Original subtitles

I have to make a better grade than the last time. I only got a 98, and that's

just... We can't do that. That's just not acceptable.

I mean, what's wrong with me? Do I not know a hypotenuse from a

hypotenuse?

I don't know.

I don't get it. How about you? What are you thinking?

I think I've got to fix up some personal finance projects.

Yeah. Yeah.

I tried to take the AP, but it was so easy to score.

Right. I feel you.

I feel you.

They need to offer more college courses.

Right. Like, calculus.

And there's, like, nothing to do, like...

Well, I mean, instead of that, you could always just do one of those popular

girls homework. I know I'm going to be like, five.

Yeah, five.

But, I mean, it's just the same thing. So after a while, like, it's boring.

Oh, yeah.

What's next?

So that was paperwork.

You know what time it is?

What time is it? It's math review time!

You know what, cheer me up. Right?

I'm happy with it. Are you ready?

What is the net prime number after seven?

Net prime number after seven.

What is the square root of 144 equal?

Square root of 144.

I'll give you the next one.

Pi can correctly be written as a fraction.

Correct. Correct. Correct.

What comes after a million, a billion, and a trillion?

Five billion.

Civilization dot patterns were first employed to represent numbers.

How do you mean?

Too easy. Too easy for you.

In college libraries, 30 % of books are classified as fiction and a remainder as

nonfiction. There are 2 ,400 books, more books in the nonfiction category than

the fiction category.

The total number of nonfiction books in a library is 4 ,200.

Yeah!

Let's do these. Two trigonometrical ratios

whose values cannot be greater than one are sine and cosine.

Oh, yeah. You're killing it, girl.

Found it.

Henry and Hazel earned it. It's kind of $5 ,000 expensive.

They have, to me, their food is $500.

electricity, water, gas, 135, telephone, 50, and car maintenance,

155, monthly saving as percent age of income is

48

.67.

Correct, correct?

Yeah.

All right.

This is cute.

Yeah. But you know what's on right now?

I'm upset.

I ate toothpaste once when I didn't have a toothbrush.

WHAT?!

Same amount of gum.

Maybe I just chew it better than you. Oh, really?

Yeah. There's more liquid soaking into my gum, so it's gaining more mass than

your gum over time.

No.

Look at all that.

Let me see.

I have this crazy idea.

Let's combine horses with gum. Fusion? Yeah.

You think?

Yeah. Here.

Lady and the Tramp? Ow!

They can't do fusion yet because it's far in the season. Right, right.

That's later.

I was pretty bummed out after Jen didn't want to hang out. No one wants to hang

out with me either.

That doesn't make me feel better. I want you to have a boyfriend or even like a,

you know, guy friend.

That'd be cool.

I'm not cool enough, I guess.

I guess. But what's really cool? I feel like the school.

Really? No, I mean with...

You're dressed the nicest.

You dress awesome.

Right? You got the coolest socks.

Oh, I know. I got my donut socks on. Right?

Yeah. Like, how cool are donuts?

Right? Everybody likes donuts. And, like, we just got our new glasses, and

they're even bigger than the last one. Right? So we can see in every direction.

Right? Like, so cool. Like, I don't get it.

I don't think, like, anime, but anime is the coolest, right? So, like, have they

never tried it?

Like, right?

I don't get it.

Yeah,

like, we haven't even held hands with boys yet.

And we're so packed up. We should be, like, kissing.

You guys okay? What are you guys doing?

Nothing.

What are you guys talking about?

Oh.

It's girl stuff.

What kind of girl stuff? It doesn't sound just like girl stuff.

We do.

Yeah. It doesn't mean you have to say that because you're a diet.

You're not a control sample. You're a diet.

If you weren't a good kid, we wouldn't tell you this. Exactly. I think you're

cool. You're the coolest chick that I've ever met.

You know what?

What's the matter?

You guys want to talk about it with us?

Yeah, but we like them.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, let me see who you know. Let's see.

All right. It's like we're on the runway.

Yeah, yeah.

Ready, ready, ready.

to the next 100 years. Well, that's what you did.

Yeah.

Dad, don't pick on me. I'm already feeling like that.

And you're picking on me.

Let's move on to the next thing. Let's try something else. What do you guys

about at school?

We talk about anime and math and anatomy.

That's a really great part of a career later on. But you guys need to talk

things that are more popular.

Yeah, that's her job to not be nice.

Nowhere in the history of school was the head cheerleader nice to everybody.

But that's not cool.

You guys are trying to keep it nice.

But if you take Ryan from Tiffany.

How do you flirt with Ryan?

How do you flirt with Ryan? Yeah, how do you flirt with Ryan? I haven't flirted

with Ryan.

You flirted with Ryan that one time. Okay, so you pretend you're Ryan, and

you're you. What would you say?

Hi.

So wait, you're Ryan?

She's Ryan. She's Ryan. So that was the witch role, okay?

So just say it. So you act like Ryan.

So you act like a cool guy. I got this. Okay. Be Ryan.

Be Ryan. Be Ryan.

You're mean. Okay, now you. I'll be Ryan. I'll be Ryan.

Hi.

What's up, nerd?

You got my calculus homework?

Yeah.

Okay, there we go. You don't just give him the calculus homework. But he'll

you if you give him the calculus homework. You might as well give him

money. I think I know what you mean. Well, yeah. You're going to give him

lunch money.

No. You're going to give him your direct line of attack.

What's the kill? Do you guys ever kiss anybody before?

I kissed my pillow.

I mean, I did a lot of things with my pillow when I was a kid. Are you 18

old and you haven't kissed anybody?

No.

You can't kiss people unless you're dating, and if you can't be dating...

very smart.

That's a good way of thinking.

That's a long problem.

Why don't you kiss Alex?

What? What?

She's a girl.

We should all play. I mean, we should.

That wouldn't be kissing.

It's because we're best friends.

You guys can kick each other.

It doesn't count.

No, it doesn't count.

So if you play Ryan again, and then you play yourself, and just go in for the

kill, you know? Just be like, hey, what's up? Go for it. Okay.

Ready? Try this. Hi, I'm Ryan.

You're not even going to say I'm Ryan. You're just going to go in for it. One,

two, three, and go.

Oh, that was pretty good. I thought you were Ryan. That was good. That was

really good. I like that.

Alec, how'd you do?

That was aggressive.

Okay. Now you be aggressive. Okay.

And as soon as he says, hey, Alex, you just kiss him. Okay, okay. I got this.

Hey, Alex.

Oh.

Like that. Like that. Like that. Not really.

I put him in there. Did you like it? Yes.

You guys seem like you like it too much. Try it again.

So. A little softer. There you go. Oh.

Yeah. There you go.

Okay.

Some tongue.

I mean.

I mean, we don't really want to have lesbian daughters now, do we?

What? That was a really, really good one. That was good.

I still think they need a little more.

So we are both going to be Ryan now.

Yeah. We're both Ryan.

So I'll be Ryan and you're you.

You're Ryan?

I'm Ryan.

Okay.

As long as we clap.

I got mine in my bag and my football's here.

Okay.

All right. Are you ready?

I'm ready. All right. All right. Okay.

That's okay?

Yes. Good? Oh, wow.

That was good. Just like that.

Just like that.

Alex, what's up?

Are we going to try again?

Yeah, try again.

So what are you going to do to pass that point? I mean, what would you do after?

I don't know.

I've never seen anything after.

Have you guys ever heard of ball play?

Well, we talked about it.

I mean, who's better to teach him than us, right? You know? We taught you guys

everything else. Yeah.

Have you guys ever, like,

seen a peanut?

Let's take one over here. Not in person.

You know, let's show them the birds and the bees here.

All right.

So the first thing that you're going to want to do is, uh, so just get a little

bit undressed.

Yeah. Right? Show some, show some, you know. Like, like.

Yeah, just maybe start by just taking your shoes off, you know. There you go.

Take the socks off.

Cute socks.

They are cute socks.

Oh, I bought you them.

Yeah!

Donuts are cool.

And then, so you might want to just, uh, you know, just.

You get used to your own body, right? You got to, you know, um, masturbate,

right?

Uh, pet.

Just farm a car.

Okay. Okay.

I'm just saying.

I'll ask him.

Yeah.

Did you like it?

Okay. I mean, yeah, it was cool. So why don't you just, like, close your eyes,

touch yourself, and imagine, uh, imagine lying, you know?

Yeah,

just like that. You know, just slowly.

Good.

Super. Yeah, you just like caress yourself a little bit. Get yourself in

Beautiful. In the mood. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow, I think that...

Yeah. Pull it to the side a little bit. Let's see.

Yeah, let's pull it to the side a little bit. Let's see.

Oh,

wow.

That's better.

Wow.

There we go.

And if you pull this up, pull that side a little bit.

Yeah, just pull those out. Oh, those are beautiful.

Wow.

How does that feel?

Absolutely amazing.

It's tickly. It's tickly? Yeah.

Yeah?

It's way cooler when somebody else does it.

Yeah.

Like that.

How's that feel?

It feels good.

Nice, like that? Yeah.

So this is what's gonna make boys like us?

Yeah.

100%.

So you slowly drop like that.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah.

Just like that.

Yeah.

So I guarantee nobody's ever done this to you.

Done what?

Oh.

Thanks. I study a lot.

Pretty cool, pretty cool. I feel cooler already.

Yeah, that's what makes me cool.

Why don't you let me and Jasper sit down here and you guys come over here.

Right there on your, there you go.

I think we have to take these off, right? Yeah, that's not cool.

Stuck. Oh no!

Yeah, play with your butt. Thank you. Really?

Yeah. Lita, you don't mind, do you?

No. All right.

That's nice.

That's advanced right there.

Wow. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Do a little extra credit and you're right there.

Yeah, go deep on that cock again. Go deep on that cock again.

All the way down there.

With this?

Move a little bit further up. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, just like that. Come on.

We're going to put the dick inside your pussy. Okay. Okay, so like a master

class. Yeah, we're going all the way.

Amen.

clean up and practice that walk and that talk we taught you.

Sure. You guys have got to make it.

Okay.