Original subtitles

[ footsteps ]

[ clicking ]

[ Man ] There's the elevator, Valerie. Just take it.

[ music ] [ indistinct chattering ]

Louis ? Look, I think your daughter's on TV.

Why did you shoot Andy Warhol ?

Well, it's a very involved, uh-- a lot of very involved reasons.

Read my manifesto. It'll tell you what I am.

Isn't that Valerie ?

[ Man ] At exactly 4:30 P.M. on June 3 at 33 Union Square West,

two males were shot by one female.

One of these males was Andy Warhol.

Jesus Christ. Now she's shot somebody.

I-I always thought Andy was a great artist. He made three films with me.

My most recent role was, uh, in ' I, a Man '

where I lie on the floor naked...

while discussing the philosophy of love.

Uh, perhaps you've--

He go to mass every day, St. Paul's.

[ Woman ] Perhaps we all owe Andy a personal--

[ gasps ]

I am not surprised. Violence today is in the air everywhere.

Andy got hurt in the big game of reality.

You know, the wonderful thing about Andy, of course,

he was life plus, plus, plus.

It's a fascinating thing that he--

You are Valerie Jean Solanas ?

Solanas. That's right.

And where do you live ?

Nowhere.

Where do you come from ?

The river.

[seagulls]

[Children laughing]

Miss Solanas, you don't have to answer any of my questions

if you don't want to. Do you understand that ?

Mm-humm.

Instead of saying 'mm-hmm,' because she has to take it down, on the machine,

could you say either yes or no ?

Yes. - All right. Now...

knowing what your rights are...

knowing that I'd like to ask you a few questions

about what happened yesterday,

do you want to tell me what happened ?

Yes.

You tell me in your own words what happened.

Very simply, I shot him.

Who did you shoot ?

Andy Warhol.

What did you shoot him with ?

A gun.

- That gun ? - Yeah, .32 caliber Beretta.

Why did you want to shoot Andy Warhol ?

Well, that's somethin'-- no, no. That's very involved.

I don't want to get into that right now.

You don't have to get into anything if you don't want to.

Do you know on what part of his body you shot him ?

Well, according to the papers, it was a chest wound.

And nat-naturally, I was--

I was sort of like, to the side.

And-and I thought that I was shootin' from like here.

What did you need the ice pick for ?

Oh, I actually been carryin' that on me for several days

and I didn't intend to use that.

I brought it with me.

I'd been carryin' all my things in a bag, including the ice pick,

which I'd forgotten.

Why did you want to shoot Andy Warhol ?

I told you.

I don't want to get into that right now.

[ seagulls ]

[ Woman ] The patient is a 28-year-old single woman

who was admitted to this hospital on June fifth.

She was born and raised in Atlantic city, New Jersey.

She describes a rather pitiful childhood, including parental conflict,

sexual molestation by her father and separation from her home.

By the age of 13, she had many sexual experiences.

It was about this time, her mother remarried for the second time.

At age 14, she was sent to boarding school

where she stayed for about 2 years.

It was here that she had her first homosexual experiences.

At age 16, she returned home.

Her schoolwork improved

and it was noted that she seemed to possess

exceptional intellectual ability.

- - Over here, Val. - This way. Right here.

- Where'd you get the gun ? - In Vermont.

Is it true you were an actress in Warhol's movies ?

Yeah, but I'm really a writer.

Would you consider this a-a political assassination ?

No. - What'd you write ?

' SCUM Manifesto.'

Oh yeah ? Are you a member of some revolutionary organization ?

- Yeah, my own. - Why did you shoot Andy Warhol ?

Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of very involved reasons.

Read my manifesto. It'll tell you what I am.

[ Man ] Do you have copies of any of the school reports ?

I have this.

In 1954,

her high school principal wrote a letter on her behalf.

"I understand that Valerie Solanas needs a letter of recommendation."

[Man] Valerie, you got a boyfriend ?

[ Man ] "She's proved to be an exceptionally bright girl

with lots of courage and determination."

So, do you consider yourself a revolutionary ?

[ Man ] "Valerie's a highly responsible and dependable person,

"well suited to the study of psychology at university level.

"She possesses much initiative

and always meets her obstacles by setting new goals."

[ Valerie] "The male is a biological accident.

"The "Y" male gene, is an incomplete "X",

or female gene.

"It has an incomplete set of chromosomes.

"It's now technically possible to reproduce without the aid of males

"and to produce only females.

We must begin immediately to do so."

On the subject of student vandalism,

I've been told that 100 ashtrays have been taken

from the Student Union following its opening.

After the pep rally on Saturday, someone unscrewed all the mirrors

in the men's room and would have taken the mirrors

had they not been glued to the wall.

Getting this ? - [ Woman ] All right.

Last year one or two students delighted in breaking--

[ Woman ] I like that quote. On second thought--

Hey, listen to this.

It's from the head of Sigma Delta Chi.

"Dear editor:

"Is a corsage appropriate only at class formals,

"or should one be worn at more casual affairs ?

"I think it would be helpful to all students

"if the university adopted a definite policy

on the corsage issue."

An earth-shattering dilemma.

Yeah, it is a tricky one.

Do you want to answer it ? - Yeah.

Yeah, okay. I got it.

[ Jean ] Thanks for doing this with me, Val.

Now, remember, say the first thing that comes into your mind.

Lamp. - Shade.

Hat. - Cap.

Mountain. - Hill.

Suicide. - Kill.

Black. - White.

Cat. - Mouse.

God. - Atheist.

Man. - Woman.

Love. - Hate.

Boyfriend. - Girlfriend.

You know, I think we should end there because

Bill's comin' to pick me up.

Maybe we'll do it another time. - Yeah.

Jean, you led me on ! Jean !

- I don't know what you're talking about. - Yes, you know !

You're a fucking liar ! - Valerie !

Miss Solanas entered the University of Maryland

in 1954,

and completely supported herself during the next four years,

during which time she earned "A"s in her major of psychology.

During the summers of her third and fourth college years,

she made money by prostitution,

while living a homosexual life for enjoyment.

She tells us for the last five years

she knocked around

and lived with several men, none of whom she liked.

For many years, the patient has been

developing an interest in the natural superiority

of women over men.

Within the past three to four years, she decided

to put her thoughts on paper.

" 'Life' in this 'society' being, at best an utter bore

"and no aspect of 'society' being at all relevant to women,

"there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females

"only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system,

institute complete automation and eliminate the male sex."

I have two dollars and six cents. Man, I'm so bored with turning tricks.

I hate money. Why do we have to need money ?

I need money so I can get a room somewhere.

I'm sick of sleepin' on roofs.

Come on, let me just stay with you, Stevie.

Hey, Sheila, how ya doin', sweetheart ?

Are you kidding ? My girlfriend would kill you !

Yeah, I know.

God, the shit we have to go through just to survive.

- Oh. - Jimmy ! Hey !

Jimmy, this is Valerie. Valerie, Jimmy. - Hey.

I'm called Candy now.

You-you're a guy ?

My God, I thought you were lesbian.

Oh, thank you. A lot of people say that.

May I have a cigarette ? - Yeah.

So, you live around here ? - Who lives ?

Natalie Wood, 'Rebel Without a Cause'.

I need a room.

Try the Hotel Earle.

Comfort and convenience for the modern girl.

Hey, I thought I told you no more visitors !

Edna, darling, you're divine.

Oh, my God ! Look at you !

You make me sick ! I'm throwing up !

I'm coming after you. You hear me ?

Here I come, ready or not.

Aren't you gonna run after us ?

That's a terrible thing to say !

Honey, it's a terrible world.

[ ♪ lead-in to Dionne Warwick singing "Walk On By" ]

♪ If you see me walkin' down the street ♪

♪ And I start to cry each time we meet ♪

♪ Walk on by ♪

♪ Walk on by ♪ - Dear Diary:

I try to get what I want whenever it's possible.

I've always found that socially unacceptable people

make the best lovers because they're more sensitive.

I can be happy and fulfilled.

I will never doubt it.

I cannot afford to.

Each thought,

each movement tuned to some great moving force.

♪ Walk on by ♪

Love, Candy. ♪ I just can't get over losin' you ♪

♪ And so if I seem ♪

♪ Broken in two ♪

♪ Walk on by ♪

♪ Walk on by ♪

[Valerie] A Young Girl's Primer or...

How to Attain the Leisure Class.

By Valerie Solanas.

"Being fresh out of college,

"I found myself in the typically feminine dilemma

"of carvin' out for myself in a male world,

"a way of life appropriate--

"appropriate...

"to a young woman of taste,

"cultivation and sensitivity.

"There must be nothin' crass, like work;

"however, a girl must survive.

"So after a cool appraisal of the social scene,

I finally hit upon an excellent paying occupation."

Pardon me, sir. Pardon me ?

Pardon me, sir, you got fifteen cents ?

Pardon me, sir, you got fifteen cents ?

Pardon me, sir, you got fifteen cents ? No, you don't.

Oh, pardon me, sir, you got fifteen cents ? - No.

You got a dime ? - No. How 'bout a nickel ? - No.

Dollar bill ? - Here. Here's a quarter.

Oh. Oh, great.

Hey, Val, you got a dime ? - Beat it, you chiseling, little bastard.

Not you. Not you.

Pardon me, sir, you got fifteen cents ?

You got two hundred dollars ?

"Yeah, this job...

"offers broad opportunities for travel

"around and around the block.

"And to think,

some girls settle for Europe."

[ indistinct chattering ]

I just think we need to get rid of the whole--the whole government,

the whole stinkin' system.

[ Stevie ] What-what system ?

How are you gonna get rid of the whole government ?

I don't know yet.

All I know is I want a piece of the groovy world myself.

Well, everyone wants a piece of the groovy world.

You just relax. You take your shots as they come.

I'm impatient.

I mean, I'm not gonna be around a hundred years from now.

[ ♪ Jukebox: Chris Montez singing 'The More I See You' ]

♪ The more I see you ♪

♪ The more I want you ♪

- Don't pay any attention. It only encourages her.

Go away. ♪ Just grows and grows ♪

Yeah.

Females should just be runnin' the whole show.

You know, I mean, bein' that males are biologically inferior. Right ?

All right. I won't even talk about it.

No, you can talk about it.

- Forget it. - Go ahead and talk about it !

- Hey, girls, get a room ! - How rude!

I just wish I had some fucking low-down chick, you know,

just to be with.

- So why don't you ? - I don't know. It's just not happening.

But I'm still lookin'. I'm still lookin'.

I'm lookin'.

"The male tries to convince himself and women

"that the female function is to bear and raise children,

"soothe, relax and boost the male ego.

"When in actual fact, the female function

"is to groove, relate, love, be herself,

"discover, explore, invent,

"solve problems, crack jokes, make music, all with love.

In other words, create a magic world."

Thank you.

Is this the new one ? - Yep.

Thank you.

Hey, pardon me, sir, you got fifteen cents ?

I have a lot more than fifteen cents.

Oh, swingin'. Then you can buy me dinner.

Are you a lesbian ?

Yeah.

Tell me, what do you lesbians do ?

- You wanna find out ? - Yeah.

For-for 25 bucks a piece,

I think I can arrange it. Tits only.

Oh ! [ moaning ]

Oh, yes ! Ooo, yes !

Oh, God, yes ! Ooo, yeah !

Ooo, God ! - It's so good !

[ exclaiming ]

[ Valerie ] "Although completely physical,

"the male is unfit even for stud service.

"Even assuming mechanical proficiency,

"which few men have,

"he is, first of all, incapable of zestfully, lustfully tearing off a piece.

To call a man an animal is to flatter him. He's a machine, a walkin' dildo."

You diseased blob. You worm.

You fink, walkin' piece of slop.

You wanna be whipped ? All right.

I'll whip ya.

"Eaten up with guilt, fear, shame and other insecurities,

"and obtaining, if he's lucky,

"a barely perceptible physical feeling,

"the male is, nonetheless, obsessed with screwing.

"He'll swim a river of snot,

"wade nostril-deep through a mile of vomit,

"if there's a friendly pussy awaitin' him.

"He'll screw a woman he despises,

"any snaggletoothed hag.

And furthermore, he'll pay for the opportunity."

[ door opens ]

[ door closes ]

[ indistinct voice ]

[ Man ] Yeah, I was just worried that it might not come out,

that it might not look good because it-it's so dark.

- Right.

[ Woman moaning ]

[ Man] Well, it's really not supposed to look good, you know ?

It's supposed to look real. - Oh, yeah.

[ moaning continues ]

[ Man ] Well, what if we tried - Shut up. it with more light and then--

Then you'd have the choice, you know, an option ?

Why don't I just run and get-- - We can try again.

I'll just run and go get some...

just in case that you need them.

What is this ?

Oh, we're makin' a movie.

Oh!

Be careful, huh ? - Oh.

You'll get burned, honey.

W-what kind of movie are you making ?

It's an Andy Warhol production.

Oh. Where is he ?

He's not here today.

[ typewriter keys clacking ]

[ continues typing ]

"I dedicate this play... to me.

[ typing continues ]

"A continuous source of strength and guidance...

"and without whose unflinching loyalty and devotion and faith,

"this play would never've been written.

"I dedicate this play... To myself.

"For proofreading, editorial comment, helpful hints,

"criticism and suggestions and an exquisite job of typin'.

"And finally, I dedicate this play to I...

for independent research into men,

married women and other degenerates."

[ typing ]

Last night I was at Max's Kansas City.

That's the chic hangout for the jet set of the world.

Roger Vadim was there with Jane Fonda.

Andy Warhol was there too.

Who's that ?

How do I look ?

Revlon... Natural Wonder Eye Shadow.

As I was saying, Andy Warhol was there.

He's a very famous artist.

Yeah, I know who he is.

I'm writin' a play and I want him to produce it.

Well, Andy just makes movies now.

I did my Kim novak for him, and he was very impressed.

He invited me up to his studio. It's called 'The Factory'.

It's where the 'in' crowd go when they're not at Max's Kansas City.

If anyone can make you a star, Andy can.

Great. I'll go with you.

Valerie, the invitation was to me alone.

I won't get in your way.

I gotta meet him. I wanna show him my play.

♪ [ Caro Nome from Rigoletto ]

[ phone ringing ]

[ Man ] Factory. Hello ?

Where the hell have you been ?

Um, Drella told me they delivered a camera

and there was no one here to receive it.

Oh, you're having a nervous breakdown.

Well, what a relief. What a refreshing change.

No, I know. It's early.

No, I suppose 3:00 P.M. is early... for some.

Look, if you're too fragile and sensitive to get out of bed and come down here,

well, you certainly weren't too fragile to stay out all night

popping pills or shooting up drugs

or whatever it is you do 'till six in the morning.

♪ [ Caro Nome continues ]

♪ [ Caro Nome continues ]

[ Ondine ] Danny, that-- that can is spilling there, right behind you.

Grab it quickly. Quickly!

You see it ? No, to the r-- there you are.

You see him winking at me ?

That's a very nice aperture you've got there, dear.

Tell me, dear, who are you dating these days ?

What's his name ?

What's her name. - Her name ?

Listen, Danny, why don't you get these fucking girls

from around your knees ?

The streets are just full of eligible men.

Don't you-- don't you want to be a woman ?

No. - No ?

Not really.

Well, then you'll never know what it means to be all woman, will you ?

Become all woman; therefore, all man.

Now, the first thing you need to know

is how to eat an asshole. I will show you.

Number one, you must be choose-- oh, dear.

Shit ! Andy's gonna kill me !

Don't worry. He took his mother to church. He won't be back for hours.

Well, My velvet dress is ruined. [ Man ] You boys are very messy today.

After all the hours I spent on airplanes sewing that lining,

someone dropped a lighted match on it and I didn't even notice

until the whole thing was burned up.

I was so tired, and I took two midols and a muscle relaxant.

And, I drank a little wine that I made myself last Easter.

He's not here. - Yeah, I know.

♪ [ Caro Nome ends ]

Excuse me, miss, could I borrow, ah, ten cents ?

Excuse me, sir, uh, could I interest you in a dirty word ?

Fifteen cents. Any dirty word you want. No ? No?

Get lost.

How 'bout you ? Fifteen cents ? Any dirty word you want ? No ?

Pardon me, sir, can I interest you in a dirty word ?

I got a corner on the market.

Excuse me ? - Yeah, give me fifteen cents.

I'll give you a dirty word.

What's the word ? - Men.

How 'bout another ? - Hey, why-why do you pick on me ?

Do I look like a tourist ?

No, you look like a connoisseur of conversation.

How 'bout it ? One hour, any subject you want.

- An hour's worth of what ? - Conversation.

You have an original approach to earning a living.

Yeah, I know. So, come on. How 'bout it ? How 'bout it ?

I'm very busy.

Oh, come on. One hour. Any subject you want. Six dollars.

A dollar for fifteen minutes. - Three dollars for thirty.

Very well. - Alright !

Want to have a drink with me ? - Yeah. Enchanted, I'm sure.

And a stimulating conversation ? - As long as you're paying.

Yes.

So, what d'you want to talk about ?

You want to bullshit ? Let's bullshit.

Let's talk about you.

What do you do all day ?

Yeah, I walk around the block a few times, shoot the shit,

turn a few tricks.

- Tricks ? - Yeah. Johns, sex, money. Sex for money.

Mmm.

Are you happy doing that ?

Well, I meet a lot of fascinating people.

Like, just the other day, I was down on my usual corner

sneakin' a free skim through the magazines

When this old guy comes up to me and he asks me a question.

Tell me. What do you do when you see a bug ?

I step on it. - You like to step on bugs ?

Gets my rocks off every time.

Really ? Do you like to hear 'em crunch ?

Yeah !

I like you. Yes ! I like you very much.

Do you always wear tennis shoes ?

Not when I'm in bed.

Do you ever wear spiked heels, or cowboy boots, or maybe even--

Now, what could he be gettin' at ?

Oh, no, I thought. It's-it's too much to hope for.

And then he says--

- Golf shoes ? - Only in bed.

You do have a flair for livin' !

Ooo. Golf shoes, I presume. - Only this one.

The rest are stiletto heels.

Exquisite mosaic.

You know a place maybe where we could go ?

Yeah, yeah. I know a vestibule.

Private ? - Yeah, he said he wanted to make it with me,

after he bought me the proper shoes, of course.

So you did well ?

Well, yeah. I've got a real flair for chest steppin'.

He gave me 20 bucks.

After that, I knock off for a couple days and write.

I'm really a writer. Here.

Yeah, I just ah, finished my first play based on

Some of my more enthralling encounters with the male species.

It's called 'Up Your Ass'.

'Up Your Ass' ?

So you're a writer ?

How interesting. I'm a publisher.

You're kidding ? - No, really.

We have much more in common than you think.

You turn tricks for money. I sell dirty books.

And like you, I'm not ashamed.

I also publish great works of art.

I own the Olympia press.

I've published many famous writers,

and my books are known all over the world

Like Naked Lunch, Lolita, all the work of Jean Genet.

Here. Take my card.

"Maurice Girodias." Huh.

"Olympia Press." It's true.

It's quite legitimate.

You know what ? You're wasting your talents on the street, Valerie.

You should write a novel.

You should write a novel for me.

Here.

Take one of our books, compliments of Olympia Press,

New York operation.

Can I make money out of this ? - Of course.

I pay as much as two thousand for an advance.

Maybe you'll write a best-seller,

then you'll never have to work again.

Oh, that'd be great!

I'm quite serious.

I'm interested in you.

After all, I specialize in the subversive.

Here we go.

Why don't you make it four ? We had a good half hour.

No. Twenty-eight minutes. - All right.

Hey, you don't budge.

You can always reach me next door

at the Chelsea Hotel.

Chelsea ?

I'll be callin'.

Yeah.

Oh, um, Gerard, uh, um-- w-what are you doing ?

I'm just dropping the a-- - Yeah, I know what--

Is this not right ? - No, no. Yeah. W-with the triangles, you know.

Oh, I see. - Yeah. Danny knows.

Yeah, ask Danny. He does it better. I-- he'll show you.

Them TV people are here. - Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

We should-- you know, we should go-- we should go, uh--

Where are they from ? - Yeah, I don't know, I th-- I don't know.

- Let me know if s--

Yeah, we should go talk to them. Yeah. - Absolutely.

Looks good. - She's beautiful.

Oh, this looks good.

Andy, look at how beautiful she is.

Oh, yeah. Isn't she gorgeous ? - Yeah.

She looks just like Maria Callas. - Absolutely.

You think so ? - Yeah, she does. God, to a " T ".

Hi, hi. I'm Gerard Malanga. - Hi, I'm Laura.

Nice to meet you. This is Andy. - Hi. Hi. - Yeah.

It's a pleasure to meet you. - We were just saying that, uh, that, uh,

[ phone ringing ] that she looks just like Maria Callas.

Hello ? Factory. I'm sorry. Andy's not in right now.

Can you tell me what it's about ?

Well, you know, Andy doesn't do theater.

Well, I'm sure it'll make a very interesting movie.

What's it called ?

Yeah. Well, it's 'Up Your Ass' for now, but I have other titles.

It's about how sleazy and disgustin' men are. It's a comedy.

At the end, the mother kills her son.

Oh! Sounds neat.

Get off the goddamn phone ! - What ?

Come on, you whore ! - What ? - Fuck off now !

Where's my rent ? - I'm sick of it ! You fuck off too ! Come on you--!

Can you just drop it in the mail ? - [ yelling ]

I'll bring it over now ! - Where's my rent ? Listen !

I'm fuckin' sick of you, you gimp !

In that case, why are you spending so much of your time

making these underground films ?

Oh, uh, they're-- they're easier than making paintings.

Do you think painting is dead ?

Uh, no.

Well, do you think that the cinema has more relevance ?

Uh, no.

Do you think that Pop Art has become repetitive ?

Uh, yes. - Okay.

And which of the modern painters do you find most significant ?

Oh, I like all of them.

Well, thank you, Andy. That was wonderful.

It was a pleasure. [ indistinct ]

Are you Valerie ? - Yeah, no. I'm the writer, yeah.

There's a very important TV interview going on now.

Oh, great, great. Can I watch ?

No visitors today, but just leave me the script.

I'll make sure Andy gets it. - No, no, no, no.

I gotta give it to him personally. - Andy's a very busy man.

No, I really want to give it to him personally. Yeah.

No, I'm sorry. - All right.

Look, I only have one other copy. All right ?

If anything happens to this, there's gonna be trouble.

Yes ? - Yes. All right, You promise ?

Yes, I promise. - You promise ? - I promise.

All right. Just give--

All right. Goodbye. - Bye.

' Up Your Ass ' by Valerie Solanas.

"Time: the present afternoon.

"Place, a large, American city, the sidewalk.

"Bongi Perez.

"She is loitering outside the steps of the building where she lives.

A broad passes by."

Hello, beautiful.... Stuck up, bitch.

Oh, aren't we the high-class ass.

What do you got ? A twat by Dior ?

Say, Miss,

have you by any chance seen a turd around here ?

Well, what does this turd look like ? Is it blue ?

- Uh, no, no. - Is it-- is it green ? - No, no, no.

Is it red ? - No, no, no, it's a little yellow turdlet.

Well-- - "Not to be nosey"-- - I know. I know. Not to be nosey.

Not to be nosey, but does this turd have sentimental value ?

Oh, don't be absurd.

It's for dinner.

Oh. Well, what's it doing rollin' around out here ?

Uh--

"I took it out to have it dyed yellow."

Oh, I-I-- I took it out

to have it dyed yellow.

It must've dropped out of my bag on the way in.

"Do you often serve turd for dinner ?"

"You're really too much.

Would you want to be eating turds all the time ?"

This is really sick.

"You do have a point there." - [ Candy ] I'm having company tonight.

I'm having these two really dynamic,

fascinating men over for dinner,

and I want to make the best possible impression.

"So you are serving them a turd."

Oh, you're impossible. I can assure you,

I have no intentions whatsoever of serving my guests a turd.

The turd is for me.

"Everybody knows that men have much more respect for women...

who are good at lapping up shit."

Say, would you like to join us for dinner ?

Cut !

You're in a restaurant, not on Broadway.

- Order somethin' or get out ! - Oh, come on. - Eh!

And stop blockin' the exits.

[ Andy ] What do you-- what do you-- you know, what do you think ?

- Oh, this is kinda fun. - Yeah. - Oh no it's not! - [ sigh ]

In fact, it's way too disgusting, even for us.

[ Andy ] Whoa !

Well, I thought we could use some of the dialogue at least.

[ Exhales ]

Brigid didn't like it.

[ typewriter clacking ]

"Presentation of the rationale

"and program of action of SCUM, 'Society for Cuttin' Up Men'.

"Unhampered by propriety,

"niceness, discretion, public opinion,

"morals, the respect of assholes,

"always funky, dirty, low down,

SCUM gets around...

"and around and around.

"They've covered the whole waterfront,

"been under every dock and pier,

"the Peter pier, the Pussy pier.

"You've gotta go through a lot of sex to get to anti-sex.

"And SCUM 's been through it all.

"And now they're ready for a whole new show.

"They want to crawl out from under the dock.

Moved. Take off. Sink out."

Yeah. How much is a room here by the week ?

Twenty-five dollars.

Oh. Great.

Mmm. Twenty... five.

Be cheaper if you paid by the month.

Well, I'm not gonna.

Can you put me through to Maurice Girodias' room ?

Mr. Girodias is away for a few days.

Mmh.

Well, can I get a bellboy to help me with this stuff ?

You are joking, aren't you ?

You know, you're friendly. Did you know that ?

Yeah. - Good-bye. - Yeah.

Yeah, this is Valerie Solanas.

Yeah, I'm callin' again about that play I left with ya.

'Up Your Ass'.

Yeah, okay. Well, is Andy there ?

Oh, all right. All right. I-I'll call back.

[ Gerard ] Well, ultimately, we--we couldn't find a subway anywhere.

We-we passed this Chinese restaurant; hadn't eaten all day.

[ Andy ] Yeah. - [ Gerard ] And, uh,

we just went in for a minute.

And then it just, you know, it went on and then--

I-I'm sorry I wasn't there.

Gerard, is this true ?

Well, I-I-- like I said, I was--

You were on your way there and you just decided to stop.

We were on our way--we were on our way to the subway.

We didn't even think that, uh--

- You just stopped. - This-this fabulous Chinese restaurant.

We went in for a minute, ended-up having a conversation. - Well, I was hungry.

[ chuckles ] And Viva paid for it ? - Yeah, she had a check. - Really ?

- Do you ever pay for dinner ? - When-when there's cash involved.

Andy Warhol ?

I'm Valerie Solanas.

I sent you my play, 'Up Your Ass'.

Oh, yeah. Oh, um,

I'm, uh-- it's such a great title. It really is.

But, uh, I remember your play. It's so dirty.

Yeah. It was so dirty we thought it was some kind of entrapment.

Yeah, we thought you were a lady cop.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure I am. Here's my badge.

Oh... ah,

uh, would, uh-- would you like to do a screen test ?

- Yeah. - You would ? -Yeah, when? - Really ?

Could, uh-- could we do one now ? - Yeah.

That would be great. Let's, uh--

- Well, let's get it set up. Come this way.

- Sure. - Come over here.

I, uh, I want to move out of here,

and really get things organized, get rid of some of the craziness,

move full time into producing films.

It's all about personality.

The better the personality, the better the movie.

Andy used to make some films where you could spend four hours

watching some man eating a mushroom, but, then, he likes that, you know ?

A mushroom ? Mushroom.

Billy, are we ready ?

I think we're moving in a direction that's more entertaining.

These are some of our screen tests.

W-we're ready.

We have so many, uh, fabulous personalities.

The factory is a lot like the old MGM star system.

Are you serious ?

Oh, certainly. We believe in stars.

Our kids are actually very similar to the, uh, Walt Disney kids,

except, of course, that they're modern children,

so naturally, they take drugs and have sex.

[ Jackie ] Look, it's Adonis.

Mary, where's your little lamb ? Where is that lamb ?

Give me that, Ondine ! That Guinea prick. Give it to me.

How large is her lamb ?

[ Ondine ] The duchess, oh my God, desperate for attention, as usual.

[ Jackie ] You are an evil bovine-porcine pig,

but Andy likes to have her around.

I don't know why.

[ Ondine ] Cecil B. DeMille. The bargain basement.

[ Jackie ] Pfft.

I think you look very handsome there, Paul.

[ Jackie ] Handsome. - We have got to get rid of him.

[ Ondine ] Utterly vile. Look, she's practicing her arithmetic skills.

One.

One.

One. Honey, two comes after one.

You look lovely there, dear. Mmm. Feathers.

Iris ! - Surprise ! - She's signalling Bellevue.

[ Jackie ] She usually wears a straight jacket and we don't see those.

[ Ondine ] Ah, now she is fantastic.

[ Jackie ] My friend, Candy, is... fantastic.

She is so real. - Oh, she gets realer and realer...

And realer.

What is that horrendous monstrosity ?

[ Ondine ] Isn't she tragic ?

[ Jackie ] look at her hair. It's so mannish !

[ Ondine ] That-that's that man hater.

I-I-I don't know what Andy sees in her.

[ Jackie ] Maybe Andy feels sorry for her.

Poor thing. She won't last.

Andy, Andy, it's me. Andy, look. Yeah.

[ Andy ] Gee, you have really, uh, really powerful eyes.

- Yeah ? - Yeah, you really do.

Yeah. Yeah. I look all right. All right.

Yeah, you know, Andy, I-I really think you oughta produce the play, you know.

Have you finished it yet ?

Uh, gee, Valerie, um, you know,

I'm sure it's fabulous.

I-I mean, Andy, I really think you gotta produce it.

I mean, with your flair for publicity, you know, we-we could make a fortune.

You know, we could start off-Broadway,

you know ? - Broadway ? Wow. That'd be great.

I need some more actors. Yeah, I'll-I'll put an ad in the newspaper.

Yeah, one of the underground rags. That's what I'll do.

"Wanted. Hip girl typist, part time, East Village area,

groovy, unbusinesslike atmosphere."

That sounds fun. You can't type, honey.

How 'bout this ? "Wanted, a young, shapely girl

"Who wants to supplement her income easily

"By dating affluent, but busy bachelor, occasionally in his apartment...

teenybopper okay."

I'm not a teenybopper. I want to find the ad for Valerie's play.

I'm playing the ingenue. Oh, here it is.

"SCUM, Society For Cutting Up Men,

"is looking for garbage-mouthed dykes, butch or fem,

"with some acting ability,

"experience not necessary,

"to appear in garbage-mouthed dykey anti-male play,

a comedy called 'Up Your Ass' ."

Valerie. Is that the smelly bitch

dyke torrid whore who lives down the hall from you ?

She did, but she got kicked out.

She couldn't pay her rent, so she moved somewhere more expensive.

The Chelsea... very artistic.

"Also looking for talented garbage-mouthed pretty,

effeminate-looking males.

If interested in trying out for a role, call the Chelsea hotel."

She's nutty. - Oh, she's fine.

She's a little funny about men, but she'll like you, Jeremiah.

You should call her. Call her.

[ ringing ] - Hello ?

Ah ! Hello ? Hello, can you hear me ?

I'm having trouble with my phone.

Yeah, I can hear you. Um, I'm calling about the audition.

Oh, okay.

Uh, meet-meet me in the lobby of the Chelsea hotel,

tomorrow at, um, three o'clock and I'll read you.

W-what's your name ? - Jeremiah. - Jeremiah.

All right. And, uh, what do you look like, Jeremiah ?

I'm tall and I have long brown hair.

What do you look like ?

A butch dyke.

[ hangs up phone ]

Use an ashtray, please, Miss Solanas.

Fuck off, creep. And would you fix my phone ?

Hi, are you Valerie ? - Yeah.

You Jeremiah ? - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah.

Come on in my office.

Just don't touch the steam pipes.

Hey, I'm not gonna kill ya. I just don't want to take you to my room,

'cause you'll damage my reputation.

All right.

Here.

All right. You read Russell. Start at the top.

"No. The two-sex system must be right.

"It survived hundreds of thousands of years."

So has disease.

"You can't just determine us away."

Come on.

"We won't allow it. We'll unite. We'll fight."

All right. Well, eventually you may have to resign yourself,

because the expression "female of the species"

will eventually be a redundancy.

"You don't even know what a female is, you de-sexed monstrosity."

On the contrary. I'm so female, I'm subversive.

[ Jeremiah ] Your play kinda seems, uh, controversial.

[ Valerie ] Well, of course it's controversial.

I mean, it's time for controversy. I mean, the wrong species

has been ruling the planet for way too long, you know ?

It's time for the truth to be told.

Do you get what I'm sayin' ? - Not really. - No ?

For example, look at the shitty war we're in.

If a woman was in charge, it would never've happened.

I'm expectin' my draft papers any day now.

Women are real, they're human.

I mean, men aren't even complete human beings.

The male gene is an incomplete female gene.

Now that's why he's got this built-in inferiority complex

and always pullin' those lousy stunts.

Can I have a lemonade ? - [ Woman ] Just a minute.

Do you want-- do you want to kill all the men in the world ?

No. No. I don't think that would be necessary.

What about drag queens ?

What about drag queens ?

I mean, they want to be women, so--

What ? Do you mean if you got a sex change, would that mean you're okay ?

No, 'cause you're still a man.

That's not what makes a woman a woman.

Hormones. There's more to it than that.

And look at Candy Darling.

Here you have a perfect victim of male oppression.

Piffle.

[ speaking French ]

Andy, hi. - Hi, Fred. How are you ?

Good. Allow me the pleasure of introducing the Contesse de Courcy.

This is Isabelle de Courcy, my cousin.

[ Fred ] They're interested in seeing some of your work,

so I thought we could take a walk.

Oh, great. Yeah.

Is she very, very rich ?

Filthy. Did you see the diamonds ?

[ indistinct ]

[ chattering ]

[ Brigid ] I keep them in descending order depending on whether I've

cut-off the other end because I use them for all kinds of things,

like when I call up the delicatessen.

Anyway, what I was saying--

What are these wonderful, white capsules,

the white with the blue speckles ?

Oh, my dear,

Those are called Adipex. - Is this methamphetamine hydrochloric?

It's the same as Zoxin. It's a brand name. - Who are you ?

I'm stuck with these 20 milligram biphetamines,

but they make me feel so funny.

- Do you have any Obetrol ? - Hands off !

Uh, those are orange ones, ten milligrams. Divine.

These are the ones, my dear, that my mother gave me

when I was 13 years old.

- You're kidding ? - She sent me to a Park Avenue doctor.

My pediatrician on Park Avenue--

[ indistinct chatter ]

You call this a groovy light show,

I'd rather sit and watch the clothes dryer at the laundromat.

Oh, look. It changed color.

Where's-where's a love child ? They'll get a kick outta this.

Only a hippie would find this even remotely interesting,

but I'll tell ya, you spend one day with the hippies

and you realize how truly refreshing and unpretentious,

hard core, New York degenerates are.

The body of Christ.

[ Woman ] I think it's fabulous.

I think it's such a daring statement.

[ speaking French... ]

[ Girl ] Look, it's Adonis !

[ screaming ]

[ ♪ ♪ ]

[ ♪ ♪ ]

[ indistinct ]

So tell me. What do you think of--

- You be a good boy there.

Oh, hello, Fred. How are you ?

Uh, this is Ondine, one of the ah, greatest actors...

- So proud to meet you.

...in underground film today. - Oh, that's very kind of you to say,

because most people consider me a vulgar pig.

Don't mess it up !

... least of all women's, you shouldn't be having sex at all, right ?

- Absolument. - Absolutely. - Absolute, yes.

And for the last time, what the fuck is a gay bar ?

Can you tell me ? [ speaking French ]

What is that ? As a homosexual, I will not go.

I will not go to one.

Why should I be segregated ?

You're right. You should be isolated.

Au revoir. Au revoir.

Hey, hi, hi. My name's Valerie. - Hi, I'm Laura.

Yeah, I'm the leader of a new, uh, revolutionary organization.

It's called SCUM: The Society for Cuttin' Up Men.

I'd love for you to be a member.

You kill men ? - Um, no, not yet. Not yet.

You want to be a member ?

I actually can't be a member. You see, I'm a reporter.

I have to remain very neutral. But thank you.

- Well, I'd love to do an interview. - I'd love to also.

Ah, it might be groovy, actually.

Could you send me some literature or something ?

Ah, yeah, I got the manifesto right here. Here, for free...

Here for free, for free. - Yeah, let me just-- okay. Yeah.

[ Man ] Oh, I don't do dexies anymore. They do absolutely nothing.

You know what I dig ? I dig, um, round, pink, uh, Prelude.

Prelude. -Aren't those, uh, anti-pregnancy pills ?

Oh, stop. You're kidding, aren't you ?

My dear, stop taking those.

I just take my pokes.

♪ [The Lovin' Spoonful: 'Do You Believe in Magic' ]

♪ Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart ♪

♪ How the music can free her whenever it starts ♪

♪ And it's magic if the music is groovy ♪

♪ It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie ♪

♪ I'll tell you about the magic that'll free your soul ♪

♪ It's like trying to tell a stranger about rock and roll ♪

♪ Do you believe in magic ♪ - What ?

♪ Don't bother in choosin' ♪

♪ If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues ♪

♪ Just go and listen a little song and a smile ♪

♪ You'll never wipe off your face no matter how hard you try ♪

♪ Your feet start tappin' and you can't seem to find how you got there ♪

♪ So just blow your mind ♪

♪ If you believe in magic come along with me ♪

- Both of these. - What ?

♪ Maybe if the music is right ♪

♪ I'll meet you tomorrow sorta late at night ♪

♪ And we'll go dancing, baby then you'll see ♪

♪ How the magic's in the music and the music's in me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Do you believe in magic ♪ [ music ends ]

- Hi. - Hi.

Gee, everyone was having such a good time.

W-would you say something for me ? - What ?

Yeah, I'm, you know-- I have, uh,

like an hour's worth of, uh, on tape here, you know,

and I was just wondering maybe you could just do a,

you know, like a monologue for me?

No, I mean, I-I can't just monologue like that.

I mean, I need a stimulating person, like yourself, you know, to talk to.

I-I can't just do it on my own.

Oh, come on, Valerie. Say somethin' dirty.

It's so easy for you. - Yeah, well.

Just talk about sex.

Sex is really nothing, isn't it ?

I could read you somethin' from my latest masterpiece.

'SCUM Manifesto' . - Oh, yeah ? - Yeah.

"Sex is the refuge of the mindless.

"Sex is not part of a relationship. On the contrary.

"It is a solitary experience, noncreative,

a gross waste of time."

Wow, that's so true.

Want me to read more ? - Yeah.

"The female can easily, far more easily than she may think,

"condition away her sex drive.

The male, who digs the female sexually--"

[ indistinct ]

I like it. I just think-- - It's perfect.

But you shouldn't-- you should shoot me from this side ?

Oh, no, but see-- - But this is my good side. - your face is--

Your mail, Monsieur Girodias. - Thank you so much.

And the little matter of your rent.

Oh... oh my dear fellow,

my dear Charles, I'm so sorry.

My distributor was supposed to deliver a check this morning.

These damn people are so unreliable. You know how it is.

Remember me ?

Valerie.

Oh, Valerie. Yes, of course.

I'm ready to write that novel.

Call me next week and we'll arrange to have dinner ?

Yeah, okay. I'm gonna call you next week.

I'll prepare a contract.

'SCUM Manifesto' .

Ah, fifty cents for you, a dollar for you.

It'll change your life. No ?

'SCUM Manifesto' . A dollar for you, fifty cents for you.

Oh, there's Valerie Solanas.

Viva, why don't you talk to her ? It's Valerie.

'SCUM Manifesto' . It's a burning piece of literature.

It's fifty cents for you, a dollar if it's a deal. No ? No.

Oh, hey, Andy. How are ya ?

Well. You want some ice cream ? - No, no.

Here, 'SCUM Manifesto' . For you it's free.

Oh, wow! - Excuse me. Excuse me. You've written something. That's great.

Oh, gee, did you type this yourself ?

Yeah.

I'm so impressed.

Oh, you should come type for us.

Society for Cutting Up Men ? You dyke. You're disgusting!

So, Andy, are you gonna produce my play ?

I mean, you really oughta do it now, you know,

It's gonna cost you a lot more when I'm famous.

Some big-time publisher wants me to write a novel.

Oh, oh really ? Well, that's great.

Did you hear that, Viva ? Valerie's gonna be published. - Really ?

Yeah. His name's Maurice Girodias.

He's French. He's very famous.

He's published, ah, William Burroughs and ah, Henry Miller, Lolita.

- Oh, Lolita.

Yeah, a lot of high-class porn, you know ?

I'm in good perverted company, right ?

Oh, why don't I know him ?

Oh, hi, Candy.

- Hi, Candy. - Hi.

Oh, Fred, do you know, uh-- do you know Candy Darling ?

- No.

I'm called Candy Warhol now. Cashing in.

Why not ?

Oh, look at Candy, Valerie,

isn't she fabulous ? - [ Fred ] Mmm, fabulous. - Oh!

Oh, you ought to get her to do your makeup.

So, are you gonna produce my play ?

Oh, Valerie, we're so busy right now, you know ?

Well, can you just give me an advance at least ?

Oh, Valerie, get a job. I mean, you know--

Come on, Andy. You know that's against my principles.

Come on, just give me an advance.

If you come to The Factory tomorrow,

um, I will put you in our movie,

and that way you can earn the money, you know, instead of panhandling,

and, ah, we'll give you twenty-five dollars.

Yeah. All right. That's great.

You'll give me something to tie me over till then ?

Oh, I don't-- does anyone here have any money ?

Five bucks or something.

No one ? Well, how are we gonna pay for dinner ?

Well, here, I have five dollars.

- Here. - [ Woman ] You got any money ?

Thanks, Andy. I'll see ya Thursday.

- All right. - All right. - All right.

Bye, Candy. - Bye.

Psycho.

So, Candy, we've been wondering,

how often do you get your period ?

Every day, Andy. I'm such a woman.

The reason that we need that added light is because

without the light, his face would turn into a big fuzz ball,

another spot of dust on the lens; which, of course, may be good.

Oh, I like that. Do you like that ?

No, I don't. Well, I mean, it's-it's-it's--

it's your production, so--

I mean, it's your choice.

Oh, but I like that. Don't you like that ?

Yes, I do.

It's your choice.

It's such a strong face. Look. Okay.

- Could we-could we start ? - Yes, yes. Victor ? Okay.

Uh, let's get him to do something really modern.

Okay.

Okay, take your pants off.

Yeah, but-- yeah, but have him do it again.

Okay, put 'em back on.

Yeah, so, you know, it's the same, but different.

Okay, turn around and take 'em off again.

We're gonna shoot it from a-a different angle.

Oh, God, I hate morning. It is morning, isn't it ?

- I hate morning. I hate morning. - It's not her scene.

- Good morning, darling. How are-- - It's all right.

End your scene...

I told you I wasn't going to do this if he was nude !

I told you this ! I told you this a hundred thousand times !

[ indistinct ] Just shut up !

- Okay, now, look. - I wasn't fucking talking to you !

Don't be hysterical. - I'm not hysterical !

I am Mrs. Andy Warhol.

I deserve some respect.

You're a fucking, untalented liar,

and I don't know what the fuck he sees in you.

And I'm not a fucking whore, I'm not going to do this !

You should marry her, Andy. I think you're perfect for each other.

Fuck you ! [ door slams ]

Fuckin' freak show.

She said she'll cut her wrists for me,

and every time we try and film her,

she walks out of the room or she just walks off camera.

I just don't understand her. [ Iris ] Fuck it ! Help me !

Andy ! The fuck is with the-- - Andy wants you to leave now.

He does not want me to leave ! I'm his wife ! - Yes, he does.

Andy ! Fuck you. Get away from me. - Go!

Get your fucking hands off me. Andy !

Um, uh, where's Valerie ?

Okay, Valerie, you're on.

So, uh, don't try and act, just be yourself.

[ Valerie ] Here.

Right here. This is the place.

Uh-huh. Can I come inside ?

Wha-what am I doin' up here with a finko like you ?

Well, I was thinkin' maybe we could talk and smoke and drink.

I can't-- I can't figure it out. You're a fink.

Maybe you don't even know me.

Oh, yeah. Come on. What's-what's my motivation ?

Oh, oh, oh, I remember.

It all started in the elevator when I grabbed your ass and squeezed it.

You got a real squishy ass.

I mean, how'd you get it so squishy ?

I mean, you got a squishing machine ?

It gets squeezed a lot, yeah.

Want to go inside ? - No.

My roommate's in there.

- Oh. - And by the way, she's a lot squishier than you.

Oh, maybe we could just step in for a minute.

I told you, my roommate's in there. She's my girlfriend. - So ?

Look, I admit, I was weak, okay ?

You got me at a weak moment.

I'm a real pushover for a squishy ass.

What else have you got ?

You just wanted to set this whole situation up, didn't you ?

You took it the wrong way.

I don't live here. I just came here to beat my meat.

Now, wait a minute, you started it, you--

I'm not going to stop, forget it.

Come on, man. I wanna go home.

I wanna beat my meat. - [ Paul ] cut.

[ applause ]

Valerie, that was so good.

That really, really was.

Yeah, it was fabulous.

[ Valerie ] Oh, come on, Andy, I'm the best thing in that movie.

You know, all I want is another 20 bucks.

Christ, a snake couldn't live on what you pay out.

Hello ? Andy ?

Yeah, and while you're at it, I need that play back.

Oh, I'm sorry about your play, Valerie. I don't know where it is.

Andy, I need it. I wanna show it to my publisher.

I've only got one other copy. I don't want to give him mine.

Yeah, he's takin' me to dinner tonight, you know.

A fancy joint, El Quixote.

Oh, how glamorous. Well,

you should wear makeup, ah, 'cause you're kinda pale.

So, uh, you should wear a lot of blush.

Well, thanks, Andy.

Hello ? Hello ?

Ach !

[ slams phone ]

[ Candy ] Open your eyes.

Don't move.

Uh, uh. Hold still. Almost done. Almost. - I--

Almost.

Okay. Okay. Thank God.

What's he like, the Frenchman ?

Is he attractive ?

How should I know ?

I mean, this is a business, it's not a romance.

[ Sighs ] Go like this.

Now for my secret weapon,

Revlon's Fire & Ice.

Mmm.

Close, close.

Mmm ?

Good. Oh, divine!

So what am I gonna wear ? - Oh, um,

how 'bout this ?

Oh, come on. Christ, Candy.

Haven't you got something more dignified ?

This is an important dinner for me.

Um--

Yeah, I like the red one. Let me wear that red one.

The red ? - Yeah. Come on.

That's good. That's nice.

Let's see.

Yeah.

I could wear this.

On my way to a date with destiny.

♪ [ Spanish guitar ]

Yeah.

[ Valerie ] So,

I'm a-a pretty good-looking girl, huh ? Aren't I ?

I'm overcome. What a contract will do for a woman.

Yeah. Yeah. Cigarette.

George... champagne.

And you, you, Valerie,

you could be the voice of the new era of women,

women who are not afraid.

Yeah, I know.

I appreciate your ideas.

You know, I'm a passionate feminist myself.

I ask you, why has our society gone so dry,

so square ?

Here, let me help you.

So rigid.

Yeah.

I tell you,

it's because of women's natural creativity has been repressed.

Yeah.

So, I'm gonna take all the money I get, I'm gonna buy me a bus.

I'll call it the SCUMnibus. - Ah.

I'm gonna go around the country

recruiting followers for SCUM.

I expect to make a million dollars in the next six months.

Soon you will have the pleasure of knowing a new Girodias,

an opulent Girodias...

With a gardenia in his lapel,

a greyhound as white as snow at his feet,

a $50 cigar between his lips.

Yeah, that's real clear. Wait, I just want to get--

let me get something straight. - Uh-huh ?

I get five hundred dollars now, - Mm-hum.

Another five hundred dollars when I deliver the manuscript

and the rest when it's published ?

That's gonna be it ?

It's as simple as that.

Well, let's sign. Let's sign.

- Okay, so what about the money ? - Oh, yes, yes.

It's all ready for you.

Here, $500 for you to keep.

But-but you cash in only-only next month, right ?

Yeah.

Well, shall we drink to that ? - Yeah.

Mmm...

Uh, to-to a notorious new career. - Yeah.

[ glasses clink ] -Ah!

"The rights to all European territories

"shall be granted in perpetuity.

The rights to all--"

What the fuck does that mean ?

Oh, what have I done ?

What have I done ?

What have I done ?

We've got to lose the silver, it's so tired.

Well, why don't you get off your bum and make a suggestion ?

Well... what about hundreds of yards of chiffon ?

Where would you get it, dear ?

Right, oh, "a rate of six percent

on the first twenty thousand copies."

A rate of six percent on the first twenty thousand copies.

I mean, I-I signed this contract with that low toad Girodias,

and now he's got me all tied up.

Oh, I don't want to write a novel though.

I want to-- I want to publish SCUM.

Yeah, he didn't have the balls though, right ?

Yeah, if he's so radical, why won't he publish SCUM, huh ?

No, I'm sorry.

He's got me-- he's got me hooked up for two novels, right ?

Two novels.

Okay, two novels, that's-that's-- that's at least--

Oh, that's that's a century, is what it is.

That's a century... I'll never publish--

Well, what is that crazy bitch going on about now ?

I got it, Andy, you gotta publish for me.

Well, uh, Valerie, I mean, uh,

I'm not a publisher, so I--

you know, publish it for me.

You-you make art, you make beautiful paintings, you make--

I mean, you make-- you make something outta nothing, Andy.

I mean, what are you talking about ?

You know, you-you could be the head of the men's auxiliary.

'Cause I'm startin' a new organization

and you could be the head of the men's auxiliary.

And look, you put all of your assets, past and future, into a SCUM fund,

I'll do the same... I'll do the same.

Andy, Andy, I mean, it'd be so groovy.

I mean, America, it's dying. It's crying for a change, huh ?

The whole world is !

[ phone rings ] Yeah!

[ Ondine ] We have to start instituting rules around here. - Yeah.

Only the best-looking women allowed... and without cunts.

Did you know that males are biologically inferior females, hmm ?

Maybe you oughta read this.

I don't want your tacky writing, dear.

What makes you think Andy wants to publish you ?

What makes you think Andy Warhol,

the greatest living artist of our time,

wants to publish the ravings of a lunatic ?

I'm just curious.

Look here, you little fuck, I'm not a lunatic.

I'm a revolutionary, all right ?

And I have a whole lot of women behind me.

I mean, I got like a whole lot of followers, right ?

And we've seen the future.

And we will inherit the fuckin' Earth, not you, big boy. So, fuck off !

[ Valerie ] Where the fuck did Andy go, huh ?

Where ? Andy ?

[ slams door ]

'SCUM Manifesto' ? Fifty cents. It'll change your life. Nice ass.

'SCUM Manifesto' . - What is it ?

Yeah, it's something I wrote. - Yeah ?

Yeah, SCUM, Society for Cuttin' Up Men.

[ chuckles ] Oh, well, how much is it ?

Twenty-five cents for you. Usually a dollar, but for you twenty-five.

Um, [ sighs ] I don't have any change.

Well, take one anyway.

Take one anyway ! - That's okay.

Take one. Come on, take one. - That's all right!

SCUM ?

[Valerie ] So the guy has no money, right ?

I mean, I just gave the book away.

No, no. I'm hip

to what Girodias' little greasy contract is all about.

Oh, God, just give him a blow job.

I mean, I just sold the novel outright.

The only rights I'm gonna have is the royalties.

He's probably gonna find a way to chisel me out of that. - Valerie !

Why don't you just have yourself committed to an insane asylum

just to spite them ?

I'm sure they'll never think of looking for you there.

Join me there now. Fag ! Bastard !

- Piss on you, you motherfucking faggot ! - Get her out !

[ shouting, indistinct ] Outside, Valerie, you have to leave now !

I won't take that tone, man. Who the fuck do you think I am ? - Valerie !

Billy, look, I can take care of this myself.

Get your fuckin' hands off me !

I don't fucking need any of your fucking faggots' help !

You little fucking art-fucking faggots !

Come on. I'm not gonna go in. Don't worry about it.

Just-- I gotta talk--

- Absolutely. - Andy. Andy. Andy !

I gotta just talk to you for just a minute. - Oh, hi, Val.

We were just leaving. Ah.

Salvador Dali's having a party at the St. Regis.

I'm sorry, we can't take you with us.

Don't you get it ?

You've been excommunicated, my dear.

Andy !

Yeah, yeah. I wanna talk to Andy Warhol.

Yeah, it's Valerie Solanas.

Come on. I need to talk to Andy Warhol, okay ?

Look, it's Valerie Solanas, okay ? You know who I am.

So quit-quit pretending, all right ?

It's Solanas. S-O-L-A-N-A-S. All right ?

Ah, come on now. I know he's there.

Quit pretending with me !

Look, I want my script back, do you understand me ?

I want that script back !

God !

♪ [ intro to 'Summertime Blues' performed by Blue Cheer. ]

[ typewriter clacking ]

♪ Oh, Lord I got to raise a fuss ♪

♪ Lord, I got to raise a holler ♪

♪ About a workin' on somethin' just to try to earn a dollar ♪

♪ oh, Lord I tried to call my baby I tried to get a date ♪

♪ Sometimes I wonder what I'm a gonna do ♪

♪ Lord, there ain't no cure for the summertime blues ♪

♪ [ continues, indistinct ] - I got-- I got about 125 copies.

Put it on my credit.

Machine's broken, by the way.

Hey, you got a cigarette ?

Hmm. Here you go.

Yeah. Oh, thanks. - [ he chuckles ]

Oh, here, take this. We're having a, uh--

we're having an action tomorrow.

We're gonna dump garbage all over Lincoln Center.

Groovy. You call that an action ?

It's symbolic. - Yeah, man.

We're gonna bury bourgeois culture in shit.

What's that ?

It's my manifesto.

- Here, give me. - It's a dollar.

Okay, for you, for you-- I'll give it to you for fifty cents.

No, no, no. I got a dollar.

Here ya go. -Thank you. Here.

- We're the Motherfuckers. - The Motherfuckers ?

Yeah, haven't you heard of us ?

"Up against the wall, motherfucker."

We're like a street gang, only with an analysis. - Yeah.

Oh, swinging.

How long have you been in this, uh-- SCUM bag ?

Well, why don't you take me out to lunch ? I'll tell you all about it.

♪ Kick out the jams motherfuckers !♪

♪ Yeah! I, I, I, I, I'm gonna ♪

♪ I'm gonna kick 'em out ! Yeah ! ♪

That's-that's your move ? - 'That's your move ?' No moves.

- No ? - You're hot. Go out.

That's not gonna come off, right. I'm perfect.

So, what do-- what do you, uh--

we're the Motherfuckers.

You wanna know what the Motherfuckers are about ?

- Cool, what do you mean ? - We're against everything

that's good and decent in honky America.

We will burn, we will loot and we will destroy.

We are the incubation of your mother's nightmare.

That's what we're about. Want one ?

Yeah, let me tell ya a little about SCUM.

Yeah, now I like this. "SCUM, being cool and selfish,

"will not subject itself to getting rapped on the head with Billy clubs.

- Yeah.

That's for the nice, educated, privileged middle class,"

like yourself.

A .32 caliber Beretta.

Thank you. Thank you. Mark, I got the lesson. Thank you.

You don't begin to be free until your own blood

is being shed at the end of a Baton.

"SCUM will not picket, demonstrate, march or strike

"to attempt to achieve its ends.

"If SCUM ever marches,

"it's gonna be over the president's stupid sickening face.

"And if SCUM ever strikes, it's gonna be in the dark,

with a six-inch blade."

"His brother, Eldridge Cleaver, says, 'the shit is going down.'

"'and there are two kinds of people in the world:

Those who make up the problem

and those who make up the solution."

[ Valerie ] "SCUM is against the entire system.

"SCUM is out to destroy the system,

not attain certain rights within it."

"With our entrance into straight media, we demonstrate to the honkies

"that anything they do to FUCK with us

would be exposed to the straight media and to their kids."

"SCUM will keep on destroying, looting, fucking-up and killing

"until the money-work system no longer exists

"and automation is completely instituted,

or until women cooperate with SCUM to make violence unnecessary."

We were in this airplane and we went up and down the aisle,

borrowing food from people's plates,

and they didn't know we were revolutionaries.

They just knew we were crazy 'cause that's what we're about,

being crazy motherfuckers and scaring the shit out of honky America.

How much do you pay for this place ?

Huh ?

Twenty-five bucks, eh, thirty bucks. - Yeah. - Somewhere in there.

I couldn't pay you any rent, but I could fuck you sometimes.

- [ Candy ] Balenciaga. - [ Valerie ] Bitch. Slave.

Givenchy. - Toad. Sycophant.

- No, Dior. - Whore.

She should be wearing black.

Black is perfect for the evening as well as for daytime wear.

A girl always looks good in black.

Black, color of choice.

[ Man on TV ] Angry demonstrators belonging to what they call

the Women's Liberation Movement, picketed the convention hall.

The screaming women called the pageant a degrading, mindless, boob, girly symbol.

Oh, my God.

They paraded a sheep dressed as Miss America--

[ Candy ] I find all these social protests very disturbing.

burnt their girdles and brassieres in protest against what they--

All these revolutionary girls come across very hard to me.

I don't like hardness,

especially in women.

It's padded. [ Crowd cheering ]

Women, use your brains ! - These women,

they got everything from me.

- You're blocking my view. - I should be there.

I-I should be there. - Shh ! Valerie, I wanna see this.

I should be there. This is history.

I-I-I should be on TV. I should be there.

Yeah, I have a message. You know ?

[ stuttering ] What does it have to take to get me on TV, huh ?

W-What do I gotta do ? [ Jeremiah ] - I-I can get you on TV.

What ? No, really, I can.

I know somebody in TV.

[ quiet chatter ]

[ Man ] Fifteen minutes to air.

Fifteen minutes to air.

Sweetie, there's been a bit of a problem.

The other dykes, I mean women, have backed down.

But don't worry. Alan says he's a big fan of Valerie's writing,

and he's really looking forward to meeting her. Okay ?

♪ [ Theme ] [ applause ]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Alan Burke show. I'm Alan Burke.

Tonight we'll be dealing with yet another controversial topic:

Homosexuality.

Although I've read in the newspapers about homosexuals,

and according to the Kinsey report there must be one under every rock,

I find it rather repulsive that they are now seeking social acceptance.

This show was supposed to be about women homosexuals, lesbians,

and the gals we got chickened out.

But here before me is one who didn't chicken out. And why ?

Because she has her own ax to grind,

and, boy, ladies and gentlemen, did she pick the wrong place to grind it.

- [ lion growling ] - [ Audience laughing ]

Valerie ? - Yeah, that's my name.

That's your name, right ? - Yeah.

I'm glad you know your name.

Well, Valerie, I understand you're a lesbian.

Yeah.

And a somewhat mannish one at that.

What's the matter, didn't anyone ever take you to the prom ?

[ audience laughs ]

Who cares, all right ?

Who cares? I thought our studio audience might, if you don't, darling.

I'm here for one reason and one reason only. -And what would that be ?

I'm here to talk about the oppression for the past thousands of years

of men over women.

Please, be my guest. It's a brand-new topic. Go ahead.

Look, if we look at the-the history of oppression,

it's clear to see that it was all caused by men and--

Of course it is, who else would it be caused by, Valerie ?

I think the studio audience agrees.

Can I get one word in ? Is that possible on this show ? - Please.

All the wars were caused by men. The rape and the pillaging, caused by men.

I know, I-I personally had a part in that,

and I think the studio audience gets your drift, Valerie, all right ?

Okay, let's take Vietnam, for example-- - Oh, please !

Isn't it true that you'd stop at nothing to undermine American values and mores ?

And isn't it true that you're just a pathetic excuse for a woman ?

I've seen creatures at the zoo that have more class than you.

Try to control yourself. Try to control yourself. Don't get personal.

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever heard anything

as sick and perverted as this woman?

- Try and control yourself, all right ? - I'm in control.

Well, let's not show the audience what a scumbag you really are. Is that possible ?

Did you hear what she said ? She called me a scumbag !

Call the lions out, you little fuck. [ lion growling ]

- Get this cunt off the stage. - No, you're the fuck.

Let us fuckin' see your goddamn shit ! You little fuckin' bastard !

Cut, cut, cut !

Who the hell do you think you are ? - Cut, cut, cut !

Get the fuck off me ! Get the fuck -- !

Give me my fuckin' hat, you little fuckin' bastard !

Oh, who's scared out there, huh ? - get outta here.

You little sycophants !

Get the fuck off me. I can fuckin' escort myself out. Thank you.

[ indistinct ] - [ Alan ] Is she outta here ?

[ Man ] Yeah, yeah. I think so.

Well, why don't you check ?

Roy, make sure she's outta here, okay ?

[ Valerie ] How could you set me up ? Huh ? You set me up !

Who told you to do it, huh ? Who told ya ? Say it !

[ Jeremiah crying ] No one!

No, 'cause I know why. It was Andy, huh ?

Andy told you to do it, huh ? Right ? Come on, now say it. - No, no, no.

What ? Say it ! Say it, you little chimp. Ha? - No one.

- Call the police. - Operator.

Operator, call the police.

Call-- ! Aaah !

Come on. [ gasps ]

Yeah, right.

You're suckin' up to Andy, right ? Suckin' up.

Yeah, you think Andy likes ya, huh ? You think Andy likes you.

He likes you 'cause he hates women and you're a fucking freak !

[ muffled cry ] You know that ?

Yeah, Jimmy.

Jimmy, you're not a woman. - No.

You're a man. You're not even a man !

You're pathetic. [ crying ]

Oh, shut the fuck up.

[ crying ]

[ door shuts ]

Hello, Toad.

I know it was you who set me up on that TV show.

Wh-what TV show ?

I'm in a meeting at the moment.

Perhaps we can discuss this later.

I'm gonna cut your balls off, and I'm gonna stick 'em down your throat.

Yes. Yes, we'll talk later.

Thank you so much for calling.

Stevie ? Stevie ?

Stevie, please, you gotta let me in.

Stevie, it's Valerie.

Stevie, please. Please.

Oh, what the fuck ? - Oh!

Stevie, I gotta stay. - No, no !

[ Valerie ] Oh, thank God you're home.

[ door slams ]

So Girodias must have sold Andy the film rights to the 'SCUM Manifesto' ,

and that's why Girodias won't print the manifesto,

until he makes me sign another contract.

Him and Andy-- him and Andy, they want to own SCUM.

They want to own the whole thing.

Yeah, they're in this together. They're in this together.

[ sighs ]

And Girodias, he has me all tied up with that greasy contract.

And Andy's already stolen my play.

Yeah, I'm never gonna get that back.

Yeah, they have everything.

Now I'm never gonna be free.

I'm never gonna be free now.

Never gonna be free.

Never going to be free of them.

What the fucking shit ! Valerie, what the fuck is that ?

Get that outta here !

I'm not doin' it. I'm not doin' it. Oh, shit!

- Get out ! Get out ! - I'm not-- I'm not doin' it.

- I'm sick of this shit ! - No, please !

- I don't want to go out there.

- Valerie, get out ! - Please ! Stevie, I can't go out there !

- I said get out ! - Please, Stevie !

You're fuckin' full of shit. You get out, you fuckin' lunatic.

[ door slams ] Jesus ! God !

♪ [ intense ]

"Rational men want to be squashed, stepped on,

"crushed and crunched,

"treated as the curs, the filth that they are,

"have their repulsiveness confirmed.

"Sick, irrational men

"will attempt to defend themselves

"when they see SCUM barreling down on them.

"Men who are rational, however,

"won't kick or struggle or raise a distressing fuss,

"but will just sit back, relax,

enjoy the show and ride the waves to their demise."

[ typewriter keys clacking ]

Oh, hi, Valerie. What can I do for ya ? - Is Girodias here ?

No. Didn't he tell you ? He's in Montreal.

He won't be back until the weekend.

Okay. When he comes back,

you tell him I'm gonna kill him.

[ door slams ]

indistinct street sounds ]

[ auto engine accelerating ]

[ Andy ] Oh, hi, Valerie, we haven't seen you for a long time. - Yeah.

Gee, Valerie, aren't you hot ?

It's June.

Hi, Mario. How are you ?

How are you ? You look well. - Thank you.

Hey, look, everybody, Valerie's back.

What have you been up to, Valerie ? Are you still writing dirty books ?

[Andy ] Oh, doesn't she look beautiful ? She's wearing makeup.

Yeah, she looks fabulous. Eh, you want to talk to Viva ?

Oh, yeah.

Hi, how are you ?

Yeah. Where ?

Oh.

Oh, for, uh-- [ stuttering ]

For the movie. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No. That's-- no, that's really great.

That really is, yeah.

And they're dying your hair ? Yeah.

All right. Yeah.

Well, yeah. Um--

Oh, yeah. No. They are ?

Oh, well, no. I'm, you know, I am pleased.

I think that's great. I really think that's great.

I just thought maybe, you know,

you could have used our people in it.

And, ah, listen

you know, I just thought they should use more of our people, that's all, you know.

Ah-- [ gunshot ]

Valerie. Valerie. No don't. Valerie, no !

[ gunshot ]

Valerie.

[ gunshot ]

[ gunshot ] Ow !

I have to shoot you.

Valerie, please don't shoot me.

You can't. I'm innocent.

Please, just leave.

[ elevator bell rings ]

[ breathing heavily ]

[ gun clicks twice ]

Valerie, there's the elevator. Just take it. [ gun continues clicking ]

[ breathes heavily ]

Here. Here, take-take this.

The police are looking for me and want me.

I shot Andy Warhol. Yeah, I had to.

Yeah, he had too much control over my life.

[ Woman ] In regard to the incident on June 3, the patient says,

"I shot Andy Warhol.

He is trying to steal all my work."

She says that she is glad that he is in the hospital...

And hopes he dies.

She also complained that,

"if Andy has really forgiven me...

why hasn't he been to see me ?"

Dear Stevie,

everyone's married, and I plan to also.

Yes, Stevie, I've decided to be sex changed.

I'm too female to be half and half.

There's a very good book written on the subject...

By Dr. Harry Benjamin,

the transsexual phenomenon.

I think you should read it.

Let me know what you think about this step I wanna take.

You asked about writing to Valerie Solanas.

I think you should.

I know she did a terrible thing, but she has paid,

or is paying for it. And I'm sure she needs a friend.

It's very thoughtful and kind of you,

and you should do it.

We got another one of those letters.

[ Valerie's voice ] Dear Toad: Your secret agent knew where I was

Because of the transmitter in my uterus.

You told him to tell me you don't want me to write you anymore.

I know you live for my letters. What else is in your grim, puny life ?

♪ [ Disco ]

You're not on the list.

[ Woman, indistinct ] - Just a second. Excuse me.

Carlos. - Fred, how are you ?

- Fine. Um, we're waiting for Liz.

Has she shown up ? [ indistinct ] [ loud pop ]

What's wrong ? - Oh, uh-- no, nothing.

- Hi. - Yeah, we're all together.

- The whole group ? - Yeah.

[ Valerie ] "As for the issue of whether or not to continue to reproduce males,

"it doesn't follow that because the male,

"like disease,

"has always existed among us,

that he should continue to exist."

"Why produce even females ?

"Why should there be future generations ?

"And what's their purpose ?

"When aging and death are eliminated, why continue to reproduce ?

"Why should we care what happens when we're dead ?

"Why should we care

if there's no younger generation to succeed us ? "

[ intro to ' I'll Keep It With Mine ' performed by Bettie Serveert ]

♪ You searched ♪

♪ At any cost ♪

♪ But how long, babe ♪

♪ Can you search for what's not lost ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Will help you ♪

♪ 'Cause some people are very kind ♪

♪ But if I ♪

♪ Can save you any time ♪

♪ Come on up and give it to me ♪

♪ I'll keep it ♪

♪ with mine ♪

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ If you might think I'm odd ♪

♪ If I say that I don't love you for what you are ♪

♪ But for what you're not ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Will help you ♪

♪ Discover what you set out to find ♪

♪ But if I ♪

♪ Can save you any time ♪

♪ Come on out and give it to me ♪

♪ I'll keep it ♪

♪ With mine ♪

♪ The train leaves ♪

♪ At half past ten ♪

♪ But it'll be back ♪

♪ Tomorrow, same time again ♪

♪ The conductor ♪

♪ His spirit still ♪

♪ Stuck on the line ♪

♪ But if I ♪

♪ Can save you any time ♪

♪ Come on now and give it to me ♪

♪ I'll keep it ♪

♪ With mine ♪

♪ I'll keep it ♪

♪ With mine ♪

♪ [ song ends ]

♪ [ intro to ' Demons ' performed by Yo La Tengo ]

When she sleeps ♪

♪ She shuts out the essence of you ♪

♪ When you call her name ♪

♪ She trembles at what you might do ♪

♪ Daytime ♪

♪ See her and she might give in ♪

♪ Nighttime ♪

♪ Demons who know you can't win ♪

♪ See the demon ♪

♪ [ fades ]