Original subtitles

Shavers and Klopp.

Larceny.

A Slight Case of Larceny (1953)

Freddie, must you make all of that steam?

It's from the hot water, Geach.

I know it.

Dishes!

Hurry up, will you please, Fred.

I'm sorry, Geach.

Will you get those dishes out here?

What's that thing?

It's a labor-saving device I invented.

It'll revolutionize the restaurant business.

As soon as I get it patented, we'll all be millionaires.

A little demonstration, please, Fred.

That's my pal, Geachy.

His real name's Augustus Chivas.

The Geach has a kind of magic all his own.

Just looking at him, you'd think he was a lazy bum, but don't let him fool you.

He never sleeps, thinking every minute, thinking upward and onward.

You know what I mean?

Well, maybe you don't, so let me tell you from the beginning.

It all started that winter we spent together beside a blue lagoon,

basking in tropical splendor.

Do you think he'd listen to me?

Not that Lummox.

He won't be satisfied until they clobber us.

He knows what he's doing.

That's why they made him a sergeant.

A sergeant, fine sergeant.

He hasn't even got brains enough to outflank the enemy.

Now, how's he gonna do that?

This isn't the first patrol that's ever been pinned down.

What would Genghis Khan do, or Napoleon, or even MacArthur?

What would they do, Geach?

Elementary, elementary.

Even this knucklehead could understand if he'd listen to me.

You see that rock out there?

The rock, yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

Now, listen.

A guy sneaks out and gets in back of that rock and throws lead at him.

You understand?

From here to there?

Yeah.

How?

Well, he makes a run for it.

Suppose he gets spotted.

He'd make it, believe me.

He'd make it.

And after he gets there, the rest of the outfit goes back and outflanks the enemy.

This is military strategy, kid.

You don't learn it in the pool.

A guy could get killed.

A guy could pick himself up a medal, too.

Look, I'd do it, Freddy.

Except I've got a tricked knee, you know?

Oh, yeah.

The knee I got.

How about you?

Well... Huh?

What about the sergeant?

I'll square it with the sergeant.

He'll kiss you for it.

If you make it.

What if I don't make it?

You'll make it.

I know you'll make it, Fred.

Go on.

Go on.

You'll make it.

Keep low.

Keep low, Fred!

Follow me!

Come on, man!

Congratulations, Geech.

Great idea.

That was just a little one.

I've got some big ones.

Private cheevers?

You're amazing.

Stick with me, kid.

I'll bury you in diamonds.

Oh, Freddy boy, me for ocean voyages.

Live like a millionaire, that's it.

You know, like they do in Fortune magazine.

That's a classy magazine.

Buck and a quarter a throw.

Is that your ambition, Geech, to be a millionaire?

Uh, no.

I'll never realize my ambition.

Oh, I'll be a millionaire, all right.

But I'll never have any of that old money.

Old money?

What kind is that?

You know, the kind that's handed down from generation

to generation, like the Astas and the Vanderbilts.

Nah, that's the real money to spend, kid.

Well, what makes that kind any better?

Well, any joker can invent a zipper or a latch

on a screen door and make a million dollars.

But that kind of money, it has no class.

You know, kid, once when I was a very small tot, I saw a movie of an old banker

who had the gout and rode around in a Rolls

Royce all the time with his foot propped up.

And they made him as mean as possible in this picture, see?

I mean, he foreclosed on mortgages and starved old widows and everything like that.

You were supposed to hate this old guy, see?

It's a funny thing, he's the only one in the picture I really liked.

I'll never forget that old guy.

That's a great ambition, to ride around in a limousine with the gout.

What's your ambition, Fred?

Ah, you know, Emily.

Get married, I guess.

Settle down.

That's a great ambition.

Emily, ten kids, and a lawnmower.

Believe me, the gout is better, Fred.

Emily and I got married.

That was six years ago.

I hadn't seen the geats since then.

I missed them plenty.

But I had a wife, two beautiful kids, a home of our own, and a real good job.

Morning, Mr. Logan.

Morning, good morning.

Look, I gotta go out for a while.

Get Justin's car first, will you?

Yes, sir.

I promised him for noon.

Okay.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

I'll take it, sir.

We'll have it fixed in no time at all, sir.

It's the windows.

They work on buttons.

Ah, windows.

Probably need just a little fluid, that's all, sir.

Okay.

I'll pick it up later.

All right.

We'll have it ready for you.

How about a little service here, please?

Be right with you, sir.

Gage!

How are you, Gage?

Good to see you.

Oh, Gage, I missed you.

How are you, boy?

Fine, fine.

Some car!

Ah, it's a mere bobble.

It's been a long time since I've seen you, lad.

Six years.

Six years?

You gonna stay?

I don't know.

I haven't made any plans.

Have you had any breakfast yet?

Come on, let's have a little coffee.

What do you see?

Covered a lot of grounds since I've seen you, lad.

Have you, Gage?

Oh, boy!

There we have it.

Gee, I missed you.

Thank you.

Oh, wait a minute, Gage.

I can't be going long.

I've got a grease job to finish.

Grease job?

Relax and enjoy, kid.

The Geech has returned.

And then you went to Florida, huh?

Yeah, I went down to Florida.

Wish you'd been there with me.

We had a grand time.

Tell me about it.

Not much to tell Freddy.

I went down to Florida and spent the season rubbing elbows with high society.

I don't like to blow my own horn, kid, but I was murdered with the girls.

On the go every minute.

They wore me out.

I met Noel down there.

He was having trouble casting the lead in his new Broadway musical.

How can you say no to Noel?

The critics rave, but after all, playing the same show night after night,

you know me and Monotony, kid.

They begged me to stay, but I tore up my contract and headed west.

The west, kid.

Ah, wide open spaces where a man can double his fortune at the snap of a finger.

The big money boys never took their eyes off me.

They watched every move I made.

Watched like a hawk, cause every day I was cleaning up.

Once I got the edge on them, too.

I figured I'd play it cozy, you see.

Play on their loot.

Uh, money.

Another thing, kid, when you gamble, you've gotta relax.

You know, devil may care.

That's how it was with me.

If I hit, okay.

If not, okay, too.

George the Greek begged me to teach him my system, but the syndicate made me a better

offer, so I closed the deal and cruised down here to see you.

Well, that's about it, kid.

I missed you, though.

That's why I thought I'd come down and say hello to you.

Glad you did, Geach.

Looks like I've been doing all the talking.

How are things with you, boy?

Here you are.

Everything went... Oh, I've got it, I've got it.

All right, dear.

Uh, would you mind catching this kid?

I'm all out of small change.

Sure, Geach.

Thanks.

You see, the tax-wise, it just didn't work.

Would you please watch the grease?

Thanks very much, Brent.

So when they tried to drill the well... Where have you been?

Justin was here for his car and I wasn't ready.

I'm sorry, Mr. Sorry?

What good is that you?

Oh, wait just a minute, Logan.

Calm down, calm down.

This man and I were just having coffee, that's all.

There's an understanding amongst nice people.

Employees get a break a.m.

and p.m.

Who's he?

Uh, he's my friend from the army.

Mr. Klopp is an employee, not a slave.

That's the trouble with fellas like you, Logan.

You never know when you're well off.

You'll probably get a 40% markup off this man's labor.

He could go any other place in town and get twice the money that you're paying him.

Geach, if you please.

Shorter hours and better working conditions.

Geach.

This is still a free country, Logan.

Remember that, huh?

Geach.

Let's not forget it.

What are you bothering with this chicken feed for?

Oh, it's different with you, Geach, but I've got responsibilities.

That's what happens when you get nailed early.

Freddy.

Hmm?

Take a look over here.

What?

Why does a pretty little mouse like that have

to throw herself on the mercy of the government?

And away I go.

Next, miss.

Hi, Bev.

Hi.

How's the old girl?

Just fine.

It's been a long time.

Sure has.

How's the old crowd?

Just fine.

It's good to see you again.

Still live in the same old place.

Doing the same old things?

You are, miss.

Thanks.

Call me, won't you?

Yes, I will, but what is the number?

Still the same old number.

Bye.

I'm sorry, Geach.

Why don't you watch what you're doing?

You're a grown man, aren't you?

Well, get in there.

Hello, Emily.

I called the garage.

Mr. Lorgan told me you were fired.

What happened, Freddy?

Well, I'll tell you about it later.

Don't look so sad.

I've got a big surprise.

Geech!

Emily, you remember Geech.

Hello, darling.

How are you?

I haven't seen the Geech in years.

He just got in town today.

And you just lost your job.

What happened at the garage, Freddy?

I'll tell you about it later, honey.

When you can think up a story, you don't have to bother.

I know what happened.

Your pal walked in and just by accident, you got fired.

Emily, please!

Please don't fight, Fred.

You're absolutely right.

When I walked in, he did get fired, but it was no accident.

It was done on purpose.

You don't think I was gonna stand by and watch a friend of

mine spend the rest of his life in a grease pit, do you?

That grease pit supported his wife and children and paid for this house.

I know that.

But, Em, dear, don't you think I had something

better in mind for Freddy when I did all of this?

Oh, you did?

Why, the proposition I have for Freddy will set him up for life.

Doing what?

He has no training.

He's worked in a garage for five years.

Five years in a garage?

Yes, someone else's garage.

This is America, Emily.

The land of the free.

Land of opportunity.

Who says that this man shouldn't have his own

station or his own garage, for that matter?

Where will he get the money?

Oh, I'll worry about that.

Hey, Mom.

Mary Ellen spilled the milk.

Why does she have to be such a slob?

Geech, can you really get the money to swing this?

Money, money, please.

I told you before.

Money is the least of our worries.

Just trust the Geech, will you?

Have a little faith in me.

Do you own this house?

Yeah.

I

Got the hydraulic jack working, Geech.

Took about two pounds of grease.

Good boy.

Here's a fellow that two years ago was driving a junk truck.

Today owns four square blocks of New York City.

Yeah, Geech.

What about the cash register?

Tomorrow it goes over there.

Oh.

And the frame, what's that for?

Frame?

That's for the first dollar we make.

Oh.

Come on, my boy.

Something to show you.

You've got to remember to think big, kid.

Think big.

Be daring and act.

Take a gander.

Do you ride along in bliss?

Here's a thought that you may miss.

If your brakes get any worse, you'll be riding in a hearse.

Cheevers and cloth.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna string them down Degger Street, too.

Catch them on both sides of the street.

I've got five signs left, Brett.

Yeah, but riding in a hearse, do you think people will go for that?

That's the secret of American advertising, kid.

Scare them to death.

You know, like those soap ads with a beautiful

girl and the guy, and he proposes to the girl.

She gets afraid and sort of shies away from him.

She really wants to marry the fella, but she can't because he smells bad.

How long is he gonna stay?

Hmm?

Oh, till he finds a place.

He hasn't even looked.

Well, we've had other things to do.

We've been working pretty hard, you know.

You mean you've been working.

Oh, now don't stop that.

I never missed a day school in my life.

You can learn a lot watching a television, too.

That's why I want one so bad.

What can you learn?

Who was in pictures 20 years ago?

Well, it's your bedtime, son.

All the other kids have television, but Pop says we have to wait.

Do the other kids have color television?

You bet they don't.

They still have that black and white.

And that's for peasants.

That's where your Pop is smart.

He's waiting for color television.

You tell that to all the kids at school.

Thank you.

Up around the neck, please.

You gonna ask him to pay for his room and board?

No!

Why not?

Cause you just don't do things like that.

That's why not.

Maybe you don't, but I do.

He's got the whole house on its ear, and he eats like a horse.

The way he eats, he ought to be eight feet tall.

Now, look.

I'm running this house, and what I say goes.

Oh, it does, doesn't it?

Yes, and I say he stays.

And I say he goes.

And I say he... Hey!

Could you please not talk so loud?

Uncle Geechee's trying to sleep.

Well, this is it, kid.

Our grand opening.

Good luck, Geechee.

And good luck to you too, Freddie.

Before we're through, we'll have a chain of stations clear around the world.

The sun will never set on Cheevers and Klopp.

They just keep whizzing by.

Yeah.

Geechee?

Uh-huh.

You know the mortgage on the house?

Yes.

Well, if I miss a payment, will the bank get a little unpleasant?

Please, will you, kid?

Stop worrying.

I told you, the Geechee's on your side.

Good, good morning, ladies.

There we are.

Thank you.

I think nothing of it.

Oh, this is a surprise.

What is?

Well, we'd hoped our first customers would be females, but

didn't dare dream they'd be two charming ladies such as yourself.

Freddie, boy.

Freddie, windshield, please.

Oh, just a minute, young man.

Oh, don't worry.

We'll take over from here.

I suppose you want us to fill it up, right?

No.

We filled it up just this morning.

We're on our way to League City for the day.

It was so warm driving.

We just stopped in to freshen up a bit.

Well, our restrooms are the cleanest on the boulevard.

Right this way, please.

Thank you.

Too bad we didn't know about your station, young man.

That's right.

We could have come here.

Don't give it another thought, ladies.

I'm sure that we'll have the pleasure of serving you in the very near future.

We'll... We'll be here for a very long, long time.

Freddie.

Freddie, where'd that hound come from?

I don't know.

Well, don't you think you ought to get him out of the driveway?

Why?

Where could he be safer?

Come on, come on.

Oh, you better take it alone.

I'm jinxing you.

Yes, sir.

Good afternoon, sir.

And how many gallons would you like?

Which way to Hitchcock?

Hitchcock?

Yeah, yeah, Hitchcock.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Klopp, would you bring this gentleman one of our maps, please?

This is a fine car you have here.

Huh?

A gem among motors.

A tribute to the memory of the late and great Henry Ford.

Do you know the way to Hitchcock?

Hitchcock?

Well... Oh, here's the map, sir.

Let's see.

Hitchcock, there are various roads you can take to get there.

While I'm making a route for you, suppose my assistant makes a

a precision check of your inflation pressures.

Huh?

He wants to know if he wants a mayor.

No, I need directions.

I just want to get to Hitchcock.

I want to see my brother-in-law about the eight dollars he owes me.

You stay on Clary here, sir.

That's it.

Clary till you get the Fowley.

That leads right into the main street.

You can't miss it.

Huh?

Here, you take this with our compliments.

Oh, I think.

Trouble?

It wasn't till I come in here.

You need gas.

Gas?

Yes, yes.

I need gas.

Oh, what luck.

Can you imagine running out of gas right here in a gas station?

Just five gallons.

Say, that's special, ain't it?

Yes, sir.

I don't need no special.

Regular is good enough for me.

That's all I need and that's all I'm paying for.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me.

That's my mistake, sir.

I'm sorry.

I'll, uh... I'll just give you a shot of the regular here then.

Let's see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's more like it.

Hey, nobody can fool me when it comes to gasoline.

I got my nose to train for it.

It's quite a nose to train.

Eh?

What'd you say?

I say it, uh... It looks like rain.

Rain?

I don't know it ain't gonna rain.

No, I-I use my knee for that.

There we are, sir.

It'll be a dollar twenty-seven.

A dollar twenty-seven, eh?

Yeah, there's a dollar and twenty-seven.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

Thank you and call again, sir.

Hang.

Oh, that was a close one.

One customer and they tried to kill him.

Well, it slowed him down for a little, anyway.

Fourteen locations and we had to pick this one.

Uh, say, Freddie, have we got any more of that red paint left?

Red paint?

Yeah, what?

I have an idea.

So, then the economic pressure was really on and I suppose

that's what caused the collapse of the gold standard.

When's Freddie coming home?

Oh, he's closing up tonight, Emily.

I open up the first thing in the morning.

It's the stagger system.

All of the big companies use it.

Yeah.

Hey, it's getting late, Tommy.

Time for bed.

Right away, Mom.

But first, Uncle Geach is gonna tell me a story.

He promised.

I did promise him, Emily.

All right, but make it snappy.

All right, I will.

Well, what do you want to hear?

Johnny and the Trains.

Johnny and the Trains.

Oh, boy, that's one of my favorites, too.

Well, once upon a time, there was a little boy

named Johnny and he lived up in Connecticut.

Only they didn't call him Johnny, they called him JP.

Oh, JP, that's right, excuse me.

And little JP, he loved all of the nice things of life.

He loved collie dogs and he loved fireworks and he liked choo-choo trains.

He particularly liked choo-choo trains, so his father bought him a set of trains.

His father bought him the New York, Hartford, New Haven, the Northern Pacific,

Chesapeake, and Ohio.

And he played with them, didn't he?

Oh, yes, he loved to play with the trains.

But then he got tired of them, so he said to Dad, I want my allowance

money because I want to buy some other things.

What other things?

Things like steel mills and banks and oil wells.

Oh, he had a grand time.

Yes, little old Johnny Pierpont Morgan really knew how to live.

But he didn't spend money for show.

No, he had restrained taste.

Yes, sir, he really knew how to live.

He lived the life of an unostentatious gentleman on a majestic scale.

You're gonna wait for coffee, aren't you?

No, thanks.

Gotta hurry.

Geech is down there alone.

Let him work a little.

It'll do him good.

What's that on your pants?

Red paint.

Geech had an idea.

What kind of an idea?

Well, the cars kept racing by the station, so Geech

decided to put up a couple of stop signs, see?

And then the cars will drive up, stop, see

the station, and drive in and buy some gas.

Stop signs?

Uh-huh.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

If the police wanted stop signs on that corner, they would have put them there.

Well, they should have put them there.

That's a very dangerous intersection.

Besides, Geech says who knows who tells who where to put those things up.

You must be crazy.

You let him mortgage the house out from under us.

He's got Tommy reading the Wall Street Journal instead of doing his homework.

I've got to feed him and wash his clothes.

And now you're going to let him fix it so

that you spend the rest of your life in jail.

You wait right here.

I'm going down to that station with you.

Let's go, kid.

I need you.

Atta boy, Fred.

Yes, sir.

What do you have?

Fill her up.

Yes, sir.

You own this gas station?

My partner and I.

Cheevers and Kopp.

Freddy Kopp's my name.

Glad I know you.

Hi.

Oh, it's you again.

How did you find me?

Just lucky, I guess.

Getting a lot of neighborhood business?

Yes, sir.

There seems to be a housing development about two miles down that way.

I guess you get a lot of customers off the highway too, huh?

Well, I can't complain.

Yeah.

You seem to be doing all right.

Why fight it, my dear?

It's bigger than both of us.

Don't say you're sorry.

I can see it in your eyes.

Just you and the other boy handle all the work alone, huh?

That's right.

No other help.

Well, we might have to take a man on that pretty soon.

Uh-huh.

Fill her up.

Yes, sir.

How does it look, Mr. White?

Pretty good.

What do you think?

Yeah.

Available?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pretty good.

That'll be two dollars even, sir.

Boy, am I glad it's going to happen to you.

Hey, Geech!

Wasn't that the... Boy, she looked awful mad.

Uh, she'll be back.

Different customers, different techniques.

I gotta hand it to you, Geech.

Looks like we're in.

Well, this is only the beginning, Freddie boy.

Advertising plus merchandising plus service must equal success.

Geech, he knew what he was talking about.

For the next few weeks, it went like a dream.

Not that we were getting rich or anything, but

our clientele was starting to repeat and build.

Geech, he didn't know anything about repairing cars, but women.

Well, he said that dame wouldn't be able to stay away from them.

Hi.

Hi.

Mind if I use the ladies' room?

Oh, not at all.

It's right over there.

Strange.

Hey, Geech.

She's back.

Oh, you know that dame.

General Motors, sixty-six and a half, up one and a quarter.

To be sure.

Well, well, well.

Anyone for channel swimming?

Keep making the jokes, doll.

You'll need a laugh when the roof falls in.

My dear, if you've come in search of employment,

we'll be glad to examine your qualifications.

I've got employment.

That was the day the roof fell in.

It looked like they meant business.

Our business.

We were dead.

Now and then, we'd get a nearsighted old lady who couldn't see the price signs.

Or a guy who didn't like dames in tight pants.

One of the kids got sick and to pay the doctor bill, I had to sell my motorcycle.

When I told Emily, she'd cried.

I couldn't sleep nights.

Me, I could always go on relief or live out of the candy machine, but not my family.

The Geech was swell about that.

He kept making me take his share of the so-called profits.

I didn't want to, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

I was all for throwing in the sponge, but Geechie hung on like a bulldog.

I've been arguing this idea around for two years.

They'll never do it.

Gentlemen, can we help you at anything?

No, thanks.

What's the difference?

They ask for a report, we give it to them.

Well, I figured they'll end up settling for an extension.

Eddie's right.

That's just what they'll do.

You need some gas or oil?

We're just closing up, fellas.

No, thanks, buddy.

That's the only thing we don't need.

We've got trucks full.

Say, do you want a drink?

No, thanks.

Why do they use us for this chicken detail?

Well, what's the difference?

We turn in the report.

Like always, they'll file it away someplace and forget it.

Well, I don't mean to butt into you fellas' business, but what's going on?

Nothing, bud.

Nothing?

You're standing here in our driveway.

This happens to be our station.

It's got nothing to do with the station.

You fellas are gasmen, huh?

Yeah, we're linemen for the Magna Gold Oil Company.

Linemen?

What do you mean linemen?

We repair the line.

What line?

Gasoline line.

Well, the cracking plant's about seven miles out.

We've got a line that runs from there right down Clary to the harbor.

You mean that there's gas going through a line like water or something like that?

Yeah, it's pumping through down there right under your feet.

Under here?

Let's go, Eddie.

Okay.

You mean the gas is in the pipe now, going right along?

Right.

Six feet under.

250,000 gallons a day.

250,000.

What's with you?

Did you hear what the guy said?

Sure, something to do with an extension or something.

So what?

What's that got to do with us?

250,000 gallons a day.

Geech, I hope you're not thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking.

Under our feet.

Oh, Geech.

Wait a minute.

Geech, no.

No, no.

Wait a minute.

Geech, no, no, no, no.

Geech!

Geech!

No!

I

Forgot to tell you something, Freddy.

It says here in the book that we've got to

shore up the sides so that the wall doesn't...

Cave in.

Fred, boy.

Freddy?

That doesn't...

That doesn't... Take it easy now.

I'll go.

Relax, Fred, boy.

I can't do it.

I tell you, I just can't do it.

That gas doesn't belong to us.

All right, all right.

Listen.

So it doesn't belong to us.

Where are they gonna get the oil?

Out of the ground, right?

Where are we gonna get the oil out of the ground?

Yeah, but you're talking like a crook or something.

I'm talking like a 100% American who loves his country and the things in its ground.

Look, America belongs to people, Freddy.

Remember that.

Yes, when I'm sitting in the clink, I'll remember it.

It just isn't honest.

What's honest?

Losing your family, your house?

Is that honest?

Oh, no, but I... All right, you fought hard to defend this country.

Look, I'm not asking for myself, but it's for your family, for Emily, the kids.

They're depending on you.

You're not gonna let them down, are you, Freddy?

Huh?

Mary Ellen, little Tom O'Emily.

Television, Freddy.

You got me, Geech.

Yeah, go on.

That's using your hand, boy.

If you've ever been down to Galveston, maybe you know the ground.

It's kind of a gray-colored clay, and when it's dry, it's hot as a rock.

Geechie stayed on his toes.

We rigged up a buzzer system, and I knew if anything went wrong, he'd let me know.

It took a long time.

Geechie took luck out.

All we needed was to get caught.

It was bad enough when the cars went over, but when the trucks came by...

We kept thinking up excuses to tell Emily.

Sometimes she believed them.

Then one day, after three long weeks, I heard a humming noise.

Then I hit the pipe.

Ray, let's go, boy.

Wait a minute, Geech.

Let's talk about this some more.

What's to talk about?

You tap the line, we get the gas.

It's not as easy as all that.

Have you ever seen some of those oil men working on that stuff?

Don't you trust me, Freddie?

Have you seen them?

No, but I know what they do.

Well, I have.

There are about 20 guys in asbestosuits, and there were

fire engines for 100 miles waiting for an emergency.

There'll be no emergency.

Have you ever seen them?

They're equipped for this sort of stuff.

All right, so our equipment is a little small.

So what?

So what?

So we'll be blown right out of the ground.

That's what's a what.

You hurt me, Freddie.

Oh, I... Yes, you do.

You hurt me.

I didn't mean to.

You don't trust me.

You've got to learn to trust me.

You've got to trust me.

Do you understand that?

Now, here, take that and get down there, will you please?

Let's go.

That's a boy.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Get down there.

That's using your head.

That a boy.

How you going down there?

Here we come.

Keep going, Fred boy.

Wait a minute, Geach.

Huh?

I never even finished high school, but I do know you

don't put an electric drill into a pipe full of gasoline.

Oh, knock it off, will you?

Keep going.

I tell you, they just don't mix.

Will you shut up, please, Freddie, and keep going?

It's bad enough to be stuck down here.

Now, listen.

Listen.

When you get the drill through the hole

there, through the pipe, you shut it off, see?

Because we want to watch out for the sparks, right?

Sparks?

Yes, sparks!

Now, go on and get up there.

You sure you want to do this?

Go, go, go, go.

Do it.

Be careful, man.

Be careful, Scott!

That's right.

Keep going, Fred!

No!

Oh!

Stop!

Oh!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Wait a minute!

What the fuck!

Put the gas!

We're too fast!

Wait a minute!

Drop off, Matt!

We're quiet!

Put the glass on!

We made it!

What do you think about that?

Freddie, you never dreamed of it, did you?

That's a boy!

You can sit there.

We made it!

We made it!

Oh, look, look!

We're a couple of cock-type missionaries!

How are you, Sal?

Oh, where have you been?

Same place.

From there, I get a good look at your new signs.

Oh, like them?

Yeah, real pretty, but Mr. White won't like them at all.

Who's Mr. White?

The man I work for.

He only manages a circle star chain, that's all.

Oh, you mean the sharp type that was with you in the Chrysler the other day?

The sharp type will make you wish you were never born.

Tell me the truth, Bev.

Whatever started you working for a guy like that?

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Drop by any time!

Never too busy to say, howdy!

How

do you like that, bright boy?

That's unfair!

It's unethical!

You can't do that to us!

We're up, Freddy boy.

I guess we're gonna meet Mr. White.

You know I like that girl, Freddy.

Well, there's a lot of it to like.

No, no, not only that.

I mean, she's got a real passion for money.

I like it.

I wish she worked for us.

Well!

Well, good morning, sir.

Good morning.

Glad to see you.

Did you get the Hitchcock okay?

Yes.

Hey, is that sign marked proper?

Yes, sir.

Oh, yes, it is.

All right, son.

Give me a couple of gallons.

A couple of gallons, yes, sir.

A regular?

Regular, yes, sir.

Is that regular?

Yes, sir.

That ain't the same gasoline you had in that pump the last time.

Well, uh, it is, it is the regular, sir.

It's pretty high-octane content.

I can spot it right off.

Got a nose for gasoline.

Well, there we go.

That'll be 40 cents, please.

Well, I say, that's, uh, pretty good quality for that price.

We aim to please.

Call again.

You will.

Goodbye.

I don't like this.

Now, take it easy, will you, please?

I still don't like it.

Nighttime, if someone with a nose for gasoline comes snooping around back there,

they'll discover... Relax.

Relax.

Just relax, will you, please?

If it'll make you feel any better, I'll sleep all night in the station.

Now, what?

In the station?

Right in the station.

Anything for a friend.

Oh, Mr. Chivas, you amaze me.

You stick with me, kid, and I'll bury in diamonds.

Here comes Mr. Bight.

No gas, boys.

May I check your oil, then, sir?

No, hey, you, boy.

Leave that windshield alone.

That's a service we give to all of our customers.

You heard me.

Leave it alone.

Are you the other partner?

Yes, sir, I am.

What's that sign supposed to be?

A joke?

A sign?

That's no joke, sir.

That's just a sign.

You know who I am?

Yes, sir.

You're Mr. White, the fellow that owns 14 stations.

Fifteen.

And that means I can afford to run that station at

a loss because I can make up for it on the others.

I can squeeze you boys right out of business.

Okay.

Okay.

What kind of an answer is that, okay?

Okay.

Go ahead and squeeze.

What's this winking stuff?

Do you want me to bankrupt you or do you want to talk about it?

I don't think there's anything to talk about, Mr. White.

My partner here came into quite a sum of money

through an inheritance from an old granddad back east.

Actually, we're just in this business for the fun of it.

The fun of it?

Yeah, that's right.

We're what you call the dilettantes of the gasoline business.

Is that true?

How far do you think you can carry this price cutting business?

Just as far as you want to go, White.

This is our corner.

You moved in on us.

We'll sell gasoline here if we have to sell it for a penny a gallon.

You're bluffing.

Just try us.

That's all.

Just a bunch of wise guy kids.

Try us.

I do no good.

Watch your language.

We run a nice, clean station here and this is a married man.

The war was on.

Beverly didn't like it.

Why?

Because we were winning.

I got my motorcycle back.

I began thinking about a television set.

I have to admit I got a kick out of it because no matter how low they went,

we could always go lower.

And it was all clear profit.

Geech!

Look!

Oh boy!

They're going out of business.

You know what that means, don't you?

It means we've smashed the cartel.

It means that we can put our prices back to normal again.

We can stop looking so suspicious we can go straight.

Wait a minute.

Are you suggesting that we disconnect the line?

Sure.

We've got a golden goose and you want to cut its head off?

It's not honest.

We've got a faucet.

You turn it on and you get money comes out of it.

You understand?

Green stuff.

Power, Freddy.

Money.

It's against the law.

You understand that.

Listen to me.

In Fortune Magazine there was a guy who's got 150 bucks.

See?

He wants to buy some surplus ships from the government.

The government says okay and quotes him a price of 10 cents on the dollar.

Now where does he get the money to make the down payment?

I don't know.

He borrows the money from the government.

What does he do after he's got the ships?

He rents the ships back to the government.

This guy's got 150 dollars, builds it up to 3 million dollars.

And who does he pay taxes to?

The government?

Wrong.

Incorporated in some South American country.

He pays taxes to nobody.

Nobody.

Yeah, this guy pulls a deal off like that and they call him an economic titan.

Freddy, we're not stealing money.

We're just practicing to become titans, that's all.

Yeah, but that ships, Geech.

You can't steal gas out of another man's lungs.

Are you with me or are you against me?

Are we gonna go down separate highways?

Well, I'm with you, Geech.

But don't you understand what I'm trying to say is you...

Look, look, I've been taking it over lately.

Maybe we will cut off the line real soon.

Look, suppose we had a warehouse full of egg feeders.

You wouldn't stand outside in front of the

door and sell them one at a time, would you?

No.

Not one at a time.

You'd wholesale them.

That's what we're gonna do.

Maybe go into the wholesaling business.

We contact a lot of independents just like our self.

Figure out a way to truck the gasoline into them.

That way we're gonna make a lot of scratch, a lot of money.

Real folding money.

Don't you see?

That's using the old noodle.

The dynamic.

That's marching in tune with the times.

Good.

And another thing.

I've been thinking about Beverly.

I'm sorry she lost her job.

Why?

Well, seeing as how we're the only station in this vicinity...

Maybe we could use some more help.

You know, she's awful attractive.

She lives at 561 Ender Street.

Why don't you go down there and ask her if she needs a job?

I'll hold the fort down here.

561?

561.

That's all right.

Not so fast.

You don't have to be such a pig.

Mary Ellen.

Look, Mom.

There goes a motorcycle just like that.

Welcome, beautiful.

The boy a millionaire tells me you want me to work here.

Is that right?

Uh-huh.

How come?

I like you.

But I don't like you and you know it.

Now, what's the real reason?

Oh, I like your mercenary quality.

You've got dollar bill signs in your eyes.

What else?

The what else will come later.

Do you want the job?

How much?

You name it.

All right.

Same as Mr. White Pay.

You've got it.

We're using the first tank here and the cash register's in sight.

We're gonna go away for a few minutes.

You think you can hold the fort down?

Sure.

Hey, your partner married?

Oh, Freddie?

Yeah, sure.

Why?

Just checking.

Oh, I sure could use a millionaire.

I love those dollar bill signs.

We had something like that, Freddie boy.

We could really wholesale.

Oh, forget it, Geech.

Yeah, I guess a thing like that would cost us a fortune.

But that's not gonna stop us, kid.

I can see it now.

Our office would be in the Cheevers and Klopp building.

Our oil wells would be in Cheever City and our refineries would be in Kloptown.

Oh, now, Geech.

Yeah, we'd have Cheevers and Klopp tankers on the sea

and Cheevers and Klopp trucks like these on the highways.

In the meantime, kid, we'll make this pie wagon do.

Once your blind decides, we can haul enough gasoline in it to make a start.

What a start.

What are you doing?

It's the middle of the night.

We got work to do, Geech and me.

What about that girl in the red pants?

Is she an early bird, too?

Oh, now, don't start that again.

Well, you never had to work in the middle of the night before.

I never had a business of my own before.

There's plenty of work to it.

I'll bet there is.

Have a good time.

Bye.

Front and center, Freddy boy.

We got the gas.

Let's deliver it.

We're on our way.

Hey, Geech!

Geech!

Stop, Geech!

What

kind of a stop was that?

A stop, stop.

What do you want?

A chorus of mammy?

A fine buyer we made.

No motor, no brakes.

I had the brakes cleaned down on the floor.

Well, they're probably wet.

Wet?

Probably wet.

They are wet.

With gasoline, it's all pouring down.

We forgot to line the inside of the roof.

Well, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it.

Look, we'll have it fixed next time out.

Next time out?

There won't be any next time out.

All I need is one touch... All I need, get into the car, will you?

Mumbling.

You're driving me crazy.

Never mind about what'll go up.

Just get in there.

You're making me nervous.

Come in here and do it.

You're causing a lot of... That's a second memory song.

Hey, Geach!

What are you doing over there?

Ah, I'm right here!

Ah!

What are you trying to do?

Kill me?

How could it do that?

I told you the chains...

And I have no brakes... And the gas is seeping down over the sides.

Well, it'll evaporate.

The next time you want to stop, honk your horn.

I'm getting punchy.

Would you like to trade places with me?

I certainly would.

If it wasn't for this strict knee of mine, you know that.

I'll get in front of you and slow you down.

That's it, Geach.

I'm done for.

Don't worry about it, kid.

Remember, you're with me.

That's why I'm done for.

Well, well, Lieutenant, sir.

What could the trouble be?

You tell me.

Well, I can't imagine, sir.

We weren't speeding or anything like that, sir.

No, no, sir.

Let me see your license.

Yes.

Yes, sir.

Right here.

Yes, sir.

There it is, sir.

Look at that.

Huh?

See anything wrong?

Uh, no.

No, sir.

You're driving this thing, whatever it is.

And you've got no rear plate on it.

That's against the law, boys.

Rear plate?

Freddie, well... Can you imagine that?

We're usually very conscientious about that, sir.

Yes, sir.

Both of us.

Oh, what a beautiful motorcycle you have there, officer.

Yes, you belong to the Texas Motorcycle Club?

By chance, sir?

Yeah.

Huh?

Well, can you imagine that?

My partner belongs to the Texas Motorcycle Club also.

Don't you, huh?

The Texas Motorcycle Club.

You belong to it, don't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's a call down this coincidence.

I've got... Ever since I got out of the army, I belong to it.

I got the card.

There's the card.

We've always wanted to become policemen ourselves, sir.

The policemen.

Yes, sir.

Ever since we were little fellas, we... Little.

Both of us.

We wanted to live outdoors and live a real man's life.

What's the matter?

Couldn't you pass the exam?

I was wounded, officer.

In the South Pacific.

Twice.

That's too bad.

Look, I'm just gonna give you a warning this time, see?

Yeah.

But get that rear plate and be careful in the future.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Thank you, sergeant.

Thank you, lieutenant, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Yes.

It's the gasoline fumes that get you down.

Uh-huh.

If you get so, you smell it all the time.

Maybe the lieutenant will show you the gadgets on his motorcycle.

The gadgets on his motorcycle.

Let me rest, will you, fellas?

You boys might not believe this, but right this minute, the air...

The same air you're breathing smells like solid gasoline to me.

It does, huh?

Funny?

This doesn't help a bit.

Uh-huh.

That's funny.

Look, you fellas.

Don't get the idea life on the force is any tea party.

We work hard, see?

Plenty hard.

That's why the force picks the best, I guess.

Right.

All day and all night, we try to keep people from killing themselves on the highway.

But does John Q.

Public appreciate what we do?

Not on your life.

To them, we're a bunch of overgrown truant officers in blue uniforms.

Uh-huh.

Well, that shows you what they know.

When they're in trouble, they yell.

And if we're not there in two seconds, headlines in the papers.

Police stupidity.

Yeah, well, it's always that way.

Well, so long, boys.

Remember, next time I'll hang one on you.

So be careful.

Ow!

I'm sorry.

Ow!

Now you'll get that television set.

Like you can see, business was pretty good.

But no matter what anyone says, dirty money comes hard.

Geechee says it's like salt water.

Get enough of it and it purifies itself.

But I can tell you I didn't feel very pure.

I didn't feel pure at all.

Geechee told me to stop worrying, to relax.

That with labor comes profits, and with profits comes rewards,

and with rewards comes...

Get a load of this, Geechee's a pretty interesting girl.

I'm gonna show little Tommy here the principal behind the building of Boulder Dam.

A monument to human ingenuity, the science of construction.

There's some pretty nice construction over here.

I'm not interested in people perspiring to prove they're monkey's cousins.

Where did you learn that?

This Mary's dancing school, two lessons a week, a dollar a lesson.

You were wonderful.

Thanks, Emily.

What's up with the boys?

They're sulking, jealous of all those muscle hounds.

Freddie won't take his shirt off, and Geechee has his nose in a dam.

I have to give you credit.

Why?

I never thought Geechee could love anybody but Geechee.

But you're running a close second.

Pray for me, Emily.

I think I'm stuck on him.

I'll pray for you every night.

I'll have to admit, he grows on you.

Yeah, they say romances are made in heaven.

Whatever angel fashion, this one sure had a sense of humor.

Hi.

Do you like taking a little walk?

Sure you've got time?

Sure.

Go ask Mom for the marmalade.

And on the way back, get that little bottle of ants.

It's in my sweater.

This is a cinch.

I've been studying it.

Geechee.

A simple problem in physics, an interrelationship of the law of inertia and motion.

Now, Geechee.

All you need is just good timing.

You don't need a massive moldy muscle.

Oh, but why bother?

We both know you can do it.

Just you watch the Geechee in a demonstration of mind over matter.

Are you ready for the ants?

Not yet.

Tommy, how many times have I told you it's a sin to waste food?

Oh, Mom.

What's the matter, Tommy?

It's Mom.

And I worked so hard.

It was a surprise for you.

Mommies are like that, always spoiling the fun.

Geechee, don't!

Oh!

Geechee!

You were doing just great.

All you needed was a little more practice.

Well, you know the old saying, practice makes perfect.

I was talking to Emily today.

She's a nice girl.

She said she's going to pray for me.

Yes, she is a nice girl.

Freddie's a nice fella, too.

Freddie's a lot like I am.

He has integrity.

You a millionaire, too?

Nope.

I'm irresistible.

And you're such a liar.

Liar?

Me?

Emily told me Freddie's no millionaire.

No rich grandfather.

But I don't blame me.

You can't help it.

You're just a natural born liar.

Well, that's a corny way of showing me that you're a nice girl.

That's my way.

Now, wait a minute.

I know it's the human thing to do to try and resist the irresistible.

Thanks.

And Bev, if after you go in, if it'll make you happy

and you want to sneak a little peek at me, why go ahead.

Remember, the irresistible...

Some guys in Geechee's spot would have gotten themselves the biggest,

the best new car.

But not Geech.

He got what he always wanted.

A distinguished old Rolls Royce.

And he took Beverly out every night.

This is the life I was born and bred for.

But I'm afraid I was born and bred a little bit too late.

But with the tax situation the way it is, opportunity doesn't knock any longer,

it barely whispers.

I'm afraid the day of the robber baron is over, Beverly.

You really like this crummy old jalopy, don't you?

You're a real weirdy, Mr. Cheevers.

But you're crazy about me, true?

You know, Bev, I've been trying to avoid this all of my life, but

the spell is on me.

My spell?

Well, I thought we might become engaged and after

a polite length of time we might get married.

You know, I thought I'd like to have some kids to carry on the name of Cheevers.

Geechee.

What do you say?

There's something missing.

The stone?

No, it's there, it's a little small, but I'll give

it replaced as soon as something breaks for me.

No, not the stone.

What is it?

You're supposed to say you love me and ask me to marry you.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Asking.

Asking.

What?

And then, and then I showed her the ring.

You should have seen the look on her face.

Yeah, I saw the way she was acting around here.

She's in love.

You're a lucky guy, Geech.

Here, Spider.

Here, Spider.

Your mama almost forgot your dinner.

Spider, what's the matter, boy?

Hey, Fred, give me that wrench, will you please?

Bev!

Bev, what are you doing here?

Putting two and two together.

So this is Freddy's rich grandfather.

This is the way you won the price war.

Now, now, now look, Bev.

You look right, boy.

Someday somebody's going to catch you at it.

And when they do, I hope they lock you up and throw away the key.

Now that's no way to talk.

I'm gonna be your future husband.

Husband?

I wouldn't marry you if you were the last crook in the world.

Now what do we do?

Better disconnect the hose.

I gotta get straightened out with her.

You mean it, Geech?

Yeah, haven't I told you all along that honesty is the best policy?

Oh, that's great.

They're Geech, trapped by a woman's love.

Shorn like Samson with his haircut.

Take care of them, will you?

Tell them we're closed.

Yeah, okay.

Sorry, fellas, we're closed.

You, uh, you the boss here?

That's right.

The place is closed.

Uh-huh.

Can't get any gas?

No gas.

We close the pumps every night.

How about the money?

Money?

Keep it down, wise guy.

Get inside.

Any more?

Friscom.

Hey, Fred!

Bring me a drink, will ya?

Who's that?

My partner.

Partner.

Do what he says.

Us two.

Straws.

Straws.

Come on.

Now you.

It's on us, pal.

Start walking.

Watch out.

You fellas can't come back here.

My partner will take care of you out in front.

He already did, wise guy.

Frisk him.

Come on, Eddie.

Let's get out of here.

Frisk him.

We got time.

Oh, wait a minute.

You don't have to frisk me.

Because we've kept all...

Take the money.

Take anything I got.

But don't smoke.

Keep your mouth shut, wise.

Keep your mouth shut.

He's clean, Eddie.

Let's get out of here.

Okay, okay.

Now listen, clucks.

No tricks.

Or we'll come back and blow your heads off.

Savvy?

Hey, will you, Savvy?

Okay.

Look out.

We better call the fire department.

We don't want to hear about this.

I wouldn't be surprised if they heard about it already.

Our ex-facial, be on the lookout for two men.

They may be armed.

These two men are responsible for the hold-up

and shooting at the Central Savings Bank.

Notify Galveston, please, at once.

That is all.

We were running out of money and everything else.

We kept hiding from the law, but no one seemed to miss us with a care.

Geechee was getting sore about that.

Then one night, Geechee found it.

A little item way in the back.

It said about the explosion and the fire, and that was all.

Nothing about us.

Geech knew I was thinking about Emily and the kids.

I knew he was thinking about Beverly.

So we decided to do something about it.

Fred, listen.

Let me do all the talking, will you, please?

After all, it was all my idea.

No, I'm in just as deep as you are.

But you've got kids to think about.

I knew what I was doing.

Look, just keep your mouth shut.

Is it a deal?

No more deals, Geech.

We'll play it my way.

I'll do the talking.

They're closed!

Captain, we're Cheevers and Klopp.

Who?

Cheevers and Klopp, we want to give ourselves up.

For what?

It's about the robbery.

What was stolen?

Gasoline.

What did you say your name was?

Gasoline.

Freddie.

Freddie Klopp.

This is Augustus Cheevers.

The crime took place at a gasoline station on the corner of Clary and Dacre.

Does the owner of the station know about this?

We own the station.

Oh.

Well, the gas was stolen from you.

No, sir.

From the Magna Gold Oil Company.

Out of their pipeline.

When was it?

Two weeks ago.

Oh.

Far and D, yeah.

Yeah.

Two hot rod kids stuck up the station.

We picked them up the same night.

They're doing time.

They had nothing to do with... Oh, you picked them up, Captain, did you?

Well, that is fine work.

Come on, Freddie, let's go.

No, wait a minute now.

We came to give ourselves up.

We're going to do it now.

They had nothing to do with our crime.

What crime?

That's what I'm trying to tell you about the pipeline.

I don't think that the captain cares to hear of it, Fred.

Come.

What pipeline?

The Magna Gold Oil Company's pipeline.

We dug a tunnel in our supply room six feet down and 60 feet across.

In your own station?

Yes.

But it was there gasoline.

So what's that got to do with us?

What?

You're confusing the captain here, Freddie.

That's what I'm trying to tell you, Captain.

We're wandered by the police.

It says here there was an explosion.

The station burned down.

We know that.

But please, Captain, honest.

We're wandered.

We're criminals.

Freddie, don't cheapen yourself.

All right, you guys.

We'll get this straightened out.

We will?

Just so the girls were there, that was all that mattered.

They looked awful pretty.

And someone else we knew was there.

When we got to court, that nice old gink, turned out

he was a troubleshooter for the Magna Gold Oil Company.

It seems that when you sell more gas than you buy, someone's bound to get suspicious.

The old gink said a lot of things, but the most important was...

Them boys were lucky they didn't rent a tank truck instead of that pie wagon.

That way they could have stolen enough gasoline

each time to get them into real serious trouble.

And it was a lot of trouble.

Guess they're just lucky they got little minds and can't think big.

The old gink hurt Geechee's feelings.

But it turned out to be pretty good for us because the judge said...

If you had undertaken this crime in a business-like manner, you would have

stolen enough gasoline each time so that you'd

have a series of grand larceny charges against you.

And I could have sent you to the penitentiary

as an example to others who might be tempted.

But I can only pronounce sentence in the full measure of the law.

You are hereby ordered to repay the money stolen from the Magna Gold Oil Company.

And further, commencing on August 17th, you

will each serve six months in the county jail.

Well, we got a little time off for good behavior.

And it was a good lesson to us.

During the time we were away, the girls opened this place.

And since we're out, we've been working for them.

Emily's swell.

She hasn't actually forgiven me, but she and Beverly

have almost paid back all the money we stole.

Geechee isn't very happy.

Beverly says she won't think of marrying him until he gets the money.

And he says, how's he gonna get any money as long as he's working for her?

I'm going outside for a while.

It's kind of hot back there.

Could Geechee and me have a glass of beer?

No.

Quit asking.

I've told you 50 times, no.

Sorry, Geechee.

No beer.

Looks like it's gonna be a long, dry summer.

Think so?

Mr. Cheevis, you amaze me.

The END