All language subtitles for Comic Relief - Celebrity Wife Swap (2007)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,833 --> 00:00:04,989 Comic relief 2007 V�M�NA MAN�ELEK 2 00:00:05,578 --> 00:00:07,689 Tak rada za��n�. 3 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:10,378 Bod 1. Promi�te, ne� za�neme... 4 00:00:10,408 --> 00:00:11,711 Omlouv�m se, jestli jsem pedant, 5 00:00:11,741 --> 00:00:15,800 ale m��u se zeptat pro� je Jim �pln� nah�? 6 00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:21,483 Jsem v jednom z t�ch sn�, ve kter�ch se v�m zd�, 7 00:00:21,513 --> 00:00:23,949 �e jste na ve�ejnosti naz�. 8 00:00:23,979 --> 00:00:26,727 Pak se probud�te a jste v posteli. 9 00:00:26,757 --> 00:00:30,060 Jen tohle nen� sen, rozum�, Jime? 10 00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,223 Nen�? Ne, to nen�. 11 00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:35,400 Nechce� j�t dom� a obl�knout se? 12 00:00:35,430 --> 00:00:37,445 Ne, ne, ne, ani ne. 13 00:00:37,475 --> 00:00:39,045 Te� jsem tady. 14 00:00:39,585 --> 00:00:43,795 Bod 1, zd� se p��ern� televizn� reality show 15 00:00:43,825 --> 00:00:46,773 chce nat��et v na�� vesnici p�edstaven� s n�zvem, 16 00:00:46,803 --> 00:00:49,973 V�M�NA MAN�ELEK 17 00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:51,960 a cht�j�, aby toho z��astnila vik��ka. 18 00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:55,383 Asi jsem se stala tak trochu celebritou. 19 00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:57,605 Ty bude� ta anonymn�. 20 00:00:58,205 --> 00:01:01,338 Ned�lej to, vik��ko. Nesn��m lidi z televize. 21 00:01:01,368 --> 00:01:06,217 Pamatuje� si, kdy� p�ijel Bill Odie nato�it vz�cn�ho orla v kopc�ch? 22 00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:10,172 A j� ho st�elil do hlavy, aby si ho mohl l�pe prohl�dnout? 23 00:01:10,202 --> 00:01:12,350 A byl vd��n�? Ne. 24 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,231 Vousat� blbec! 25 00:01:14,853 --> 00:01:16,897 Neexistuje ��dn� �ance, 26 00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:21,853 �e se z��astn�m V�M�NY MAN�ELEK. 27 00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:25,817 Jak ��k�val kr�l Lear, 28 00:01:25,847 --> 00:01:28,328 Nikdy, nikdy, nikdy, nikdy ... 29 00:01:28,573 --> 00:01:29,661 nikdy. 30 00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:34,355 Mimochodem, kdo byla ta celebrita? 31 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,318 M�la jsi str�vit t�den se Stingem. 32 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,532 No tak tedy jo, kdy� mus�me! 33 00:01:45,328 --> 00:01:48,240 Poprv� odlou�eni, bude� mi moc chyb�t. 34 00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:49,528 Ty m� tak�. 35 00:01:49,538 --> 00:01:52,448 Jestli tedy maj� mu�i r�di Trudy Stillerovou. (man�elka Stinga) 36 00:01:52,449 --> 00:01:55,892 J� v�m, a proto m� na sob� to o�kliv� oble�en�. 37 00:01:56,918 --> 00:01:59,581 Div�m se, �e nejsi pro Stinga stejn� oble�en�. 38 00:01:59,611 --> 00:02:01,447 Pro� bych m�la? To je toho. 39 00:02:01,477 --> 00:02:03,988 Poj�, posp� si, jdi. 40 00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:11,861 Roxanne... 41 00:02:11,891 --> 00:02:14,893 Nemus� rozsv�tit �erven� sv�tlo. 42 00:02:15,453 --> 00:02:18,070 Roxanne... 43 00:02:28,799 --> 00:02:30,177 D�le ... 44 00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:38,694 Pro� kolem toho chlapa d�laj� takov� povyk? Kdo to v�bec je? 45 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,456 Ve skute�nosti byl v Police, (b�val� Stingova skupina) 46 00:02:42,457 --> 00:02:45,360 a kdy� odch�zel, napsal jednu z nejkr�sn�j��ch p�sn�. 47 00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:48,394 A je jedn�m z p�ti nejhez��ch mu�� na sv�t�. 48 00:02:48,424 --> 00:02:50,928 Tak uka�, jestli je to tak. 49 00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,020 � m�j bo�e... 50 00:02:54,336 --> 00:02:58,236 D�stojnost Geraldine. Jsi vik��ka, ne teenager. 51 00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:08,191 Dobr� den, vik��ko. 52 00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:10,329 Cht�l jsem v�d�t, jestli u� nep�ijel. 53 00:03:10,359 --> 00:03:12,369 Ne. Vypadni odtud! 54 00:03:12,804 --> 00:03:14,161 Po�kej. Co? 55 00:03:14,191 --> 00:03:16,613 N�jak� mu� t� chce vid�t. 56 00:03:27,209 --> 00:03:30,589 M�m pocit, �e jsme p��buzn�. 57 00:03:30,619 --> 00:03:33,692 Proto�e m�j str�c byl tak� na policii. 58 00:03:33,722 --> 00:03:35,389 To je jin� Policie. 59 00:03:35,419 --> 00:03:37,344 Ne, to si nemysl�m. 60 00:03:37,374 --> 00:03:38,966 Mysl�m, �e p�ich�z� k sob�. 61 00:03:38,996 --> 00:03:42,475 Ne, Stingu, je p��li� brzy. P�esta�. 62 00:03:47,077 --> 00:03:49,330 Tak, krasav�e, Alice se ti u� p�edstavila? 63 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,130 Ano, vedli jsme velmi zaj�mavou diskusi. 64 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,997 B�, Alice? Pot�ebujeme trochu �asu, abychom se poznali. 65 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,326 Dob�e, pr�v� jsem odch�zela. 66 00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:01,426 Velmi r�da jsem v�s poznala, pane String. 67 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,087 Sting. 68 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,999 Taky jsem v�s r�d poznal, Alice. 69 00:04:05,029 --> 00:04:06,910 Ale ne� p�jdu ... 70 00:04:08,376 --> 00:04:12,000 Chci v�m ��ct n�co velmi v�n�ho. (n�sleduj� skladby Stinga) 71 00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:14,707 Jste docela hezk�. 72 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:18,262 A Geraldine je jen �ena. 73 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:22,755 Ale: Ka�dou mali�kost, kterou ud�l�, je kouzlo 74 00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:27,599 A pokud v�m, chod� v Na bo��ch pl�n�ch. 75 00:04:27,844 --> 00:04:31,310 Kdybych v�m m�l zanechat Vzkaz v l�hvi. 76 00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,644 byl by to:, 77 00:04:32,674 --> 00:04:34,666 Ka�d� pohyb, kter� ud�l�, 78 00:04:34,696 --> 00:04:37,177 Ka�d� tv�j n�dech. 79 00:04:37,207 --> 00:04:39,466 Budu t� sledovat, 80 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,777 jestli se ji jen dotkne�, 81 00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:46,147 tvou kr�snou tv���, a tv�m drsn�m hlasem, 82 00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:48,747 zabiju t�. 83 00:04:48,777 --> 00:04:50,157 Rozum�m. 84 00:04:50,902 --> 00:04:52,191 Ahoj, Alice. 85 00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:56,862 Kde za�neme? 86 00:04:56,892 --> 00:04:58,685 Lo�nice? 87 00:05:02,818 --> 00:05:04,750 Nem�l bys ... 88 00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:06,212 Dob�e, jdeme. 89 00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:07,683 D�lal jsem si srandu. 90 00:05:07,921 --> 00:05:10,832 Samoz�ejm� sis d�lala srandu, j� taky. 91 00:05:12,106 --> 00:05:14,039 Bude to dlouh� t�den. 92 00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:17,301 Vaj��ka jsou hyperaktivn�. 93 00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:21,667 Mohu v�s po��dat, 94 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:25,111 abychom to dnes ud�lali jako norm�ln� sch�zi, 95 00:05:25,141 --> 00:05:27,916 a budeme p�edst�rat, �e Sting tady nen�? 96 00:05:28,172 --> 00:05:29,298 97 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:32,364 Bod 1. Ne� budeme pokra�ovat, r�d bych �ekl, ... 98 00:05:32,394 --> 00:05:35,231 jak jsem zklaman�, �e tu nen� Sting. 99 00:05:35,261 --> 00:05:38,356 Myslel jsem, �e podpo�� vik��ku v jej�ch povinnostech. 100 00:05:38,386 --> 00:05:39,290 Souhlas�m. 101 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,823 Jsem r�d, �e tu nen�. 102 00:05:41,853 --> 00:05:44,267 Stejn� se mi jeho hudba nel�b�. 103 00:05:44,662 --> 00:05:45,978 Ne, ne, ne, ne ... 104 00:05:46,008 --> 00:05:47,907 nen� �patn�. 105 00:05:50,825 --> 00:05:54,514 Den zm�ny pravidel. Moje pravidla, te�. 106 00:05:54,544 --> 00:05:57,158 Pravidlo 1, j� budu va�it, 107 00:05:57,188 --> 00:05:59,747 co� bude hodn� dort� a tak. 108 00:06:00,169 --> 00:06:05,747 A pravidlo 2, ve�ker� �klid a myt� je na tob�. 109 00:06:05,777 --> 00:06:06,596 Dob�e, ehm... 110 00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:07,902 Promi�, je�t� jsem neskon�ila. 111 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:10,520 ... bude� p�itom nah�. 112 00:06:10,522 --> 00:06:12,025 Fakt? Ano. 113 00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:15,403 Takov� jsou pravidla, zlato, vzr��o. 114 00:06:29,331 --> 00:06:31,723 Funguje to. 115 00:06:32,746 --> 00:06:34,242 V�dycky. 116 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:41,596 Nem��u uv��it, �e je konec. 117 00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:45,641 Byl to skv�l� t�den, bylo to jako... 118 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:48,707 Jako spln�n� sen. 119 00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:50,241 Nevad�, kdy� n�co �eknu? 120 00:06:50,271 --> 00:06:51,076 Ne. 121 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,320 Douf�m, �e se to nestane. 122 00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:56,498 Ale pokud se ve tv�m man�elstv� n�co pokaz�, 123 00:06:56,528 --> 00:06:59,565 a ocitne� se sama, ... 124 00:06:59,595 --> 00:07:03,095 byl bych r�d, abys mi dala v�d�t, 125 00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:05,362 �e jsi voln�, 126 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,705 proto�e bych to r�d v�d�l. 127 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,073 Opravdu? 128 00:07:10,339 --> 00:07:11,354 Opravdu? 129 00:07:11,384 --> 00:07:13,531 Jen ti zavol�m a ty... 130 00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:17,424 Po��d�m t�, jestli bys va�ila pro Trudy a m�. 131 00:07:17,454 --> 00:07:20,665 Hlavn� sladkosti a dorty... 132 00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:24,226 A n�kdy po ve�e�i m��e� p�ij�t a ��ct vtip, 133 00:07:24,256 --> 00:07:26,727 a j�t zase dom�. 134 00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:31,981 Dob�e. 135 00:07:32,011 --> 00:07:33,581 Skv�le. 136 00:07:34,514 --> 00:07:37,286 Neuv��iteln� bolestiv�. 137 00:07:38,336 --> 00:07:40,314 138 00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:44,670 Tak, jak to s v�mi dv�ma dopadlo? 139 00:07:44,886 --> 00:07:46,977 M�r, bezpe�� a po��dek? 140 00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:48,799 Jo a pak... 141 00:07:48,829 --> 00:07:51,252 p�ed chv�l�, ne! 142 00:07:51,629 --> 00:07:53,585 M�li jste se dob�e? 143 00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:57,541 �lo n�m to skv�le. Je to tak zlat��ko? 144 00:07:57,571 --> 00:07:59,408 Absolutn� jsem ho milovala. 145 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,684 Opravdu? 146 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,417 Pak jsem r�da, �e jsem ud�lala dva dorty. 147 00:08:03,447 --> 00:08:05,817 Pro� tento, 148 00:08:06,347 --> 00:08:08,017 je pro tebe... 149 00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:10,040 A tenhle, 150 00:08:10,271 --> 00:08:12,093 je pro tebe. 151 00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:17,671 A� �ije Reality TV. 152 00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:20,711 V�dy p�ich�z� s nejlep��mi lidmi. 11030

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