Original subtitles

Take your time and see.

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

You and I were always meant to be.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ

Watch the whole world stop in perfect place.

Whenever you are held in my embrace.

On this perfect day.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh.

You and I were meant to be together.

- What a relaxing day.

I could nap another 16 hours, easy.

- What else is new?

- I sure wish they left the doggy door open.

I'm getting stir crazy in here with you guys.

- Bagel, it's been an hour and a half.

Ya can't just kick back for a minute

and chill out with ya inner thoughts?

- Uh, inner thoughts?

- Nevermind.

- I really think you're missing out, Bagel.

You oughta try sprawling out

on the floor and napping awhile.

- Nah, I prefer sprawling out on the sofa.

- And why can't you do that, Bagel?

- Ha!

Don't be silly.

Everyone knows the sofa belongs to moi.

- Oh yeah?

Did ya buy it?

- Buy it?

Me?

That's ludicrous.

I save my money.

I don't spend.

- What exactly are ya saving up for anyway, Bella?

- That's none of your business, Alvin.

But if you must know, I'm saving for a trip.

- A trip?

This sounds fun.

A trip to where?

- It's private.

If I told you I'd have to, well, you know.

- I do?

Have I been there?

- I hope it's a one way ticket.

- You should be so lucky, Alvin.

- What did I tell you about that?

I don't wanna be called Alvin anymore.

- But Alvin's your name, Alvin.

What's wrong with Alvin?

- Oh, nothing's wrong with it.

- Then what you want us to call you?

- Call me Rich.

- Rich?

- It's my middle name, thank you very much.

- I could get used to that.

You look like a Rich.

- I don't believe this.

You can't just re-name yourself, Alvin!

You're a bird.

- As the alpha of this house, Bella,

I can do whatever I want.

- Alpha, you?

I've heard it all now.

Let's see what's on TV.

Do, do, do, do.

- You've gotta be kidding me.

Hey, it's the season of Pets, leave it on.

I love this show!

And look, they're showing dogs in cars.

- Oh joy!

Lemme guess, hang ya head out the passenger window,

slobber all over the car door, repeat.

Like that's a bad thing?

Do, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Oo, ah, oo, ah, oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Oo, ah, oo, ah, oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Oo ah, oo, ah, oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do, do.

Wa, pa, dop, do, do, do, oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do, do.

Oh wow.

Gosh, does that make me wanna take a car ride.

- I think that's a great idea, Bagel.

You do?

- Sure!

In fact, you could go play in traffic right now.

- Very funny, Alvin.

- Yeah, thanks a lot pal.

Thanks a lot.

I already told you the doggy door's shut.

Otherwise I'd already be out there.

- What did I tell ya, Bella?

These dogs ain't the brightest.

- Says the parrot who got in trouble

for eating the stuffing out of our couch when he was hungry.

- Says the dog who chewed up not one,

but four wooden couch legs.

- Touche.

- And you can't even say you were hungry

'cause your bowl's always full.

You were just bored.

- What can I say?

I'm a high energy breed.

- You know what they say.

High energy, low IQ.

- They?

I never heard that.

Who's this they?

- You know, the folks in the know.

- What folks in the know?

- The shot callers.

- Shot callers?

Yikes.

- Check it out you guys.

Who's hungry?

Yum.

Look at that.

Are they gonna show any

other animals on this pet show or just dogs?

- Oh, haven't you heard, Alvin?

Today's National Dog Day.

That's right.

It's an all-day marathon of man's best friend.

- Oh, wonderful.

Somebody help me break a window.

- Wow, that looks scrumptious, yum.

My mouth is watering.

- Your mouth is always watering, Bagel.

- What?

No it is not.

- No, he's right Bagel.

You're pretty much a non-stop drooling machine.

- Right?

Just look at those cushion stains.

It's gonna take more

than heavy duty fabric spray to lift those out.

- I can't help it if my salivary glands work.

- Over work is more like it.

- A muzzle'd help with that.

- A muzzle?

I'm not a horse.

- Well, maybe you need a change of pace.

- Right?

Switch things up.

See how the other half lives.

- Other half of what?

- He means step outside your comfort zone, Bagel.

Broaden your horizons.

Expand you consciousness.

Try some new things.

- I guess I could go bury this bone

in a different part of the yard.

How adventurous.

You rebel you.

- Looky here.

You can get some ideas from these dopes.

I mean dogs.

That's funny.

- Speak for yourself, Bella.

No, she's right, Bagel.

You ought to dress up like that sometime.

- Totally.

You could do tricks and we'd throw you some treats.

- Well, let's not get carried away, Bella.

I mean, what kinda treats we talkin' about here?

If it's seeds I want some.

Seeds?

Oo, yuck.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Oo, ah, oo, ah, oo.

Aye, aye.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Do-Ah, do-ah, do-ah, do-ah, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Whoo, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Do, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Da-Ah, do-ah, do-ah, do-ah, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Whoo.

You dogs sure are goofy.

- Takes a goof to know a goof.

- The dog's got a point, Alvin.

- Zip it, sandpaper tongue.

- Whatever.

I'll have you know cats

are the most popular house pets in the whole world.

More popular than dogs even.

- That's not true, Bella.

Fish are actually the most popular house pets in the world.

- Where does that leave birds?

- Fourth place.

- Oh, go scratch a post.

- Fine, Alvin.

We scratch posts to keep

our claws sharp and ready for battle.

- Well, la de da.

Go sniff some cat nip while you're at it.

- Ba!

Don't mind if I do.

- Hey, what's in that stuff anyhow?

Kitties all go crazy for cat nip.

- If you must know it's a mint.

- I know a group you could talk to if you want.

- I'm fine thanks, Alvin.

- First step's admitting you got a problem, Bella.

- I'm sorry, are you still talking?

Cats may be a more popular house pet than dogs

but we're watching dogs on TV, not cats or fish or birds.

So there.

Oo, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Oo, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ba, ba, boo, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Yeah, oo, ah.

Yeah.

Oo, ah.

Whoa.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Yeah

- I swear if I have to watch anymore dogs in costume,

I'm gonna lose my marbles.

- You have marbles?

Where?

I'll play.

- No, no.

Look, you jinxed us, Bella.

It's more dogs in costume.

Why me?

- Ask and you shall receive, Bella.

No!

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Yeah.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Yeah.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Yeah.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Whoa.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

Yeah.

Oo, ah.

Do, do, do, do.

- Well, that was funny.

Let's see what else is on.

- Yes please.

- Wait guys, wait!

Look what's up next.

- Oh no, no.

- Is that what I think it is?

- It is.

It's a, a.

Dog park.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

Oo, ah, do, do, do.

Oo, ah, do, do, do.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

- Oh yuck!

Dog parks are so gross.

I can practically smell them through the TV.

- So can I.

Isn't it great?

No!

- Oh, come on you guys, lighten up.

Live a little.

All you do all day long

is hang out on the couch talkin' smack.

- You say that like it's a bad thing.

- It is!

I think all this screen time

is getting us away from our instincts.

Away from what it means to be an animal.

- Away from dirty, smelly dog parks?

- Yes!

Good!

- You think all us dogs do all day

is play and bark and chase things?

- No, you mark your territory, too.

- Gross!

- Well, it's not true I tell ya.

Dogs do plenty.

And we do some cool, high-level stuff, too.

- What, like switching it up

and chasing your tails counterclockwise?

- No, Alvin.

Like managing careers.

Haven't you ever seen a dog work?

- You mean like burying your bones in the back yard?

- No, Bella.

Like joining the police force.

- Joining the police force?

To do what, track escaped fugitives?

- What a skill!

You can smell a crook's drawers from blocks away.

Somebody give this dog a badge.

- Whatever, check out these canine cops.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, whoa.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, whoa.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, whoa.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Well, what'd you guys think of that?

- Okay, okay.

That was pretty cool.

Talk about an action-packed job.

- It made me tired just watching it.

- Take a nap, Bella.

- Are you kidding?

She's a cat.

She's been napping since Wednesday.

Get up Bella, do something.

- What could be better than an afternoon nap?

- Oh, I don't know.

Go join the police academy?

Earn your badge?

Work the beat?

Catch bad guys?

- Sounds exhausting.

- Well, us dogs aren't just rough and tough.

We can be cuddly and affectionate too!

- Ha!

I'll believe it when I see it.

- Okay, you asked for it, Alvin.

Take a look at this next segment.

Dogs and babies.

- Oh, no.

Oh my goodness.

This is so cute!

Told ya!

What do you think, Alvin?

- I think cute makes me nauseous.

My tummy's doing flips.

I'm gonna be ill.

Breathe, buddy.

In through your nose, out through your beak.

Dogs enrich everyone's lives.

Watch and learn, Alvin.

Watch and learn.

Oh, ah, oh, ah, oh, oh, ah, yeah.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do.

Oh, ah, oh, ah, ah, yeah.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Do, ah, do, ah.

Do, ah, do, ah, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Whoo, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo, goo goo.

Do, do, do, do, do.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

Goo goo, goo goo.

- That was the cutest thing I've ever seen, Bagel!

Dogs can be so sweet!

- Thanks Bella.

We're pretty special pets, all right.

- Oh, for crying out loud.

You want someone to rub your belly, too?

- Is that an offer?

- No!

Look, can we just change the channel?

Please?

I've seen enough dogs for one day.

Heck, I've seen enough dogs for a year.

- Well, we might see even more dogs at year's end, Alvin.

I overheard our people talking

about a new puppy this Christmas!

- Really?

No kidding?

- No, no, no.

Tell me you're kidding, Bella.

Tell me that's a sick joke.

- 'Fraid not.

But hey, look at it this way.

We have the space.

We even have room on this sofa.

Why not?

- Why not?

I can think of lots of reasons why not.

Want me to list them?

- No, Alvin.

Like Bella said, we have the room in our house,

we just have to find the room in our hearts.

- What are you, writing sentimental greeting cards, now?

I don't believe this.

- Believe it, buddy.

And speaking of Christmas, check it out.

No, don't turn it up.

Don't turn it up.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Ah, this is like the worst day ever.

- Oh, come on, Alvin.

It's not so bad.

Stop being such a poo poo fuddy duddy.

- A poo poo fuddy duddy?

Define that, exactly.

- You know, a poo poo fuddy duddy.

A stick in the mud.

A bee in the bonnet.

A rock in the spoke.

- I think you both have cabin fever.

We need to open a window forthwith,

for a myriad of reasons.

Not the least of which, so I can get away from you two.

- Aw, take it easy, Alvin.

Besides, remember, it's National Dog Day!

Everyone's gonna be walking their best friends around town.

- Yikes!

Sounds like outside's the last place you wanna be, Alvin.

- Good point.

Draw the curtains.

We'll lay low till this nightmare's over.

- Hey, you guys wanna order a pizza?

- Eh, I could eat.

- Me too.

I'll make the call.

- No, I'll make the call.

They know me down at the pizza shop.

- They do?

How do they know you?

- Well, I call all the time.

- What do you mean, you call all the time?

- It's true, Alvin.

Bagel called in our last three pizza orders.

- How?

He's a dog.

I'm a bird.

Look at these claws.

I'm made to use the telephone.

Dogs don't have opposing thumbs.

Parrots do.

- You're learning all kinds of stuff today, buddy.

- I'd rather stay in the dark, if it's all the same to you.

- Oh, I know how to use the light switches too.

- And check these dogs out.

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

Oh, op, do, do, do.

Oh, op, do, do, do.

Oh, op, do, do, do.

Oh, op, do, do, do.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la

- I don't believe this.

Ha, next they're gonna show us something crazy.

Like, astronaut dogs in space, or something.

- Actually, during the 1950s and '60s,

the Soviet Space Program launched several dogs into orbit.

Their test flights were very successful.

And most made it back to Earth safely.

- See?

Dogs help advance science and technology.

And it helps mankind in so many other different ways.

- Oh, for crying out loud.

Why do I even try?

I can't win.

Give Bagel a biscuit, Bella.

It'll shut him up.

- Good idea.

Wait, before you get my treat,

see some of the options.

Wonderful.

- Get anchovies on my pizza, would you, Bagel?

- Anchovies, bleh.

Anchovies are gross.

- Meh, more for me.

- I wonder if our people know

what we get up to when they're not here.

- I'm pretty sure they saw

our empty Chinese food containers in the waste basket, once.

- Yeah, but they thought the neighbors

just ran out of bags and used our bin.

- Phew, good.

I hate to see them put call restrictions on the phone.

- Right, that would mean no more pay-per-views, either.

- We can't let that happen!

I love watching the fights.

- They probably just think we sleep when they're not home.

- Right, like good little pets.

Little do they know.

- Hey, as long as there's footage like this

for people to watch,

we'll be able to order our pizzas and pay-per-views

for a long, long time to come.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

I'm so sleepy.

- Why don't you help me crack one of these windows

and you can go outside?

Get some exercise?

- But, it's so comfy here on the sofa, Alvin.

Why don't we just wait here a while and see what happens?

- It looks like a nice day outside, Bella.

Maybe we could go down to the creek and splash in the water!

- Um, hello?

I'm a cat, Bagel.

I thought we already established this, today of all days.

I hate water.

Capiche?

- Capiche?

What is that?

A dessert?

I could go for some yummy carrot cake.

- Mm, and maybe a little banana cream pie,

while we're at it.

- We could take our desserts down to the creek

and bask in the sunshine while we.

- For the last time, Bagel, I hate the water.

- Note to self, full working faucets inside.

Garden hose, outside.

- Well, us dogs love the water.

- Bagel, would you mind not saying the I word?

I find it distasteful.

- You find love distasteful?

How?

- Not in and of itself.

Just the word.

- You're weird.

- Tomato, tomato.

- Oh, looky!

Dogs swimming, how fun.

Oh, great.

You know, it does look kind of fun.

Now, you'd love the creek, Alvin.

You could perch up high in a big, branchy tree,

while I frolic in the rippling current.

- And I can cat-nap right here in rare peace and quiet,

while you two maroons get swept downstream,

never to be heard from again.

- That sounds like kind of fun, actually.

Yeah, it kinda does!

- I wanna go get wet.

- I could fly to the kitchen and get your water bowl,

dump it over your head.

- And soak my sofa?

You better not dare, Alvin.

I'll have you for lunch!

- Oh, little lady, easy, easy.

We're friends here, 'member?

- Oh, I remember.

I remember you pulling all the stuffing out

of our couch cushions.

And I'll be darned if you're gonna do

any more damage to my sleeping spot!

- That's right, you tell him, Bella.

- If you wanna dump water over Bagel,

take him in the kitchen and do it.

- Good idea.

You lazy quadri-pets stink up the fabric anyway.

It only smells worse when it gets wet.

- Hey, what happened to us being friends here?

- Oh, I meant me and Bella.

- Yeah, you're okay though, Bagel.

For a dog.

- For a dog?

Well, I don't see either of you celebrating national

whatever-you-are day today, do I?

- That's because Parrot Day's not till May 31st.

And it's bigger than your National Dog Day

'cause it's World Parrot Day.

- And National Cat Day's on October 29th.

- Still smaller than World Parrot Day.

But, take heart.

As always, we're still friends.

- Whatever, Alvin.

We could go on like this all day long

if we don't find some way to occupy ourselves.

- Hey, look at these mutts.

How about a game of tug of war?

You guys like tug of war, right?

- Uh, dogs are so unrefined.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Ba, bop, bop, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop, bop.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do.

Do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, do, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do, do, wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Wa, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Do.

Woohoo!

Yeah, how fun was that?

- About as fun as getting my nails trimmed, Bagel.

- I'm sorry, did you say something?

I must've dozed off.

- Come on guys.

We might be stuck home alone today,

but we're three pretty fun pets.

It's not like we have to sit here,

twiddling our tails all day.

- I keep telling one of your to open a window.

- Except you both remember what happened

the last time our people left a window open, right?

- Oh, the power line incident.

- Hey now, I didn't see that power line.

You know that.

We've already been over this.

- Who doesn't see a string of power lines

on a suburban side street, Alvin?

- I was looking at the tree branches,

thank you very much.

Besides, what municipal workers in their right minds

run power lines through overgrown oak trees?

- Well it should be easy enough

to tell the difference between an oak tree

and a telephone pole.

- Telephone poles!

I love telephone poles!

They're my favorite thing to mark.

Besides fire hydrants.

- And the chair legs around our house.

- And the bed pillows.

- Okay, okay.

Stop busting my chops.

- But it's so easy.

- That's right.

Either we bust your chops or we take naps.

And dream about busting your chops.

- Sprinkles and Dave told me not to cohabitate with a cat.

I shoulda listened.

- It's not like you had a choice, buddy.

- There's always a choice.

I could a run away.

- Run away?

Don't be crazy.

And then what?

Animal control would've picked you up within the hour.

- I just think we need to get more exercise.

We're couped up all day.

But, we're energetic animals.

We need more physical stimulation.

You guys wanna play a game of catch

or hide-and-seek or something?

- In the house?

You know what kind of damage Alvin's big beak

can do to the wall?

- Forget the walls, what about my beak?

- What about it?

It should be strong enough to hit a wall or two.

- Oh, by that logic, your noggin should be strong enough

to hit a wall or two, too!

Why don't you run head long into that wall over there?

See how it feels?

- Why would I do that if I have four perfectly good paws

that can run me around objects, and not into them?

- Touche.

- You know what?

I don't need this harassment.

Somebody, I don't care who, help me open a window.

I'd rather hang on the roof than with you two.

- You're just stir crazy, Alvin.

You don't mean that.

- Heck if I don't.

I'm done with this couch life.

It's time to spread my wings and fly.

- Okay, I'll see if I can open the doggy door with my nose.

We can all get out through there.

- Bagel, you really thing I can fly through

that dog door flap

without knocking myself senseless?

Use your head, mutt.

- I do!

That's how I get out.

- A nice nap in the sun

sounds absolutely marvelous, darlings.

- Oh, there she goes with her uppity cat voice.

Now I gotta get out of this joint.

- Oh great.

Look what's on TV.

Pets is really rubbing it in.

You mutts get so much enjoyment

outta walking around, I just don't get it.

You should see what it feels like to fly.

Not me, I'm afraid of heights.

- Afraid of heights?

There's something the matter with you.

But, I thought cats

always landed on their feet, Bella.

- We do!

It's not the landing that bothers me.

It's the falling.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ooh, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ooh, op, yeah.

Ooh, op.

Woohoo!

Ooh, op.

Yeah, ooh, op, do, do, do.

Whoo, op, do, do, do.

Yeah, ooh, op, do, do, do.

Whoo, op, do, do, do.

Yeah, ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ooh, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Ooh.

- Okay, can we please change the channel now?

- Just take it easy, Alvin.

It's a good show.

- I'm a bird.

How am I supposed to relate?

I feel like my spirit and soul are being assaulted.

My very being is under attack.

- Whoah.

He's flipping out.

I've seen this before.

It doesn't end well.

- What can we do?

- Change the channel.

- But I love watching Pets!

- We don't have a choice, here, Bagel.

If we don't change that channel, Alvin's mind might snap!

- I think it may be too late for that, Bella.

- Bagel, you have to change the channel.

Quick, do it now!

- Can I check back during a commercial break?

- Bagel!

- Okay, okay.

I'll change it.

Oh no!

Another dog show?

It's puppies!

- Change it again!

Really?

Oh, but they're so cute.

- Say, Alvin.

How are you feeling?

- I'm all right.

How 'bout you, Bella?

- I'm okay.

- How did you, uh, how'd you like that puppy segment, Alvin?

- Oh, those puppies were the cutest.

They were?

- Yup!

I mean, come on.

Who can resist a litter of cute, cuddly puppies?

- Not me!

- I could take 'em or leave 'em, really.

All that yapping, blah, blah, blah.

I mean, totally cute.

Super cute.

I love puppies.

We all love puppies.

- You don't have to walk on eggshells, guys.

I feel better now.

You do?

- Completely.

Just a momentary lapse, is all.

Thanks for bearing with me.

- Phew!

Am I ever happy to hear that.

There's not much worse than being trapped inside

with a surly parrot.

But, being trapped with a surly,

delusional parrot does qualify.

- No doubt.

- I hear ya, guys.

Consider my attitude adjusted.

- Uh oh.

- I knew it.

All the dog programming warped Alvin's mind.

I told you, call me Rich.

- Quick!

Let's find a bird show.

- Good luck with that.

You're the pet that had to go and have

your national day today.

I bet dogs are gonna be on every channel all day long.

- Rat, I shoulda known.

It's one thing to coup Alvin, I mean Rich up with us,

but it's another to force him to watch

nothing but dog shows.

- They don't call them bird brains for nothing.

Our winged friends are fragile.

- Maybe we should turn off the TV.

- Hey, that's not a bad idea, Bagel.

Let's give it a try.

- Do you think it's working?

- I don't know, what do you think?

He seems calm.

- Yeah, it sure is quiet in here.

- Sure is.

Maybe we should play some music or something.

- Want me to sing a song?

- Um, no.

I've heard your caterwauling.

It's awful.

- What?

Great, look what you did.

- Me?

You're the one who started shouting.

- Did not!

- Did too!

- I'm gonna throw that chew bone of yours

through the window if he doesn't stop that barking!

Then he could just fly away.

- And how will we explain the broken window

when our people get home?

- We'll tell them the truth.

Alvin went bonkers and flew through the window,

sailing up, up and away!

Over the horizon and gone!

- And you think they'll believe it?

- Meh, I'd buy it.

He's always been a difficult parrot.

- Ain't that the truth.

Oh okay, you get the bone.

I'll hide under the couch.

- Hide under the couch?

Wimp.

- What?

I don't wanna be showered with broken glass, Bella.

- Hm, I see your point.

Where are the safety goggles?

- Safety goggles?

Wimp.

- Hey guys, who turned off the TV?

We're missing the show.

Uh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, whoa.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, whoa.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, whoa.

Oh, oh.

- Wow!

Dogs can be really helpful!

What amazing companion animals they are.

- Come again?

- He's completely cracked, Bagel.

He's gone 'round the twist.

- Okay, grab the bone.

Let's set him free.

- We can't turn him loose like this.

He won't be able to take care of himself.

- You don't think?

- Look at him.

- I see your point.

He's a little glassy-eyed.

Maybe he just needs some air.

- Alvin, would you like to go outside for some fresh air?

- Just as soon as Pets is over.

I learn so much from this show.

- See what I mean?

- This is terrible.

It's all my fault.

I'm the one who insisted on watching Pets.

Now my friend's

lost his marbles.

What are we gonna do?

- Wanna watch another episode?

- Why don't we take our minds off dogs for a while?

How 'bout a fun word game?

- Okay!

I love games.

- Me too!

Games like catch and Frisbee and tug-of-war.

And if you bust out the garden hose, forget about it!

- I was thinking more along the lines

of first letter, last letter.

- First letter, last letter?

What's that?

- If you throw it, I'm in!

- We don't throw it, we just talk.

- Talk?

We've been talking.

I'm sick of talking.

Especially to you to quads.

- Hey!

You hear that?

He's starting to sound like the Alvin

we know and love again!

- Yeah, let's play.

Maybe it'll enrage him enough

that he'll snap out of it and come to his senses.

- He does have a crazy bad temper.

Okay, how do we play?

- We start by choosing a category, like an object,

a food, an animal.

It could be whatever we want it to be.

- A tennis ball!

- Good one, Bagel.

- Okay, so tennis ball ends with an I.

So, the next player has to say an object

that starts with an I.

- Licorice.

- Nice!

You get the hang of it!

- Fun!

Your turn, Bella.

Starts with an H.

- Excuse me?

- Licorice starts with an H, go.

- Licorice does not start with an H, Bagel.

- What?

Sure it does.

L-I-C-K-O-R-I-S-H.

Licorice.

- Bella's right, Bagel.

Licorice ends with an E.

An E?

Where did you go to school?

What a goober.

- It's true, Bagel.

Licorice is spelled L-I-C-O-R-I-C-E.

- That spells lick-o-rice, you dummies.

And who has fun licking rice, for crying out loud?

Do we need to pick an easier game?

- If you're playing, then yeah, probably.

- Okay, let's try something else.

- How about a cracker toss?

Does Alvin want a cracker?

- Is that supposed to be funny?

Oh, I'm here to make you laugh.

Is that it?

- What, no!

- You want me to come down off this couch back, huh?

- What?

No Alvin, no!

- Hm, could a fooled me.

You gonna bark all day, little doggy?

Or you gonna bite?

- Come on, Alvin.

- I said don't call me Alvin!

- All right, you guys.

Let's settle down, why don't we?

- Tell it to the mutt, there.

I'm up here minding my own business.

And boom, he thinks I'm some kind of pushover.

- No, Alvin, I mean Rich.

I don't think you're a pushover at all.

- Well, you could a fooled me.

Them sounded like fighting words.

- Hey, look what's on TV!

Dog buddies!

Look at 'em being all friendly, and getting along.

- Let's change the channel.

Maybe find a hawk show.

You never seen those things hunt?

Wow, savages.

- Go with me here, Bagel.

- Oh, okay.

Wow, such nice dogs!

Isn't that right?

Well, I bet all animals could be as nice

and friendly as these pups.

- If you're into this kind of thing,

where's the action?

Where's the adventure?

Probably over on the hawk show.

I'll change the.

Bagel, stop!

- Gotcha.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.

La, la, la, la, la.

- See?

Dogs can be super friendly.

Incredible buddies!

- Yeah, so what's Bagel's excuse?

- Hey!

This sounds like the Alvin we know and love talking.

Uh, how you feeling, buddy?

- Don't say love around me, okay?

I got a sensitive stomach.

- He's back!

I never thought I'd be so happy to see this parrot.

- Thanks a lot, Bella.

Feeling's mutual.

- Hey!

This teaches us a good lesson, guys.

- Oh yeah?

Let me guess.

Birds are smarter than dogs.

- What?

No.

- Well, I mean, yeah, but.

- Hey!

- What?

- What happened to friendship and comradery?

- It's right here between us.

If you must know, us cats and you dogs

are some of the unlikeliest,

yet most loyal and steadfast allies

in the whole domesticated animal kingdom.

- Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Repeat that?

- She's saying the rift between cats and dogs is imaginary.

And that you guys get along great.

Probably because you're both a little goofy.

- Goofy?

Us?

- Yeah, right, us.

- I mean, Bagel I can see.

But me?

Come on.

I can't win.

- Nope, get used to it, pal.

- My point is cats and dogs

have been living together for centuries,

since the dawn of time.

We might have our own, unique behaviors,

but we've always been united.

We're different, but the same.

- Oh, I didn't know you felt that way, Bella.

I love you too.

- Whoah, dog.

I didn't say all that.

- Cool it with the I word, huh?

You're throwing it around today like it's a Frisbee.

I told ya, my tummy's delicate.

- Sorry, Alvin.

Hey Bella, look on TV.

You're right!

Dogs and cats together.

- Ah, my day just keeps getting better and better.

I'm telling ya.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh, whoa.

Oh, whoah, oh.

Oh, oh.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh, whoa.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh,

Oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Wow, that really warms the heart.

- Spins the head and flips the belly, too.

Oh, hang on.

False alarm, I'm fine.

- Now, Alvin.

I'm sure you parrots share a bond with another species

that you can't quite explain, but just feels right.

- I can't think of any, no.

- Oh, come on.

Not one?

You never picked berries with a sloth?

Shared nuts with a squirrel?

Blended fruit with a monkey?

- Hm, I broke into a ranger's station

with a sugar glider, once.

That was fun.

- You did?

Wow!

Why'd ya do it?

Were you lost?

Hungry?

Cold?

- None of the above.

We did it on a dare.

- A dare?

You committed larceny on a federal forest outpost

on a dare?

You could have been locked up for life!

- Larceny?

Nah, we didn't take nothing.

Although Randy did leave a little gift on the ranger's desk.

He didn't.

- Yeah, he did.

Oh, I wish I'd could have been a fly on the wall

that next morning.

Boy, I betcha that ranger's face was priceless.

- So, that's what you've got up to

for fun in the jungle, hey?

- Bird's gotta get his kicks, you know.

- I was friends with a bird once, when I was a puppy.

You were?

- You never told me you knew any other birds, Bagel.

- Yeah, this little cardinal used to hang out

at the bird feeder outside my pen at the kennel.

Slick was his name.

- That's an odd name for a cardinal.

Why'd they call him Slick?

- Oh, because he was kind of a pick-pocket

around the kennel.

- A pick-pocket?

Really?

- Yeah, he used to lift gum and keys

straight out of people's pockets.

Folks would come to see us kennel dogs,

and while they were petting us or making googly eyes

or feeding us treats,

Slick was lifting their wallets right out

of their back pockets.

- Sneaky.

- Totally.

- He sounds like a character, that bird.

What ever became of Slick?

- I don't know, he got the master keys

off the office wall one day,

and unlocked all the pens.

As soon as the gates swung open,

us dogs just took off running.

And never looked back.

- Jailbreak, cool.

- Some dogs got away,

but most of us were rounded up pretty quickly.

We were pretty well-fed and kinda lazy.

- Some things never change, I see.

- Hey!

- Anyway, that's how our people found and adopted me.

I was sniffling my way along the roadside one day

and up they pulled.

- Really?

They found you as a stray?

I never heard that before.

I always thought they adopted you from the shelter.

- Well we decided to keep it hush hush,

you know, for appearances sake.

- So, if it weren't for Slick the cardinal,

you wouldn't even be here.

And we'd never have met ya.

- Nope, isn't that wild?

- Yeah, I always knew those cardinals

were nothing but trouble.

- Thanks a lot, Alvin.

- Hey you guys!

Speaking of birds, look.

Whoah!

I know that bird.

That's my cousin, Buppy.

No way!

And that's my half brother, Tiny!

- I never knew Buppy hung out with dogs.

- And I never knew Tiny played with birds.

- Well, well, well.

Looks like you dogs and birds

have way more in common than you thought.

- Now, let's not get carried away, Bella.

I wouldn't say all that.

- Shh, I'm turning it up.

I wanna hear what they have to say.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Do, do, do, do, do, do.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, op, do, do, do.

Ooh, op.

- Amazing!

Who'da thunk my relatives and Alvin's relatives go way back?

We're like brothers!

- Brothers?

Easy mutt, easy.

Let's not go jumping to conclusions, all right?

I can't believe it you guys.

The day is finally, finally here.

- Whoah!

Sounds epic.

Are you talking about bring you pets to work day?

- Oh no, I can't go through that again.

Sitting on the edge of a 17-inch monitor

being ogled by every goofball in that office,

stuck under those hideous fluorescent lights

like a bug under glass.

Like some kind of captive zoo animal.

No way, never again.

- I thought the lights were pretty cool, Alvin.

Anywhere that squishy ball bounced

I was able to see it!

- That's 'cause you're a goober, Bagel.

You're even named after a hunk of bread

that's completely useless

unless you have cream cheese

or want to break a window or something.

- Hey, that's not cool, Alvin.

I still consider you a friend.

I mean, I never call you a squawky, feather brain, do I?

- And he totes could, Alvin.

- Me, a feather brain?

No way!

I'm a super cool bird.

Check out these colorful feathers.

Besides, I don't know any other parrots

who'd survive living with two silly quadropets like you two.

Blah, blah, blah.

You fur balls never stop yapping.

- Well, you're in for a nice surprise, Alvin.

Because as I was saying before you interrupted me,

starting this afternoon, it's cat week on TV.

- Cat week?

- Yup, cat week.

You know, like the popular gator week, snake week,

and bear week, but with cats.

And not only I'm gonna be sitting here, yapping.

But many more cats are going to be on TV

making all sorts of cat sounds

and be cool, in a general sorta cat way.

- Oh, cat week?

Awesome.

I can't wait.

- Hm, okay.

Now I'm thoroughly intrigued.

I watch you groom yourself 'round the clock, Bella.

And I have to say, it's rather fascinating.

You put so much care pampering yourself,

it's almost hypnotic.

Imagine watching that multiplied hundredfold.

That would be something else.

- I thought you didn't like cats, Alvin.

- Yeah, why the sudden change of opinion?

- Well, I was talking about you specifically, Bella.

- Hey!

Cat week, it's a whole 'nother thing.

Cat week is entertainment galore.

- Yeah, and next week, remember.

- Eh, not sure dogs is interesting to watch.

- What?

I'm kidding, Bagel.

I could watch dog week any day of the week too.

- All right you two, I'd like you guys

to please keep it down

so I can devote my full attention to these cats

being awesome, amazing, and super cool.

- All right, but I think you should tell that to Bagel.

He's the yappy one.

I'm always the picture of silence and meditativeness.

- Oh please, Alvin.

I know your friends at the pet shop

used to call you squawky Al.

- That was on the account my singing abilities.

- Oh please, ha, ha, ha.

From the sea to faraway lands

- I have sung to the gents.

- What?

- Shh, here we go.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Pets!

Join us for another episode

that will make you go aw, and oh, and wow!

It's Pets!

And it's on now.

Oh, I love pets!

- How 'bout that, Bagel?

Pretty cool, huh?

- Wow, that was cozy and personated.

I wish I could nap like that.

- Well, it's a technique.

It takes time and practice.

- I can imagine.

Being lazy is an art after all.

- Hey, cats are not lazy.

They just know how to relax.

- Really?

I thought cats were big ol' loafers.

- I don't know why I try.

I really don't.

I need to talk to our owners

about getting my own room with my own TV,

and separating me from you two.

- Hah, good luck with that, Bella.

We've been sharing this house for over a year,

since Bagel was adopted.

What makes you think they'll dedicate a whole bedroom

just to the family cat?

- Simple.

Because the family cat is moi.

I don't chew on the furniture

or litter the house with droppings.

I'm a quality animal.

Any home would consider itself lucky to have me.

- Hm, well I usually just try to pretend you're not there.

I'm pretty lucky when I can pull that trick off.

- That's funny, Alvin.

You'll have to teach my that trick sometime.

- Sure kid.

You got any crackers?

I do tricks for crackers.

- Crackers?

No, I don't have any crackers.

I'm a dog.

- Que sera, sera, my friend.

You wanna learn, you gotta pay the tuition.

- Don't listen to him, Bagel.

He cannot possibly be serious.

He loves being with us.

You can pretend all you want, Alvin.

I know you couldn't live without your pals.

- I?

Couldn't live without you?

Hah!

I'd say the opposite might be true.

You guys wouldn't know what to do without moi.

- Complaining about everything

and annoying everyone around you

doesn't make you essential, Alvin.

- Oh, and what about littering the sofa with droppings,

morning, noon, and night?

- Yeah, that too.

I don't appreciate that.

Just so yous know.

Oh my gosh, oh look at that!

- What you got, a mouse?

Is it a mouse?

Did it run under the couch?

- No!

On the TV!

It's kittens.

Ah!

Cute overload.

O-M-G.

Kittens are the best.

Kittens are almost as cute as puppies.

And I love puppies!

Wow, kittens are quite delightful.

Who would have thought?

- Aw, check out the little ones!

Wasn't that a nice video?

The point is, guys, that we're all in this together.

- When did you go all Kumbaya, Bella?

- I didn't.

I've just come to realize that all the time

we spend together, here in the house,

could be far better used without us bickering

and nagging one another.

- I don't know, I'm a pretty good bickerer.

- And you're not a bad nag, Bella.

- That's right.

I mean, if I absolutely had to be nagged by a cat,

I'd rather that cat be you.

- Gee, thanks you guys.

I don't know what to say.

- Hey, she's at a loss for words, go figure.

- Hah!

Bella speechless?

There's a first.

- Okay, okay.

I get it.

This is your way of showing friendship

and endearing yourselves.

- Huh?

- No, this is our way of busting your tail,

you fussy feline.

- That's right, you big goober.

- I love you guys too.

- Oh, come on.

What'd I say about using the I word?

You said not to use it.

- But the cat doesn't listen, as usually.

Blah, I think I'm gonna toss my cookies.

- Cookies?

You didn't say we had cookies.

Are there any left?

- No, it was a figure of speech, Bagel.

- Figure of speech?

Is that like a gingerbread man?

I'll try one.

Oh brother.

- Are they oatmeal?

Tell me they're oatmeal.

I love oatmeal cookies.

- I word!

Oops.

Sorry, Alvin.

- For the last time, mutt, call me Rich!

My bad, Rich.

Hey, I'll go pour the milk, you get the cookies!

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh, whoa.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Whoa, oh.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh, whoa.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Whoa, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh, whoa.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Whoa, oh.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh, whoa.

Hey.

Oh, whoa, oh.

Oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hey.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hey.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh