All language subtitles for 8 ½ Women English

[music playing]

We agree to discharge
your debts in return

for you Japanese assets.

Real estate?

No.

Insurance companies?

No.

Gambling Parlors.

No, no, no.

[speaking japanese]

[music playing]

He said that the gambling
parlors belonged to his mother

and that she would be very
angry to see them sold.

Then I think you have a
choice, please your mother

or face criminal charges.

To a man of honor,
that is no choice.

Then you may go to jail.

Please sign here.

[music playing]

That was physical.

I haven't had a physical
confrontation like that

since I was your age, Story.

His mother is very angry.

Well his mother packs
a powerful punch.

[music playing]

It's a contract with--
with blood on it, my blood.

Let me get a new copy.

No, no, no.

I like the drama, and I
sort of respect the gesture.

I hope you would
punch a foreigner

who bought your mother's
properties, Story.

Perhaps I would check if
he would punch me back.

[music playing]

Well, spilt blood might
help to remove his shame.

You should now make
the three monkeys.

What?

You should demote
the tree monkeys

every time you make a deal.

Pachinko parlors are not small
change, they are big business.

And you deeply
offended his honor.

You were rude.

I wasn't rude.

Well who's side are you on?

We should sell them quickly.

No.

If they can arouse such
passion, keep them.

I do not think, Mr.
Story, that that is wise,

and I have your best
interest at heart.

They're not mine.

They have my blood on them.

Well, we'll keep them for
a year, fresh assessment

next April.

Though, you must
manage them, Story.

Maybe by next year they'll
have your blood on them.

Ear, chin, time one, time two,
prick, foot, hand, and God.

Seek [inaudible] The luck
of a man without a woman.

The quick brown fox
jumps over the lazy dog.

[non-english speech]

[screaming]

[speaking japanese]

The luck of a woman with a man.

[yelling]

[phone ringing]

MR. EVENTAL (ON
PHONE): Hello, Story.

It's me.

What are you doing in Geneva?

You're supposed to
be here tomorrow.

Dad, are you still there?

Do you want me to call you back?

MR. EVENTAL (ON
PHONE): your mother.

Well how is she?

Put her on.

MR. EVENTAL (ON
PHONE): She's not well.

What's the matter?

MR. EVENTAL (ON
PHONE): She's very ill.

In fact, she's so ill
she's not moving anymore.

What are you talking about?

MR. EVENTAL (ON PHONE):
She's not breathing anymore.

She's not living anymore.

In fact, she's dead.

What?

MR. EVENTAL (ON PHONE): I--
I cant talk anymore just now.

Well, hey, wait.

Dad?

MR. EVENTAL (ON PHONE): When
you've thought about it, Story,

ring me.

10 minutes, five minutes,
I-- I won't go away.

Ear, chin, heart, heart.

Prick, foot, and God.

Benedictus, Benedicat,
[inaudible],

Christian, Dominant,
[inaudible].

[inaudible]

[yelling]

[rumbling]

I lived most of my life
with my wife in this bed.

You make it sound as
though you never got up.

I like sleeping.

You were conceived in this bed.

You weren't asleep then.

No, but I have a
feeling your mother was.

Read to me.

Your mother did.

Well what should I read?

Something grand
and significant.

The Constitution of America?

No.

Your mother was an American
and she never needed it.

The Lord's Prayer?

No, I never needed that either.

Something in Latin?

You don't understand Latin.

Benedictus,
Benedicap, [inaudible],

Christian, [inaudible] nostrum.

Amen.

You see?

Mangled rubbish.

I love Latin.

But for some reason,
I was very bad at it,

shamefully and
blushingly bad at it.

You were bad at mass.

Well that was different.

The moments of stress, the
embarrassment of how bad

I was at Latin really hit me.

It was like being laughed at by
somebody you desperately loved.

Where are you going?

Maybe I want to see
that maid, Clotilde,

again with the coffee pot.

Or maybe I-- I wish
I wanted to see her.

How come that she
can be alive pouring

coffee and not your mother?

Come on.

You aren't gay, are you?

No.

Well I like my own
cock well enough,

but I've never been
able to work up much

enthusiasm for anyone else's.

You've had all
this redecorating.

It was your mother's idea.

She was spring cleaning.

Don't change the subject.

How come you haven't
got plans to marry?

Perhaps because
I'm too much in love

with my own prick to
share it permanently.

It's probably your fault.

My fault?

Ever since I was eight, and
you put that full length mirror

in my wardrobe door, and
I wanted to be double

jointed so I could
kiss my cock good night

before I went to sleep.

All this narcissism is
rather boring isn't it?

Find yourself a woman.

Get someone else to
kiss your cock for you.

Let's go to a hotel.

No.

It's too far away from
her and she might want me.

How is that possible?

I might want her.

You've never slept with
a corpse, I take it.

(SINGING) I'd like to
get you on a slow boat

to China all to my self alone.

Get you and keep you
in my arms evermore.

Leave all your lovers
weeping on a faraway shore.

MR. EVENTAL: When I was
young I hated my body

because it was so thing.

No I try and not to look at it
too much because it's so old.

Perhaps it was just six months
when I felt comfortable with

it, when I discovered
alcohol for the first time,

and learnt to drive,
and was fattening

up when I just met your mother.

[hooing]

What was that noise?

STORY: It's an owl.

MR. EVENTAL: Sounds like your
mother singing in the loo.

She sang to let you
know she was in there.

It's a funny thing to
do, don't you think?

I mean, if you
were oversensitive

about bodily
functions you'd have

thought she'd have kept very
quit about it, wouldn't you?

It's no good.

This is too uncomfortable,
and you make me feel guilty.

Why?

You should have had
brothers and sisters,

and you could have
discussed sex with them.

But your my father.

Why can't I discuss
sex with you?

Your interest in
sex got me here.

Why do you keep saying
things like that?

I'm bonding.

did you ever do it in
the back of a rolls?

MR. EVENTAL: Shut up.

I'm too miserable
to think about sex.

Look at all these
wasted empty bedrooms

all set up with
beds and bathrooms.

It's like a hotel
without people.

There used to be people
here enough in the summer.

When I was a child.

You should feel
the rooms up again.

What the hell with?

Concubines?

Let's go take a
look in your room.

You know, your my nearest
surviving relative.

STORY: I'll always be
nearer you than your wife.

Shh.

She'll hear us.

She doesn't like
to be discussed.

So this is the infamous
mirror that saw

so much of my son's nakedness.

You're a great deal fleshier
than me when I was your age.

Where do you get it from?

Certainly not your mother.

You're a nice backside.

I can sit on it.

You could say that.

You look a stranger to me naked.

STORY: It works both ways.

Get out of bed.

I want to see what I'll
look like when I'm 57.

55, and there's a
corpse in the house.

She's not a corpse.

She's my mother.

Well I don't know what to
say really, except you look

immortal and I look bereft.

That's not true.

There's only one pair.

You can have the trousers.

[sobbing]

MR. EVENTAL: Oh, my God.

My God.

My God.

Story.

Who is ever going to
hold me closely again?

You're a rich man.

I could think of hundreds.

Money is no good.

It's no good at all.

How can you say that?

Who is going to hold
me and love me for me?

For my body as it is now?

For me as I am now?

Like she did.

I thought you said she
was very passive in bed.

Did I?

You got too many clothes on.

But I-- I've never slept naked.

I hate pajamas.

I didn't know
you could do this.

You can do anything.

Besides, you're my father, and
your very, very, very unhappy.

Lift your arm and
lie on your back.

I'm unhappy, too.

Sort of.

Not as unhappy as
you are, of course.

We'll just have to
sort it all out.

Be patient.

Breath properly.

Remember, I'm your
nearest relative.

Besides, we couldn't make
babies even if we tried.

(SOBBING) Oh, no.

I want to wear white
to Amelia's funeral.

She didn't like black.

You can't.

They won't like it.

It's a reputable cemetery.

I have been contributing
to this town for 35 years.

I am a respectable
Genevan citizen.

They can honor my wife through
me with this little request.

OK.

OK.

So, let's do this properly.

Obviously the
underwear must go, too.

If you insist on black let's
bloody well go through with it.

So, who's wearing
black underwear?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Do I go to my wife's
funeral naked?

She never once in
her whole lifetime

saw me completely naked.

Well, now's her chance, hey?

Father, don't be
so bloody stupid.

Nobody's going to
see your underwear.

Everybody's probably wearing
white underwear, anyway.

But, you idiot, that
is just the point.

Just to show you how bloody
stupid all these etiquette is.

You want me in black?

OK.
OK.

OK.

So I'll wear black.

Don't make such
a fuss, Phillip.

I'm-- I'm wearing
a black t-shirt.

OK, get it off.

I've got black underwear on.

Is that usual for
a man in your age?

Well it looks like swim trunks.

I could go swimming in
the lake afterwords.

What was Amelia to you?

An excuse for a quick dip?

Charlie?

Lend me your suit.

Go and sit in the car.

Come on.

Hurry up.

Cleaned them this morning.

Don't worry.

You'll get them back, and
they'll be washed and pressed.

60 francs for your shirt.

What?

80 francs.

No.

100 francs.

No, it's new.

Come on.

OK, 150 francs.

God, whoever payed
that for a black shirt?

It's a collectors item.

Bloody is now.

Benedictus,
Benedicat, [inaudible]

Christian, dominum
nostrum, amen.

You know, to make his rigid,
tedious, boring painting seem

at least a little human,
the Mondrian enthusiastic

keep insisting that Mondrian
was a great tango dancer.

Art is supposed to help
in times of crisis.

I'm sure that food,
alcohol, and sex

are a better distraction.

Food only makes me retch.

Alcohol only makes me scared.

And sex?

Your mother's dead, and
with her everything that's

compatible with my prick.

What an extraordinary
thing to say.

Why?

It's true.

I know I'm a prude, but I'm
also a good dancer. (SINGING)

I saw a man who danced
with his wife in Chicago.

Chicago is my home town.

Or I used to be.

I used to have a wife.

I'm taking you to the cinema.

I never go to the cinema.

A great escapist medium.

I can't stand sitting in
the dark with strangers.

Harmless.

All of us obliged to share
the same emotional experiences.

It's too intimate.

Two hours of forgetfulness.

I like to be
emotional in private.

I hadn't noticed.

You know, Story, I haven't
been truthful with you.

When I was young-- well,
this is going to shock you.

I, too, often wanted to
sleep with my father.

Is that strange?

The other night it was, on my
part, an un-premeditated act.

I was hoping to console you.

I thought I did.

At least I distracted you.

No, you've heard
of young men wishing

to sleep with their mothers,
but not with their fathers.

Surely, I mean there's a name
for sleeping with your mother,

but not with your father.

Shut up, father.

Not now.

Don't call me father.

He was like a large
pillow, my father.

He took me swimming in
the lake practically

every day in the summer.

I watched him closely, a
large man with a large cock,

big, purple, rubbery.

My mother must have
been delighted,

she'd had two husbands already.

All the servants
came down to watched.

I was pleased that they
looked, because after all

that's where I came from.

You see?

You too are interested
in sexual continuity.

Oh, remember I was
only 10, perhaps 13.

You know, contemplating
my father's prick,

I often think that
that's what got

me interested in engineering.

What?

STORY: Watching
his Eiffel Tower,

his Empire State
Building, perhaps

made me a good engineer.

Shut up, father,
and watch the film.

Well, the penis, if
you think about it,

is the most enterprising
engineering feat imaginable.

Hydraulics, compression,
propulsion, heat sensitive.

Practically every engineering
characteristics, towers,

drawbridges, rocket ships, no
man-made engineering structure

to match it.

My father's involuntary anatomy
instructed my career prospects.

I mean, do I have that much
influence on your career--

What's the matter?

You must excuse me.

I was disturbed
by your frankness.

You were obviously on
a voyage of discovery.

MR. EVENTAL: Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Talking sex again.

What else is there
to talk about it?

Well give me another subject.

Death?

Death?

That is not a decent
subject matter to discuss.

Shh.

Watch the film.

Money.

Money is not interesting,
too easy to get hold of.

Too many stupid people have it.

Money can easily be
buried in the other two.

Buried.

I don't want to
talk about burials.

Shh.

Why do you think
Fellini kept inventing

all these exciting women?

Do you think he loved them all?

Did he sleep with them all?

Did he sleep with any of them?

Or did he get Mastroianni
to do it for him?

Dad, I have to
get back to Kyoto.

Oh, stay another week.

I need you here.

Why don't you come with me?

A change of place
would do you good.

I'll see.

How many film directors
make films to satisfy

their sexual fantasies?

I would imagine most of them.

If you don't come to Kyoto this
week, come for your birthday.

Those women, all nationalities,
every shape and size,

every age.

He was just an
old Italian pimp.

We know how lecherous the
Italians are supposed to be.

Well it's probably an
undeserved reputation.

[speaking japanese]

STORY: What's going on?

QUITO: This woman has
been caught stealing.

MR. EVENTAL: Then
call the police.

The father won't do it.

He says it is a family matter.

[speaking japanese]

You run the temptation shop.

[speaking japanese]

He's very angry.

She's sold his car and
mortgaged his house

to play your machines.

How could she have done that?

She forged his signature.

MR. EVENTAL: Who's signature?

The brothers, and the
fathers, and now the fiancees.

This place is a trap for
weak-minded women with nothing

better to do.

They want to beat her.

[speaking japanese]

And they want you to pay them.

She's very simple-minded.

MR. EVENTAL: Ask her why
on earth she does it.

[speaking japanese]

[speaking japanese]

QUITO: She is stupid.

What did I tell you?

Tell her she's beautiful.

You are beautiful.

[speaking japanese]

[speaking japanese]

She says you must
give her credit.

-No.
-[speaking japanese]

[speaking japanese]

You'll end up in
jail, and they don't

have these machines in jail.

QUITO: They do.

They do?

QUITO: The jailers
take credit for sex.

Then maybe I
should do the same.

Ask her if she'll sleep with
me, then I'll give her credit.

She agrees.

You didn't ask her.

QUITO: She'll accept.

Won't that disgrace
her more than stealing?

Not necessarily.

You see, her family
suggested it.

STORY: They what?

What about her fiancee?

QUITO: Buy him a car,
and he'll forget her.

What am I getting into here.

You make it sound all sewn up.

[speaking japanese]

QUITO: She says she's
staying the night, unless you

want to hear she's been beaten.

And your pachinko parlor
will be held responsible.

You might lose your
license, and it might

effect your other premises.

Where is she going?

I told her you live upstairs.

Jesus.

That's an unrecognizable
blasphemy in Japan.

Do you need an interpreter
in the bedroom?

No, thank you.

Not unless you'd
like to participate.

If it helps to get rid of her.

God, I always
thought the Japanese

had an overdeveloped
sense of shame.

Only from our point
of view, not yours.

And you are a foreigner, so in
this case shame doesn't enter

into it unless we want it to.

[speaking japanese]

Quito, what is she saying?

QUITO: She says, she
doesn't use contraceptives.

Send her away.

She's a lesbian.
-What?

You speak?

QUITO: I am not a lesbian.

Of course, I speak English.

But you whispered.

It's an old routine.

I've known her too long.

She's always been a misery.

Kiss me.

[music playing]

I can't believe she's female.

She is a man.

She couldn't hide
it, at least, how--

how would she know where--

QUITO: Training,
observation, fulfilling

all the female stereotypes
invented by men.

You're too cynical.

Can she-- he-- be married?

Possibly.

Though you'd never see his wife.

He wouldn't much either, work
and rehearsal, dedication.

Are you all right?

[speaking japanese]

What did she say?

She says impossible.

What's impossible?

[speaking japanese]

[speaking japanese]

She says she wants to
be a female impersonator.

Whatever for?

[speaking japanese]

[speaking japanese]

She wants to be more
female than she is.

Strange ambition.

MR. EVENTAL: Isn't
she female enough?

He has to act, she is.

Tell her she's beautiful.

Tell her.

Is that always the way
you start a courtship?

It's the truth.

[speaking japanese]

Quito said you are
interested in her body.

Watch out, Quito.

What are we paying you?

Watch out, Story.

I am jealous.

STORY: You have no right to
be jealous of a woman who

wants to be more of
a woman by watching

a man dressed up as a woman.

Complicated, eh?

What we need now is an
earthquake to clear the air?

[screaming]

[crashing]

My, God.

How the hell did you do that?

Coincidence.

Oh, you bring bad luck.

Call up an earthquake
and he will follow

you all the days of your life.

Teach me all about
kabuki, and I--

we-- will help you become
more like him-- her.

To be more female than
you think you are.

Watch out, kabuki
lover, you are

in for some sexual experiments.

Shut up, Simito.

What are we watching
but sexual experiment?

[hushing]

My feet ache.

I'm not-- I'm not used
to so much walking.

Do I have to walk anymore?

What are you doing?

MR. EVENTAL: Doing?

I'm not doing anything.

I'm watering my coffee.

No, I can't make it taste
any worse than it does.

You can't sit there
and be miserable.

Well I can't walk anymore.

I've seen too many
shrines and they're

no comfort because
they're not my religion.

Oh, God, father, why
don't you go and lie down?

MR. EVENTAL: You're using
the word God an awful lot

these days.

Is it significant for you?

I had hoped it was going
to be significant for me,

but, alas, no.

For me it is only etymologically
interesting as dog backwards.

Dad, stop being petulant.

Come, Mr. Evental.

Watch TV with us.

TV?

I don't want it in Europe.

Why should I want
to watch it here?

I didn't know you could do it
like that, outside of novels

and Swedish cinema.

God, dad.

Where have you been
all these years?

With your mother.

She was passionate enough,
but, I guess, you know,

perhaps a little unadventurous.

I bet it was your fault.
You were probably very lazy.

Come to think of it,
perhaps with your mother

I was too easily satisfied.

I need some help, do you think?

Some retraining.

Is that what you're doing?

Is that the Japanese custom?

Do you have to be Japanese?

Excuse me, Simito.

[laughter]

How on Earth could
you believe that?

I gave it a great
deal of thought.

It sort of excited me, but
anatomically I was worried.

Well, I think we're
just going to have to put

you out of your racist misery.

Is she really Japanese?

And there are some
100 million Japanese

women who are no longer
Japanese because they're--

I don't want your mother's
prejudices broadcast around,

but I am delighted to find
that your mother was wrong.

God, I'm going to be sick.

STORY: That's not
very complementary.

Show you my girlfriend's
private parts

and you rush off to be sick.

I'm sorry.

I was suddenly filled with such
intense and desperate longing

that all my insides heaved.

Do you know, I'm
amazed, in a way,

to think that you can
really be sick with grief.

Perhaps it was too
much in-flight alcohol.

That was four days ago.

Slow stomach.

Ah.

[rumbling]

[screaming]

MR. EVENTAL: What's happening.

It's an Earthquake.

And for me, it's the best yet.

[non-english speech]

Look, there's no one about.

Street's empty.

Can't.

See much damage.

All day long the noise of cattle
rolled amongst the mountains

down to the winter sea.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Nebuchadnezzar ate grass.

Smells like teen spirit.

Oh, yellow [inaudible]!

Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough.

Get into bed.

We must celebrate my
third earthquake success.

Success?

I survived my third earthquake.

Well, what makes you think
their yours exclusively?

You, father, have
a lot to learn.

We must make the earth
shake and quake for you.

Have you shaved?

I-- I don't need to shave.

Her skin is very delicate.

Well my-- my beard has hardly
grown since your mother died.

OK, we'll show you what to do.

What do you mean?

Um, could I have a light
less bright, do you think?

Let's lose those
slippery sheets.

No, let's not.

Suppose there's another
earthquake we'd be exposed.

With the experiences
you're about to have

you're not supposed to
know the difference.

How can we do it again?

Find your own woman.

It was a special
earthquake anniversary.

I got carried away.

Simito got carried away.

Don't earthquakes make you
feel very excited indeed?

No, infactically not.

The ultimate chance event.

In this country you
know they're coming,

but nobody, absolutely
nobody, no expert,

no geologist, no public
relations-man, no politician

knows when.

No predictions.

No givable odds.

Amazing.

And besides, what about mother?

Yes.

Well that's a very
brief answer for you.

Just what are you doing, Story?

You said you wanted
to educate me.

You keep giving me the
most delightful presents,

and then you take them away.

Think of all those empty
bedrooms you've got in Geneva,

and you once carelessly
mentioned concubines.

I suspect there are quite
a few Japanese ladies who

would like to come to Europe.

But what would
your mother think?

Don't tell her.

STORY: Look out for me.

I want somebody warm with
a good body temperature.

Did you know that male
temperatures are higher

than female temperatures?

No cold feet, literally
or metaphorically.

There's a woman in the Ocean
Fire Insurance office company

I've always been intrigued by.

Where's a great deal of
plaid, though I'm certain

she's not Scottish.

I'm sure she's Norwegian.

Do now know any Norse?

Most Scandinavian
speak very good English.

Norse probably disappeared
over 1,000 years ago.

Look.

We're under surveillance.

Do I look guilty of anything?

This Norwegian Scottish
woman was under surveillance

for embezzlement.

Teresa's her name, or Griselda.

If it wasn't Griselda
it ought to have been.

She was good, fine fingers.

One day she put a poultice
on my forage and my feet

in a basin of cold
water with salt.

I wasn't feeling at all well.

And then she made me a
complicated drink that

sent me to sleep at my desk.

Was this merely
solicitous, do you think?

Or was she trying
to get to the safe?

She was charged, and
I think indicted.

I must see what I can do.

You must help me
there Mr. Expert.

Do you think I ever get to see
an in-flight Fellini movie?

I would be curious about one
of those Jane Austen women,

you know?

Long suffering, dutiful, but
all right in the end, and plump.

19th century type, five foot
four, ringlets, brown eyes,

long fingers.

Raw sex is the last thing
you're going to encounter

in a Jane Austen women.

Rubbish.

Absolute rubbish.

A long white dress that
starts under the breasts

and travels on interminably
down so the legs

are entirely mysterious.

I mean, she could have one
leg or two inside that dress.

Jane Austen could be incredibly
passionate inside that dress.

And you would never know
if she had feet, which

you could not say about Mio.

Mio?

This could be your room.

You have a view of the
garden and the moat.

You will feel very comfortable.

The rising sun shines
directly through the window.

Dickens?

God, no.

A Dickens hero would never let
you see her sitting on the loo.

I think a Jane Austen
heroine just might.

She could end up like
a Thomas Hardy woman,

victims, start bad,
finish much worse.

Lots of tears.

Clotilde?

Can you go to room
for and ask Mio to get

undressed and take a bath.

I don't speak the
language, Mr. Evental.

Hm, neither do we.

I must get Quito to come over.

No, we mustn't.

She'll have us all audited.

Thomas Hardy was interested
in selling women.

That's auditing for
you, the ultimate audit.

Sell your wife.

I found out her
name, [inaudible].

Such a modern name.

It sounds Romanian.

STORY: Sounds like someone
who's had a sex change.

She's a retired nun.

Retired?

How on Earth could
she be retired?

She's bound to enjoy
scrubbing, look at her hands.

They aught to be aloud
to scrub a great deal.

She's like all those nun
paintings, the starched linen,

plucked brows, and sharp
pins and pink flesh,

and the wet eyes, the
devotional glance, and modesty

that conceals a body that still
has breasts and pubic hair.

The contrast is so exciting.

Oh, she's certainly a bed
maker, clean sheets flying

in the air in the sunlight.

She'd be an angel
making her bed forever.

She owes the bank
140,000 pounds.

How do you know?

Oh, come on.

How does a bank
manager know secrets?

STORY: Let's tempt her.

Offer her a loan, high interest.

See how she reacts,
and then more.

Make sure she doubles the debt,
and then offer her a way out.

Whiter, much whiter,
like milk, or snow.

And make her lips
very, very small.

So small I couldn't even get
my little finger between them.

Are we doing this
correctly, do you think?

Should we paint her entire
body white, do you think?

God, let's do it anyway.

No, Clotilde, not here.

Its most out of place.

I tell you what, take
it to bedroom one.

No, six, in preparation.

A token.

We must find
somewhere to fit it.

Stand it at the end of the bed
and surrounded it in flowers,

poppies, Renwah flowers.

Are poppies in season?

No, Mr. Evental.

Runway's films like?

He was the director who said,
every man has his reasons.

Do we have reasons?

No, you just have lust.

[inhaling]

Oh, beautiful.

It smells of canaries.

Lapsang souchong.

The smell of my watch strap
after a game of squash.

Mice.

Horse hair cushions.

Brown sugar just unwrapped
out of a damp paper bag.

Burnt eggs.

No, [inaudible] to it.

I get sexual indigestion.

I can't stand more than
one naked woman at a time.

It reminds me of a pig
farmer, or a cattle market,

or one of those terrible
concentration camp.

STOREY: Good Lord look at that.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL:
Would you believe it?

In the 1990's/

[horn honking]

[horse whinnies]

PHILIP EMMENTHAL:
What's her name?

Caspar.

Caspar?

Oh, no.

Sorry.

That's the name of the horse.

Is he all right?

What is the name
of your horse doing

on your hospital charge sheet?

He's not my horse.

He's not your horse?

Then whose horse is it?

I stole him.

STOREY: You stole him?

Hey, why don't you come
and convalesce with us?

We can provide you with a
new horse, a physiotherapist.

You could do
therapy in our pool.

The horse could do
therapy in our pool.

Where are you going?

To buy some flowers.

Flowers aren't going to help.

Yes, they are.

Clothilde says
flowers always help.

Good evening.

Beautiful.

Excuse me?

You are looking so beautiful.

Thank you.

Pregnancy makes you
beautiful, don't you think?

You know, wake
up, having babies.

This is the sixth.

The sixth?

You must have an
understanding husband.

No husband.

Oh?

Artificial insemination.

No, too impersonal.

Are you offering?

No.

I mean, well I could.

But, I'd like to.

Can I?

And the children?

Three adopted, two
with their Father's.

You could think about it.

Nice hair.

Do you still go to church?

No.

Do you still say your prayers?

No.

Do you still believe in Hell?

Depends what you mean by still?

I've never believed in Hell.

Then you believe you will
not pay for your sins?

Not in Hell, only in Earth.

However, I've always
believed in Heaven.

Heaven on Earth.

And you, Griselda,
are a piece of heaven.

But?

But what?

And don't take this religion
too seriously, it's a pose.

No, it is not.

It is a way of life.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Griselda is becoming a nun in
her heart, as well as her body.

Then I'm already
jealous of God.

Jealousy?

It'll destroy you.

A fellow?

Complimentary tickets .

I'm the financial secretary
of the friends of the Geneva

Opera, obligations to attend.

You bored us all
in Kyoto, Storey,

by taking us to the kabuki.

It's my turn to bore you.

We go to the opera.

The whole firm will go.

Dress up, the full complement.

Now please leave us.

Devout, inestible Griselda
has a higher calling to make.

I'm taking Clauthilde.

Oh, whatever for?

It's obvious she
would want to come.

I understand the thoroughbred
was worth nearly half a

million dollars owned
by a Saudi Arabian.

Now, there are some
people who prize

their horses above their women.

Punishments in Saudi
Arabia can be harsh.

An eye for an eye.

A horse for a horse.

A horse for a woman.

No, I don't think we
need to go quite that far.

And, as it happens, we
were able to return it.

Caspar?

Caspar.

There were questions
asked, and the owners

have a pretty shrewd idea
who stole their horse.

It seems you've done it before.

They did not understand what
a sensitive horse they had.

They had no idea.

He needed affection.

Perhaps.

Are they downstairs?

No, no, I don't think
so, at least not yet.

Not yet?

Who are those people?

I am accused of
unethical practices.

What may they be?

Well, I like having babies.

So I've noticed.

There are many people in the
world who want to have babies

and can't have them.

So you perform an unusual
philanthropic service.

I'm good at having babies.

Is it so bad to make a living
at what you're good at?

I see.

This time there is a way out.

I can see it coming.

GIACONDA: You can be my husband.

Am I to be responsible
for all six?

No, you can be the
father of just this one.

I have a-- a proposition.

Quite frankly, Mr. Emmenthal,
I am a modern woman.

I do not want to be
deported to Saudi Arabia.

And as long as
horses are Involved,

I think I am prepared
for all eventualities.

However, I have one important
responsibility I cannot

relinquish, I have a pig.

A pig?

Horses and pigs always
get on well together.

They are intelligent animals,
and like one anothers company.

Can you-- can you ride a pig?

Hortense is far to
dignified to be ridden.

However, Hortense and
I have a relationship,

which you might find unusual,
beyond mere affection.

I have no intention of
breaking this relationship.

I see.

Neither does Hortense.

As long as I don't
get too jealous,

and you both take
a bath afterwards,

I can't see that I
need to be difficult.

GIACONDA: Kiss me.

Well that was a husband's
kiss, I suppose.

You could show a
little more passion.

Well-- well I suppose I
better make you an offer.

We-- I will pay for
you to have babies.

No artificial insemination.

And you have come to collect
this child, when it's ready,

of course.

I'm having no interferences.

Of course not.

In that case, could you have
me moved to a nicer room?

I think blue walls.

I'm sure it's going
to be a boy this time.

And I think I charge
$25,000 for a boy.

[screaming]

[hushing]

[singing opera]

(WHISPERING) It's time now.

STOREY: Are you enjoying
the music, Clothilde?

I am enjoying Mr.
Emmenthal's smile.

He was so heartbroken at
the death of his wife.

You could always enjoy
his smile at home.

She was good to me.

I would like to
repay her kindness.

Trying to make her widower,
and his son, happy.

I could never take
Amelia's place entirely,

but I would be honored
to take it in part.

Which part?

Whichever part he wishes.

I would like to ask if I
could be allowed to-- no,

I-- I can't say this.

Go on.

Say it.

To wear her hats.

My mother's hats?

That's all?

Just her hats?

In bed.

Nothing else.

PALMIRA: I know you, don't I?

At least, I know
your father, Philip.

These all your girlfriends?

Oriental specialities.

Best of luck.

You're all very restless.

You weren't taking them to
the gents for a fuck were you?

One's crying her eyes out.

What have you done to her?

It's her birthday.

Well, that explains everything.

She's sentimental, likes
horses, and especially pigs,

apparently.

Can you get us
something to drink?

Yes.

I really did know your
father three years ago.

I held his hand at a passing out
ceremony on a very big stage.

I told him where to stand.

He was very awkward.

I always liked the
way he swung his legs.

Always thought he'd
do himself an injury.

I asked him to sleep with me.

I laid it all on for him.

I bought my toothbrush and a
clean pair of knickers round

to his hotel room in Utrecht.

Or was it Berlin?

However, he turned me down.

All manner of
ridiculous excuses,

like he was happily married.

Wasted a golden opportunity.

However, never say die.

I've looked forward to french
kissing him ever since.

[laughter]

Desdemona.

Meet Simon, the
singing cockerel.

Simon has no shame.

He says I will always be
the favorite white women

he loves to undress.

And he does it as
often as he can,

which is often, and everywhere,
and in the most unlikely

places.

Only he goes on tour, and he
has a wife, don't you, Simon?

And he makes me wait for the
services of his big black cock

and the delights of his
magnificence singing,

of course.

Or is it the other way around?

So, how is your father?

Why don't you come and see?

He's not black.

That's true.

And he can't sing.

Not that it would matter.

You could always cock his
face and pinch his backside

and he might give you a dark
stair and a little scream.

He used to stroke
his little round

belly with a secular motion.

I'd like to do the same.

Tell him.

What would you say if I'd
like to share the attentions?

Perhaps.

Are you his natural heir?

I am his heir, naturally
and unnaturally.

Financially?

Financially.

What have you got that
I've never seen before?

You're free to go, Palmira.

You're free to go.

PALMIRA: I'll be your
number four private whore

for one year for $75,000.

No possible demands denied.

Impossible ones considered.

I have a high pain tolerance,
but don't abuse it.

The greater your invention,
the greater mine.

I'll look after
the conversation.

Never trust an old man.

Unreasonable?

If I'm sharing your prick I
want medical checks every week

by a qualified doctor.

And I want my privacy
when I need it.

And I want to sleep
late, very late.

And I want to travel.

So, Philip I want to see what
I missed three years ago.

You can have me on approval.

Open the window.

I need fresh air.

[inaudible] Storey Emmenthal.

Let's see what tune
your father sings,

and how he's going
to sing it with me.

KITO: It's OK.

It's all expensive.

Who's goddamn expenses?

Tax deductible.

From Kensai or
from Geneva airport?

STOREY: Jesus.

From Paris.

But that's hours
away by helicopter.

I bought, uh--

Put her in room six.

We'll fix somewhere
for her later.

STOREY: My God.

What have you done
with the baby?

KITO: What baby?

STOREY: God, who are you?

My, God, Kito.

You're in Kyoto.

KITO: Oh, stop that.

STOREY: Stop what?

KITO: I'm too tired for
that and you're drunk.

STOREY: You're not
supposed to be in here.

This is Giaconda's room.

KITO: I'm staying a few nights.

I arrived from the sky.

STOREY: I'll stay a few
nights just to warm you up.

I'll wait a little bit just
in case Giaconda comes back.

She's probably gone for a pee.

Pregnant women spend half
the night going to the loo,

did you know that?

KITO: Yes, I did know that.

And with a little
help from you I might

be able to experience it, too.

STOREY: Kito.

Oh, Kito.

You have always surprised me.

Poor thing.

They say she's only
half a person, a midget.

I've heard worse.

Much worse.

That she's a mongerer.

A mongerer?

What you mean?

How come?

If there ever was a
good case for a wash.

I don't understand.

Have you been in that room?

No.

There's no number on the door.

They haven't even given
her a proper name.

They sometimes call a key a
letter after a [inaudible],

about a way for the stray, a
simpleton who plays a trumpet.

You don't thing for a
moment that it's a child.

God, no.

She sounds Korean.

How would you know that?

Kito say she was born
in a pachinko parlor,

and deaf because of
all of the noise.

Kito loves story
to distraction.

I would never believe
anything she says.

Perhaps she's Vietnamese,
a boat person.

What?

Who arrived one morning on
the lake from Hong Kong.

I don't think it's
a woman at all.

I bet it's a man, a transsexual.

And the half refers to
a half man half woman.

Francois says they conceived
it together, the father and son.

Celeste, for God's sake.

Pull the other one

Through the backside.

Ridiculous.

Who was the father then?

Well, he was of
course, the older.

There's more spunk in him
than a cage of chimpanzees.

How do you know that?

I know.

I wanted to be a
candidate once, you know?

Clothilde made it,
but I always suspect

she had an ulterior
motive, being Amelia's

favorite when she was alive.

I went for an audition.

They tried me out, but
they weren't too excited.

I was too willing.

I like the prison life too much.

And I loved the clothes.

I even liked the
humiliations, you know?

No.

I don't.

Hot drink and chocolate
followed by the ice cubes.

You know the stuff.

Picking up handkerchiefs off
the floor with your teeth

when you're naked.

Ugh.

Gallons of hot water, string
vests, and wet t-shirts,

and nipple clips.

Shaved belly, all the cliches.

Oh, you've seen
them in the cinema

and read about them
in the newspapers,

standing on your
head, milk bathing.

Putting on excess weight.

Sounds like a [inaudible].

Could be.

In a way.

STOREY: Good night, sleep tight,
make sure the bugs don't bight.

Good night, sleep tight, make
sure the bugs don't bite.

Good night, sleep tight, make
sure the bugs don't bite.

There's no wildlife in this
house that's not licensed,

and stop banging the doors.

I have to kiss everyone on the
backside before I go to sleep.

It's an acknowledgment
of possession.

Including the pig?

Hortense has a nice backside,
but it is reserved for Beryl.

Simato, Griselda, Beryl,
Giaconda, Palmira, Mio,

Kito, Guilietta, Clothilde.

Eight and a half women.

I bet you'd never kiss Palmira.

On the backside.

Oh, I'd like to.

My, God, I'd like to.

Can't you put a word in for me?

Oh, please?

And she's taken partially
shaving her belly,

showing evidence of the
most delightful kind.

Did you ask her to do that?

My, God.

Why does she have to walk around
the house naked like that?

And in the garden?

Simato, Griselda, Beryl,
Giaconda, Mio, Giulietta,

Kito, Clothilde, and Palmira.

Divorce, beheaded, died.

Divorced, beheaded, survived.

Those are Henry
the eights wives.

Catharine of
Aragon, Anne Bolyne,

Jane Seymour, Anne
of Cleves, Catherine

something, and Catherine Parr.

Go to sleep.

You know those great passions?

Those unbelievable
sexual passions,

like Antony and
Cleopatra, or Henry

the eighth and Ann Bolyne.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

Palmira.

Palmira.

Palmira.

Palmira.

Palmira.

Oh, Palmira.

Palmira.

PALMIRA: I think you
can say with safety

that nowadays women have finally
acknowledged their position

of not liking men.

We could say that
women don't like men.

They acknowledge
that they prefer

the company of their own kind.

I think we can also say that
most men don't like other men.

Most men prefer to like women.

So women are the most
liked by the most people.

Men love women,
women love children,

and children love hamsters.

It's a one way slide.

There's little going
back the other way.

Simato and Mio insist
on speaking Japanese.

That's an improvement.

Mio normally
doesn't talk at all.

We'll have to get Kito
to stay here permanently.

The very threat
might make them talk.

Mr. Emmenthal, I am offering a
refuge to these ladies in need.

This is Sister Mary.

This is Sister Sophie.

This is Sister Iphigenia.

And this is Sister Fatima.

They are here to pray for the
house and all who live in it.

God.

Father of Christ.

Griselda, this is
becoming obsession.

You started it.

MR. EMMENTHAL: My
fantasy has no God in it,

just naked nuns, the fascination
of the wimple in the flesh.

God is everywhere, Mr. Emanuel.

It's Emmenthal, Jesus Christ.

NUNS: The Son of God.

Excuse me, sisters.

I am bound at this
moment by certain duties

to these gentlemen.

My benefactors who
rescued me from perfidy,

and danger, and confusion.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Clothilde
has left the servants quarters

and taken to sleeping
in room seven.

All your mothers hats have
been taken as a signal

that she's ready.

STOREY: Watch out for Clothilde.

There's something creepy about
her, far too subservient.

It's unnatural.

Well you were the one who
was so eager to include her.

I think we should
inaugurate a chapel.

I have plans where the
12 stations of the cross

should go in the garden
and along the drive.

I think we could well
create a religious community.

I could be an example to
others, an object of suffering.

She's pregnant again.

This time she's not certain
who the father is, me or you.

She wants to abort at once.

Simato's complaining again.

She's sitting on the
top step demanding

attention, complaining
that I don't wash my prick.

Said she's frightened
to have cervical cancer.

Now where she'd
get that idea from?

STOREY: Palmira?

Good, God.

My prick gets more washing
than a dish sock in a laundry.

Ask Griselda.

She fills her mouth
every morning with soap.

STOREY: OK, I've heard enough.

You never used to
be so crude, father.

I'd like to borrow 800 francs
to buy Mr. Emmenthal a present.

Anything less would
not be worthy of him.

What are you going to buy him?

He has everything.

I don't think he has happiness.

Goodness, who on
Earth has that?

I do.

KITO: You do?

All right.

For someone that rich, you
can have 1,000 francs at 4.5

interest over three months.

That woman's insides must
be like a traffic accident.

STOREY: I've never
understood Beryl.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Beryl?

Which one's Beryl?

STOREY: Number
five's [inaudible].

The one you knocked
off her horse.

Why do you keep
changing their names?

I don't.

Isn't her name Beryl?

This is very good, Clothilde.

Thank you, Mr. Emmenthal.

Don't be so patronizing.

She's very solicitous.

Patronizing?

I was paying her a compliment.

Do you think Clothilde could
be trying to poison me?

You're fantasizing.

If she kills you it'll
be with over-feeding.

Did you noticed Kito
counting her money.

I've always noticed
her spending ours.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL:
There's a suitcase

under her bed full of US
bonds and large Swiss notes.

She'd become a money
lender, charges interest.

They're moving out of
Emmenthal debt into Kito.

Debt.

Miss?

Miss Kito, we've come
to ask for a loan.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: And she
says, how do you want to do it?

From the front or behind?

And I said a little from the
front, and a lot from behind.

Do you want to do
it in the garden?

or by the pool?

Or do you want to
lie in the grass?

She says.

I say, yes.

Or, do you want me,
perhaps, to stand?

She says.

Yes, I say.

Or do you want me to sit
with my heels in the air?

Yes, I say.

Yes to what?
She says.

Yes to everything, I say.

Then I will, she says.

And she does, just like that.

My, God.

STOREY: Can she swim?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL:
Can money swim?

STOREY: Value?

KITO: Depends how
you look at it.

Medal balls, no value at all.

To a pachinko parlor
player, 60,000 US,

dollars 100,000 French francs,
or merely 8 million Japanese

Yen.

I'm going to shout.

Don't.

You'll lose the stake.

She's bluffing.

Toronto.

Keeping me here, Storey,
is losing your money.

Hands over foot.

Oh, for God's sakes,
it's hand over fist.

What on earth are you doing?

Oh, bloody hell.

Can't you guess?

I'm-- I'm trying to look
like that boyfriend of hers.

For Christ's sake.

You're ridiculous.

I know.

I'm desperate.

She will laugh you to derision.

I know.

She mustn't leave me.

I'd be destitute.

You couldn't compete.

He's her age, has sexual
charisma like a house on fire,

and no doubt a 12 inch cock.

Wash that stuff off at
once and be in my bed

in 6 and 1/2 minutes flat.

I want my bottom
smacked tonight,

real hard with a tennis racket.

Mio wants you to dress up
as a female impersonator.

And then she says
she could possibly

love you with enthusiasm.

My, God.

Why all this charade?

If you want life
out of her do it.

[wailing]

[speaking japanese]

KITO: She says you are a man.

But of course I'm a man.

But she wanted
you to be a woman.

Complicated, eh?

KITO: You dress as a woman.

You've been asked to act,
however badly, as a woman,

But you are a cheat.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Well,
of course I'm a cheat.

That's the whole point of
the exercise, isn't it?

Not for Mio.

She's a disappointed lady.

STOREY: Listen, listen, listen.

She's known as both
carnally as men.

How can she forget so soon?

She didn't forget.

Your ability to transfer hope
into truth was very strong.

You have been a
huge disappointment.

She's very disturbed.

Take great care of
her, or you lose her.

I'm thinking of
making a film about all

this, our experiences.

Why make a film
when you can live it.

Most films are about people
longing for something

that they haven't got.

And what most people haven't
got is sex and happiness,

We've go both.

Well at least I have.

See what I mean?

Oh, hell.

Who'd give you
the money, anyway?

You would.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Think she's
trying to tell us something?

SIMATO: OK.

I've done my [inaudible].

Now I want freedom.

I was the first.

I gave you all the inspiration.

It was my idea.

I want out.

This is what I want.

This is what I want.

No more patriarchal patronage.

No more patriarchal patronage.

No more male stereotyping.

No more male stereotyping.

God, I want the female
free pachinko parlor.

And a [inaudible], and
I want it tomorrow.

Today.

Today.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: My God.

She's fantastic.

I'm in love.

I don't want to hear about her.

I can't get near
her, except to look,

which is a disaster because
it starts me trembling.

I am an earthquake.

And you got what you wanted.

All this jealousy's
wearing me out.

I used to be happy,
once upon a time.

You don't want Palmira to feel
she's getting the upper hand.

Though, now you're in love
with her she obviously has.

She was the only one we didn't
choose, and now she's queen.

I want a plan to
keep her forever.

Well you could always
get her singing boyfriend

to come and live here.

Then we'd never
ever get a look in.

I'm too miserable
to be here anymore.

Let's go to Kyoto.

It's the earthquake season.

I want to be shook up.

I'm missing something.

Mio!

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Mio!

Mio!

STOREY: Mio!

Mio!

BOTH: Mio!

Mio!

PHILIP EMMENTHAL:
It's like Shelley.

Japanese Ophelia, beautiful,
oriental lady in the lake.

She was the very best.

The most submissive.

She was my first wife.

Oh, come on.

That's not true.

You forget my mother
much too soon.

Given the circumstances,
then she was my second wife.

She was never your wife.

Well with everything but a
license and a tax exempt form.

She was the first woman after.

35 years that I
consistently made love to.

She had such a beautiful open
number, so small, so delicate,

such a beautiful color.

It was like plum blossom.

It was like pushing your prick
into a plum blossom flower.

Shut up.

You hate flowers.

And plums repeat on you.

She looks more
beautiful now than ever.

Why on Earth did she do it?

she had all she wanted.

No, she didn't.

We took away all her shoes.

Because they were
rotting on the lawn.

Was that a suicide matter?

We'll get her some shoes.

There you are, Mio.

As many shoes as you like.

Get walking, Mio.

You're going in the lake.

Did you know,
whatever the event,

we're all supposed to react
to every disappointment

in exactly the same way.

First, shock.

Oh, my God.

Then self pity, poor me.

Then anger, you bastards.

Then apathy, oh, what the hell?

And then some sort
of resurrection

of the spirit, I'll never let
the buggers grime me down.

It's the same with Mio's death.

Oh, my god.
Poor me.

You bastards.
Oh, what the hell.

I'll never let the
buggers grind me down.

Giaconda's pregnant again.

We've got to lose her.

STOREY: Take her to
the airport and put

her on a plane, any plane.

I couldn't stand another
baby problem with her again.

Father, she's just too fertile.

Sticking pins in dark corners
is not for me anymore.

Stick a pin in the
plane timetable.

Saarbrucken.

Oh, no, that won't do.

Grenoble?

That's even closer, you fool.

Venice.

No, she can't swim.

She doesn't like film or art.

Bangkok.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Not
bad, a bit obvious.

Sex capital of Asia.

STOREY: No, I'm not sending
her there, poor obstetrics.

How do you know that.

I'm not having my child
dragged out with forceps,

dropped in a wok of noodles,
and called Chang Lee.

Well it may be my child.

Well, you having your child
dragged out with forceps?

You were.

I watched your little,
yellow face squashed up,

like an overripe lemon.

I swear you even had pips.

If you're so keen on
the delivery of this baby

why don't we keep it?

Punta del Faro.

Well where the hell's that?

I don't know.

It sounds warm and
South American.

She loves kiwi fruit, doesn't
drink tea, suffers from Asthma.

There's bound to be clean air.

Sounds right.

And they love children.

Everyone loves children.

Do we love children?

Cathay Pacific, first
class, $2000 one way.

Done.

We're going on a
trip to New York.

You'd like that.

Here's $5,000.

Buy some baby clothes.

And order a cot-- no,
two, in case it's twins.

And you'll need nappies.

Buy 1,000 nappies,
then you wouldn't

have to do any washing,
just throw them all away.

Well that's not
very ecological.

Well recycle them then.

Here's another $5,000.

Buy a recycler.

What's that?

Well whatever they are you're
bound to find them in New York.

Mr. Emmenthal, we've
been watching you.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Who are you?

The vice squad?

You sound guilty.

We understand you help
women in financial trouble.

Do I?

We, too, are debt
collectors, like you.

Am I a debt collector?

And we're convinced you're
harboring one of our clients.

She's responsible for a
series of confidence frauds.

She operates often with
a black opera singer.

She has various names, Laura
Decker, Theresa Decker.

Clarissa Venrang.

Her specialty is in
offering sexual services

and sexual rewards
to elderly bankers

and wealthy financial people.

We understand
you're the chairman

of the Emmenthal
financial services

and consolidates bank, Geneva.

As debt collectors,
we can offer

you 2.5% of recovery costs.

I am Laura Decker.

Though, now I call
myself Palmira.

What?

But--

No buts.

I'd like to do this
for you Mr. Emmenthal.

It's a little I can do
to repay your kindnesses,

to make you happy.

I have done my business here.

Drink your milkshake.

I'll go, and pack, and leave.

I understand where your love
truly lies , Mr. Emmenthal.

But, Clothilde?

What was all that about?

What was all that about?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Clothilde.

STOREY: What about Clothilde?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL:
They've taken her away.

I was desperate, Storey.

STOREY: What do you
mean they've taken her?

Should we call the police?

Well, I-- I-- I couldn't
let them take Palmira.

It all happened so quickly.

She didn't even get her coat.

She volunteered.

I-- I could never let
them take Palmira.

STOREY: Who were they?

What were they doing?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Well they--
uh-- they were filmmakers.

They were filmmakers.

They were going to make her
into a famous film star.

They were going to make a
film about Renwah called,

I don't remember.

You sold her.

You sold Clothilde.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: All
this makes my stomach

churn, to think that they
might have taken Palmyra.

You once told me to think about
the women in Thomas Hardy.

Yes, I did.

But, remember, the
mayor of Casterbridge

regretted selling his wife
for the rest of his life.

[pig snorting]

OK, here's the deal,
Kito for the pachinko.

God, that's no deal.

Then blood on your hands.

[gun shot]

You've lost on the decency
trial, [inaudible] trial,

followed by a keeping a
[inaudible] house trial,

And, probably, a tax
exemption supina,

and a visit by the health
authorities, to inland revenue,

customs.

KITO: Possible accusations
of illegal consenting

with my minors.

SIMATO: Breaking of [inaudible].

Sexual harassment.

Trading babies.

Hey, Simato.

Hey yourself.

I want a signature,
legally binding,

handing over this
establishment, lock, stock,

chips, machines, and barrel.

What's barrel?

For storing beer.

Kito has the papers ready.

As always.

Sign here in
front of witnesses.

What witnesses?

They're not watching.

And I want a bonus,
strip to sign.

Strip to sign?

Whatever for?

Naked to the negotiating table.

Naked.

so I can see no pranks, and.

Loses.

Quaint English, they make an
unpredictable linguistic duo.

A man in socks.

Is vulnerable.

He probably won't play tricks.

Think of it as being the last
time for me to see your cocks.

We go out the way we came in.

I remember doing
you the [inaudible]

when this little
adventure started.

Bend over.

You did it voluntarily.

Bend over.

Kito is the witness.

Thank you, Kito.

KITO: My pleasure.

Enemies unite in adversary.

KITO: Now make us three
signature monkeys.

SIMATO: OK, you can go.

Goodbye, Philip.

Goodbye, Storey.

Oh, God.

I don't know that
that was so bad.

It's sort of cathartic,
the naked exposure,

don't you think?

But you couldn't do it
voluntarily, would you?

It's under duress, so
somehow legitimate.

Circumstances
beyond our control.

I think I enjoyed that.

[rumbling]

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: My God.

Struck down by an earthquake.

At least it wasn't
our fault this time.

Where was she going?

Pachinko heaven for
chartered accountants.

What's the matter?

STOREY: My God.

Are they getting closer?

She warned me, never
call up an earthquake,

they will follow you all
the days of your life.

Head, face, chest, belly,
sex, legs, feet, and God.

Benedictus, Benedicap--

What are you doing that for?

I'm trying to undo her warning.

But your sympathies for Kito
were never strong, Storey.

She joined us because
of me, not you.

It's my fault. I'm to blame.

She was determined
to be useful.

In her little pajama suit.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: She loved
you desperately, Story.

What are you doing?

I've had enough.

Griselda must go.

She's so Mother Superior now.

She's got a mind like
a sewer, getting me

to confess impossibilities
like your own mother

and my wife slept with priests.

Where did she get that
from, I wonder, Story?

She starts as a novice,
scrubbing convent floors.

Puts on a wimple,
shaves her body,

becomes a nun in
appearance, then in deed.

Now she wants to become a Saint.

I'm going to kill her.

She wants a martyr's death.

STOREY: She's only done what
you wanted, taken your fantasies

and run with them to the
point of logical exhaustion.

Father, for God's sake.

No, for mine.

She's not in her room.

She's gone, and she's
taken the children.

Where's she's gone, I wonder.

Heaven?

No, they wouldn't let her in.

We would like to
establish that a friend,

an acquaintance of ours,
is presently there,

to set our minds at rest.

Because-- because this
person was very dear to us.

Is it possible to
speak with her?

Sister Concordia?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Concordia?

She was trouble and strife.

Now this Sister Concordia
is beside me now.

I have allowed her to write
down her answers for you.

You are allowed
three questions only.

You must keep them very short.

OK.

Question one.

Do you have there
presently a Sister

Griselda of Fontana, Geneva.

We have no Griselda here.

We have no visitors
but Concordia,

and she's under a
preferred vow of silence.

Question two.

OK, that doesn't count.

All right.
All right.

All right.

OK, does this novice
Sister Concordia

have a foreign accent?

Norwegian?

Swedish?

Scandinavian?

If she's under a vow of
silence how can I know?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Jesus.

The Son of God.

Was that a question?

STOREY: Can we be certain
that Sister Novice Concordia

will keep her vow of silence?

You can provide eternal
and everlasting silence

with an annual
donation of $25,000

to the Children's
Charity of Santa Lucia.

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Let her go.

Let her get away.

STOREY: I admire
her independence.

Taking nothing.

It's not true.

She's taking a horse.

Perhaps she's
running to Austria.

She was Austrian, wasn't she?

I've always had severe
problems with Austrian's.

They're negative people,
musical, churchy, uptight,

authoritarian, who insist that
their dust bins are very clean.

And then there was one.

STOREY: Correction,
one and a half.

[humming]

How do you want to do it?

Oh, my God.

PALMIRA: From the front?

Or from behind?

What do you do?

And how do you do it, Palmira?

Oh, my God.

Heaven.

Ecstasy.

Paradise.

Monte Carlo.

Monte Carlo?

In the garden on the grass?

In the pool?

Or in here?

It's never going to get better.

Do you want me to sit down?

Or stand up?

Do you want to lie down
with my heels in the air,

toes pointing East and West?

PHILIP EMMENTHAL: Yes.

Yes to what?

Yes to everything.

Then I will.

I think I'm going to
quit while I'm ahead.

Would you mind very much?

Yes, I would.

You're being selfish.

I love you, Palmira.

I love you.

You can't do it simply
by holding your breath.

[laughing]

I love your laugh, Palmira.

[non-english speech]

Pardon?

It's Fellini's film,
eight and a half.

PALMIRA: Philip?

Why did you reject me
those three years ago

in Berlin, or Paris, Palermo,
Naples, or somewhere else

in Luxembourg perhaps?

I was always frightened
of the possibility

of too much pleasure.

OK.

That'll do.

Good answer.

I love you, Palmira.

[humming]

Hey.

Phillip.

Stop sleeping on the job.

[laughing]

OK.

All right.

I love you, too.

Goodbye.

Story?

Palmira?

This is the first time
I've been officially

invited into this room.

Officially?

That means you've been
here unofficially.

No matter.

It's all over now.

What's all over?

Your father's dead.

Rubbish.

No, he isn't.

He's still sleeping.

I'm going to make breakfast.

Now that everybody's gone.

Father, wake up.

Your toast is burning.

Get out of bed at once, father.

I won't tell you again.

Wake up, father.

Your bloody toast is burning.

OK.

It's breakfast.

His toast.

I ate it whilst
it was still warm,

and now he's growing cold.

Now, I suspect I shall
get bored here, Storey.

Very bored.

Now that the old man is dead.

Silence.

No reason to stay anymore.

The King is dead.

Long live the King?

I doubt it.

You don't do anything
I like, Storey.

Your body's too simple.

Not enough lived in, too
straight, too unused.

There's no excitement in you
for me, Mr. Emmenthal Junior.

My most favorite white
woman in the world

that I would like to undress.

It has been one year, 72 days,
four hours, and 20 minutes

since I last kissed this
magnificent landscape.

And--

[laughing]

Shall I sing that for you?

No, not in front
of the children.

Pachinko, pachinko,
pachinko, pachinko.

How are you today?

Have you eaten enough?

Porridge?

Muesli?

Baked beans?

No toast?

OK, we're going to
rechristen you today.

Our oriental period is
over, and Julietta no more.

[rumbling]

STOREY: Don't worry.

It's traffic vibration.

Sit still.

It's a thunderstorm.

Yes.

You don't get
earthquakes in Geneva.

At last!

Oh, benedictus,
benidicat [inaudible],

Christian, dominom, nostrum.

Amen.

[laughing]

[music playing]