Original subtitles

I don't know why, but once you do that it give me the giggles.

- I don't know, why? - You know why.

- Some people think insults are more effective than compliments.

- A sad night.

Flat champagne, dreams unfulfilled.

Shall we dance?

Some land rhythms warm and satisfy, did you know?

Oh, the lady won't dance with me.

And yet beautiful, intelligent, a doctor of medicine,

soon to be rich by dint of prescriptions,

and melancholy as a neglected housewife.

- I swore an oath tO someone.

- What?

Why, whom and when?

- Ah hah.

- Ah, fascinating.

A woman who knows how to keep a secret.

It's fascinating.

But it's unbearable.

A secret is meant to be shared or it's no fun.

A secret yearns to be told.

It begs to be freed.

Can't you hear it cry out?

Free me from slavery!

- You win, I'll tell you.

Well,

I swore vengeance against my father.

- The poor man. - He deserves it.

He abandoned my mother after getting her pregnant.

- Well, that's banal.

I mean, it often happens nowadays.

And yet I must say, I like the idea of revenge.

Yes, it's the very spice of life.

- Quite right. - but tell me about your revenge.

- Here.

- Wanted for the summer:

Woman tutor, well bred, good college education.

And that's you.

For a seventeen year old girl.

Send references to: Charles Leroy-Murville, Catalon Castle,

Andrea Place.

- He's my father.

It's all settled. I'm starting Monday.

Now mark my words,

that sweet little sister of mine will be so perverted

before I'm through with her,

that my family won't get over the shame of it

for ten generations.

- You're a genius. - That's right.

- You're an absolute genius.

My friends, our doctor friend,

whom you all know

is going to invest the whole summer in a plan to ruin a man's reputation.

How beautiful, how grand, it's immense, imperial.

Roman!

- Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

As for me,

Baron Plessis du Regard,

I have yet another scheme,

the fallout of which will serve the commonwealth.

Let me explain.

We're all acquainted with Colonel Montvilliers.

The vested interests of this country want him elected to parliament.

I shall bring their efforts to naught.

I knew that you would all approve.

But I'll need the help of a woman, fearless and brazen.

Are there any volunteers?

- Me, - I'II volunteer!

No, no. That's far too many. I only need one.

But since so many are vying for the privilege,

may I suggest a contest?

You'll each have thirty seconds

and the most perverse will get the job.

- Show us, Lilly.

- Music maestro, please?

- Let's give her a great hand.

A bit slow mayhap.

Perverse, but you were a might bit slow.

I'm terribly sorry, your thirty seconds are over.

Now, Mary-Lou.

That's pretty good, please sit down.

Well, you tried.

Next.

Time's up.

We need a slow rhythm.

- Some like their champagne at body temperature.

- Hey, don't waste it.

- Down the hatch!

- More! Encore!

- Why her hair's so short.

- I thought she had no credit? - Oh, but she drives.

- Let her go on, she's great!

- Fancy, not bad.

- Time's up.

- Can I go on, huh? - A round of applause for her.

- Oh, weren't she great?

- Oh...

- What's left to take off?

- I'II spend the night, a whole night,

with anybody who will vote for me.

- You've got five votes.

- Well, that's the spirit.

You all heard her promise.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Eliane is the winner.

- Oh yes yes yes.

You do something to me you do.

You make me feel so...

Come here.

- No. - Yes.

Yes, you must.

Oh, yes yes yes.

You must, it's mandatory. You'll like it.

No!

- You could say it goes with the job.

The butler holds that privilege in all good houses.

- No...

- Now there's... ahh.

We must abide by age-old traditions, don't you think?

- No!

- What do you say, hmm?

Will you stop it.

And pick up your bloomers.

That's no way to behave.

Well, I won't be so nice next time.

- Mummy...

Baron Plessis du Regard and Miss Eliane Langleur.

Please inform the colonel we're here.

- A tutor with such breasts! - Baron!

- Will you tutor me in the art of love?

- Baron!

Don't be a fool!

- What have I done, I'm so sorry.

Will you please forgive me?

Oh my life, my life lies at your mercy. My name, my honor, my future.

I do beg your pardon.

- How do you do?

My friend, the Baron Plessis du Regard has the highest regard for you.

He is the one who suggested

I should hire a tutor for my son.

- I believe a boy his age requires a good tutor.

Old traditions must be respected,

don't you think?

- Traditions are vital,

why the matrix of future generations.

- Miss Langleur's family has been in my family's employ for over two centuries.

Despite the world's revolutions,

her family remained totally faithful and kept on serving mine.

We are the glorious past and the world's hope for tomorrow.

Our devotion to the high aims of our country

sustains tradition in the light of the past.

Our tradition, our respect for the past and our respect for duty.

Our best defence against foreigners and Bolsheviks roaming our streets.

I know that you and your friends are fighting with great effectiveness

against these foreigners.

- We'll boot them out.

The bastards, they're in for a big surprise.

Our party and its friends have worked out a plan.

Just wait till I'm elected.

- Thanks to representatives like you,

our country will retrieve its grandeur.

- May I introduce the Baron Plessis du Regard.

My wife,

Leonie de Montvilliers.

- I am delighted to meet you.

- So am I, Baron.

Ah, she's pretty.

You are quite pretty, my dear child.

- So, you're Miss Juno?

May I see your references?

Thank you.

Do you believe in God?

- Of course I do.

- You can't take it for granted anymore in this day and age.

I'd like to warn you right now

that I won't stand for romance under my roof,

so if you happen to have a fiancé,

tell him to wait till the end of the summer.

- As a matter of fact, I have no fiancé.

- That's fine, that's fine.

Consider yourself hired, Miss Juno.

Here Piedro, you er be so kind as to load Miss Juno's luggage?

- Yes Sir.

- Sophie is, well quite exceptional.

She's pure, frank, open and utterly honest.

She's an angel. She's seventeen.

Loves me...

respects me...

I want my girl to remain as she is.

If she were to change, I simply couldn't bear it.

- I know how you feel Sir, and I'll respect your wish.

- You were hired simply to polish her education,

and teach her good manners.

But...

put no new fangled ideas in her head.

- Why, I shall respect your every wish.

- Fine.

- Here we are.

I'II switch on the light.

Come in.

Here.

Now keep your room nice and neat, do you hear?

I'm the one that cleans up around here.

And that's not all I do.

The laundry,

Erm... the cooking.

And that makes three meals,

and serve, and do the dishes.

And um... don't expect me to spend an hour cleaning up after you.

You hear young lady? I really don't have any time to spare.

- No, I don't want to, please. - Of course you do, you do.

- Calm down child. - Please, leave me alone sir, please?

- You have such a cute little behind there.

- There... now. - No...

- Please, Mr. Albert.

- What? It's good for you. - No...

- No, please. - Relax your legs.

- No, no...

Oh it gives me such a... oh don't!

Please, no.

- No!

Mummy!

- Baba, baba, you must be playing hookie from kindergarten.

- Yes, Colonel?

- Right away, Colonel.

The colonel expects you to join him downstairs in the library, ma'am.

- Did he say why?

- The colonel expects you,

and ifl may, I'd suggest you come on the double, ifl may.

- What do you mean?

- On the double means on the double.

You'd better get yourself a glossary of army terms.

- I'll be right down.

I Am Everywhere

- Come in.

- Ah, Miss Langleur.

Sit down, will you?

- Will you excuse me, I'm not quite presentable,

but I was going to bed.

- I've traveled all over the world and believe me,

next to some in the far reaches of the world,

you're fully dressed.

- I'm sure, Colonel.

- But I wouldn't want you to believe... - That'II do!

Baron Plessis du Regard speaks very highly of you.

Nonetheless, I would like to underscore, in my own words

a certain number of principles dear to my heart.

I devoted many years to the defence of our colonial empire.

Many of my men died right before my eyes, drowning in their own blood.

My whole life has been a battle,

and I want my son to follow my ideals.

Even wounded, decapitated, cut into pieces, I want him to be a winner.

Our generation managed to keep the empire.

What I want for my son is simple.

I need to get it into his head that each generation must carve its own niche.

This is the educational bible I go by.

It's an English book, I had it bound myself.

And it's distributed to every institution worthy of the name.

- Extraordinary. It's marvellous.

The English are a strange breed,

but English education is an example of effectiveness.

- Of rigour.

Of rigour, My Child.

- Of pragmatism.

That's the word.

Pragmatism.

The translation is close to perfection.

In one word, the translator in part sums up a style of life,

a science of life, an understanding of life.

Will and purpose.

The yardstick for all things.

And of all men.

I'd be very happy if you'd loan me this book so I could study it tonight.

It's a storehouse of principles I'd like to start applying as of tomorrow.

- As it happens, I was... I wanted you to read it.

Well, go to bed.

Every day is a battle that must be fought against odds.

Good heavens.

- Mummy.

- Will you promise to me, promise me your life?

- Domestics nowadays have strange manners.

- Pardon?

- I didn't say a thing, but I find it disgusting

why do you let them go on like this?

- My husband likes and needs Albert.

As for myself, why they're having a bit of...

Why should I upset the routine of my house for a picadelle?

- Isn't Claudia upset?

- I wouldn't wager on that.

Why, it's not that unpleasant.

Unless of course things have changed

since my young days

- Answer me... - Albert!

Would you be so kind as to help Claudia straighten out her clothes

and then brew me a drink of herbs and bring it to me.

If you please.

- Right away, ma'am.

...Then brought me back to life,

and as soon as I recovered my senses,

ordered me to take my clothes off.

Trembling, I obeyed.

As soon as I found myself in a state of desire

one of them held me down.

The other...

The other... penetrated me,

forcefully

Driving in his organ to... to the hilt.

- Go on.

- Miss, I--

- You what? Can't you read anymore?

Then keep reading.

Driving in his organ to the hilt.

- His organ... his organ to the hilt.

Then he cut a toe off each foot

made me sit down,

and proceeded to pull a tooth from my mouth.

- Read on.

What do they put into her mouth?

- I don't know, it doesn't say ma'am.

They whip her

then they brand her with an iron.

It's horrible.

- No, I don't agree. It's not horrible.

It's painful, and the subject of our lesson for today

Pleasure and suffering.

The twin faces of love.

- But my father...

- Your father only taught you the mundane facts of love.

The one that's shown to the outside world

I was hired to teach you the other.

That of sex, and that of pleasure.

Your father meant to teach you virtue.

This summer,

he wants you to see and touch Janus's hidden face,

vice.

Your body exists, your soul lives in an animal.

I was hired to make you aware of that.

Obviously your father won't refer to it in any way whatever, and...

where you are concerned,

you're to go on behaving normally

as you always did.

No one is to know or guess.

Is that clear?

- I guess I understand.

- Alright then.

Now, let's walk to the swing.

Take off your panties.

Go on.

Higher!

Try to feel the wind as it rushes in between your thighs.

Push hard,

so that the wind itself feels hard.

- I... I... I...

- Come on! - Ow, my ear.

You're tearing off my ear!

What are you doing that for?

- Sophie,

get back on that swing.

This old pig should learn a lesson.

- Hey, I'm not that old! -You're an old swine, a voyeur!

- Yeah, but... well.

Look at that.

- Go on, Sophie.

Go on.

I want him never to forget this.

- I won't forget, for sure I won't. No, no.

- Higher, Sophie.

- How about that, ohh.

- Spread your legs apart.

- Oh my ear. Ohh...

Look at that.

- My ear!

That's heaven.

Oh Miss, it's...

Oh let go of my ear, you know I've got work to do.

I'd better go.

Bitch, can you believe it?!

- We taught him a lesson.

He'II never try that again.

- Are you sure about that?

- Yes, I am.

The man will be too afraid

of what you've got between your legs, sweet Sophie.

Your pretty thighs hide both

a treasure

and a weapon.

- The sternness of an adolescent's education,

is the mould which shapes the adult man's strength

A soul, tempered in stringent discipline

to which has been imparted the virtue of obedience,

will never blend into the reigning cowardice.

The martyrdom of a good education stands as a guarantee of...

What are you looking at?

- I was listening to you.

- You'd better tell me the truth, or else.

You were looking...

What were you looking at?

You were looking down at my ankles.

- No ma'am, I swear!

- Don't you lie to me.

Don't compound your voyeurism

with something that's even more unforgivable.

I am going to read you of a vice unbecoming a man of your upbringing.

I'II teach you to control yourself.

To control your impulses.

From this moment on,

your eyes must never again look below the level of this table.

A healthy mind in...

in a healthy body should be a goal of a leader.

The body is the very image of the soul.

How could an unhealthy body possibly deserve a strong soul,

and claim to be its home?

Corporal punishment is the stuff of authority

and education '5 best tool.

A good teacher knows how to punish his students,

and a student must accept his punishment.

The whip is the best instrument

to express and impress authority,

for it leaves its mark.

The cuts and welts long remain,

and remind how strength enters the body.

I never would have thought that a man of the colonel's stature

had sired a weakling such as you.

One vice revealed that speaks many others.

Such a solitary, nocturnal perversion.

And possibly even worse.

It's going to be my job to get rid of all that.

Our rooms are adjacent I believe?

The door between them is to remain open until further notice.

That way I'll be able to check, and put a stop to reprehensible actions.

Meanwhile, come and help me.

Now, undress me.

Hurry.

You missed a button.

Go to the wall and turn your back to me.

I'm going to take off all my clothes

and, we'll resume the lesson.

Now listen to me.

Should your eyes leave the wall

even once,

your father will be told what kind of a son you are.

What goes for matter, goes for men, too...

- Profiterole with chocolate.

- Does Robert give you satisfaction?

- As written in your book, the one on English education,

there are a few ounces of impurity to be removed.

- Ahh, and what kind of impurities Miss Langleur?

- Erm... some tiny specks.

I'll be more specific, let us say, in a week.

- Don't hesitate to inform me of any problems.

- I certainly will, Colonel.

- Now listen here, Robert.

We're all counting on you to work very hard

and to put your mind into it.

I have the utmost confidence in your professor.

- I'll do my best, father.

- I want a full report.

And I'll expect you in the office err... I mean in the library.

- I'll be there.

- I believe that a rapport between parent and educator is all but vital, erm...

I'm sure you agree

in the student's development.

- Claudia is the best cook we've ever had.

Why, these profiteroles are sublime.

They are sublime eh, Albert?

I'm sure you'll agree, Claudia's nothing short of marvellous.

- Yes, she's marvellous, ma'am.

- Robert, give me a hand.

That way, I can see right into your room.

Anything you do, I'll be watching.

You may go to bed now.

I'm going to see your father.

Don't take advantage of it, to indulge as boys are want to do.

- In that case, maybe you'd better put on some clothes.

- I want an apology.

Your insolence is unbearable.

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- That's enough.

I hope that this sort of thing

will never happen again.

- Oh, that's really worth filing.

Come in.

I apologize for my casual garment Miss Langleur, but

reading the paper got me so furious

I simply forgot good manners and didn't get dressed.

Of course, I have a fighter's temperament

and sometimes forgo amenities.

- I'm not surprised in the least.

If I weren't a woman, I'd often get mad...

about what they write in the newspapers.

- Let's forget all that.

Ifl may be so bold, may I offer you a glass of sherry?

Of course, while we talk of Robert's education.

I'm not used to drinking alcohol, Colonel

and it may be silly, but I'm afraid it'II go to my head.

- Ahh, haha. A glass of sherry never hurt anybody.

The fragility of women.

Ahh.

Ahh.

I'm highly satisfied with you, Miss Langleur.

I was right in trusting the baron's judgment.

Let's drink to his health.

Ahh.

- I already feel a little tipsy.

- Oh, come on now.

One glass of sherry can't disrupt such an orderly head.

Orderly and quite pretty.

Where did you learn your method, your art of education?

- At the Convent of the Sisters of Redemption.

We went to mass every morning.

- Ahh.

- And then we had a morals class until 11 o'clock.

We used to take turns at playing professor.

We studied religion till noon.

The sisters were strict.

Year in and year out. Religion and more religion.

- That's interesting.

- Do you know what our favorite game was? Hopscotch.

Do you play Hopscotch?

- Oh, no no no I don't, but err...

Oh, it was a theological sort of hopscotch.

We'd go around the room.

Heaven.

Earth,

and Purgatory.

Heaven.

Earth,

and Purgatory.

When the wind blew, we played another game.

We stood facing the wind,

and then we ran and we ran.

We ran.

Ran.

We pretended we were flying.

I've been a bad girl.

- Miss Langleur, what's the matter?

Miss Langleur.

Miss Langleur.

You're frightening me.

Wake up.

God, what a beautiful girl.

Miss Langleur.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Good God.

Good God.

What a beautiful woman.

- Oh, that sherry.

I'm so sorry.

- No, don't be, don't be.

- All you need is a little sleep, that's all.

- I'm sorry.

It's the sherry.

- Good evening, my child.

- Good night, ma'am.

- The poor child seems to have a problem.

I do hope that you haven't been too harsh with her.

- Oh, you know how I am. Where there's a solution there's a problem.

What I mean... You know what I mean.

Err... the girl's fine, but she ought to mean...

She's got to use more discipline.

Why, discipline is the very principle of the army,

and I want my son to get that into his head.

- Dear Friend,

either poor little Sophie has no brains in her head,

or she's even more perverse than I ever could have made her.

I made her suck on the tip of a cup-and-ball,

and she applied herself to the task with care and relish,

following my instructions in every detail with such conscientiousness

that I could not help but wonder.

I was so amazed by her attitude

that I asked her to fondle herself in front of me,

using as a pretext that she should learn to overcome

any feeling of unease toward me.

She caressed herself willingly,

so naturally and so naively that I began to wonder once again

can anyone possibly be so ignorant of life?

Or was I dealing with sheer, unadulterated hypocrisy?

I must admit she disturbs me

where her father, who happens to be my own father too, is concerned.

Let's say that he's not indifferent to my charms.

I suspect that he peeps in on me while I take my bath at night.

Earlier this evening, I gave a gala performance for his benefit.

If, as I believe he's the peeping tom

he must, he has to react.

And I 'm waiting.

What I did was scream and moan that I wanted a man,

all the while caressing myself under the shower.

The only thing I wonder about,

is how long before he overcomes his small town bourgeois taboos.

I want a man.

I want to feel a man's hands.

I don 't want to bother you with my family's stories.

Many kisses Dear Tutor, I hope to see you again soon.

Your Nathalie, who shall win the contest and become a baroness.

- I'm sorry Miss Journo, I know it's late but...

but I wondered if you might...

if you er... if you might like to...

to go for a ride in my airplane, er...

tomorrow...

tomorrow morning, to er...

tomorrow afternoon.

Whenever you want to, whenever you want...

- Ride in your plane?

Why, I'd be too afraid.

No thanks, I'd be terrified. How can I ride in a plane?

I've never tried jumping higher than that!

- Er, that's got nothing to do with it.

All you do is relax.

You sit down and relax, and that's all there is to it, like this.

You just relax, and enjoy it.

Maybe er... maybe it would be a good idea to test you.

Squeeze your thighs close together.

I'll do a loop, you'd like that.

I'II dive, to the limits of endurance.

You'll hear the wind, screaming in your ears.

The roar of the engine.

You'll feel...

the vibrations, till your whole body shivers with them.

You'll be lost in the clouds.

So close to heaven, the world

The world is what I'm offering you.

The Universe, every dream you ever had!

- I said no. Let go of me, you hear?

- Let go of me! - You need a man!

- You want a man's hands on your body.

I heard you in the bathroom.

- Leave me alone!

- I don't get it.

Nathalie, you were almost screaming for a man.

Why?

- I admit it. I do want a man.

I admit as much,

but you are Master Leroy-Murville.

It may take a while before I get used to the idea.

But I will get used to it.

To you, to your body.

Your naked body laying next to mine.

Do you understand me?

- I do, I understand, of course I do.

Don't worry.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Till tomorrow.

Sweet child.

That's it, it worked, he came. He even tried to rape me.

And I just had an idea

which will make me win that little contest, hands down.

Love and kisses.

- Robert!

- Yes ma'am?

- I'm very tired.

Please undress me.

- Yes. ma'am.

Oh ma'am.

Ma'am.

Ma'am.

Ooh!

- Do you know what you are?

You're an animal, you're a beast, you're a dog,

incapable of controlling your impulses.

Don't come in. What is it?

- The colonel requests your presence in the library.

On the double, he said.

- Very well.

I'll be right down.

Robert,

will you choose some lingerie for me, so I can go see your father?

- Why does he want you?

Why are you putting on fancy underwear?

- I put on fancy underwear to go buy a loaf of bread.

Or would you rather I went down naked?

Bring me a bra and panties.

Help me dress.

- Oh, ma'am...

- Come in.

Ahh, the most extraordinary woman I have ever met, bar none.

Miss Langleur.

She's more than my son's tutor.

Yes, far more than that an iron fist in a kid glove.

Ahh, and bright.

The very type of woman this country needs for tomorrow.

Ahh, I won't introduce these gentlemen

for reasons of security.

Suffice to say they are both men of honour and highly respected for this.

Integrity, prepared to do anything to save the country

from the conspiracy of Freemasons and the claws of Bolsheviks.

- I appreciate the honour and the confidence you have in me, Colonel.

- I don't intend to beat around the bush with empty formalities.

I'll go straight to the point.

- I appreciate that, too.

- Very good.

Our friends and myself have decided to act

with a view of sustaining the values dear to our civilisation.

The situation is pretty bad,

and therefore, we have to put a stop to it

in such a way that no one can ignore we exist.

And that's the reason, young lady, why we need you.

- Please be assured, I'll do anything I can for our country's good.

- That's what I expected from you.

However, what we are asking you to do for us,

is risky.

- Risks, colonel. The bigger the better.

- A bomb.

- Ahh, here we are, as nicely as you could wish.

How was the flight, windy up there, wasn't it?

Could you give the lady a hand?

- Watch your step coming down.

There you are, ma'am.

- Purrs like a kitten. - I worked on it myself, see you.

- Well now.

It looked to me like you enjoyed yourself, hey?

I could hear your heart beating louder than the engine.

I'll bet it's never beaten hard.

So, is that the best you can do?

- Thank you very much.

- Do I still intimidate you?

- No.

What's the matter, Nathalie? Don't you want a man anymore?

Why yes. Yes, I still want a man.

Of course I do, I want a man very much.

- Tell me what's wrong.

- Well, it's not easy you know.

May I confess something to you?

- Go ahead, confess away.

If not to me, to whom?

- Well...

I'm a fetishist.

- You're a...

You're a fetish... a fetishist?

- Yes, and that's why I couldn't make love with you.

Unless we were both in a certain situation, if you know what I mean.

- I couldn't figure you out last night.

- So that's why? - Well yes, that's it.

I didn't dare speak to you about it.

I was afraid you'd think badly of me.

- How droll.

Why should I think badly of you?

I'll do anything you please.

- There was a...

There was a telephone call for you. - My mother?

-No, no, no. Your sister Eliane.

It sounded serious.

- I'm so sorry. - You'd better call her right back.

- I hope nothing serious has happened.

- Do you mind? - Of course not, go right ahead.

- Hello. I do.

Number 17, La Surete please.

- Would you please run me a bath?

Nice and warm. I'd better get back in shape.

- If you'd stop flying around like a bird, you wouldn't get out of shape.

Hello Eliane. It's Nathalie.

- I'm glad you finally called back.

You won't believe this, but that stupid self-important colonel

wants to blow up the parliament.

- Is that all?

Along with the prime minister I suppose, eh?

- Both him and most of his ministers.

They'll all be there.

It's scheduled to go off while they vote on the budget.

- Good idea, let them go ahead with their plot.

Hmm, it's been done once or twice before.

- Yes but Nathalie, there's a catch.

The colonel is expecting little me to walk in and place the bomb.

- I can't believe it.

- Yes, it's true.

Think of something, if you don't want me blown to hell.

- There's only one solution.

The baron.

- There you are.

- I love it.

- Well now. I'd say we were in a spot.

Terrorism is a long way from sex.

- Now please baron, this thing is serious.

How do I get out of it?

- Oh, who said anything about that?

I think that the colonel's idea is excellent.

A bomb will blow some life into the political scene.

- Stop it. We've got to help Eliane out of this situation.

What about our contest?

- We cancel it.

- It's no-go.

- I want to become a Baroness.

- Oh, now do you really?

- You gave your word.

- So I did, and a promise is a promise.

There's only one solution.

- What's that?

- You hurry things along.

You finish what you started before they debate on the budget.

- It's pretty short.

- I don't know, that leaves us a couple of weeks.

- More than enough to do what you set out to do.

Here's to you.

Here's to health.

And good luck to both.

- Rock a bye baby in the treetops

When the wind blows the...

Don't make any noise please, she's practically asleep.

- Sophie,

do you remember what you did with the cup-and-ball the other day?

- Yes.

It was like sucking on a lollipop.

Father never ever buys me Iollipops.

- Your father won't say anything

but first, you've got to make me a solemn promise that you'll obey me

and do exactly what I say.

- Sure, I'll do exactly what you say.

- You mustn't speak. You must make no noise.

What you're going to learn is very important,

but you mustn't open your mouth nor make the slightest sound.

- Dearest friend...

there are only six days left, yet I 'm continuing to break in Robert.

That little cherry is crazy about me.

It's strange sometimes, for Robert is almost a man

and his entire being is focused on me.

My body fascinates him.

He 'd do anything to see me naked,

as he'd do anything for the pleasure of licking my feet.

He 's obsessive about it.

The punishment I devised for him, for this quirk,

was to make him scrub down

our somewhat simple-minded young maid, Claudia

when she took her weekly bath in the kitchen.

Robert is very class conscious,

and he accepted his punishment with considerable reluctance.

Claudia couldn't make head or tail of it,

but submitted passively to the ordeal.

And yet, though she was ii! at ease and sometimes trembled,

I could see in her face that the whole thing gave her obvious pleasure.

Women are strange, aren't they?

As a matter of fact,

the only person who didn't appreciate it was Albert, the butler.

He stumbled in on the scene, and immediately put a stop to it.

Whatever you do, some people will be upset by it.

That's life.

With fond kisses, and hoping to see you soon, Eliane.

- No Charles, not that way, no!

Stop it!

I said no.

You promised!

- I'm sorry, really sorry but...

I want you so...

I want you so much.

You're...

Well...

- I'm ashamed.

I'm so ashamed.

- What's that?

Where did you find all this gear, I don't believe it.

- I don't understand. - I don't discuss my morals.

Charles, you either accept or you refuse.

But let's not talk morals.

Keep your advice and keep your reflections.

We all have our secrets.

I'm not asking for yours.

Now that you know mine, I'd like you to kindly respect it.

So you'd better decide right now

whether you want to make love with me.

- I accept.

You know, fantasies, why...

make the world go round.

- Sit down.

- I'll be...

What happens ifl need my hands?

- Just trust me, Charles.

It's a surprise.

You won't need anything at all.

Just let yourself go.

Relax, Charles.

That's fine.

What I'm going to ask you now is very important.

- What?

- You must remain silent.

You mustn't say a word,

or you'll break a spell.

Don't spoil this wonderful moment.

Promise.

- I promise.

- I'm coming right back.

Clementine...

- Huh? - Follow me.

- Everyone has got to be told.

Tomorrow.

- Holy virgin.

Oh, good God, how is it possible?

Oh yes, I'll tell everybody.

The whole world.

[indistinct]

Let's see now, err...

- OK George, get on your feet.

Good.

Put a little bit more lust into it.

Don't forget, millions of kids are waiting for this.

- That's cruel. Rita here and Santa Claus?

I can't do that to her.

Come on now, George.

Amelia, do you mind? Right, good girl. Thank you.

We need you now.

Good.

You can take that off later.

Good girl.

Come along.

Alright, over here.

Right.

Now, take off this stuff.

Yeah, that's it.

Let's see a little bit of Christmas Christ.

Now, sit down on Rita.

- Oh, that old stunt again?

That oughta cave in my chest, huh?

- It'II only take a minute.

- That's it. - I'm not eating candy again.

- Everyone ready?

It looks good.

Bring on the snow storm.

Smile...

You're enjoying it. - Huh, yeah.

- Rita, take off your clothes, would you?

Alright... let's see some more bosom.

- My boob? Ahh!

- Don't forget you're sitting on mine.

- You mean they droop to your belly button.

- Just you wait.

- That'II do.

Now, a little sigh.

Ah nice, that's exactly right.

Oh, that infernal machine!

Keep going, I'll be right back.

Baron Plessis du Regard, who is this?

Oh, it's you.

Tonight?

Are you sure?

Alright, I 7! be there.

- Bulls... Eye. Bullseye.

Why you... You hit the bullseye.

- Let's see now.

What are you up to?

As they say, the devil finds work for idle hands.

Let's see now, shall we?

What's all this nonsense about?

Ahh.

You're learning to read, eh?

That's a new one on me.

The young lady wants an education.

Why don't you let me teach the alphabet my way?

My alphabet is very practical, you'll see.

A...

B...

There.

A, B, c...

D.

Ah, they're so pretty.

B is so nice.

Such a cute little behind.

I don't know what I like best.

Your behind or, there.

Come here.

We'll see about the rest later.

Affirmative, Colonel.

- Well, it's er... It's quite annoying at that.

- No one can be trusted anymore.

- And... - Hmm?

- Since we learned that you found such a nice tutor for your daughter, Sophie...

Well...

We thought that perhaps you wouldn't mind

were I to leave our two nieces with them for the afternoon.

- Well, I hadn't thought of it but...

Clementine...

Clementine...

- Why, I'm not deaf!

- I know you're not, my good woman, but I...

- I am not your good woman, Sir!

I'm not anybody's good woman, least of all a gent who...

What can I do for you?

- Well, what's the matter now, Clementine?

- Why, nothing sir.

- Fine, in that case ask Miss Journo to come here.

- Yes, of course I'll tell her.

- She's upset by something.

They quite often are here. It's changing times.

Today there's no respect for anything.

- What's the world coming to?

You heard about that schoolteacher?

She ran away with a farm boy.

At least you're safe with Clementine.

- I sometimes wonder if war might...

- Oh, I'm all for a good war.

- Hello.

- Miss er Dupoir Lelou, er Miss Journo.

Miss Dupoir Lelou would like you to look after her er...

her two young nieces this afternoon.

I said you would.

- I say the more we are, the merrier.

- I'll be glad to. -Thank you.

- Alright, that's settled.

And don't forget to come back in time for er... our little business.

- Yes of course, Sir. I didn't forget.

The material is waiting, and so am I.

We're going to try our hand at drawing.

Sophie, show us the etchings please.

- Yes ma'am.

- These drawings Ladies, are what I would term "superb craftsmanship"

Don't close your eyes.

It's great art.

Every single sketch...

was drawn from life.

That is to say, with marvel.

What I'd like you to do...

is reproduce...

these masterpieces.

But...

So that there may be a measure of creativity on your part,

I'll ask you to replace the bodies and the faces with your own.

Which of you will reproduce that one?

Very well.

You... and you...

Please take it.

You'll each pose in turn.

That's important.

- Oh, we have to take our clothes off?

- So what? Take them off.

The Vatican is full of naked statues.

The Pope doesn't mind.

Don't be more virtuous than the Pope.

How about you?

Where there's shyness, there's no fun.

That goes for you too, Sophie.

Go on.

Try to be good models.

I want to see you as naked as these girls.

Don't stand there like statues, go on.

Pose like them.

- But ma'am, that's impossible, look at it.

- Just what's impossible? Nothing's impossible.

Use your imagination.

That's how the artist's saw it,

but you could approximate it and adapt it, I'm sure.

You look ridiculous.

What do you think of it, sweet little Sophie?

- I'm not too sure what to think.

Maybe she should be whipped with a long, hard rod.

- You're probably right, Sophie.

However, they're too silly to understand that.

Come with me.

I'd like to give you a little advice for tonight.

- Tonight, ma'am?

- Yes, Sophie.

This night is going to be the most important night of your life.

After, nothing will ever again be like before.

Good God.

What in the world are you doing?

Are you mad?

- We were copying that drawing.

But didn't you say...

- What were you doing to herjust now?

- Well look at it ma'am, look at the pubis.

- They're right, she's got no pubic hair.

We've got to match the drawing.

That's what you said.

That's what you said!

- Yes, of course.

Go on then.

After all,

it never harmed anybody.

- Miss Journo... - What?

- Look, it feels just like silk.

You know what I could do with it?

You know, I once learned to weave,

and I could make a fine hanky with it for their aunt.

- That's a very good idea.

- It's a gift from your nieces.

Feel it, ma'am.

- Oh...

They're adorable.

It's so sweet of you.

Goodbye, my dear friend.

- Till next week? - Hmm.

- Quite amusing, that idea of the hanky. - Yes, quite.

Sophie's the one who thought of it.

- And remember, not a word.

I don't want you to worry, everything's going to be just fine.

Do exactly what I said.

The first experience is really very important to a girl.

Just think of Justine.

- God...

Oh... Oh!

Good God... oh... oh!

- Do you...

Do you have sexual congress with my father?

- Lace me up,

and stop asking questions.

A weird word.

Congress.

- I want to know if you do?

I have to know.

- Very well.

Then come down to the library.

Wait about an hour.

A full hour.

As you describe it, it's horrible.

- Yes, it's er, it is horrible.

Something has to be done.

We've got to fight back, save the country.

I'm going to...

Move over the date we set for our plan.

- I'II abide by your decision,

but we've got to remain calm,

and carefully review the whole situation.

I know that sherry will go right to my head,

but the occasion calls for it.

- Sherry?

You... you want some sherry?

- I do Colonel, please.

Let's forget for one moment the abyss into which they're pushing our country.

Let's forget it, only for a short moment.

More power to you.

To how many enemies have these hands meted out a most horrible death?

- I don't know, why I'd say dozens.

Maybe well, hundreds... maybe...

Counts in, think of a battle...

How many captured women have I taken as spoil?

- How I would have liked to be with you,

and fight with you to the limits of my strength.

To risk my life next to you, in those exciting battles.

- How exciting.

- Tell me how it was.

- Show me how you charged up the mountain, Colonel.

- I'll tell you all.

I'll tell you all.

Charge!

- That's about enough.

Your room's got to be cleaned, you hear?

Get up so I can make your bed.

- It wasn't me, it wasn't.

- I'd better let some air in here, hmm.

Get rid of that stale smell.

- It wasn't me.

- Ahh...

What a beautiful day.

One deep breath is worth any tonic.

That's what you should do.

Don't take it so bad.

Such things are as old as the world,

and you're not the first.

You know it, and everybody knows it.

Lots of girls sleep with their fathers.

Try to forget it.

You must try to forget.

You must.

Ohh...

If it were up to me.

In my opinion, you should send Sophie far away from home.

Let a little time go by.

It's best.

I'm sure you'll agree with me sir.

You've got to send Miss Sophie

away from here.

Not very long, only until people forget about it.

Don't you worry yourself,

I'll take care of everything.

- It wasn't me.

DON'T THESE OLD MEN HAVE CHILDREN?

- He never did that sort of thing with me,

and we've been married for thirty years.

What er...

I do wonder what excites him so much.

- My ass.

- Ahh.

How well put that is.

That's what has always made the world go around.

- You're quite right.

- Hmm.

- You should try using it.

- It's never been my forte, too late now at my age.

But...

I wonder if the next time...

Hmm...

The very next time, yes.

I'll follow your advice.

My son.

Ass, my son.

Ass is the most important thing in the world.

And never forget it.

- Robert,

one of my garters came loose.

Would you?

Robert,

why don't you come up for air?

Robert, teeth is not what you use to hook a garter back on.

Why thank you, Albert.

- Hello?

You may go now.

- Congratulations.

What you did verges on artistic perfection, darling.

The picture is very good.

- Excuse me for sighing into the telephone, but

Robert is under the table,

and he's doing things to me.

You know what I mean?

- Sophie, an exercise.

Would you check if my garters are well hooked on?

We're even now, darling.

I, too have someone under my skirt,

and the scandal you raised is well nigh canceled out by mine.

You'll hear about it

when the scandal oozes out of here and comes your way,

I assure you that I hit smack in the bulls-eye.

The famous Leroy-Murville family is ruined.

I mean, it's branded as immoral.

- You'll give me all the details?

- Of course.

Mmm...

By the way,

you haven't heard the best part yet.

Charles Leroy-Murville, in the face of the scandal,

decided...

to send Sophie...

and her tutor, namely me...

to Venice.

I'm supposed...

to prevent a shock.

- Oh, that's marvellous.

I've tried to get the same thing here.

You wanna bet we'll Ieave together?

I'II introduce you to Robert.

You'll see.

We'll go to Venice.

The four of us.

- You'd never imagine the face Sophie made the first time she read "Justine."

She's come a long way since then.

However, she'll never let go of good manners,

even when she masturbates.

So I wonder sometimes how she got so expert.

- Robert's quite the opposite.

His little thingamajig must be like an orphan.

- I've got an idea.

Wait a minute.

Sophie,

would you show Eliane how good you've become?

Ahh, you never would believe the magic she can weave with her fingertips.

I'm sure you'll agree,

girls learn much faster than boys.

- Not bad. Not bad.

- But, Robert's been a very good pupil.

Would you show Nathalie, huh?

Your pupil learned her lesson we”.

Very well, so did yours.

Well, well...

Mmm... ahh, hah...

Fast work from both of them.

- Which is faster? - A race?

Ah huh.

There... there's a bottle on the table.

Mmmm.

- The first one...

slips our panties off and puts them on the bottle, wins.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Well now children, is that understood?

- Yes ma'am.

- Robert, did you hear?

Yes.

- Now then, do us both the honor of winning,

I mean, on your marks,

Get set,

1, 2, 3, go!

- I won.

- You like your wine at leg temperature?

- No, it's only a joke. An old school prank.

It's all in good fun. - Ahh.

May I suggest that you restrict sundry pranks and unseemly jokes

to the privacy of your cabins?

The company rules are very strict

about the temperature of Bordeaux wine.

- I'd say that mine is better looking.

- Yes, you've got a point.

But mine has got nicer legs.

- You've got a point.

Though there isn't that much difference,

and you can't deny mine's got nicer breasts.

- I'm not sure about that.

They both have nice breasts.

But mine, mine has a belly so firm, so flat...

- So has mine got a flat belly.

They both have their points.

- Still, it'll be difficult.

We're both too involved to judge.

Our opinions are unnecessarily too subjective.

We've got to find an impartial judge.

- We should be able to find one.

Ask anybody.

- I'll go get somebody who's objectivity is bound to be beyond question.

It's a very delicate matter.

But you gave me the impression that you had good taste.

- Oh.

- Look.

- You see, what we'd like to know is...

- Which one is the most beautiful in your opinion?

- Um... what, we want you to be objective

and don't let your feelings interfere, you hear?

- Interesting, but...

both are devoid of any originality.

- What does that mean?

We'd like to know which one of the ladies you prefer.

Err...

Perhaps ifl had more information,

I could give you a better substantiated opinion.

I might be quite unfair.

Unless you further unveil the evidence.

I do concede a slight preference for the subject in the upper berth.

Why, there's a flow...

a nice flow.

But I'm reserving judgment of course.

Until I can have an unclouded look at the lady still hidden from sight,

and whose form I must say viewed from here are quite voluptuous.

And might well sway my decision were I to see her undraped.

Oh, impossible.

- What if you touched them?

Maybe you'd like... better weigh the evidence?

- Ohh...

Possibly.

- Then do.

Do it.

Go on.

Don't be shy.

- Mmm...

- Mmm...

Impossible, I can't. No no no, it's impossible.

I can't.

Impossible.

- I've got to know, I must.

- So would I,

but we can't make up our minds, and neither can anybody else.

- Ijust might be able to help solve your dilemma.

Baron Hugh Plessis du Regard,

it would seem we have converging interests

which I risk getting a matrimonial rope tied around my neck

because of a stupid bet.

You can help me cut free of it.

- What do we get if we help you?

- The truth,

and a chance for revenge for what your tutors made you both endure.

- Stop it! - Better stay calm.

I know everything!

If you want to keep the slightest chance of marrying the baron,

better do exactly as I say.

That negligee suits you.

Why, it's beautiful.

- Why did you bring up the baron?

- Shut up.

Sophie!

- What's going on in here? - Silence!

The baron is supposed to marry one of you.

Which, he doesn't know.

He was wise enough to ask for our help.

That's why

as of this moment on,

Sophie and I

are taking your future into our hands.

So as to determine which one of you two best deserve the honour.

- Nathalie has just agreed.

We want you both to do everything we'll ask.

Absolute obedience.

And the one who performs best,

will be chosen.

- You accepted?

Very well.

If that's the case,

I accept too.

- Ahh...

- Papa,

I'm getting married.

I met the man I want to spend my life with.

- Put it in the bank!

Check up Hugh, take a bail!

Go on, charge, charge!

- How are you ma'am?

- Very well, son.

This is no time to get home.

- I'm getting married, mother.

- And what about our wedding, Baron?

- Silence.

- If you were a Count,

you wouldn't add up.

- Don't anybody move.

These are happy days, so smile.

The eyes, smile...

Happy,happy!

Subtitles by Marc Morris © Nucleus Films Ltd 2023.