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Makes me cry.

It's... good.

I'm going to, uh...

find other things to do besides making films.

So I'm trying to get back into the piano.

This is what I try to put Audrey to sleep with at night.

But she didn't want to stand.

She doesn't want to sleep, she wants to stand by me.

And whistle as I play.

I am determined to do a lot more book-reading and piano-playing.

And caressing my wife.

And being caressed by her.

My love for Audrey intensified during her illness.

It's deeper and deeper as every day goes by.

And it comes from the realization

that now that she's going through Alzheimer's,

that I've become aware of what a great...

companion she was in everything I did.

Even though I was absent half the time,

travelling around the world shooting films.

I still consider her my... my lover.

My big romance.

We were very close from the very beginning.

It's 44 years now.

And, uh, we're getting closer as time goes by. Yeah?

Yeah.

: I was born on March the 8th,

1933:

International Women's Day.

My mother turned out to be quite an active pacifist feminist.

And she wanted to remind me where I came from.

I came from a feminist womb on International Women's Day.

It was in Montreal in the midst of the Depression,

in a huge snowstorm,

which made it very difficult to get to the hospital.

My father had to walk through fields of snow...

...to get to the hospital.

So he plowed his way across several fields to get to me.

Just to see his first new baby.

For the rest of my life I was always reminded that I was born in a stormy night.

And that therefore, I was headed for a stormy life.

Yeah, I've been through a lot of storms.

I've been through a lot of storms.

My life is mainly focused on... on Audrey...

...trying to make her life

as meaningful and creative as possible.

It's, uh, not-not...

it's not at all difficult, uh,

as long as I have time to be with her,

because I love her and she loves me, and...

we're enjoying each other's company.

It's cold outside.

I think that these, uh, strawberries are ready.

Mm-hmm.

I think she's passed the middle stage now of Alzheimer's.

She gradually lost her vocabulary.

She has a hard time finding the words

to say what she wants to say.

Has a hard time getting her pyjamas on

and getting herself into bed and getting up in the morning.

Yeah.

Yeah. Put that... put that here.

Put this here.

But it doesn't seem to bother her.

She retains her good spirits.

But she seems to be, uh, accepting her...

her fate.

Am I supposed to...

Her mother had Alzheimer's also,

so she's probably very conscious

of following her mother's example.

She comments a lot on clouds,

and trees... and flowers...

...funny ways in which people dress and walk on the street.

So she's very much still alive.

Thirteen, fourteen...

Fifteen.

This way, Aud. Come this way. Come this way.

Okay.

We're on land that was...

first settled by my ancestor Nicholas Austin in 1783.

The first European settler in the Eastern Townships.

A lot of great memories.

I've made two films here to record some of those memories.

The first one with my eight- year-old twin daughters.

That was my first experience of fatherhood.

One of the best things to ever happen to me.

I've been married three times in my life.

It's funny. My first two marriages both ended...

...in very dramatic ways, sad ways.

And yet, children came out of both marriages that...

...are great people and very close to me.

My first wife had just given birth to twin babies in 1959.

The trouble was that she was a fresh immigrant

from the big city of Helsinki trying to adjust to life

in a small rural town of New Brunswick.

Feeling totally alienated.

It was too much for her.

The kids were about a year old,

and, uh...

I came home one night and found Satu...

...lying in a flood

of her bl-blood in the bathroom...

...in the bathroom tub.

Oh.

It was a total surprise.

I didn't realize things were that hard for her.

She survived and became very creative in Toronto.

A very talented writer, very active in education.

Met another guy, a very good guy.

And I became their mother and their father

for the next two-and-a-half years.

That's why they're very, very special...

...people for me.

They were three and half when they moved

to live with their mother in Toronto.

So I wanted to make a film

that expressed my love for those children,

even though they were not living with me.

Eleven.

We have to share that.

: I know, I know, we'll have turns.

That there was a mother missing...

...and that I was missing the mother as well... as them.

The film was called The Wish.

Grandpa caught a fish!

I can't feed many people on that.

♪ Evening has come

♪ The morn has spread

♪ Thanks be to God

♪ Who gave us bread

- ...that a shape of? - D.

D?

: So it was an attempt to express the hope

that those children would...

remain part of my cycle of life.

That was my wish in making that film.

I never found out what their wish was.

I've had five other children since then.

I love them all equally.

♪ Girl says hallelujah

♪ Girl says hallelujah

♪ Girl says hallelujah

♪ Girls...

: Jacqueline lives in a wonderful home

for handicapped young people.

♪ Believe me just watch

And she comes home one weekend every month.

Uh, during which time she spends most of her time on the computer

listening to her favourite rock'n'roll musicians.

-Bingo! - It's usually Michael Jackson,

but for some reason she says she hasn't gotten to him yet...

...today.

Oh, boy.

She's quite a wild creature,

but you should've seen her 20 years ago.

She was 10 times wilder than she is now.

Jacqueline was born in 1976.

We were happy to have a second child.

But it turned out that she had serious behaviour problems.

One of them was that she started disappearing from her room

at the age of two.

So we'd wake up in the morning,

realize she was no longer in her room.

We had to phone the police

and ask the police to help us find her.

She did so for the next 35 years or so,

disappearing all the time.

We'd always find her downtown.

She'd end up with other young people running away.

She'd get into trouble. You know,

she was always picked up by guys who submitted her to sex.

So we always had to have her...

checked out for sexual disease every time she was found.

Now, maybe I should get back to my music.

So she was quite a strain on the marriage, Audrey and me.

Very hard on our sex life too,

because, uh,

Jacqueline would open her door and disappear at night.

So I slept every night on the, uh,

floor outside her bedroom door.

Didn't sleep with Audrey for years.

Exactly! Exactly.

I behaved very badly with Jacqueline,

not knowing what was wrong.

Oh, sugar plum-a-num-ma-na.

I would raise my voice at her, I'd shout at her,

and sometimes slap her.

Oh, which I hate to admit.

You know, very ashamed of myself.

Audrey's stuck with me. My God,

I'm so... lucky to have had such a...

faithful partner.

It wasn't until she was in her early teens

where it became evident to our medical advisors

that she might have something called autism.

Well, we'd never heard of autism.

Audrey never knew what was wrong with her,

but she never failed

to make her feel that she was a loved child,

a much-loved child, whereas I did fail.

I've lived to regret

that short-sightedness on my part ever since.

Dad, I have an idea.

But I've tried more to make up for it.

We're now very close. We love each other very much.

We have a good time together.

Oh, God, I love this one.

"There's just no hiding a good man's heart."

- That's good. - Hey, this one's for you, Dad.

Listen. This...

"There's just no hiding a good man's heart."

"A soft touch, then a kind man,

now a great son always."

Oh, that must be from my favourite mother.

Yeah!

Yeah! ♪ Keep your eyes on the prize

♪ Hold on hold on

♪ Hold on...

: That was the '60s.

The civil-rights movement.

And the anti-war movement.

All of North America was in revolt against the system.

Those were very exciting years.

We were all hippies, you know? That was the hippie period.

Free art.

Free love.

Free pot.

And I went along with the crowd in those endeavours.

I'm really quite ashamed of myself, you know.

I did a series of films with the Film Board

about social democracy in Sweden

in the summer of '69.

While we shot these films in the daytime,

in the nights and on the weekends,

we shot our own films.

And out of that summer, I met my second wife, Marianne.

She became a character in the film called Untouched and Pure.

Sometimes, if you are... empty.

Empty? You mean open?

Open and empty.

A red-haired beauty.

Very colourful street performer.

Pregnant.

I got involved with her... romantically...

...and she with me.

I loved her energy and her...

beauty and her creativity.

So I was there for the birth of the child when it came.

I wasn't the biological father, but by that time,

I had coupled up with her mother so I was there for her birth.

That was not an easy experience,

very exciting,

but when it came to cutting the umbilical cord, I fainted.

I couldn't stand the sight

of the scissors cutting the umbilical cord!

The nurse could see I was on my way out.

I was starting to go, so she came over and grabbed me.

I ended up being the adoptive father of her child.

Her name is Thiara.

Hello.

Thiara!

Hi, Thiara. Hi!

I'm just as crazy about her as my other six kids.

And I think it's a mutual feeling.

This is it! This is it.

- You want a big one, do ya? - Mm-hmm.

- How heavy is it? - Well, it's a little bit heavy.

- They're heavy. - If you hold the dog Martin...

Yeah? Oh, you mean you think you could carry it?

- Yeah. Lift it up for me. - You want to try it?

Can you carry it? Oh, my God.

Oh, look at that, she's got it.

- How much is that? - Five dollars.

Five dollars. Really good.

Where is she now?

- Right there. - Oh, right there.

Taking a rest?

Am I nearly there? Hello!

Hello. Who are these little people?

Ah!

Yeah, right there, top of the stairs.

- Thank you, Jacqueline. - You're welcome.

- That was great. - You're welcome.

I don't remember when the walking out started with Audrey.

I know it's been happening for two or three years anyway.

If she went out the front door,

I would let her wander off and follow her

to try to figure out where she thought she was going.

I learned that she didn't know where she was going either.

It's as if wanders just for the sake of wandering.

There's, uh, no...

no end to that wandering.

Very similar to how Jacqueline used to run away.

Jacqueline never had an objective in mind.

The only explanation she had was:

"Well, that's what my feet do. I don't tell my feet,

my feet tell me to do it,

to run away."

We had tickets for a play version

of Dostoevsky's The Idiot.

At the end of the first act, there's a very dramatic scene.

Lots of shouts and cries, and it comes to a climax.

I turned to Audrey and she wasn't there.

I've lost her. She's gone.

Everybody's attention was on the stage at that climatic moment,

including my own attention,

and I hadn't noticed that she'd...

got up and disappeared.

It was probably too emotional for her.

So we all dispersed around the streets looking for Audrey.

This was in March. Cold weather.

Police had to be called.

They started looking all around the streets.

There was something like 20 cars.

They spread out all over that part of Montreal.

Couldn't find her. Finally gave up about 11:00.

All went home totally... discouraged.

And at midnight the call came from the police

that she was found in the Mount Royal metro station

trying to warm up. It was a cold March night.

She didn't even have a coat.

It was the height of the Vietnam War, 1969.

I was over there with Mike Rubbo.

He asked me if I would do the camera.

This is the first film with a political content to it

that I had a chance to work on.

It was scary.

The Viet Cong were closing closer and closer in,

surrounding Saigon while we were there.

And you could hear more bombing going on every night.

We spent most of the time eating in street-side restaurants.

And I got very sick.

So I spent a week in a U.S. military hospital.

And I had to watch a striptease show every night.

Right after supper, as soon as the supper trays

were cleared out, a stripper would be brought in.

I was miserably...

sick and was in no...

no condition to appreciate a strip show.

It took me a week to recover, but the film

was a life-changing experience for me.

Mike discovered that there was a monk

who was doing his work for peace by establishing

a peaceful colony on a small island in the Mekong River.

We hear the bombing and the fighting going on in distances,

and we see military aircraft flying over all the time,

and military boats going up and down the river.

But here in the middle of the river

is a very peaceful community consisting of monks

and a lot of the refugees from the countryside.

And that really engaged me in heart and mind.

It was a turning point in my filmmaking.

So I came back and I became even more active

in the anti-war movement and decided that from then on,

I wanted to make films that had some political use.

It turned me off films made just for art's sake.

That made me and a lot of our hippie friends

very aware of how important it was to...

take part in that movement.

I became quite close to a lot of Vietnamese people

at that time.

Is that Rick?

Yeah, I see on the internet that you have budgies for sale.

We want to train a budgie to talk.

You have such a bird?

Oh, here we are.

There they are.

Budgies!

Can it fly around?

Yeah, yeah. You have to be careful.

It can fly in the house, so...

Yeah? Let's choose one of these.

I'll choose the one that's blue there.

- The blue one? - Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Okay. We'll take the blue one.

He's got it. He got it. Finally.

- He's putting him in a box. - Yeah!

- Have a great day. - Thank you. You too, Dominique.

Thank you.

She was in the store with us and now... she's... gone.

She was with us, huh?

- Yeah. - And now she's disappeared.

Oh, I see her.

Here she comes.

Mom! Mommy!

Where were you?

Now let's stick together.

Yeah.

Let's stick together, all of us.

Yeah.

Or else we're just gonna lose her again.

- Yeah. - If we don't stick together.

Yeah.

This is, like, gonna be fun.

But you told her.

I told her just today.

I've had, uh...

very hard moments with the women in my life.

The reason I'm with Audrey

is because of a terrible car accident I had in Mexico.

When I was with my second wife, Marianne, from Sweden.

Yes, perhaps, but not even there sometimes.

She came back with me to Montreal, with the baby.

It grows in the pores.

On condition that we don't stay in Montreal.

She wanted to go to Mexico.

So I quit my job as a Film Board cameraman,

resigned from the Film Board.

It didn't feel like a great deal at the time.

I was in love with Marianne, and she said,

"How come you are agreeing to be a civil servant

with a guaranteed income,

while 97% of the people in the world

don't have that kind of security?

What makes you think that you merit a life like that?"

I said, "You're right. I don't have any right to that."

So I quit and drove to Mexico.

We heard that there was an artist colony

in a little village called Tepoztlan.

And we lived in a small hut for five-and-a-half months.

So that was a kind of paradise,

which came to a brutal end

when we were driving on a dirt road one night.

We were going a bit too fast.

I didn't have my seatbelt on.

I'm not even sure there was a seatbelt in the Volkswagens

at that time.

We hit a rock.

I went flying through the front window.

Landed on my head,

fractured both sides of my brain.

Ended up unconscious for 10 days in a local hospital.

I only had a 50% chance of surviving.

I'll never forget the moment I got my conscious back.

It was of the most memorable things to ever happen to me.

I woke up to a vision

of the universe filled with a huge tree.

It was a green tree just filling the whole universe.

It was so large coming up from the ground,

it spreads out to include the whole universe,

including all the people that exist,

all the stars in the heavens,

all the ideas that man ever had.

Uh...

And it was an inspiration;

it's been with me ever since as an inspiration.

How come I'm alive?

I took the tree to mean...

...a sign of welcome back to life.

I'm gonna close the door in case the bird flies out.

- Come here, Hopper, come here. - Dad, come on.

I'm going to close all the doors in case he gets out.

Okay, we're ready.

Okay, everybody, ladies and gentlemen...

- Here we go. - Boys and girls, watch this.

Here comes the action.

Michael, you got a new home.

- Oh! - No, Dad, no! Just leave him.

Ah! He's a budgie! He flies free!

Ha-ha!

Right there.

Yee-haw!

Ha-ha!

It was the Vietnam War that brought us together.

No more war! No more war!

The anti-war movement, that's how we met.

My second wife, Marianne, she went back to Sweden.

The car accident I had in Mexico put an end to that marriage.

At the height of the Vietnam War in 1971,

my mother was president of The Voice of Women of Canada,

quite an effective peace group.

And they invited women from North Vietnam

who were being bombed to death by American B52s

to come over to Toronto

and meet women peace activists in North America.

And one of those women was Audrey.

So I was there with my camera,

and Audrey was there with her camera;

she was covering the conference for a weekly newspaper

in New York at the time.

Her political positions immediately impressed me.

We were attracted to each other as photographers, of course.

And she asked me if I knew a darkroom

where she could develop her negatives.

I said, "Well the place I'm staying in Toronto

happens to have a darkroom in it."

So she came that night and developed her negatives,

and...

...we woke up in the same bed the next morning.

I was lucky to find her at that point in my life,

where I was recovering from my accident

and getting started again on a new career.

But she didn't want to be dependent on me,

she wanted to be an independent woman.

Freedom now! Freedom now!

She took off with her camera and headed straight to Birmingham

to cover the civil-rights movement there.

It was a very brave thing of Audrey

to go down into that territory with her camera,

which was dominated by the Ku Klux Klan.

The Klan bumped northern white activists off.

She was fearless,

taking pictures as she travelled all over the country.

Audrey was there, the great March on Washington,

where they arrested - what was it? -

1,000 people and threw them all

in a sports stadium,

and you were one of them.

There wasn't a big-enough jail to...

...accommodate everybody.

You like that?

She, uh, she likes my hairdo.

And she did her photos of GIs throwing their medals

on the steps of the Congress.

...Silver Star.

Returning back all this crap.

This Bronze Star here,

they gave it to me for killing 14 people, man.

: Her main strength was her love of people.

People allowed her to come into intimate situations.

I was very attached to Audrey, but I also felt...

a marital obligation to Marianne,

so I was really torn: I was in love with Audrey,

but here I was married to somebody else, uh...

...living in Stockholm.

What am I gonna do?

Just about then is when I got this job

from the Film Board to do a shoot in Bolivia.

Before coming home, I wanted to see Machu Picchu.

It was just the next country over.

That's when Marianne had left for Sweden

and I had met Audrey.

So that... problem was raging in my mind, in my heart,

when I camped out at Machu Picchu.

I slept up there, under the stars,

sleeping in the ruins.

You could do that back then.

I said, "Okay, I'm gonna decide here which way I'll go."

And came to the conclusion:

I would have a much more secure and solid life with Audrey.

Audrey was at that time in Albuquerque, New Mexico,

doing some photography

of GI veterans back from Vietnam.

I took a train to Monterrey, Mexico.

I had arranged with Audrey to meet me there.

She came down by train, headed south,

and I took a train headed north.

We found a small village in the Sierra Madre hills.

She agreed to spend the rest of her life with me.

We even decided that we wanted to have three children together.

Started to make our plans for spending our lives together.

I have a total of 14 grandchildren.

It's a privilege to feel that...

I'll be leaving behind some...

very creative successors.

Nice shot!

You got it just in time.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, I'll hit with my hands.

Audrey and I had our first child, Danielle,

a year and a half after we settled down in Montreal.

Danielle turned out to be very conscious of who her mother was

and wanted to follow her mother's example.

Danielle was born as Audrey was beginning her career

as a teacher of photography,

and in the midst of her commitment

to doing a large photo show of immigrant children.

Very warm, intimate portraits of immigrant families.

Beautiful framing.

And those projects resulted

in her having major exhibitions of her work.

I don't think they can come and get you.

Audrey, she carried on teaching for 18 years,

until Jacqueline got evicted from the school she was in,

because she had ran away too often.

The last time she ran away,

she was missing for a week and found in a railway station.

We weren't able to find a proper residence for Jacqueline,

so Audrey devoted the next 15 years of her life

to looking after Jacqueline.

From the time that Jacqueline was born,

Danielle always behaved like a loving, older sister.

Helped us get through the most difficult times with Jacqueline.

Come with us to the airport.

: Always concerned with social issues.

Danielle chose as a career to be a healthcare researcher.

Wanting to help the world, I think,

maybe because of the experience that she had with Jacqueline.

Audrey and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary.

I proposed to Audrey many times over the years,

but she said she didn't want to marry a guy

who'd been divorced twice.

So 25 years passed,

and her parents were aging quite quickly,

so she proposed to me.

I said yes right away.

She said, "Well you have to go and get my father's approval,"

so I went to her father.

He said, "Well I need to have a list of your belongings,

some indication of security

that you're gonna provide for my daughter."

So I gave him a list of what I...

what I thought was an indication of security.

Sounds like a real friendly guy.

Yeah. So I listed the names of all my children,

my grandchildren,

an 18-speed bicycle...

...uh, a dog, a cat, a rabbit and... and two birds.

And showed him the list and he said, "Okay, I approve."

I'm a very busy man.

You're funny.

Look. He's riding a Yamaha motorcycle.

Oh. Little...

Who is it?

- Little Nicky. - Little Nicky?

Aye-yai-yai.

These are pictures that Audrey took of our son

when he was two or three years old. Eh, Aud?

Yeah, probably.

Who is this one?

Doesn't he look like Nicky?

Nicky, yeah.

He was in such misery.

- Who? - Nicky.

His daddy was too busy taking his picture

instead of lifting him up on his lap.

Nicolas is my favourite son.

I have seven children.

I had six daughters, and then a son.

I had to be very careful not to show preference for him...

...as a father of six other daughters.

I think I covered it up pretty well.

- What are you doing? - Blowing up a balloon.

Oh, dear.

He treats me...

really beautifully.

Takes good care of my financial and emotional needs.

The only complaint we have about him is that...

he doesn't have much time to see us,

because he's an emergency doctor at the new hospital.

Works very long hours. And then what hours he has left,

he likes to devote to his newfound partner.

Which is what he should do.

I witnessed the birth of four of my seven children.

One of the most amazing thing of all is the birth of a child,

eh?

It makes you aware that there's some kind of a...

divine creative energy out there keeping us going.

One, two, three, go!

♪ Happy Birthday to you

Whoo! ♪ Happy Birthday to you

Whoo! ♪ Happy Birthday dear Nicky

♪ Happy Birthday to you

Bravo!

- Oh! - Here is to good memories...

from a little boy till now.

So may I introduce to you--

Wow!

"A Beginning Without End."

"Photos by Audrey Schirmer,

for a birthday along the way."

"From Mom and Dad."

Wasn't he a cutie?

Aw.

Oh.

For the rest of your life.

Yeah.

There. You look great.

It was, uh...

...two weeks ago today...

...at three in the afternoon.

We were on our way out.

She was in the front lobby, I was in the bedroom,

and I heard a terrible scream.

She screamed and fell to the floor.

And I... dashed,

and I saw her...

crumpled on the floor...

...trying desperately to breathe.

The most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life.

I thought she was dying.

Had a hell of a time breathing, choking on her breath,

body completely stiffened.

A horrible sight.

Okay. Audrey, my dear, lunchtime.

Audrey, my dear, lunchtime.

- Dad, Dad, Dad. - What?

- Let me do it. I can do it. - Oh, yeah, you do it.

- I can do it. It's lunchtime. - Alright.

- Okay. - Want to come and eat?

Mm-hmm.

And thank God the paramedics were there within 10 minutes.

I had to help them...

...move the body, move the body

so they could lift her up and get her in a stretcher.

It took her an hour to get her conscience back in the hospital,

by which time Nicolas was able to assure me

that she wasn't dying, that it was a...

epileptic seizure.

- I got her juice. - Oh, you got her halfway up.

- Yup. - Okay.

She's lost her capacity to speak,

and to recognize people, so...

all that disappeared with the seizure.

Come, Momma. Come.

Me and your husband is helping you.

I've got your juice.

She looks as if she's dead, really.

She just walks bent over and... just shuffles.

She has a hard time walking and...

never raises her head and never says anything.

Looks as if she's reached the end.

Here we go.

Okay, my dear, here we go. Good.

Up again. Hey. Great.

We're moving the stuff of Audrey's down to a place

called Maison l'étincelle,

which means "spark" in English.

It's supposed to, uh...

spark a good life.

It's a brand-new place.

It just opened three months ago for Alzheimer's patients.

There was one room left and we got it.

I don't know how aware Audrey is of what's going on.

I had sleepless nights, worrying about the move.

It's, uh...

...testing me for sure, testing...

It's making it easier

by spending a lot of time here with her days and nights.

The staff seems to be able to put up with that.

We spent our first night together,

the night before last, here.

Now I'll spend our second night together here.

But then I have to get used to living alone at home.

We signed a contract for one person, not for two.

: She had a seizure,

which speeded up her decline.

She can't remember the names of her children.

But she never developed many of the characteristics

that Alzheimer's patients are supposed to have.

They're supposed to become aggressive.

Well, she's never shown a sign of aggressivity.

They're supposed to start complaining.

I've never heard her do that.

Well, now they say there's gonna become a phase

where she'll forget... her partner.

Well, maybe she won't.

Oh.

For the most of the last year that Audrey was home

before she was put into the nursing home,

Jacqueline couldn't understand what was going on.

She didn't want to go and see her in the nursing home.

She still hasn't been able to talk to Audrey on the phone.

You can talk in the public to anybody about Alzheimer's

as long as she doesn't hear.

I'm allowed to speak out loud.

Yeah, but just don't talk about it when she's around.

- Around. - Right.

Okay.

Because we want to make her feel that she's still okay,

you know, that she's not too sick.

And instead of... instead of, uh...

Leaving us, yeah.

It was... it was extremely hard for Jacqueline.

And as a result, very hard for me too,

when I think of it, you know.

It's really hard for you to...

not have a wife lying next to you here and stuff like that.

It's not the same person.

She's just a ghost of what she used to be.

- It's not the same person-- - She's not... she's not.

That...

But she still likes to caress. She likes caresses.

She... she caresses my hair when I--

You mean, like, pat you like a cat or a dog.

Yeah, when I lay next to her, she caresses--

Like pat you like a cat or a dog.

- Yeah. - Stroke you.

She strokes me and I stroke her.

We communicate that way.

So that makes me feel that she remembers who I am,

when she caresses me.

Makes me feel I'm still her partner.

Yeah, now she knows she's going to be losing

one of her parents, you know?

It's very hard on her.

So she keeps asking me how long I'm going to live.

So I keep assuring her it's at least 10 more years, you know.

And then she also wants to know how long Audrey's gonna to live.

You and I shouldn't say no.

She can say no, but we shouldn't say no.

- But she can say the word "no." - Yeah.

- She can in general. - Yeah.

She can say no,

but can she say the word "I love you"?

Or not really?

Yeah, she can say it if she can find the words.

Yeah.

If she can find the words properly.

Yeah, it'll be interesting to see if she remembers our names.

- I'll ask her nicely. - Ask her what?

Say, "Can you remember my name?"

No, no. Then she might feel badly if she can't remember.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

Let me give you a little warning.

It takes a while for her to realize who I am when I'm there.

And it'll be the same for you.

She probably will not realize who you are right away.

Jacqueline never...

...adjusted herself to it.

She never came to terms with the fact that Audrey was ill.

So she just cut herself off from Audrey.

Stopped talking to her.

Well, Audrey wanted to see Jacqueline.

Kept asking about Jacqueline.

I think you found it hard for awhile there, Jacqueline.

Yeah.

It was really, really difficult for me.

Yeah.

And I didn't wanted to see her that way.

- Right. - At that moment.

I just...

Your socks are inside-out.

Why don't you put them inside-in?

- There you go. - Thank you.

Lift up your other feet, please.

It took us months to persuade her

that Audrey needed her as much as she needed Audrey.

Thank God...

...before it was too late.

Hi.

I like your dress.

I taught a total of about 25 years in film production.

I made some good friendships.

The student notes from my class at Concordia.

Very good interactions with the students.

"He's more than just a teacher. We learn about ourselves."

"Keep up at being kind and respectable with students,

but sometimes you have to speak louder."

I didn't believe in marking, so I gave them all As.

And always had trouble with administration doing that.

I could never...

...bring myself to believe that you can...

...evaluate, give a mark to, uh, to artistic... talent.

I mean, the main thing is to encourage

the creative spirit of each person to come out.

And you can't do that by giving marks.

As long as you do your best to... to, uh...

express yourself, you get an A.

I think that life is like that.

If you do your best, you know, life will give you an A.

We're going to another room now.

- Okay. - Because dinner is ready,

dinner is served.

Monsieur... monsieur... monsieur Krilley said

that you were laughing with him today.

Who can't for... for himself?

Yeah, he said he had a good laugh with you today.

You see? Just like that.

You gonna tell her about your boyfriend?

Ah.

Thank you for reminding me.

Yeah.

I broke up with Archer now.

And now I have a new boyfriend at camp. Alex.

Wow.

I was asking him: Alex,

"Would you like to go out with me?"

And he said, "Yes, sure."

So...

I have a new boyfriend at camp now.

No more Archer.

He's finished.

And now, Alex.

Wow.

I don't know how long they're gonna put up with me here,

because I'm the only spouse that sleeps here at night.

Okay, come over here now. Let's go to bed over here.

So I'm worried that they'll kick me out of here,

so I try to keep a low profile.

- That's what it is. - That's what it is. Bedtime.

I try to stay invisible most of the time,

because I want to stay as long as I can

without being asked to leave.

Okay, sit down there.

Mm-hmm.

That's right.

Okay, head down over here.

Feet up over here.

Head down on the pillow there.

Okay, now you go for a ride downwards.

There's another bed for me next to hers.

It's a low bed so we have to push the button

to make Audrey's bed go down

so she joins me at my level so we can hold hands.

I love her more than ever. Yeah.

Every day goes by, I love her more.

It's amazing to me, you know,

because I've become more aware

of how much she has meant to me in my life,

how much she's done for me and for our family,

and for the world.

Uh...

So she's... I still see her as the best person I know,

you know, because of that.

Because of what she... what I...

what we've been through in these last 46 years together.

And, uh, I think she still loves me too.

She says she loves me still.

Those are some words that she can get out that mean something.

I've been in this house for 42 years.

One year without Audrey.

So it's not the same without Audrey.

But she's here everywhere.

She's in all these books and records and films and pictures.

She's very much here, so I'm intending to stay here...

...the rest of my life.

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