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3x10 - Amber Alert
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So on this sad, and yet happy day,
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let's all raise a glass
to celebrate the retirement
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00:00:07,845 --> 00:00:09,879
of everyone's favorite park ranger,
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00:00:09,881 --> 00:00:13,649
the glue that held us all
together for so many years, to...
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00:00:13,651 --> 00:00:16,352
- Harold.
- Who the [bleep] is Harold?
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- I've never heard of him.
- Woody put him on
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lookout duty in the
fire tower 20 years ago
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and forgot to relieve him.
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So he spent two decades
by himself in a small tower?
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00:00:24,729 --> 00:00:27,162
Wow, he's lucky he didn't go nuts.
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00:00:27,164 --> 00:00:29,832
You're the devil.
I will burn you!
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You got to catch me first.
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00:00:33,504 --> 00:00:36,438
Tequila sunrise, hold the sunrise.
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- It's on the house.
- Well, aren't you a sweetheart?
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Do you really think the bartender
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00:00:43,614 --> 00:00:46,548
just gave you a free drink
because he's a sweetheart?
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00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:49,785
- Yeah, why else?
- Because your pants are so tight,
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00:00:49,787 --> 00:00:53,455
- I can read the mileage on your vagina.
- That is so sexist.
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I don't get preferential
treatment because of my looks.
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He gives out drinks
because he's a nice guy.
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- Can I get a glass of tap water?
- Beat it, sea world.
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♪ Brickleberry ♪
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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Woody, after two years of hard work,
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00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,248
my sanctuary for orphan baby
animals is almost complete.
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Will you throw me
a big grand opening party?
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Sure, Ethel, whatever you want.
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Yes! See, Malloy?
It's not about my good looks.
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- It's about my good ideas.
- Ohh, yeah...
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Of course it is.
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- Woody... could I...
- No, [bleep] off!
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Listen, people,
now that our darling Harold
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00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:37,366
has retired to Florida...
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I thought they locked him
up in a mental institution.
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Florida, mental institution...
what's the difference?
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00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,982
Anyway,
we need a new ranger A.S.A.P.
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00:01:45,085 --> 00:01:48,294
Now, I got some money from Jackubowski
to shoot a recruitment video.
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00:01:48,296 --> 00:01:51,263
It's got to be good...
like, Godfather III good.
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Not dog shit like them first two.
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Ethel, since you're the only
person here with a somewhat
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human appearance, you're
gonna be my lead actress.
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Woody, did you forget something?
It's the first of the month.
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00:02:02,076 --> 00:02:04,310
Oh, yeah, that's right.
The ranger of the month is...
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- Steve again.
- Yay.
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00:02:07,248 --> 00:02:08,981
Now, if you'll excuse me,
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00:02:08,983 --> 00:02:11,117
I have to go to my office
for an important meeting.
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00:02:11,119 --> 00:02:14,086
And I have to call my mom
and tell her the good news.
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00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:19,859
Hey...
I know that ringtone.
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00:02:19,861 --> 00:02:22,795
Hi, mom.
Mom! What are you doing?!
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Hi, honey.
Ooh!
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- We were just, uh...
- Oh, I lost my car keys.
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00:02:27,602 --> 00:02:31,137
I was looking for them with my dick
in your mom's cooch.
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00:02:31,139 --> 00:02:32,872
You're screwing my mom!
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00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:37,810
- Look, honey, it's complicated.
- No, it's not. It's simple.
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00:02:37,812 --> 00:02:40,212
Your mom had sex with
me to get you a job here,
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00:02:40,214 --> 00:02:41,947
and every month since
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00:02:41,949 --> 00:02:44,350
so you can be ranger of the
month even though you suck!
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00:02:44,352 --> 00:02:46,385
What?
But I earned this medal.
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00:02:46,387 --> 00:02:49,789
- I'm not a bad ranger.
- Yeah, just like my balls
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ain't slapping around
on your mom's ass crack.
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00:02:51,893 --> 00:02:54,326
Oh, sorry you had to
find out like this, dear.
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00:02:54,328 --> 00:02:58,497
Oh, got them!
Hey, hang on, I don't drive a Saab.
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00:02:58,499 --> 00:03:02,201
Ranger recruitment video, take one.
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00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:04,236
And... action!
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00:03:04,238 --> 00:03:07,502
Why would you want to work
at Brickleberry National Park?
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Here's two reasons.
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00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,931
Now jump up and down and
shake that sweater meat.
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00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,344
Boing-boing.
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00:03:12,346 --> 00:03:14,746
Cut! That's not your line.
That's your direction.
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00:03:14,748 --> 00:03:16,548
Now get them B-cups bouncin'.
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Screw this. I'm outta here.
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Fine! I don't need you!
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00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:22,588
I don't need any of you!
Get the hell off my set.
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I'll finish this crap myself.
Ow!
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Woody's a real mother[bleep].
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What's the matter, sweetie?
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00:03:37,438 --> 00:03:40,005
What's the matter?
You're banging my boss
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so I could be ranger of the month.
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00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:44,543
Oh, you're still upset about that?
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00:03:44,545 --> 00:03:46,044
It's really not a big deal.
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00:03:46,046 --> 00:03:50,582
I'd do anything with anyone
for my son. Always have.
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00:03:50,584 --> 00:03:53,885
Wait...
You've done this before?
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00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:56,622
- Faster! Faster!
- But the light's red.
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00:03:56,624 --> 00:03:58,757
Don't stop.
Oh, don't stop!
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00:03:58,759 --> 00:04:00,459
Okay.
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00:04:02,362 --> 00:04:05,631
Great job.
You passed.
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00:04:13,873 --> 00:04:16,608
You had sex with everyone
on the opposing team?
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00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:17,976
That was a long day.
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00:04:17,978 --> 00:04:21,380
- Anywho, pizza for dinner?
- Jeez, mom.
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00:04:21,382 --> 00:04:22,881
You have to promise me that you won't
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00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,983
sleep with anybody else
in order to help me out.
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00:04:24,985 --> 00:04:26,652
I'm taking my life back.
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00:04:26,654 --> 00:04:29,821
You hear me?
Mom!
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00:04:29,823 --> 00:04:32,858
Ease back, cochise.
It's just the tip.
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00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:38,297
All right, here it is,
the finished recruitment video.
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Denzel, try not to talk to the screen.
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Ha!
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Brickleberry!
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00:05:08,696 --> 00:05:10,862
The legend continues!
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00:05:13,499 --> 00:05:15,133
What the hell was that?
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00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:18,937
That was $3.2 million
of taxpayer money well-spent.
103
00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:20,839
But it doesn't make any sense.
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00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:23,875
Eh, screw you. It worked.
Look at all these applicants.
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00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:26,778
Navy seal, green beret, Ted Nugent.
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00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:29,981
I'll handle the hiring process.
We need to show these applicants
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that working here is serious business.
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♪ Da da-da-da da daah... ♪
Pow!
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Ha-ha, got her.
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Welcome to hell week.
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00:05:39,727 --> 00:05:41,626
You want to be a Brickleberry ranger?
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00:05:41,628 --> 00:05:43,795
Well, this is your chance to prove it.
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00:05:43,797 --> 00:05:46,798
For those who can't cut it,
ring the loser bell.
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00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,569
- Who's that?
- One of your coworkers if you make it.
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00:05:50,571 --> 00:05:52,137
You'll be seeing her every day.
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00:05:52,139 --> 00:05:53,505
- Me first!
- Me first!
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00:05:55,843 --> 00:05:59,644
- Sorry I'm late.
- Looks like we have a winner.
118
00:06:01,347 --> 00:06:03,482
Woody, it's been a difficult search,
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00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:05,217
but I think I've found our ranger.
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00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:06,718
Dirk, come on in.
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00:06:08,856 --> 00:06:10,589
Meet Dirk Mahogany.
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00:06:10,591 --> 00:06:12,875
He's a former navy seal,
and he was the guy who
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00:06:12,876 --> 00:06:14,926
landed the kill shot
that took down Bin Laden.
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00:06:14,928 --> 00:06:19,998
Oh, and best of all, he is an
expert on orphan baby animals.
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00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,501
Hey, sounds terrific.
Good job, Ethel.
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00:06:25,739 --> 00:06:31,109
- Holy shit.
- Hi, I'm Amber.
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- Wow.
- Damn!
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I'm here about the job.
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00:06:37,551 --> 00:06:39,751
Yeah, actually,
we've already decided...
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- That you're hired.
- Oh, goodie!
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00:06:41,855 --> 00:06:44,227
- What?
- Yes!
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00:06:46,997 --> 00:06:50,032
Woody, how could you
possibly hire that girl?
133
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,801
Do you know what she did
her first morning on the job?
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00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,037
You shot my husband!
135
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,806
Oh, I thought he was
a bear attacking you.
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00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:00,976
He's not a bear!
He's just Armenian.
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00:07:00,978 --> 00:07:04,880
- It's okay. She's hot.
- Bear!
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00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:07,649
So the world has one
less clogged shower drain.
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00:07:07,651 --> 00:07:09,651
Amber ain't going anywhere, Ethel.
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00:07:09,653 --> 00:07:12,054
Good morning, everybody.
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00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,022
So, Ethel, how's it
feel to be the new Connie?
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00:07:14,024 --> 00:07:17,993
Woody, I put all my dirty panties
in your cabin like you asked.
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00:07:17,995 --> 00:07:19,895
What's my next assignment?
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00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,664
Oh, pick up them pencils
I dropped on the floor.
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- Where?
- Here's good.
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Nice and slow-like.
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- This job is easy.
- Whoops!
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00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,326
Oh, it's like I have
lotion all over my hands.
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00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:35,694
I have dry skin.
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00:07:35,696 --> 00:07:37,863
Plus I beat off earlier.
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00:07:37,865 --> 00:07:39,665
Can I have a five-minute break?
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00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,534
I need to wring out my spanx.
Oh, god.
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00:07:42,536 --> 00:07:45,971
Whatever.
At least Amber can't do much damage
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after she replaces crazy
Harold up in the fire tower.
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Fire tower?
The hell with that.
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She has more important things to do.
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00:07:51,445 --> 00:07:54,013
- Like what?
- Whoopsie!
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00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:57,683
- Denzel, you're going to the fire tower.
- So let me get this straight.
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00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,852
I'll be up there by myself
with nothing at all to do?
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00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,787
- Uh-huh.
- Sounds like my dream job.
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00:08:01,789 --> 00:08:03,655
See y'all crackers later.
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00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,624
But aren't you afraid
you'll go insane up there
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00:08:05,626 --> 00:08:07,659
all by yourself, like Harold did?
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00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:10,529
I ain't gonna go insane.
Only white people go insane.
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00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,031
Y'all don't know how to relax.
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00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,533
I'll bet you go crazy
within five minutes.
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00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,368
Oh, whatever, man.
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00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,404
Wow, I'll really miss that [bleep]
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00:08:18,406 --> 00:08:19,671
when he goes to the fire tower.
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00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:23,409
Whoa.
We don't use that term here.
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00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:26,011
Oh, sorry.
I'll really miss that [bleep]
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00:08:26,013 --> 00:08:28,080
when he goes to the "watchtower."
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00:08:28,082 --> 00:08:31,884
Aw, I've never seen
racism be so adorable.
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00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,852
Well, I'm sure Denzel wouldn't agree.
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00:08:33,854 --> 00:08:36,488
Yes, I would. It's only
wrong when ugly people say it.
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- Bye, Amber.
- Bye, [bleep]!
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00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,593
You know what?
Screw you guys.
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00:08:41,595 --> 00:08:44,763
I'm going to go work on my
orphan baby animal sanctuary.
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00:08:44,765 --> 00:08:47,566
Oh, I want to go!
I like baby "aminals."
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00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,435
Anything for you, honeypot.
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00:08:49,437 --> 00:08:51,603
Ethel, take Amber and
show her the ropes.
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00:08:51,605 --> 00:08:55,541
Oh, I'd love to show her the ropes.
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00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:58,343
Wow, she's dead and she's
still hotter than Ethel.
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00:08:58,345 --> 00:09:00,122
God damn it!
185
00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:03,702
These are all lies.
Lies, lies, lies!
186
00:09:03,704 --> 00:09:06,872
I didn't earn these.
My mom's vagina did.
187
00:09:06,874 --> 00:09:09,141
More like your mom's vagina did.
188
00:09:09,143 --> 00:09:11,510
Wait, wait, did you just
beat me to my own insult?
189
00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:14,513
Steve, you just accomplished
something on your own.
190
00:09:14,515 --> 00:09:16,915
I did? I mean, I did!
191
00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:19,685
Unless my mom banged you
so you would say that.
192
00:09:19,687 --> 00:09:22,521
No, but she did bang
you into first place
193
00:09:22,523 --> 00:09:25,657
for a hot dog eating contest.
194
00:09:25,659 --> 00:09:29,528
Huh, I guess we both swallowed
a lot of wieners that day.
195
00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:31,730
Hey, that gives me an idea.
196
00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:34,499
I can go back and try
to earn all these things
197
00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:37,569
I've gotten in life,
but for real this time.
198
00:09:37,571 --> 00:09:40,606
Mom, I want a list of
everybody you've ever banged
199
00:09:40,608 --> 00:09:42,674
in order to get me something in life.
200
00:09:42,676 --> 00:09:44,942
She's faxing it to me now.
201
00:09:47,847 --> 00:09:49,715
Who has a fax machine?
202
00:09:49,717 --> 00:09:51,850
Oh, I was in staples and
someone just gave it to me,
203
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,119
and I... God damn it, mom!
204
00:09:54,121 --> 00:09:57,222
- I guess they found her easy button.
- I guess they found her...
205
00:09:57,224 --> 00:09:58,857
Oh, I could have taken the week off.
206
00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:02,527
Ha!
207
00:10:02,529 --> 00:10:03,562
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
208
00:10:03,564 --> 00:10:05,631
Hee-ya!
209
00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:09,134
- I did it on my own this time.
- Yes, you did.
210
00:10:09,136 --> 00:10:12,938
But I miss giving your mother
fist training in her lady parts.
211
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:14,940
Hi-ya!
Hi-ya!
212
00:10:14,942 --> 00:10:16,775
Ho-ya!
213
00:10:18,544 --> 00:10:21,713
Oh, cute, cute, cute!
214
00:10:21,715 --> 00:10:24,249
Be careful.
I rescued that poor little guy
215
00:10:24,251 --> 00:10:25,817
after his parents were
killed by predators.
216
00:10:25,819 --> 00:10:28,120
Oh, no, the Predator?
217
00:10:28,122 --> 00:10:30,822
Someone call
Arnold Schwarze-[bleep]!
218
00:10:30,824 --> 00:10:33,058
That's not how you
pronounce it, at all.
219
00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:34,893
Hey, little birdie.
220
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,929
You don't need to be so sad.
Here.
221
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:39,264
What did you just do?
222
00:10:39,266 --> 00:10:41,833
I gave it a zoloft to make him happy.
223
00:10:41,835 --> 00:10:43,835
You can't give a bird zoloft!
224
00:10:45,773 --> 00:10:49,775
Oh, no.
That adderall will take the edge off.
225
00:10:49,777 --> 00:10:54,215
See?
Fly away, god's creature.
226
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,617
What a dream job,
227
00:10:58,619 --> 00:11:00,252
getting paid for sitting
on my ass and chilling.
228
00:11:00,254 --> 00:11:02,521
Them fools think I'm gonna
go crazy in five minutes
229
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,089
just because I'm up here by myself.
230
00:11:04,091 --> 00:11:05,824
I've already been up here four minutes,
231
00:11:05,826 --> 00:11:07,592
and I ain't never felt
more sane in my life.
232
00:11:07,594 --> 00:11:09,461
Ain't that right, owl
made out of spaghetti?
233
00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:10,862
Don't-a worry, Denzel.
234
00:11:10,864 --> 00:11:14,963
I think-a you're
gonna be just-a fine.
235
00:11:15,102 --> 00:11:18,970
Thank you all for being here tonight
to celebrate the opening
236
00:11:18,972 --> 00:11:22,674
of the Ethel Anderson
Orphan animal sanctuary.
237
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:24,976
Hello?
238
00:11:24,978 --> 00:11:28,980
So... do asian people
see the world in letterbox?
239
00:11:28,982 --> 00:11:31,550
Sure, sure, whatever you say.
240
00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:35,687
"Welcome, Amber"?
We're supposed to be celebrating
241
00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:37,656
the grand opening of
my animal sanctuary.
242
00:11:37,658 --> 00:11:39,291
Change of plans, fugly.
243
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:40,859
Now scram; you're
blocking my view of Amber.
244
00:11:40,861 --> 00:11:42,661
This is my night!
245
00:11:42,663 --> 00:11:43,962
This is not about
some racist pill-popper
246
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:47,032
- with nice tits.
- Aw, thanks, Ethel.
247
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:49,534
And thanks for coming
to my welcome party.
248
00:11:49,536 --> 00:11:53,004
- You look so cute.
- Amber, you are so sweet
249
00:11:53,006 --> 00:11:56,041
for lying to Ethel like that.
Give me a hug.
250
00:11:56,043 --> 00:11:57,809
Now one from behind.
251
00:11:57,811 --> 00:11:59,500
Enough of this bullshit, Woody.
252
00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:02,514
We both know that she's not fit
to do any job at Brickleberry.
253
00:12:02,516 --> 00:12:05,684
Sure she is.
What job would you like, Amber?
254
00:12:05,686 --> 00:12:08,512
- I like the baby "aminals."
- Good idea.
255
00:12:08,615 --> 00:12:11,923
From now on, this is the
Amber Orphan "aminal" sanctuary,
256
00:12:11,925 --> 00:12:15,594
- and you're in charge.
- Woody, you can't do that.
257
00:12:15,596 --> 00:12:17,696
Already done.
Now cut out, Nanny McPhee.
258
00:12:17,698 --> 00:12:19,765
You're bringing down the party.
259
00:12:19,767 --> 00:12:21,233
Can I get something strong?
260
00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:22,634
Beat it, sea world.
261
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:28,240
Oh, Connie, are you putting up
more cameras in my cabin?
262
00:12:28,242 --> 00:12:31,576
No, I'm taking them down.
I'm putting them up in Amber's cabin.
263
00:12:31,578 --> 00:12:34,613
Sorry, Ethel.
It's not you; it's me.
264
00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:38,049
- I like hot chicks.
- Hello, low point.
265
00:12:38,051 --> 00:12:39,885
What am I gonna do, Malloy?
266
00:12:39,887 --> 00:12:41,920
Because she's so hot,
I've lost all my animals.
267
00:12:41,922 --> 00:12:43,497
Including Connie.
268
00:12:43,511 --> 00:12:45,690
She'll kill them all
if I don't do something drastic.
269
00:12:45,692 --> 00:12:46,725
Like what?
270
00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:50,595
If it's looks they want,
it's looks they'll get.
271
00:12:52,131 --> 00:12:54,966
Hmm, plastic surgery.
But why, Ethel?
272
00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:57,636
You're so...
slightly above average.
273
00:12:57,638 --> 00:12:58,870
I need to be a ten.
274
00:12:58,872 --> 00:13:01,506
Give me the "I hate myself" special.
275
00:13:07,748 --> 00:13:11,149
- Hello, boys.
- Holy crap.
276
00:13:11,151 --> 00:13:13,485
Did you get stung by a jellyfish?
277
00:13:13,487 --> 00:13:16,988
Oops, I guess I'll have
to pick up these pencils.
278
00:13:16,990 --> 00:13:18,890
- No, no!
- No.
279
00:13:18,892 --> 00:13:22,928
How's about you put me back
in charge of my orphan animals?
280
00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,496
How about I put you in charge
281
00:13:24,498 --> 00:13:26,298
of getting your walleyed
nipples away from me?
282
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:29,134
What?
I'm hot; I'm a ten!
283
00:13:29,136 --> 00:13:31,102
I guess that makes Connie a 13.
284
00:13:31,104 --> 00:13:34,139
Look, Scare-a Reid.
As long as Amber's around,
285
00:13:34,141 --> 00:13:36,441
she's in charge of the "aminals"!
286
00:13:36,443 --> 00:13:39,644
Aw, look how happy
he is since I took over.
287
00:13:39,646 --> 00:13:44,182
I got to buy some more pills.
The red kitty dogs love them.
288
00:13:44,184 --> 00:13:46,685
Fly away, god's creature.
289
00:13:46,687 --> 00:13:50,622
Yay!
Now there's two kitty dogs.
290
00:13:53,126 --> 00:13:56,661
So far, this has been pretty easy.
Gotta say, Malloy,
291
00:13:56,663 --> 00:13:59,097
I think my mom put out
for absolutely no reason.
292
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,966
I could have done all of this myself.
293
00:14:00,968 --> 00:14:04,002
Williams!
You're a dead man, you [bleep] dick!
294
00:14:04,004 --> 00:14:07,005
Jimmy Wisniewski,
the bully from my childhood?
295
00:14:07,007 --> 00:14:09,641
You haven't picked on
me since the 7th grade.
296
00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:11,610
That's right, Williams,
and the only reason
297
00:14:11,612 --> 00:14:12,944
I stopped picking on you is because...
298
00:14:12,946 --> 00:14:15,714
My mom?
But we were 12!
299
00:14:15,716 --> 00:14:18,884
She said I screw like a
13-year-old, [bleep] dick!
300
00:14:18,886 --> 00:14:22,854
Wait, she's been sleeping
with you for the last 20 years?
301
00:14:22,856 --> 00:14:26,491
Every Wednesday at 2:30 p.m.,
but she just cut me off,
302
00:14:26,493 --> 00:14:27,893
which means you got a beat-down coming.
303
00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:30,695
Meet me at the flagpole
at sundown, dingus!
304
00:14:30,697 --> 00:14:32,898
Are you sure we can't
work something else out?
305
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:37,469
You know, I have my
mom's tiny, soft hands.
306
00:14:37,471 --> 00:14:38,703
Good, they'll be easier to break,
307
00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,338
you [bleep] dick!
308
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,307
Damn, I'm loving it here,
309
00:14:42,309 --> 00:14:44,709
and I've never felt less
crazy than I do right now,
310
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:46,211
chillin' with my new friends,
311
00:14:46,213 --> 00:14:49,981
spaghetti owl, turtle-ini,
and beaver-oni.
312
00:14:49,983 --> 00:14:52,484
I'm so happy to have all you
talking italian-food animals
313
00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:53,852
to keep me from going nuts up here.
314
00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:57,055
- Hey, want to blaze-a one?
- Hell, yeah!
315
00:14:57,057 --> 00:15:00,933
Spark that shit up,
fettuccini al-frogo.
316
00:15:01,194 --> 00:15:02,861
Hi, I'm looking to hire a hit man
317
00:15:02,863 --> 00:15:05,163
to kill a female park
ranger named Amber.
318
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,699
Why would I want to kill Amber?
She's hot as balls.
319
00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:09,200
Woody? Is that you?
320
00:15:09,202 --> 00:15:11,870
Do you have a side
business as a hit man?
321
00:15:11,872 --> 00:15:13,238
Hit man? No.
322
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:17,199
This isn't Woody Johnson.
It's Judy Wonson.
323
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:17,842
I'm... a woman.
324
00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:22,013
Oh, I better go make a tuna casserole
and douche the ol' clam.
325
00:15:22,015 --> 00:15:23,522
I'm a woman.
326
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,070
Oh, screw it. I'll do it myself.
327
00:15:31,474 --> 00:15:34,799
Oh! Now I get it.
328
00:15:36,945 --> 00:15:40,148
- Ethel, what are you doing here?
- Something I've
329
00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:43,351
wanted to do from
the minute you got here.
330
00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:46,420
God damn, you are hot.
331
00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:52,293
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
332
00:15:52,295 --> 00:15:54,428
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
333
00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:56,277
Oh, my god.
334
00:15:56,382 --> 00:15:59,066
Uhhh... Oh!
335
00:16:04,527 --> 00:16:06,127
Jesus Christ.
336
00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:09,864
I can't believe I fell for her too.
But that ass is so...
337
00:16:09,866 --> 00:16:12,466
No, no, no.
338
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:15,736
Amber, are you crying?
339
00:16:15,738 --> 00:16:17,672
I thought you were the only one here
340
00:16:17,674 --> 00:16:20,575
that didn't look at me
like a piece of meat.
341
00:16:20,577 --> 00:16:23,177
I'm sick of getting by on my looks.
342
00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:26,480
And because I never had
to work for anything,
343
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:30,875
- I suck at everything!
- You could be a great ranger,
344
00:16:31,027 --> 00:16:34,225
- and I can help you!
- Really?
345
00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:36,507
It's not about looks.
346
00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:39,310
I know for a fact that you
have greatness inside of you.
347
00:16:39,312 --> 00:16:42,680
- You think so?
- Smell for yourself.
348
00:16:44,149 --> 00:16:46,784
I don't know, Malloy.
Are you sure your plan will work?
349
00:16:46,786 --> 00:16:50,321
Trust me.
It's the key to street fighting.
350
00:16:50,323 --> 00:16:54,759
Don't worry, Wisniewski.
I'll try not to kill you.
351
00:16:54,761 --> 00:16:56,327
Ha-doo-ken!
352
00:16:57,529 --> 00:16:59,764
Ha-doo-ken!
Ha-doo-ken!
353
00:16:59,766 --> 00:17:01,132
Something's wrong, Malloy.
354
00:17:01,134 --> 00:17:04,335
- The fireballs aren't coming out.
- Keep trying.
355
00:17:04,337 --> 00:17:06,471
Ha-doo-ken!
Ha-doo-ken!
356
00:17:06,473 --> 00:17:09,640
Uh, sonic boom!
Sonic boom!
357
00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:12,176
Uh, yoga-flame.
358
00:17:15,615 --> 00:17:17,548
Somebody help me!
359
00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:19,150
No, no.
360
00:17:19,152 --> 00:17:22,387
It's time to take control
of my life!
361
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,389
Steve, eat this power pellet.
362
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,523
Okay!
363
00:17:29,529 --> 00:17:32,196
You know, I just realized
I forgot to pack any food.
364
00:17:32,198 --> 00:17:34,799
Well, Denzel, you know what they say.
365
00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:37,135
Whenever you feel hungry
366
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:39,337
or your tummy starts to growl...
367
00:17:39,339 --> 00:17:42,740
♪ it helps to have
some tasty friends ♪
368
00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:46,310
Like me, spaghetti owl!
369
00:17:46,312 --> 00:17:48,312
♪ Eat us, eat us ♪
370
00:17:48,314 --> 00:17:50,648
♪ we're the tastiest friends around ♪
371
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,817
♪ eat us, eat us ♪
372
00:17:52,819 --> 00:17:54,919
♪ no need to go into town ♪
373
00:17:54,921 --> 00:17:56,554
♪ because when you've
got friends who... ♪
374
00:17:56,556 --> 00:17:59,057
Jesus Christ!
What the hell are you doing?
375
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,980
Ah!
My eye! I'm blind!
376
00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:05,250
What have you done?
You crazy bastard!
377
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:08,319
What? You were singing
a song called "eat us."
378
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,821
It was just a song.
379
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:12,557
We thought you were our friend,
not a sick cannibal.
380
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,593
But I was hungry,
and y'all are made out of pasta!
381
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:19,197
- What's wrong with you?
- My eye!
382
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,567
Let's teach him a lesson.
We'll eat him.
383
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,486
Get back, all of you! I'll torch every
384
00:18:24,487 --> 00:18:26,404
single one of you
delicious mother[bleep]s.
385
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:30,375
- Oh, man!
- Whoa!
386
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:33,244
Oh, shiiiii...
387
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,246
Could you tell me
when he hits the ground?
388
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,181
I no longer have depth perception.
389
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,385
The coyote says...
390
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:44,088
- A-roo!
- That's right.
391
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,257
You're on your way to
being a great ranger.
392
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,860
- Yay!
- I think we're ready
393
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,595
for the "plant or animal" coloring book.
394
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,264
Be right back.
Oh, in the meantime,
395
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:57,235
study these forest flash cards.
396
00:18:57,237 --> 00:19:00,104
Oh, my god.
That's a...
397
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:07,111
Fiery!
And it's right where the sanctuary is!
398
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:11,991
This is it, Amber.
It's time to be a great ranger.
399
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:13,785
Amber, where'd you go?
400
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:16,254
I was thinking we could
do arts and crafts next.
401
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,222
We can work on our scissoring.
402
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,858
Did someone say, "scissoring?"
403
00:19:25,762 --> 00:19:29,263
You know, Malloy, it feels good
to finally take control of my life.
404
00:19:29,265 --> 00:19:30,531
What are you talking about?
405
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:33,000
Your mom's been banging
Wisniewski for a half an hour.
406
00:19:33,002 --> 00:19:35,102
Suck that, you [bleep] dick.
407
00:19:35,104 --> 00:19:38,506
Yeah, but I called her.
It was my decision.
408
00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:40,207
That's taking control.
409
00:19:40,209 --> 00:19:41,942
Next week, regular time?
410
00:19:44,913 --> 00:19:47,081
Mom, I now realize that you were only
411
00:19:47,082 --> 00:19:49,250
banging everyone because you love me.
412
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:51,552
Thanks for [bleep]-ing my life up...
413
00:19:51,554 --> 00:19:54,522
all the way to the top!
414
00:19:54,524 --> 00:19:56,891
Top of the world, Steve.
415
00:19:56,893 --> 00:19:59,260
You're a fat park ranger,
and your mom's a dirty whore.
416
00:20:01,096 --> 00:20:03,864
Amber? Amber!
Has anyone seen Amber?
417
00:20:03,866 --> 00:20:07,101
Ethel, I...
I think we lost her.
418
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,969
I did it!
419
00:20:08,971 --> 00:20:12,640
- I saved them!
- Whoa.
420
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:16,977
Did I get burned a little?
I can't really feel anything.
421
00:20:16,979 --> 00:20:20,948
It's not... bad.
Here.
422
00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:22,249
Ooh, much better.
423
00:20:22,251 --> 00:20:25,986
You were right, Ethel.
I can be a great ranger.
424
00:20:25,988 --> 00:20:30,991
So, um... thank you for
your bravery, and, um...
425
00:20:30,993 --> 00:20:32,059
Amber, you're fired.
426
00:20:32,061 --> 00:20:35,262
Oh! Because I have
a couple of burns?
427
00:20:35,264 --> 00:20:37,431
No, because I can
see through your face.
428
00:20:37,433 --> 00:20:41,635
Ethel, tell them what you told me,
that it's not about looks.
429
00:20:41,637 --> 00:20:44,104
It's about what's on the inside.
430
00:20:44,106 --> 00:20:45,940
You know what, Woody?
Amber's right.
431
00:20:45,942 --> 00:20:49,143
Looks or no looks, she
does belong at Brickleberry.
432
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:51,145
And I know the perfect place for her.
433
00:20:51,147 --> 00:20:55,649
♪ Eat us, eat us ♪
♪ we're the tastiest friends around ♪
434
00:20:55,651 --> 00:20:59,987
♪ eat us, eat us ♪
♪ no need to go into town ♪
435
00:21:02,169 --> 00:21:04,903
sync & correction by f1nc0
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