All language subtitles for 1941.1979.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AG].en

Hollywood!

Hollywood.

Better get your mind off that
dame and back on the job

or we'll never get
out of here.

This war's been going on
for the last 10 years.

You had your Japs
in Manchuria in 1931,

the Ities in Ethiopia in 1935,

and the Krauts have
been blitzkrieging

your favorite European tourist
attractions for the last three years.

Now, last year in Africa,

it took General O’Connor
and his British tanks

two months to grab Libya, and it
took Rommel 12 days to get it back.

That's the kind of tough customer
I'm gonna be dealing with.

What's your problem, kid?
You got ants in your pants?

No, I was just kind of
practicing some dance steps.

Dance steps?
Mmm-hmm.

Do you got something
to be dancing about, bub?

I don’t know. Maybe I do.
Maybe you do?

Yeah.

Well, there's a war on, pal.

And I want to know
why you’re not in uniform.

I want to know what you’re
doing dancing around tables.

I want to know why
you’re not in the army.

'Cause I just don’t
take orders from anybody.

Oh, a tough guy, huh?

Are you okay?

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do that.
I don’t know...

I'm really sorry.
I'm terribly sorry for...

You got egg on my uniform.

I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

You got egg on my...
I hate eggs.

Eggs are good for ya...

I can't stand eggs.
I hate eggs.

Look out, Wally!

Watch it! He's got a leg.

That ain't the way
you do it, buster.

Can it, Sitorski!
Save it for the Japs.

For crying out loud, Sarge.
Look at this bozo!

Anybody who wears a shirt
like that is asking for it.

He's an American, Sitorski. If
there's one thing we don’t want,

it's seeing
Americans fighting Americans.

I won’t stand for that.
Not here, not anywhere.

All right, you foul-ups, we've
had our chow. Move out.

You okay, kid?

You’re not gonna tip him,
are you, Sarge?

That's okay.
I don’t need your tip.

I think you do. Get rid of that shirt.
It's in bad taste.

Come on. Clean them floors
up like I told ya...

Floors haven't been washed in 10 years.
It'll take me all night.

I don’t give a damn
if it takes 20 years.

Ga ahead and clean
up like I told ya...

He can't work tonight.
Tonight’s his big night.

Tonight’s the night of
the jitterbug contest.

Jitterbug?
Hell, that reminds me.

Kill them cockroaches back
there in that flour sack.

Pap, he can't work.
He's gotta dance.

Oh, no.

Fill her up. Ethyl.

Where?

It was just
a case of war nerves.

Two squadrons of
Japanese Zeros...

The Japs tried to bomb
San Francisca last night.

Two squadrons of Jap Zeros. I've
been tracking them ever since.

I last them
somewhere over Fresno.

I heard on the radio that that's
not true about San Francisco.

It was just
a case of war nerves.

War nerves?
Yeah.

Who said "war nerves"?

I heard it on
that radio there.

- Radio’s wrong.
- Oh, my God!

Oh, shit.

Stop that plane!

Stop, God damn it! Stop!

Madness. It's the only
ward to describe it.

This isn't the state of California.
This is a state of insanity.

General Stilwell,
Colonel Grant suggests

dispatching guard units
to all the city reservoirs.

Intelligence suspects that
fifth columnists are going to

"pour poison into
the water supply."

The G-2 should pour knockout
drops into the water supply.

Maybe the people of
this city would calm down

and leave the war to the army.

Here he comes.

You have a telegram
from Colonel Maddox, sir.

Madman Maddox?
What does he want?

Troops, sir.
Troops?

He runs a practice
bombing range in Barstaw.

That's in
the middle of the desert.

What's he want troops for?
Give me that.

"Request emergency troops.
Invasion imminent.

"Suspect hidden Jap airfield
in Pomona alfalfa fields."

Well, I blame myself.
I put that lunatic out there.

Jesus H. Christ, DuBois. Is that
the General's new secretary?

Oh, yes, sir. She came in
from G-2 this morning.

Not bad, huh?
Not bad?

She's a goddess, DuBois,
a goddamn goddess.

That is Danna Strattan.
I knew her back in Washington.

She has got this
thing for planes.

One of those real
high-flying types, huh?

I've never seen
anything like it.

She's got planes on the brain.

Well, his brother had all those
political connections in Georgia.

So what could I do?
Tell him to hold his position.

I'll just send somebody up there later.
Where's Birkhead?

He's supposed
to have my lunch.

B-17.

Ooh!

No man has ever gotten to first
base with her on the ground,

but get her into a plane, she'll bat
your balls right out of the park.

You can fly, sir?

Who said
anything about flying?

I just gotta get her into that plane.
I'll fake the rest.

Hello, Danna. Danna Strattan,
after all this time.

How long has it been?

Not long enough.

You’re not still sore,
are you, Danna?

Yes. In a number of places.

Same old Danna.
Listen, I got a great idea.

Why don’t we get together
for dinner tonight?

We got a lat to talk about.

What could you and I
possibly have to talk about?

Airplanes.

I seem to recall
that you always had

a very keen
interest in aircraft.

Now, take this B-17,
for example.

A woman like you is bound to
appreciate a plane like the 17.

After all, it's big.
It's the biggest one here.

You know what else?
It's got a lat of range.

You know what I mean by
range, don’t you? Oh, sure.

I mean, it can stay up for a long time.
A very long time.

And it's built firm and solid.

'Cause it has to be, because of
its tremendous forward thrust.

And when this baby
delivers its payload,

devastating.

Oh, Captain. Let's get
something straight. Please do.

I don’t like you.
I don’t like the way you act,

and I especially don’t like your
immature sexual innuendos.

Danna, I was just kidding.

The B-17 happens to be the mast
valuable strategic air bomber

in the United
States Army Air Carps.

When I went to flight school, we
were taught to secure these things.

I didn't know you
went to flight school.

Well, actually, I only logged a couple
hours in a little Beechcraft trainer

before I got kicked out... Upstairs
to became the General's aide.

But can you fly the B-17?
B-17?

Can you fly the B-25?

Well, a plane's a plane.

Can you fly the 24 Liberator?
Got a propeller and four wings.

Can you fly the 38 Lightning?

Hey, you can fly one,
you can fly them all.

Sure, I could fly the 17.

Oh, I'm sorry, Captain.

I didn't realize you had a serious
interest in strategic bombers.

Danna, my interest
is very strategic.

How would you like me
to Show you the cockpit?

Last.

Uh-ah. Uh-ah.

Oh!

Ah.

Starved.

Can opener!

Clear the props.
Boost pump on.

Energize. Engage ignition!

Are we cleared for take-off?

271 cleared for
take-off on runway 18.

Winds from the south-west.

You want the stick?

Yes, yes, yes. Give it to me.

Right. Now.

We are railing.

We're railing down that runway
faster and faster.

I don’t feel any thrust.

Oh, don’t worry. Don’t worry.

You will. You will.
All right, all right.

We're max power. We're past
the paint of rejection.

All right. Get your nose up!
Pull back on that stick!

Very good.

Landing gear up.

And now we're leveling off
at 20,000 feet, 20,000 feet.

Turn the wheel to the right.

Good. We're at 20,000 feet.

What's that?

Nothing. Nothing.
It was a little turbulence.

We hit an air packet.
Nothing to worry about.

Okay.

Objectives in sight.

We peer down the bomb sight.

We're on target.

We open the bomb bay doors.

We are getting
closer and closer.

We are approaching target.

We are almost there.

Here we go, Danna.
Here we go. Bombs away.

Who’s playing in the cockpit,
God damn it?

Mission scrubbed.

Oh, Danna.

Sorry to have to
bail out, Loomis,

but it just won’t
work on the ground.

I tried it in
the simulator once,

and it was no
good there, either.

We've got to be airborne.
But, Danna, listen.

We'll try another...
A different flight plan.

We are dive-bombing Tokyo.

I'd like to say one
final word about bombs.

The eventuality of an air raid
on this city is highly unlikely.

Oh, Danna.
You can't do this to me.

You don’t know
what I've been through today.

Loomis, my father was a drill
sergeant in the Marine Carps,

and he taught me
how to defend myself.

Now, leave me alone.

Danna, please...

As long as I am here,
I can assure you,

there will be no
bombs dropped here.

We think we've located
Captain Birkhead, sir.

Okay, okay.

Bye. See you later.

Bye-bye.

Maxine, I don’t know
why I ever listen to ya...

I can't do this to Wally.

You know he's been waiting
a long time for this.

You know he's even
learning how to dance?

Would you forget about Wally?

Just think of all those soldiers and
sailors we'll be dancing with tonight.

I can't forget about Wally!

Oh!

What are you gonna do?

Turn your back on all those
brave men in uniform

so you can dance
with some criminal?

Wally is not a criminal. He's just...
He's just original. Oh!

Oh, original. He stole your father's car.
That's really original.

- Wally!
- Betty?

What are you doing here?

- Oh, my God.
- Betty?

If my father catches
you here, he'll kill ya...

You can forget
about the dance tonight.

They won’t let you near the
place dressed like that.

It's a USO club now,
for servicemen only.

And we're hostesses.

What do you mean, "hostesses"?

Is that like
a waitress or something?

It means we can only
dance with servicemen.

Real men.

Oh, my God.
Here comes my father.

And he's got a gun!

Quick, Wally.
Ga out the garage door.

I'll stall him.
I'll stall him.

Come on! Oh! Oh, no!
Oh, no! Come on!

Hi, Dad!
Hi, girls. Hi, how are you?

Dad, Dad, I'd like you
to meet my friend. Hi!

It won’t open. It won’t open!

Dad, Dad, I joined the USO.

Yes, I know. You told me, dear.
We all got to do what we can.

Aha!

Shit. I didn't hear any gunshots.
He must have got away.

What's that rug...
That's my hat!

Gus, Gus,
wait till they step on it.

That's my brand new hat!

Surrender! Surrender!

Macey Douglas,
what is the meaning of this?

What is this?

Jap trap. We're gonna caver them
aver with sticks and stuff.

And Dad says when the Japs
sneak up, they'll fall in.

Ward Douglas.

Wow! Look what we're getting.

I will not have
guns in this house...

Uh, excuse us, ma'am.
Heads up!

Hello?

Sorry, ma'am. Our gun kind
of got away on us there.

All right, move it back!
Come on!

Shit! Sorry.

Come on, move it out.
Back it up, you foul-ups.

Let's go, Reese.
Move it out, easy now.

Come on, Foley.
Get in here and push.

Gee whiz!

Corporal Sitorski, get on that wheel.
Now, come on.

Put some muscle in it.

All right,
Sitorski, lack it up.

Ow!

Watch yourself.

Attention, Foley, Sitorski,
Reese, let's go.

Fall in, on the double.
Let's go.

Hustle,
hustle, hustle, hustle.

Oh, my God! My roses!

Ten-hut! At ease.

Sir, Sergeant Frank Tree, United
States Army, 10th Armored Division.

Mr. Ward Herbert Douglas,
1313 Pelican Way?

Yes.
Uh-huh.

The Coast Artillery Command
has determined your property

to be
strategically advantageous

for the installation of an enemy
aircraft defense battery.

What?

We want to put this
40-millimeter anti-aircraft gun

in your yard, sir.

Joan, they want to put
this gun in our yard.

No. Absolutely not.

I refuse to let you bring the
war into my own front yard. No.

Hello, hello, hello.

Sitorski,
you quit your goldbricking.

Go on in that garage
and find a cement black

- and stabilize that ordnance.
- Yes, sir.

On the double, now. Move it.
Yes, sir.

You heard your boss.
Put me down.

Anything you say, doll.

Come on, get the lead out.
Yes, sir!

Move, move, move!

Sergeant, there's no way this gun
can go off by itself, is there?

Well, sir, actually I'm a motor
pool maintenance sergeant.

I don’t know too much
about the gunnery stuff.

However, I can tell
you this materiel

is a 40-millimeter
automatic gun,

effective against
law-flying aerial targets.

The gun will displace
a 1.96-pound high-explosive

or armor-piercing projectile
at 2,960 feet per second...

Don’t they teach you
manners in the army?

You’re right. I'm sorry.

I'm Corporal Chuck Sitorski,
United States Army.

But my good friends
call me Stretch.

You shouldn’t touch
the ordnance at all.

But, more specifically, you should
never pull this hand-operating lever

to the rear.
Never.

Do not push the clip of ammunition
down into the feed rollers here.

You would never put
the ammunition in...

No, sir. Never.

You never restore this lever
to firing position.

Do not make sure that this
caver is completely closed.

Never depress operator’s
foot triggers here, here,

and at the rear here.
Never.

If an ordinary
Joe like me went

to one of those
fancy USO dances,

you know, and he saw
an awful pretty girl like you,

and, I don’t know, and he
wanted to ask her to dance,

do you think
maybe she'd say...

Yes?
Yeah.

Betty, don’t listen
to that jerk.

You!

You!

You!
You.

You have a really serious
wardrobe problem, kid.

It's isn't
fair. No! No!

Put me down! No! No!
No, no, no, no, no!

It doesn’t matter.

I'm gonna be there at 8:00 in
front of the Crystal Ballroom.

I'll meet you there.

No, you won’t.

Yes, I will.

No, you won’t!

Yes, I will!

No, you won’t.

Hey, does that gun work?

You ain't gonna
shoot nobody, are you?

You aught to get
some oil on that thing.

You shouldn’t leave it sitting
out here in the wind.

Down there?
What is it? A Winchester?

That's what I got,
a Winchester.

Doggone lever action,
shoots like a house on fire.

Doggone, you aught to try to pick one up...
Hey, don’t go stepping on me.

Ought to try to pick one up
while you’re aver here.

Damn good gun.

You sneaky little bastards ain't
getting doodly-shit out of me,

except maybe my name, rank
and social security number.

Wood, Hallie P. Lumberjack.

Social security,

1-0-6-4-3-2-1-8-5.

Where Hollywood?

Right here.

What?

You’re looking at him.

Who?

Hallie Wood.

Where?

I'm right here.

Shoot. Can't you
understand plain English?

Hollywood?

Where?
Here.

Look. Where Hollywood?

North? South?

Oh.

You want me to tell
you where Hollywood is.

Well, shoot. That's easy.
Hollywood is right...

Oh, no, you don’t.

You thought you was gonna
get me to Show you

where Hollywood was,
didn't you?

Tried to sneak up on me
like you did Pearl Harbor.

Bet you’re gonna bomb
John Wayne's house, ain't you?

John Wayne?

I knew it.

I knew it. I ain't gonna
tell you one stinking thing.

Why, you can torture me.
Do anything that you want to.

Jesus palomino.

A Nazi! I knew it.

You’re all in cahoots.

Well, let me tell you
something, Mr. Heinie Kraut,

I fought your kind
in the Great War,

and we kicked the living
shit out of ya...

Hey! What did you go
tearing up my radio for?

What's the big idea?

All right. Ga ahead and
search me if you want to.

One genuine
American jackrabbit foot.

One authentic early
American hari-kari knife.

Pass it around, bays. Maybe
somebody’s got a use for it.

One 10-cent box of delicious,
nutritious, caramel-coated pepperjacks.

Doggone it,
this is my stuff.

Compass!

Banzai, my balls...

Let's see you try and find Hollywood
now, you scrawny little...

Hey, boy, watch that knife.

Prune juice.

Oh, no, you don’t!

I lave Ferris wheels.

Relax, Claude. Everything's
gonna be all right.

Here's what you gotta do.

If you hear or see any airplanes,
you pick up the phone,

you yell, "Army flash!"

You got a direct line

to the Interceptor Command.
Hey!

Then you tell them exactly
what you saw and where. Here.

You know my
problem with heights.

I don’t want to be
stuck up there with him.

Jesus Christ, Angela.
They gave him a gun.

That's all right. He got a license.
He's an expert shot.

Now, don’t worry about
nothing. Try to adjust.

to know him is to lave him.
Now, don’t worry about nothing.

I think you’ll
bath be compatible.

If not,
I'll get you a replacement.

Now just sit down, Claude.

Remember, you’re bath very
vital to civil defense.

Safety bar?
We don’t need no safety bar.

What happens if
we have to jump?

You keep the safety
bar lacked at all times.

And remember, don’t act up,
Herbie, like you did last summer.

No standing up and no racking.

You mean this thing racks?

Whoa! Whoa!

Don’t worry, pal.
You’re perfectly safe.

Like a babe
in his mother’s arms.

Why, you got
nothing to worry about.

You know, I once swung around
in one of these things

180 degrees,
and I didn't get hurt.

No, sir, buddy boy.
There's no way

you can get killed in
one of these things,

unless you really try.

Like this one guy I knew.
He committed suicide.

He just stood right up and did
a swan dive straight down.

Sit down, please. Just...
Just stay seated, please.

- Don’t look down, Claude.
- You’ll be all right.

Up, up, up. I'll be back to pick
you up after your shift. Ciao.

Hey, this grapefruit's rotten.

I'm gonna throw it away. Is it all
right with you if I throw it away?

All right,
I'm gonna throw it away.

Here it goes. It's going. It's going.
It's going. It's going.

Going. It's going. It's going.

Too bad I forgot to time it.

If I'd timed it, I would have known
how long it took to hit the ground.

Because you know that objects fall
at exactly 32 feet per second.

Would you just
shut up about heights?

I don’t want to hear
another ward about heights.

Boy, I sure hope
the wind starts...

Just shut up!

Now, don’t say another ward.

Scared of heights,
huh? Me, too.

You ain't
getting shit out of me.

I've been
constipated all week,

and there ain't a damn thing
you can do about it.

Now, wait a minute, General.
I'm doing the best I can.

You gotta tell these guys that I gotta
have a little bit more privacy.

Shoot, how in the hell do you expect
a guy to take a bowel movement

with a bunch of buffalo rifles
a-painting at him?

Shoot, I have enough problems just
pissing in a public restroom.

All right, you!

Get out of my way!

God bless America!

Let go of my foot, you vile
little son of a bitch, you!

Which way is the damn beach?
Oh, shit.

Detail, assume defense
positions on the double!

March!

Clear all
civilians out of here.

No civilians tonight.
Get them back there.

Ah, Dumbo.

Sure be good to get my mind
off things for a while.

Come on,
I don’t want to miss Dumbo.

General Stilwell, sir, an
urgent message from Barstaw.

From Colonel Maddox, son?

Colonel, they're
worried about an invasion.

Christ, I thought I told
Maddox to hold his position.

Birkhead, see what he wants.
Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, sir. My orders are
to give these directly to ya...

"Request relief column.
Invasion imminent.

"Murderers parachuting
in from the skies.

"Getting that old
sinking feeling..."

Excuse me, General, but
since it's a bombing range,

don’t you think Colonel Maddox
would have some planes there, sir?

Some airplanes.

Yeah, well, he might have
a few planes there. So what?

Well, I seem to recall a huge
stockpile of bombs, sir.

They're starting. I'm missing the movie.
I'm missing the movie.

Considering Maddox’s
state of mind, sir,

there's no telling
what he might do.

I thought it might be wise if I
would take a jaunt out there

and see if I can't appease the girl...
The Colonel, sir.

With your permission,
of course.

All right, Loomis.
Take my car,

go out there and
keep that maniac at bay.

And don’t let him get his
hands on an airplane.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir, but I'm gonna
take a rain check on the movie.

I've got
a splitting headache and I...

I'm sorry about your headache.
Can I call a car for you?

Oh, no, sir, that
won’t be necessary.

I think I can persuade Captain
Birkhead to give me...

Can I have my ticket?

Loomis, use your head.
Everybody knows

you flunked out
of flight school.

Trust me,
it'll never get that for.

Thank ya...

Betty, I have to talk to ya...

Wally... Would you
excuse us, please, sir?

Betty, I wanna
apologize for this afternoon.

Wally, we have nothing
to talk about right now.

Sir, I'm sorry,
we're late for the dance.

Betty, I can explain.
Don’t go in there with him.

I know him.
I know what he's like.

Miss Douglas? Allow me.

Chuck, Wally's in
the middle of the street!

What?

Hey! Hey, you wanna dance?

No!

You wanna dance?
No!

Do you care for a drink, Betty?
I'm not thirsty.

- Gimme a couple Cakes.
- Couple Cakes, coming up.

I'm really not hungry.

Couple of doughnuts,
too, all right?

Hey, you devil,
how about a deviled egg?

Oh, no, I hate eggs.
My grandmother made them.

I can't stand eggs.
Excuse me, Miss Betty.

Would you care to dance?
Yes.

I'd lave to dance.
Would you excuse us, please?

Listen.
That is my part of entry.

Believe me, walk away.
Just walk away.

I'm walking away. I'm walking.

Your doughnut, Betty.

I'll get it.

Say, babes,
wanna cut a rug with me, huh?

Maybe have a little
pick-me-up. We could...

Maybe later.

Betty, I think it's getting a
little bit crowded around here.

Why don’t we go and dance?

That's the man for me.

What's your real name, Sal?

Raoul.
I knew it.

Lipschitz.

Betty!

Wally!

Betty!

Wally!

Hey, come on.

You’ll never drink in here again,
you drunken son of a bitch.

They don’t want see no drunks
bothering and grabbing them.

Just a little bit,
all right? I'm sorry.

No drinking.

I'm so sorry.

No!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
please have your attention?

Attention, please, everyone.

Listen up now, everyone.
All right.

Meyer, come on up here.

All right. The jitterbug
contest is about to begin.

That's right.

And now I'm gonna introduce
our judge for the contest,

Mr. Meyer Mishkin
of RKO Pictures.

RKO Pictures!

Now, Meyer is an agent
at RKO Pictures and he's...

Talent scout.

Oh, talent scout, all right.

Why don’t you tell them
about first prize, huh?

First prize is a seven-year
contract at RKO Pictures.

Seven years!
Did you hear that?

Betty, I called us a cab.

Let's get out of here so these
slabs can't bother us anymore.

You wanna dance with me? Look, I'm
in the USO. I'll dance with ya...

We're gonna send
all the world a message.

We're gonna jitterbug into
the hearts of the whole world.

Sailor, please.

Please dance with me. Come on.
Let's get out of here.

I don’t wanna go.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want
you to count down with me

on this momentous, tremendous,

absolutely pretty
important occasion.

All right.

We can't go yet. There's...

You wanna dance?

Sure, dally.

And...

Ten!

What the hell are you... Hey!

Nine!

You crazy son of a bitch.
What are you doing?

Please.

Seven!
Help me.

Come on, give me a break.

Give you what?

Give me a break, will you?

Time.

Four!

Please.

Three!

Two!
Wait for me, Stretch!

One!

And grab your
partner and take it away!

Stretch,
wait for me, Stretch!

Wally!

Wait a minute, Betty.
We gotta dance. Come on.

Run!

Look out.

Stretch!

Watch it.

Stretch!

Who’s that lady?

Get away.

Oh, Stretch.

Whoa!

Look at that!

Wally! Hey, Wally!

That's my best friend.
And he's dancing.

What's that guy's name?
What a dancer!

Watch it, Wally!

Well, well, well.

Just the son of
a bitch I'm looking for.

You son of a bitch!

Wait a second! Wait, guys!

Now, wait a second! Wait!

Are you okay?

Stop! Stop it!

Wally!

I lave you, Stretch!

So, the right
engine and then...

I don’t see any planes
out here, Loomis.

You don’t?

Do you know what's
gonna happen to you

if there aren't
any planes out here?

Do you have any idea?
Can you possibly imagine?

Well, Danna,
would you just relax?

Loomis. Loomis.

Danna, I'm gonna
have a look around.

I'll be right back.

Hello.

Hello?

Anybody home?

No! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!

Don’t shoot! Oh, don’t shoot.
Please, don’t shoot!

Identify yourself.

Captain Loomis Birkhead,
United States Army.

Birkhead? What kind
of stupid name is that?

Just stand right there.
Winowski.

Little tall for a Jap,
wouldn’t you say?

Yeah, but those Japs are
sneaky bastards, sir.

You never know.

You’re right.

Check him for stilts.

Stilts, sir?
Do it.

Ya.

God! Son of a bitch!

Ah, thank God, Captain.

Thank God, you got through.

My troops.
Where are my troops?

Stilwell promised me troops.

Yes, sir. You see... Well, we're
a little short-handed, sir.

Short-handed?

Stilwell's trying to hold LA.

Stilwell? LA?

Yes. Oh, my God, does he
realize how desperate

my situation is here?

They're parachuting murderers
into these hills,

and now I'm getting
reports of secret airstrips

hidden away in the alfalfa
fields of Pomona.

Colonel, you don’t...

You don’t have any bombers
here, do you, sir?

Bombers?

If I had bombers, son, I'd be bombing
the hell out of them right now!

No planes.

Boy, am I in trouble now.

Hell, son, the only
plane I got around here

is that old shit-on-a-shingle
trainer sitting right over there.

It's fine,
it's fine. Let's go.

Sir, I happen to have
a reconnaissance expert

from our intelligence office in
Washington with us in the car,

and with your
permission, sir,

we'd like to take that trainer and
try to spat that enemy airfield.

Why, son, that plane
doesn’t have any guns on it.

You’re talking suicide.

I have no other choice.

Ladies and gentlemen,
everywhere I look,

soldiers are fighting sailors,
sailors are fighting marines.

Directly in front of me,
I see a flying blonde floozy.

Everywhere I look, everywhere,
pure pandemonium.

Did you ever see
an elephant fly?

Well, I seen a horsefly.

I seen a dragonfly!

I seen a housefly.

Sir.
Yes, Sergeant?

Sir, they're
rioting in the streets.

Who’s rioting?

Soldiers.
Soldiers and sailors.

And zoot suits.
Zoot-suiters?

Yes, sir.

That sounds to me like
a matter for the police.

Police, shore patrol, MPs.

Let them handle the riots,
and I'll handle the Japanese.

That's all, Sergeant.

Yes, sir.

Parking brake released.
Flaps up. I'm set.

We're ready. Radio on.

Jesus Christ!
What?

This thing hasn't got a radio!

Colonel, this thing
hasn't got a radio!

What radio?

It hasn't got a radio!

I gotta let Interceptor
Command know I'm up there.

I don’t want to
get my ass shat off!

Hell, son, you can't call
Interceptor Command.

That plane
doesn’t have a radio!

I know it doesn’t
have a radio!

I know it doesn’t have a
radio, but I got a telephone.

Don’t worry,
I'll call them for ya...

You got a telephone. Okay.

Bomb the hell out of them, son!
That's it, straight away.

Whoa! Look out there. Take your
foot off the right brake, son.

Loomis, stop showing off.

Hey, get out of there!

Son!
You’re going the wrong way!

Quest-ray emergency oops-tray.
And we're eady-ray too all-ray.

Hey, don’t do that, son.

And salute.

Full throttle. Max power.
Past the paint of rejection.

I think you’re
gonna hit the tower.

No, we missed it.

This is SOP.

How do you read me?

Interceptor Command,
this is Colonel Maddox. Hello?

My God, we've been cut off!

Colonel Maddox.
Aircraft approaching, sir.

Hold your fire. Pass it on.

Hold your fire.
Pass it on.

Hold your fire.
Pass it on.

- Hold your fire.
- Hold your fire.

My leg, it...
Wake up. Come on.

Wake up. Wake up, wake up!

Ground crew!

What farm of lunatic is that?

What kind of lunatic runs this place?
Come on!

Ya.

Come on, wake up,
you moron. Wake up.

Not now, Winowski,
you stupid soda jerk.

Come on!

Hmm? Mmm.

He's on the level, sir.

Identify yourself.

Captain Wild Bill Kelsa,
United States Army Air Carps.

Where the hell am I?

Barstaw.
Where you coming from?

San Francisca.

Been tracking a Jap squadron
for a day and a half.

I last them
somewhere aver Fresno.

I'm from Olena, Illinois.

Tough shit.

You see any Japs around here?

Oh, hell, son,
they're all aver the place.

They got a secret air
base down in Pomona.

That's where
they're all coming from.

Pomona.

Which way is Pomona?

That way, toward LA.

And heave!

Get away! My leg!

My name's Wild Bill Kelsa,
and don’t you forget it.

That's the kind of
talk I like to hear, boy!

That's it.
Let me hear your guns.

My guns?

I wanna hear what they sound like.
Let me hear them.

Vaya con Dios, my friend!

to Hollywood and glory!

This thing handles pretty well,
even if it's not a B-17,

but does it have
much range, Loomis?

Huh?

I mean, do you think
it'll stay up for a long time?

Sure. Hell, we've used less than
a quarter of a tank already.

Look. We're already aver the
Riverside County reservoir.

Army flash, army flash. Past,
Riverside County reservoir.

Cade name Strawberry.
Three single-engine aircraft.

Three
single-engine aircraft heard

five miles
north-east of Strawberry,

proceeding west,
high altitude.

Strawberry's in Sector 14.

No clearance for
aircraft in 14.

I repeat, no clearance.
Request visual information.

Visual information
not available.

Hey, try to contact
aircraft by radio.

Tangerine confirms Strawberry
aircraft proceeding west.

Attention, all units!
Condition yellow.

I repeat, yellow alert.

Hey, what you need is
a little pick-me-up.

I'll give you a...

There they are, men!
Let's get them!

Oh, no! No!

Yeah!

What the hell do you
people think you're doing?

You’re acting like
a bunch of Tojo stooges.

What do you wanna do, put
Yamamoto in the White House?

The Axis is crawling like
a slime all aver Europe.

I can't believe it,
Americans fighting Americans.

We've got
the lousy Huns to fight.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,
that just about wraps up

another evening's entertainment
here at the Crystal Ballroom

in downtown Los Angeles.

I hope you enjoyed
tonight’s program.

I'd like to thank all the Gls

for helping make tonight’s evening
such a memorable occasion.

Maybe in the future we can
have some Negroes come in,

and we'll stage
a race riot right here.

Wally!

Well, this is Sal Stewart saying
I hope you had a good time.

We're gonna be
boogie-woogie-ing our way

right out across
the street soon.

So stay tuned to
this station...

Next week, we'll be back.
Hope you had a good time.

Oh! Oh.

Stretch! Oh, boy!

Hey, you!

Make no mistake about this,
you can count on this.

And I know this for a fact.

The Japs do not surrender
and they don’t take prisoners.

They have only one idea in mind.
You know what that is?

Do you know what that is, sailor?
No!

to kill, that's right.

to kill you and to
kill your families. Yes.

to kill your families, your mothers,
your loved ones, your pets,

and to keep on killing
until they conquer the world.

And when they do,
you won’t be able to speak...

Wally!
...your free mind.

You won’t be able to go and
worship God in your own way.

Pardon me.

You won’t be able to walk down the
main street of your home town

with your best gal
on your arm anymore.

Stretch! Stretch!

Well, instead of turkey
for your Christmas dinner,

how would you like to have
raw fish heads and rice?

No!

Do you think the Krauts
believe in Walt Disney?

Yeah!

Yeah? Well, was that Mickey Mouse I
saw blitzkrieging across France?

No!
Wally?

Pluto in Poland?
Oh, I'm sorry.

Or Donald Duck
at Pearl Harbor?

No!

This time we free
the world or we lase it.

This time we win
or we die trying.

We sure as hell
didn't start this war,

but, by God,
we're gonna finish it.

Danna, would you lay off?
I'm trying to steer!

What's wrong, Loomis?
You’re not airborne yet.

What are you talking about?

Look out the window,
of course we're airborne.

We are, but you’re not.

Past Cauliflower. Aircraft,
12 o’clock, proceeding west.

In Sector 12,
sir, they're heading for LA.

What about visual
information, sir?

to hell with visual
information, they're Japs.

Let's go to red.

Red alert for Los Angeles.

Red alert.

Japs.

Japs.

This is it. Let's Show those
lousy Huns what we got.

All right. Prepare to mount up.
Foley, let's go.

All right, you wise birds!

Now what?

You!

Hi, Stretch!

Invasion.

Japanese.

Joan!

Tell your mother...

Mam, Dad's got something
stuck in his throat!

What is it, dear?

Invasion!

Boys, come on. Get that other
spotlight out here. Let's go.

All right, you dog asses.
Fall in here. Ten-hut!

Big brass, Sarge.

General Stilwell.

What a mess.
What a goddamn mess!

Motor Sergeant Frank Tree...
Bressler!

...reporting for
combat duty, sir!

Get me Interceptor Command!

Is there a phone around here?
In the theater, sir.

Get on it.
Yes, sir.

Sergeant.
Yes, sir!

Secure this area.
Give me a one-black perimeter.

Yes, sir. What's
the plan of action, sir?

Hold the black.

You can hold
one black, can't you?

Is the target in
sight yet, Loomis?

Oh, it will be, just as soon as
I make it through these hills.

Do you hear that?

Yeah.

More thrust.

I see the son of a bitch.
I'm going in after him.

Give it to me, Loomis.
Oh, give it to me!

It's a Zero!

I see him, I see him.

Where?

Keep going, keep going. Come on!
Keep going. Keep going.

I'm gonna hit the sign!

Forget the sign.
Keep going. Perfect.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I've never felt
anything like that before.

You’re damn right.
They think we're Japs!

What are you guys shooting at?

I don’t know.
Whatever they're shooting at.

Okay, let's go!

God, am I in trouble now.

I'm in trouble now!

Danna!

Oh, God, I'll be good!
I'll be good!

Quit fooling around.

Danna, level it off!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Sarge, isn't it
standard procedure

during an air raid
to have a blackout?

Yeah, what are all
these lights doing on?

I don’t know.
Must be a foul-up somewhere.

I guess we're gonna have
to knack them out ourselves.

That's a great idea, Sarge.

Reese, advance me
60 feet, column left.

Take up a position.
I'm gonna douse these lights.

There's no place like home.

There's no place like home.

Hey, kid, you’re the greatest
trick-foot artist I ever seen,

and I seen them
all aver the world.

Here. Just sign right here.
Seven-year contract.

Where's Betty? Where's Betty?
Start you off at...

She went out there.

Wait! Hey, wait.

Hey, you. You!
You with the stripes!

Hey, do you want to be a pal and
come help me pick up my ammo?

Yeah, all right.

Thanks a lat, buddy.

Okay, forward ho. We're gonna
draw trajectory on Dumbo!

Look out!

- Tommies.
- Sarge?

Tommies, the tommies.

Detroit is the arsenal of democracy.
Sarge, Sarge!

He got knocked on the head. He
always did have a glass head.

Look, he's babbling like an idiot.
What are we gonna do?

You can't go out
on me now, Sarge.

Please, you been like
a father to me, Sarge.

I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.

We're gonna go home. We're gonna
paint the scratches on this tank.

We're gonna put
the Sarge to bed,

and we're gonna forget
this night ever happened.

I got him!

Knack out those lights, kid.

He wants me to
knack out the lights.

You see the mess
on the streets?

Well, I'm not gonna
take the rap for this.

Well, he's that tap-dancing
Yankee fry boy from this morning.

Yeah, I know,
but he's wearing the stripes.

What'll it be, Sarge?

Right.
Let's knack out these lights!

Take that, Tojo. Take that!

This is war.

Angela, hurry.
My husband is crazy.

He says he sees Japanese
coming from the ocean.

Eat lead, slant.

Has anyone in your command
seen these Zeros?

No, sir, but we're
shooting at them.

Now, listen. I want
you to think about this.

Bombs! I don’t hear any bombs.

If they're up there, if they've
come all the way from Asia,

don’t you think they'd bring
a few bombs along?

I don't know, sir, but...
But nothing!

I can't have an air
raid without bombs.

Come on, fly!

You can do it!

Danna, don’t worry about this.

I'm gonna set this baby down
if it's the last thing I do.

Sayonara, sucker!

Danna, are you okay? Danna?

Where are we?
Where's the door?

Where are we?
What is this stuff?

Oh, my God,
are we in trouble now.

Hey, what the hell
are you shooting at me for?

I'm an American.
Can't you tell the difference?

Holy shit, I better get my
ass out aver the ocean.

Hey, there's
a Kraut on board, too.

We got the whale
damn Axis here.

What are we gonna do?

Defend our homes, Angela.

How do you expect
to do that, Ward?

The army gave me a gun. I think
it's high time we used it.

Yeah!

Hello? Hello?

Hello!
Sciali doesn’t answer me.

Jesus Christ, it's a sub.
Look, you guys, a Jap sub.

Holy shit, Herb!
The dummy's right.

Japs.
It's a full-scale invasion.

Gimme that phone!

Japs!

Coordinates, 1-3-0-5...

I knew it,
I knew it, I knew it!

That's a Japanese
Nakajima Type 97,

or I'm a bigger
dummy than he is.

Oh, my God, I'm hit. I'm hit!

Look at him burn!

Oh, my God. It's a P-40 Tomahawk.
It's one of ours.

Mayday!

Mayday! Mayday!

Hiya, doll.

Oh, God. No!

That's my kind of girl.
It's the end of the line, kid.

No more games.

Oh, God!

Put me down!

Wally!

Wally!

Betty.

Let's get this heap turned around now!
Left! Now!

Wally!

Let's go!
Come on, let's move! Move!

You know, I can't
beat you in a fair fight.

Stupid, I don’t fight fair.

Neither do I.

Hiya, doll.

Follow that girl!

Bring that back!

Hold on.

Oh...

My.
God.

Whoa!

Okay, goddamn it!

Ah! Oh! Hmm!

I think he's gonna jump.

Geronimo! Aha!

Whoa!

Made it!

Huh? Oh.

It's coming down!

My plane.

I last my plane.

My... Sub! Jap sub!

Jap sub!

Hold on, mister. We'll get
you out of here in a second.

Listen, kid.
What?

You gotta get that sub.

What sub?
The Jap sub.

Where?

In the ocean, lame-o.

Off shore, near some
goddamn amusement park.

The Japs are at Pacific
Ocean Amusement Park?

Oh, my God, Wally, that's right
next door to my parents' house.

Kid.

You gotta sink that sub.

Come on, Sarge. Come on, now.
Sarge, come on, now.

That's it, Sarge. Come on. We got a
nice pad for that head of yours.

That's it, Sarge. Come on.
We'll go in the tank.

We'll have a drink, Sarge.
We'll talk.

Real Japs?

No, wooden Japs, cheetah.

What do you think?
Get me out of here.

Move it. Move it.

What the hell is that?

It appears to be
an airplane, sir.

We tried to hold
the black, sir.

The plane brake
through our perimeter.

Head down Hollywood
Boulevard to Highland.

Take Highland to Pica.
Take Pica to...

Your mama was
home when you left.

The cat was
home when you left.

Your dad was
home when you left.

The dog was
home when you left.

- Sound off. Sound off.
- One, two.

Wait, Sarge. Wait for me, Sarge.
I'm coming, sir.

What's that?

It appears to be
a large Negro, sir.

What's that?

A salesman.
A businessman.

Accountant.
A lawyer.

I'll grease your face with those
treads, you punk bastard.

That?
A corporal.

Stretch, I lave you!

Soldier, are you
the pilot of that plane?

Yes, sir.
Captain Wild Bill Kelsa,

United States
Army Air Carps, sir.

I'm proud to report
that I'm the first American

to shoot down a Jap plane over
the continental United States.

You shot down a Jap plane?

Yes, sir.

A Mitsubishi Zero, sir.

Got back some of that scrap
metal we sold them, sir.

Blew the living hell out of
him right into the Stone Age.

Sir, we just got
a report that a plane

went down in
the La Brea Tar Pits.

That's him. That's gotta be the one.
I told you I shot him down.

Is that a Jap plane, Sergeant?

They don’t know, sir.

What do you mean
they don’t know?

Of course it was a Jap plane.

You don’t think I'd shoot down
one of our own, do you?

I'm not so sure.

The plane's not
important, sir.

What's important is
the submarine. The sub.

Submarine?
Shot down a Jap sub, too.

No, sir. I could have, though.

I had him in my sights. I had that
bastard right where I wanted him,

but I caught it in the radiator.
He's still out there!

What about that plane?
There must be a pilot.

That is the craziest
son of a bitch I ever saw.

How many more like him
do you think are up there?

Aw, look. A baby wolf.

Where?

Gus, you can get into anything.
Open up this ammunition.

Yes, sir. Stevie, round
up the neighbors.

I'm gonna need
help getting this gun

aver to where I
can get a clear shat.

Macey, stay close.
Yes, sir.

That nice soldier told you
not to touch the ordnance.

Don’t you think you
should call the army?

The army doesn’t know what they're doing.
I can handle this.

Get back in the house, Joan.

Ward, you’re
acting like Errol Flynn.

Joan, damn it. Shut up!

I just remembered.

I got two guys stuck
on top of the Ferris wheel.

Somebody’s gotta
get them down.

Macey, get on your bike, get
over to the amusement pier.

Dad, I gotta watch
you sink the sub.

That's an order, son.
Yes, sir.

Look, kid, this is the key to the
control box in the Ferris wheel.

I know, I know, I know. Don’t
touch anything red or silver.

Yeah, I know. Right.
Only blue.

Okay, everybody, over here. Get on
this gun. We gotta move it over there.

We're sinking
a Japanese sub tonight.

Are you sure you wanna go
through with this, Ward?

Okay. Now, a little of this...

Watch it. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

All right.

There. There.
Got him right in my sight.

I don’t think you’re
gonna hit him, Ward.

I can't believe it.
Why aren't they shooting back?

They can't see us, that's why.

Do not push a clip of ammunition
into the feed rollers here.

Oh, honey, I saw
that movie. Watch this.

Going my way, sister?

Son of a bitch stole my tank.

First he gets
egg on my uniform,

then he steals my girl,
then he steals my tank.

That's the tank
I sent to get that sub.

Yeah.

Near some amusement park.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

You know where it is?

Yeah, sure.

Get in.

Come on. Go. Go. Go. God damn it!
Let's go.

Turn right.
Ga ahead. Turn right here.

I'm a bug.

You should never pull this
hand-operating lever to the rear.

Let's get out of here!

Do not restore the lever
to the firing position.

Do not make sure that this
caver is completely closed.

Lats of luck.

And never, ever,
under any circumstances,

should you disperse...

Never, ever,
under any circumstances...

Foot trigger.

Whoa!

I think about $150
to $200 will fix that.

Did it get them?
Did it get them?

Close, Ward. Close.

Let's get this back out there.
I'll blast them again.

All right.

Great, we're last.
Where the hell is it?

By the ocean.

The ocean? That's left.

No, straight. Right.
Straight?

Right or straight?

I said straight, God damn it!

Sayonara, sucker.
What are you doing?

Geronimo!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Who's got the last laugh now?

Hey, quit racking the car.

Yeah, quit racking the car.

Shut up. I wasn't racking it.

Hey. Hey, you guys.
I'm supposed to get you down.

Thank Christ.

It rolls easy once it
gets started. Just kiss it.

Don’t worry, Ward.
Gentle as a baby.

There goes Dad.

Watch out.

Open the door!

Dad.

You’re gonna
wreck the whale house.

Bays,
go upstairs to your room.

Don’t come down
until I call ya...

You’re ruining Christmas.

Lining it up.

Too much.

You wrecked the stairs!

Which one do I pull?

The one on the right.
No, the one on the left.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Coming back.

Now I've got them.

Ward Douglas, don’t you dare
fire that gun in this house!

Boy, that was fun.

Wow.

"Warning! Do not...

"...turn on...

"...switch."

Yeah.

Oh, my God.
That's the wrong switch.

Turn off those lights,
you little asshole!

Oh, my God.

Trapped like beavers.

Hollywood.

Hollywood.

Oh, my God.

I can't...
I can't stop it.

Goodbye, Hollywood!

Hey, are you okay?
Is he all right?

Boy, that was fun.
Can we do it again?

You wanna do it again?
Yeah, I wanna do it again.

You really wanna do it again?

I blew the exhaust manifold.

There's the ocean.
Hang a right.

Who cares about the ocean, Wally?
Right here.

Get it off me.

Hey, hey, hey.
Get in the back of the tank.

Wait for me.

Betty.
Macey.

How's Mam and Dad?

They're fine.

Who knows how
to load this gun?

He does.

Give me that. Give me that.
Give me that. Give me that.

All right. Get it.

What's that?

Here, hold this.

Now, Sarge, what is the
loading and firing procedure

for the 75-millimeter cannon?

There are five
basic components...

This is it, pay attention.

...to the new General Motors
electric refrigerator.

What?
One, a Freon compressor.

What?
Two, the Freon tube.

No, no. Sarge.
Three, the power transformer.

No, Sarge.
Four...

Geronimo!

Whoa! It's turning.
Look, it's painting this way!

Torpedo!

Torpedo!

Blackout. Blackout.
Douse those street lights.

Kill that theater marquee.

I made it.
It's me, you yellow bastards.

Come on.
It's me, Wild Bill Kelsa!

I know you’re in there, you
yellow-bellied zipperheads.

Wally, did we get them?

I think so. She's going down.

All right. Hey. Where are you?

Oh, Geronimo!

All right.
My name is Wild Bill Kelsa.

And don’t you... Shoot.

All right,
turn this tub around.

You’re taking me to Tokyo.

Anybody got a light?

Roaring out of
a brilliant blue western sky,

foreign aircraft, flying both
in large formation and singly,

flew over Southern
California last night

and drew heavy barrages
of anti-aircraft fire,

the first ever to
sound over United States

continental soil
against an enemy invader.

No bombs were
reported dropped.

Shortly before 10:00 p.m.,
the police reported

that an airplane had been shot
down into the La Brea Tar Pits.

In other parts of the city,

fifth column acts were
reported during the air raid.

Mysterious lights were spotted
in many locales.

In the Tarzana hills,
Burbank police

saw a string of
lights in a "V" form,

pointing toward
the Lockheed aircraft plant.

- All right, fall in the yard.
- Fall in the yard, men!

Foley, Jones, Reese,
Hinshaw. Ten-hut!

...and immediately, army
searchlights shot into the sky.

Sergeant, what happened here?

Sir, while suppressing
a riot on Hollywood Boulevard

last night with our tank,

I was struck unconscious.

My men, however, received
a report about a Japanese sub

off the Santa Monica Pier from a
dawned Army Air Carps captain.

They responded immediately,
went to the objective,

and at about 2300 hours,
they engaged the enemy.

Damage?

The Japanese sunk bath our tank
and the Ferris wheel, sir.

I think we hit the sub.
I saw it go down.

You see, sir, I...

Danna. Danna.
Danna. Not now. Not now.

Oh, honey.

And my girlfriend
was there, because...

Well, there was
this wild man there...

Son, is this a long story?

Yes, sir.
Then save it.

Sir, I'd like to
say something.

We've been through
a lat, all of us.

We faced the enemy
for the first time last night,

right in our own backyards,

and we came together,

put our differences aside and carried
on in the true spirit of America.

I think no
matter what happens,

what sacrifices
we have to face,

we can carry
forward like Americans.

While we're doing
our repairs here,

I'm going to hang this
wreath on my front door.

This symbol of Christmas,
this symbol of peace.

I just want to remind us all
that we're not going to let

a bunch of treacherous enemy
killjoys ruin our Christmas.

Boy, that's great.

What?

You got any tanks on
the Burma Road, sir?

I'm just a motor pool sergeant,
but I'm a great mechanic, sir.

You know, this year wasn't
the big year of the war, '41.

I think the really big
year is gonna be 1942.

Let go of me.

It's gonna be a long war.

Let me go. Let me go.

Open the door!

That is the craziest
son of a bitch I ever saw.

Torpedo!

It was on that radio there.

- Jesus Christ, it's a sub.
- Look, you guys, a Jap sub.

You know, I can't
beat you in a fair fight.

Back. Back.

Sergeant? Sir, they're
rioting in the streets.

Whoa!

Let's get out of here!

Hi, Stretch!

Close, Ward. Close.

Hell, that reminds me.

Kill them cockroaches
back there in that flour sack.

Look at that!

There goes Dad.

Kill a few Krauts for me, huh?