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OK. Right, well this isn't great...

...because I'm a tiny bit drunk.

Note to self, do not leave recording sermon till Saturday night

and do not think "Advocaat, it can't be real alcohol"

"because it tastes so much like custard."

Anyway, down to business, perhaps with...

...I'll just have one little stiffener.

Um,

it's custard.

Firstly, massive brownie points to all who joined the village quiz,

though I'm told there's been some controversy

about some of the answers.

So I just want to repeat,

the German national airline is Lufthansa...

...not the Luftwaffe,

And Jerome K Jerome wrote Three Men In a Boat,

not Three Men and a Baby,

thank the Lord.

But...

...be still my beating heart... I've totted up the total

and the results are as follows.

With one point...

...the Maynard family.

So I declare the Maynard Family the winners!

Yay!

And they'll be receiving a case of this wine

from Owen Newitt's vineyard.

I can heartily recommend it.

Not to drink, obvs,

but it's an amazingly effective toilet cleaner...

...which brings me neatly to my thought for the week.

When we're allowed out,

let's appreciate each God-given day...

...and there's always this to take the edge off things,

isn't there?

Lovely custard.

Meanwhile, keep doing the quizzes, keep clapping our carers,

and yes, yes, I do know that in the village newsletter it says.

"Keep giving our carers the clap"!

Don't do that!

And, above all keep well.

Praise the Lord and bless you all for watching.

# The hills are alive

# With the sound of music

# With songs they have sung

# For a thousand years... #

That last bit of singing was actually me, not Julie Andrews.

I know! It's amazing, isn't it? Which is exactly how I feel

about finally being allowed out.

Yes!

What a wonderful world.

And thank you, Owen Newitt,

for filming me right now. No. Owen! Owen!

Don't do that!

No, no, no.

It's been a really tricky month, hasn't it?

The exam fiasco,

and they told us the process was "robust".

Now they've finally admitted it was just "bust".

Some very good news is that my god-daughter

has got into Oxford.

Yay. We're so thrilled for her

because she's the first one in that family to achieve that feat.

Although I do remember a couple of years ago,

her lovely mum, Alice,

telling me very proudly that SHE was the first to go to Oxford.

She went to Primark.

She had a lovely, lovely time.

So anyway, I'm going to just sit down on this bench, here,

for a minute

because there is something I want to talk to you about.

This is new, isn't it? Look at that, Owen.

"In loving memory of Valerie Price,

"Dribley Parish Council".

It's very nearly right, isn't it?

Right, down to business.

Like a lot of people all over world,

this last week

I've been thinking about this Black Lives Matter thing,

and the horror show that was the murder of George Floyd.

Now, this is tricky for us in "Dribley"

because we're not the most diverse community,

but, you know, I don't think it matters where you're from,

I think it matters that you do something about it,

because Jesus would, wouldn't he?

And, erm, listen.

I'm aware that all lives matter, obviously,

but until all lives matter THE SAME,

we're doing something very wrong.

So I think we need to focus on justice

for a huge chunk of our countrymen and women

who seem to have a very bad, weird deal

from the day they're born.

So, follow me.

I think that in Dibley,

perhaps we should think about

taking down some of these old notices,

like this...

...and that!

And perhaps...

...we put up one like this instead.

OK. Friends, dear friends.

This is going to be a weird one.

It's about love, and laughter, and loss,

because Dibley is full of such life, but everywhere I go now,

every time I'm standing in my kitchen,

every time I go into the vestry,

it's always little Alice Tinker I see.

And she died three years ago this week.

Who is the person I've most loved in my life?

Well I'm very fond of my handsome husband,

but, in the end, it's got to be her.

My own darling dumb blonde.

She had one husband, six children

and three brain cell,

but so much love in her heart,

she could defrost a frozen pizza on a winter's day.

She wasn't the brightest bulb in the box,

but when we lost her, all our lights went out.

I remember when it happened.

She went to the hospital for some tests

and they came back positive...

...and she was over the moon

because she knew that being positive in life was a very good thing.

But it wasn't good.

Cancer caught her on the hop

and knocked her down in a trice.

The first time I met Alice,

I remember thinking "Christmas!"

"What am I going to do about this?"

"I'm a new vicar with a bob cut and a magnificent bosom"

"in a village that doesn't want me."

"And my vital verger is a total numpty who can't believe"

"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is not butter!"

I remember her once explaining to me how babies are born.

What can I say?

It had to do with a spoon and some honey

and lying on a sofa singing.

"If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise."

It didn't, as we say these days,

exactly "follow the science."

But then as I got to know her better,

fear and dread turned into love.

We found a way of living together in perfect harmony.

Her view of Christianity was very simple.

God was a jolly nice chap,

Satan was a very naughty boy indeed,

and the Bible was a cracking read

that went off a bit after the lead character was crucified.

And now she's gone.

It was the dark night of my soul.

But now, three years later,

what's happened is that those terrible last few months

have become just a small part of her story,

and we've been able to claim back all of the happiness

of the whole life of the woman who was Alice Tinker.

I believe in eternal life in heaven.

But I also believe in eternal life on Earth,

because those who die are eternally here,

alive in our memories and in who we are,

because of how...

...because of how they changed us.

And someone whose final request

was for her coffin to be carried into church

by six people dressed as Peppa Pig

will never be forgotten.

So, message for the day,

love the ones you're with,

especially in these hardest of times,

and God bless you all.