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1
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,252
Wuh-okay! You guys ready up there!?
2
00:00:41,287 --> 00:00:42,150
Ready!
3
00:00:42,185 --> 00:00:44,589
On your marks! Get set! Uh-go!
4
00:00:46,016 --> 00:00:47,379
We win again!
5
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,307
That's not fair! Cartman's ass is
so fat he makes your sled go faster!
6
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:52,765
Ey! Don't call me fat, Token!
7
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,043
We want to use the
sleds now, butt pirates!
8
00:00:55,071 --> 00:00:56,134
Sleds are for guys.
9
00:00:56,135 --> 00:00:58,680
Yeah! Why don't you chicks go wash some
dishes or get pregnant or something?!
10
00:00:58,681 --> 00:01:01,199
These are the school's
sleds, ass rammers, not yours!
11
00:01:01,430 --> 00:01:03,466
Look, girls don't even know
how to sled. Do something else.
12
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,884
I bet we can sled ten times
better than you, doughnut punchers!
13
00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:08,477
-Oh yeah?!
-Yeah!
14
00:01:08,478 --> 00:01:10,021
We'd kick your girlie ass in sledding!
15
00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:11,802
How about a race down
a real hill, then?!
16
00:01:11,935 --> 00:01:13,355
-Yeah!
-You got it!
17
00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:14,050
Yeah!
18
00:01:14,051 --> 00:01:16,651
Your best four sledders
agains our best four sledders!
19
00:01:16,686 --> 00:01:17,407
Noo problem!
20
00:01:17,442 --> 00:01:19,921
Then we'll see you this
Saturday on Phil Collins Hill!
21
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:22,096
Phil Collins Hill on
Saturday! You got it!
22
00:01:22,097 --> 00:01:24,975
See you there! And may the
best woman win, turd burglars!
23
00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:27,120
Oh, boy! We'll show them!
24
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:30,356
Yeah. Oo-oo-why, us men will
show those skanky hos who's who!
25
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:33,248
Yeah. Those girls don't realize what
good sledders Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.
26
00:01:33,283 --> 00:01:36,351
Yeah! And with Cartman's enormously
fat ass, the boys are sure to win!
27
00:01:36,386 --> 00:01:38,712
Token, I swear to God, if you call me fat one more time
28
00:01:38,713 --> 00:01:40,285
I'm gonna smack you on the head with this rock!
29
00:01:40,286 --> 00:01:42,382
-Fatass.
-There!
30
00:01:45,028 --> 00:01:50,018
And what you need to understand is that this is not appropriate behavior, young man! M'kay?
31
00:01:50,053 --> 00:01:52,842
Eric, don't you realize you could've
seriously injured your little friend?
32
00:01:52,877 --> 00:01:54,416
I'm sorry, Mom.
33
00:01:54,451 --> 00:01:56,576
Don't apologize to us, apologize to him!
34
00:01:56,611 --> 00:01:58,099
I'm sorry, Token.
35
00:01:58,134 --> 00:02:01,270
Well, I hope you learned that
throwing rocks is bayad, Eric.
36
00:02:01,305 --> 00:02:04,241
Oh, I sure do, Mr. Mackey. I mean, I feel really bad, uhh.
37
00:02:04,242 --> 00:02:09,385
What was I thinking? The only thing I can do now… is try to go on and live day by day.
38
00:02:09,386 --> 00:02:10,172
See ya later.
39
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:13,560
Not this time, Eric! You've got to learn to respect your little friends!
40
00:02:13,561 --> 00:02:15,916
You're gonna have detention for two weeks!
41
00:02:16,038 --> 00:02:17,201
No way!
42
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:20,290
Yes way! M'kay, and that
settles it! Now, let's all go-
43
00:02:20,325 --> 00:02:21,909
-Counselor Mackey?
-Yes?
44
00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:25,626
I'm Agent Sharp and this is
Agent Keen. We're with the FBI.
45
00:02:25,661 --> 00:02:27,840
We're here to investigate
the rock-throwing incident.
46
00:02:29,362 --> 00:02:34,724
M'kay, I've already taken care of it,
Eric Cartman here is gonna be punished
with two weeks of detention.
47
00:02:34,759 --> 00:02:37,720
I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, Mr. School Counselor.You see,
48
00:02:37,721 --> 00:02:42,667
since the victim in this case is African-American, this is considered a hate crime.
49
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:45,944
…What the hell is a hate crime?
50
00:02:45,979 --> 00:02:47,599
Uh, but I don't think this is a ruh-
51
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:52,464
New laws have been passed that make any crime based on race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation a federal offense.
52
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:53,747
What? A federal offense?
53
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,514
-Oh no.
-Oh no??
54
00:02:55,515 --> 00:02:57,837
We're sorry, Ms. Cartman, but we must follow protocol.
55
00:02:57,838 --> 00:03:01,802
Your son will be taken into custody and then tried in a federal court of law.
56
00:03:03,202 --> 00:03:04,598
Oh my goodness.
57
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,727
The hate crime trial of the century is underway on Court
TV tracks U van. .
58
00:03:08,728 --> 00:03:11,073
...Live. Here's your host, Leslie Smith.
59
00:03:11,265 --> 00:03:15,850
What turns a normal, fat little
eight-year-old boy into a vicious, hate-crime-commiting racist?
60
00:03:15,851 --> 00:03:19,519
We take you live to the courtroom as the defendant takes the stand.
61
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,509
Mr. Cartman, do you know a
boy by the name of "Token?"
62
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,757
-Uh, yes?
-Who is Token?
63
00:03:24,758 --> 00:03:26,791
He's a black kid that goes to my school?
64
00:03:26,826 --> 00:03:29,598
Black! Did you say black?!
You called him black?!
65
00:03:29,633 --> 00:03:30,495
He is black.
66
00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:32,096
O! He said it again!
67
00:03:32,824 --> 00:03:35,871
He is African-American, and so you decided to pick him out!
68
00:03:35,872 --> 00:03:36,569
I did?
69
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:41,445
The rage built and built inside your head until it became too much because you hate African-Americans!!
70
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,260
-No! I hate hippies!
-What?!
71
00:03:43,295 --> 00:03:46,258
I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about "protectin' the earth" and then drive around in
72
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:50,170
cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!
73
00:03:50,171 --> 00:03:51,372
Oo, poopiekins?
74
00:03:51,407 --> 00:03:55,161
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this is why we have hate-crime laws!
75
00:03:55,162 --> 00:03:59,688
This "monster" commited a crime—not against an individual, but against a race!
76
00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:03,188
Do the democratic thing and send his fat little butt to prison!
77
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,632
Ey! Don't call me fat, asshole!
78
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,118
The prosecution rests.
79
00:04:07,371 --> 00:04:10,221
Don't forget: we still have a sledding
race this Saturday, pillow biters.
80
00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:11,114
We know!
81
00:04:11,149 --> 00:04:13,968
Dude, this is horrible. We gotta get
Cartman out of court so we can go practice.
82
00:04:14,962 --> 00:04:18,199
Eric Cartman, you have been found guilty of commiting a hate crime.
83
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:23,345
For this, I hereby sentence you to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall, until you turn twen-ty one.
84
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:24,083
No!
85
00:04:24,118 --> 00:04:28,105
I am making an example of you, to send a message out to people everywhere:
86
00:04:28,106 --> 00:04:33,835
...that if you want to hurt another human being, you'd better make damn sure they're the same color as you are!
87
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:38,980
Court is adjourned!
88
00:04:41,002 --> 00:04:43,876
Bailiffs, escort this little
bastard to Juvenile Hall.
89
00:04:43,911 --> 00:04:44,664
Yes, sir.
90
00:04:44,699 --> 00:04:47,600
Alright, you!
…Uh-uh-uh, where'd he go?
91
00:04:51,283 --> 00:04:53,131
Kenny! Kenny, you have
to get me out of town!
92
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:53,944
(What the fuck for?!)
93
00:04:53,979 --> 00:04:56,325
They're gonna put me in jail for a hate
crime! You have to take me to Mexico!
94
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,589
(Mexico?! Why the heck do I have
to take you all the way to Mexico?!)
95
00:04:58,624 --> 00:05:00,002
Calm down, Kenny!
96
00:05:00,037 --> 00:05:00,625
(Hey!)
97
00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:02,498
Do you still have that battery-powered
toy truck you got last Christmas?!
98
00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:03,080
(Yyes)
99
00:05:03,115 --> 00:05:05,403
Well, come on! I don't have much time!
100
00:05:15,171 --> 00:05:18,907
A car chase is evolving on the 285 corridor east of South Park!
101
00:05:18,908 --> 00:05:24,586
Hate-crime suspect Eric Cartman is trying to outrun federal prosecutors in his friend's Go-Go Action Bronco!
102
00:05:24,587 --> 00:05:27,496
Our Eye in the Sky Greg Nimins is there live. Greg?
103
00:05:27,497 --> 00:05:31,357
Tom, it looks like the Go-Go Action Bronco is heading east on 285.
104
00:05:31,358 --> 00:05:33,879
Police officers are right behind him but as with any chase,
105
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,487
they're keeping a safe distance to avoid any accidents here out on the highway.
106
00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:41,144
Tom, it looks like the fugitive is going to make a bold move off an exit off 285.
107
00:05:41,145 --> 00:05:45,467
He's going into a residential neighborhood now; this is where it could get dangerous, as there are pedestrians about."
108
00:05:45,473 --> 00:05:47,322
Damnit, Kenny! Can't
this thing go any faster?!
109
00:05:47,357 --> 00:05:48,598
(Why don'tcha keep your head down?!)
110
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:52,128
Tom, the police have set a roadblock right where the Go-Go
Action Bronco is heading.
111
00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:54,089
This could be the final stand-off.
112
00:05:54,117 --> 00:05:58,853
Alright, that's far enough. Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco and come out with your hands up.
113
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,053
Just bring it to a stop and come on out.
114
00:06:05,837 --> 00:06:08,209
Jeezus, he's gonna ram it!
115
00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:24,595
Crazy son of a bitch.
116
00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:29,200
Well, it's been over thirteen hours now,
and still the car chase has not ended.
117
00:06:29,235 --> 00:06:30,515
What the hell are they doing?
118
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:34,343
The chase has now moved through most
of Arizona and nears the Mexican border.
119
00:06:34,378 --> 00:06:37,845
Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman to Mexico, how are we ever gonna win the sledding race on Saturday?
120
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,618
Don't worry, dude. That little truck just runs on D batteries. It's gonna run out of juice soon.
121
00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:46,001
We're gonna make it, Kenny! We're gonna make it to Mexico!
122
00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:50,918
Oh, God damnit!
123
00:06:55,601 --> 00:06:56,474
Hello?
124
00:06:56,509 --> 00:07:01,195
Just a friendly reminder: Cartman's going to jail and you've got four days until the race, rump rangers!
125
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,857
Son of a bitch!
126
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:33,745
Here we are, the end of the road.
Alamosa Maximum Security Juvenile Hall.
127
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:42,573
Prisoner 24601, arriving.
128
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:46,416
Forward, prisoner! You will wake up each morning at 05:00.
129
00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:51,485
Lockdown is until 09:00. At ten we begin random searches and checks for contraband.
130
00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:55,238
At 11:30 we have naptime, followed by finger-painting.
131
00:07:55,239 --> 00:07:57,870
Your cellmate is Romper Stomper!
132
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,748
Huh-who's Romper Stomper?
133
00:08:01,783 --> 00:08:03,497
I am!
134
00:08:04,575 --> 00:08:06,781
And I don't want no new cellmate!
135
00:08:06,816 --> 00:08:11,150
You don't have a choice, Stomper!
Now, show this new prisoner the ropes!
136
00:08:11,185 --> 00:08:14,516
Oh, I will! You bet your ass I will.
137
00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:19,296
Alright, guys. It looks like Cartman's not gonna be able to sled with us for another…
138
00:08:19,297 --> 00:08:23,080
...13 years, so in the meantime we need someone to race with us against the girls on Saturday.
139
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,844
Yeah. Cartman's weight was what gave us speed,
140
00:08:24,845 --> 00:08:27,177
...so we need to find the next-fattest kid besides Cartman.
141
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,412
Come on, who's the
second-fattest kid in South Park?
142
00:08:31,089 --> 00:08:33,086
…Uuhh, I think Clyde is
the next-fattest uh-kid.
143
00:08:33,087 --> 00:08:35,100
-Huh?
-Yeah. Okay, get over here, Clyde.
144
00:08:35,101 --> 00:08:35,889
I'm not fat.
145
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:37,840
Deal with it, dude! Cartman's
gone, so now you're the fat kid.
146
00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:39,806
Yeah, fatss! Get your
fat butt on the sled!
147
00:08:39,841 --> 00:08:41,873
Hey, I'm not fat, you guys.
I'm just kind of big-boned.
148
00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:44,921
Dah, that's what they
all say. Okay, ready? Go!
149
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,956
Hey dude, we don't even
have enough weight to move.
150
00:08:50,991 --> 00:08:52,684
See you Saturday, poo sniffers!
151
00:08:52,719 --> 00:08:54,207
Nice going, fat boy!
152
00:08:56,693 --> 00:08:58,768
Well, well, well. Nwe fish.
153
00:08:58,769 --> 00:09:01,809
How about you come up with a reason why we don't break your arms?!
154
00:09:02,687 --> 00:09:06,194
Uh… 'Cause I'm just like
you guys. Uh-I'm one of you.
155
00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:09,781
Oh yeah? The way I see it, there's two kinds of kids in the world:
156
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,509
...kids who like Animaniacs, and kids who don't like Animaniacs.
157
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:16,757
You're either with us, or you're against us. So which are you?!
158
00:09:17,064 --> 00:09:24,301
Oh, uh, well, personally, I…
uhuhuhuh, I… don't like Animaniacs?
159
00:09:26,145 --> 00:09:27,476
…Neither do we
160
00:09:27,511 --> 00:09:29,891
Oh, thank you, Jesus.
So we're friends now?
161
00:09:29,926 --> 00:09:32,241
"No! There's no friends in the Big House!
162
00:09:32,242 --> 00:09:34,663
You come in with nobody and you leave with nobody.
163
00:09:34,664 --> 00:09:36,642
We don't believe in "friends."
164
00:09:37,101 --> 00:09:39,344
Yeah, neither do I. Friends suck.
165
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:43,495
Now, go find me some cigarettes and
I'll tell you how to bust out of here.
166
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,388
Okay, we've figured it out.
167
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:49,745
To add more weight to the sled, we're gonna use these bricks
168
00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:52,707
...but we're gonna cover 'em with kid's clothes so that the girls think it's another kid!
169
00:09:53,036 --> 00:09:54,362
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
170
00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:55,886
So I don't get to be on the team now?
171
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,009
Shut up, fatass!
172
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:59,738
Yeah, why don't you go eat some more
pork rinds or something, you fat fuck?!
173
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,415
Come on, let's get it a try.
174
00:10:08,638 --> 00:10:10,122
Dude, bail! Bail!
175
00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,744
-Ooh, my God, we killed Kenny.
-We killed Kenny?
176
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:21,805
We Killed Kenny. We're bastards.
177
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,833
Well, that didn't work.
What else can we try?
178
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:27,585
Nothing else is gonna work. We have to face the fact that without Cartman,
179
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,278
...we're gonna lose to a bunch o' girls.
180
00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:32,908
Well, uh-I sure do hate to, uh, to see
my gender tuh, lose to a bunch o' women!
181
00:10:32,909 --> 00:10:35,070
This is a sad day for men everywhere.
182
00:10:35,105 --> 00:10:38,076
You know something, guys? I think we
all took Cartman's ass for granted.
183
00:10:38,111 --> 00:10:38,821
Yeup.
184
00:10:38,856 --> 00:10:42,456
If only we had realized how special
our time with his gigantic ass was.
185
00:10:42,491 --> 00:10:46,788
Well, all that time we didn't understand
what a… unique and magical ass it was.
186
00:10:46,823 --> 00:10:48,411
Woohoo. Great time, girls.
187
00:10:48,412 --> 00:10:50,661
Oh, gee. Looks like you lost another sledder.
188
00:10:50,662 --> 00:10:52,929
Good luck on Saturday, doughnut punchers!
189
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:57,318
That does it! We've got no other choice!
We've got to bust Cartman out of jail!
190
00:10:57,319 --> 00:10:58,357
How?
191
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,237
I saw a movie once where they baked a
cake and put a nail file inside of it.
192
00:11:01,238 --> 00:11:02,450
Sweet! Let's go!
193
00:11:02,485 --> 00:11:04,695
Hooray! Alright! Here we go!
194
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,842
-And have you been brushing your teeth?
-Yes, Mommy.
195
00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:13,219
-And not dropping your soap?
-Yes, Mommy.
196
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,056
Hi, Mom.
197
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:17,960
Young man, that is the fourth time you've been late for our visiting time; you are grounded.
198
00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:19,742
Grounded? On, no! Um, wait…
199
00:11:19,743 --> 00:11:21,598
Here you go, boys. Keep it short.
200
00:11:21,599 --> 00:11:23,798
-Hey you guys.
-Hey, fatass. How's prison?
201
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,260
Well, it sucks balls. Whattaya think?
202
00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:28,183
Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime?! We're gonna lose to girls because of you!
203
00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:30,898
Yeah! So you gotta bust out of here. So we made you this cake.
204
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,397
There's a ailnay ilefay inside of it.
205
00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:34,675
A what?
206
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,083
An ailnay ilefay.
207
00:11:36,319 --> 00:11:37,218
Wwhat's that?
208
00:11:37,253 --> 00:11:41,202
Listen, aggotfay! An ailnay ilefay
so you can eakbray out of isonpray!
209
00:11:41,237 --> 00:11:42,731
Yeah, you stupid umbassday!
210
00:11:42,766 --> 00:11:46,087
I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us take anything back to the cells from here
211
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,360
They on'tday?! Why the ellhay otnay?!
212
00:11:48,361 --> 00:11:51,379
It ooktay ourfay ourshay to akebay this Od-damnedgay akecay,
213
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,446
...and ownay we're otallytay ewedscray!
214
00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:54,776
…Yeah.
215
00:11:54,811 --> 00:11:58,518
Look, that's not important right now!
Did you guys bring the cigarettes?
216
00:11:58,553 --> 00:12:00,697
Well, we got some cigarettes, but we don't think you should be smoking.
217
00:12:00,698 --> 00:12:02,041
Each year, over a million people die of smo-
218
00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:03,883
Just hand over the
God-damned cigarettes!
219
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:08,193
Look, if you guys want me back to win the
sledding race, then I need those cigarettes.
220
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,422
How are we supposed to give them to you?
221
00:12:09,457 --> 00:12:12,683
Just pass them through these little drill
holes here. That's what everybody does.
222
00:12:12,718 --> 00:12:14,399
But they're gonna search you
on your way back to your cell.
223
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,083
I know. That's why I have to have them up
my ass.
224
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,405
Shut up, you guys! It's not funny!
225
00:12:21,406 --> 00:12:22,279
Alright, here.
226
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:28,587
Well, okay… here… l'see…
227
00:12:31,409 --> 00:12:33,464
Wow. I really wish I hadn't
sat here and watched that.
228
00:12:33,465 --> 00:12:34,315
Me too.
229
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:38,054
Okay, guys, eh… If you'll
excuse me, I must be going now.
230
00:12:38,089 --> 00:12:40,413
Don't fart on your way out; you
might make little smoke signals.
231
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:44,870
Hahah. Very funny, you guys, hahah.
232
00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:48,586
That sucks that we couldn't
give him the nail file.
233
00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:49,660
So now what do we do?
234
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:51,931
There's only one thing we can do. We have to go see Token
235
00:12:51,932 --> 00:12:53,906
...and see if he'll forgive Cartman for hate-criming him.
236
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,533
Come on, we're running out of time!
237
00:12:56,165 --> 00:12:58,048
Well, did you get the cigarettes?
238
00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:01,044
Yes. They are safely concealed
in the depths of my ass.
239
00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:05,340
Alright. Go sit on the toilet and poop them
out. I'll keep an eye out for the guards.
240
00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:13,649
Engh. Egh. Uuuh, stupid cigarettes.
241
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,049
One.
242
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:34,821
Heh, two.
243
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:48,880
Come on! Uugh, come on, now! Come on, uuhhhgghh yeahhh. Hoh. Phew.
244
00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:54,214
…Oh, God-damnit!
245
00:13:54,981 --> 00:13:56,197
You flushed them?!
246
00:13:56,232 --> 00:13:58,459
Well, you spend eight years takin' a crap and then flushin' the toilet;
247
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,624
...it sorta becomes a reflex! Please, just help me bust out of here.
248
00:14:01,727 --> 00:14:03,447
No way, douche. I told you:
249
00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:06,183
I ain't your friend. If you want me to help you,
250
00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:08,492
...you're gonna have to sneak something else in for me.
251
00:14:08,753 --> 00:14:10,370
Son of a bitch!
252
00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:15,396
Dude, I didn't know
Token lived so far away.
253
00:14:15,431 --> 00:14:19,052
Yeah. You know, they bus in people from different races to our school to promote cultural diversity.
254
00:14:19,087 --> 00:14:20,814
Yeah. But isn't Token the only one?
255
00:14:20,849 --> 00:14:21,600
Yeah.
256
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:23,622
Hello?
257
00:14:23,657 --> 00:14:25,193
Hi. Can Token come out and play?
258
00:14:25,228 --> 00:14:28,273
Well, his head is still a little
sore, but you can come in, if you like.
259
00:14:28,308 --> 00:14:29,054
Killer.
260
00:14:29,089 --> 00:14:31,292
Token, you don't wanna see us guys
lose to girls tomorrow, do you?
261
00:14:31,292 --> 00:14:32,020
No.
262
00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:35,450
Well then, you've got to call the jail right now and tell them that you forgive Cartman for being a dumbass!
263
00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:36,019
Yeah.
264
00:14:36,437 --> 00:14:37,961
I'm afraid it's not that simple, boys.
265
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:38,705
It's not?
266
00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:42,812
No. You see, the only person that can let
Eric out of Juvenile Hall is the governor.
267
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:45,655
Damnit! Son of a bitch,
damnit! Oh, sorry.
268
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:47,942
-No, I'd, actually agree with you.
-Huh?
269
00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:50,848
Yeah. I have a real problem.with hate-crime legislation.
270
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:54,705
In fact, I'd love to see you kids go down and give the governor a piece of my mind.
271
00:14:54,866 --> 00:14:56,463
Well, why don't you tell
the governor yourself?
272
00:14:56,498 --> 00:14:57,683
Oh, he wouldn't listen to me.
273
00:14:57,718 --> 00:14:58,395
Why not?
274
00:14:58,430 --> 00:14:59,566
Because I'm black.
275
00:15:00,117 --> 00:15:03,547
Sit down, boys. I'm gonna give you a
little lesson about hate-crime laws.
276
00:15:21,461 --> 00:15:25,259
Oh, thank God! Oh, thank you, Jesus, uh! Hoh.
277
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:29,117
Here you go, God-damnit!
278
00:15:29,152 --> 00:15:33,871
Cool! My very own Tic-Tac-Throw
game. Ew, it smells, man.
279
00:15:33,906 --> 00:15:35,488
Well, what the hell do you expect, huh?!
280
00:15:35,489 --> 00:15:37,864
Now I got your stupid game; tell me how to break out of here!
281
00:15:37,899 --> 00:15:41,710
You're not gonna break out of here!
You're here 'til you're 21, douche!
282
00:15:41,745 --> 00:15:42,452
But you said-
283
00:15:42,487 --> 00:15:44,557
I just wanted you to sneak stuff in for me.
284
00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:47,363
What? You actually think I give a crap about you?
285
00:15:47,377 --> 00:15:48,381
I thought that-
286
00:15:48,416 --> 00:15:51,241
Hneah. You'd better wise up to the way things work in the big house.
287
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:55,215
Hey guys! I gots me a new Tic-Tac-Throw.
288
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:03,985
Yeah, it's a little ripe, but it's brand new,
man! You can play it at recess.
289
00:16:06,138 --> 00:16:08,203
Hey. Uh, what are you doing?
290
00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:15,605
You… you can't cry in prison, man. They'll bust your head open.
291
00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,425
What's the matter with you?!
292
00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:20,353
I want my Mo-omm
293
00:16:21,474 --> 00:16:22,345
Dude.
294
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,742
Mommy, I want my Mommy!
295
00:16:27,761 --> 00:16:31,159
Look, if it's that important to
you, I'll bust you out of here.
296
00:16:31,194 --> 00:16:32,530
You will?
297
00:16:32,565 --> 00:16:34,388
Yeah. …Yyeah, I will.
298
00:16:34,389 --> 00:16:37,190
Uh-but not because you're my friend. Only because…
299
00:16:37,191 --> 00:16:41,333
...because I wanna bust out, too. Anh-anh, and see Disneyland.
300
00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:46,643
Governor, the Free Eric Cartman
Now Committee is here to see you?
301
00:16:46,678 --> 00:16:48,964
Naw, not another committee. Send them in.
302
00:16:51,992 --> 00:16:54,558
This is the Free Eric Cartman Now Committee?
303
00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:55,284
Yeah.
304
00:16:55,319 --> 00:16:56,958
Well, boys, what can I do for you?
305
00:16:56,993 --> 00:16:59,178
-Okay, go ahead and start.
-I don't start, you start.
306
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:07,417
Hello, Mr. Governor, and thank you for taking the time to hear our presentation on hate-crime laws, entitled,
307
00:17:08,088 --> 00:17:10,636
"Hate Crime Laws: A Savage Hypocracy."
308
00:17:13,088 --> 00:17:16,965
Yes, over the past few years our great country has been developing new hate crime laws.
309
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,810
If somebody kills somebody, it's a crime.
310
00:17:18,811 --> 00:17:21,430
But if someone kills somebody of a different color, it's a hate crime.
311
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,509
And we think that that is a savage hypocracy,
312
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,103
because all crimes are hate crimes.
313
00:17:26,104 --> 00:17:28,718
If a man beats another man because that man was sleeping with his wife,
314
00:17:28,719 --> 00:17:30,419
is that not a hate crime?
315
00:17:30,454 --> 00:17:32,439
If a person vandalizes a government building,
316
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,434
is it not because of his hate for the government?
317
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,136
And motivation for a crime
shouldn't affect the sentencing.
318
00:17:37,171 --> 00:17:40,294
Mayor, it is time to stop splitting people into groups.
319
00:17:40,295 --> 00:17:43,915
All hate crimes do is support the idea that blacks are
different from whites,
320
00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:48,266
that homosexuals need to be treated differently from non-homos, that we aren't the same.
321
00:17:48,421 --> 00:17:53,667
But instead, we should all be treated the same, with the same laws and the same punishments for the same crimes .
322
00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:56,312
For in that way Cartman can be freed from prison, and we
323
00:17:56,313 --> 00:17:58,846
...will have a chance to win the sledding race on Thursday.
324
00:17:59,031 --> 00:18:01,686
That is our presentation.
An idea that we call…
325
00:18:01,687 --> 00:18:04,157
"Hate Crime Laws: A Savage Hypocracy."
326
00:18:05,549 --> 00:18:09,795
That made the most sense of any presentation I've heard in the last three years.
327
00:18:16,144 --> 00:18:18,997
Hurry up! They're sending the dogs after us!
328
00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:22,687
What's the matter?
329
00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:24,431
It's my leg! I think it's broken.
330
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,598
-You go on ahead without me.
-Uhokay.
331
00:18:27,745 --> 00:18:30,969
Hey. You're supposed to say, "I'm
not going without you," or something.
332
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,296
Oh. Really?
333
00:18:32,331 --> 00:18:35,878
Look, kid, you go on. You've got something
to live out there. You've got friends.
334
00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:39,280
Yeah. I never really
realized that until just now.
335
00:18:39,315 --> 00:18:43,759
I sure would have liked to have seen
Disneyland. Here. I want you to have these.
336
00:18:43,794 --> 00:18:44,444
Okay.
337
00:18:44,479 --> 00:18:48,038
No! You're supposed to say, "I can't
take these," or something, dumbass!
338
00:18:48,073 --> 00:18:49,639
Oh. I can't take these.
339
00:18:49,674 --> 00:18:52,817
Take them. They'll bring you
luck. Now go on. Get out of here.
340
00:18:54,345 --> 00:18:55,512
-Romper?
-Yeah?
341
00:18:55,608 --> 00:19:01,894
You… well… I know you don't think you've… ever been anybody's friend, but, well, you're a friend to me.
342
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,030
Alright, freeze!
343
00:19:04,637 --> 00:19:07,926
You'll never take us alive!
We're going down together, pigs!
344
00:19:07,961 --> 00:19:10,049
But you've been
pardoned by the governor!
345
00:19:10,084 --> 00:19:12,443
O ho ho, sweet. Later, dudes.
346
00:19:16,293 --> 00:19:18,172
Well, come on! Are we racing or not?!
347
00:19:18,207 --> 00:19:20,714
Just wait. We got Cartman
pardoned; he'll be here any second.
348
00:19:20,749 --> 00:19:22,642
He's gotta show up. He's just got to.
349
00:19:22,677 --> 00:19:24,760
Come on, my feet are
getting cold, fudge packers!
350
00:19:24,795 --> 00:19:27,379
Yeah. If you're too scared
to race, just say so!
351
00:19:27,414 --> 00:19:29,388
Dude, I guess we've jsut
got to try it without him.
352
00:19:29,423 --> 00:19:30,455
Alright, where's Clyde.
353
00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:31,178
Right here.
354
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,647
Get on the sled, you fat piece of shit!
355
00:19:32,682 --> 00:19:36,306
For the last time, I'm not fat,
so stop calling me fat, God-damnit!
356
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,036
On the sled, fatass!
357
00:19:38,071 --> 00:19:40,715
Okay, girls. Time to show
the boys what we can do!
358
00:19:41,854 --> 00:19:43,648
Huh-okay.
Uh-ready, uhset,-
359
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,019
You guys!
360
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,957
It's Cartman!
361
00:19:46,992 --> 00:19:47,667
Hooray!
362
00:19:47,702 --> 00:19:49,197
That's right! I'm back!
363
00:19:49,557 --> 00:19:52,447
Oh, thank you! Thank you for coming back!
364
00:19:54,251 --> 00:19:55,924
What the hell's wrong with Clyde?
365
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:57,937
This is your last chance!
Are we racing or not?!
366
00:19:57,972 --> 00:19:59,197
All right! Let's do this!
367
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,815
Okay. Everybody ready?
On your marks.
368
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,711
I hope I can adjust to life
outside of the big house.
369
00:20:03,746 --> 00:20:05,342
Uh-get set. Go!
370
00:20:05,377 --> 00:20:08,781
Been on the inside for so long, I don't
rermember how to live on the outside.
371
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:09,565
Go, fatass!
372
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,562
When a man is stripped of his freedom,
degraded in the ways that I was, it's-
373
00:20:12,597 --> 00:20:13,446
Go, fatass!
374
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,877
Come on! We've gotta catch up to them!
375
00:20:18,456 --> 00:20:19,965
We've got' em, girls!
376
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,751
Oh no! The girls are gonna win!
377
00:20:22,943 --> 00:20:24,086
Go! You can do it! Come on!
378
00:20:24,121 --> 00:20:25,137
We're not gonna make it!
379
00:20:38,311 --> 00:20:39,289
Hooray!
380
00:20:40,136 --> 00:20:41,150
We did it!
381
00:20:43,887 --> 00:20:45,211
We won! We won!
382
00:20:45,246 --> 00:20:47,990
Yeah. Why, we sure-uh gave
those skanky bitches what for!
383
00:20:48,025 --> 00:20:48,644
Hooray!
384
00:20:48,679 --> 00:20:50,223
It's good to have you back, Cartman.
385
00:20:50,258 --> 00:20:52,369
Yeah,. We're never gonna take
you ass for granted ever again.
386
00:20:52,404 --> 00:20:55,051
Yeah, and I'm not gonna take my
friends for granted ever again.
387
00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:59,425
Let's all hear it for
Cartman's big, fat ass!
388
00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:02,217
Do British people count as
an ethnicity for hate crimes?
389
00:21:02,252 --> 00:21:04,092
-Naah.
-Sweet.
390
00:21:06,502 --> 00:21:09,644
Hey! Romper Stomper! Get
up! You got a visitor!
391
00:21:09,821 --> 00:21:11,415
-Eric!
-Hey, Romper Stomper.
392
00:21:11,686 --> 00:21:14,570
Wow! I've never had a visitor before!
393
00:21:14,605 --> 00:21:17,405
Well, that's not all. I snuck
something in for you, too.
394
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,174
You did?
395
00:21:19,294 --> 00:21:22,150
You know how you told me you
always wanted to see Disneyland?
396
00:21:22,185 --> 00:21:22,859
Yeah.
397
00:21:30,168 --> 00:21:32,378
Yeah! That's the Pirates
of the Caribbean. Ugh.
398
00:21:32,438 --> 00:21:33,548
Whoa!
399
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:36,737
Hegh. Oh! Here comes Space
Mountain-oh-uugh. Ogh! Wait-
400
00:21:37,013 --> 00:21:38,658
Oh, yeah!
401
00:21:40,511 --> 00:21:46,022
Uh, what else? Splash
Mountain, that comes now-oh!
402
00:21:50,616 --> 00:21:53,121
Oh, the monorail!
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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