Original subtitles

"So they set off up the hill arm in arm, the knight, the dragon, and the boy.

"The lights in the little village began to go out one by one."

"But there were stars and a late moon as they climbed the downs together."

Robert, please.

Go on, I can hear in any position.

"And as they turned the last corner and disappeared from view,

"snatches of an old song were born back on the night breeze.

"I can't be certain which of them was singing,

"but I think it was the dragon."

Go on. I'm listening.

That's the end, and a very lovely end, too.

Yeah, tell me, tell me.

It's funny, no matter which way I aim,

I always hit the same duck.

Robert, I have a wonderful idea. We'll sell this book to Walt Disney.

It kind of belongs to your nephew.

So does this, too. I wonder what he'd take for it.

I mean, the idea for a movie.

I'm sure if you went to his studio and suggested it to him, he'd jump at it.

Me suggest a story to Walt Disney?

Why, I hardly know him.

Well, you hardly knew me when you suggested marriage.

Yeah, look at the trouble I got now.

He can't listen to every crackpot with a wild idea.

You might be the exception.

All you would have to do would be go to his studio

and show him the book.

I wouldn't dream of it.

They're always open to new ideas.

Get your things on and stop shilly-shallying.

I am not shillying, and I am not shallying.

But once and for all, I will not go to the studio.

I will not make myself ridiculous.

And that's final.

It's a wild goose chase, that's what it is.

Don't imagine he's out here in the first place.

Where else would he be?

You know these movie producers.

New York, Saratoga, Palm Beach.

Hollywood.

Well, now we're arrested.

Really wasn't anything, officer.

I just happened to be driving by...

- Did you have an appointment? - You see?

We want to see Mr. Disney.

Did you have an appointment?

Yes, but no, not actually an appointment but...

You see, you have to have an appointment.

Come on, let's be getting on.

The name, please?

The Reluctant...

The Disney...

The Reluctant Dragon is this little story here.

That's the name of the... You can read it.

My wife seems to think it's pretty funny.

The name is Benchley.

Capital B-E-N-C-H-L-E...

We have a story here we want Mr. Disney to see.

Tell him not to bother if he's busy.

- It isn't important. - It is important.

Thank you. Just a moment, please.

Well, you better get out.

Get out? What for?

You can't drive into his office.

Why don't we get the appointment

and come back tomorrow?

Get the appointment and come back tomorrow.

You'd think you were going to the dentist.

Well, I almost would rather.

You can park over there, I'm afraid.

Oh, no, I have some shopping to do.

I'll come back for you later.

You're not coming in with me?

No. Where'd you get that idea?

- Here's a pass for you, sir. - Pass?

For me?

How do you like that?

Thanks very much.

Oh, Mr. Benchley. This way.

Just go straight ahead then left to the main building.

Straight ahead, left at the main building.

At your service, sir.

- Hello? Oh, hello, I'm... - Robert Benchley.

That's funny. That's my name, too.

I'm to take you to Mr. Disney's office.

Oh, no, don't bother. I'll find my...

Oh, no trouble at all, sir. It's my assignment.

This way, sir.

Nice little plant you got here.

Little? There are 51 acres here, Mr. Benchley.

- 51. - Yes, sir.

51 acres of eroded, sandy soil.

"Mildly alkaline in content

"but rich in deposits of cobalt and gypsum."

Gypsum, well, well.

"On our left, you will note a large building

"of cement and limestone construction

"housing our air conditioning plant.

"This comprises 11 gas-fired boilers

"with rated heated capacity for 17,647,000 units per hour."

I've got a pass.

Yeah, so I see.

I suppose that's what you'd call a life class in there, huh?

Real models and all that sort of thing?

Yeah, why don't you go on in?

Oh, no, I can't. I've got an appointment with Mr. Disney.

I haven't got time. Thanks just the same.

Okay.

There are just a couple of little things I'd like all of you to keep in mind.

Don't forget to emphasize composition and form.

And remember, curves are the important thing

in a model of this type.

Be sure and bring out the sweep of her torso

and the modeling of those hips.

The texture of her skin is also essential, as well as the highlights and shadows.

And the legs are of vital importance.

You have a tendency to draw them too short, Jack.

I was... I was looking for Walt.

Well, he's not here right now.

You're Robert Benchley, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

I don't know who this is.

He's a member of our regular staff.

Did you hurt yourself?

No, no, no. No, I'm fine.

Would you like to come in and look around?

Yes, I would if I wouldn't disturb anybody.

- Oh, not at all. We're glad to have you. - Oh, thank you.

I hope I didn't disturb the model.

She doesn't mind. What do you think of her?

Well, she's got a nice, kind face. I'll say that for her.

But it doesn't get her much.

She's the only model we have the boys don't ask out for dinner.

Does the boss know that all this is going on?

Sure. This is no picnic.

- It's all part of their work. - Work?

Yes, you see, before they can cartoon an animal,

they have to have some idea of what the real thing looks like.

That's not bad, Ken,

but try to get more comedy into it, more cartoon feeling.

Don't be afraid to exaggerate.

See?

Say, here's something pretty cute over here.

- Oh, a coolie elephant, huh? - Yes.

Expression's good, Lotus. Very funny. But you're still making him too graceful.

Why not do it more like this?

I'll say, that's a shame.

No, I think round tummy kind of cute.

Thanks, pal. Well, zoi gin.

That means "good-bye" in Chinese.

I'm afraid you've overdone it.

Your elephant's too dumb-looking.

Don't you think so, Mr. Benchley?

You can't draw an elephant too dumb for me.

Just look at her.

Look at that great big head.

You wouldn't think that the brain inside it

was no bigger than an English walnut, would you?

Why, half the time the average elephant doesn't know which way he's going.

The elephant, by the way, is the only animal in the world

that has a tail on both ends,

which probably explains why it doesn't get anything.

These sketches that you've been making here

bring out my point.

- Do you mind just a moment, please? - No.

There you see the tiny eyes,

the blank, vacant stare,

the stupid, oafish expression.

Well, I guess I spoke a little too soon.

But you must admit that a face like that

even on an elephant is a vast improvement.

Of course, that's only one man's opinion.

Thank you very much.

Ah, Martha, that's always been one of my favorite...

Beg your pardon, but who is that?

Florence Gill.

Oh, Florence Gill. I remember very well.

I heard her sing Marguerite at the Metropolitan once.

Okay, boys, take five minutes.

Very nice.

- Bravo. A magnificent performance. - Thank you.

Of course I always knew that Donald wasn't a real duck,

but to hear an old hen singing opera.

And you certainly can handle that foul language.

That's really great, yeah.

Confidentially, just how do you do that?

Do you have a whistle or a gadget or something?

No, I just form an air pocket in my cheek like this,

and then I think, how would a duck say it?

Then I'd say...

Air pocket?

No, no, you're not thinking like a duck.

Congratulations, Mr. Benchley.

Say, I don't suppose you could... No, of course you couldn't.

Couldn't what?

I was just wondering if you could possibly

talk like a dragon. My wife...

Well, how would a dragon sound?

Well, let's see, a dragon, first place, he'd be down on all fours like this.

And he'd be covered with scales, ducky.

Yeah, covered with scales. That's right.

Anyway, then he'd sort of be roaring and raging

up and down the floor of his cave and all,

looking for mushrooms and things.

Maybe...

Not finding any.

Well, I guess... Guess it isn't down here.

If you happen to find it, would you save it for me, please?

If you're quite finished, Mr. Benchley, we'll be on our way.

Yeah, as a matter of fact I was just looking for you.

Oh, sure.

"In a typical working week, the studio staff consumes

"4,000 quartos of animation paper,

"40 types of assorted color crayons,

"and 49,000 reams of celluloid."

Is that so?

"60,000 pounds of..."

Come on, boys.

Okay, let's try it again, a little more pressure.

Crazy.

Watch yourself.

Don't be afraid. I'm only the train whistle.

They certainly have improved the looks of them since I was a boy.

What goes on around here anyway?

We're making the sound for a cartoon train.

Look, I'll show you.

All aboard.

All aboard.

Clear the track.

Here I go.

Wow, does that come natural

or is that something you picked up in high school?

Oh, anybody can do it.

The train sounds are all on here.

And you hold these over your vocal cords

and move your lips like this.

Hello. Hello.

- Don't you want to try it? - No, I wouldn't know what to say.

Oh, say anything, only don't really talk.

Just make believe.

Oh, don't tickle now.

What do I say, "Friends, Romans, countrymen"?

Anything.

Friends.

Romans.

Countrymen.

See how easy it is?

Pardon me, Mr. Benchley. This is your score, Doris.

I've got all the cues marked, and I think you come in

right after the fourth beat there, okay?

- Okay, Frank. - Let's give it a lot of personality now.

All right, ready, everybody.

Casey Junior. I used to know his old man.

All right, boys, let's go for rehearsal.

Lights.

Picture.

Let's go.

One, two, three, four.

All aboard.

All aboard.

Cows.

Hey! Pull the switch.

Pull the switch. Wake up!

Pull the switch.

Hey!

Ready with your storm.

Look out.

Bridge out.

Bridge out.

Help!

Help! Bridge out!

Help!

Okay, cut. Lights.

I'll be running along. Thanks ever so much.

- How did you like it? - Oh, fine, fine.

Only after all, wouldn't it be a lot easier just to wreck a real train?

Bye.

Mr. Benchley?

Oh, Mr. Benchley?

Mr. Benchley! Mr. Benchley!

Oh, Mr. Benchley?

Okay, write it down.

Can you put these 500s away?

You all set on the air, Burt?

Okay, hit those babies in sequence.

All right, check those plane locks.

Okay, watch your step.

51-25.

51-25, check.

Check your vertical.

Vertical, 5,700.

Oh, Technicolor.

End of class now, boys.

Bye.

Hit the lights in level E, would you, Bob?

Well, hello. How did you find your way in here?

Oh, I guess...

Remember me, the train whistle? Whoo, whoo, whoo.

Oh, sure. But you look so different in Technicolor.

- Aren't you with the railroad anymore? - Oh, no, I was just helping out

while the regular train whistle went to the dentist.

Don't tell me that you worked on this...

The camera? No. I'm just in charge of the things they feed to it.

That's the gosh darndest camera I ever saw.

You ought to see it from the top.

- Would you like to? - No, no, no.

Slim, how 'bout a visitor?

- Old pal of mine? - Sure, send him up.

Come on.

I sometimes get dizzy up high.

Give me your things.

Couldn't I just as well see it from down here?

Go on. It's a clear day. You can see Catalina.

Now, take it easy. Watch yourself.

Watch yourself.

There it is.

I got a candid camera.

That's fine.

Now look right through there.

Right there.

Uh, looks kind of fuzzy.

Fuzzy? Kind of fuzzy.

Let's see. Hmm.

Oh.

Well, I'll be darned.

Say, we're going right along, aren't we?

Right down between the trees.

Just like going through a real forest.

Boy, that's something, isn't it?

How much exposure do you give it?

24, dissolve shot at 916.

I see.

Didn't know you had to run up a skyscraper

just to photograph Donald Duck.

Oh, this is just where we do our trick stuff.

Donald has his own camera over there.

Over there? Is that where you make him move?

Yeah, it's where he does his tricks.

That's for me. Could I see that?

Oh, yeah, go ahead. Down this way?

Yeah, watch out for that cable now.

Well, was it worth the climb?

I'll say. Is this where Donald Duck hangs out?

Uh-huh. Want to meet him?

That's what I came over for.

What are you doing, cooling him off?

Oh, no, just getting rid of the dust.

Each speck would magnify so many times

that on the screen it would look like a blizzard.

Yeah, but why do you put him on isinglass?

It's not. It's celluloid.

I still don't get the idea.

So we can see through it.

Then we can use the same background every time.

Why doesn't something happen? All the ducks look alike.

Oh, no, each one is different.

See this one, the foot's off the ground.

Now we take one picture.

This next one, the foot's down.

See?

Get the idea?

Yeah, but he still doesn't move.

Just a minute, big boy.

Give me time! Give me time!

Good. I'll show you.

I'll show you.

Now look. First, my foot is up here.

- See? - Uh-huh.

Then it's down here.

Understand?

I get it.

- And this. - Yeah.

- And this. - I see.

And that. See?

Sure.

When you do it faster, I'm walking. Get it?

Yes. Certainly.

Now in this picture, I'm a farmer, see?

I'm going now to milk the cow.

Old McDonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

How am I doing?

Old McDonald had a farm

E-I

E-I

O

It kills me. Only I can't understand a thing he says.

Mr. Benchley. Calling Mr. Benchley.

Mr. Benchley, you're wanted in Walt's office.

Haven't you been up to see Walt yet?

Yeah, sure... Well, no. You want to know something?

Thanks, son. So long.

So long.

Trouble is I'm a fugitive from a lecture tour.

There's a young fellow on my trail, a horn-rimmed kid with glasses.

You must mean Humphrey.

That would be his name, yeah.

Well, don't worry. We'll go in the Rainbow Room.

He'll never find you there.

Listen, Humphrey could have found Dr. Livingston in the first reel.

- Hello, Doris. - Hello.

Hey, "Rainbow Room" is right.

Don't tell me you cook all this yourself.

Uh-huh. Secret formulas and everything.

You can trust me.

The girls add a couple hundred different chemicals to it,

then it all goes to the paint mill.

Paint mill.

Well, that looks very tasty.

Thank you, Barbara. Here we are, Bambi.

Cute, isn't he?

Let me hold it up to the light.

Like it?

Be all right if you could get that reindeer out of the way.

I'll see if I can scare up the background that goes with it.

Nothing wrong with the one I just saw.

Thanks. This is his background.

He fits right on top of it, like this.

- There. - And very cunning, too.

I'd like to take him home with me.

What do you know? He took me seriously.

Well, I certainly have a way with animals.

Don't worry, they're always shy with strangers.

Thank you, John.

Excuse me. I'll be back in a minute.

Hey, hey, don't... Wait.

Looks like everyone's here except Mickey Mouse.

Pardon me.

That's all right.

You ought to hear him when he strikes 12:00.

Well, here's a cute little number.

- Here's a brand-new one. - Oh, Mickey?

I don't suppose you got something here

for about a dollar and a half that holds tobacco, have you?

Silly, they're not for sale.

If they're not for sale, what are they for?

Or am I too young to know?

We make them up for the artists

to give them an idea of what each character looks like

from every angle.

Then everybody will make him the same.

See?

That sounds like a very smart idea.

I suppose when you start work on these things

you sometimes don't know how they're gonna turn out.

There. Does that look familiar to you?

It ought to. I shaved it this morning.

- Would you like to have it? - Yeah, I'd love it.

Always shoot darts at it.

Be careful, the head is a little soft.

Uh-oh. Here comes the menace.

This way.

Well, if he's got a bloodhound, I'm sunk.

Hey, Joanne, have you seen Mr. Benchley?

No, poison, I haven't seen Mr. Benchley.

Hmm.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

All clear. Good-bye.

I beg your pardon. Is this the way to the front gate?

Yes, keep right on down the corridor.

- You can't miss it. - Thank you.

You know, if I didn't know how they made those noises here,

I'd think that was a real, live baby.

Would you? I wonder, will you please open the door?

There's your sound effects.

Can't you hold him still, Al?

Suppose you try holding him still.

Hello, big boy. Here's lunch.

Say, Al, tip his head back just a little, will you?

Okay, I'll try.

Jimmy, Jimmy, look here.

Look here. Jimmy.

That's it.

Now how 'bout a little smile?

That's a boy.

That's just right.

Let's try the topper now, huh?

Now keep that old head up. Way up.

Chin up, big boy.

That a boy now.

No, no, just relax.

Oh, that's swell. Any more coming out?

- Sorry, boys, time's up. - What, already?

I never saw a kid eat so often.

Look, we only just got started.

You know the rules, 15 minutes and he has to rest.

I'll bring him back in a little while.

Pretty soft for you, eh? Knocking off early for lunch?

Who's that guy, Al?

Yeah. Hey, just a minute.

Don't go away, mister.

I was just holding a nurse for the door or...

You haven't heard this story, have you?

- No, not a word, honest. - Just the guy.

Swell. It'll only take a minute.

Come on, fellas, get him a chair.

Take his coat, will you? Get the book, too, will you?

You see, what we need's a fresh mind.

Yeah, a fresh mind.

All right, what are you planning to do with me?

Oh, nothing. We just want to show you something.

- Yeah, a new story. - Story?

You mean to tell me that's all just one movie?

Sure, that's it.

Of course you'll have to imagine the whole thing in action.

Well, I'm a pretty tough audience.

Would you like to hear it?

- Go ahead and tell it. - Okay.

You see, it starts up here.

And it ends way down here.

Yeah. Now we're calling it Baby Weems.

First we open up on the title here, see?

And under that we have the opening theme music.

Okay, Frank.

Now after the main title,

we go to the usual expecting father, see?

You know, hospital corridor.

Here's Papa Weems pacing back and forth,

back and forth.

Nervous as a cat.

Cigarette butts all over the floor.

It's his first baby, see?

The suspense is awful.

Then all of a sudden we see a door open.

A nurse sticks her head out and says,

"Mr. Weems. It's a boy, Mr. Weems."

"A boy."

Then the poor guy slumps to the floor in a heap.

Then we dissolve over to the hospital nursery.

It's chock-full of brand-new babies all yelling and squalling at once.

Waah! Waah!

Then we come down closer.

We show a nurse at the foot of Baby Weems' crib.

He's a cute little guy.

The only kid in the room who isn't yelling his head off.

You're a quiet little fellow, aren't you?

Well, there really isn't much to talk about.

He talked!

Why? Is it against the rules?

Oh, Doctor.

Dr. Livingston. Calling Dr. Crumpf.

Dr. Hayes.

Dr. Jekyll. Dr. Shapiro.

Dr. Cronkite.

I'm awfully sorry, gentlemen.

But it's quite necessary for our lung development, you know?

- Astounding. - Unbelievable.

Amazing.

Yes, amazing was the word.

And in no time at all, the whole hospital

swarmed with reporters, photographers, columnists,

and sob sisters.

Before the day was over,

Baby Weems became the talk of the town.

Two days old?

And my boy, Irving, is six years old already.

Can't speak a word of English.

New York City, New York.

Attendants at the county hospital today

were amazed when a two-day-old baby started to talk.

Not baby talk, mind you, but good, clear American English.

He's sure got smart brains.

Yeah, I bet his folks are happy.

But where's my baby?

Can't I even see him?

Sorry, Mrs. Weems. He can't be disturbed now.

He's in conference.

Oh.

But don't you see, Mister, he's my...

I'm his father.

You don't get in here without a press card, see?

And as the fame of this little infant prodigy

spread far and wide, world-renowned celebrities

came to listen to his words of wisdom.

I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Einstein.

But this reverses your whole basic theory.

Shh. Not so loud.

It's not only the things you say, Mr. Shaw.

It's the cute way you say them.

Why, 2,000 years ahead of his time.

Yes, but still a baby.

He invented questions

that not only baffled the Information Please experts

but even stumped the quiz kids.

Then he'd devote the rest of the morning

to a little research work in bio chemistry,

psychophysics or...

Bacteriology.

Bacteriology. Yes, thank you.

In his spare time, little Weems turned his hand to music.

And when the concert season opened,

he was invited to conduct his own composition

at Carnegie Hall.

Sorry, the house is completely sold out.

Do you suppose we'll ever see him?

I wonder.

The whole country was rapidly becoming Weems-conscious.

There was Baby Weems soap, Baby Weems breakfast food,

shoe polish, and salad dressing.

His smiling face was used to advertise everything

from canned spinach to folding beds.

And even the leaders of fashion bowed to the Weems influence

with startling results.

Day by day, the child marvel

continues to astound scientists and scholars

with his incredible store of knowledge.

Honorary degrees are bestowed on Baby Weems

by scores of leading universities.

Honors are heaped upon his diminutive brow.

He is knighted Sir Herbert Weems.

Medals of honor are presented to him with all the trimmings.

Masters of modern art immortalize him in canvas

and in stone.

And thus, the charm and wisdom of a tiny infant captivates the...

Look. Look, Mother.

- There's our baby. - Isn't he darling?

- Shh! - Down in front.

Sit down. Throw him out.

Time marches on.

News of the wonder child's achievements

soon reached the nation's capital.

And it is my firm opinion, my friends,

that the one person capable of solving

our gigantic problem is none other

than that distinguished citizen and scholar,

Baby Weems.

Little Weems rushed to answer the president's call.

He was received with all the pomp and ceremony

of a conquering hero.

And as usual, Mr. and Mrs. Weems were on hand

to share their baby's greatest triumph.

- Yoo-hoo! - Hey, baby!

It is my great honor and privilege

to announce that the all-important message,

that history-making address we have so eagerly awaited,

is at last about to be heard.

The next voice you will hear over this worldwide hookup

will be that of Baby Weems who will...

Huh? What's that?

There will be a slight delay in the Baby Weems broadcast.

Hello? What? What?

Stop the presses. Break out those Weems pictures.

Copyboy!

Dr. Livingston. Calling Dr. Crumpf.

Dr. Jekyll.

City hospital.

The tragic news soon spread to the far corners of the Earth.

And as leading doctors labored continuously

over the little fellow,

the entire world waited with grave apprehension.

During the crisis, poor Mr. and Mrs. Weems kept constant vigil.

No, not at their baby's bedside,

but at the radio,

anxiously awaiting each news bulletin on the child's condition.

One moment please. Stand by.

We have just received word from the hospital.

Baby Weems' temperature is beginning to drop,

and it looks as if the little wonder baby is on the road to recovery.

Oh? What's that? Hold the front page! Copyboy!

The joyful news spread like wildfire.

And then once again, after long weeks of anxiety and despair,

that eagerly awaited message,

so vital to all humanity,

was to be heard at last.

The entire world was tense with suppressed excitement

as the great moment arrived.

All right, Mr. Weems, you're on the air.

Gloggle.

Gloggle?

And the fickle public,

so eager to idolize the wonder child,

was just as quick to forget him.

And little Baby Weems,

like jigsaw puzzles, mahjong, and miniature golf,

soon became just a memory.

But far from the cheering crowds,

the glamour of brass bands and spotlights,

two plain, ordinary people were made happier than kings.

For that same fickle public had returned to them

the one thing they wanted,

just a happy, healthy, normal baby.

Goochie, goochie, goochie.

- Dada. - Did you hear that, Mama?

He said, "Daddy" just as plain.

So we end up with them down on the floor, see?

Playing with the baby.

Then we fade out with them in that pose

and bring in the end title music.

That's the end of the picture.

Of course it's a little rough.

I think you'll get the general idea.

Oh, sure. I'll certainly have to see it when you get it finished.

Say, would I have to go through all this just to sell Walt a story?

Well, that's what we always do.

That's all I want to know. Thanks, fellas.

Uh, you didn't say how you liked it.

Oh, it's great. You got a natural there.

Anybody that doesn't like baby pictures ought to have his head...

That's a pip.

That's taken years off my life.

I'll get it.

If that's for me, I just left.

Mr. Benchley!

Mr. Benchley!

Oh, Mr. Benchley!

Well, what goes on, pal?

Old football injury. Kind of bothers me sometimes.

I wonder if you'd mind if I kill a little time in here.

No, go right ahead. We like interruptions.

- Make yourself at home. - Thanks.

Oh, an art exhibit, huh?

Oh.

Maeterlinck's Blue Bird.

Oh, what am I saying?

Blue Boy by Gainsborough.

Dancing Ducks by Degas.

Say, I wonder how all this would strike Rembrandt and those boys.

Pinkie.

Ah, Donald's Mother.

Well, dear, dear, how quaint.

Whistler's Duck.

That's wonderful.

Those are very amusing.

Oh, you mean the ducks?

Well, I don't know.

Some guy came in here with an art book the other day,

and that's what happened.

Pretty swell for you just making funny pictures all day.

You think so?

The first 100,000 are the hardest.

I know what it is now. Goofy.

Only three fingers?

Yeah, saves time and looks better.

Don't forget that other button.

Oh, boy.

No shoes?

Boy, what size are those?

Oh, about 15 1/2.

There you are.

Now let's see how the whole scene looks.

Oh.

- Ready? - Okay, shoot.

That's slick, all right.

Never mind the excuses, Humphrey.

If you can't keep track of Mr. Benchley,

how can I trust you with anything important?

- Sorry, sir. - Where have you looked?

Inking and painting department, color lab...

Have you been to the animators' rooms?

- Not yet, sir. - Well, try 'em.

Now what's the point of all this anyway?

We thought we'd give you a little preview

of Goofy's latest horse opera.

No truer words have ever been uttered than those of Confucius,

or some other philosopher, who said...

Riding is perhaps one of the most beneficial forms of exercise.

The gentle rocking action of the horse

acts as an invigorating tonic to those vital organs,

the heart and the liver.

Now, in the canter, it's the gentle massage of the liver.

Whoa. Whoa! Whoa!

Of course this gives you just a rough idea

of the beneficial qualities.

And now we come to the first essentials of riding.

The proper costume.

Not yet.

The greatest care should be taken in the cut of...

Oh, all right, come on.

The cut of one's riding habit

in order to give one that well-groomed appearance

right down to his fingertips.

The hat should be conservative in design,

fit snuggly, and protect one's head.

The boots should be comfortable

and present a neat appearance.

The riding coat should be divided

so as to drape neatly over the horse.

And then of course the horse itself

is an integral part.

Yes, the horse.

The servant of mankind.

The aristocrat of the animal kingdom...

Noble, faithful, obedient, and kind.

Most magnificent of all dumb animals.

Dumb?

And now we come to the approach.

Always approach the horse with a confident attitude.

Remember, man is the master.

The next step is to win the confidence of the horse.

This is readily accomplished by offering him a carrot

as an overture of friendship.

Now that we have won the horse's friendship,

we enter upon the next important phase,

how to mount.

For the beginner, we might suggest

the stepladder or mounting block.

Perhaps the most popular method

is the horizontal or lateral approach,

known as the up and over.

Now that we have mastered this method,

we may safely discard the mounting block

and learn to use the stirrups.

As you probably know,

there's a right and a wrong side for mounting the horse.

The right side happens to be the wrong side.

This leaves us the left side,

which is right.

Therefore, since the left is right

and the right, wrong,

we begin by placing the left foot,

that's the right foot, in the left stirrup,

which is right, being the left of course.

Since the right would be wrong.

Now, this is important enough to bear repeating.

Remember, that since the right is always wrong,

the left has to be right.

All right?

Now this happens to be the wrong side,

which sometimes leads to slight difficulties.

And now for a few tips on the correct form

of mounting one's horse.

Swinging the leg in a graceful arc,

raise it high above the horse, thus.

Then drop lightly into the saddle.

All well-trained saddle horses have gaits.

First, the trot.

Note that the motion of our steed

is similar to that of a rocking chair.

Now, the man moving in perfect unison

as if horse and rider were one.

And now together.

This is known as rising to the trot

or posting.

Only the magic of the slow-motion camera

can do justice to the grace and beauty

of this spectacle.

As man and beast,

responding simultaneously to the gentle undulation,

glide through space with a wave-like motion,

the summer scene caressed by a gentle zephyr.

And now that we have mastered the art of riding,

we take to the hurdles.

All horses love to jump.

Sometimes a horse may be just a bit obstinate.

Then a light touch of the spurs may be necessary.

I'm glad this came up.

When you have fallen from a horse,

lie quietly.

Remember, a horse will never step on a fallen rider.

Yes, hurdling is undoubtedly the thrill of thrills.

In all the world, there's no sensation like this,

the wind in your face,

the scent of autumn in your nostrils,

the staccato beat of hooves on crisp earth

as man and animal are united in concerted effort.

Faster and faster we go,

really tingling with excitement.

The picture of power and grace

as the thundering hooves of the noble beast

carry him straight as an arrow to his mark.

And now the jump.

Stop!

We'll go back and try that again.

Whoa, whoa. Whoa!

And now, as the late afternoon sun

slowly fades over the distant hills,

reluctantly we turn our footsteps homeward.

The experienced horseman always walks his horse

to the stable.

Stable?

Indeed, the outside of a horse

is good for the inside of a man.

What do you know?

He certainly knows a lot of tricks.

Of course it's none of my business,

but is all this just to get an expression

on the dog's face?

- Yeah, that's the idea. - What do you do? Just go...

Mr. Benchley.

Well, hello. I've been looking all over for you.

Mr. Disney's waiting for you in his projection room.

- Good-bye, Pluto. - Tough luck, pal.

This time I'll follow you.

Two little skunk tails going through the flowers.

That's doable. Yeah.

All right, thanks.

And what's the footage now?

I've got him, Mr. Disney.

- Got who, Humphrey? - Mr. Benchley.

Oh, hello, Bob. How are you?

Would you please sign for him?

- Sign for him? - Yes, sir.

I want proof of delivery.

Boys, this is Bob Benchley.

Hello, Bob.

Thank you, sir.

Sit down, Bob. Make yourself comfortable.

Thank you.

Say, you certainly are a hard man to find.

Am I?

We're just gonna run a new picture.

- You want to sit through it? - Yeah, I'd love to.

That would be fine.

You can roll whenever it's ready.

I understand you got some kind of a story idea, Bob.

Oh, well, no, my wife had an idea.

I've got it here, some sort of a book.

You want to hold on to this thing?

These are some things the girls whipped up

just in fun.

That's kind of an exaggeration. Hold this, I'm sorry.

There's a pass in case you want to get in.

Oh.

How'd that happen to get in here?

Oh, here it is. Here it is.

Well, I'll explain it to you after.

Long, long ago

in a faraway land across the sea,

there lived a little boy who considered himself

quite an authority on brave, fearless knights

and their mortal enemies,

those horrible, fire-breathing dragons

that daily terrorized the countryside.

One afternoon, as the boy sat deeply engrossed

in his favorite subject...

Good afternoon, father.

Oh, son, I seen it.

Up on the downs, it was.

All covered with scales and such.

And a tail with a sort of a nook on it.

No, it will not catch me.

It's horrible. That's what it is, horrible.

It's only a dragon, father.

Oh.

Only a dragon!

Oh, the village!

Help!

There's a dragon a comin'!

Ahh!

Don't worry, father. I'll have a look at him.

La la-la la la la

Ooh, ooh

La la la-la la

Hello, dragon.

Oh! Oh, now, boy.

Don't you bung stones at me of squirt water or anything.

I won't have it.

Oh, I just came for a friendly chat.

But if I'm not wanted...

Oh, well, do be seated.

Thank you.

But if you don't mind,

the other way, please.

Oh.

I'll only be a minute.

Have you had any nice battles lately?

Battles?

Oh, no, no. No battles, no.

Oh.

Oh, probably too busy scourging a countryside

and devouring fair damsels then.

Scourging? Devouring?

Good heavens, no.

But don't you ever do anything desperate?

Well, yes, I...

I do make up poetry.

Poetry?

Verses, you know.

- Care to hear my latest sonnet? - Well, I...

Oh, you'll love this.

I call it Just a Drifting.

Just a drifting o'leaves

like a dewdrop, fancy free.

Playing with the gentle breezes,

romping with the bumblebees.

Oh, what fun!

Joy never ceases.

Just a drifting.

Very nice, but you're in for trouble, you know?

Trouble?

My father's arousing the village,

and they'll be here with spears and things to exterminate you.

You're an enemy of the human race.

Oh! I haven't an enemy in the world.

Too lazy to make 'em.

Prancing, dancing to and fro,

not too fast, not too slow.

Well, the early birds are seeking early worms

who are slyly peeking.

Hear the night owls softly shrieking.

Just a drifting.

Hey, what's all the excitement?

It's Sir Giles, stupid.

Sir Giles?

Hooray for Sir Giles!

Hooray for Sir Giles!

Hooray for the dragon killer!

Hooray for the...

Dragon killer.

Oh, gosh.

It's all up, dragon. He's coming.

He's here now.

Now, boy, it's impolite to interrupt a person.

Who's coming?

Sir Giles, on a big horse with a long sword and spear.

You'll have to fight him.

I never fight. I never did.

Doesn't agree with me.

But... But...

Now, boy, now, boy, just run along,

tell Sir Giles to go home. I'm sure you can arrange it.

Toodle-oo.

All right, now. All right, off you go.

Sir Giles can't be disturbed.

Surely he's in conference, he is.

There ain't no one, absolutely no one, can see Sir Giles.

Now off you go. Off you go.

Away with you.

La la la la

Roodle-do doodle

La-loo la la la

Excuse me, sir. I've come to...

You fight wicked dragons from 9:00 until 1:00

Yo ho

Sir Giles, I presume?

Come, come, come, come, lad.

Stop mumbling.

I came to talk about the dragon.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Another tale of woe and misery, I suppose.

Devoured your flocks, no doubt.

- Oh, no, sir. He... - Ah-ha!

Made off with your loving parents, has he?

They shall be avenged.

You don't understand.

What?

Don't tell me he's kidnapped some fair damsel...

With flaxen hair and ruby lips and form divine.

Why, he can't do that to her.

He shall pay dearly on the field of battle.

But that's just it. He won't fight.

Yes, he...

He won't fight?

Preposterous.

The fellow must be an infernal cad.

Bit of a rougher, what?

He is not.

He's a nice old dragon who likes to write poetry.

Poetry?

Yes, you know, verses.

Oh, jolly.

I'm a bit of a bard myself,

you know.

You a poet, too?

Yes, no doubt you've heard

of my Ode to a Fleecy Cloud.

Well, I...

Oh, fleecy cloud. Oh, cloud of fleece,

up in the sky so high.

Oh. Oh, my.

Oh, my.

But come, come.

Let's not dillydally.

We must meet this fine fellow at once.

Then you'll explain to the dragon about the fight?

Yes, quite, quite, quite. Of course. Of course. Of course.

Quite, quite, quite, quite.

I'm the reluctant dragon

What ho, quite so

The very reluctant dragon

Oh, very, very, don't you know

They call me the timid dragon

What rot, I'm not

I just won't fight and rather play

I know I shan't get hurt that way

Hello, dragon.

Oh, hello, boy.

I'm having a picnic.

I brought a friend to explain about...

Well, splendid. The more the merrier.

Now, boy, you sit here, and your friend can sit there.

Thank you.

Let's see now, pickles, jam, muffins, tea.

Oh, yes.

Here, do have a jam sandwich, sir.

- Uh, Sir... Uh... - Oh.

What did you say your friend's name was?

Oh, that's Sir Giles.

Sir Giles! Well.

Yes, you know, the dragon killer.

Oh!

Psst, Sir Giles.

You better tell the dragon quick.

Oh, yes, of course.

You know...

I've been looking forward to meeting you.

The boy here tells me you're quite an accomplished poet.

Oh, he did, really?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And if it's not too much bother,

I'd be pleased to hear you recite.

Oh, my dear, dear, fellow, no bother. No bother at all.

Would you care for a sandwich?

Oh, yes, jam.

Here, do have another sandwich,

a piece of cake, and a crumpet, and an olive, and a spot of tea.

Thank you.

This.

This is called To an Upside Down Cake.

Ahem, ahem.

Sweet little upside down cake,

cares and woes, you've got 'em.

Poor little upside down cake...

Your top is on your bottom.

Alas, little upside down cake,

your troubles never stop,

because, little upside down cake...

Your bottom's on your top.

Bravo. How interesting. So good.

Now, Sir Giles. Tell the dragon now.

Oh, yes. Of course, yes.

You know I'm a bit of a bard myself.

Really? Oh, how nice.

Yes, yes, yes, oh, quite.

Radish so red, radish so red.

Plucked from the heart of your warm little bed.

Sprinkled with salt

on the top of your head.

Delicious.

Oh, that's exquisite. Simply exquisite.

Yes, of course. Quite right.

Do you mind if I recite a poem?

You, boy? What... What...

Oh, not at all.

Of course, of course. Rather, rather.

'Tis evening.

From the stars above,

a soft, mysterious light

brings thoughts of friendship,

joy, and love.

Now how 'bout that fight?

- Oh! - Splendid, quite.

Fight? Fight!

There's nothing to fight about.

Besides, I don't believe in it.

But dragons and knights always fight.

That's right, by Jove.

You can't disappoint the whole village.

- Not cricket, you know. - Please!

I... I do not wish to discuss it further.

I refuse to listen.

I absolutely will not fight.

Good night.

You know, it's a shame.

He doesn't seem right.

This is really a beautiful spot.

- For a fight. - Yes, quite right.

Why, I can almost see it. The flags are waving.

The people are cheering.

- Bands are playing. - The dragon appears.

What a beautiful sight.

With his scales all agleam

in the dawn's early light.

Oh, you're just flattering me.

No, no, fellow. It's true.

That beautiful damsel throws flowers at you.

- At me? - At you.

I rap and I roar. I cut quite a figure.

Sir Giles has a spear, just like this, only bigger.

I get set for the charge, and...

Did you say spear?

Yes, spear.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

No, I'll get hurt. I won't do it.

Good day.

Just a second, old chap.

We might fix it this way.

You mean...

Oh.

Quite so.

But are you sure it's quite honest?

Just a second, we'll look.

Nothing against it here in the book.

No!

Nothing against it here in the book.

If it looks like a battle, I'm sure it's all right.

Very well then. It's settled. Tomorrow we fight.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

There's going to be a fight There's going to be a fight

A fight?

Boy! Sir Giles!

Wait a minute. Oh, wait, please!

Oh, why don't I keep my big mouth shut?

So the next day,

the villagers gathered to see the valiant knight

engage the bloodthirsty dragon

in a battle to the, uh, finish.

I'm giving 20 to 1 odds on Giles.

All right, little lady. Two bits on the dragon.

Smart one.

Balloons. Buy the little ones a balloon.

They're amusing, inexpensive.

A nice side seat in a nice side spot.

Here now, mind your step, lady. Mind your step.

Look, the dragon ain't got a chance.

Aye, he'll do the dragon in.

Hooray, Sir Giles!

It's no use.

You might as well tell the people to go away.

I can't do it.

Oh, but try again.

You've got to be mad to breathe fire,

and I'm not mad at anybody.

But try real hard.

Concentrate.

Not very good, is it?

Nope.

Too bad you're not a real dragon instead of a punk poet.

Punk poet!

Oh, say that again.

- Punk poet. - Again!

- Punk poet. - Again!

- Punk poet. - Whoo! Whoo!

I'm mad! I'm mad!

Punk poet, punk poet, punk poet.

Ooh, I'm mad! I'm mad!

By Jove.

Boo.

Boo

Boo

Boo, boo, boo, boo

Boo

Hooray for the dragon!

Dragon!

Dragon?

Extraordinary.

Fighter's disappeared.

Yoo-hoo! Here I am!

Oh, so you are.

Am I doing all right?

I say, old boy.

Stop acting this silly, will you?

Oh!

Ahh! Help! Oh, oh, no.

Help! Call help!

It's horrible, ain't it?

Oh! Oh, no! Help! Help!

Help me! One lump or two?

Help! Oh!

Don't mind if I do. Hey, you bugger!

Help! Help!

Now I'll chase you.

Help! Oh!

Oh, no, no, no.

Help! Oh!

Hey, Sir Giles!

Egad.

Hooray for the knight! Hooray!

Hooray for the dragon! Hooray!

Hooray for the knight!

Hooray for the dragon!

Hooray for the knight! Hooray for the dragon!

Hooray for the knight! Hooray for the dragon!

Knight! Dragon!

Knight! Dragon!

- Help! - Take that!

- Cut it out! - Oh, ouch!

Ow! Oh!

Take that!

Play the game!

The time has come, you know?

You mean I die now?

Oh, yes, indeed.

As per agreed,

we'll seal our pact, okay?

Take that!

Ahh!

Hooray for Sir Giles!

And so as per agreed,

Sir Giles completely reformed this ferocious dragon,

whereupon the satisfied villagers

welcomed him into society.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

I promise not to rant and roar.

And scourge the countryside anymore.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

So while you were shilly-shallying, they made the picture?

I never knew it to fail.

In all the years I've known you, you've always been too late.

Really, Robert, I can't understand

why you're forever letting these opportunities

slip through your fingers.

Anyone else would have thought of it in time,

months ago.

But you... Ha!

Well, why don't you say something?

Aw, phooey!

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, phooey!