Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,298
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,175
_
3
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:22,606
Maybe 43 is the year
I change my hairstyle.
4
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,901
No, I don't have that kind of courage.
5
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,449
Breakfast me now.
6
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,618
I want to escape before the
hormone twins come down.
7
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,120
Bart and Lisa are teenagers now,
8
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,706
and they've got a lot
of confusing feelings.
9
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:43,544
Feelings I can handle. It's the sounds
and the smells that are breaking me.
10
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,629
How's the wedding speech coming?
11
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,174
Stupid Flanders never should
have asked me to be his best man.
12
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,469
Do you think this joke is too mean?
13
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,762
Yes!
14
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,722
Then it's going in.
15
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,684
Good morning. How'd you sleep?
16
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,438
None of my clothes fit,
and I'm breaking out.
17
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,107
I am not going to school.
18
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,652
You're in eighth grade. If your face
was normal, you'd stand out.
19
00:01:10,892 --> 00:01:14,616
Honey, the changes we
go through as women are beautiful
20
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:19,871
and should be celebrated with joy
and gratitude as the gifts they are.
21
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,665
You're delusional.
22
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,458
More food. Where is?
23
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:27,713
I just went shopping yesterday.
I can't keep up with your appetite.
24
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,590
There's chili in the earthquake kit.
25
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:37,681
Let me.
Happy to help, little big brother.
26
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,355
- I'm driving to school today.
- Mmm?
27
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,525
How am I gonna learn not to kill
people if you don't let me practice?
28
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:54,448
Maggie, Maggie, rest your voice. You're
still getting over that laryngitis.
29
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,410
Please. Don't let Bart drive.
It's too scary.
30
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,579
He drives so wiggly and
everybody honks at us
31
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,748
and yells bad words
and shows us fingers!
32
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,003
♪ And while she lay there sleeping ♪
33
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,047
♪ I read the paper in bed ♪
34
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,549
Lisa, we used to love this song.
35
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:16,136
We'd dance around and have
the best time. Remember?
36
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:19,139
Remember, remember, remember, remember?
37
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,641
♪ If you like piña col... ♪
38
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:21,767
Mom, no.
39
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:26,063
Why'd you volunteer me to perform
at Mr. Flanders's wedding?
40
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,815
Why would I ever want to do that? Why?
41
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,610
Well, your father's the best man,
42
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:35,155
Bart's the videographer,
and Maggie's the flower girl.
43
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,241
Besides, you used to love performing.
44
00:02:38,945 --> 00:02:42,412
Oh, you were so sweet and confident.
45
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,832
I did, and I was,
but I'm not, so I won't.
46
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:49,878
I do not want a thousand
eyeballs staring at me.
47
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,422
Lisa, wait. I forgot to give you this
48
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,592
in case you get your first... period.
49
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,386
Eyeballs.
50
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:01,932
- _
- Oh.
51
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,975
It'll be nice to spend time with people
52
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:07,104
whose hormones aren't
completely wackadoodle.
53
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,524
Wackadoodle.
My hormones are wackadoodle.
54
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:15,779
As our last eggs circle the drain,
let's raise a glass to the big change.
55
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,366
Menopause?
Aren't we all a little young for that?
56
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,702
Perimenopause, Marge.
57
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:26,164
The coming attractions before the
horror movie that is the big M.
58
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:29,793
Don't tell me you haven't had any
of the symptoms. Hot flashes...
59
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,961
Mood swings.
60
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:35,757
You know, I wake up at exactly
3:17 every night. Why 3:17?
61
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:36,842
I know.
62
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,594
And then I can't help but
compulsively rearrange the furniture.
63
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,305
You know, last night,
I created a workstation for the dog.
64
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,225
If we can't turn these
middle-aged frowns upside down,
65
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,978
let's fill them in with
a syringe full of youth.
66
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,985
Heroin. I've heard it's amazing,
but I'm not sure it's for me.
67
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,903
They're facial fillers, Marge.
68
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,823
Use these to mark the parts
of your face you hate.
69
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,159
Black don't crack,
but it sure can droop.
70
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,871
I just don't think our faces
are something we need to fix.
71
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,623
Let's celebrate the
wisdom and achievements
72
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,084
that are the story our wrinkles tell.
73
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,964
I'll see myself out.
74
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,284
Mmm?
75
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,331
Homer. Homer, wake up.
76
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,335
"Hamnesia" is
when you can't remember ham!
77
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:57,297
This graphic novel Bart's been
reading is practically a tingle book.
78
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,801
Is it normal for a boy to look
at bunnies with big boobs?
79
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,970
Little boys will stare at a
rock if it's got big boobs.
80
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,056
Ooh. Look, a rock with big boobs.
81
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,184
Why would a lady
robot need to wear a skirt?
82
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,144
And does it have to be so short?
83
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:14,606
Oh, honey, in the grand scheme of
things this is pretty innocent.
84
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:20,320
He could be online watching
live-action romance content.
85
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,573
Shut your muzzle mouth!
86
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,284
Sorry. I don't know
what's wrong with me.
87
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,287
My emotions are suddenly all haywire.
88
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,834
Sounds like it's probably nothing.
89
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,546
Top of the morning, best man-arino.
90
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,841
Hey, Homer. How's the speech coming?
91
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,133
Really great, Pam.
92
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,678
But if you have any
embarrassing Flanders stories
93
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:48,890
to make this savage takedown
even more brutal, I'm all ears.
94
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,854
Well, the best story is how
he saved my life when I choked
95
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,189
on a baby in a king
cake during Mardi Gras.
96
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:59,150
Choke play at cake party. Perfect.
97
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,318
He sure is.
98
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,364
Stupid happy, future Flanders.
99
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,122
My wife is where? I'm on my way!
100
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:18,545
Honey, the manager says you've been
in the freezer for a half hour.
101
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:22,424
I'm burning up.
I think it's my first hot flash.
102
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,927
Insomnia, the compulsive redecorating.
103
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,179
I think it's perimenopause.
104
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,141
Homer, I'm old.
105
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,603
Wow. Say something perfect.
106
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:35,687
High five?
107
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,904
Can't sleep anymore.
Can't think straight. Always irritable.
108
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,239
Kitchen couch!
109
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,493
You finally get me.
110
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,874
I'm driving to school today.
111
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:59,461
Got another zit.
I'm going to live under a troll bridge.
112
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,380
I'm a flower girl,
and I want special shoes.
113
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,383
Pink with bows and lights and music.
114
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,386
Everyone shut your breakfast holes!
115
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,930
...run over a bunch of nuns...
116
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:15,226
Homer, your wife is going through
the terrible change of perimeningitis,
117
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,729
so it's down to you to be
the voice of non-crazy.
118
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,941
This is where years of
therapy mumbo jumbo pays off.
119
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,782
- Emotional dysregulation.
- Huh.
120
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,200
- Feelings.
- Oh.
121
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,534
- Validation.
- Oh.
122
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,869
Crystals.
123
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:36,289
And a tiny gong on the bookshelf.
124
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:41,252
I don't know why that worked,
but it kind of did.
125
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,713
Maybe it's just the soothing tone.
126
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,132
That's like half of it, isn't it?
127
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,805
I know this is a long shot, but do you
have these shoes my daughter wants?
128
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,640
Oh. Wow.
129
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,394
Uh. Lady, these shoes don't exist.
130
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:03,441
These Skoochers are a revelation. Skooch
on, skooch off. Skooch on, skooch off.
131
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:12,409
Marge Simpson? My old
crush/obsession/problematic fixation.
132
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,579
Artie, now is not the time to hit on me.
133
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:18,581
Hmm.
134
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,916
Not a problem.
135
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:25,547
For the first time in my life, the sight
of your face has left me un-smitten.
136
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,466
Do I see the flawless young girl
137
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:33,555
whose dental hygienist I bribed
for a Dixie cup of her saliva?
138
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,849
I do not!
139
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,518
Oh. I guess that's a good thing.
140
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,562
I feel nothing, I tell you.
141
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,856
Maybe it's these super cushiony shoes,
142
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:49,195
or maybe it's the teeny-tiny frown
line I detect between your eyes.
143
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,198
But I feel liberated.
144
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,535
Skip with me, salesgirl, skip with me.
145
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,954
Whee! Whee!
146
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:09,549
I'm in. Give me the Botox.
I want everything shiny and plumped.
147
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,844
You'll notice that my face
does not look surprised.
148
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:20,060
I can feel all the character
being erased. I love it.
149
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,479
Mom, what the hell?
150
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,732
What happened to,
"The changes we go through as women
151
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:30,653
are beautiful and should be
celebrated with joy and gratitude"?
152
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,447
How could you understand?
153
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,742
You're young,
and you're chock-full of collagen.
154
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,244
Mother, I am covered in zits.
155
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:42,874
Acne is just a phase.
It's like the story of the ugly duckling.
156
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:46,836
Some ugly ducklings just
grow up to be ugly ducks.
157
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,757
Mom, have you seen my mustache comb?
158
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,677
Don't you take that tone with me,
young lady!
159
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,596
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
160
00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:01,267
What tone did you take when you found
out your mother was a raging hypocrite?
161
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,855
Just because I said one thing and did
the opposite, that makes me a hypocrite?
162
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:10,318
Emotional truths being shared.
For which I am gratitude.
163
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,071
May I trigger you with
some organic matcha?
164
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,700
Why don't we end the session here,
and we'll pick up next time?
165
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,287
Now, let's sort you two out.
166
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,123
Grab some sofa, you guys.
167
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,378
Picking up where we left
off last week...
168
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,588
Snowball, you were upset
169
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,174
that Santa's Little Helper
gave you an ultimatum.
170
00:10:36,091 --> 00:10:37,762
I found something.
171
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,890
- More manga?
- No, this.
172
00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:44,144
Adult live-action romance content.
173
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,813
Our son is ruined. Childhood over.
174
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,022
Innocence gone.
175
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:53,570
He's going to grow up to be an incel
or a sexist jerk or a manosphere guru.
176
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,657
I'm sorry the world is a horrible,
ugly place
177
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,576
in which no child should grow up.
178
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:03,079
But I promise when Bart
finally likes a real girl,
179
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:08,751
he'll be just as nervous and sweet and
respectful as I was when I met you.
180
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,962
What do we do? What do we do?
181
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:14,799
Pretending it's not happening has
worked for generations of parents.
182
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,056
I'm confiscating every
screen in this house.
183
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,017
No more Internet for you.
184
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,852
What? Why?
185
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,771
You know why.
186
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,232
Okay, bye.
187
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:38,907
Okay, this is handled.
I handled it. Everything's good.
188
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,289
You've gotta help me.
189
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:50,376
I'm a calm, happy person trapped
in the body of a crazy lady.
190
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,544
Oh, I'm sorry.
191
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:55,465
There's just not much research into
health issues that only affect women.
192
00:11:55,548 --> 00:12:00,053
My med school professor called
menopause an esoteric mystery.
193
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,222
There's got to be
something you can give me.
194
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:05,767
Rub this hormone cream on your thighs.
Can't hurt.
195
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,645
Unless... No, no, it can't hurt.
196
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,689
And there is one more
thing I can prescribe.
197
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,944
Sometimes laughter is the best medicine.
198
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:20,990
♪ Good-bye to my purpose ♪
199
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:27,664
♪ Good-bye to my meaning ♪
200
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,502
- So true.
- Funny and brave.
201
00:12:36,615 --> 00:12:38,174
Surprise!
202
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,343
You replaced the fridge?
203
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,263
Is that what we do now
when something gets old?
204
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,515
Just toss it out in the street?
205
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:49,435
It's a smart fridge.
I got it to make your life easier.
206
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,397
The next time the teenage
eating machine cleans us out,
207
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,858
this thing will order groceries
delivered right to our door.
208
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:04,993
Frozen pizza, frozen burritos.
It knows all the crap we eat.
209
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,537
And what's in this bag?
210
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,124
Maggie's impossible-to-find shoes.
211
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,377
I know I haven't been myself lately,
212
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,839
but you've done something
I never expected...
213
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,258
pitched in.
214
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,348
Next time I'll get you a smart stove...
215
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,017
then a smart blender...
216
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,935
to make smart smoothies...
217
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:34,564
out of intelligent bananas.
218
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,150
Oh, Homie.
219
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:43,573
Hey, Homie, seems like nothing's
really happening down there.
220
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:49,370
I didn't even know it couldn't do that.
Well, no need to panic.
221
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:55,772
_
222
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:01,758
Mmm.
223
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,386
Move, people.
We're not losing another erection today.
224
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,722
Fortunately for you, Big Pharma,
225
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:11,017
which is largely run by old
men on their third wives,
226
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,811
has poured billions into ED research.
227
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:19,067
We have a mighty arsenal of
treatment options at our disposal.
228
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,820
Now, Homer, these ED meds will
adversely affect your mood,
229
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,114
causing aggression, irresponsibility,
230
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,743
and a tendency for your mouth to
write checks your ass can't cash.
231
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,871
With all the hormonal changes
going on in the house,
232
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,082
you're the only one
keeping things together.
233
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,084
Maybe we should think about this.
234
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,503
Men's sexual health is
no time for thinking.
235
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,712
Shoot me up, doc.
236
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,464
I already am.
237
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,007
Oh? Mmm.
238
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:47,887
I got the testosterone of a 20-year-old
and the patience of a 12-year-old.
239
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,181
Get the hell off my kitchen couch.
240
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,557
Make me, Jabba the Butt.
241
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,434
Shut up, you little perv.
242
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,977
Homer, calm down.
243
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,687
I medically can't.
244
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,815
Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite.
245
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,399
Get off my couch.
246
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,069
Get your pervy self
and your pervy germs off of it.
247
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,445
- Get off of it...
- Leave me alone.
248
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,907
- ...contaminated with...
- I can't believe anything you say.
249
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,784
Oh, shut up! Ah!
250
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,622
Hurry up and eat
your half-assed breakfasts.
251
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,376
We're not going to be late
for Mr. Flanders's wedding.
252
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:23,756
I cannot perform in front of people
with all this going on.
253
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,176
You look fine. Don't be so dramatic.
254
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,638
Maybe I'd look better
with a face full of Botox.
255
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:35,893
Oh, I am so sorry. I'm struggling to
deal with the humongous life change.
256
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,938
Oh. I handled it just fine.
257
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,648
Handled what?
258
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:43,901
My period. I got it last week.
259
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:49,740
You got your first period,
and you didn't tell me. Why?
260
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,743
Because you make womanhood seem
like the most miserable thing
261
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,704
that could happen to a person.
262
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,789
But don't worry about it.
263
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,917
Coach Krupt was very helpful.
264
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:05,339
Bombardment of feelings.
Bombardment of transitions.
265
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,342
Bombardment of we're all here for you.
266
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:11,888
She didn't tell me.
I'm a failure as a mother.
267
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,685
All right, let's move.
268
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,439
I got a best man speech to crush.
What's the fastest way to the church?
269
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:26,235
I have no idea. Mom confiscated
every screen in the house.
270
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,696
Well, the smart fridge
has Internet access, so...
271
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,615
Let's get to that wedding, people.
Go, go, go.
272
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,617
What did you do, Bart?
273
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,827
Hmm.
274
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,497
Mom, trust me.
You don't want to do this.
275
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:41,718
_
276
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,587
- Bart!
- You dog.
277
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,382
Hyah!
278
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,636
Die, die, die, die!
279
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:56,098
Ooh. Get in the car.
It's time to celebrate love.
280
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,685
Stupid car.
281
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,812
Why won't you start?
282
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:05,399
I don't think either one of you
is in any condition to drive.
283
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,568
I can drive! I can do anything!
284
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,864
- No, not Bart!
- If we die, we die.
285
00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:16,202
Look out for the...
286
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,411
Don't hit the...
287
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,538
Go straight, go straight.
288
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,796
Oh. I forgot my flower basket.
289
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,464
Here, use these.
290
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,097
Aw.
291
00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:38,099
Aw.
292
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,439
I have to give my best man speech,
293
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,734
but I can't focus no matter how
much testosterone I shoot up.
294
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:52,738
Give me some estrogen cream
to balance me out, please.
295
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,366
I'm so mad and sexy.
296
00:17:58,786 --> 00:17:59,870
Mmm.
297
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,420
Well, well, well,
the day has finally come.
298
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:11,632
The long-suffering neighbor
has a chance to even the score.
299
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:14,760
Hope what you're about to hear
doesn't give you second thoughts, Pam.
300
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:15,928
Oh!
301
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:21,142
Whoa! That lady cream works fast.
302
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:27,982
Anyway, I was about to roast this...
this beautiful, wonderful man.
303
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,317
Aw.
304
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,694
He's such a good neighborino.
305
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:37,617
He lets me borrow stuff,
and he loves Jesus so much.
306
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:44,248
And despite all that, he's my
favorite person in the entire world.
307
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,709
Aw!
308
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:02,683
Hi, I'm Bart.
I drove here in a car that I drove.
309
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,770
I'm Carrie. The bride is my sister.
We took a limo.
310
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,147
Wow. You were in a car. I'm in a car...
311
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,651
- Ned, can I borrow Homer?
- Would you, please?
312
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,071
Homer, look.
313
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,949
Bart's talking to a girl,
and he's terrible at it.
314
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,078
He's not an unsalvageable
Internet monster.
315
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:26,374
He's just as sweet and awkward
and clueless as you were.
316
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,126
Chicks are gonna walk all over him.
317
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,212
That's all I want.
318
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,843
Are you sure you don't want to
sit with the unreal housewives?
319
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,183
Honey, I'm sorry I made
womanhood seem so horrible.
320
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:47,478
It's not that bad. You get used to it.
321
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,648
Besides, without it,
I wouldn't be your mom,
322
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,441
so it's pretty great.
323
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:56,529
Anyway, if you don't wanna get
up on stage, you don't have to.
324
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,365
I don't? Oh, thank God.
325
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,619
Ooh. Hot flash coming in like
a locomotive full of soup.
326
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,079
I need my medicine back.
327
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,748
You used it all?
328
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:12,086
I have no memory of the last two hours.
329
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,759
Excuse me, excuse me?
330
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:22,096
Ooh, boy. That's a lot of eyeballs.
331
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:28,936
Uh. Mr. Flanders asked me to perform
the song "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran.
332
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,189
I love that song.
333
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,608
But I'm not gonna do that one.
334
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,737
- Crap.
- This one's for us, Mom.
335
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,906
♪ I was tired of my lady ♪
336
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,784
♪ We'd been together too long ♪
337
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:48,539
A song about having an affair
is a weird choice for a wedding.
338
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,958
I think it's perfect.
339
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,920
♪ So while she lay there sleeping ♪
340
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,174
♪ I read the paper in bed ♪
341
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,552
♪ And in the personal columns ♪
342
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,597
♪ There was this letter I read ♪
343
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,768
♪ If you like piña coladas ♪
344
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,021
♪ And gettin' caught in the rain ♪
345
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,441
♪ If you're not into yoga ♪
346
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,361
♪ If you have half a brain ♪
347
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,212
Shh!
348
00:22:15,269 --> 00:22:18,241
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com27226
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof