All language subtitles for The Upshaws s07e12

Them offers ain't worth a damn.

Benny, the economy is the economy.

People aren't starting businesses like
that right now. Well, make them.

Ain't you supposed to be some kind of
mongrel?

You know damn well the word is mogul.

Keep texting me. I got something in my
purse that could end this all right now.

Ain't nobody scared of that little
steward little guy.

And there'll be a cartoon ambulance
taking your ass into surgery.

Not gonna believe this.

Aaliyah got a parking ticket. She can't
go to France.

Regina, I know you're having a hard time
with everybody leaving, but that's even

thin for you. I can't believe you would
say that. You can't go on your cruise.

We're back.

You know, when I said I'd buy everyone's
luggage, I forgot how many people were

actually leaving.

Wiping that card for the family.

Shit felt good, didn't it?

Yeah, the hug was nice.

Well, we wanted to send y 'all off
right, so this is a gift from Toomey?

What the hell, Frank?

And since when does TJ Maxx sell Toomey?

Y 'all do know I gotta ship everything I
own, right?

Y 'all got any Toomey crepes?

So you don't want the luggage now?

Uncle Frank, ain't nobody said all that.

Where the hell is she going?

Wherever the wind takes me.

I had to buy it.

Drove that damn thing out of the store
before I knew she had it.

If she hadn't tried to stop at that Taco
Bell drive -thru, we wouldn't have

caught her.

Hi.

When were you going to tell us that you
got this parking ticket?

Should have gone straight to my room.

What I always say, if you robbing a
liquor store... Don't stop and get a

slushie.

You always say that.

Come on.

Big city council, you got it right.

Yeah, that's how I'm using my political
power.

Fill the sinkhole in front of the
Braille Institute or save your ass.

Nobody drives at the Braille Institute.

And why is fixing sinkholes a debate?

None of that was real, Aaliyah. I was
lying to win the argument. I'm in

government.

You know, we'll deal with your moral
character later. Take these bags

Don't forget to take your old bag,
Frank.

Benny, a lot of suitcases just came in
here. I could put a part of you in each

of them.

Cops don't look for poor people.

All right, come over here. That was way
too thought out.

All right, let's go.

Too many people leaving.

I'm not used to this family having all
these opportunities.

Yeah, I can't think about all that. I'm
just thinking about the shop.

Baby, you will figure it out, okay?

Besides, we're good, you know? We all
right right now. I mean, we ain't got

champagne problems, but shit, we ain't
got dark liquor problems either.

And besides, God will not give you more
than you can handle.

Regina.

Hey, baby.

Mama, what you doing here?

Did you find the guy who stole my car?

The search continues, honey.

Look, I heard y 'all selling the shop.

You haven't yet, have you?

I got something there I got to relocate
right quick.

Well, then how the hell you hear about
that?

Me and the baby text all the time.

By the way, I voted for you.

Absentee under an alias.

See, that's family right there.

Where'd we go? Did you bring it?

You know I did.

Just pop out the SIM card and bury the
old one in school.

And here's that saltwater taffy you
asked for.

Mario, don't you eat that titty taffy.

It's going to mess up your dinner.

Look, man, this is the same shop from
the last three times you saw it. Do you

want it or not?

Then let the man with the excellent
credit score calculate his all -cash

Of course.

You'll have my counter by the end of the
day. Can we have it by the end of the

door?

Why are we countering? We lowered the
price. You do business wrong.

You sold your Camaro for $37.

Don't tell me about business.

I forgot I already snuck in here and
moved my shit.

Don't ever get old.

I still can't believe you sell in this
garage.

I still can't believe we let you near
our safe alone.

Hey, hey, hey, Mama changed her life
after Clarence left her.

Thank you.

And, Lucretia, if you was really worried
about me robbing you, you wouldn't have

made the code Frank's birthday.

I know what needs knowing.

And, baby, if you're really not happy
with these broke -ass losers she keep

bringing you, I can get you some real
money.

Listen here, Bumpy Johnson.

Your family might believe that you've
turned over a new leaf, but I know that

leaf is just as trifling. Wait a minute
now.

This is my mama, okay?

Now, we can think some shit, but we
can't say it.

Glodine, you didn't have to make dinner.

Or throw out the one that I was making.

That was dinner?

I thought you were soaking that pie.

On an open flame.

While I was seasoning it.

I don't know, honey. This is my first
visit since we got good.

I'm just trying not to be honest with
you right now.

Ooh, that smell good, Grammy Gold.

Mom, Uncle Frank gotta buy me some more
luggage. I got too many creams, serums,

lotions, moisturizers, toners, spa
treatments. Back in my day, all we had

Noxzema and spit.

You know you're going to the
cosmetics... capital of the world,

What you should be packing are foods
with chemicals in them. They ain't got

over there.

I got a backpack full of red vines.

Shoes, socks, dresses.

That's the stuff that you need. You
know, I don't trust what you're doing up

there. Let me go and help you.

Lucretia, quit hitting me with that
offer. The man ain't giving us enough

Benny, this is a damn good offer.

If you don't sign this, I will cut your
hand off and sign it for you.

Okay, now what?

Glody, are you happy with what you
raised?

Can't hit you back, so yeah.

You couldn't slide a dollar under that
bar.

You know, I've been thinking.

Oh, Lord.

No good things, baby.

You shouldn't have to sell this shop.

At this point, it'll take a miracle.

Then let me pull this choir of angels
out of God's pocket.

You know damn well I'm not touching
that.

Apparently, they've recovered some of
the money Lucretia's accountant stole

her. More than enough to save your
garage.

How the hell did you get that?

I just happened to go drinking with
Lucretia's mailman from time to time.

She ain't gonna use none of that money
to help me.

That Lucretia wouldn't.

This Lucretia would.

All we gotta do is go down there, flash
a couple of fake IDs, and walk out with

the money.

She ain't gonna miss it. She don't even
know it's there.

Let me see that letter.

Damn, I forgot how much money it was.

Mama, this could fix problems that I
ain't even caused yet.

Sounds like you, Ann.

All right, Mr. Turner, we didn't get it
all, but we are going to keep fighting.

Just a couple more things to sign an
initial, and we'll get you out of here.

never thought I'd see this money again.

You know, money's the only thing I
really love.

That's the reason why she married me.

And maybe now you'll stay in Atlanta,
where you belong.

Stock market.

All right, that should do it.

Here's your check.

Congratulations. Thank you.

I'll see you later, lawyer friend.

In court.

Sustained.

Hey, Benny, you're Frank till we get to
the car. Now, let's go catch this shit.

I kind of want them to see us making fun
of them. Look, I can see Frank now.

Benny, you're a clown.

Oh, you and your wishing ass.

What the hell?

What are you two doing here? Don't move.

They'll think we're a mirror.

kind of hoping you'd topple over.

How could you, Benny?

Lucretia, come on.

Let's go on a cruise.

She knows you're not me.

Girl, I cannot believe you're going to
France. You ain't gotta miss me yet. I'm

gonna leave for another month.

No, I mean, I should be the one going.

You ain't built for Europe.

I'm the one who gets nothing but bread
for dinner.

Get off of that thing.

You are not going anywhere.

And bang into my ankles one more time.

But everyone else gets a trip.

I want to go to East Germany. They got a
wall. You could pay right on.

Oh, my God.

Now I have to go to work tomorrow so
that I can vote to close down your

I'll be in my room.

Fran is just for attention, right? With
every fiber of my being, baby.

Whatever Lucretia say, she's a damn lie.

Okay, and why are you dressed like
Frank?

Why are you paying attention to Frank's
clothes?

Then he stole my money. Okay, hold on.
You can't just come into my house and

accuse my husband of stuff.

You damn right.

Throw her ass out before she says
something else.

They recovered some of my stolen money,
and instead of telling me, this bastard

and Glodine went down there and took it.
Dad, we're over.

Don't you take her side. You're my kid.

Benny, what the hell? That kind of fraud
is a Class A felony.

You better not join his side either.

All right, girls, upstairs now.

Oh, y 'all don't bother me. This is like
every birthday party that I've ever

had.

I'm getting a little tired of you humble
bracken about how messed up your family

is. It's dope.

Cree, there has to be some explanation.

Benny, tell me that she's wrong.

She still got the damn check.

Yeah, I got it. But this money don't
mean nothing to them.

Oh, Benny.

This could save the shop. This could
change our lives.

Look at it.

God, that's a lot of money. That's what
I'm saying.

Hey, what's all the yelling?

Ask them. They the one tripping. You
know what?

Keep the damn check.

It'll be worth it to me to never have to
deal with your ass ever again.

Cool, cool, cool, cool. Y 'all hungry?

It's on me.

Let's go hit Popeye's. We ain't hit it
in a minute. Go buy the whole back out.

This motherfucker.

Regina, out of my love for you, I have
put up with years of his half -baked

criminal bullshit.

It's always been me versus him.

But now, it's me or him.

Choose. That's my wife. She ain't about
to pick you over me.

Pick you?

I can't even look at you. I am done.

You got a right to be mad.

I'll sleep on the couch.

This money will make a good pillow
tonight.

I know this is a big ask.

Could we stay with you until we get set
up?

Y 'all can stay at my apartment. I can
stay with Hector.

Look, look, look. Everybody quit playing
this shit. Ain't nobody going nowhere.

Hey, this... was too much.

I don't care what it was.

You're not taking my kids.

Benny, I can't do this.

I gotta do something.

I gotta go make sandwiches.

Don't you walk away from me.

If my mama says she wanna make
sandwiches, we gonna let her make

You don't wanna start this.

I bought a gym for this moment.

And it is not a good one.

You can't be mad at me.

Not after I make you my special apology
pancakes.

Don't fall for it, Regina.

Those are trap jacks.

Shut up, Aretha.

We ain't got no eggs.

Get some eggs, Aretha.

Regina, I know this seems bad.

But remember, girl, the service is
always faster at a table for one.

That's why I said it.

Okay, I called the moving company.

Thank you so much for helping me sell
the house. Sell the house?

Benny, I'm not going over this with you.

Now, I don't want to jinx it, but I
smell an offer coming. She's already

about what she wants to rip out.

Ain't nobody touching my house.

It's not your house anymore.

Could we maybe bring it down a touch?

Believe me, this house is not going to
sell itself.

Okay, we'll take it. This house is so
much nicer when you're not being chased

out of it.

Benny, I'm so sorry to hear about
everything.

We don't need that from you. You're not
Kelman's daddy.

And I'm not trying to be.

Look, whatever it is they're offering,
we will take it. I just want out.

Look, Regina, anybody but her.

Hey, look upon me, Benny Upshaw.

I am the patron saint of baby mama.
Every woman who has ever been told that

allergic to latex shall pray to me.

You said that.

Oh, did I?

Oh, well, damn. Well, I sent the ashes
of your dream.

You've been rehearsing that shit.

Since the dick turned blue.

What? It's an excellent school district.

No, no, no, baby. We mad at you. Oh,
yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I said.

Get him! Get him!

Stock market. Ain't shit, ain't shit.

Whoa, whoa, gibberish, gibberish.

I'm keeping my suitcase.

How could you be?

Thanks for including me, man.

Virginia, you gonna let them do this to
me? You bought this on yourself.

It's all yours.

I can't believe this is really going
down.

Y 'all got pitchforks.

Poke him before he wakes up. Oh, my God.

I ain't getting no younger. Are you in
or not?

Nope. Mama can't do it.

Not the same guy. You got to go.

I can't believe you don't want to steal
from family.

You're different.

I ain't mad.

Just disappointed.

Lucretia, you got some mail.

I put this off long enough.

Hang on.

For what?

We prayed on it.

I know I've shot this down in the past,
but what if we borrow against the house?

Take out just enough to pay off the loan
so you can keep the shop.

Regina.

I love you, but we're not doing that.

Come on, Benny. You shouldn't have to do
this.

I'm not right. Hell in the garage? Come
on.

You've worked too hard. You've been
doing good.

We'll start something new.

We'll be fine.

You'll be fine.

I'll be fine.

I'm Benny Upshaw, baby. Yeah, you are.
You are Benny fucking Upshaw.

Pop's gonna be okay, right?

He always is, but still, it's weird.

Shop's been here my whole life.

Mine, too.

Maya, you're younger than us. That's how
time works.

Have any of you guys talked to Dad?

No, Mr. Gina said he's good with it.

I don't know, man.

I just can't imagine having to do this.

Well, you better start.

Aren't you supposed to be selling your
gym?

No. Grab me gloves, then she'll take
care of it for him.

She can't burn my gym down.

I haven't had insurance since I broke
that window.

Tell her I said no.

Good thing I said something.

And then you thanked me for being in my
dream.

They don't sound like me.

It was pretty cool that I was in it. I
appreciate it.

So, you going to be all right? What you
going to do now?

Yeah, I don't know. Wait, weren't you
elected to create jobs?

Well, yeah, but they put me on the sewer
committee.

You want to do that? Well, you know,
I've been dealing with Benny's shit.

Might as well deal with everyone else's.

I'll put the word in on Monday.

There you go.

Now I don't need to give you four
months' pay.

Sorry I'm late.

Mama's car died before she took mine.

Had to black the cabin open.

Wait, wait. Aren't you black the cab?

No, man. I sold it when I got the
Alfonso job.

You mind taking a look at Mama's car?

You're the only one she'll let touch it.
I'll come by your place tomorrow.

Grab a cup.

Girl, you ain't got to look at me like
that. I don't leave for another month.

No. You got a little peep -a -poss right
here.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on.

When I go to France, I won't be around
to block this.

You look nice.

I ain't changed.

You gonna be around later?

I might.

Cool.

You see, I had him crawling over here
back to me.

See? It's all about the long game.

Damn!

Damn!

Noah, let me get this straight.

You? Make these greens.

These greens right here.

Grandma Yang's recipe.

Can we write a book together? Me and
Grandma Yang.

Write a fad.

Or she gonna be a ghostwriter.

Come on, Frank. I got a chunk of my
money back.

Let's just buy him another garage.

It'll be his Christmas gift.

Lucretia, no.

Remember the luggage? How good that
felt?

Chase the dragon with me, Frank.

We're all moving on.

I don't want to move on.

They love me.

Stay strong.

Vinnie, we are damn proud of you.

Stock market, Frank.

Back at you.

All right, everybody, gather round. It's
time for a toast.

Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink.

So...

This garage has been a part of our
family for a long time.

In fact, it helped raise our family. And
so I think that we need to raise a

glass. Oh, Virginia, we don't want to
hear all that right now.

I just think it would be, you know,
cathartic to acknowledge what this

has been to us, to the culture.

Boo. Stop booing your mama.

But that was you.

OK, well, go turn the radio up.

Yeah, but not too loud. The new owners
don't know we in here.

All right.

To Benny's Garage.

Benny's Garage.

It's just seaweed, Hector.

It's not a shark. You okay?

Where is he going?

Sidney, go get him. He's causing a
scene.

That's right. Just because you black,
you still got to wear sunscreen

Nope.

Clashes with my cologne.

What are you wearing anyway?

Old fish?

Ah, we finally made it, huh?

Yes, we did.

Lucretia Turner?

Nathan. Oh, damn.

Now I got to wear a life jacket for the
next six months.

Back away from the railing, Frank. He's
a pusher.

I can see you're still upset about me
knocking you off that jetway and into

open grave.

Two different times.

But that's not going to happen on this
boat.

Not to me.

Frank, are we in international waters
yet? I'm afraid to tell.

Don't matter. Take my cane.

so you can grab it. I'm just so angry
right now.

Idiot. Finally, culture.

Okay, our first job's tomorrow at 7 .30.
Come pick me up at 8.

You coming in to eat? Oh, no, Tony's
taking me to Savannah's house.

Oh, Tony, give me a job.

I've been working here two weeks.

We just got this van. We all been here
two weeks. That's not the point. You

can't be just doing it. No, I'm not
always doing it. You can't be just doing

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Y 'all figure it out. I'm getting out.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby. How was your day?

Busy. Might need a second van.

Did you solve the city's problems?

Uh, all but one.

Still trying to figure out Grandma
Yang's greens recipe.

I've been down a... Fat back rabbit
hole.

You're gonna have to let those greens
go.

Can I please do a trampoline park for my
birthday?

Yeah, you just healed from that suitcase
accident.

The lotus room will be fine.

Mm -hmm.

I can't wait to get out of Indiana.

Damn it, here we go.

I thought one kid would be easier.

No.

You just know there's more wrong with
the one that's left.

You know, I'm not used to only cooking
for three people.

Let me take your mind off of it.

Let's play some music.

Okay.

You can't dance to that.