All language subtitles for The Upshaws s07e11.eng

Baby, get the door.

I got you, baby.

Thank you.

Honey, please wash that oil stain off of
the driveway, or I will. Okay, don't

you touch my oil stain.

It's all of the car that I have left.

Yes, I know. You built it with your own
hands.

Why don't you grab these groceries and
build us some dinner?

I thought we was cutting back. This
cereal has cartoons on the back I

Relax, it's just cereal.

I'm just saying right now.

Our money ain't magically delicious.

Ooh, girl, I'm here.

Arthritis.

What are you doing here?

Your election day is tomorrow.

Oh, Lord, what are you running for now?

Nothing. The election already happened.

You lying.

Oh, girl. Girl, you know, my body clock
is all topsy -turvy ever since I was

trying that ayahuasca.

I'm really here, right?

Yes. Oh, cool.

I'm so sorry I missed it. Oh, but the
important thing is you gave it your all.

A snail cannot crawl fast, but if it
crawls with purpose. Oh, bitch.

I won.

Oh, oh, you did.

Oh.

Look at you overcoming the odds.

Well, you know what? I ain't got to be
here.

I'm going to go comfort Spencer.

He's going to need an ample bosom to cry
on.

I'm still sad about my car.

What are you going to let me cry on?

Used to be.

You about to be staring at where I used
to be if you don't warm up.

You want to earn these beads or not?

I thought we were doing Bourbon Street
booty call.

No, we were getting theme nights going
to prepare for our cruise.

You added booty call.

You should be feeding me pralines.

I should be looking up old girlfriends.

Just give me ten minutes.

Then I promise you can look at my
crayfish.

Where you going? Ten minutes of talking.

Okay.

I'm listening.

Okay. Now, my head is saying cutting
Benny off is the right thing to do.

But my heart is saying maybe it's not
the right time.

Well, when would be the right time?

After we give them a quick $8 ,000.

This is hard for me.

Every time I get close to cutting them
off, like visions of the Dust Bowl start

popping up.

A little patch in shoes.

Maya in a bread line.

Regina down by the creek beating clothes
on a rock.

You know what you are?

You're a junkie.

What you call me?

You're addicted to your family.

You're a helpaholic.

Your ass need to go to a helper, Dawn
Clinton.

Sound crazy.

Shoot. I can quit helping any time I
want.

They could have rats chewing on their
body. I'll walk right past them.

I might believe that if you weren't
clearly Venmoing them money right now.

This my last one, Frank. I promise.

more great.

Damn.

Just one gold bell.

Damn.

Oh, is this how we're going to build
generational wealth?

I don't care about no kids I ain't met.
I need the money today.

Damn.

Well, I'm here. I cannot wait for you to
see what I got for you.

Lucretia, if I wasn't allergic to ugly,
I'd kiss you.

I knew you had my back.

Hey, I ain't got your back, your front,
your side, your neck, your lobe, that

little thing that hangs in the back of
your throat, your knees, the back of

knees, nothing.

I'm about to break your day.

T -5 -4 -5.

Frank, get your big ass in here.

Well, my chiropractor's gonna love this.

politician needs a big -ass industrial
shredder.

Look, somebody on that council is
crooked. When the fans knock on your

sister ain't gonna have no evidence.

Yesterday, we voted to keep recycling
bins blue.

Okay, well, look, when Councilman
Stevens got busted, I bet he wish he had

sister who was thinking they can get all
the Pakistani children they want.

They ain't never gonna be able to take
your papers back together.

All right, McChrystal, quick plan. What
you got for me?

Benny, I ain't got your pinky toe.

I ain't got your nostrils. I ain't got
your... What is this little lip -dipping

called? What is that?

Filtrum. Everybody already know that,
Virginia.

And you ain't special.

And your sister ain't shit.

Fee -fi -fo, fuck y 'all.

Hey, who removed my stain?

Oh, there it go.

I appreciate this, I guess, but where
the hell am I supposed to put that?

We're building you a home office in the
basement.

We?

We didn't even want to come over here.

We were happy in the tub, eating
pralines.

I'm ripping out everything.

Gonna give you a separate entrance, redo
the floors, put in a little kitchen.

Oh, yeah, because that's just what I
need, a kitchen under my kitchen.

Well, that's where it has to go, Regina.
That's where the pipes are.

I mean, rerouting them would just be an
unnecessary expense.

It's all unnecessary.

All right, fine. No kitchen.

But, you know, let me go rip out some
drywall.

I'll let the basement tell me what it
wants to be.

It wants to be a basement. Damn.

Frank,

you're not going to stop your woman?

Are you?

Ain't y 'all supposed to be going on a
cruise, huh?

Isn't she supposed to be out shopping
for bikini tracksuits?

Look, I know this is a delicate subject
for you, Regina, but you've got to stop

letting your sister help you. I just
told her I don't want this Pakistani

children's shredder.

And then you let her go into the
basement.

Look, now that she's cut Benny off,
she's itchy, Regina.

You talking like she a junkie.

Yes. Good.

See, she didn't get that.

But she is.

She's a junkie, and you are her fix.

Well, why would you bring the junkie to
the crack house?

Because the junkie's got a gun.

All right, Tony.

I know how we're going to save this
shop.

Oh, shit.

A plan.

You know, I stayed with a plan.

We are now open for 24 hours.

Like, all together?

I don't want to do that, man. When do we
get to sleep?

When we rich.

Tony, think about it.

Cars break down at night, too.

We are literally sleeping on money.

Like, we be asleep, and cars are
breaking down, so we missing the money.

money's out there in the street. We
sleep.

Right. Look, um...

You my man, and, you know, as a friend,
I'm all in. But as an employee, we got

to stop doing this.

I mean, jump from scheme to scheme. We
don't have a safety net. Lucretia ain't

going to bail us out.

We don't need her.

All we need is this Red Bull and this no
-no.

It's like speedball. You be down, then
you be up, then you be down, then you be

up.

Don't try it first. You're going to love
it.

Hey, y 'all open?

Hey, y 'all open? Hey, Burnt Goat here.
Yeah, we open.

Hey, what's going on? Tony, get your
sleeping ass up. I told you people would

coming, man. What time is it?

God damn, it's normal business hours.

We've been open so long, we open again.

We was supposed to be open a half hour
ago, man. You slept that way, you're

still late.

Is there a third guy I could talk to?

Third people always leave. What you
need, man?

Something's wrong with the alignment in
my delivery van.

Keeps making lefts when I don't want to
make lefts. Oh, yeah, Tony, come on,

man. Keep drinking drugs. Go pull it
around.

I got a work order over here.

There's a pothole in front of my flower
shop that keeps tearing my trucks up.

City keeps saying they'll fix it, but
nothing happens.

Well, my wife's a city council. You want
me to holler at her?

I'd love that.

But how much we talking?

I don't really know how this works, but
I could probably slide you a couple

hundred.

Dollars?

Councilwoman Regina Upshaw back to do
the people's business.

Ma 'am, it's like I keep telling you.
You have a badge.

You can just keep it moving.

Kelvin?

Damn.

Hey, Miss Regina.

Let me look at you. No need to look for
scars.

I'm cool.

Well, we've been worried about you.

And I'm a little more worried since I'm
seeing you in a building full of

courtrooms.

What did you do?

I'm just dropping off some Thai food.

Kelvin, I don't know the lingo, all
right? What is that code for?

Miss Regina, I'm doing post
-maintenance.

You got a job. Oh, honey, you got a job.
That's what's up, boy.

Does your dad know you got a job? No.

And I don't want him to.

He's not the big one yet.

Kelvin, uh -uh.

There is never a wrong time to call your
dad, even if it's your one phone call.

You see me working, right?

Kelvin, great Honda.

But look, I'll call him when I'm ready.

I promise.

All right, but...

You're going to start answering my texts
again, okay? If I got to wait on

telling him, I'm not going to wait on
hearing from you.

Yes, ma 'am.

Yes, ma 'am.

Okay.

Now, wait a minute. Now, what special
instructions did they give you, huh?

Because my delivery guy yesterday was
all over the damn place.

I damn near had to meet him at the
restaurant.

Oh, no, Frank.

Lucretia is wearing me down.

If she figures out a way to get that
skylight in the basement, I'm going to

her do it.

You're doing great. I am so proud of you
for killing that second -entrance

nonsense. My wallet thanks you.

It was the look in her eyes.

That wasn't your sister.

That was the itch.

You're winning, Regina.

Oh, okay, but I think that she is going
crazy. And that's what habeas corpus

means, Frank.

I'm the lawyer.

Y 'all can talk about me. I don't care.

I'm taking care of my family. Bernard,
get your slow ass in here.

Yeah, we all equal until it's time to
carry shit.

You're the one breaking your lease
early. That comes with penalties.

I just can't waive those.

You absolutely can. They're your
penalties.

You were so right about getting rid of
that separate entrance.

I would sacrifice the wall.

face. Now there's room for Bernard to
build a wet bar.

For Bernard to build what?

I don't want a wet bar. Baby, take that
back to your car.

This is crazy.

He can take it wherever.

He's still got to paint it. He's still
got a what?

Do you want your damage deposit back?

Come on, Bernard.

I got you.

I can't wait for San Diego to have me
building and painting all kinds of shit.

Don't worry. I'm going to waive all his
little fees.

I just needed the help. You need a lot
of help.

I know.

Well, Hector jumped out the car when he
found out where we were going.

Okay, Mom, I found some good flights.

It's not that much money to go to
France.

Says the person who doesn't have any
money at all.

Regina, you told me you had this
covered. This baby needs to go to

Preach, Auntie.

I do have it covered, Lucretia. I know
you want to believe that's true.

You know what?

I had to exchange some money for our
trip.

Just let me get a baby some euros.

I'll take it. Thank you, Auntie.

Even their money's prettier.

They really put a lot of thought into
this.

What did I tell you about helping,
Lucretia?

It ain't even real money until she
crosses the ocean.

Ooh, speaking of water, I'm thinking
about a koi pond in the basement.

So, do you like orange, white, or
assorted?

I don't like any of it. I don't need,
nor do I want any of it.

You're going to need something.

You're a city council now.

It's not like the clinic. You're going
to have to actually do this job.

I'm just saying, what if Maya gets sick?

We're all going to be gone.

You never have anyone to help you.

This way you can stay home with Maya, do
your job.

You can have it all.

I'm giving you it all.

Well, this is the time when you should
be giving yourself something.

Wait a minute.

Are you secretly calling me old?

I would do a backflip in this bitch
right now.

I'd actually love to see that.

No, you were in the middle of making a
point.

Lucretia, I'm not saying it's not going
to be an adjustment with all of you guys

being gone, but my recent upset
political victory has shown all of us I

land on my feet like you claim to do
after a backflip. So we're going to move

this table.

I don't think you're doing this right.

This is supposed to be flat. This looks
like a pitcher's mouth.

Of course I don't know what I'm doing. I
don't do this. I don't work for the

city, Benny.

You're supposed to have Regina fill this
shit in. You know damn well Regina

wouldn't take no bribes. And you know I
need the money.

Look, let's just call this people up and
go. What we're doing is illegal anyway.

Well, it shouldn't be.

That's not how crime works.

Look, we helping people. You think it's
illegal to put a quarter in somebody

else's meter?

Yes, it is.

Damn. Good thing I ain't never did it.

You didn't have to open up your version
of the good stuff.

Sure I did.

You're family.

Family's everything.

Oh, God.

Are you trying to borrow money?

Have you seen that tall drinker bank
account I'm married to?

It just seems...

that every time I'm in town, you're here
instead of in Atlanta and that

supposedly big house that ain't none of
us ever seen.

It is big.

If you stood up and get on your tippy
toes, you could see it from here.

This is not making me believe that it's
real.

Look, Regina's the one in trouble.

We have to give her money.

My money.

Which I have plenty more of, by the way.

Oodles.

Um, the really wealthy don't call it
oodles.

Why are you trying to launder what you
got through me?

Because all of a sudden, I'm not allowed
to help her with anything.

Like, she wouldn't even let me finish
putting in her home office.

I can see that.

If you lived in that house, would you
want to spend more time there?

Fair.

But this money is for Leah. I'm trying
to pay for her to study abroad.

What Regina's talking about, we'll
figure it out. They ain't gonna figure

out. They ain't got no new thoughts.

Well, she did win an election.

Barely.

Oh, my God.

I just realized, you hate that she won,
don't you?

What? Why would you say that?

I've never been proud of Regina's dumb
ass.

No. You hate that she did it mostly
without you.

That's why you are determined to act
like she's incapable.

I'm not determined.

I'm just trying to help my favorite
sister.

Yeah, I said it.

I ain't trying to win that prize.

Look, it's bad enough I get this from
Frank.

I'm telling you, nobody knows this
family like I know this family.

Sometimes fresh eyes let you see fresh
things.

It's like I say on my book tour.

Sometimes fresh eyes let you see fresh
things.

Do your followers know that you don't
have a degree in anything?

Hey, Benny, I appreciate your wife
getting rid of that fairyland in front

store.

Wasn't nothing but a can of white paint.

Benny, Benny, we gotta take a night off.

What you talking about? You never take a
night off when it come to making money.

I am exhausted. I almost microwaved my
own screwdriver.

Who told you to take a lunch break? We
busy.

You next.

There's a stop sign by my kid's school
that has a tree growing over it. Can

wife get it trimmed? She can wax that
shit raw.

My kids go there, man.

Oh, no disrespect, man.

Yeah, man, just text me the address.

Benny, are you out your goddamn mind?

Are you taking bribes in my name?

Who said that?

I ain't taking bribes from nobody.

We still good on that tree, right?

I don't know you.

some flower shop guy thanking me for
making his pothole a speed bump. There

go. People finally like you.

Besides, Tony Googled it.

As long as you get paid after, the law
says cool.

I don't care what the law says. I'm in
government now.

Benny, I'm not going to spend my whole
term looking over my shoulder wondering

when you're going to get my ass
impeached.

My shop is failing because of that damn
election.

I lost Spencer's business because you
had to run.

Bullshit. I was already running.

Thank you.

The only reason Spencer even got in the
race is because of you. You shot your

mouth off about my blackface photo.

You got in your own way. You always get
in your own way.

Yeah, for the family. Oh, my God!

Are you kidding me right now? If I have
to hear, for my family, one more damn

time, you and La...

Oh, y 'all are the same.

Oh, I can say some mean shit, too.

Yeah, look what you're wearing.

I dream a genie.

Both of you love to use this family as
an excuse to do whatever the hell you

want to do anyway and kiss my genie ass.
I look good as hell.

I keep my dreams up.

You know?

Y 'all love talking about how my dreams
are always getting in everybody's way. Y

'all always clowning me about holding us
back.

And yet...

I

can't remember the last time I wrote a
check. Even y 'all's money is

stuck in the past.

Just make sure she takes it.

Oh, Lord.

Whatever y 'all are doing, I'm not in
the mood.

Oh, don't worry, Regina. I'm going to be
quick. I got a hair appointment, and I

only kind of care about this.

I recognize that I have not stepped up
for the family like Lucretia has.

So, here.

Send whichever little girl to France.

I see you.

I know.

This is unbelievable.

Oh, girl, don't get all mushy.

The fact that you would cover for
Lucretia like this is very sweet.

Huh? You ain't never been generous a day
in your life.

And you, oh my goodness, you are just
cuckoo bananas.

I tried.

Not hard with several little girls. I
can't keep track of all them kids. You

like nine of them.

What? Because, Lucretia, I told you that
I was fine. I told you to go on your

funky little cruise, and now I'm telling
you to leave me alone.

But, look, you need help. I don't need
help. Stop it!

That's why it feels like you got so many
kids, because y 'all act like children.

Now sit it.

If you don't sit your... Sit it, because
you want to sit.

My knees was already bent.

Regina, you're not the problem.

Lucretia, you're not the problem.

Y 'all both the problem.

Y 'all are codependent as hell.

Now, wait a minute. My therapist said
that. Did I sound like I was done?

Now, Regina, you got knocked off course
at a vulnerable age, and Lucretia was

there for you. Of course, she became
your de facto caregiver.

But now that you've come into your own,
you've been being a little asshole about

it.

Yeah, slapping down arbitrary boundaries
with no consideration for your part in

the dynamic is cruel.

I'm glad you brought that up because I
feel like... And I feel like you need to

shut up.

Now, Lucretia.

Putting all your attention on someone
else's difficulties, of course it's

safer and simpler than focusing on
yourself.

I need you to stop deflecting on the
others and worry about your damn self.

You know what?

The bottom line is, y 'all need to cut
the bullshit.

How's that for a degree, bitch?

She done.

She's so dumb. You hear all that, dumb?

It would be nice to not worry about you
while I'm gone.

It would be nice to know that you
weren't worrying.

So what do we do?

If I can help you, I'm going to want to.

I'm in government now.

I know. We're all very proud of you,
Regina.

No.

That's why you can't be writing me
checks and gifting me home offices.

You are a prominent pillar in the
business community.

Shit, I am the business community.

Right. And bad optics.

Please, I got enough impropriety with
Benny. So, in a way, leaving you alone

would be the most helpful thing I could
do.

Unless you really needed me.

Every day that you are on that crude,
not all up in my business, that's just

carrying me.

Unless I really need you.

Okay. So, I ain't gonna do shit else for
you.

For you.

Unless you really need me.

Can't do shit for me because I don't
want shit from you.

Unless I really need you.

Could be still unhealthy.

We find a net.

Tony, I got a plan.

Yeah.

We selling copper wire.

You can't just sell copper wiring.

Okay, then lemonade then, nigga. Shit,
we drowning.

Open up your mind, Tony.

Open your mind, Tony.

Okay.

Hey, pups.

Hey, son.

What's up?

How you doing?

You need anything?

Nah, I'm good.

Just got through dropping off some food
nearby.

Thought I'd stop by and see if you
wanted to chop it up. Oh, you doing

deliveries now? Boy, I'm proud of you.

Nah, it ain't nothing.

Nah, man, you handling your shit.

Because you could be in the penitentiary
working for a dollar a day.

I leveled up at those racing classes you
paid for.

Boy, I bet you fast getting them people
they fooled. Get them tips.

I sure am.

I sure am.

Besides, this time I do something
different, right?

Couldn't keep being an asshole forever.

Man, let's go get something to eat.

Okay, I'm here.

What could wait for tomorrow?

Hey, I'm gonna say something.

Might sound crazy.

I don't want no big argument from you.

But I'm selling the shop.

Cool.

Hey, hey, hey.

Give me some kind of little argument. A
little bit.

It's your shop.

It's your decision.

Yeah, I gotta do it.

I can't be an asshole forever.

Yeah, but you did have quite the run.

You kept pace.

Now, help me sell this place, Lucretia.

We started this together.

We're going to win this together.

Give me a hug. Oh, we ain't got to do
all that.

Love you. Love you.

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