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1
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,687
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
2
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,717
? I'm going down
to south park?
3
00:00:11,752 --> 00:00:13,099
? Gonna have
myself a time?
4
00:00:13,134 --> 00:00:14,447
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
5
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,611
? Humble folks
without temptation?
6
00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:17,477
? Going down
to south park?
7
00:00:17,909 --> 00:00:19,640
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
8
00:00:19,675 --> 00:00:21,372
? Ample parking
day or night?
9
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:23,103
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
10
00:00:23,138 --> 00:00:24,851
? Headed on up
to south park?
11
00:00:24,886 --> 00:00:26,565
? Gonna see if
i can't unwind?
12
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,325
? So come on down
to south park?
13
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,056
? And meet some
friends of mine?
14
00:00:35,454 --> 00:00:37,617
Okay stan, i'm going
to give you...
15
00:00:37,652 --> 00:00:39,366
A "u.F.O.
Crash-Landing" card,
16
00:00:39,401 --> 00:00:41,080
You can deny it
or cover it up.
17
00:00:41,512 --> 00:00:42,776
Dude, i don't understand
this gameat all.
18
00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:44,975
It's "investigative reports
of bill curtis fun time game",
19
00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:46,706
You have to deny it
or cover it up.
20
00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:47,571
Uh, deny it.
21
00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:49,070
Okay, let's see
what bill curtis says.
22
00:00:49,302 --> 00:00:50,168
Hello, i'm bill curtis.
23
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:51,899
Many believe that
the u. S. Government
24
00:00:52,332 --> 00:00:54,028
Covered it up,
i'm bill curtis.
25
00:00:54,063 --> 00:00:56,226
All right, cartman,
i'm going to give you...
26
00:00:56,261 --> 00:00:57,958
A "jail time card",
you lose a turn.
27
00:00:57,993 --> 00:00:59,221
Sweet.
28
00:00:59,256 --> 00:01:01,420
Oh yeah, well, i'm
going to give you...
29
00:01:01,455 --> 00:01:02,735
Aids.
30
00:01:02,770 --> 00:01:03,982
What?
31
00:01:04,016 --> 00:01:05,713
I just gave
aids? You aids.
32
00:01:05,748 --> 00:01:07,211
Dude, that's not cool,
don't give kyle aids.
33
00:01:07,246 --> 00:01:10,474
Kyle has aids and now loses
47 turns and 800 points.
34
00:01:10,509 --> 00:01:13,105
Kenny, your dad and i are
thinking about having another baby.
35
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,836
Wouldn't you love to have
another brother or sister?
36
00:01:15,269 --> 00:01:16,100
No.
37
00:01:16,135 --> 00:01:19,164
We just might
work on it later tonight.
38
00:01:19,199 --> 00:01:20,427
Goddammit,
poor people suck!
39
00:01:20,462 --> 00:01:21,726
Your family is
already on welfare
40
00:01:21,761 --> 00:01:23,492
And now you're going to bring
another kid into the world.
41
00:01:23,925 --> 00:01:26,088
Poor people are churning out
babies, adding on to over-Population
42
00:01:26,123 --> 00:01:28,052
And expectingmeto pay
for it with my tax dollars.
43
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,948
You don't pay tax dollars,
cartman, you're 8.
44
00:01:29,983 --> 00:01:32,978
You see, this is just
what i've been talking about!
45
00:01:33,013 --> 00:01:36,042
I can't even relate to you guys
anymore because you're too immature.
46
00:01:36,077 --> 00:01:37,340
What?
Hanging out with friends
47
00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:39,504
That are a little more
intelligent and understand
48
00:01:39,937 --> 00:01:40,802
Politics and stuff.
49
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,966
It's just that i'm up
on this level, up here
50
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:44,230
And all my friends
are down here.
51
00:01:44,265 --> 00:01:45,563
You don't know what you're
talking about, fat ass!
52
00:01:45,598 --> 00:01:48,159
No, no, no,
me, "nah", you guys, "nah".
53
00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:51,639
Maybe more down,
down "nah".
54
00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:55,085
Screw you guys,
i'm going home!
55
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,114
I'm bill curtis.
56
00:01:58,980 --> 00:01:59,845
I've outgrown
all my friends,
57
00:02:00,278 --> 00:02:02,009
I need to meet more
mature people, cloud frog.
58
00:02:02,044 --> 00:02:04,571
Oh, great idea,
cloud frog!
59
00:02:04,606 --> 00:02:07,202
I can meet new friends
on the internet.
60
00:02:07,237 --> 00:02:09,331
Here's a chat room.
61
00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:12,828
"Men who like young boys",
that's perfect!
62
00:02:21,051 --> 00:02:23,215
Wow, look at all these guys
that want to be my friends!
63
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,811
I'll pick tony316.
64
00:02:26,244 --> 00:02:28,806
Hi, tony.
65
00:02:28,841 --> 00:02:31,437
Oh, you know
the usual stuff.
66
00:02:31,472 --> 00:02:33,168
Smiley face.
67
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,765
Kewl, wanna get together?
Smiley face.
68
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,361
Sure, tony,
that would be cool.
69
00:02:38,794 --> 00:02:40,959
Winking smiley face.
70
00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:45,719
Sounds good,
see you then!
71
00:02:46,152 --> 00:02:48,316
Clown hat, curly hair,
smiley face.
72
00:02:48,351 --> 00:02:50,047
You see that
cloud frog!
73
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,509
Tomorrow i'm going to meet
my first mature friend.
74
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,504
Hi, are you tony?
75
00:02:56,539 --> 00:02:57,802
Yeah, you're eric?
Yeah!
76
00:02:57,837 --> 00:03:00,433
I brought you some candy. Wow, cool!
77
00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:03,861
And some books
on kama sutra.
78
00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:06,457
Neato, having older friends kicks ass!
79
00:03:06,492 --> 00:03:08,656
You see i've really
been having a tough time,
80
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,820
I've kind of matured faster
than my other friends,
81
00:03:10,855 --> 00:03:12,083
We don't really
relate anymore and -
82
00:03:12,118 --> 00:03:15,580
Uh, all my friends seem
so childish now, you know.
83
00:03:15,615 --> 00:03:17,978
Do you like having
your back rubbed?
84
00:03:18,013 --> 00:03:20,341
Yeah, that seems
really nice, thanks.
85
00:03:20,376 --> 00:03:22,505
Hold it right
there, scum bag!
86
00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:23,370
Huh?
87
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,101
We monitored your little
"on-Line chat",
88
00:03:25,136 --> 00:03:26,832
Now you're coming with us. No!
89
00:03:27,265 --> 00:03:28,997
What the hell
just happened?
90
00:03:32,459 --> 00:03:35,021
You can't eat kenny, we have
to save food for the baby.
91
00:03:35,056 --> 00:03:38,085
Your mom and i are going out for a few
weeks, kenny, take care of the baby.
92
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,933
Kenny, you have to change
the baby's diapers!
93
00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:41,747
You have to share
your room with the baby!
94
00:03:41,782 --> 00:03:43,278
The baby, the baby,
the baby!
95
00:03:43,313 --> 00:03:44,974
Huuuh!
96
00:03:45,009 --> 00:03:47,371
Stop it.
97
00:03:47,406 --> 00:03:49,337
Come on, let's go try to
get you pregnant again.
98
00:03:49,372 --> 00:03:50,600
Oh, all right.
99
00:03:50,635 --> 00:03:51,934
Dad, i want
to play catch.
100
00:03:51,969 --> 00:03:52,799
Huh?
101
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:53,665
Oh, i'll play catch
with you later, son.
102
00:03:54,098 --> 00:03:55,361
I want to play now!
103
00:03:55,396 --> 00:03:57,560
Oh, go ahead, we can
make love afterwards.
104
00:03:57,595 --> 00:03:58,823
Oh, all right.
105
00:03:58,858 --> 00:04:03,186
All right, here comes a pop
fly, see if you can catch it.
106
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,215
Good job,
now throw me one.
107
00:04:06,648 --> 00:04:08,379
Oh!
108
00:04:10,975 --> 00:04:12,239
Blech!
109
00:04:12,274 --> 00:04:13,538
What happened?
110
00:04:13,572 --> 00:04:15,303
He smacked me
in the balls.
111
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,035
Oh, oh!
Woo-Hoo!
112
00:04:17,069 --> 00:04:18,298
Blech!
113
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:21,363
Okay, we'll
try this again.
114
00:04:27,854 --> 00:04:30,217
This one looks good,
"hung daddy".
115
00:04:30,252 --> 00:04:32,615
Hello, hung daddy!
116
00:04:34,346 --> 00:04:36,077
Damn dude, this guy is tiny,
he must be a dwarf.
117
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,674
Sorry, i'm not interested in
being friends with midgets.
118
00:04:39,106 --> 00:04:41,270
Frowny face.
119
00:04:42,568 --> 00:04:44,299
How about this one?
120
00:04:46,031 --> 00:04:46,896
Mr. Hammer head?
121
00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:48,159
Hi, there.
122
00:04:48,194 --> 00:04:49,890
Mr. Garrison!
Ahh, eric!
123
00:04:49,925 --> 00:04:51,622
You want to be my friend? Oh, crap!
124
00:04:51,657 --> 00:04:53,388
That's cool, we can hang out,
what do you want to do first?
125
00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:54,686
Nothing, nothing!
126
00:04:55,119 --> 00:04:56,417
All right, scum bag,
we got you.
127
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:58,113
Hey, ah!
128
00:04:58,148 --> 00:04:59,411
Good thing
you guys came.
129
00:04:59,446 --> 00:05:01,177
This little boy was trying
to have his way with me.
130
00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:04,208
Nice try, buddy, we monitored
your little "on-Line chat",
131
00:05:04,242 --> 00:05:05,904
Now you're coming with us. No!
132
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,968
Why the hell does the f.B.I.
Keep arresting all my friends?
133
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,699
This has to be the work
of stan and kyle.
134
00:05:10,734 --> 00:05:12,430
God, i hate
those guys!
135
00:05:13,729 --> 00:05:14,992
See, i told you, dude!
136
00:05:15,027 --> 00:05:16,290
Those are
dialysis machines.
137
00:05:16,325 --> 00:05:18,489
Old people have to hook
themselves into it with a tube
138
00:05:18,524 --> 00:05:19,787
And it sucks all
their body fluids out.
139
00:05:19,822 --> 00:05:21,518
Oh, man,
that's terrible!
140
00:05:21,553 --> 00:05:22,349
I know, huh?
141
00:05:22,384 --> 00:05:23,682
Put your mouth against
the glass, like this.
142
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:24,946
Wah!
143
00:05:24,981 --> 00:05:26,411
Yeah,
haaa!
144
00:05:26,446 --> 00:05:28,093
Bleh-Leh-Leh-Leh!
145
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,706
Wha-La-La-La-La!
146
00:05:29,741 --> 00:05:31,905
All right, just what the hell
do you guys think you're doing?
147
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,168
We're making faces
at sick people.
148
00:05:33,203 --> 00:05:34,899
No! I mean what
the hell are you doing?
149
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:39,262
Why are all my mature adult friends
being mysteriously arrested, huh?
150
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:39,695
We don't know.
151
00:05:40,127 --> 00:05:41,391
I'll tell you why!
152
00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:43,157
Because you guys are jealous and can't
handle the fact that you're immature,
153
00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:45,321
So you started a government
conspiracy against me!
154
00:05:45,356 --> 00:05:47,052
We don't know what you're
talking about, lard butt.
155
00:05:47,087 --> 00:05:49,181
Lard butt, oh,
that's so mature.
156
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:50,947
God, i guess i was wrong
about you guys, huh?
157
00:05:50,982 --> 00:05:52,246
You're not more
mature than us, cartman.
158
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,410
Yes, i am!
159
00:05:56,141 --> 00:05:59,170
I'm telling you this is all a
terrible mistake, officer barbrady.
160
00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:01,732
Well, the f.B.I said
i have to hold you here,
161
00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:04,363
So that's what i'm going
to do, mr. Complainy-Pants.
162
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,662
Oh!
163
00:06:06,094 --> 00:06:09,557
Do you like having
your back rubbed?
164
00:06:09,989 --> 00:06:10,855
Eat me, pervert.
165
00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:13,451
Okay.
166
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,481
We demand you release
these men at once.
167
00:06:16,516 --> 00:06:17,580
Who are you?
168
00:06:17,615 --> 00:06:18,610
We are "nambla",
169
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,341
The north american man-Boy
love association
170
00:06:20,376 --> 00:06:22,972
And we heard about these
political prisoners you're keeping.
171
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,101
Political prisoners?
No, these are child molesters.
172
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:28,165
Loving young boys has been around
since the time of the romans, pal.
173
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,429
There's nothing
wrong with it!
174
00:06:29,464 --> 00:06:31,593
We are an organization
dedicated to showing
175
00:06:31,628 --> 00:06:34,657
That sex between a man and a
young boy can be a beautiful thing!
176
00:06:34,692 --> 00:06:35,488
Yeah!
Yeah!
177
00:06:35,523 --> 00:06:37,220
Uh, i don't know
who you are,
178
00:06:37,254 --> 00:06:40,284
But these men aren't going any
where until i hear from the f.B.I.
179
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:42,664
Hate mongerer!
Hate mongerer!
180
00:06:42,699 --> 00:06:44,577
Hate mongerer, yeah.
181
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:47,807
Okay, people, i think you'd better
move along before i arrest more of you.
182
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,805
All these men wanted
was to love a young boy,
183
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,536
There is nothing
wrong with love.
184
00:06:51,969 --> 00:06:53,700
I did not want love
from a young boy,
185
00:06:53,735 --> 00:06:54,998
I like men
my own age.
186
00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:56,694
Ah! I mean-
187
00:06:56,729 --> 00:06:58,460
I like women,
what did i say?
188
00:06:58,893 --> 00:06:59,723
Oh god,
i love titties!
189
00:06:59,758 --> 00:07:01,057
You haven't heard
the last of us, officer.
190
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,221
Together we are strong.
Come on, men!
191
00:07:03,653 --> 00:07:05,782
Yeah! Yeah!
192
00:07:05,817 --> 00:07:08,414
Well, they got activists
for everything these days.
193
00:07:09,712 --> 00:07:11,408
I've done it, kevin!
194
00:07:11,443 --> 00:07:15,771
I've successfully gene-Spliced this
chipmunk with a piece of provolone cheese.
195
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:17,935
Do you know what
this means, kevin?
196
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:20,098
No more will the world have
to look in two different places
197
00:07:20,531 --> 00:07:22,227
For squirrels and
provolone cheese.
198
00:07:22,262 --> 00:07:23,561
No more will mankind
have to pick-
199
00:07:23,596 --> 00:07:24,825
Who could that be?
200
00:07:24,859 --> 00:07:26,590
Why, it's little
eric cartman.
201
00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:28,322
Doctor mefesto,
i need help.
202
00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:30,053
Of course,
come in.
203
00:07:30,486 --> 00:07:32,650
See, unfortunately, i have
matured faster than all my friends.
204
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:34,779
I want to hang out with older
friends, but i can't find any.
205
00:07:34,814 --> 00:07:36,977
So i was wondering if you can geneticly
engineer some older friends for me.
206
00:07:37,012 --> 00:07:39,106
Oh, eric, i'm afraid
it's not that simple.
207
00:07:39,141 --> 00:07:41,305
Genetic engineering has
not yet evolved to the state
208
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:43,001
Where i can just
make people.
209
00:07:43,036 --> 00:07:44,732
Damn it, but i want to
hang out with older guys!
210
00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:48,229
Oh, well,i happen to be a member of
an organization that can help you.
211
00:07:48,264 --> 00:07:50,358
It's called "nambla".
"Nambla"?
212
00:07:50,393 --> 00:07:52,522
Yes, i've been a member
for several years.
213
00:07:52,557 --> 00:07:55,154
I'm sure they'll let you join,
you look about right.
214
00:07:55,189 --> 00:07:57,317
Okay, thanks,
sure. Doctor mefesto!
215
00:07:58,616 --> 00:07:59,879
Fellow members
of "nambla",
216
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:02,943
As you know, we continue
to be discriminated against.
217
00:08:02,978 --> 00:08:05,505
Recently the f.B.I.
Has started to arrest men
218
00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:07,704
Who are doing nothing more
than than trying to start
219
00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:09,868
A sexual relationship
with a young boy.
220
00:08:09,903 --> 00:08:11,131
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
221
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:13,763
And now that all ethnic groups,
homosexuals and women
222
00:08:13,798 --> 00:08:15,495
Are protected under
civil rights laws,
223
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,226
We want the same!
224
00:08:17,658 --> 00:08:18,957
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
225
00:08:20,688 --> 00:08:21,986
What we need isproof that young
boys want to be members of "nambla".
226
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,717
That theywant
love from us.
227
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:26,279
We need a poster child.
228
00:08:26,314 --> 00:08:28,910
To show the world that it is a
beautiful and wonderful thing-
229
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,174
Ooooh...!
230
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,537
Can we help you?
231
00:08:32,572 --> 00:08:34,536
Yes, i'd like to join your
fine organization, is that cool?
232
00:08:34,969 --> 00:08:37,098
You do?
Sure.
233
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,595
Thank you,
thank you, jesus!
234
00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:41,893
Sweet.
235
00:08:45,788 --> 00:08:46,619
Whah!
236
00:08:46,654 --> 00:08:48,350
Bleh!
Bleh!
237
00:08:48,385 --> 00:08:50,081
Le-Le-Le-Le!
Buh!
238
00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:52,713
Well, kenny,
the doctor confirmed it.
239
00:08:52,748 --> 00:08:53,578
I'm pregnant!
240
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,309
You're going to have
a little brother or sister.
241
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,736
Yup, it's for sure.
242
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:00,935
And he fixed my shattered
left testicle, too.
243
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:02,199
Don't be out
too late, kenny.
244
00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:03,965
We need to start moving
stuff out of your room.
245
00:09:03,999 --> 00:09:05,929
Wow, your mom's
pregnant, kenny!
246
00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:08,643
Yeah, now what are
you going to do?
247
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,323
I don't know,
hmm-Hmm-Hmhm-Hm-Hmm.
248
00:09:11,358 --> 00:09:12,421
? Nyah-Nyah-Nyah?
249
00:09:12,456 --> 00:09:13,486
? Nyah-Nyah-Nyah?
250
00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:14,785
? I got
into "nambla"?
251
00:09:15,217 --> 00:09:16,516
? And you guys didn't?
252
00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:17,814
What are you
talking about, fat ass?
253
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:20,061
Oh, no big deal, i just
found a group called "nambla"
254
00:09:20,096 --> 00:09:22,416
With adult members and
they all think i'm so mature
255
00:09:22,451 --> 00:09:24,703
They wantmeto be their
new poster child, is all.
256
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:29,066
It looks like i'm finally going to
have mature friends who i can relate to.
257
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,364
? Nyah-Nyah-Nyah
nyah-Nyah-Nyah?
258
00:09:30,797 --> 00:09:32,312
? I'm too mature
for you guys?
259
00:09:32,347 --> 00:09:33,826
? Nyah-Nyah-Nyah
nyah-Nyah-Nyah?
260
00:09:36,423 --> 00:09:37,721
Can i help you,
young lady?
261
00:09:39,452 --> 00:09:42,049
Oh, you want "morning after"
abortion pills.
262
00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,646
Well, they're right over there. Thanks!
263
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,296
I'm sorry,
young lady,
264
00:09:56,331 --> 00:09:59,361
But i can't sell that to you
without permission from your parents.
265
00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:04,121
Well, all righty then,
cash or charge?
266
00:10:04,156 --> 00:10:05,419
Cool.
267
00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,268
Look, mom, i made you
something to drink.
268
00:10:19,303 --> 00:10:20,999
Oh, well, that's
very sweet of you kenny,
269
00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:22,297
You made my favorite
drink for me.
270
00:10:22,332 --> 00:10:23,596
Yeah.
271
00:10:24,028 --> 00:10:27,058
But, unfortunately, now that
i'm pregnant i can't drink.
272
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:30,087
Well, i could still drink. No, daddy.
273
00:10:31,818 --> 00:10:33,514
Oh, that hits
the spot.
274
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,579
Makes me forget all about
my shattered balls.
275
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:40,439
What, what's
the matter?
276
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,638
Why don't you go
make me another one of-
277
00:10:42,672 --> 00:10:45,200
Oh!
278
00:10:45,235 --> 00:10:46,533
What's the matter?
Uh-Oh!
279
00:10:46,966 --> 00:10:48,697
Oh god, i'm gonna
crap my pants!
280
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:53,855
Oh, god!
281
00:10:53,890 --> 00:10:55,189
Oh, my balls.
282
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:56,920
Blech!
283
00:10:59,516 --> 00:11:02,546
Oh, god!
284
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:11,634
Just a few more
pictures, eric.
285
00:11:12,066 --> 00:11:13,797
You make a perfect
poster child.
286
00:11:13,832 --> 00:11:15,096
Thanks, dude.
287
00:11:17,692 --> 00:11:19,388
Hey eric, we have
a surprise for you.
288
00:11:19,423 --> 00:11:21,155
We want you to have
a big dinner and dance
289
00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:22,886
Honoring you as
our new poster child.
290
00:11:23,318 --> 00:11:24,150
Really, awesome!
291
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,780
Yes, and we want you
to, umm...
292
00:11:26,815 --> 00:11:29,378
Invite all your
young male friends.
293
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:31,074
Oh, yes.
Aww!
294
00:11:31,109 --> 00:11:33,273
Well, sure, i have some
friends who want to be mature
295
00:11:33,706 --> 00:11:35,402
Excluding stan and kyle,
of course.
296
00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:37,168
Great, now you go and
invite your little friends
297
00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:38,899
And we'll get
the hotel ready.
298
00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:41,063
Kickass!
299
00:11:42,794 --> 00:11:44,525
Kenny, don't forget
to clean out your room,
300
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:47,087
So we can paint it
for the baby!
301
00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,501
Hey, are you feeling down,
you need some excitement!
302
00:11:49,536 --> 00:11:51,882
And north park funland has
just opened its newest ride,
303
00:11:51,917 --> 00:11:53,145
"The john denver experience"!
304
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,344
You'll be "rocky
mountain high" with this,
305
00:11:55,777 --> 00:11:57,941
The most extreme,
insane ride ever built!
306
00:11:57,976 --> 00:11:59,637
It was fun.
307
00:11:59,672 --> 00:12:02,701
Note: people with heart
conditions and expectant mothers
308
00:12:02,736 --> 00:12:05,730
Should not ride "the john
denver", open now, come on down!
309
00:12:05,765 --> 00:12:07,029
Mom!
310
00:12:10,058 --> 00:12:11,789
Are you sure you should be
going on this thing.
311
00:12:11,824 --> 00:12:13,486
Oh, it's all right.
312
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,118
You know, i think kenny's been
a little worried about the baby,
313
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,714
We have to show him that
he's still our little boy.
314
00:12:28,235 --> 00:12:29,966
What'd he say?
315
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:39,487
Whoa!
316
00:12:49,008 --> 00:12:50,704
Oh god, my nose,
i think i broke my nose.
317
00:12:50,739 --> 00:12:52,470
Come on stuart, let's just
get you to a bathroom.
318
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,201
Oh, i'm not going to make it,
i'm going to be sick.
319
00:12:54,236 --> 00:12:57,663
Oh, my stomach.
320
00:12:59,395 --> 00:12:59,827
Oh, my nose.
321
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:01,558
Gross.
322
00:13:09,349 --> 00:13:11,045
Oh, stan and kyle, just
the guys i wanted to see,
323
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,677
My "nambla" organization is having
a very important benefit in my honor.
324
00:13:13,712 --> 00:13:15,373
They are?
325
00:13:15,408 --> 00:13:17,572
We're going to have a big
mature party at this hotel
326
00:13:17,607 --> 00:13:19,736
And i can invite all
my mature friends that i want.
327
00:13:19,771 --> 00:13:21,467
And that means i'm going
to invite everybody,
328
00:13:21,899 --> 00:13:23,630
Except for
you guys!
329
00:13:24,063 --> 00:13:26,227
? Nyah-Nyah-Nyah
nyah-Nyah-Nyah?
330
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:28,391
We don't want to go to some
stupid adult meeting anyway.
331
00:13:28,426 --> 00:13:29,689
Well, that's nice,
because you can't go.
332
00:13:29,724 --> 00:13:30,555
We don't
want to go.
333
00:13:30,988 --> 00:13:31,818
You can't go.
334
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,719
We don'twant
to go.
335
00:13:33,151 --> 00:13:34,415
No, youcan'tgo.
336
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:37,444
Hey clyde, butters,
check this out!
337
00:13:37,479 --> 00:13:39,608
Dude, maybe wedoneed to
start being more mature.
338
00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:42,239
Yeah, i guess we've got to
try to get in that club, too.
339
00:13:46,134 --> 00:13:47,433
You're doing fine,
ms. Mccormick.
340
00:13:47,468 --> 00:13:49,130
It's all right, kenny.
341
00:13:49,164 --> 00:13:50,462
Come see
the miracle of life.
342
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,159
Ewww!
343
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:53,492
I can see his head.
You can?
344
00:13:53,526 --> 00:13:54,791
Push now,
push hard!
345
00:13:56,955 --> 00:13:57,820
Oh, my god!
346
00:13:59,118 --> 00:13:59,984
What is it!
347
00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:03,013
It's alive!
348
00:14:06,043 --> 00:14:07,774
Oh, my god!
It killed kenny!
349
00:14:08,206 --> 00:14:09,938
Bad baby, bad!
350
00:14:09,973 --> 00:14:12,066
Hmm?
351
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,698
That does it!
352
00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:20,757
Oh, hi kenny,
what are you doing?
353
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:25,084
What are you
doing kenny?
354
00:14:26,383 --> 00:14:28,680
Kenny, what are you
going to plunge?
355
00:14:28,715 --> 00:14:30,710
Grrrrr!
356
00:14:31,143 --> 00:14:32,009
Ahhhh!
357
00:14:32,441 --> 00:14:33,307
Kenny, what the
hell are you doing?
358
00:14:44,127 --> 00:14:45,390
What the hell?
359
00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:46,724
Hey, what the hell
are you guys doing here?
360
00:14:47,156 --> 00:14:48,022
This is for
mature people only.
361
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,718
We got invited too,
fat ass.
362
00:14:49,753 --> 00:14:52,350
Well, i guess nowadays they allow
any old schmucks into "nambla".
363
00:14:52,385 --> 00:14:54,046
Fellow nambla members,
364
00:14:54,081 --> 00:14:55,777
It is great to see
you all here.
365
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,408
It seems like we have finally
found a city that won't oppress us!
366
00:14:58,443 --> 00:15:00,104
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
367
00:15:00,139 --> 00:15:03,168
First and foremost, i want
to recognize eric cartman
368
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,198
For putting us in touch with
all you pretty young boys.
369
00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:07,894
Thank you,
thank you very much.
370
00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:11,175
Now, i know that many of us have
already found partners in this fine city
371
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,421
And i'd like to take a minute to
hear some testimonials from members.
372
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,684
This is boring.
Yeah.
373
00:15:15,719 --> 00:15:17,450
Hey, when are we going to
get to some action, huh?
374
00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:20,012
Oooh!
Ha-Ha!
375
00:15:20,047 --> 00:15:21,345
Goodness,
what a gift from god.
376
00:15:21,778 --> 00:15:23,908
We'll get to it very soon,
i'll assure you.
377
00:15:23,942 --> 00:15:26,972
But first, i'd just like to hear
from a couple of you on your progress.
378
00:15:27,006 --> 00:15:28,235
Yes, patrick.
379
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:31,732
I found a little 8-Year-Old
named butters,
380
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:33,463
He's a beautiful
bright little boy.
381
00:15:33,896 --> 00:15:35,592
Well, i sure am,
i guess.
382
00:15:35,627 --> 00:15:38,224
And his skin is as soft
as fresh linen.
383
00:15:38,657 --> 00:15:39,920
Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!
384
00:15:39,955 --> 00:15:41,218
That seems
kind of weird.
385
00:15:41,253 --> 00:15:43,417
Well, my skin is
"springtime" soft, i suppose.
386
00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:44,680
Wonderful.
387
00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:46,411
And how about you
mr. Harris?
388
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,909
Well, i want to announce that i may
have found the dream boy of the decade,
389
00:15:49,944 --> 00:15:52,505
He's sexy, sassy
and full of spark.
390
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,253
His name is timmy.
391
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:55,932
Timmy!
Tim-My?
392
00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:58,131
Well, members, i know
we're all eager
393
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,260
To get acquainted with
our new partners.
394
00:16:00,295 --> 00:16:03,757
So why don't we turn down
the lights and start the dance.
395
00:16:09,383 --> 00:16:11,547
All right, i want these perverted
bastards all taken in, got it?
396
00:16:11,582 --> 00:16:12,811
Got it!
397
00:16:12,845 --> 00:16:14,110
Fellow nambla members,
398
00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:15,659
As the south park
representative-
399
00:16:15,694 --> 00:16:17,174
Hold it right there!
Nobody move!
400
00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:18,437
What's going on?
401
00:16:18,472 --> 00:16:20,636
All right, sickos,
where are the children?
402
00:16:20,671 --> 00:16:21,502
What children?
403
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,665
This is "nambla",
yes. Right?
404
00:16:24,098 --> 00:16:26,262
"The north american
man-Boy love association".
405
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,560
What? No!
406
00:16:27,993 --> 00:16:31,888
We're "the north american
marlon brando look-A-Likes."
407
00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:33,636
Oh crap, we've got
the wrong "nambla".
408
00:16:33,671 --> 00:16:35,315
Oh, damn it, i'm
in the wrong place!
409
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,947
Don't tell me that other "nambla"
is actually in south park.
410
00:16:37,982 --> 00:16:39,643
You know of them?
411
00:16:39,678 --> 00:16:43,140
We've been fighting with them for
years over the rights to "nambla.Com".
412
00:16:43,175 --> 00:16:44,836
Yeah, those
perverted bastards!
413
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:47,900
Wow, you guys really dolook
a lot like marlon brando.
414
00:16:47,935 --> 00:16:48,766
Thank you.
415
00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:50,497
Now, let's go get those
other "nambla" bastards
416
00:16:50,532 --> 00:16:52,228
Before they hurt any
south park children!
417
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:53,526
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
418
00:16:53,959 --> 00:16:56,123
And let's kick their asses
for stealing our domain name!
419
00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:58,287
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
420
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,148
All right, members,
that's enough of that.
421
00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:04,779
It's time for for us all to
retire to our respective rooms
422
00:17:04,813 --> 00:17:06,943
And get to know
our new young boys.
423
00:17:06,978 --> 00:17:08,206
All right!
424
00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:10,405
Dude, being mature is boring. Yeah!
425
00:17:10,838 --> 00:17:15,598
Everyone come up and grab your
room keys and we'll head upstairs.
426
00:17:22,523 --> 00:17:23,786
Ahhh!
Ahhh! Ahahhh!
427
00:17:23,821 --> 00:17:27,716
Dude, i think these guys mean to
have sexual encounters with us!
428
00:17:28,149 --> 00:17:30,312
I know dude, let's get
the hell out of here!
429
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,476
Ah! There's more
of them, quick hide!
430
00:17:35,073 --> 00:17:36,769
Okay, marlon brandos!
431
00:17:36,804 --> 00:17:38,968
They've got to be here
somewhere, let's try this room.
432
00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:41,132
Let's get those perverts.
433
00:17:42,430 --> 00:17:43,728
Ah!
434
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,027
Sacre bleu!
435
00:17:45,459 --> 00:17:46,325
Whoa!
436
00:17:46,758 --> 00:17:48,455
Ahhh!
Ahhh!
437
00:17:48,489 --> 00:17:50,654
Kenny, no! Leave me
alone! Mmm-Hmm-Mmm.
438
00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:54,513
Kenny!
439
00:17:54,548 --> 00:17:56,712
This time i will
not drop the food.
440
00:17:56,747 --> 00:17:58,443
Where are
the boys?
441
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,040
Sacre bleu!
442
00:18:02,338 --> 00:18:04,069
I think the boys
went in here.
443
00:18:04,502 --> 00:18:06,666
Ah!
Timmy!
444
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:09,695
Maybe the boys
are in here, oh boys!
445
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:10,994
Ah!
446
00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:13,555
All right, you're
under arrest!
447
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:15,754
No, you've got
the wrong "nambla" again.
448
00:18:15,789 --> 00:18:16,585
Dammit!
449
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,351
Hey, we didn't
try that room.
450
00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:21,813
Sacre bleu.
451
00:18:22,245 --> 00:18:23,544
Dude, we're
surrounded by perverts.
452
00:18:23,579 --> 00:18:24,409
They're all over
the place.
453
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:25,673
Timmy!
454
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:26,573
What are we
going to do?
455
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,521
Well, cartman, you got
everybody into this,
456
00:18:28,556 --> 00:18:30,035
You gotta figure a way
to get everybody out.
457
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:30,918
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
458
00:18:30,953 --> 00:18:31,731
Uhh, that's fine.
459
00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:32,632
I know how
to get us out.
460
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:33,895
How?
461
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,661
Well, look those perverts
aren't going to rest
462
00:18:35,696 --> 00:18:37,392
Until they've made love
to one of us, right?
463
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,423
So somebody is just going
to have to go out there
464
00:18:40,457 --> 00:18:43,019
And take one
for the team.
465
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,347
And i think in all fairness,
it should be butters.
466
00:18:47,382 --> 00:18:49,476
Huh, well,
why me?
467
00:18:49,511 --> 00:18:50,774
Are you a team player
or not?
468
00:18:50,809 --> 00:18:52,973
Yeah, sure, i'm
a team player, i guess.
469
00:18:53,406 --> 00:18:54,704
Well, butters, there is
no "i" in team.
470
00:18:55,137 --> 00:18:58,166
You mean you expect me to go out
there and let all those horny old men
471
00:18:58,201 --> 00:18:59,897
Have their way with
my fragile person?
472
00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:01,593
Just what team
is this anyway?
473
00:19:01,628 --> 00:19:03,359
Just go, butters,
we're running out of time.
474
00:19:03,394 --> 00:19:04,658
Oh, all right then.
475
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:07,652
He's such
a dumb ass.
476
00:19:07,687 --> 00:19:09,418
All right, men,
here i come.
477
00:19:09,851 --> 00:19:11,980
I'm ready to
take one for the team.
478
00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:15,910
Kenny, kenny, i've had
enough of your shenanigins!
479
00:19:15,945 --> 00:19:17,641
Ooh, one of the boys
just came in!
480
00:19:17,676 --> 00:19:19,173
I get him first!
481
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,635
What the-?
482
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:22,401
Oh no!
Ahhhhh!
483
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,162
Are you all right,
stuart?
484
00:19:27,595 --> 00:19:28,426
Don't touch me.
485
00:19:28,461 --> 00:19:31,022
I've had my nuts broken,
body poisoned
486
00:19:31,057 --> 00:19:34,520
And been made love to in the
ass by 3 dozen 40-Year-Old men.
487
00:19:34,555 --> 00:19:37,982
I just want to go home
and take a hot bath.
488
00:19:38,414 --> 00:19:40,145
We've been after you
for a long time, buddy.
489
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,011
Do you know
your rights?
490
00:19:41,444 --> 00:19:43,391
Rights? Does anybody
know their rights?
491
00:19:43,426 --> 00:19:45,304
You see, i've learned
something today,
492
00:19:45,339 --> 00:19:50,099
Our forefathers came to this country
because they believed in an idea.
493
00:19:50,532 --> 00:19:51,830
An idea
called freedom.
494
00:19:52,263 --> 00:19:53,561
They wanted to live
in a place where a group
495
00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:55,690
Couldn't be prosecuted
for their beliefs.
496
00:19:55,725 --> 00:19:58,287
Where a person can live
the way he chooses to live.
497
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,351
You see us as being perverted
because we're different from you.
498
00:20:01,386 --> 00:20:03,913
People are afraid of us
because they don't understand.
499
00:20:03,948 --> 00:20:07,410
And sometimes it's easier to
persecute than to understand.
500
00:20:07,445 --> 00:20:10,439
Dude, you have
sex with children.
501
00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:12,569
We are human.
502
00:20:12,603 --> 00:20:15,201
Most of us didn't evenchooseto
be attracted to young boys,
503
00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:16,897
We were born
that way.
504
00:20:16,932 --> 00:20:18,628
We can't help
the way we are,
505
00:20:18,663 --> 00:20:21,692
And if you all can't
understand that, well,
506
00:20:21,727 --> 00:20:24,721
Then i guess you'll just
have to put us away.
507
00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:31,611
Dude, you have
sexwith children.
508
00:20:31,646 --> 00:20:32,944
Yeah, you know, we believe
in equality for everybody
509
00:20:33,377 --> 00:20:34,242
And all that gay stuff,
but dude,
510
00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:36,371
You.
Seriously.
511
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:40,734
Alright, that's enough, you're all
going to be put away for a long time.
512
00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,430
Well, cartman.
Well, what?
513
00:20:42,465 --> 00:20:44,196
Don't you think you owe everyone an
apology for bringing "nambla" here?
514
00:20:44,629 --> 00:20:45,061
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
515
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,325
All right,
all right.
516
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,091
I'm sorry i almost got
you guys all raped, there.
517
00:20:48,524 --> 00:20:50,687
And now do you still think you need
to hang out with older, mature friends?
518
00:20:50,722 --> 00:20:53,284
No, i guess you guys will
blossom into maturity someday,
519
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,448
Just don't
take too long.
520
00:20:55,483 --> 00:20:57,612
Okay, let's roll.
521
00:21:03,239 --> 00:21:04,537
Coo-Coochie-Coo
coo-Coochie-Coo.
522
00:21:04,571 --> 00:21:06,934
Our little angel,
yes.
523
00:21:06,969 --> 00:21:09,262
Oh, he's so beautiful!
524
00:21:09,297 --> 00:21:11,894
I know it's been hard on
both of us, losing poor kenny.
525
00:21:11,929 --> 00:21:13,625
But this knew baby
kinda reminds me of him.
526
00:21:14,058 --> 00:21:15,321
What should
we name him?
527
00:21:15,356 --> 00:21:17,520
Well, seeing as though
kenny passed away,
528
00:21:17,555 --> 00:21:19,251
Maybe we should
name him...
529
00:21:19,286 --> 00:21:20,082
Kenny.
530
00:21:20,117 --> 00:21:22,280
Yes, kenny is such
a great name.
531
00:21:22,713 --> 00:21:24,444
My little kenny,
a brand-New kenny.
532
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:29,205
God, this must have been the
50th time this has happened.
533
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,503
52nd.
534
00:00:01,531 --> 00:00:03,270
36853
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