Original subtitles

[Atmospheric music plays]

♪

[Cellphone chimes]

♪

- [Chuckles softly]

♪

- [Sighs] It is so hot tonight.

I think I might melt like an ice cream.

- Look, I'm sorry about the time, Thomas.

I'm finished now.

- [Speaks Parisian French]

I don't shut till 10:30.

I don't mind how long you stay.

It's good to know there is someone else

for her to stare at.

- Pardon? - Her.

- [Chuckles]

- She leaves for Paris tomorrow,

and I will not be sad to see her go.

- Yeah. Hathor's on tour. The goddess of intoxication.

- Ooh! - The story goes that the sun god Ra

ordered her to destroy all humanity

because of their bad behavior. - [Speaks Parisian French]

- But just at the last minute, Ra changed his mind.

So he decided to flood a field with beer.

And he died it red.

So she thought she was gorging on the blood of humankind.

But actually, she was getting very, very drunk.

Humanity was saved by a hangover.

- [Chuckles]

[Whispers] Also, rumor has it

that every Hathor statue is cursed.

- Oh.

Well, like I said, I will be glad to see her leaving.

- [Chuckles] - [Horn honking]

Oh.

- Looks like your young man is here for you.

- Oh, no. No, he's not my young man.

H-He's just a really good friend.

- [Chuckles]

- Yeah, well. Thanks, Thomas. Good night.

[Chuckles softly]

[Pensive music plays]

♪

- [Scoffs] Just good friends, huh? Mm.

[Chuckles softly]

♪

[Light switch clicks]

[Lock clicks]

[Suspenseful music plays]

♪

[Exhales deeply]

[Claps hands]

♪

[Alarm blaring]

♪

[Blaring continues]

[Object clattering]

♪

[Theme music plays]

- ♪ Do you remember the first time ♪

♪ That my eyes set on you? ♪

♪ Your smile came from nowhere ♪

♪ For sometime never ♪

♪ For sometime soon ♪

♪ The road is a long one ♪

♪ I was only passing through ♪

♪ I was only passing through ♪

- Very exciting, isn't it?

You remember the ones on the telly?

I wish I'd dressed up a bit now, you know?

- What do you mean?

- Well, when you see an auction on the telly,

the punters all get dressed up, don't they?

Have their hair done. - But you're not on the telly.

- It's not about being on the telly, is it?

It's out of respect for all the stuff.

- I blame you for his recent interest in boxes of rubbish.

- [Chuckles] - Treasure, Glo. Not rubbish.

- [Laughs]

- Thank you so much for this, Jean.

With Jeremy's birthday next week,

I just didn't know what to buy him.

- Well, when I saw that box of Victorian ephemera,

I thought that would be perfect

for Jeremy's phantasmagoria room. [Chuckles]

Oh, Gloria, I meant to tell you.

Thank you so much for letting us use your van.

- Oh, you're welcome, love.

Mind you, I have no idea where I'm going to put that.

- Oh, Jean, by the way,

when can I pick up my sapphire necklace?

Nancy's daughter's getting married tomorrow.

It's supposed to be her "something borrowed".

- Anytime. It's at the shop. - Oh, marvelous.

- [Speaking Parisian French]

- Oh, Jean. I've always wanted to do this.

Can I do the bidding? - Fill your boots.

- [Scoffs]

[Grunts]

How terribly rude.

You'd never see that happen on the television.

[Upbeat music plays]

♪

Eh, voila.

- [Gasps excitedly]

♪

Oh, my God!

♪

Mum?

[Atmospheric music plays]

- Hey. Can I help you sort through the treasure?

- If you want.

- You have found treasure? - Not really.

It's not the best morning we've ever had.

- Athenian red figure. This is not bad at all, Jean.

530 BC. This is everything?

- Just a few more boxes.

- It's that exciting, isn't it? - [Chuckles softly]

[Suspenseful music plays]

- Oh. Hello, Simone.

Don't worry, love. Let's call it even.

I'm not here for you, but I am parched.

I could murder an espresso.

- Oh, uh, um, I will make some coffee.

- I will help you.

- Jean, I need a big favor, and I think you owe me one

after practically accusing me of murder last year.

- Okay. - Right.

Remember our mums live round the corner from one another?

- Yeah. Of course. - Okay, now keep up.

This is the box of Victorian ephemera

that I won at the auction this morning.

- So what's that got to do with our mom's?

- I'm coming to that.

Well, everyone knows that I'm the only one

who collects the weird stuff around here,

and they've slipped something into the box

to send me a message.

- What?

- Me mum's ring. - What?

- That's your mom's actual ring?

- Yes, it's a warning.

Someone at home's after me through my mum.

- A-Are you sure it's her ring? - Absolutely.

Look, it's got her initial on the front.

V for Vera. And... Get your loop.

- Oh, God.

- Look on the inside of the ring.

- "Sing As We Go". Is that the Gracie Fields song?

- Rochdale's finest and me mum's favorite.

Me dad bought it a year ago.

- Oh. Um... I-I don't understand.

- It's a warning, and I know exactly who it is.

An old enemy of mine has just got out of the clink

back in Manchester,

and it's gonna take me a few days to put him back in his box.

Me cousin's bringing mum out now.

She won't fly, so it'll take ages on the ferry.

She needs to be with me till I sort my dear old friend out.

- And... - Well, the thing is,

she doesn't know about my, um, "business interests".

- Go on. - She, um...

thinks I run an antique shop.

- Oh. Oh, I see.

You want to pretend that you run my antique shop?

- Bingo. - [Sighs with relief]

Is that all?

No protection? No extortion?

- I'm not an animal, Jean.

But if you do this one thing for me, we'll call it even.

- Well, that's an offer I can't refuse.

- [Cellphone ringing] - Oh. Excuse me.

Hi.

Yeah, yeah, I know it well.

Right, I-I'll-- I'll-- I'll be right there.

Okay.

Um...

[Clears throat] That was Caron.

There's been an incident at the library.

Can you give me a lift? - Oh, Madeleine's at home.

- I can drop you off to collect her, if you like.

- Oh, right. - Alright. Okay. Um...

So, um, Mr. John Marsden here

will be doing a bit of work experience today.

So, um, if you could just show him the ropes, ladies,

that would be great. Thank you.

- Give my regards to "Caren".

- [Chuckles forcefully] Yeah.

- It is pronounced [French accent] Caron.

- I know, sweetheart. Just having a laugh.

- Mm.

- Ooh, she's not worked at tills since the Fir Tree pub

when she was on salad bar.

- [Lever cranking] - [Till dinging]

[Indistinct chattering]

- [Suspenseful music plays] - [Camera shutter clicking]

♪

[Indistinct police radio chatter]

- What on earth's going on?

- Thomas was attacked, Jean.

- No. Why? [Stammers] Is he all right?

- He's fighting for his life.

- Oh, no.

I'm so sorry.

- This could ruin Sainte-Victoire library.

- W-What do you mean?

- We have destroyed one of the rarest figures in Egyptology.

- We haven't destroyed anything.

- That's how they will see it.

- Now, listen to me, Suzanne.

We're going to find out who's responsible

for this horrific act of sabotage.

Do you hear me?

And we're going to find out who hurt Thomas.

Look...

Let's just decide that Thomas is going to be okay.

And in a couple of months' time,

he'll be back in here stinking the place out

with his rock fort, as usual. [Chuckles softly]

- Thank you, Jean.

- I'll come back later and check on you.

Okay?

[Suspenseful music plays]

♪

I think she's in shock. - What about you?

- I think I'm in shock.

[Sighs] Thomas is such a sweetheart.

- Which is all the more reason we need to find out

who is responsible for this.

- Yeah. Thank you.

[Cellphone vibrating]

♪

- Caron.

- I really want to give you a hug.

- [Breathes shakily] Mm.

- Nobody's watching.

- [Emotive music plays] - [Softly] Come here.

♪

Hmm?

Yours, I believe.

- Eh... Yes, yes. Thank you. Thank you.

- I love watching you do that. - What?

- That twisty thing you do when you pin your hair up in the morning.

It's, um, chic.

- [Both chuckle] - That's the first time

I've been called chic in my entire life.

- Well, it will not be the last time, Jean White.

- Jean, we have some information. Can you come to the station?

- Yes. Yes, of course. Of course. Yes.

- Oh, yes. I better get back to work.

Um, I'll speak to you later, Jean, eh?

- [Chuckles] So... Yeah.

[Instrumental music plays]

- A neighbor was returning from his night shift

and saw an orange Moped driving away from the library

at midnight last night.

- So this is the CCTV?

- Not from near the library, but around the corner.

It is registered to a Gaynor Smith-- English.

She's 18 years old and lives in university halls.

- Right. So, um, how can I help?

- I need to interview her,

but I don't want to bring her in.

I think a less formal approach might be more successful.

Teenage girls have never been my strong point.

Even when I was a teenage boy.

- [Chuckles] Oh. You want me to come with you?

Oh, of course, no problem.

Well, back through the mists of time,

I once was a teenage girl myself. [Chuckles]

[Taps] Come on, then.

[Pensive music plays]

[Doorbell buzzes]

♪

[Buzzing continues]

- Hello? - Police.

- Oh. You better come in.

[Door buzzes]

♪

- Hello. I am Inspector Caron.

This is my colleague, Jean White.

Can we come in?

- Oui.

[Speaks Parisian French]

- They are a bit fragile.

- Mm. No kidding. - We both speak English.

- That would be easier for my colleague.

Thank you. Your names, please.

- Nellie Ocase. - Gaynor Smith.

- A serious crime was committed last night.

And a bike that is registered to you, Gaynor,

was seen near the scene at midnight.

- Oh. She's gone!

Cindy is gone! Oh, God.

- Wh-- Who's Cindy? - My bike. That's her name.

Cindy's been stolen. - So your bike has been stolen?

- Clearly, yes. My mom's going to go mad.

It was parked right out there.

- Where were you last night?

- Uh, we had a date with a couple of bottles of vodka.

- A bacon sandwich, white bread, and a pint of tea.

- Pardon? - Best hangover cure ever.

- I'm a vegetarian.

[Retching]

- Can you prove where you were?

- Yes.

Here.

- Looks like you had a good night.

- Uh...[Chuckles softly]

- Ah. After midnight.

- Mm.

- This is my card.

If you could, uh, send me those photos,

I will be able to eliminate you from my inquiries.

- Okay. - We will see ourselves out.

- Thank you.

[Retching continues]

[Coughing, gagging] [Splashing]

- [Door closes] - Thanks for getting us out of there.

Starting to feel a bit queasy meself. [Chuckles]

- Mm.

- I think I'll go and talk to Suzanne, see how she's doing.

- Good idea. - [Cellphone beeps]

I will double check the CCTV pictures.

Keep me updated. - Oh.

Could you forward me that picture, please?

- Of course. - Thanks.

[Laughter]

- You're an absolute scream, Charlie.

- I was just going to say the same, Mr. Marsden.

Not what I expected at all.

- Oh, and we have your lovely Simone in common.

Hey, Simone.

Tell your Charlie about our high vis vest scam.

- I'm not sure I can remember. - Got us in everywhere.

- [Conversing in Parisian French]

- Uh, she certainly did, 'cause I remember saying,

"How do you make neon nylon look so good?"

And you said... [Speaks Parisian French]

- [Laughing] You say that all of the time.

- Touché. Oh, that's what I loved most about Simone,

the way she owned it. - Or not, as the case may be.

- [Both laughing] - [Door opens, bell dings]

- Merci. - [Bell dings]

Why don't you two pop out for a spot of lunch?

I can look after things here.

- Oh, that is so kind of you. Are you sure?

- Yeah, of course I'm sure. Off you pop.

- Okay, I'll grab my bag.

- Uh, I'm not too sure we should leave the shop.

- Now, now, Simone, you above anyone

should know I've looked after bigger business than this.

Have a belter of a lunch, and I'll take care of everything here.

- Yeah. Ah, there's just one thing.

These are the, uh, returns from the workshop.

Uh, this is a necklace will be collected by a lady

called Judith Lloyd-James. It is very important to her.

- No problem. - Oh, merci.

[Gasps] I'm so relieved I did not forget.

Believe me, she is not somebody

you want to be on the wrong side of.

- Well, thanks for the heads up.

- [Door opens] - [Bell dings]

- So we're at a dead end.

Unless we find out who stole that Moped.

- Who'd steal an orange Moped?

- What? - It's a bit obvious, isn't it?

- What do you mean? - Well, if you're gonna nick a Moped,

surely you'd choose one that was a bit less... conspicuous.

- Ooh! Look at you. Detective Dom.

- I've been knocking about with you, haven't I?

Bound to rub off at some point, isn't it?

- [Chuckles] Is that right?

Come on.

Oh. Thank you.

- Thanks. - Thanks.

- Ta.

- How are you doing?

- Not good. I just spoke to Thomas' family.

They are at the hospital now.

I don't know what his wife, Maureen, would do if he...

- Let's think back over the past few weeks.

Now, is there anyone Thomas could have upset?

- Well... Thomas could be very verbose, as you know.

And he was a stickler for details.

His visitor's book had to be just so.

- Could I have a look at the visitor's book, please?

- Yeah. Of course.

- See. Black ink only.

- [Chuckles]

- Everything in the correct column.

Oui, oui. I forgot.

Doctor Alagiah. He's a renowned Egyptologist at university.

He brought a group of students to look at the statue,

and one of them started to shout

about how disgusting it was

for the Louvre to steal precious items from Egypt.

- So what happened?

- Thomas tried to calm him down,

but the student kept shouting at Thomas' face

about giving back the stolen goods.

- Well, the restitution of artifacts

is a very touchy subject.

- It got very heated

and Doctor Alagiah quickly gathered his group up and left.

- Mm.

Have you got his contact details?

- Uh, he should be at the university

if you want to ask him about it.

Do you think one of his students could have done such a thing?

- I don't know, but I'm going to find out.

- You've got very good taste.

My nan had one of these. - Mm.

- Now, let's get it wrapped up for you.

[Upbeat music plays ]

♪

[Bell dings]

A positive plethora of--

♪

Both of you behind the counter.

You're in charge.

♪

I see you.

♪

[Gentle music plays]

- I'll wait out here for you.

- You sure? - Yeah.

I want to give Claudia a ring.

The time difference is about right.

Plus, universities always make me feel

a bit less than, you know? - How do you mean?

- Eh... Full of posh people, isn't it?

- [Chuckles] Don't be daft. I went to one.

And-- And you know all that stuff about astronomy

and every lyric of every song that's ever been written.

- Yeah, but that's not clever, clever, is it?

That's just 'cause I had a karaoke compering job

when I was younger.

Leaves an indelible mark on the subconscious.

- See? I think you're dead clever.

- Uh-huh. - [Chuckles]

- Thanks. - [Smooches]

- Thanks. See you later.

[Birds chirping]

[Upbeat music plays]

♪

- Gotcha.

♪

- Thank you for seeing me, Doctor Alagiah.

- Oh, you. caught me between lectures.

- Oh, so you lecture in Egyptology?

- Yes. Specifically on the importance of deities.

- Sorry, I'm Jean White. I'm a specialist in antiques.

And sometimes I help the police out with their inquiries.

- Police? - Yeah.

Um, do you remember the security guard at the library

when you took your students to see the Hathor statue

on tour last week? - [Sighs defeatedly]

How can I forget it?

The students had been told to keep the politics neutral

for the day and concentrate on the history.

[Breathes deeply] It was so embarrassing.

But surely the police do not need to get involved.

- I'm sorry to have to tell you this,

but last night, that security guard was found unconscious

after a vicious attack.

- What? - And, um...

in the attack, the Hathor statue was found irreversibly damaged.

- Hathor? I mean, this is... This is tragic.

Uh, both of these things, utterly tragic.

- Um, do you have a list of the students

that attended the library last week?

- Well, like the subject I teach,

I am also a little historic.

I keep paper copies of everything.

Ah, here we are.

A list of the students who attended.

- Oh, great. Can-- Can I keep this?

- Oh. Of course. - Right. Thank you.

Oh, is that your son? - Oh, yes. Mateo.

I'm very proud he's doing his PhD

on Egypt and their stolen treasures.

He was with me that day at the library.

[Sighs] He did get quite passionate,

but he'd never do anything like this.

- Mm. - And is that your daughter?

- No. She's his girlfriend. - Mm.

- She, too, is studying at university.

- Oh, well, thank you. - You're welcome.

- [Pensive music plays] - [Door opens]

[Door closes]

♪

♪

[Footsteps approaching]

- Listen, right, I've got to go, Claudia.

[Stammers] I'll speak to you in a bit.

All right. Bye. Love you. Bye.

- A girl who lives at the university halls

who was being sassy with Caron this morning

and Doctor Alagiah's son are in a relationship.

- What? - Yeah, I just saw a picture of them together on his desk.

Well, the girl's hair's a bit longer now,

but it's definitely her.

Now she's got a bedroom next door to Nellie and Gaynor,

the girls who had the Moped nicked.

- So the-- So the girls with the Moped, the stolen one--

- Yeah. Just drive. I-I'll break it down on the way.

[Car engine starts]

[Instrumental music plays]

♪

[Bell dings]

♪

- Hello, darlings. Slight hiccup.

Some cheeky monkey has swiped Mrs. Lloyd-James'

sapphire necklace from under my nose.

But don't worry, I'm just about to get it back.

Stall your friend for me. I won't be a tick.

[Atmospheric music plays]

♪

- Now remember, Marsden, don't go mad.

You've just had this cleaned.

♪

- [Speaking Parisian French]

- [Laughs] Hi-yah! - [Grunts]

Ha! - Ah!

[Grunts]

[Instrumental music playing]

♪

[Coughing]

[Grunts]

- Hmph!

[Footsteps receding]

♪

- Ah! Hello, again. - Um, we were just wondering,

um, do you know where your neighbor is?

- Lily?

She's probably at her boyfriend's.

Mateo.

- Um, well, actually, it was Mateo

we wanted to talk to you concerning the theft

of Gaynor's Moped. - What? Really?

- So, um, do you know where he lives?

- Yeah. I'll go write it down for you now.

Just give me one moment.

- Thank you.

- What is that smell?

- Students. - Oof!

- Uh, there. - Oh.

- Thank you. Merci. - Okay. Bye.

- [Pensive music plays] - [Door closes]

♪

- Caron? Yeah. I've got Mateo's address.

- How much longer, Charlie? It's nearly 4:00 p.m.

I wanted to drop it in to her before the rehearsal dinner.

She's marrying an American, so I have no idea what that is,

but I know it begins soon.

- Maybe you'd like some more coffee.

- Ah, here is Jean's associate now.

- Oh, you must be Judith.

Amazing cheekbones. - [Chuckles softly]

Sorry about the delays, sweetie,

but I didn't think they'd done a good enough job

for one of Jean's favorite customers.

There you go. - Oh. How thoughtful.

Thank you so much. - Pleasure.

- Hang on.

Weren't you the chap that pipped me to the post

this morning at the auction,

denying my husband his birthday present?

That-- That box of Victorian ephemera.

- Sorry about that, my love. But let me put that right.

- Are you sure? - Absolutely.

I've got similar ones already.

- Well, thank you so much.

My husband will be thrilled.

You must let me pay you something.

Sorry, I didn't catch your name. - Oh, I'm John Marsden.

- Well, thank you very much, Mr. Marsden.

Or can I call you John?

- You can. Yeah. John. John Marsden.

- [Chuckles] Thanks.

[Gentle music plays]

[Bell dings]

♪

[Bell dings]

- [Exhales with relief] - [Laughs]

[Doorbell buzzing]

♪

- Jean.

- Mateo!

- Where were you last night?

- I was with my girlfriend Lily,

at the university halls until about midnight.

- And she can verify that? - Yes. Of course.

This is not the first time I have, uh,

borrowed Gaynor's scooter to get home.

I've done it lots of times.

- If you borrow something without asking the owner,

it is technically stealing. - Okay.

I'm very sorry.

- Richard.

- Your father says that you're very passionate

about the restitution of artifacts.

- You've spoken to my father?

Who did this?

- You were seen getting very upset in the library that day.

- What? - I think you smashed the statue to sabotage

the French ownership of it. - That is not true.

- But you didn't expect a night watchman

and defended yourself by nearly murdering him

with the paperweight. - No, no, no, no, no.

You're wrong. I-I-I would never destroy something so precious.

- [Whispers] I need to talk to you about something.

- What, now? - It's very important.

- Richard, start taking his statements, please.

- [Normal voice] This is a fake.

Look, it's just two pieces stuck together.

It's-- It's hollow. - What do you mean, hollow?

- [Exhales]

In ancient Egypt...

...the sacred statues were always made in solid bronze.

The hollow casting technique,

it didn't come until years later.

I didn't question it before

because I just saw the head had fallen off,

and that can happen to a solid figure.

- So where on earth is the real one?

- [Exhales]

- [Sighs] I can hold Mateo on theft of the bike.

We need a search warrant for his flat.

And now, I think his father's house.

Maybe they were in it together for the money.

- Mm. I-I can believe passionate sabotage from academics,

but not blatant theft.

I just don't think it's about the money for them.

- [Cellphone chimes] - Oh. Excuse me.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to go.

Keep me updated, eh?

- Of course.

[Exhales deeply]

- Quite clever when you think about it, isn't it?

- What do you mean? - Well,

while you lot were concentrating on the sabotage,

the real statue was long gone.

Probably been turned into an ashtray

for some dodgy billionaire.

- Oh, the horror. Don't joke about that.

- Jean. My sapphire looks wonderful.

John Marsden went above and beyond.

And he gave me a gift for Jeremy.

It's the box from the auction this morning.

- Wow. This is your lucky day, Judith.

- Actually... What is it?

- Ah, well, um, this is a box of,

um, [Clears throat] memento mori.

- Ooh. What's memento mori?

- Well, um, in Victorian times,

it was considered a loving tribute

when someone passed away, um,

that they were photographed with the, um,

with the living.

- Oh, no. You mean...

One of the people in this photograph is dead?

- Yeah.

They would open up their eyes, prop them up on cushions.

- So I just bid good money on pictures of dead people?

- Mm. - Good grief.

- You see this-- this deceased lady here?

She's less blurry because she's, um, completely still.

- [Groans] Oh, no, no, no, no.

- H-Hang on.

S-Sorry.

- Helen. Helen...

[Sighs heavily]

Um, do you mind if we pay someone a visit?

- No.

- Oh, hello. It's me again.

I wondered if I could have a quick word.

This is my partner, Dom.

I mean, my, um, work partner, Dominic.

- Yeah. Come in.

- How's your head?

- A bit better.

I heard about Mateo and the statue.

His girlfriend lives next door, you know.

- Mm. Is, um, is Nellie around?

- Uh, She nipped to the shops for some hangover munchies.

- Right. Um...

- Now... do you remember this picture being taken?

- I can't really remember much, if I'm being totally honest.

it turned into a bit of a big night in.

- Right.

- So you left-handed?

- Yeah. Why?

- Well, it's just on this photo,

you're holding your drink in your right hand.

Would you do that often?

- God, no. Even drunk. Well, especially when I'm drunk.

I would never use my right hand.

How weird. - Mm.

See, I'm starting to think

that you never used your hand at all.

- Pardon?

- I think you were drugged asleep

and propped up in a photograph

to provide someone with an alibi.

- What? - So i-is this--

is this Nellie's side of the room?

- Yeah.

[Pensive music plays]

♪

- Oh.

Well, that's how she picked the lock.

- So that wasn't your hair pin I found, then.

Yours, I believe.

- Uh, no, love.

But you were so chuffed that you found it

that I didn't have the heart to tell you

that I only use blonde ones.

Gaynor, can you tell me as much

as you can remember about last night?

- Uh, well, after about 9:45, not a lot, really.

- Why specifically 9:45?

- Well, our take-out arrived at 9:30.

It showed up on my app.

Then we ate and drank more vodka.

But we had loads before. I honestly can't remember much.

- Do you mind if we take a quick look around?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- Dom.

[Upbeat music plays]

♪

- Jean.

♪

- Right.

I need you to text Nellie.

Tell her the police called about Mateo,

and she needs to get to the police station straight away

to help Jean and Caron wi-- with their inquiries.

Okay? Thank you.

[Instrumental music plays]

- [Speaking Perisian French]

Is this something to do with--

- Take a seat.

[Door closes]

- How did you know?

- It was some pictures of a deceased Victorians

that gave me the clue.

I realized that your alibi photo was fake.

You'd put Gaynor's glass in the wrong hand,

and your name was on the visitor's list

when you did your little recce.

I missed it first time round

because you used your official name, Helen,

and not your everyday name, Nellie.

I had an Auntie Nellie, you see,

and we only ever called her Helen

when she'd been badly behaved.

You must have thanked the heavens

when Mateo stole Gaynor's scooter.

All the heat was off you, wasn't it?

This is how I think you did it.

[Solemn music plays]

♪

You got your flatmate drunk on vodka,

while I assume you drank water.

♪

- Oh. - [Coughs]

- And then when your food arrived,

you slipped her a sleeping draft,

while she would never have tasted it eating a curry.

And when she was dead asleep around 9:45,

you stole the scooter and you went to the library,

knowing full well that Thomas never locked up

before 10:30 p.m.

[Engine sputtering]

So you snuck in and opened the glass box with a hairpin.

- You then stole the statue-- - [Alarm blaring]

...and intended to replace it with a broken fake one,

suggesting sabotage.

Thomas caught you.

So in a panic, you attacked him.

- [Grunts]

- I didn't mean that. It was an accident.

- An accident that has left a man fighting for his life.

- You then rode back to the dorm...

and faked the photo, implying that you'd been there all night.

But why?

[Camera shutter clicks]

- We are not going anywhere, Nellie.

- [Inhales, exhales shakily]

Just...

...money.

Simple.

I am on my own in the world.

And even with the cheapest accommodation,

I still struggle to make ends meet.

- Most students work a part time job to pay their way.

- Most students have other people helping them.

Like I said, I have no one.

I saw the exhibit on the tours in the library

every couple of months.

And I thought how easy it would be to steal one.

So I-I came up with a plan.

I knew this one was coming from the Louvre.

So I did my research and I-I found a buyer in Paris.

And it was very easy to find a copy online.

- And you thought no one in this backwater town

would ever know the difference.

- I never meant to hurt Thomas.

I am truly sorry for that.

- Not as sorry as his wife, Maureen.

[Solemn music plays]

[Monitor beeping]

♪

- [Speaking indistinctly] - [Laughter]

♪

- Right. You sit there, ladies. I'm gonna get some drinks in.

Only champagne's good enough for my mum.

- Oh. - Have you got any more?

- No.

- A couple of bottles of your finest bubbles, please.

- Oui.

Oh.

- Hiya.

[Pensive music plays]

Not your lucky day, is it, sweetheart?

[Theme music plays]

Oh.

Thank you. [Laughs]

What a day.

♪

- ♪ Passing through ♪