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1
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I can't...
2
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,129
It should be there. Hmm.
3
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,282
What? Oh.
4
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,846
Well... Well, this must be it.
5
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:01,931
Is there anything on my head?
6
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,926
Uh... Well, yes.
7
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,480
- Describe it.
- Well, you've sort of got antlers.
8
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,210
- Antlers?
- Yes. Antlers.
9
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,731
- Antlers!
- Mmm.
10
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,565
You are a time-space machine.
11
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,120
You're a vehicle.
I have never asked you to cheer me up
12
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,567
with hologramatic antlers!
13
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,642
Thank you.
14
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,324
- Can I help you?
- Yes, are you the surgeon?
15
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,845
- Close enough. Why?
- Well, you know.
16
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,161
- I don't know.
- There's a medical emergency.
17
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,409
Will there be singing?
18
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,480
No.
19
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,846
Fine, then.
20
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,803
We weren't sure
where you'd come down.
21
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,769
- Sorry?
- In your capsule.
22
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,844
Oh, I'm never sure.
I don't like being sure about things.
23
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,922
One minute you're sure, the next
everybody turns into lizards
24
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,411
and a piano falls on you.
25
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,171
- Piano?
- It's been a long day.
26
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,488
Are you expecting a surgeon?
27
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,729
So what's the medical emergency?
28
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,325
Didn't you read the agreement?
29
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,650
There it is.
30
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,926
- What?
- There, that's it.
31
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,930
That's what?
32
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,490
Oh, the flying saucer.
33
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,281
Is that new?
34
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,406
Come on.
35
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,131
Well, you took your time.
36
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,566
Sorry, ma'am.
37
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,121
This is him. This is the surgeon.
38
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,601
- Hello.
- You don't look much like your pictures.
39
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,530
- Well, that's an ongoing problem for me.
- Doesn't look very impressive, does he?
40
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,523
Nardole, what have you brought
to my doorstep?
41
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,250
I've had a haircut.
This is my best suit.
42
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,560
It's not even a suit.
43
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,647
- Do I know you?
- You most certainly do not.
44
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,405
And now that you've met me,
45
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,244
you'll do your very best to forget me.
46
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,561
- River!
- Oi!
47
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,449
Dr Song to you.
48
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,888
Sometimes Professor but mainly Doctor.
49
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,129
Don't use my name, ever!
50
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,521
How do you know me?
51
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,045
Well, it's a tiny bit complicated.
52
00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,770
People usually need a flow chart.
53
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,649
It doesn't matter.
54
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,643
If either of you use my name again,
55
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,371
I will remove your organs
in alphabetical order.
56
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,484
- Any questions?
- Which alphabet?
57
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,082
Sorry, you really didn't want
these questions, did you?
58
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,568
This way. We don't have a lot of time.
59
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,048
- What seems to be the problem?
- My husband.
60
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,086
Your husband?
61
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,487
Didn't you read my message?
My husband, yes.
62
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,529
My husband is dying.
63
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,291
Something wrong?
64
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,323
I think I'm going to need
a bigger flow chart.
65
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,728
Husband, I return to you.
66
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,006
Where is my queen?
67
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,888
Never far from you, my love.
68
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,251
No, wait.
69
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,567
- That's your husband?
- Listen,
70
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,483
you are being watched
by four billion people.
71
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,370
You are surrounded by warrior monks
with sentient laser swords,
72
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,444
genetically engineered anger problems
and not enough to do.
73
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,046
Best to stay still
and keep your hands by your sides.
74
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,202
No, wait.
75
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,289
- That's your husband?
- My husband,
76
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,647
your patient. King Hydroflax.
77
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,247
Yes. That's who
you're married to? Not...
78
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,209
- anybody else?
- My love.
79
00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,970
Attend me, woman.
80
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,405
I fly to you.
81
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,962
- Is there a problem?
- Right, so you don't recognise me, then?
82
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,371
Why would I recognise you?
83
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,566
Oh, no reason.
84
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,291
I don't like him. You like him?
85
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,086
Don't cross your arms.
86
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,811
He's a lying-down person.
I don't like lying-down people.
87
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,006
It's so untidy.
88
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,287
Keep your arms by your side,
like she said.
89
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,089
My one true love,
90
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,171
the only husband I will ever have.
91
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,130
My time with you has been too short.
92
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,329
You have given me days of adventure
93
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,004
- and many nights of passion.
- Oh...
94
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,681
Why do you keep crossing them?
95
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,046
Because they're cross.
I've got cross arms.
96
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,326
The end is near.
97
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,761
I feel it.
98
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,365
Oh, forgive me, my lord.
99
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,682
I have acted against your instructions.
100
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:45,807
MY love?
101
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,291
If you die this day,
102
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,523
this galaxy will drown in tears.
103
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,361
Look at them. Your people.
104
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,171
They watch and hope and pray.
105
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,325
With so much at stake,
I followed my heart.
106
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,482
I disobeyed your orders
107
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:07,968
and sent for the finest surgeon
in the galaxy!
108
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,364
This might be an alarming question
in the circumstance
109
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,326
but you really do think I'm a surgeon,
don't you?
110
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:33,926
Oh...
111
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,042
Okay, calm down.
Keep it together.
112
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,167
Don't make puddles.
113
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,401
Surgeon.
114
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,968
Attend your patient.
115
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,924
Any tiny hint of
what species he might be?
116
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,126
I don't know.
117
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,004
Okay, never mind, you just stay there.
118
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,522
You're probably going to need a mop.
119
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,646
Bow.
120
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,846
Sorry, what?
121
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,491
You are in the presence
of His Infinite Majesty,
122
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,289
King Hydroflax. You will bow.
123
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,442
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I can't do that.
124
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,846
You what?
125
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,081
- It's my back.
- Your back?
126
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,764
Yeah, my back's playing up.
127
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,406
It simply refuses to carry the weight
128
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,960
of an entirely pointless
stratum of society
129
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,407
who contribute nothing of worth
to the world
130
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,324
and crush the hopes and dreams
of working people.
131
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,687
Can you save me, surgeon?
132
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,131
Well, that depends upon
what's wrong with you.
133
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,561
- There's something in his brain.
- You could have fooled me.
134
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,048
Oh, oh, sorry.
135
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,961
Sorry. Just gallows humour.
136
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,203
- Probably the wrong word.
- Yeah, I would say it is.
137
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,601
My love, you must rest.
138
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,763
The surgeon and I
will discuss the procedure.
139
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,243
Prepare, master of my life,
140
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,729
to live anew.
141
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,209
Patience be with you all!
142
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,608
Our king will rise again.
143
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,411
Our king will rise again!
144
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,330
Our king will rise again!
145
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,086
Hydroflax! Hydroflax!
146
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,481
All right, enough of this. joke's over.
147
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,846
- What joke?
- Look at me.
148
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,046
Why?
149
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,009
- I'm the Doctor.
- You'd better be.
150
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,889
You've got an operation to perform.
151
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,201
Here's the entry wound,
just below the hairline, and...
152
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,810
there's the projectile.
153
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,368
Should've killed him straight off
but he's very strong.
154
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:35,846
That's not a bullet.
155
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,160
It's a diamond.
156
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,562
- How'd it get in there?
- At speed.
157
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,923
Do you recognise it?
158
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,090
- No!
- Yes.
159
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,362
- The Halassi Androvar?
- The very same.
160
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,768
Hydroflax was leading the raid
on the Halassi vaults.
161
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,724
In the ensuing firefight,
the whole thing blew up in his face,
162
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,964
with the result that he now has the
most valuable diamond in the universe
163
00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,604
lodged three inches
inside his enormous head.
164
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,129
So,
165
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,960
- can you remove it?
- It's very small.
166
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,970
Might be difficult to manoeuvre it.
167
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,804
Not the diamond.
168
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,126
His head.
169
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,083
- His head?
- Yes.
170
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,966
I think it would be easier just to
remove the whole thing, don't you?
171
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,929
- But wouldn't that kill him?
- Well, you're the medical expert,
172
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,764
but I'd say so, yes.
173
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,046
- Your husband?
- Sort of.
174
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,168
- "Sort of"?
- I basically married the diamond.
175
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,009
The Halassi want their diamond back,
176
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,003
- so they came to me.
- Why?
177
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,491
I'm an archaeologist.
178
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,005
Slash murderer, slash thief.
179
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,880
An archaeologist is just a thief,
with patience.
180
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,486
Never had much of that.
It'll fit in here, don't you think?
181
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,051
I've checked it for leaks.
182
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,526
Is this what you're like when I'm not...
183
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,840
Not what?
184
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,361
- You're talking about murdering someone.
- No, I'm not.
185
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,965
I'm actually murdering someone.
186
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,930
Cheer up, get a saw.
187
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,168
I'll kill the lights,
you kill the patient.
188
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,325
I employed you. You agreed to this.
189
00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,961
Do you not know who that man is?
190
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,170
King Hydroflax,
the Butcher of the Bone Meadows,
191
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,290
who ends his battles
by eating his enemies,
192
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,441
dead or alive!
193
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,567
The murder of a creature like that
194
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,244
wouldn't weigh very heavily
on my conscience,
195
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,401
even if I had one.
196
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,370
What's that face?
197
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,082
Are you thinking?
198
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,840
Stop it! You're a man. It looks weird.
199
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,200
I need more information.
200
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,210
- For what?
- For my diagnosis.
201
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,727
He's dying, we're about to steal
his head and scoop out his brains.
202
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,006
Aren't we over-thinking?
203
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,050
I'll be the judge of that.
I'm the Doctor.
204
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,769
You know who you remind me of?
205
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,928
Yes. Probably a chap with a big...
206
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,645
My second wife.
207
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,849
Darling!
208
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,731
You're up and about!
209
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,280
- False wife.
- How much better you're looking.
210
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,641
You planned to take my head.
211
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,080
Never crossed my mind.
212
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,243
- Is this your bag?
- Perhaps you should've just asked.
213
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,286
Well...
214
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,410
I wondered why we didn't
share a bathroom.
215
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,130
You married a cyborg
and didn't even know?
216
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,249
I will have you flogged and flayed
and burned.
217
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,041
I will crush every last remnant of you
from this universe.
218
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,128
How dare you? I'm your wife!
219
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,846
- You planned to murder me!
- Don't change the subject.
220
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,571
Why are you doing this? Who are you?
221
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,240
I'm Professor River Song.
222
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,250
You have an ancient artefact
of great value to good people
223
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,085
and whatever it takes,
I'm going to bring it home to them.
224
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,081
You have stolen so much from so many,
King Hydroflax,
225
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,050
and I'm the woman
who's going to steal it all back!
226
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,250
- What are you?
- I'm an archaeologist.
227
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,567
Look, I've got a trowel.
228
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,971
Do not harm her!
229
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,090
If you know what's good for you,
do not lay a finger on that woman.
230
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,930
Ignore him! Attack!
231
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,644
Garbage disposal, right?
232
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,051
Get ready to say "Whee!"
233
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,281
Put me down!
234
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,771
Back off from River Song.
235
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,684
Give the order now.
Get yourself under control.
236
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,924
Do not attack the female.
237
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,768
Nobody move or the head gets it!
238
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,649
- Do you really have a shooty trowel?
- It's sonic.
239
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,802
A sonic trowel. Do you realise
how ridiculous that sounds?
240
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,929
- The threats are empty. Destroy them!
- Negative.
241
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,401
78% chance of significant tissue damage.
242
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,970
Do as you're told!
243
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,964
Decision overruled.
Recommendation, chill.
244
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,405
Look at that,
your body's got a mind of its own.
245
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,881
More like an on board computer
for the cybernetic component.
246
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,367
Plus inbuilt flash drive
and vernacular-friendly interface.
247
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,488
- Cyber co-pilot.
- Mobile life support.
248
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,289
- Sexy.
- It's not sexy.
249
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,601
- It's a little bit sexy.
- Why is everything sexy now?
250
00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,966
Speaking of which...
251
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,441
Ramone, prep for emergency extraction.
Two to go.
252
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,682
- Standing by for teleport.
- Put it in the bag.
253
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,730
- I'm sorry?
- The head. Put it in the bag.
254
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,290
Do not put me in the bag!
255
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,807
Quickly, do it!
Ramone, 20 seconds to jump.
256
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,803
I will not be placed into a bag!
257
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,008
Stop shouting a minute
if you want to go face-up.
258
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,401
You will be crushed!
You will be destroyed!
259
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,041
- You will beg my infinite mercy!
- Oh, zip it.
260
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,801
Try to follow me
and I'll put him in a blender.
261
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,086
Ramone, now!
262
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,800
They will be tracked.
They will be found.
263
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,122
Ramone! Just once
can you get the height right?
264
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,168
- Sorry, Professor.
- When I escape, I will bring
265
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,242
- terror to you and your family!
- Home in on my signal.
266
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,402
- Have you located Damsel?
- I'm on it.
267
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,164
The capsule is really close.
268
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,608
Is something funny?
269
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,286
Who dares laugh at Hydroflax?
270
00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,091
You shall be crushed!
You shall scream in fear!
271
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,805
Let me out of this bag!
272
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,644
This is a serious mission
in a critical phase.
273
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,888
There is nothing to laugh about here.
274
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,530
We're being threatened by a bag!
275
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,967
Bya head in a bag!
276
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,965
I shall make dust of you.
My enemies are meat for the devouring.
277
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,169
I can't approve of any of this,
you know,
278
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,846
but I haven't laughed in a long time.
279
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,127
- Well, good for you.
- Prepare to die in agony
280
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,567
and submit to my supremacy.
281
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,290
Unzip this bag!
282
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,126
You know, don't you?
283
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,009
- Know what?
- Stop pretending.
284
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,320
You know who I am.
285
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,651
- Who are you?
- You know who I am. It's, it's,
286
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,450
- it's me!
- Great!
287
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,729
Who are you?
288
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,690
Professor Song!
289
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,683
Sorry, Professor.
Sorry about the height thing.
290
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,966
Prove it.
291
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,770
Doesn't it get dull after a while?
292
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,006
As an activity, it's not hugely varied,
is it?
293
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,484
I'm so sorry.
294
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,526
This is my husband Ramone.
295
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,681
Another one?
296
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,808
- Are you going to kill him, too?
- We're not actually married.
297
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,685
We are, in fact.
I wiped it from your memory.
298
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,325
- Why?
- Well, you were being annoying.
299
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,483
So the Damsel. Do we have a fix?
300
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,403
Found the capsule
just over in the village
301
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,845
but I can't locate Damsel.
302
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,411
- I've looked everywhere.
- Who's Damsel?
303
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,051
Have you been thorough? It's not easy,
you know, he does have 12 faces.
304
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,929
None of these men are here.
305
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,651
Are you sure it's one of these?
306
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,768
Yes, he only has these 12 faces.
307
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,645
He'll be around here somewhere.
308
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,651
This is the closest intersection
with the Doctor's timeline.
309
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,802
That's why I crashed
Hydroflax's ship here.
310
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,202
- "Damsel"!
- Code name Damsel in Distress.
311
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,409
Apparently, he needs a lot of rescuing.
312
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,007
What if he has a face
that you don't know about yet?
313
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,764
He has limits.
314
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,089
Well, then. Let's go find him.
315
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,086
You are in league
with the former queen?
316
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,364
She employed me.
I didn't really know anything.
317
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,245
- You have information.
- Oh, hardly anything, really.
318
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,641
A tiny bit.
319
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,370
You will give this information to us.
320
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,647
Oh, absolutely. Of course I will.
321
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,210
We will take the information.
322
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,727
Ask anything you like.
I'll even write it down for you.
323
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,126
That will not be necessary.
324
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,366
You will be uploaded.
325
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,729
We apologise for the inconvenience.
326
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,120
Uploaded?
327
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,123
- How?
- Recommendation,
328
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,730
hold still.
329
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,123
No, this is no good.
330
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,244
- I don't like this.
- Your cooperation is appreciated.
331
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,765
I never agreed!
332
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,804
No, this is unfair.
333
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,203
Pursuit now commences.
334
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,084
This is too tall!
335
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,764
I'm afraid of heights!
336
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,681
Recommendation, close your eyes.
337
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,491
What if we can't find him?
338
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,289
We need to get you off-world now.
339
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,010
"Off-world"? People never say that.
340
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,320
Are you new?
341
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,289
We can't hang around waiting.
He could be ages.
342
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,408
Yes, he's probably off
rebuilding a civilisation
343
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,482
or defeating giant robot fish...
344
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,925
- We'll just have to steal it.
- Battling insects
345
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,365
from the ninth dimension.
I'm sorry, what?
346
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,410
The Hopper is really close. We'd be
out of here in less than ten minutes.
347
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,131
I need time travel. I need this Tardis!
348
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,089
I'm sorry, the word "steal".
Somebody said "steal".
349
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,403
Yes, we are going to steal this box.
350
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,170
Hush, you wouldn't understand.
351
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,481
- You can't.
- Why can't I?
352
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,767
- You can't just steal a Tar... A box!
- Why not?
353
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,131
- Look, it says "Police".
- I have a key.
354
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,607
Okay.
355
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,402
This Damsel person, he sounds...
He sounds pretty dangerous. Ish.
356
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,966
It's a time machine.
357
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,926
I can take it, do whatever I want
for as long as I like
358
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,126
and pop it back a second later.
359
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,804
- He'll never know it was gone.
- Yes, he will.
360
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,927
How?
361
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,203
- He'll just know.
- Well, he's never noticed before.
362
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,564
Maybe he'll notice now.
363
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,281
I'll see you on Temple Beach.
364
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,802
I've already picked out your swimwear.
365
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,081
Okay, but be careful.
366
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,929
Absolutely not.
367
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,806
You, with me.
368
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,200
Bring the head.
369
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,005
Please, look after her for me.
370
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,607
Oh.
371
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,286
Before you come in, you'd better
prepare yourself for a shock.
372
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,810
It's not as snug as it looks.
373
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,606
Finally.
374
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,051
Finally?
375
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:41,641
It's my go.
376
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,883
Oh... my... God!
377
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,243
It's bigger...
378
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,364
- Uh, yes.
- ...on the inside...
379
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,800
- Look, we need to concentrate.
- ...than it is...
380
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,406
I know where you're going with this
but I need you to calm down.
381
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,720
...on the outside?
382
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,331
Well, you've certainly
grasped the essentials.
383
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,324
My entire understanding
of physical space
384
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,890
has been transformed!
385
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,322
Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry
has been torn up,
386
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,966
thrown in the air and snogged to death!
387
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,249
My grasp of the universal constants
388
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,120
of physical reality has been changed
389
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,326
forever.
390
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,369
Sorry. I've always wanted to
see that done properly.
391
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,647
Would you like a drink?
392
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,246
Aldeba ran brandy.
393
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,124
Help yourself. Don't tell Dad.
394
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,202
What's that noise?
395
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,767
It seems to have powered down.
Conserving batteries.
396
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,690
There's an inbuilt life-support system,
397
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,968
- I'm not sure what powers it but...
- Really don't care.
398
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,690
- What's that noise?
- I don't know.
399
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,250
Signal? Distress call?
400
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,606
- Homing beacon.
- Possibly.
401
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,727
So the rest of him is coming.
402
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,450
Well, he must be very cross.
He's lost his head.
403
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,364
Time we were off, then.
404
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,410
You're doing it wrong.
405
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,404
I am certainly not.
406
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,690
Not those levers.
407
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,206
Hush.
408
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,889
You probably want to press that button.
409
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,884
Why? That evacuates the waste tank
on deck seven.
410
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,601
- Does it?
- What is wrong with you?
411
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:15,966
Better avoid deck seven, then.
412
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,451
Something's interfering
with the engines,
413
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,602
which is technically not possible.
414
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,762
- Maybe.
- How would you know?
415
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,562
Maybe the engines are
interfering with themselves.
416
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,331
Wild theory, but what if this machine
had certain safeguards?
417
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,562
For instance, maybe it can't take off
418
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,531
when a life form registers as being both
inside and outside at the same time.
419
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,366
Head and body.
420
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,049
Which would mean, and again,
421
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,885
I'm just wildly theorising here,
422
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,129
that the door would not engage properly.
423
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,600
Of course.
424
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,603
It can't seal the real time envelope.
425
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,531
Hence, it can't take off.
426
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,208
Not when someone is in and out
at the same time.
427
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,482
I mean, that just wouldn't be
good manners, would it?
428
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,289
You're very quick.
429
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,170
Yes. For a doctor.
430
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,085
Yes.
431
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,726
Seriously?
432
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,051
Hello!
433
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,248
Hello. Is that you?
434
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,885
Nardole, is that you?
435
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,246
It's me, yes.
436
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,291
Please.
437
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,209
- You've got to help me.
- What's wrong?
438
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,811
Where are you?
439
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,771
In the alleyway.
440
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,321
Can't you see me?
441
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,765
Come a bit closer.
442
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:29,961
What are you doing there?
443
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,570
Help me!
444
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,731
- Are you injured?
- Well, uh...
445
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,410
Yes.
446
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,048
Sorry! So sorry!
447
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,044
- It made me.
- Nardole.
448
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,408
Why are you pointing a gun
at your own head?
449
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:47,641
It's not my head.
450
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,200
Well, it is my head.
451
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,327
But it's not my gun.
452
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,010
- What happened to you?
- Please.
453
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,923
Just do as it says.
454
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,288
It's signalling. We have to assume
the body is homing in on this.
455
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,726
- So how do we stop it?
- Well,
456
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,724
- we could chop its head off. Oh, look.
- Does sarcasm help?
457
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,245
Wouldn't it be a great universe
if it did?
458
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:09,001
So summing it up, it's coming, we can't
take off, we can't seal the doors.
459
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,445
- Yep.
- So...
460
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,730
We just kill the head, right?
461
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,882
- You can't shoot the head in the face!
- Why not?
462
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,281
Go on, then.
463
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:20,721
Tell him to put his hands up.
464
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,768
Do not fire if you value your lives.
465
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,841
Why? What are you going to do?
466
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,685
Kill me and my body will burn.
467
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,043
- Burn what?
- This world!
468
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,806
Enquiry. Are you acquainted
with the criminal River Song?
469
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,370
That wasn't me. That was him.
470
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,809
Repeat. Are you acquainted
with the criminal River Song?
471
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,649
Please. just answer it.
472
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,487
Yes.
473
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,047
You will take River Song a message.
474
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,570
What message?
475
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,529
Suppose we believe you. How?
476
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,365
My body contains
a split quantum actualiser.
477
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,921
A perpetually stabilised black hole.
That's your power source?
478
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,286
What sort of medical school
did you go to?
479
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,761
- A really good one for Doctors.
- More than a power source.
480
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,524
If necessary, a bomb.
481
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,170
So you could wipe out
this solar system?
482
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,288
- It wouldn't be the first.
- It would be your last.
483
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,408
A fitting end
for the glory of Hydroflax.
484
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,925
So why haven't you
threatened this before?
485
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,526
A king does not endanger his people
for no reason.
486
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,846
You're endangering them now.
487
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,365
I'm cross.
488
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,930
Dr Song, are you there?
489
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,522
- I have a message for you.
- Ramone! Get in here!
490
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,605
You're going to die!
491
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,525
- Kill her!
- No!
492
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,489
- Put her down!
- Kill her now!
493
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,921
- Deaz'h initiating.
- I'm so sorry.
494
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,444
I'm sorry! No!
495
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,284
Stop them! Stop them!
496
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,284
- Where are we going?
- Get the head!
497
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,165
- No!
- Stop them!
498
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,287
Death initiating.
499
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,090
- You set the coordinates. Where for?
- just get the damn head!
500
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,809
Kill them! Destroy them!
501
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,522
- Here!
- Kill them!
502
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,371
With me!
503
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,486
Where are we?
504
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,324
- This way, come on.
- What about the box?
505
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,970
Where are we going?
Stop holding my hand.
506
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,883
- People don't do that to me.
- Hush now!
507
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,883
And don't hush me.
I am not a hushing person.
508
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,801
We are
currently cruising at warp factor 72,
509
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,240
traversing the fourth galaxy
of our se van-galaxy cruise.
510
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,844
Next is the Andromeda Galaxy.
511
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,003
Supernova approaching now to starboard.
512
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,483
Ah, Dr Song!
513
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,364
Your table is ready.
514
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,805
Flemming!
515
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,201
How are the twins?
516
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,602
Still digesting their mother,
thank you for asking.
517
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,331
I'm sure it was a lovely ceremony.
518
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,811
Oh, there were tears.
519
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,570
And just a hint of screaming.
520
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,046
Uh, Flemming, I wonder,
521
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,323
could you deadlock seal
the baggage hold for me?
522
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,923
It's a little irregular.
The other passengers might want access.
523
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,526
Do you remember that time
I was transporting dragon eggs?
524
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,211
Consider it done.
525
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,931
- Is the gentleman here for dinner?
- Yes, he is.
526
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,571
Excellent. I'll have the chef
prepare him immediately.
527
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,687
No, you won't.
528
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,281
Uh, he will, in fact,
be joining me to eat.
529
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,683
I was about to suggest that
force-feeding might be required.
530
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,083
This way. Oh, may I take your bag?
531
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,049
Oh, no, no, no. That's fine, thanks.
532
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:53,721
Sorry.
533
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,206
That was my stomach.
534
00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,645
I have an irritable bowel.
535
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,563
My revenge will be merciless.
536
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,483
I will rip you open and devour you.
537
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:04,846
It's having a day.
538
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,490
You cannot escape!
539
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,481
This way.
540
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,688
Your actions
will not go unpunished.
541
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,930
- Here.
- Ow!
542
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,963
I don't suppose you mind
if I freshen up?
543
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,130
Not bad for 200, eh?
544
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,085
- 200?
- I have an augmented lifespan.
545
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,049
- Long story.
- So what's the occasion?
546
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,971
Ah, I've got the diamond.
Now it's time to sell it.
547
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,690
I thought you were returning it
to the Halassi?
548
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,843
Tell me. Were you born boring
or did you have to work at it?
549
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,565
Where did you find a buyer?
550
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,130
Look around you.
551
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,569
The Starship Harmony And Redemption.
552
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,768
Minimum ticket price
one billion credits
553
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,411
plus the provable murder
of multiple innocent life forms.
554
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,371
Suites are reserved for planet-burners.
555
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:48,686
Thank you.
556
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,604
Even the staff are required to have
557
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,490
a verifiable history
of indiscriminate slaughter.
558
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,810
This is where genocide comes
to kick back and relax.
559
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,046
Do try the fish.
560
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,890
Mr Flemming. There's an issue.
561
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,131
Why are you frowning?
562
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,447
- How did you know?
- It's audible.
563
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,883
Deadlock seals can be broken.
564
00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,691
By geniuses.
565
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,527
Hydroflax has a brain the size of a pea
and it's currently under the table.
566
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,241
He's gone back to sleep, I think.
567
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,367
You married him, though.
568
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,885
I told you. I married the diamond.
569
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,202
- How?
- I posed as his nurse.
570
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,169
- Took me a week.
- To fall in love?
571
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,484
It's the easiest lie
you can tell a man.
572
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,763
They'll automatically believe
any story they're the hero of.
573
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,771
River, there's, uh...
574
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,367
There's something
I should probably tell you.
575
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,521
Dr Song,
576
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,326
your guest has docked.
577
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,965
He should be with you
in a very few minutes.
578
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,849
Thank you. Whenever he's ready.
579
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:08,921
Of course.
580
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,641
What's the book?
581
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,329
Oh, it's my diary.
582
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,883
One should always have
something sensational
583
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:17,684
to read on a spaceship.
584
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:18,761
Is it sad?
585
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,085
Why would a diary be sad?
586
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,446
I don't know. It's just that
587
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:26,721
you look sad.
588
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,161
It's nearly full.
589
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,001
So?
590
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,565
The man who gave me this
591
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,368
was the sort of man who'd
know exactly how long a diary
592
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,244
you were going to need.
593
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,770
He sounds awful.
594
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,411
I suppose he is.
I've never really thought about it.
595
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,048
Not somebody special, then?
596
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,806
No.
597
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,807
But terribly useful every now and then.
598
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,727
Please, [just need you
to get me out of here.
599
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,321
He's in the main hold, sir.
But you've deadlocked it.
600
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,130
If you don't mind my observing, sir,
601
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,931
you do seem a little nervous.
Is someone threatening you?
602
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,363
- I'm the only one here.
- Confirmed, sir.
603
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,931
There's only one reading in the hold.
604
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,569
- I'm on my way.
- Be careful, sir.
605
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,446
Don't worry. I'll just stick
my head round the door.
606
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,250
So who is this buyer?
607
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,081
No idea.
He just responded to the advert.
608
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:43,920
Which of you is Song?
609
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:45,770
Who wants to know?
610
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,207
- I am Scratch.
- Don't need your name.
611
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,645
Are you empowered to purchase?
612
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,121
I represent the shoal
of the Winter Harmony.
613
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,440
Don't care, don't want to know.
614
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,329
I'll need immediate payment.
Can you do that?
615
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:59,047
And you could either just sit down
or fetch us the wine list or something?
616
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:05,721
You have the diamond?
617
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,121
Of course I have the diamond.
Show me the money.
618
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,211
Just a thought, you probably
shouldn't do that in a restaurant.
619
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,205
Once instructed,
620
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,643
this will transfer the necessary funds
to whatever account you choose.
621
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,721
Thank you.
622
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,521
The diamond.
623
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,285
You're going to have
to dig for it a bit,
624
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,364
but somehow I don't think
that's going to be a problem for you.
625
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,244
- Is this a deception?
- No.
626
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,091
The diamond is in there.
627
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,288
This is a public place,
there won't be any tricks.
628
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,761
This is not a public place.
629
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:14,646
Block-booking. That's clever.
630
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,848
You needn't have bothered.
I've brought what you want.
631
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,487
Please do assume
that I have also taken precautions
632
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,166
and don't do anything that might
make me cross and kill you.
633
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,727
Statement accepted.
634
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,370
The diamond is here.
635
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,606
The payment, then.
636
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,408
One hundred billion credits.
637
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,691
As we agreed. This accesses
all the banks in the galaxy.
638
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,966
Thank you.
639
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,124
Here you go, then.
You may need to use a spoon
640
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,044
- or knitting needle or something...
- Be it known,
641
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,044
we do not do this for ourselves.
642
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,600
- I really don't care.
- We do it in honour
643
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,728
of our distant and loving king,
644
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,204
who once visited our world
in blood and joy.
645
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,482
- Well, isn't that lovely.
- We honour thee.
646
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,241
We prostrate ourselves in your name,
647
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,331
- Hyd roflax.
- Hyd roflax.
648
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,450
For love of thee,
we do this thing today.
649
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,361
Hydroflax.
650
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,447
Give it.
651
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,291
Give us the treasure.
652
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,129
What is wrong?
653
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,130
Uh, well, uh...
654
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:28,726
Awkward.
655
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,451
I beg of you.
656
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,807
- Not my head.
- Information is required.
657
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,928
You know of River Song,
wife of Hydroflax?
658
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,564
I... I do.
659
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,722
I know River Song of old.
660
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,804
And if you spare me,
661
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,882
I'll tell you
who she's really married to.
662
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,088
- Explain.
- You need a head.
663
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,884
I can get you a head fit for a king.
664
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,244
Why do you delay? We have paid.
We will receive.
665
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,965
Yes, you will.
666
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,362
By jingle, you will.
Yes, of course. But obviously
667
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,768
we have to, you know, uh,
668
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,371
- check some...
- Things.
669
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,603
...things. There are things that have
to be checked before I get it to you.
670
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,325
If we don't check the thing,
671
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,641
- then they...
- We will receive.
672
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,326
Yes, you will receive,
673
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,442
and here it is now.
674
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,246
On its way...
675
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,324
- This small...
- We will receive.
676
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,481
Here you go.
677
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,528
And you can...
You can have the bag as well.
678
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,122
You know, it's been lovely
679
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,849
but, uh, we don't want
to intrude on this special moment.
680
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,322
So, why don't we just leave you
with the new baby?
681
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,811
You will remain.
682
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,450
Is that strictly necessary?
683
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,609
I do not like surprises.
684
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:45,807
Yeah.
685
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,889
Well, it's going to
be a funny old day.
686
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:51,967
Oh, boy.
687
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,010
You know what? I just can't stand
idly by and let this continue.
688
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,811
Death has been done this day!
689
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,482
Noble blood has been spilled
690
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,564
and our tears will surely follow.
691
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,246
The sky shall crack.
692
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,721
The ground shall heave.
693
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,725
And even the rocks and the stones
694
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,246
shall weep their rage.
695
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,530
Behold the head
696
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,650
of Hydroflax.
697
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,282
Rest now, sweet prince.
698
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,971
Walk amongst us nevermore.
699
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,525
Shall we start the bidding
at 200 billion?
700
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,931
I'm sorry, Professor Song,
701
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,606
but we really couldn't keep
this treasure from the truly devout.
702
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,650
Oh, my apologies to the truly devout.
703
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:48,802
And shall we find out
who is the most truly devout?
704
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,167
- This is heresy.
- Two hundred over there!
705
00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:53,004
Two hundred and fifty billion
by the sweet trolley!
706
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,123
Silence! This is not our way.
707
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,884
Well, it doesn't
say much for your king
708
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,200
if you can't put a price on his head.
709
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,408
Let's see what the king
himself has to say.
710
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,127
Quick!
711
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,441
Professor Song,
712
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,330
has the food disappointed you?
713
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,284
At last. I am whole again.
714
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,364
Come to me, my body!
715
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,085
Well? Put me back.
716
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,446
Scan in progress.
717
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,601
You don't need to scan me,
just put me back.
718
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,607
Tissue deterioration now irreversible.
719
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,006
Well, what are you
going to do about that?
720
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,402
Additional. The projectile inside
your brain continues to move.
721
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,881
Prognosis, death in seven minutes.
722
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,121
Well, I refuse.
723
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,608
King Hydroflax does not accept death.
724
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,845
Orders requested.
725
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,651
Whatever I need to survive, do it now!
726
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,610
Orders accepted. You need a new head.
727
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,728
No, no!
728
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,967
- Not a new head.
- orders implementing.
729
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,486
No! No!
730
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,766
I don't suppose you could fetch
that over for me, could you?
731
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,049
As I was saying, Your Majesty...
732
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,411
Well, Your Remaining Majesty.
733
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,805
If it's a new head you're after,
734
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,281
this is the guide to the very best.
735
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,044
Don't touch that! Give that back to me.
736
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,122
The diary of River Song.
737
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,648
The ultimate guide
to the Time Lord known as the Doctor.
738
00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,245
Don't you dare touch that!
739
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,449
Long live the king.
740
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,603
"The Pandorica opens."
741
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,848
Ooh! That sounds exciting.
742
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,087
And goodness me, a picnic at Asgard.
743
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,880
Some people really know how to snack,
don't they?
744
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,931
You should know, I have
a significant history of escaping.
745
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:06,845
"The crash of the Byzantium."
746
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,770
Didn't they make a movie of that?
747
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,281
- And when I do, I'm going to kill you.
- Oh!
748
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,445
"Jim the Fish."
Well, we all know Jim the Fish.
749
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,286
And the longer you spend reading
my diary, the longer I'm going to take.
750
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,125
And you've just been to Manhattan.
751
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,325
- What planet is that?
- So do please keep going.
752
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,486
This is irrelevant.
753
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,722
If I may intrude, Your Majesty.
754
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,602
The Doctor is a legendary
being of remarkable power
755
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,928
and an infinite number of faces.
756
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:40,402
His head, I assure you,
757
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,804
would be your crowning achievement.
758
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,128
Besides which, uh,
759
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:46,845
many of us on this ship
760
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:51,289
would be happy to see his career
cut off, as it were, at the neck.
761
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,727
Proceed faster
or your head will be taken.
762
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,928
I would give my head with gladness.
763
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,371
This woman is
the known consort of the Doctor.
764
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,687
Confirmation required. Uploading.
765
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,326
Ooh!
766
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:07,641
Ooh!
767
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:11,247
Is River Song the consort
of the Time Lora' known as the Doctor?
768
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,367
Huh?
769
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,644
I think so, yeah.
770
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:18,122
Here, can I stay up for a bit?
It's really very whiffy down there.
771
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,290
Aw!
772
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,326
- Aw, it's awful.
- So!
773
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,086
Where is the Doctor now?
774
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,691
I haven't the faintest idea.
775
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,081
- Is that credible?
- It's true.
776
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,882
- You're the woman he loves.
- No, I'm not.
777
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,121
She's lying.
778
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,443
The Doctor does not
and has never loved me.
779
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:40,647
I'm not lying.
780
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,807
Confirmed. The life form is not lying.
781
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,047
Impossible.
782
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,929
- This is a trick.
- No, it isn't.
783
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,687
My information is correct.
784
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,602
- You are the woman who loves the Doctor.
- Yes, I am. I've never denied it.
785
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:59,801
But who ever said he loved me back?
He's the Doctor.
786
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:03,043
He doesn't go around
falling in love with people.
787
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,841
And if you think he's anything
that small or that ordinary,
788
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,606
then you haven't the first idea
of what you're dealing with.
789
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,889
Your Majesty, I assure you
she is the perfect bait.
790
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,970
When this woman is in danger,
the Doctor will always come.
791
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,327
Oh, you are a moron!
792
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,481
No, he won't!
793
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,847
- He's probably already here!
- No, he isn't. Of course he isn't.
794
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,365
Possibly on this ship.
795
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,204
Well, go on. Scan it, then.
796
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,284
- Go on, why don't you?
- River...
797
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,249
Two hearts, stupid clothes,
798
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:32,481
- you can't miss him.
- River...
799
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,246
Go on! Scan the whole parsec.
He's not here.
800
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,369
God knows where he is right now
801
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,046
but I promise you,
he's doing whatever the hell he wants
802
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,088
and not giving a damn about me!
803
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,208
- And I'm just fine with that.
- River...
804
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,443
When you love the Doctor,
it's like loving the stars themselves.
805
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,364
You don't expect a sunset
to admire you back.
806
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,488
And if I happen to
find myself in danger,
807
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,643
let me tell you,
the Doctor is not stupid enough
808
00:39:56,720 --> 00:39:58,370
or sentimental enough
809
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,920
and he is certainly not in love enough
810
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,049
to find himself standing in it with me!
811
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,170
Hello, sweetie.
812
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,688
You are so doing those roots.
813
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,842
- What, the roots of the sunset?
- Don't you dare.
814
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,809
I'll have to check with
the stars themselves.
815
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,006
Oh, shut up.
816
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,242
I was just keeping them
talking till it kicks off.
817
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,045
What is this conversation? Explain.
818
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,406
You keep out of this.
819
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,608
- We need to get to work.
- Okay, what have you got?
820
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,170
Four exits, two concealed,
one in the ceiling.
821
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:44,242
- There's also one in the floor.
- No, I don't like it.
822
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,163
- Too close to the engine ducts?
- Bit too tight.
823
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:47,890
Oh, I hope you're not being personal.
824
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,645
- Excuse me, what are you talking about?
- Hush! Mummy and Daddy are busy.
825
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:54,042
There we are.
2:00.
826
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,771
- Here we go.
- Cease this conversation.
827
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,525
Darling, in the event of a sudden meteor
strike on the lower starboard decks,
828
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,443
where would you say
is the safest place to stand?
829
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,409
- Meteor strike?
- Exactly here, I should think.
830
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,608
Do you know what that isn't?
A coincidence.
831
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,808
- Your escape plan.
- It's cheaper than a taxi.
832
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,530
What meteor strike?
833
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,206
Alert. Meteor storm imminent'.
834
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,410
- That meteor strike.
- Alert.
835
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,484
- How could you know?
- I'm an archaeologist from the future.
836
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,610
I dug you up.
837
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,126
Well...
838
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,684
See you in 400 years!
839
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,443
I had this book,
History's Finest Exploding Restaurants.
840
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:37,806
"The best food for free,
841
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,450
- "skip the coffee."
- What do you think, by the way?
842
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,249
- Of what?
- The new body.
843
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,687
I'll let you know.
I've only seen the face.
844
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,331
How have you got a new one, by the way?
Aren't there rules?
845
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,085
- A thing happened.
- I bet it probably did.
846
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,885
- Oh!
- Starboard decks compromised.
847
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,570
Please abandon ship.
848
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,165
The diamond.
849
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,367
Good, aren't I?
850
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,965
- Please abandon ship.
- I'm not sure "good" is the word.
851
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,280
Better not be.
852
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,127
We need to get this ship stabilised.
Where's the bridge?
853
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,850
- This way.
- Please abandon ship.
854
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,124
We also need to stop that.
855
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,361
Toss for it?
856
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,086
- I'll take the robot. You drive.
- Okay.
857
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,685
Oh, don't stop for strangers.
858
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,246
Look who's talking.
859
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,124
- What's the point? It's over.
- I will take your head.
860
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,201
What for?
861
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,324
We're on a crashing spaceship
and I don't even know if I can save it.
862
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,165
You just shot your own king
in your own face.
863
00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:36,651
You'd get beheaded if you had one.
864
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,087
I will take yours.
King Hydroflax will live again.
865
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:48,961
Do you know what you need?
866
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,168
You know what any decent
headless king needs?
867
00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:54,210
Money. This connects every bank
868
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:58,330
to every other bank in this galaxy.
Right here, in my hand,
869
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,164
all the money you can eat.
870
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,401
Demonstrate.
871
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,126
With pleasure.
872
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,362
Welcome to all the best firewalls
in the galaxy.
873
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,647
Nothing is protected like money.
874
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:18,769
Every stock market within a light year
is arguing in your head.
875
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,570
I do not understand.
876
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,688
That's the way
it is for most people.
877
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,922
Do not understand. Do not understand.
878
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,086
He had a bad day on the market.
879
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,491
Do not understand.
880
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,565
Do not understand.
881
00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:36,088
Sorry. I appreciate that wasn't really
funny but I couldn't help saying it.
882
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,210
Surface impact in two minutes.
883
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,890
- Where's everyone else?
- They ran for it. So should we.
884
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,530
We need to get the nav com back online
885
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,807
- and reroute the thrusters.
- I'm trying.
886
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,966
- So, King Hydroflax.
- Oh, how many times?
887
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,441
- I married the diamond.
- So you say.
888
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,205
- Elizabeth I.
- Ramone.
889
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,248
- Marilyn Monroe.
- Stephen Fry.
890
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:04,806
- Cleopatra!
- Same thing!
891
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:09,846
Hang on a minute,
892
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:11,925
I recognise that planet.
893
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,606
Well, that's nice.
Maybe they'll name the crater after us.
894
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,566
That's Darillium.
895
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,321
Always good to know where we're going.
896
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:24,561
Could you concentrate
on your work, please?
897
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,166
You know, the Singing Towers?
898
00:44:27,240 --> 00:44:29,402
Yes, I'll be sure to give them a wave
as we zoom past.
899
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:30,970
You always say
you're going to take me there for dinner
900
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,849
And then you always cancel
at the last minute.
901
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,127
I'd quite like to cancel this time, too,
if at all possible.
902
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,571
What are you doing?
That's the internal teleport.
903
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:47,287
Yes, I can use the power cell
to boost the thrusters.
904
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,885
Really? How?
905
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,406
Hold these, quickly.
906
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,487
- I don't see what good this will do.
- Sorry, River.
907
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,843
Crashing spaceships, that's my job.
908
00:44:58,480 --> 00:44:59,641
You...
909
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:03,680
No, you don't!
910
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,649
More power. You can do it,
you can do it!
911
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,444
No, River! No, no. No, no, no!
912
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,244
Get back in the Tardis. This is my job.
913
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,129
- This is my job!
- I've been doing it longer.
914
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,565
- I do it better.
- River,
915
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,651
not one person on this ship,
not one living thing, is worth you.
916
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,447
Or you!
917
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,007
Surface impact in ten, nine, eight...
918
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,241
Teensy bit close.
919
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,288
- Yeah, sort of.
- Darling, shall we pop back indoors?
920
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:42,126
- Yeah, good idea.
- ...four, three, two, one...
921
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,407
Indestructible as ever.
922
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,084
"Married the diamond."
923
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:10,326
Hello?
924
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,568
Sir?
925
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,847
- The ship, it came down. Did you see it?
- Yes, I did.
926
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,410
- I've been searching for survivors...
- I doubt if you'd find any.
927
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,003
And I don't think any of them
would be worth it, if that's a comfort.
928
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:26,368
Brave of you to try, though. Well done.
929
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:28,761
Thank you, sir.
930
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,284
Those are the Singing Towers,
aren't they?
931
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:37,402
Yes, sir. But it's just the wind.
932
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,403
The Singing Towers of Darillium.
933
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:42,928
Here we are at last.
934
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,081
Sir?
935
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,927
You know what? You should
build a restaurant right here,
936
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,684
with a view of those towers.
937
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,489
You'd make a lot of money that way.
938
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,801
You should do that.
939
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,769
You'd need a lot of money
to begin with, sir.
940
00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:57,924
The Halassi Androvar.
941
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:02,081
I think you'll find that the reward
is pretty substantial.
942
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:10,402
Why would you give me this, sir?
943
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,565
Restaurant.
944
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:32,647
Excuse me.
945
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,963
Um, I'd like a table on the balcony
with a view of the towers.
946
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,725
I'm sorry, sir. The first available slot
I have is Christmas Day,
947
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,487
- in four years' time.
- Not a problem.
948
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,328
Professor Song, the Doctor is
waiting for you on the balcony.
949
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:58,807
Oh!
950
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,722
- Excellent.
- This way, ma'am.
951
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,046
Do we have a good table?
952
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,568
The finest
in all the galaxy, ma'am.
953
00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:10,529
Ah. Um...
954
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:11,967
One moment.
955
00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:22,004
- Ramone?
- Professor Song.
956
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,289
The Doctor will be with you in a moment.
957
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,366
What are you doing here?
958
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,364
They pulled us from the wreckage, ma'am.
Fixed us up.
959
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,643
I've been working here ever since.
960
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:33,925
Don't worry,
961
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,129
the nasty part's all gone.
Got deleted in a merger.
962
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,006
What about Nardole?
963
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,690
Oh, Merry Christmas, ma'am.
964
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,125
Good to see you again.
965
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,646
Merry Christmas, Nardole!
966
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,770
Sorry I'm off duty,
I'm just having some "me" time.
967
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,523
I imagine that must
be quite a challenge.
968
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,523
Yes, ma'am.
969
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:55,844
So, Ramone.
970
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,727
- You have a metal body now.
- Down, girl.
971
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,371
Now, that, my dear, is a suit.
972
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:07,726
Happy Christmas.
973
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:09,807
Really?
974
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,565
I don't think you've ever
given me a present before.
975
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,688
It's a sonic screwdriver!
How lovely.
976
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,001
When I saw the sonic trowel,
I thought it was just embarrassing.
977
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,128
But look.
978
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:29,968
Oh, thank you.
979
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,722
You look, uh, amazing.
980
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,043
Oh, Doctor. You have no idea
whether I look amazing or not.
981
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,282
Well, you've moved your hair about,
haven't you?
982
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,727
Well clone.
It's very sweet of you to try.
983
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,765
So what do you think?
984
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,928
The Singing Towers.
985
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,166
The music.
986
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,645
Listen to it.
987
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,250
Are you crying?
988
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,840
No. just the wind.
989
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,370
Nothing's ever just the wind.
990
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,570
No?
991
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,971
It blows through the cave system.
992
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,122
It harmonises with crystal layer.
993
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:43,840
Why are you sad?
994
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:46,521
Why are you sad?
995
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,446
I told you, my diary is nearly full.
996
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,367
I worry.
997
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:54,890
Please don't.
998
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,964
- There are stories about us, you know.
- Oh, I dread to think.
999
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:06,249
- I look them up sometimes.
- You really shouldn't do that.
1000
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,444
Some of them suggest that
1001
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:15,204
The very last night we spend together
is at the Singing Towers of Darillium.
1002
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,521
That wouldn't be true, would it?
1003
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:23,930
Spoilers.
1004
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:31,691
Well, that would explain why
you kept cancelling coming here.
1005
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,286
- Remember when there were two of you?
- River, stop. Please stop.
1006
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,522
Because I want you to know
that if this is the last night,
1007
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,523
I expect you to find a way round it.
1008
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:40,967
Not everything can be avoided.
1009
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:43,687
Not forever.
1010
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,200
But you're you.
1011
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,280
There's always a loophole.
1012
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,641
You wait until the last minute
and then you spring it on me.
1013
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:53,051
Every night is
the last night for something.
1014
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,248
- Every Christmas is last Christmas.
- But you will.
1015
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,367
You'll wait until I've given up hope,
all will be lost
1016
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,125
and you'll do that smug little smile
and then you'll save the day.
1017
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,806
- You always do.
- No, I don't. Not always.
1018
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:09,846
Times end, River. Because they have to.
1019
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,368
Because there's no such thing
as happy ever after.
1020
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,803
It's just a lie we tell ourselves
because the truth is so hard.
1021
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:17,966
No, Doctor.
1022
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:20,567
You're wrong.
1023
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,241
Happy ever after doesn't mean forever.
1024
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,962
It just means time.
1025
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,523
A little time.
1026
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:38,486
But that's not the sort of thing
you could ever understand, is it?
1027
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,207
Mmm.
1028
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,967
- What do you think of the towers?
- I love them.
1029
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,208
Then, why are you ignoring them?
1030
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,009
They're ignoring me.
1031
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,044
But then,
1032
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,771
you can't expect a monolith
to love you back.
1033
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,082
No, you can't.
1034
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,727
They've been there
for millions of years,
1035
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,441
through storms and floods
and wars and time.
1036
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,761
Nobody really understands
where the music comes from.
1037
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,121
It's probably something to do
with the precise positions,
1038
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,328
the distance between both towers.
1039
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,003
Even the locals aren't sure.
All anyone will ever tell you is
1040
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,370
that when the wind stands fair
and the night is perfect,
1041
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,204
when you least expect it,
1042
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,046
but always
1043
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,403
when you need it the most,
1044
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:39,965
there is a song.
1045
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,211
So...
1046
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,042
assuming tonight is all we have left...
1047
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,408
- I didn't say that.
- ...how long
1048
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,127
is a night on Darillium?
1049
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:05,966
Twenty-four years.
1050
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:15,885
I hate you.
1051
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:19,521
No, you don't.
77125
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