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1
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:05,046
.
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,047
[thumping]
3
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:09,592
- I can't believe
Tammy did me dirty.
4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,802
Thought she was my good friend
5
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:12,554
and she up and stabbed me
in the back.
6
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,389
I know you recorded the video
that got me fired.
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,308
I trusted you,
and you betrayed me.
8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,519
- ♪ Too bad, so sad,
now I'm gonna get what's mine ♪
9
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,730
The championship at Daytona.
10
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,357
- But Tammy will not
beat me at Daytona.
11
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:25,567
She can't.
12
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:26,735
She won't.
13
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,236
She mustn't.
14
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,614
And I am gonna
crush Tammy like a bug!
15
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,075
[grunts]
16
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,078
But again,
this is not about Tammy.
17
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,663
This is for the kids.
18
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:46,129
Why am the only one
in here sweating, huh?
19
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,756
Unroll the mats.
20
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,382
- Uh, to be fair,
I actually am sweating,
21
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:50,842
but it's just because
I have an overactive gland.
22
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,136
- Unroll the mats!
23
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,347
- Okay.
24
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,432
[upbeat music]
25
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,518
- She's been like this
for a week.
26
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,228
- I've never been more
frightened in my entire life.
27
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,688
Yeah.
28
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,440
And I spent all
of fifth grade in a well.
29
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,608
- I'm so scared,
I can't even sleep.
30
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,360
And I'm, like,
literally always tired.
31
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,944
- Courteney just
like, boom,
32
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,321
became a completely different
person.
33
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,948
This is like a Dr. Jekyll-
Hannah Montana situation.
34
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,325
- I mean, who is this woman?
35
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,118
- Well, that's Lorraine.
36
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,036
That's Coach's alter ego
who comes out
37
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:18,953
when things get really bad.
38
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,372
- [bleep].
39
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,706
- Met her my third
freshman year when she had
40
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:24,125
a stalker who stole her
favorite pair of boots, and...
41
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,669
that was a dark time.
42
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,255
If you get on the business end
of Lorraine,
43
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,341
she will make you her bitch.
44
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,636
- Ooh, I love me some Lorraine.
45
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,054
[chuckles]
46
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,848
- ♪ Okay, let's go,
okay, let's go ♪
47
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,725
♪ Let's go,
five, six, seven, eight ♪
48
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,185
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
49
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,688
- Y'all, pick up the pace.
50
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:45,855
I'm not making you do anything
I didn't already do
51
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,565
while you were sleeping.
52
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,608
Inner monster?
53
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,651
[scoffs] No.
54
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,404
Lorraine is just
my inner name, okay?
55
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:56,074
I may be a bit
of a hard-ass right now,
56
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,659
'cause I'm trying
to get us to Daytona.
57
00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:00,912
- [retching]
- Lord--take a knee.
58
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,039
This is why we don't go out
drinking on a cheer night.
59
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,374
And until we get to Daytona...
60
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,418
- [retching]
- Every night is cheer night.
61
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,169
- Wait, you guys went out
drinking last night?
62
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,212
Why wasn't I invited?
63
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,380
- I don't know, man.
64
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,589
Maybe 'cause
you live 80 miles away
65
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,258
and you're, like, what,
50 years old?
66
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,552
- Uh, no, first of all,
I live 90 miles away.
67
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,470
Uh, and I'm 36 years old.
68
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:18,638
And 22 months.
69
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,306
- Listen up.
We got a big day tomorrow.
70
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,808
So y'all come rested and ready.
71
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:25,270
Come one minute late to
practice, you're off this team.
72
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:28,815
A monster is more like
Godzilla or "Dracala"
73
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:33,528
or my former junior college
cheer coach, Marg Hargberg.
74
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,406
[quirky tense music]
75
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,116
♪ ♪
76
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:40,201
Marg was driven to win,
77
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,746
but she was also
an emotional wrecking ball
78
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:45,081
who, every practice,
made it her personal mission
79
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,584
to break your soul
and leave you in tears.
80
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,879
But in any case,
I have never been a monster.
81
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,255
And if you don't believe me,
82
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,591
you can just ask the people
who know me best.
83
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,843
- Courteney is not a monster.
84
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,219
She is a legend.
85
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,930
I know Courteney
better than anyone.
86
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,267
I know every routine
she's ever done.
87
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:08,813
And I have all her clippings.
88
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,191
This is one of my favorites.
[chuckles]
89
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,820
- Look, I know my team
is boo-boo.
90
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:19,407
But winning Daytona ain't about
having the hardest routine.
91
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,201
It's about maximizing points.
92
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,952
That is why
I've hired a choreographer
93
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,705
who specializes in just that.
94
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,124
Was he expensive?
Yeah.
95
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,626
Did Boon and I agree
to dip into our nest egg
96
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:30,669
to make that happen?
97
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,295
Yes.
98
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,506
Am I gonna share the details
of how that conversation went?
99
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,715
No.
100
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,176
- I have a hard time
saying no to Lorraine.
101
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,762
Uh, especially
when we're playing
102
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:44,683
insurance salesmen
and sexy farm girl.
103
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,602
And she plays a very convincing
insurance salesman.
104
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,604
[soft upbeat music]
105
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,775
- This is my very own room
and my very own roommate.
106
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,152
- My just for kicks
orthopedic boot.
107
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,113
The first 1,000
people who order
108
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,198
get a signed
Krystal crutch pad.
109
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,533
[smooches]
110
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,659
Hey!
111
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,868
- Hey, roomie.
112
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,911
- You're more than a roommate.
113
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,621
We're gonna be like sisters.
114
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,872
- Aw.
- Hey, sis.
115
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:08,998
How'd you like to help me
116
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,625
by signing some
of my crutch pads?
117
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,793
- Yeah, totally.
118
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:12,919
- [chuckles]
- How many?
119
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,379
- Just a thousand,
in my name.
120
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,132
It's what my sister would do.
121
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:21,011
[tense quirky music]
122
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,930
- Well, then "sign" me up, sis.
123
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,056
[both chuckle]
124
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,850
[tense marching band music]
125
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,643
- We're about to up our game
in a big way.
126
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,229
I've hired
the best choreographer
127
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,898
in the world of cheer.
128
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,526
I paid for his services
out of my own pocket.
129
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,820
So let's focus up and welcome
130
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:43,158
Charleston Sergeant,
AKA "The Captain."
131
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,577
[cheers and applause]
132
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:49,164
♪ ♪
133
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,582
All right.
134
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,000
For the next four hours,
135
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,753
The Captain will be
your general.
136
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,172
- I have spent countless
minutes studying tape of you.
137
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,424
I know your strengths.
138
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,759
Which are none.
139
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,428
And I know your weaknesses,
which are many.
140
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,847
Well, when life gives you poo,
141
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,015
you make shampoo.
142
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,475
- Mm.
143
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,434
- In a perfect world,
we'd have him
144
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,685
all the way up to Daytona.
145
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,520
But at his rate,
I can only afford four hours
146
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,605
and not a minute longer,
147
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,732
so every second counts.
148
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:20,153
- These next four hours
will be the most important
149
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,696
of your life.
150
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,865
- Excuse me, everyone.
151
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,408
Due to a reported issue,
152
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,703
we must complete a mandatory
HR training right now.
153
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,747
- This can't wait
3 hours and 59 minutes?
154
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,874
- It cannot.
We got an anonymous tip.
155
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:35,251
Someone on your team
engaged in an inappropriate
156
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,920
romantic relationship.
157
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,963
So the school paralegal said
we have to do it immediately.
158
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,048
- All right, which one of y'all
159
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,424
couldn't keep it
in your pants, huh?
160
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,926
- You'll have to be
more specific.
161
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,886
- It was you.
162
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,346
Courteney Potter.
163
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,891
[people gasping]
164
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,184
- Courteney Potter,
will you make me
165
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,019
the happiest cheerleader
in the world and marry me?
166
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,729
- This is highly inappropriate,
what's happening.
167
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,647
- Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, it's not.
168
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,856
I'll tell you why.
169
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:57,941
I already
talked to HR about it.
170
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,109
- Bless it, Steven!
171
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,777
[gasps softly]
172
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,113
- [scoffs] Come on.
Could've been anyone.
173
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,739
♪ ♪
174
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:08,743
.
175
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:09,911
- All right, folks,
let's give a warm welcome
176
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,663
to our HR trainer
177
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,957
who's gonna teach us
how to behave better.
178
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,166
Beatriz Schripp.
179
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,044
- How y'all doing?
[chuckles]
180
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,005
I can't hear you.
181
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,715
How y'all doing?
182
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,174
- We're [bleep] great.
Let's move.
183
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:24,884
I'm s--I'm sorry.
184
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,636
We're just in
a little bit of a rush.
185
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,596
And that reported romance
was just a misunderstanding
186
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,099
and it, uh, did not happen
and won't happen again.
187
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,309
- Unfortunately, the calls
that came into our HR hotline
188
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,061
were rather explicit.
189
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,023
- Calls?
- Mm-hmm.
190
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,649
[answering machine beeps]
- Hello, this is Steven Vaughn
191
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,151
making an anonymous tip.
192
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,610
Coach Courteney just
professed her love for me.
193
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,530
So I guess we've begun
a pre-sexual relationship.
194
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,240
[answering machine beeps]
So if I had to speculate,
195
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,993
it'll probably begin in one of
our cars with a make-out sesh
196
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,954
before transitioning to the
back seat for the main event.
197
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,622
[answering machine beeps]
Hello. Steven Vaughn.
198
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,667
I'd like to report
a post-sexual relationship
199
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,752
with myself.
200
00:06:58,877 --> 00:06:59,836
[answering machine beeps]
201
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,421
- This training
has a quick video.
202
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,924
Let's just plug this in
and we can begin.
203
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,307
- I'll get an extension cord.
204
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,808
- Great idea.
Thank you.
205
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,731
Ta-da! There she is.
All right, let's shake a leg.
206
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:20,940
We're doing it.
207
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,067
Thank you so much, Miss Dot.
208
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,276
And thank you in advance
for hurrying.
209
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,444
Yep.
210
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,653
- Hmm.
211
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,117
Oh, shoot!
212
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,452
- I got another one
at home somewhere.
213
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,705
- Just move the dang TV closer
to the wall!
214
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,998
And we'll scooch.
215
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,708
- Yes.
216
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,168
- Scooch!
217
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,629
- [grunts]
- [sighs]
218
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,047
- The truth is,
Prince Philip
219
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,340
has a humping problem,
220
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,300
so we're no strangers
to long HR meetings.
221
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,761
- [whimpers]
222
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,347
- Praise Him.
Look at God.
223
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,640
There it is.
[applause]
224
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,768
- Oh.
- [gasps]
225
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,854
- Oh!
- [sighs]
226
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,148
- Beatriz the battery dropper.
[chuckles]
227
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,526
- [chuckles]
- Here comes a new nickname.
228
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,570
[both laugh]
229
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,615
My old nickname was Queen Bee,
'cause back in high school,
230
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,575
I [bleep] everyone.
231
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,537
[VCR clicking softly]
232
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,584
[suspenseful jazz music]
233
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,378
♪ ♪
234
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,713
[VCR clicks softly]
235
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,673
Oh. What the devil?
236
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,134
- Just forget the [bleep] tape,
battery dropper.
237
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,552
- Salty language
and name-calling
238
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,220
is not gonna make this
go any faster.
239
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,346
- I'm sorry.
240
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,599
- Please, VCR,
will you accept this tape
241
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,601
in the name of the saints?
242
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,103
[VCR door creaks]
243
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,688
♪ ♪
244
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,066
[applause]
245
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,569
Oh, Beatriz.
246
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,696
[chuckling] You put
the battery in upside down.
247
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,072
Here comes a new nickname.
248
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,282
- Please in the name
of the saints, let me do it.
249
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,950
- Ooh.
250
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,368
- Great.
There you go.
251
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,829
- Oh, thank you.
- [sighs]
252
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,622
[VCR clicks softly]
253
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:00,874
- [gasps]
254
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,167
- Mm!
255
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,793
- You know what?
Forget the tape.
256
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,421
It's not really important.
257
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,591
- [growling]
258
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,677
- We know things get physical
on a cheer team.
259
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,180
And we wanna make sure
there's no confusion
260
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,223
and that everyone
feels comfortable.
261
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,559
Yes?
262
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,810
- If I'm not attracted
to any of these people,
263
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,145
can I be excused?
264
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,355
- Really?
265
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,440
Not even him?
266
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,941
- Krystal,
sit your broken butt down.
267
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,735
Beatriz is about
to wrap this up, aren't you?
268
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,779
- Right. After we've done
a little role-playing,
269
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,448
uh, to show you the right
and wrong way to interact
270
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,866
with the opposite sex.
271
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,951
Now,
can I have some volunteers?
272
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,370
- Madonna, DiMarcus,
get up there.
273
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,163
- Wait, why us?
- You're closest.
274
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,373
Go on.
275
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,166
Are your ears for decoration?
Go on.
276
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,501
- Oh, my God.
277
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,919
[tense percussive music]
278
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,006
- Hey, Mary Lou.
279
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,008
Did I ever tell you
you're the prettiest broad
280
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,760
in the freshman class?
281
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,596
[saxophone playing
sultry music]
282
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,975
♪ ♪
283
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,268
- Yes, Henry.
284
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,979
Um, but you know
I'm spoken for.
285
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,857
- We might destroy the
human race in a nuclear war,
286
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,945
so we might as well enjoy some
free love like the hippies do.
287
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,822
- You sure are
being persistent.
288
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,156
Let's go to bed?
289
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,408
- And scene!
290
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,867
- Yes.
[cheers and applause]
291
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,244
- Uh, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut.
292
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,329
- I'm having a hard time
getting into character
293
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,081
'cause people
don't talk like this.
294
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,541
- You know, that's a good note.
295
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,419
Why don't you tell us how
you would ask this gal out
296
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:30,088
in your own words?
297
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,339
Okay.
- Uh, I--
298
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:34,509
[saxophone playing
sultry music]
299
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,760
♪ ♪
300
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,512
- Just stay in the moment,
DiMarcus.
301
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:38,680
Stay in the moment.
302
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,349
- Okay. [sighs]
303
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,726
- [sighs]
304
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,937
- I have fun with you
in practice.
305
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,065
And even though
you can be mean sometimes,
306
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,526
I'd like to hang out.
307
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,154
- Well, maybe I'm mean because
I think you have potential
308
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:57,157
and I know you can be better.
309
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,409
- You think I have potential?
310
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:02,787
[saxophone playing
sultry music]
311
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:03,955
[gum pops]
- Huh?
312
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,081
Um--[clears throat] Sorry.
313
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,499
I'm done.
- Yeah, me too.
314
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,625
- Perfect.
315
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:08,918
Because even
if you like a fella,
316
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:09,961
it's good to play hard to get
317
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:13,340
because
boys don't marry tramps.
318
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,300
Or girls that wear glasses.
319
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,725
[saxophone playing
sultry music]
320
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,185
- Oh, no, ma'am.
321
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,604
- Oh.
[chuckles nervously]
322
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:32,150
Let's, uh--let's all give it up
for our Headltston players.
323
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,151
- Come on down.
Come on down.
324
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,277
Come on down.
Come on down.
325
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,987
- One last thing
I'll leave you with.
326
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,032
I have found
nothing keeps up morale
327
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,742
like notes of affirmation.
328
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:44,662
For example, I would write
a note thanking Miss Dot
329
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,457
for insisting
that I come in today.
330
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,709
Even though I said
it would work much better
331
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,711
with my schedule
if I came in next week.
332
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,547
Thank you, everyone.
333
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,758
[applause]
334
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,427
[VCR clicks]
Oh.
335
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,887
- Let's talk about
consensual behavior.
336
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,722
- [chuckles]
- But don't listen to me.
337
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,933
Here's America's dad,
Bill Cosby.
338
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,935
- Oh!
- Oh, no.
339
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,353
- Sorry about that.
340
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,688
- Okay.
[whistle blows]
341
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,564
Charleston, the floor is yours.
342
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:12,982
- All right, y'all get set.
343
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,360
Prepare for greatness.
344
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,820
- Let's go, let's go.
Let's do this.
345
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,988
[watch chirps]
346
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,282
- That's our time.
- Wh--
347
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,119
- Good luck.
348
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,161
[students murmuring]
349
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,788
- Oh.
- Fabulous.
350
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,833
- Yah!
351
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:36,256
.
352
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:37,298
- Mm-hmm. Ooh, yeah!
353
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:38,758
Ooh! Look at you.
354
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,051
Madder than a cat in a bath.
355
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,428
Hope it wasn't
something I said.
356
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,722
- Boon, I gotta figure out
a bulletproof routine
357
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,307
for this squad
or we're dead in the water.
358
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,059
- Baby, why don't you just
do one of your routines
359
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,894
from your early days at SDSJC?
360
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,062
I mean, those teams were bad,
361
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,439
but you still
won championships with them.
362
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,233
- Boon, you think I would've
spent half our nest egg
363
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,735
on a choreographer
and his dog
364
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,653
if I had access
to those old routines?
365
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,740
They're on the SDSJC server,
and Tammy has the password.
366
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:04,909
- I was just messing with her.
367
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,369
I've been with two women
in my life:
368
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,830
Courteney and Lorraine.
369
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,832
And I love Courteney,
but, man, oh, man,
370
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,292
is it good to see
Lorraine again.
371
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,793
Mm!
372
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,128
And this is the longest
she's ever been here.
373
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,212
[chuckles]
374
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,131
- This next product feels like
375
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,174
you should need a prescription.
376
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,301
Krystal's Botox.
377
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,928
They look just like
the ones your moms use.
378
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,847
But the needles are candy.
379
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,099
So order through
the link in my bio.
380
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,225
Hey, sis!
381
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,435
- Hey.
382
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,728
I just have a quick question.
383
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,396
Are there more crutch pads
I need to sign?
384
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,315
Because my hand is stuck
like a claw. [laughs]
385
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,733
- No, we're done with those.
386
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,443
But I do need you to be a dear
387
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,529
and go to México
to ship these edible syringes.
388
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,572
- The country?
389
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:43,656
- It's what my sister would do.
390
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:44,699
Ah!
391
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,784
[both chuckle]
392
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,160
[knock at door]
393
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,039
- What's up?
394
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,665
- We're practicing a new
routine to surprise Lorraine
395
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,376
so she won't want
to throw us into traffic.
396
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,211
- Okay.
Let me just grab my stuff.
397
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,548
- So you know
I only said you had potential
398
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:04,135
because my brain was fried
from not sleeping, right?
399
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,970
- Okay.
400
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:09,182
I was just in character
when I asked you out, so...
401
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,309
- Then I don't know
why you're bringing it up.
402
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,602
- You brought it up.
403
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,062
What is her problem?
404
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,397
- He's obsessed with me.
405
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,481
[chuckles]
406
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,316
[clock ticking]
407
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,068
- All right, y'all.
408
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,945
And five, six, seven--
409
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,446
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What's going on here?
410
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,864
- We know you were disappointed
411
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,658
that it didn't work out
with the choreographer,
412
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,327
so we came up
with our own routine.
413
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:32,497
Don't be mad at us.
414
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,581
- Okay.
415
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:34,958
Let's see it.
416
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,251
- Okay. Look alive.
417
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,503
Five, six, seven, eight!
418
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,963
all: ♪ Yum! ♪
419
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,923
♪ It's sweet in here ♪
420
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:45,301
♪ There must be some Buttons
'bout to do some cheer ♪
421
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,428
- ♪ Here we go! ♪
all: ♪ Red ♪
422
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,679
- ♪ What? ♪
all: ♪ Yellow ♪
423
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,680
- ♪ Yell it ♪
all: ♪ Green ♪
424
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,140
- ♪ Hit it ♪
all: ♪ Blue ♪
425
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,308
- ♪ Slow it down ♪
- ♪ Red, yellow, green ♪
426
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,477
♪ Blue ♪
427
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,480
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
428
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:04,446
♪ ♪
429
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,162
- Get it! Ha! Ha!
430
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:19,127
♪ ♪
431
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,303
- Yeah.
432
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:29,804
- Buttons!
433
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,932
[all panting]
434
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,979
Well?
435
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,190
- I love it.
436
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,442
- Oh, my God.
Thank God.
437
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,526
- Almost as much
as when I saw it
438
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,153
in the theaters 25 years ago.
439
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,404
- Hmm?
440
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,864
- Can't believe
y'all stole a routine
441
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,074
from a movie about cheerleaders
who stole a routine.
442
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:51,534
all: Oh.
- That's where it's from.
443
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,244
We watched this movie
together last night.
444
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,245
- Mm.
- And that's probably--
445
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,246
- That's exactly why.
446
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,623
- That's probably
why we thought of it.
447
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,958
- Last night was
the first time we truly bonded.
448
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,212
We went from being a team
to a family.
449
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,630
- Aw.
450
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,340
- You guys had a movie night
last night?
451
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,133
Wish you would have told me.
452
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,260
I would have offered
to host it at my motel.
453
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,054
I have color TV and HBO.
454
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,347
- Hey, why don't
y'all talk about
455
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,641
your favorite parts
of the movie
456
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,351
while you're doing
300 crunches?
457
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,519
Let me see them.
- [groans]
458
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:18,395
No, see, every time you talk,
bro.
459
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,604
- Wait, what?
- Go!
460
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,064
[whistle blows]
- Every time you talk.
461
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,483
- Can I talk to you
about something?
462
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,278
- Uh, yeah, Sal, what is it?
463
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,823
- Uh, it's actually Krystal.
[chuckles]
464
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,408
Um, she's a great roommate
465
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,368
and I'm totally lucky
to be living with her.
466
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,577
But she's just
a little bit bossy,
467
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,704
and I don't know how to say no.
468
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,788
- You're just gonna have
to figure out a way
469
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,957
to deal with this yourself,
okay?
470
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,458
I'm not your mama.
471
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,758
- I know.
472
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,719
It's--[sniffles]
473
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,475
- [sighs]
474
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,895
Damn you, Lorraine.
475
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:05,483
.
476
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,067
- Uh-oh.
477
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,445
I accidentally
washed my red shirt
478
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,738
in with your whites.
479
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:10,989
[sucks teeth]
480
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,407
I hope this doesn't mean
481
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,285
you have to find justice
by turning my white bum red.
482
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,788
But if that's the decision
of the Court of Lorraine,
483
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,665
I'd like to make a plea deal.
484
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:21,875
- Lorraine left, baby.
485
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,335
- Dang it!
486
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,128
Well, that's a waste
of good sheets.
487
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,921
What the heck happened?
488
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,007
- I crossed a line,
something I never done before.
489
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,925
Boonie...
490
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,303
I don't think I ever felt
this bad in my whole life.
491
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,347
- Baby, there's nobody
harder on you than you.
492
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,349
I'm sure it's fine.
493
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,683
- I made Sally cry.
494
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,185
- You did what?
495
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,021
I'm so sorry, Sally.
496
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,981
I danced with the devil.
497
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,524
And we all got burnt.
498
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:47,776
[shuddering gasp]
499
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,069
- I was just so on fire
to beat Tammy
500
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,072
and I let Lorraine take over.
501
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:55,158
- Baby, I've seen fire
and I've seen Lorraine.
502
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,659
And this was neither.
503
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:57,827
You know what this was?
504
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,454
I hate to say it.
505
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:03,458
This was Marg.
506
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,459
- Oh, Boonie.
507
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:05,794
- Mm-hmm.
508
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,712
- I hate it when you're right.
- Mm-hmm.
509
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,089
- That means it was so obvious.
510
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,548
- Oh, come here, girl.
Come here.
511
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,966
Come here, baby.
- Oh, no.
512
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,636
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- [sighs]
513
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,514
There's a time and a place
for Lorraine.
514
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,516
She has helped me
win multiple championships.
515
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:24,562
But sometimes these kids
need more than that.
516
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,356
They need to feel accepted.
517
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,693
- Oh, dude,
DiMarcus is gonna be so pumped.
518
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:30,860
[grunts]
519
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,612
Op! [grunts]
Incoming!
520
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,906
- They need space
to be vulnerable.
521
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,909
[peaceful music]
522
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:44,958
♪ ♪
523
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,919
- I'm a little obsessed
with her.
524
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:50,213
♪ ♪
525
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,925
- Sometimes they just need
to know their voice matters.
526
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:57,345
♪ ♪
527
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,847
All right--oh, wait.
528
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,307
♪ ♪
529
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,727
That's just, uh,
a little reminder.
530
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:04,769
- Thank you.
531
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:08,940
♪ ♪
532
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:12,235
- I just want so bad for my
team to experience Daytona.
533
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,404
You know, get a win.
534
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,363
I'd just give
anything if I could
535
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,365
remember those old routines.
536
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,577
- I know someone who has
all your choreography memorized
537
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,371
and the outfits you were
wearing when you did them.
538
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:24,581
- Seph.
- Seph.
539
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:25,957
- No way.
- Yes!
540
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:26,916
- Honey.
- No, no, no, no, no.
541
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,209
Listen, listen.
542
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,711
I know it's weird
to call your stalker,
543
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,589
but he's got a restraining
order and the guy's harmless.
544
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:33,798
- Well, I don't know
if he's even interested
545
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,550
in me anymore, Boon.
546
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,094
And I don't think I could take
the rejection if he's not.
547
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,137
- Coach, you just
gotta ask yourself
548
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,056
how bad do you wanna win.
549
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,475
- [groans] Fine.
550
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,602
[phone line trilling]
551
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:46,770
[sighs]
552
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,105
[phone ringing]
553
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,231
He's not even picking up.
554
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,608
He used to pick up
on the first ring.
555
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,569
[phone continues ringing]
556
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,157
- Hey, queen.
557
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,241
[giggles]
558
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,161
- All right, y'all,
before we begin,
559
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:06,206
I just want to say that
winning Daytona is important.
560
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,665
But it cannot come
at the expense of providing
561
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,085
a safe space for my team.
562
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,336
Yeah?
563
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,629
With that in mind,
564
00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,798
I'd like to introduce you
to our new choreographer,
565
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,883
Seph Marigold.
566
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,426
- I just wanna say
567
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,970
I am obsessed
with getting us to Daytona.
568
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,847
- 50 feet, Seph.
569
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,307
Behind the red line.
570
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,392
There you go.
- Right.
571
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,601
- Okay.
- [chuckles nervously]
572
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:30,647
- All right, Buttons,
let's bring it on.
573
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,483
[cheers and applause]
574
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,944
[upbeat music]
575
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:38,446
.
576
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,531
- Oh, hey, sis.
577
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,741
- I don't want
to be your sister.
578
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,160
I just want
to be your roommate.
579
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,413
And if that's not good enough,
then I will move out.
580
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,081
- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
581
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,375
I don't want you to leave.
582
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,710
- Really?
583
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,420
Okay, good, because...
584
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,880
I was so afraid
to say something.
585
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,382
- Well, I'm glad you did.
586
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,800
You can tell me anything.
587
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,093
We're roommates.
588
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,220
- Hoo. [sighs]
- [chuckles]
589
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,139
Hey, roomie?
- Yeah.
590
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,474
- Will you take this Botox
to Mexico tonight?
591
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:09,769
- No.
592
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:14,024
I will do it mañana.
593
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,151
- Ah! [chuckles]
- [laughs]
594
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,278
[sighs]
595
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:19,487
Oh.
596
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,074
Hmm.
597
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:25,994
[peaceful music]
598
00:21:26,161 --> 00:21:29,039
♪ ♪
599
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,665
- [whistling]
41116
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