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1
00:00:06,461 --> 00:00:09,058
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
2
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,807
? I'm going down
to south park?
3
00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:12,547
? Gonna have
myself a time?
4
00:00:12,582 --> 00:00:14,217
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
5
00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:15,550
? Humble folks
without temptation?
6
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:16,849
? Going down
to south park?
7
00:00:17,281 --> 00:00:19,013
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
8
00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:20,710
? Ample parking
day or night?
9
00:00:20,745 --> 00:00:22,476
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
10
00:00:22,511 --> 00:00:24,008
? Headed on up
to south park?
11
00:00:24,043 --> 00:00:25,505
? Gonna see if
i can't unwind?
12
00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:30,416
? So come on down
to south park?
13
00:00:30,451 --> 00:00:31,865
? And meet some
friends of mine?
14
00:00:33,396 --> 00:00:34,261
Mom! Mom!
15
00:00:34,694 --> 00:00:35,560
Mom, seriously!
16
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:36,859
Something wonderful
has happened!
17
00:00:36,894 --> 00:00:37,690
What is it, snookums?
18
00:00:37,725 --> 00:00:38,806
Mom, look-
The tooth fairy!
19
00:00:38,841 --> 00:00:39,888
I put a tooth
under my pillow
20
00:00:39,923 --> 00:00:41,152
And she gave me $2.00!
21
00:00:41,187 --> 00:00:42,485
She's only given me
a lousy quarter before!
22
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,182
Oh my, she must
think that
23
00:00:44,216 --> 00:00:46,381
You are a very
special little muffin.
24
00:00:46,416 --> 00:00:48,112
Yeah, this
isso tits!
25
00:00:48,545 --> 00:00:49,808
Don't say
"tits", eric.
26
00:00:49,843 --> 00:00:51,539
Oh, i mean,
this is so cool!
27
00:00:51,574 --> 00:00:53,306
Well, perhaps now
you should take that money
28
00:00:53,341 --> 00:00:54,604
And open up
a savings account
29
00:00:55,037 --> 00:00:56,301
That has compounded
daily interest.
30
00:00:56,336 --> 00:00:58,716
Heh, you can compound
daily my ass with interest, mom
31
00:00:58,751 --> 00:01:01,097
I'm goin' to the toy store,
and buy me a skateboard.
32
00:01:01,131 --> 00:01:02,793
But eric, i think maybe
33
00:01:02,828 --> 00:01:04,126
The tooth fairy wants you
to use that money
34
00:01:04,559 --> 00:01:05,822
To learn about saving.
35
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,372
Mom, you don't know
what the tooth fairy
36
00:01:07,407 --> 00:01:08,887
Wants me to do
with this money, okay?
37
00:01:08,922 --> 00:01:09,753
You're not
the tooth fairy!
38
00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:11,017
I'll see you later.
39
00:01:11,052 --> 00:01:13,180
Oh man,
this is so tits!
40
00:01:13,215 --> 00:01:14,911
You guys, you're not
gonna believe this!
41
00:01:14,946 --> 00:01:17,544
Oh my god, you guys! Just wait
'til you hear this, you guys!
42
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,141
I'm rich! I'm totally rich!
Aren't you stoked?
43
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:21,439
What the hell's
wrong with cartman?
44
00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:22,737
He's fat
and he's stupid?
45
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,467
Look at what the tooth fairy
left me last night!
46
00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:26,633
$2.Oo!
47
00:01:26,668 --> 00:01:27,464
No way!
48
00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:28,364
For one tooth?
49
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,628
For one tooth!
50
00:01:29,663 --> 00:01:31,394
Dude, every time i lost a
tooth, i only got a quarter.
51
00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,125
I only got a
jar of gefilte fish.
52
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:33,990
Well, that
doesn't matter,
53
00:01:34,424 --> 00:01:37,653
Because i have an idea
that is totally tits!
54
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:39,316
Totallywhat?
55
00:01:39,351 --> 00:01:40,483
Look, i don't know
why the tooth fairy
56
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:41,348
Is being
so cool to me,
57
00:01:41,781 --> 00:01:42,997
Maybe she's hot
for me, i don't know.
58
00:01:43,032 --> 00:01:44,354
But if we all
chip in with teeth,
59
00:01:44,389 --> 00:01:45,642
Then i can hide them
undermy pillow
60
00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:47,841
And we can get enough money
to buy asega dreamcast!
61
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,104
Sega dreamcast?
62
00:01:49,139 --> 00:01:50,437
All we need is teeth.
63
00:01:50,871 --> 00:01:52,169
I already lost
all my baby teeth.
64
00:01:52,204 --> 00:01:53,701
Me too!
65
00:01:53,736 --> 00:01:55,164
Uh-Uh!
66
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,497
You still have
baby teeth, kenny?
67
00:01:56,532 --> 00:01:57,328
Mph-Mmp!
68
00:01:57,363 --> 00:01:58,627
Kenny, think about it!
69
00:01:58,661 --> 00:01:59,925
Don't you want
asega dreamcast?
70
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,089
No, i don't!
Thank you
71
00:02:02,124 --> 00:02:04,288
Alright,
kenny's in, you guys!
72
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,586
Tits!
73
00:02:07,751 --> 00:02:09,049
Okay, the string
is tied to kenny's tooth,
74
00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:09,880
You ready over there?
75
00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:11,646
Almost,
you ready, timmy?
76
00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,511
Timmy!
77
00:02:12,944 --> 00:02:14,640
When i say go,
78
00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:15,975
You slam your electric wheelchair
into high gear, okay, timmy?
79
00:02:16,009 --> 00:02:16,805
Timmy!
80
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:17,921
Right, you're timmy.
81
00:02:17,956 --> 00:02:19,004
Timmy!
Gimme a-Yah!
82
00:02:19,437 --> 00:02:20,700
Mphh-Mphh...
83
00:02:20,735 --> 00:02:22,033
I'll tell you why
it has to be you, kenny.
84
00:02:22,068 --> 00:02:23,298
Because your
family is poor,
85
00:02:23,332 --> 00:02:25,029
And therefore
has bad oral hygene
86
00:02:25,064 --> 00:02:26,795
So your teeth are gonna
fall out someday, anyway.
87
00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:27,625
If you think about it,
88
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:28,742
You should actually
be thanking us.
89
00:02:28,777 --> 00:02:29,824
Oh, thank you, guys!
90
00:02:30,257 --> 00:02:31,122
You're welcome, kenny!
91
00:02:31,157 --> 00:02:32,387
F- Phk-Ymph!
92
00:02:32,422 --> 00:02:33,287
Alright,
get ready, timmy.
93
00:02:33,322 --> 00:02:34,118
Timmy!
94
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,234
Hey, guys,
what are you doin'?
95
00:02:35,269 --> 00:02:36,317
What does it
look like, butters?
96
00:02:36,352 --> 00:02:37,580
We need a tooth,
97
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,480
So we're using
timmy's wheelchair
98
00:02:38,515 --> 00:02:39,346
To pull out
one of kenny's.
99
00:02:39,779 --> 00:02:41,511
Oh, hey, i got
a loose tooth right here.
100
00:02:41,546 --> 00:02:42,376
You what?
You what?
101
00:02:42,411 --> 00:02:43,259
You what!
102
00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:44,107
Timmy!
103
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,838
Yep, one of mine came out
not two hours ago.
104
00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:47,137
Uh, butters,
could we have it?
105
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:48,401
Well, heck no,
you can't have it!
106
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,549
Why i'm gonna
stick it under my pillow
107
00:02:51,584 --> 00:02:54,662
And get money
from the tooth fairy,
108
00:02:54,928 --> 00:02:55,577
She always gives
me 50¢ a tooth!
109
00:02:55,612 --> 00:02:56,351
Well, i'll
see you, fellas!
110
00:02:56,386 --> 00:02:57,092
Dude, maybe
we don't have to
111
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:58,356
Rip a tooth
out of kenny's mouth.
112
00:02:58,391 --> 00:02:59,689
Yeah, we just have
to get butters' tooth.
113
00:02:59,724 --> 00:03:00,520
Whoo-Hoo!
114
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,420
How we gonna
get it from 'im?
115
00:03:01,853 --> 00:03:02,718
I guess we'll have to
sneak into his house
116
00:03:02,753 --> 00:03:04,017
After he goes
to sleep tonight.
117
00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:05,549
Yeah, let's go!
118
00:03:05,584 --> 00:03:07,047
Go, timmy, go!
119
00:03:08,778 --> 00:03:09,860
No, timmy, wait!
120
00:03:09,894 --> 00:03:10,942
Thing won't gimme!
121
00:03:11,375 --> 00:03:12,240
Oh!
122
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:18,733
Hey, you guys, i can see
kenny's little ping-A-Ling!
123
00:03:20,031 --> 00:03:20,464
Wa-Aaa!
124
00:03:31,285 --> 00:03:32,548
Higher, you guys!
125
00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:34,747
Christ, why did we pick
the fat guy to lift up?
126
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,145
Ow! Careful,
you assholes!
127
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,426
To the left,
you guys, left!
128
00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,672
No, camera left!
Camera left!
129
00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:43,801
That's it, now down!
130
00:03:43,836 --> 00:03:46,399
What the- Who's there?
Who is that?
131
00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:49,463
I am the tooth fairy, my child.
132
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,493
Oh, sorry, miss fairy,
i didn't mean to gaze at you,
133
00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:54,189
I'm back
asleep now, see?
134
00:03:54,224 --> 00:03:58,985
Yes! Now i will leave you
tidings under your pillow!
135
00:04:02,014 --> 00:04:04,612
Oh, gosh, i didn't
think you'd be so fat.
136
00:04:04,647 --> 00:04:05,443
Hey!
137
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,741
Come on, fat ass!
138
00:04:06,776 --> 00:04:09,372
Do not open your eyes
until morning
139
00:04:09,407 --> 00:04:11,970
Or else i will
kick you in the nuts...
140
00:04:12,004 --> 00:04:13,701
Ahh, in the nuts.
141
00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:14,999
Yes, ma'am!
142
00:04:15,432 --> 00:04:16,298
Well?
143
00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:18,029
Bullseye!
144
00:04:18,462 --> 00:04:19,760
? Tucky-Tucky time?
145
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:21,925
? It's the best time
of the night?
146
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,621
I love that song, mom.
Sing it again!
147
00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:25,820
No, honey, mommy's
got to save her throat.
148
00:04:25,855 --> 00:04:27,118
I have to
work tonight!
149
00:04:27,153 --> 00:04:27,949
Okay.
150
00:04:27,983 --> 00:04:28,850
Goodnight!
151
00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:31,014
What do you
have there, eric?
152
00:04:31,049 --> 00:04:32,710
Another tooth
fell out today.
153
00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:34,008
I'm leavin' it
for the tooth fairy.
154
00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:35,739
Oh my, the tooth fairy
will have to give you
155
00:04:35,774 --> 00:04:39,237
A big surprise for losing
two teeth in two days!
156
00:04:39,272 --> 00:04:40,501
I know, huh?
157
00:04:40,536 --> 00:04:42,699
You guys!
Oh my god, you guys
158
00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:44,214
You're not
gonna believe it!
159
00:04:44,249 --> 00:04:45,297
It's beyond
rational thought!
160
00:04:45,331 --> 00:04:46,560
Holy crap, you guys!
161
00:04:46,595 --> 00:04:47,461
Did the
tooth fairy come?
162
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,724
$4.Oo!
163
00:04:48,759 --> 00:04:49,590
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
164
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:50,888
Do you guys know
what this means?
165
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,438
Yeah, we just gotta
keep finding teeth
166
00:04:52,473 --> 00:04:53,953
And putting them
under your pillow.
167
00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:57,381
Dentist office.
168
00:04:57,416 --> 00:04:59,977
Oh hello, dr. Roberts?
It's miss cartman.
169
00:05:00,012 --> 00:05:01,744
Oh, yes, miss cartman,
what can i do for you?
170
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,008
Well, it's my son,
171
00:05:03,043 --> 00:05:04,989
He's lost a lot
of his baby teeth
172
00:05:05,024 --> 00:05:06,902
And i was starting
to get worried.
173
00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:09,968
Well, losing baby teeth is a
natural thing, miss cartman.
174
00:05:10,002 --> 00:05:11,266
How many has he lost?
175
00:05:11,301 --> 00:05:13,863
About 112.
176
00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:15,992
112?
177
00:05:16,027 --> 00:05:18,156
Yes, 15 of them
in one night.
178
00:05:18,191 --> 00:05:19,922
Perhaps he should
switch toothpaste?
179
00:05:20,355 --> 00:05:24,250
Your son wouldn't happen to be
an alligator, would he, no?
180
00:05:24,285 --> 00:05:25,947
Hmmm, i see.
181
00:05:25,981 --> 00:05:27,713
Well, i'm afraid i can't
help you right now.
182
00:05:28,146 --> 00:05:30,310
The american dental association
convention is this week,
183
00:05:30,345 --> 00:05:32,906
But as soon as i get back,
i'll look into it.
184
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,071
Oh, thank you.
Freebie next week!
185
00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:36,370
What?
186
00:05:38,101 --> 00:05:39,364
Daa-
187
00:05:39,399 --> 00:05:41,563
Tooth?
What the hell?
188
00:05:41,598 --> 00:05:42,394
Mom!
189
00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:43,693
Yes, eric.
190
00:05:43,728 --> 00:05:45,026
The stuipid tooth fairy forgot
to bring me money last night.
191
00:05:45,459 --> 00:05:46,289
Call the police!
192
00:05:46,324 --> 00:05:47,587
Oh, eric-Poopy,
sit down,
193
00:05:47,622 --> 00:05:49,354
Mommy has something
to tell you.
194
00:05:49,786 --> 00:05:51,916
It's just
that... well
195
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:54,513
There is no
tooth fairy, eric.
196
00:05:54,548 --> 00:05:56,496
I've been putting all that
money under your pillow
197
00:05:56,531 --> 00:05:58,443
And because you've had
so many teeth fall out,
198
00:05:58,478 --> 00:05:59,707
I've actually
run out of money
199
00:05:59,742 --> 00:06:03,204
And can't go to the grocery
store for at least a month.
200
00:06:05,368 --> 00:06:06,666
You almost had me
for a second there, mom.
201
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:07,966
"There's no tooth fairy"
202
00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:09,264
I suppose next
you're gonna tell me
203
00:06:09,697 --> 00:06:11,860
There's no santa claus,
easter bunny, or jesus either.
204
00:06:15,755 --> 00:06:17,055
Mom?
205
00:06:17,487 --> 00:06:20,517
I'm sorry, eric, all children
find out sooner or later.
206
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:21,780
You're serious?
207
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,113
There really is
no tooth fairy?
208
00:06:23,148 --> 00:06:24,810
No honey,
it's just-
209
00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:26,144
How could you lie
to me, mother?
210
00:06:26,576 --> 00:06:27,840
Lie right to my face?
211
00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:30,471
Oh eric, it's just
part of being a child.
212
00:06:30,506 --> 00:06:31,337
How can i trust you?
213
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,502
How can i ever trust
anyone ever again, mother?
214
00:06:33,537 --> 00:06:36,531
I guess... to
make it in this life,
215
00:06:36,566 --> 00:06:37,829
I can only trust myself.
216
00:06:38,262 --> 00:06:41,293
Myself, and willikins bear, of course.
217
00:06:41,327 --> 00:06:42,556
Eric, eric, wait!
218
00:06:42,591 --> 00:06:44,755
No, mother!
No more lies!
219
00:06:49,082 --> 00:06:49,949
Dude, where's
the money?
220
00:06:50,382 --> 00:06:51,030
There is no money.
221
00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:51,680
No more money?
222
00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:52,943
What are you
talking about, cartman?
223
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:54,709
We're only $167 away
from getting a sega.
224
00:06:54,744 --> 00:06:55,540
I know!
225
00:06:55,575 --> 00:06:57,306
Cartman,
what's going on?
226
00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:59,003
You guys...
227
00:06:59,038 --> 00:07:02,067
Oh, god,i don't even
know how to tell you this...
228
00:07:02,102 --> 00:07:03,331
Tell us what?
229
00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:05,097
You guys, there's no
tooth fairy, you guys.
230
00:07:05,529 --> 00:07:06,794
There, i said it.
231
00:07:06,829 --> 00:07:08,525
What do you mean,
there's no tooth fairy?
232
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,291
My mom's been giving us
the money all this time,
233
00:07:10,326 --> 00:07:12,022
Your parents are the
ones that left you money.
234
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:12,888
Dude!
235
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,152
That can't be!
236
00:07:14,187 --> 00:07:15,017
My parents
wouldn't lie to me.
237
00:07:15,052 --> 00:07:16,316
But now my mom has
given me so much money
238
00:07:16,351 --> 00:07:18,514
That she's bankrupt and
we're poor, like kenny.
239
00:07:18,549 --> 00:07:19,813
Don't touch me, kenny.
240
00:07:19,848 --> 00:07:20,678
You're wrong!
241
00:07:21,111 --> 00:07:21,977
If my dad says that
something is real,
242
00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:22,808
Then it's real!
243
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,574
Kyle, open your
eyes, man!
244
00:07:24,609 --> 00:07:26,305
It's not true!
245
00:07:29,335 --> 00:07:30,166
Oh, hello, son.
246
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,499
Dad, there is so
a tooth fairy, huh?
247
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,330
What? Oh!
248
00:07:32,365 --> 00:07:34,529
Kyle, let's
have a little talk.
249
00:07:34,564 --> 00:07:36,658
Oh my god,
youdidlie to me!
250
00:07:36,693 --> 00:07:38,424
No, kyle, she's
just make-Believe.
251
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:39,723
Like peter pan.
252
00:07:40,156 --> 00:07:41,454
Peter pan too!?
253
00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:42,717
Kyle!
254
00:07:42,752 --> 00:07:44,050
What about moses,
and abraham?
255
00:07:44,085 --> 00:07:45,349
Well, they were
probably real.
256
00:07:45,384 --> 00:07:46,180
Probably?
257
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,080
Is atlantis real?
258
00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:47,947
Probably not.
259
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:49,210
Aahhh!
260
00:07:49,245 --> 00:07:50,326
But kyle, adults
make up those things
261
00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:51,409
Because they're
fun for children!
262
00:07:51,444 --> 00:07:52,724
Fun for children?
263
00:07:52,759 --> 00:07:53,970
Look at me, dad!
264
00:07:54,005 --> 00:07:55,504
I don't even know
what's real anymore!
265
00:07:55,539 --> 00:07:56,170
Aaahh!
266
00:08:00,931 --> 00:08:01,796
Man, i can't believe
all our parents
267
00:08:02,229 --> 00:08:03,493
Lied to us about
the tooth fairy.
268
00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:05,692
What about dan rather,
do you think he's real?
269
00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,388
Naw man, that's
just a tv show.
270
00:08:07,423 --> 00:08:09,154
You guys, you guys!
I've figured it out!
271
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,885
What? That your
parents lied to you too?
272
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:11,717
Yeah, but it's okay,
273
00:08:11,751 --> 00:08:13,050
We can still get
oursega dreamcast.
274
00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:14,313
How?
275
00:08:14,348 --> 00:08:15,647
Look, the tooth fairy
is all made up, right?
276
00:08:15,682 --> 00:08:17,811
All made up, not
real, nothing's real.
277
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:18,676
So all we have to do,
278
00:08:19,109 --> 00:08:20,407
Is go to a really
rich kid's house
279
00:08:20,442 --> 00:08:21,706
Put our tooth
under his pillow
280
00:08:22,139 --> 00:08:23,870
Wait for his parents to leave
him a whole butt-Load of money
281
00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:25,601
Then sneak back in
and take it!
282
00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:26,467
Woo-Hoo!
283
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:27,765
The kid'll
never even know.
284
00:08:28,198 --> 00:08:29,462
Oh dude, that istits!
285
00:08:29,497 --> 00:08:31,661
That is big fat
oprah tits, right there!
286
00:08:31,696 --> 00:08:33,392
Oh my god,
what if i'm not real?
287
00:08:33,825 --> 00:08:34,690
We can take the
bus to the city
288
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:35,989
There's super-Rich
people down there.
289
00:08:36,024 --> 00:08:37,253
Yeah!
290
00:08:37,288 --> 00:08:38,586
I mean, what if i'm just
part of my parent's reality?
291
00:08:38,621 --> 00:08:39,850
C'mon, kyle!
292
00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:42,481
What if this is all
just somebody's dream?
293
00:08:48,108 --> 00:08:50,272
Wow! Look at the
size of these houses!
294
00:08:50,307 --> 00:08:51,138
Told you, dude,
295
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:52,868
Cherry creek is the
richest part of denver.
296
00:08:52,903 --> 00:08:54,168
I'll bet these kids
get 10 bucks a tooth
297
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:55,431
From the "tooth fairy".
298
00:08:55,466 --> 00:08:56,730
Hey, that house
looks perfect!
299
00:08:56,765 --> 00:08:57,630
There's obviously
kids living there.
300
00:08:58,063 --> 00:09:00,227
Here, you can tell
this is the kids's window
301
00:09:00,262 --> 00:09:01,542
'Cuz it's gotmegaman
stickers on it.
302
00:09:01,577 --> 00:09:02,789
Cartman,once you're
in the kid's room,
303
00:09:02,824 --> 00:09:04,123
Leave the tooth under the
pillow, then come back out.
304
00:09:04,555 --> 00:09:05,854
We'll wait for the parents
to see it and leave money,
305
00:09:05,889 --> 00:09:07,152
Then swing you
back in to grab it.
306
00:09:07,187 --> 00:09:08,017
Got it.
307
00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:11,481
This is the smartest
business venture, ever!
308
00:09:13,212 --> 00:09:14,475
What the-?
309
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,504
Hey, what the hell
are you guys doing?
310
00:09:17,539 --> 00:09:19,704
We're gonna sneak a tooth under
this rich kid's pillow
311
00:09:19,739 --> 00:09:21,435
Then come back and
take the tooth fairy money
312
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,183
That his parents leave him.
313
00:09:23,218 --> 00:09:24,897
Hey, you can't
do that!
314
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:25,763
Why not?
315
00:09:26,196 --> 00:09:27,062
Because that's what
we're going to do!
316
00:09:27,096 --> 00:09:28,325
Yeah, you ripped off
our idea.
317
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,658
What the hell are
you talking about?
318
00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:30,957
We've been doing this
for over 2 years.
319
00:09:30,992 --> 00:09:32,220
2 years?
320
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:33,519
Nice tooth fairy costume!
321
00:09:33,554 --> 00:09:35,286
You think anybody'd
believe you in that?
322
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,549
It's better than
your dress!
323
00:09:36,584 --> 00:09:38,315
You look like a bad
jennifer lopez nightmare.
324
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:39,181
How dare you!
325
00:09:40,912 --> 00:09:42,608
Look, this is our turf,
326
00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:44,375
You better scram before
the boss breaks your legs.
327
00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:46,106
You scram,
we were here first!
328
00:09:46,141 --> 00:09:46,971
What's going on?
329
00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:48,668
Oh, it's the
tooth fairies!
330
00:09:48,703 --> 00:09:50,434
Oh, nice going!
Now you woke him up.
331
00:09:50,469 --> 00:09:51,698
Youwoke him up!
332
00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:52,598
I don't have any
loose teeth, miss fairies.
333
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:53,697
But i have been
a very good boy.
334
00:09:53,732 --> 00:09:54,680
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
335
00:09:54,715 --> 00:09:55,628
Alright,
that does it!
336
00:09:56,061 --> 00:09:57,359
C'mon we're going
to see the boss!
337
00:09:57,394 --> 00:09:58,224
Who's the boss?
338
00:09:58,259 --> 00:09:59,955
Loogie.
339
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,851
My associates here tell me you
were working cherry creek tonight.
340
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:05,366
Is that true?
341
00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:06,413
Uh, yeah.
342
00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,712
Right on
our turf, boss,
343
00:10:07,746 --> 00:10:09,046
I ain't never seen
that kinda disre-
344
00:10:09,081 --> 00:10:10,344
We were there first!
345
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,940
Kids been doing the tooth fairy
racket in this town for years
346
00:10:12,975 --> 00:10:14,672
I do it just like
my big brother before me,
347
00:10:14,707 --> 00:10:16,369
And my oldest brother
before that.
348
00:10:16,403 --> 00:10:18,567
Damn it! And we thought
we were so original!
349
00:10:18,602 --> 00:10:19,831
Let me ask you something,
350
00:10:19,866 --> 00:10:21,164
You were gonna sneak a tooth
under this rich kid's pillow?
351
00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:22,462
Then what?
352
00:10:22,895 --> 00:10:23,761
What do you mean?
353
00:10:24,193 --> 00:10:25,458
How were the kid's parents
going to know
354
00:10:25,493 --> 00:10:27,657
There was a tooth
under their child's pillow?
355
00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:29,622
Ha! You guys
don't even know
356
00:10:29,656 --> 00:10:31,253
How the
tooth trade works!
357
00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:32,816
What's the
tooth trade?
358
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:35,015
Look, any shmuck can
sneak through a window
359
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:35,845
Wearing a pretty dress.
360
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,009
The tooth racket
is much more involved.
361
00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:39,740
We keep careful track
of what houses we've hit
362
00:10:39,775 --> 00:10:42,373
So we don't hit the same ones
twice in less than 2 months.
363
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,536
We not only have to
sneak a tooth under the pillow
364
00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:47,133
But leave a note for
mom and dad to see.
365
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,314
This is how we let
the parents know
366
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,427
To leave money
under the pillow.
367
00:10:51,462 --> 00:10:53,409
Once the notes have been
placed in the last house,
368
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,915
We start all over,
going back to the first house.
369
00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:58,387
But this time, all we
have to do is collect money.
370
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,984
And the kids never
know what hit 'em.
371
00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:02,247
Wow!
Wow! Wow!
372
00:11:02,282 --> 00:11:04,013
The hardest part
is getting teeth.
373
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,744
We've tried
various places...
374
00:11:05,779 --> 00:11:07,493
Cemetaries...
375
00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:09,207
Hockey games...
376
00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:11,804
Anywhere we can
find them.
377
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,067
No!
378
00:11:13,102 --> 00:11:14,400
The teeth we do
manage to acquire
379
00:11:14,834 --> 00:11:16,565
Are then sorted according to
size, color and quality.
380
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,729
But there's
never enough teeth...
381
00:11:18,764 --> 00:11:20,045
Never enough.
382
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,326
Amazing!
383
00:11:21,758 --> 00:11:23,455
Man, that is tits!
384
00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:25,437
And now my
only problem is:
385
00:11:25,472 --> 00:11:27,385
What do i
do with you?
386
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:29,081
Raarr!
387
00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:30,847
Tell you what,
how would you like to
388
00:11:30,882 --> 00:11:32,580
Run the south park
tooth racket for me?
389
00:11:32,615 --> 00:11:33,843
Oh, i don't know.
390
00:11:33,878 --> 00:11:36,042
It's that or i can
cut off you penises.
391
00:11:36,474 --> 00:11:39,504
Hmmm, work for you,
or have my penis cut off.
392
00:11:39,938 --> 00:11:42,101
Work for you,
or have my...?
393
00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:43,365
Cartman!
394
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,131
How much do we get
if we work for you?
395
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,394
I'll cut you
in at 2%
396
00:11:46,429 --> 00:11:49,459
2% or have my
penis cut off...?
397
00:11:49,494 --> 00:11:51,623
We're in!
398
00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:54,220
Fellow dentists,
as you all know
399
00:11:54,653 --> 00:11:55,917
We are still
having numerous reports
400
00:11:55,951 --> 00:11:58,116
Of missing teeth
from all over the country
401
00:11:58,549 --> 00:12:01,110
There are also reports of
missing tooth fairy money.
402
00:12:01,145 --> 00:12:07,205
We believe that there can be only
one logical reason for all of this.
403
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,498
A giant half-Chicken,
half-Squirrel
404
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:14,563
That steals either teeth or
money from children as they sleep
405
00:12:14,598 --> 00:12:16,692
In order to build
some kind of a giant nest
406
00:12:16,727 --> 00:12:20,189
For its genetically superior and
potentially dangerous offspring.
407
00:12:20,622 --> 00:12:21,886
We believe also,
408
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:24,085
That this creature would have
at least a mild understanding
409
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,383
Of algebra.
410
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:29,278
Uh, excuse me, i think
i have a more logical theory.
411
00:12:29,712 --> 00:12:35,303
Well, by all means,
mr. Foley, enlighten us.
412
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,935
I think what we've got here
is a black market tooth racket.
413
00:12:37,969 --> 00:12:40,532
Something where one group
is stealing the money and teeth
414
00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:42,263
From another group
for a profit.
415
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:43,994
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!
416
00:12:44,427 --> 00:12:45,725
Ha ha!
Ha ha! Ha ha!
417
00:12:46,159 --> 00:12:50,054
Oh, mr. Foley, you realize
how ridiculous that sounds.
418
00:12:50,089 --> 00:12:52,218
It's not ridiculous,
it's very possible!
419
00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:53,516
I've seen it
happen before.
420
00:12:53,551 --> 00:12:54,347
Where?
421
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,248
In montreal.
422
00:12:55,681 --> 00:12:57,195
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!
423
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,675
Ha ha!
Ha ha! Ha ha!
424
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:02,372
And where, pray,
is this mon-Tree-Al?
425
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,437
Look, i know
how to handle this.
426
00:13:03,472 --> 00:13:05,203
All we have to do is
bring down the kingpin
427
00:13:05,238 --> 00:13:06,899
And the rest will fall.
428
00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:09,530
You'll see, i'll have it taken
care of in a matter of weeks.
429
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:13,859
Very well, mr. Foley, you go
on your wild goose chase!
430
00:13:14,292 --> 00:13:17,754
And meanwhile, we'll deal with
therealproblems at hand.
431
00:13:18,187 --> 00:13:19,451
I will!
432
00:13:19,486 --> 00:13:22,731
Anyway, the half-Chicken
half-Squirrel
433
00:13:22,766 --> 00:13:25,977
Would most likely be
3 to 4½ feet tall
434
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,575
His large beak
is probably detachable
435
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,306
And works as
a flotation device.
436
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:41,992
Hello there,
children!
437
00:13:42,425 --> 00:13:43,255
Hey, chef!
Hey, chefhey, chef!
438
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:44,987
We all want double
desserts today!
439
00:13:45,022 --> 00:13:48,051
Oh, well, i'm afraid that the
school charges extra for that.
440
00:13:48,086 --> 00:13:49,783
Oh yeah well, that
ain't nothin' but athang.
441
00:13:49,818 --> 00:13:51,081
Oh my god!
442
00:13:51,514 --> 00:13:53,246
There's got to be
at least $15 here.
443
00:13:53,678 --> 00:13:55,625
That's right, keep
the change, my man.
444
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,573
Well, look at you
cute little crackers
445
00:13:58,006 --> 00:14:01,902
With your money, and your fancy
clothes and your cellphones
446
00:14:01,937 --> 00:14:03,650
It's almost
like you were-
447
00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:05,329
Oh my god!
Children!
448
00:14:05,364 --> 00:14:06,662
What have i
old you about drugs?
449
00:14:07,095 --> 00:14:08,826
That there's a time
and a place for everything
450
00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:10,126
And it's calledcollege.
451
00:14:10,161 --> 00:14:11,389
That's right!
452
00:14:11,424 --> 00:14:14,020
And the only thing worse than
doin' drugs, is dealin' drugs.
453
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,184
I'm gonna tell you about
when i was your age
454
00:14:16,219 --> 00:14:18,782
And got offered drugs.
455
00:14:20,513 --> 00:14:21,344
Oh, c'mon now.
456
00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:22,677
Hey kid, you wanna
try some dope?
457
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:23,940
What?
458
00:14:23,975 --> 00:14:25,273
C'mon,kid, don't you
wanna get high?
459
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:27,221
Hey man, i don't
need dope.
460
00:14:27,256 --> 00:14:28,737
Let me sing you
a little song.
461
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,865
? I can't wait
until i grow up?
462
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,596
? And my wienie gets
big and strong?
463
00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:34,796
? 'Cuz when it does,
i'm gonna find you?
464
00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:36,925
? And make love to ya'
amanda, all night long?
465
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,989
? I'm gonna make love to
ya' amanda in about 10 years?
466
00:14:40,024 --> 00:14:40,820
What?
467
00:14:40,855 --> 00:14:42,119
What the hell is
he talkin' about?
468
00:14:42,154 --> 00:14:43,885
And this toothpick
is gonna turn into an oak tree.
469
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,149
I'm gonna knock down
470
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:46,049
Uh, chef!
Knock you over
471
00:14:46,482 --> 00:14:47,780
Chef! Knock you all around.
472
00:14:47,815 --> 00:14:49,044
Chef!
Huh?
473
00:14:49,079 --> 00:14:50,378
We're not
dealing drugs.
474
00:14:50,412 --> 00:14:51,243
You're not?
475
00:14:51,278 --> 00:14:52,074
No.
476
00:14:52,109 --> 00:14:53,372
Oh, uh...
well, children,
477
00:14:53,407 --> 00:14:55,138
Whatever you're doing,
just remember this:
478
00:14:55,571 --> 00:14:58,168
Having money
may seem fun but...
479
00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:00,333
Oh, never mind.
480
00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:02,279
Thanks, chef.
Thanks, thanks, chef.
481
00:15:02,314 --> 00:15:03,795
Damn,that little
amanda was fine.
482
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,958
I gotta look her up.
483
00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,123
Dude, having this
much money is great!
484
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:08,989
Working for loogierules.
485
00:15:09,422 --> 00:15:11,585
Yeah, but you know...
why do we need loogie?
486
00:15:12,018 --> 00:15:13,282
We know how the trade works
487
00:15:13,317 --> 00:15:15,048
Why don't we do it ourselves
and keep all the profits?
488
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:16,780
We can't do that, dude,
loogie will kick our asses.
489
00:15:17,212 --> 00:15:18,943
Oh, what the hell is that
little pollock gonna do?
490
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:22,406
C'mon you guys, i say we
create our own mob crime family.
491
00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:24,535
Dude, this book says
there could be
492
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:26,302
Infinite alternate realities
to every reality.
493
00:15:26,337 --> 00:15:28,033
Sure, kyle.
494
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:31,279
They're what?
They're not gonna pay me?
495
00:15:31,314 --> 00:15:32,919
Who the hell do they
think they are?
496
00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:34,525
I want those
south park kids dead.
497
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,221
I want their
families dead.
498
00:15:36,256 --> 00:15:37,987
I want their houses
burnt to the ground.
499
00:15:38,022 --> 00:15:39,286
Oh, hi there mister.
500
00:15:39,718 --> 00:15:41,018
My mommy and daddy
are out front if you need 'em.
501
00:15:41,053 --> 00:15:42,714
Let's cut the crap, kid.
502
00:15:42,749 --> 00:15:46,211
My name is tom foley, i'm with
the american dental association.
503
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:49,674
Sit down, mr. Foley,
you want some spaghetti?
504
00:15:49,709 --> 00:15:51,803
No, thanks,
i just brushed.
505
00:15:51,838 --> 00:15:54,867
I just wanted to let you
know that i'm on to you.
506
00:15:54,902 --> 00:15:56,598
I told the a.D.A.
A thousand times,
507
00:15:56,633 --> 00:15:58,330
I know nothing
about teeth.
508
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:00,494
I'm just an 8 year old boy who likes
climbing trees and playing in puddles.
509
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,658
I am going to find out
who the boss is,
510
00:16:02,693 --> 00:16:04,389
And when i do
i'm gonna bust his ass
511
00:16:04,822 --> 00:16:08,285
And everyone's ass
who helped hide his ass.
512
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:15,210
So, you brought me 400 ibs.
Of teeth from china?
513
00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:17,339
That's right, yeah,
it's all top grade stuff, too.
514
00:16:17,374 --> 00:16:19,105
These chinese kids are selling
their teeth for peanuts, see?
515
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:20,368
How much?
516
00:16:20,403 --> 00:16:21,668
Well, tang lee wants 30,
517
00:16:21,703 --> 00:16:23,001
But i can cut you
a deal for 28, yeah?
518
00:16:23,036 --> 00:16:25,365
What do you say, huh?
519
00:16:25,598 --> 00:16:26,896
Can i ask you
a question, weasel?
520
00:16:26,931 --> 00:16:28,159
Well, why, sure, sure!
521
00:16:28,194 --> 00:16:29,891
Do you think
i'm an idiot?
522
00:16:29,926 --> 00:16:32,488
These are cat teeth,
you son-Of-A-Bitch!
523
00:16:32,523 --> 00:16:34,254
You're trying to sell me
400 ibs. Of cat teeth!
524
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:36,202
Get outta my sight!
525
00:16:36,237 --> 00:16:37,626
You lousy little scum!
526
00:16:37,661 --> 00:16:38,980
What!
527
00:16:39,015 --> 00:16:40,096
This is your
last chance, kid.
528
00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:41,179
Either you give
the boss his cut,
529
00:16:41,612 --> 00:16:42,910
Or else we're gonna throw
your pal into the river
530
00:16:43,343 --> 00:16:44,209
Wearing concrete galoshes.
531
00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:46,806
I ain't givin' you crap,
kenny's not afraid of you!
532
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,502
Oh, my god!
533
00:16:48,537 --> 00:16:50,701
This book says that negative and
positive are the same thing.
534
00:16:50,736 --> 00:16:52,432
That "real" and
"not real" are one!
535
00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:53,298
He's not gonna do it?
536
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:54,562
Mprh mprmm mprh!
537
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,895
He's not gonna
do it, boss.
538
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,643
Well, then,
throw him in.
539
00:16:57,678 --> 00:16:59,357
Alright, kid,
time to die.
540
00:16:59,392 --> 00:17:05,382
No! No! No!
541
00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:08,411
Aw, man, how deep
is the platt river?
542
00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:11,043
...to which ms. Clinton replied,
"i don't even like vagina."
543
00:17:11,078 --> 00:17:13,208
Finally, tonight
a human interest story.
544
00:17:13,243 --> 00:17:14,471
Dan akawa is live.
545
00:17:14,506 --> 00:17:17,319
Thanks, tom, i'm at the house
of little billy circlovich
546
00:17:17,354 --> 00:17:20,133
Billy is in desperate need
of a bone marrow transplant,
547
00:17:20,566 --> 00:17:22,695
Or he will
most certainly die.
548
00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:24,461
Billy, how much more money do
you need for the transplant?
549
00:17:24,894 --> 00:17:26,157
600-
550
00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:27,924
Louder, billy,
we can't hear ya!
551
00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:28,754
Just $600.
552
00:17:28,789 --> 00:17:29,655
Well, that's
a lot of money.
553
00:17:30,088 --> 00:17:31,386
How the hell are you
gonna get all that
554
00:17:31,421 --> 00:17:32,684
In the short amount
of time you have left?
555
00:17:33,117 --> 00:17:33,983
Well, i don't know.
556
00:17:34,415 --> 00:17:36,580
Well, billy, i also understand
that you lost a tooth today.
557
00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:38,744
Billy we want you to put that
tooth under your pillow tonight.
558
00:17:38,779 --> 00:17:40,908
Because we have a feeling
that the tooth fairy
559
00:17:40,943 --> 00:17:44,370
Is going to leave you
$600 for it.
560
00:17:44,405 --> 00:17:45,902
Really? Really?
561
00:17:45,937 --> 00:17:47,365
Yes, really, $600!
562
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,564
I might also mention that billy
lives in crestview apartments
563
00:17:49,997 --> 00:17:53,027
Just of arapaho road, on
emporia street, back to you, tom.
564
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,291
How was that?
565
00:17:54,326 --> 00:17:56,455
Perfect!
The trap is set.
566
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:58,653
Now, c'mon, you
really think anyone
567
00:17:58,688 --> 00:18:00,817
Would fall for
something that stupid?
568
00:18:00,852 --> 00:18:02,082
$600, you guys!
569
00:18:02,117 --> 00:18:04,496
C'mon, get your stuff together,
this is gonna be tits!
570
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:06,877
Dude,this book says i don't
exist unless i think i do.
571
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,140
But what if i don't?
572
00:18:08,175 --> 00:18:09,907
Will somebody take
those books away from him?
573
00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:15,533
Be sure to put your loose tooth
under your pillow, billy.
574
00:18:15,568 --> 00:18:17,264
Okay, mom.
575
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:22,891
Thank you for
helping, gentlemen.
576
00:18:22,926 --> 00:18:24,155
If this sting
operation works,
577
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,921
Some bogus tooth fairy
should be showing up
578
00:18:25,956 --> 00:18:27,185
To take the
sick kid's money.
579
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:29,384
When they touch the kid's pillow
an alarm will sound
580
00:18:29,419 --> 00:18:30,682
And that's when you
hit the button, murphy,
581
00:18:30,717 --> 00:18:31,548
And activate the lights.
582
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:32,413
Everybody got it?
583
00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:34,110
Got it!
Got it!
584
00:18:34,144 --> 00:18:36,742
Duh, which button
do i hit again, boss?
585
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,338
Just kidding, you know how
there's always the dumb guy
586
00:18:39,771 --> 00:18:41,935
In sting operations
in the movies,
587
00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:44,100
You know, i was
just acting... oh.
588
00:18:44,135 --> 00:18:45,796
Hurry up you guys,
589
00:18:45,831 --> 00:18:47,129
We gotta get that
sick kid's money
590
00:18:47,164 --> 00:18:48,393
Before luggie does.
591
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,258
I can't deal
with it stan,
592
00:18:49,293 --> 00:18:50,591
All the stuff
i've been reading,
593
00:18:51,025 --> 00:18:51,891
I really don't
think i exist.
594
00:18:52,323 --> 00:18:53,622
Dude, just stop
thinking about it.
595
00:18:53,657 --> 00:18:54,885
But i can't!
596
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,218
What if thinking about it
is the only thing
597
00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:57,517
Keeping my
space-Time together?
598
00:18:59,249 --> 00:19:00,547
Sometimes i can
see time slowing down,
599
00:19:00,582 --> 00:19:01,845
My own existence fading.
600
00:19:02,278 --> 00:19:05,272
Goodnight mom,
goodnight dad.
601
00:19:05,307 --> 00:19:06,606
Alright, everyone
keep your eyes peeled.
602
00:19:06,641 --> 00:19:08,788
I'm going
to bed now, mommy.
603
00:19:08,823 --> 00:19:10,743
I put my tooth
under the pillow.
604
00:19:10,778 --> 00:19:12,630
Do you really think
the tooth fairy
605
00:19:12,665 --> 00:19:13,964
Will give me the money
for the transplant?
606
00:19:13,999 --> 00:19:15,262
I think so, billy,
i think so.
607
00:19:15,695 --> 00:19:16,959
I can't wait to feel
healthy and strong again.
608
00:19:16,994 --> 00:19:19,158
Well, you're gonna have to wait
a little bit longer, billy
609
00:19:19,193 --> 00:19:21,287
'Cuz that 600 bucks ismine.
610
00:19:21,322 --> 00:19:23,270
"Light is a wave,
unless it is observed."
611
00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:25,218
That means all matter
is just a wave.
612
00:19:25,253 --> 00:19:27,615
Nothing's real!
Reality-
613
00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:29,978
Oh god!
It's happening!
614
00:19:31,276 --> 00:19:32,576
Kyle?
615
00:19:33,009 --> 00:19:34,307
Something strange is
happening with the computers!
616
00:19:34,342 --> 00:19:37,769
Well, well well,
what do we have here?
617
00:19:37,804 --> 00:19:39,465
Aw, sh-T!
618
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,197
Did you bastards
really think
619
00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:42,495
That you could
hide from me forever?
620
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,694
Klauski, put this butt-Wipe
out of his misery!
621
00:19:44,729 --> 00:19:45,993
I got it!
622
00:19:46,425 --> 00:19:47,291
The tooth fairy!
623
00:19:48,589 --> 00:19:49,888
Let's move out!
624
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:51,152
Holy crap!
625
00:19:51,187 --> 00:19:52,918
Give it up, kids, you're
surrounded by dentists.
626
00:19:52,953 --> 00:19:54,233
It was a trap!
627
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:55,479
That's right!
628
00:19:55,514 --> 00:19:57,211
And now it's all exposed,
you're through!
629
00:19:57,246 --> 00:20:00,276
The only thing left to do is
haul you kids down to prison.
630
00:20:00,311 --> 00:20:01,539
This is reality.
631
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:04,171
I am everywhere
and nowhere.
632
00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:05,470
What the hell?
633
00:20:05,903 --> 00:20:06,733
Kyle?
634
00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:09,798
I am nothing,
and everything.
635
00:20:20,618 --> 00:20:21,483
Grrrrrr!
636
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,215
Ah-Ha, i told you!
637
00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,274
Let's get out of here!
638
00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:36,164
Huh, that was
pretty wierd.
639
00:20:36,199 --> 00:20:39,663
Jesus, the little sick kid
was a set-Up all along.
640
00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:40,961
How could i
be so stupid?
641
00:20:41,394 --> 00:20:42,692
I can't believe i fell
for such an obvious trap,
642
00:20:42,727 --> 00:20:44,821
What the hell's
wrong with me?
643
00:20:44,856 --> 00:20:46,804
Well, don't take it
too hard, dude,
644
00:20:46,839 --> 00:20:48,752
That's what
grown-Ups do, they lie.
645
00:20:49,184 --> 00:20:50,448
Lie right to your face.
646
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,647
Oh well, maybe it's good
my empire has fallen.
647
00:20:52,682 --> 00:20:53,910
Really?
648
00:20:53,945 --> 00:20:56,110
Yeah, i kinda wanted to play on the
flag football team this year, anyway.
649
00:20:56,542 --> 00:20:57,408
So,you're not gonna
hurt us or nothin'?
650
00:20:57,841 --> 00:21:00,005
Naw, in a way i'm just glad
the whole thing's over with.
651
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,133
Yeah, but you know,
i've learned something today.
652
00:21:02,168 --> 00:21:05,632
The basis of all reasoning is
the mind's awareness of itself.
653
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:07,813
What we think, the external
objects we perceive,
654
00:21:07,848 --> 00:21:09,924
Are all like actors
that come on and off stage.
655
00:21:09,959 --> 00:21:15,153
But our consciousness, the stage
itself, is always present to us.
656
00:21:16,885 --> 00:21:18,183
Tits!
657
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:52,942
Timmy!
658
00:21:54,107 --> 00:21:54,973
Captions made possible by
comedy central
659
00:21:55,406 --> 00:21:56,271
Captioned by
soundwriters
660
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:02,398
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