All language subtitles for Comic Relief - Celebrity Wife Swap (2007)
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1
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Comic relief 2007
V�M�NA MAN�ELEK
2
00:00:05,578 --> 00:00:07,689
Tak rada za��n�.
3
00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:10,378
Bod 1.
Promi�te, ne� za�neme...
4
00:00:10,408 --> 00:00:11,711
Omlouv�m se, jestli jsem pedant,
5
00:00:11,741 --> 00:00:15,800
ale m��u se zeptat pro� je Jim �pln� nah�?
6
00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:21,483
Jsem v jednom z t�ch sn�,
ve kter�ch se v�m zd�,
7
00:00:21,513 --> 00:00:23,949
�e jste na ve�ejnosti naz�.
8
00:00:23,979 --> 00:00:26,727
Pak se probud�te a jste v posteli.
9
00:00:26,757 --> 00:00:30,060
Jen tohle nen� sen, rozum�, Jime?
10
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,223
Nen�?
Ne, to nen�.
11
00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:35,400
Nechce� j�t dom� a obl�knout se?
12
00:00:35,430 --> 00:00:37,445
Ne, ne, ne, ani ne.
13
00:00:37,475 --> 00:00:39,045
Te� jsem tady.
14
00:00:39,585 --> 00:00:43,795
Bod 1, zd� se p��ern� televizn� reality show
15
00:00:43,825 --> 00:00:46,773
chce nat��et v na�� vesnici
p�edstaven� s n�zvem,
16
00:00:46,803 --> 00:00:49,973
V�M�NA MAN�ELEK
17
00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:51,960
a cht�j�, aby toho z��astnila vik��ka.
18
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:55,383
Asi jsem se stala tak trochu celebritou.
19
00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:57,605
Ty bude� ta anonymn�.
20
00:00:58,205 --> 00:01:01,338
Ned�lej to, vik��ko.
Nesn��m lidi z televize.
21
00:01:01,368 --> 00:01:06,217
Pamatuje� si, kdy� p�ijel Bill Odie nato�it
vz�cn�ho orla v kopc�ch?
22
00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:10,172
A j� ho st�elil do hlavy,
aby si ho mohl l�pe prohl�dnout?
23
00:01:10,202 --> 00:01:12,350
A byl vd��n�?
Ne.
24
00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,231
Vousat� blbec!
25
00:01:14,853 --> 00:01:16,897
Neexistuje ��dn� �ance,
26
00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:21,853
�e se z��astn�m
V�M�NY MAN�ELEK.
27
00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:25,817
Jak ��k�val kr�l Lear,
28
00:01:25,847 --> 00:01:28,328
Nikdy, nikdy, nikdy, nikdy ...
29
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nikdy.
30
00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:34,355
Mimochodem, kdo byla ta celebrita?
31
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,318
M�la jsi str�vit t�den se Stingem.
32
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,532
No tak tedy jo, kdy� mus�me!
33
00:01:45,328 --> 00:01:48,240
Poprv� odlou�eni, bude� mi moc chyb�t.
34
00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:49,528
Ty m� tak�.
35
00:01:49,538 --> 00:01:52,448
Jestli tedy maj� mu�i r�di Trudy Stillerovou.
(man�elka Stinga)
36
00:01:52,449 --> 00:01:55,892
J� v�m, a proto m� na sob�
to o�kliv� oble�en�.
37
00:01:56,918 --> 00:01:59,581
Div�m se, �e nejsi pro Stinga
stejn� oble�en�.
38
00:01:59,611 --> 00:02:01,447
Pro� bych m�la?
To je toho.
39
00:02:01,477 --> 00:02:03,988
Poj�, posp� si, jdi.
40
00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:11,861
Roxanne...
41
00:02:11,891 --> 00:02:14,893
Nemus� rozsv�tit �erven� sv�tlo.
42
00:02:15,453 --> 00:02:18,070
Roxanne...
43
00:02:28,799 --> 00:02:30,177
D�le ...
44
00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:38,694
Pro� kolem toho chlapa d�laj� takov� povyk?
Kdo to v�bec je?
45
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,456
Ve skute�nosti byl v Police,
(b�val� Stingova skupina)
46
00:02:42,457 --> 00:02:45,360
a kdy� odch�zel, napsal
jednu z nejkr�sn�j��ch p�sn�.
47
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:48,394
A je jedn�m z p�ti nejhez��ch mu��
na sv�t�.
48
00:02:48,424 --> 00:02:50,928
Tak uka�, jestli je to tak.
49
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,020
� m�j bo�e...
50
00:02:54,336 --> 00:02:58,236
D�stojnost Geraldine. Jsi vik��ka,
ne teenager.
51
00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:08,191
Dobr� den, vik��ko.
52
00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:10,329
Cht�l jsem v�d�t, jestli u� nep�ijel.
53
00:03:10,359 --> 00:03:12,369
Ne. Vypadni odtud!
54
00:03:12,804 --> 00:03:14,161
Po�kej.
Co?
55
00:03:14,191 --> 00:03:16,613
N�jak� mu� t� chce vid�t.
56
00:03:27,209 --> 00:03:30,589
M�m pocit, �e jsme p��buzn�.
57
00:03:30,619 --> 00:03:33,692
Proto�e m�j str�c byl tak�
na policii.
58
00:03:33,722 --> 00:03:35,389
To je jin�
Policie.
59
00:03:35,419 --> 00:03:37,344
Ne, to si nemysl�m.
60
00:03:37,374 --> 00:03:38,966
Mysl�m, �e p�ich�z� k sob�.
61
00:03:38,996 --> 00:03:42,475
Ne, Stingu, je p��li� brzy. P�esta�.
62
00:03:47,077 --> 00:03:49,330
Tak, krasav�e, Alice se ti u� p�edstavila?
63
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,130
Ano, vedli jsme velmi zaj�mavou diskusi.
64
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,997
B�, Alice? Pot�ebujeme trochu �asu,
abychom se poznali.
65
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,326
Dob�e, pr�v� jsem odch�zela.
66
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:01,426
Velmi r�da jsem v�s poznala,
pane String.
67
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,087
Sting.
68
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,999
Taky jsem v�s r�d poznal, Alice.
69
00:04:05,029 --> 00:04:06,910
Ale ne� p�jdu ...
70
00:04:08,376 --> 00:04:12,000
Chci v�m ��ct n�co velmi v�n�ho.
(n�sleduj� skladby Stinga)
71
00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:14,707
Jste docela hezk�.
72
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:18,262
A Geraldine je jen �ena.
73
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:22,755
Ale:
Ka�dou mali�kost, kterou ud�l�,
je kouzlo
74
00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:27,599
A pokud v�m, chod� v
Na bo��ch pl�n�ch.
75
00:04:27,844 --> 00:04:31,310
Kdybych v�m m�l zanechat
Vzkaz v l�hvi.
76
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,644
byl by to:,
77
00:04:32,674 --> 00:04:34,666
Ka�d� pohyb, kter� ud�l�,
78
00:04:34,696 --> 00:04:37,177
Ka�d� tv�j n�dech.
79
00:04:37,207 --> 00:04:39,466
Budu t� sledovat,
80
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,777
jestli se ji jen dotkne�,
81
00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:46,147
tvou kr�snou tv���,
a tv�m drsn�m hlasem,
82
00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:48,747
zabiju t�.
83
00:04:48,777 --> 00:04:50,157
Rozum�m.
84
00:04:50,902 --> 00:04:52,191
Ahoj, Alice.
85
00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:56,862
Kde za�neme?
86
00:04:56,892 --> 00:04:58,685
Lo�nice?
87
00:05:02,818 --> 00:05:04,750
Nem�l bys ...
88
00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:06,212
Dob�e, jdeme.
89
00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:07,683
D�lal jsem si srandu.
90
00:05:07,921 --> 00:05:10,832
Samoz�ejm� sis d�lala srandu, j� taky.
91
00:05:12,106 --> 00:05:14,039
Bude to dlouh� t�den.
92
00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:17,301
Vaj��ka jsou hyperaktivn�.
93
00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:21,667
Mohu v�s po��dat,
94
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:25,111
abychom to dnes ud�lali jako
norm�ln� sch�zi,
95
00:05:25,141 --> 00:05:27,916
a budeme p�edst�rat,
�e Sting tady nen�?
96
00:05:28,172 --> 00:05:29,298
97
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:32,364
Bod 1.
Ne� budeme pokra�ovat, r�d bych �ekl, ...
98
00:05:32,394 --> 00:05:35,231
jak jsem zklaman�, �e tu nen� Sting.
99
00:05:35,261 --> 00:05:38,356
Myslel jsem, �e podpo�� vik��ku
v jej�ch povinnostech.
100
00:05:38,386 --> 00:05:39,290
Souhlas�m.
101
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,823
Jsem r�d, �e tu nen�.
102
00:05:41,853 --> 00:05:44,267
Stejn� se mi jeho hudba nel�b�.
103
00:05:44,662 --> 00:05:45,978
Ne, ne, ne, ne ...
104
00:05:46,008 --> 00:05:47,907
nen� �patn�.
105
00:05:50,825 --> 00:05:54,514
Den zm�ny pravidel.
Moje pravidla, te�.
106
00:05:54,544 --> 00:05:57,158
Pravidlo 1, j� budu va�it,
107
00:05:57,188 --> 00:05:59,747
co� bude hodn� dort� a tak.
108
00:06:00,169 --> 00:06:05,747
A pravidlo 2,
ve�ker� �klid a myt� je na tob�.
109
00:06:05,777 --> 00:06:06,596
Dob�e, ehm...
110
00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:07,902
Promi�, je�t� jsem neskon�ila.
111
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:10,520
... bude� p�itom nah�.
112
00:06:10,522 --> 00:06:12,025
Fakt?
Ano.
113
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:15,403
Takov� jsou pravidla, zlato,
vzr��o.
114
00:06:29,331 --> 00:06:31,723
Funguje to.
115
00:06:32,746 --> 00:06:34,242
V�dycky.
116
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:41,596
Nem��u uv��it, �e je konec.
117
00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:45,641
Byl to skv�l� t�den, bylo to jako...
118
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:48,707
Jako spln�n� sen.
119
00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:50,241
Nevad�, kdy� n�co �eknu?
120
00:06:50,271 --> 00:06:51,076
Ne.
121
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,320
Douf�m, �e se to nestane.
122
00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:56,498
Ale pokud se ve tv�m man�elstv�
n�co pokaz�,
123
00:06:56,528 --> 00:06:59,565
a ocitne� se sama, ...
124
00:06:59,595 --> 00:07:03,095
byl bych r�d, abys mi dala v�d�t,
125
00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:05,362
�e jsi voln�,
126
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,705
proto�e bych to r�d v�d�l.
127
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,073
Opravdu?
128
00:07:10,339 --> 00:07:11,354
Opravdu?
129
00:07:11,384 --> 00:07:13,531
Jen ti zavol�m a ty...
130
00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:17,424
Po��d�m t�, jestli bys va�ila
pro Trudy a m�.
131
00:07:17,454 --> 00:07:20,665
Hlavn� sladkosti a dorty...
132
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:24,226
A n�kdy po ve�e�i
m��e� p�ij�t a ��ct vtip,
133
00:07:24,256 --> 00:07:26,727
a j�t zase dom�.
134
00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:31,981
Dob�e.
135
00:07:32,011 --> 00:07:33,581
Skv�le.
136
00:07:34,514 --> 00:07:37,286
Neuv��iteln� bolestiv�.
137
00:07:38,336 --> 00:07:40,314
138
00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:44,670
Tak, jak to s v�mi dv�ma dopadlo?
139
00:07:44,886 --> 00:07:46,977
M�r, bezpe�� a po��dek?
140
00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:48,799
Jo a pak...
141
00:07:48,829 --> 00:07:51,252
p�ed chv�l�, ne!
142
00:07:51,629 --> 00:07:53,585
M�li jste se dob�e?
143
00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:57,541
�lo n�m to skv�le.
Je to tak zlat��ko?
144
00:07:57,571 --> 00:07:59,408
Absolutn� jsem ho milovala.
145
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,684
Opravdu?
146
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,417
Pak jsem r�da, �e jsem ud�lala dva dorty.
147
00:08:03,447 --> 00:08:05,817
Pro� tento,
148
00:08:06,347 --> 00:08:08,017
je pro tebe...
149
00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:10,040
A tenhle,
150
00:08:10,271 --> 00:08:12,093
je pro tebe.
151
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:17,671
A� �ije Reality TV.
152
00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:20,711
V�dy p�ich�z� s nejlep��mi lidmi.
11030