

[Honey Badgers exclaim]

[Mortinson on loudspeaker] We got your plans. Bite me, Honey Badgers.

[alarm blaring]

Wait, they got away undetected! Why would he do that?

Because it was cool.

[Mortinson] I think we lost the Honey Badgers. Mission accomplished.

Was that really necessary?

You're not still carrying on about the Mortinson Victory Fly-By, are you?

You know us Earth men, we gotta celebrate life's wins.

Lamond, can you sense if the Honey... Argh!

Hey! I thought we talked about you keeping those rocks on the bridge.

I'm sorry, sir, I'm still learning the ways of Schlufbaum's Luck.

Okay. See if you can use that Schlufbaum's Luck of yours

to detect the Honey Badgers' fleet out there.

- I will try, sir. [hums] - Why not use the ship's sensors?

Lieutenant Zarna, Schlufbaum's Luck is a power

that goes back to when the universe was young.

- We can't turn our backs on it. - [alarm beeping]

Already picking up the incoming Honey Badger fleet.

- Do you sense the Honey Badger fleet? - [groans softly] No.

Sensors read 20 Honey Badger ships...

I am sensing evil.

But the universe is a dangerous place, Captain.

- I kind of sense evil all the time. - ...now.

Sir, I'm sensing the Honey Badger fleet approaching.

Nice work, Lamond.

Captain Dirk Mortinson.

[whimpers]

- Lamond! - Sorry, sir.

He's not here in the room.

Commander Urgh, what can I do for you?

Captain! Your crazy maneuvers scared the dickens out of our techs.

I should blow your ship to bits.

But I'll cancel that and the spike launch

if you just apologize.

Commander Urgh, you don't apologize for doing something cool.

Mortinson, you fool, you have 49 seconds to reconsider apologizing

or we're blowing your ship to bits.

Not gonna happen.

Captain, couldn't we try firing all our space torpedoes

and take our chances escaping?

No, we could fire all our space torpedoes,

but their shielding is too strong and would only anger them.

Nosh! Did you fire all our space torpedoes at them?

Nosh, did you?

- [screeches] - It says here we have zero torpedoes left.

- [screeches] - No, Nosh,

I don't think we forgot to bring torpedoes on the mission.

That's what you get for firing on us, Captain.

Now prepare to be destroyed.

You may have 49 seconds to say goodbye to your crew.

Or maybe, you could just say sorry to these two

and we could forget the whole thing.

Not gonna happen.

We've got to get these plans to Earth.

Chief Engineer Hondu, engine status.

I'm doing what I can to repair them,

but that last sonic blast damaged our engines.

We won't outrun them.

Then we'll have to escape using a core so dangerous

the Honey Badger fleet wouldn't dare follow.

Newbie Navigator! Set course 23/49-23.

[all gasping]

But, Captain, that will take us through--

That's right, Newbie Navigator.

The giant space worms nebula.

Nosh, full engines, go!

The Honey Badgers are slowing down.

Captain, I'm counting a lot of giant space worms.

We are sure to be eaten.

If we hold this steady course, we might slide through unnoticed.

[all exclaiming]

Captain, can we use the laser cannons on it?

The outer layer of the worm is too strong.

The only things effective against them are space torpedoes!

[screeches]

Lamond, can you use your Schlufbaum's Luck telepathy

to tell the space worm we mean no harm?

I will try, sir. [straining]

Making... [strains] contact...

- Oops. - "Oops"?

Well, it might have heard me think that it should not eat the ship

because it's already too fat.

I'm so very sorry, Captain. I just...

Master, when will I learn to control my thoughts?

Lamond, I thought we talked about having space ghosts on my bridge.

We're gonna have to escape using a course so dangerous

the Honey Badger fleet and space worms wouldn't dare follow.

Newbie Navigator! Set course 23/42-27.

- [all gasping] - But, Captain,

that will take us straight through--

That's right, Newbie Navigator.

The giant razor crystal asteroids with volcanos nebula.

The Honey Badgers and space worms are slowing down, Captain.

Look, Captain!

[Lamond] It's some kind of hidden city.

My word! It's the Merlonian Ambush.

[screeches]

Nosh! No, no, no! Stop firing, stop!

"Ambush" is the Merlonian word for "hidden city."

The Merlonians are mostly harmless.

Captain, I'm reading 50 Merlonian warships powering up engines.

Mostly.

[screeches sadly]

For five minutes. Don't push your luck or it'll be ten.

I sure hope the Scorpion Collective doesn't learn of this.

- Why not, Captain? - They hate the Merlonians

and vowed to be the ones to destroy them.

If they even heard that we shot at them, it would be--

Picking up the entire Scorpion Collective fleet heading straight at us.

- How could they even-- - Better look at this, Captain.

[Mortinson reading message]

Nosh!

Okay. We're gonna have to plot a course so doubly insane dangerous

that none of them would dare follow us.

Newbie Navigator, new course. 47/54.11.

- [all gasping] - Uh, I'm not familiar with that course.

That's right, Newbie Navigator.

The Calarian Nebula of 17 suns and 14 black holes.

If we fly through at the precise course,

the immense gravitational forces should accelerate us beyond Lightspeed 12

and shoot us straight for Earth.

This is going to be a super-duper crazy maneuver.

Raise the Ultimate Control Stick.

You can tell it's a really good one because it has a light inside.

Gravitational forces going past Level 10!

- [all screaming] - This may have been a mistake!

- Woo-hoo! - Huzzah!

We're through, sir. Traveling at Lightspeed 22 on our way to Earth.

This is Captain Dirk Mortinson calling Lunar Landing Control.

- Request to land. - [man on radio] Let me guess.

- Coming in hot? - Comin' in hot.

Another successful mission.

Any sign of our pursuers?

What's left of the sensors say there's something big coming in.

[Mortinson] Looks like the gravitational pull of that last nebula

coalesced our pursuers into a... what would you call that shape?

[all] A giant spike.

[all gasping]

Okay, maybe the Mortinson Victory Fly-By wasn't a good idea.

♪ Space adventure... ♪

Wait a minute! What happened to that spikey thing?

What happened to the Earth?

All will be answered in the next episode.

Okay, okay. You're strong and cocky and dominating like Captain Dirk.

Just play the next one, please?

As you wish.

♪ Space Adventure is calling you ♪

♪ So put on your space face and make your way to the stars ♪

♪ On our space adventure ♪

♪ It's an adventure in space ♪