Original subtitles

I am so excited about watching this film.

It's so weird that the first time we're seeing the movie

it's essentially already finished.

Yeah, that's what happens when you're a final-cut director

like Ron Howard, you know?

You win two Oscars, you make some movie that made billions of dollars,

- you can kinda do whatever you want. - Oh, God. I love final-cut screenings.

I don't have to give notes.

We're not gonna need to give notes. This shit's gonna be perfect.

- I love Ron Howard. - Yeah.

- A Beautiful Mind. - Yeah.

When you realize that Paul Bettany is imaginary, my head exploded.

That is a plot twist! Fuck M. Night Shyamalan.

Yeah. It's such a good plot twist.

All right, fam! Let's roll this shit!

So effin' pumped. Ronald Howard movies are a fucking mood.

And then a fucking action movie.

We've got Anthony Mackie.

He's gonna bring in that young, hip audience.

I'm obsessed with Anthony Mackie.

Then you've got Dave Franco.

He's gonna line up those ladies moister than an oyster.

Please do not say that.

Okay, can we dim the fucking lights, please?

I got a meeting with the D'Amelios after this.

- Let's do this thing! - These happy days are ours, bitches!

Let's go.

- Drive! Hey! Drive! - Hey. Take it easy.

- Hey, I don't know where you're going. - Fucking anywhere! Just fucking go, man!

- All right. There's no need to yell. - Just fucking drive!

- Mother... Oh, shit! - Fuck!

- Fucking drive, man! - Look, I don't...

Oh, shit!

Go!

Oh, shit!

- Oh, shit! - Oh, shit!

Find me that fucking cab.

- Yeah! Are you kidding me! - Okay, Ron! Okay!

- That is how you start a movie. - Wow.

- Yes. - Pretty fucking good.

Okay.

- Just pull the bullet out of my gut. - I'm not doing that.

I'll give you $10,000!

You're a dumbass! I could wait for you to die and take the whole thing.

I'd fucking kill you if you did that!

- Please, help! - All right, fine.

All right. Let me go across the street to the dim sum spot,

- get some chopsticks. - Yeah. Get me some shrimps. I'm starving.

Don't forget the fortune cookies!

This is playing a lot funnier than I thought it was going to.

Yeah. This shit slaps.

You and me, we're not so different.

Got people we loved.

People we let down.

People we lost.

But it ain't over for us.

Okay, just because we did bad

doesn't mean we can't still do some good.

Get out of the car!

There's no way out!

Don't even think about it!

Fuck it.

Fuck yeah!

- No way! - No.

- What a fucking ending! That was unreal. - What just happened? What?

- That was incredible. - Oscars!

- That's Ron Howard's best movie. - One of the best endings I've ever seen.

- I am stunned. - Wait. There's more.

- Okay, let me sit. - Amazing.

Yeah, this is a little...

- Just a little PS. - ...a little motel tag. Postscript.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Oh, my God. It's the kid from the picture.

Oh, fuck. It's finally over.

- What the fuck was that, huh? - I don't know.

- Okay, it's definitely long. - Yeah!

But a lot of movies are long these days, you know?

Like, the last Marvel movie I saw was three fucking hours...

Marvel movie? This was not a three-hour fucking superhero movie. Okay?

That motel sequence? What the fuck was that, man?

There were no, like, monsters or fights or Deadpools.

It was just people fucking staring at each other.

Yeah, it's too long.

You gotta be delulu if you think people are gonna watch that.

This is gonna make my job fucking impossible

'cause it's gonna destroy word of mouth.

Wait, is this the final cut?

No, Ron's still tweaking with a few little things.

Great. So you can give him that note to cut

that fucking interminable motel sequence.

Uh-huh. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah.

- Wait, what? Why are you acting so weird? - What?

- Are you delulu? - No, I'm not delulu.

Hey, I think that motel sequence sucks, okay?

- Okay. - Yeah.

Well, Ron is coming by at one o'clock for a marketing meeting.

Just gonna show him some early poster concepts.

Just pop by and give him the note then.

Okay, well, before we start giving legendary directors notes willy-nilly,

we should drill down. You know, make sure it's actually like a very valid note.

I mean, now that I think about it, maybe that motel sequence,

maybe it's not that bad, right?

- It's bad. - What? Dude, it's terrible.

- And if you cut it, the movie is perfect. - It's bad.

Well, maybe we're just not getting it.

Ron is a very thoughtful filmmaker.

So the kid is Anthony Mackie's character's dead son,

so it's like a visual metaphor for... for his dead son?

No. It's obviously a dream sequence.

- He was a ghost. - A ghost?

The kid was a ghost.

We can't even agree on what the fuck it means.

That is the clear sign that this movie is wack as fuck.

It's true.

You seem to have a good handle on this thing...

Yeah, I do.

...so maybe you should give Ron the note in the meeting. You know?

Hell no, bitch.

No, you... A director is not gonna fucking take a note from marketing. Matt...

I'm sorry. What is the problem?

Isn't Ron Howard famously the nicest man in Hollywood?

Well, that's the thing... is... you know.

He actually has a reputation for being very nice and humble.

But I've heard from, you know, sources,

that he is actually, like, a mean, vindictive asshole.

- Ron Howard? Name your source. - What?

That's what I've heard. That's wh... I don't wanna... I...

That's what I heard, okay?

Okay. Does he get mean sometimes?

- Does Opie get mean? - He gets mean.

- Why are you acting weird about this? - I'm not acting weird about it.

You give brutal studio notes all the time.

And it's usually to people who hate you.

But Ron Howard actually seems to fucking like you.

- Yeah, I'd like to keep it that way. - Dude.

Look, I'll give him the note, okay? Fine.

- I'll just give him the note. - He's coming at 1:00.

Okay, I'll give him the note at 1:00.

Ron Howard is in the lobby.

Oh, shit. He's 15 minutes early.

Should I tell him to leave?

No, that's okay. I'll come down and say hi in a minute.

Ron.

- Oh, hey. - Hey.

- Great to see you. - Likewise.

Just wanted to tell you in person how much we adored the film.

It's so good, man. And we're so lucky to have you on our team here.

- Well, thank you. That's so kind. - Yeah, no, my pleasure.

Well, you know, I've been showing it to people and stuff,

and been getting some very encouraging feedback.

That's great. Hey, I love feedback. Yeah.

- Well, as long as it's good, right? - Exactly. Good feedback.

- That's the best feedback. - Hell, yeah.

- Hell, yeah. - Yeah.

So what, you got any feedback?

Yeah, actually I do.

And that is...

you rule, man.

There's my feedback. You rule.

- I'll take that all day long. - I'll give it all day.

Yeah, great. Awesome. There you go. All right.

I just gotta run back upstairs real quick. I'll see you in the meeting.

- I gotta make a call anyway. - Great. You do that.

I'll see you in a sec.

Oh, fuck. Sorry! Sorry about that.

- How'd it go? - Really good.

- Really good? - Uh-huh.

- What happened? - We talked. It went well.

- Hey, what's the D? - The D is all gravy.

- It's all gravy? - Uh-huh.

- Yeah. - What does that mean?

It means we talked and it was very, very nice.

You didn't tell him, did you?

- Did you give him the note? - You told him, right?

No, look at his pussy-ass face. He didn't say shit.

I opted out of delivering the note.

- There you go. - Jesus Christ.

I decided it was not prudent of me to do it.

- What? Why? - Because I'm known as being

the most talent-friendly studio head in all of Hollywood.

And I decided, strategically, it was not worth risking that reputation.

- I don't think you have that reputation. - What are you talking about?

It is literally your job to do this. We need this movie to work.

I can't sell this never-ending snory. Nailed it.

Here's what you don't understand, that I have now grown, too, as a leader.

You know, you do not send your general out to the front lines to die.

The strategically smart thing to do is you send in expendable cannon fodder.

Sal, you fucking do it.

- I'm not cannon fodder. Fuck you! - Fuck you. You are!

- I'm not doing it. I can't do it. - I think he should. You got to.

I was sleeping during the motel sequence.

You were fucking texting. You text and sleep at the same fucking time?

- Yes, I do. I sleep like that. - ...absolute bullshit.

I will fucking do it. I will do it, okay?

Because, unlike you guys, I'm not a bitch.

I don't care if Ron Howard likes me.

I care about making good, entertaining movies.

We're not out to ruin this guy's life.

We're trying to save him from himself.

Yeah. Pop off, girl.

Quinn, I love what you are saying. It's very validating to me as a mentor.

- I'm very proud of you right now. - Feels good.

Here's what's gonna happen. I'll introduce you to Ron,

and you just tell him this whole motel shit is fucking wack!

- Yeah. All right. Okay. - You got this.

- This is your time to shine. Okay? - Yeah.

- I'm excited to see this. - Yep. Okay. Thanks.

Oh, fuck.

- What is he doing here? No, no. - It's fine. This changes nothing.

- I can't. - No, you can do this.

- This is good. You got this. - He's my favorite actor.

- You got two moments that you put... - Hey. How's it going?

- Hey, Matt. How's it going? - Mackie, I wasn't expecting you here.

Well, I'm a producer on the movie,

so I came by to see what the poster art's looking like.

- Absolutely. - Great. Well,

- you're so good in the film. - So good.

It's not me. Ron Howard is a bad motherfucker.

There's your poster, right?

How rude of me. I'm sorry. This is one of our young up-and-coming executives.

She's a real cinephile. This is Quinn Hackett.

Hi. Hi, Mr. Mackie.

I'm such a big fan of yours, so...

I'm into cinephilia too.

Oh, my God. I like cinephilia.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Quinn actually saw the film.

- Amazing. Yeah. - Yes.

What did you think?

- Yeah. - You...

Your acting's so good.

- Thanks. - Yeah, I just...

Man, when you act, it's like... It's so good.

- Again, thanks. - Of course, yeah.

You're welcome, of course.

- Is that it? - Yeah.

Wasn't there one more thought you had upstairs you wanted to share

- with the team? - Well... I...

- Yeah. - Yeah. Well, just... It's small.

- It's not anything big. - Yeah.

It's just...

The Hurt Locker was so good. It's an amazing piece of cinema.

- Yeah, well, it certainly was great. - Yes.

It's tremendous.

Second-best movie I ever did.

There is... There's actually... There's one more thing actually, we wanted to say

about the film.

Sure. Yeah. Well, what is it?

- Well... - Warning, warning, warning.

- Genius alert. - Patty, hey.

- Congrats on your new deal. - Yeah. Thanks.

Now where are you set up?

I'm redoing the production offices in the old Lieberman bungalow.

- Nice. - Best on the lot.

That's wonderful. Now did you get my flowers? Purple alliums.

- I remembered. I remember these things. - Good memory there. Yeah.

Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you for sending me your cut.

Well, are you kidding? Thank you for green-lighting the movie.

Well, the movie is sublime.

And you, sir.

Your deepest and most complex performance to date.

I'm just happy to be a part of this man's vision,

- that's all. - Oh, Anthony. You're great.

- And the motel sequence. - Yeah. Actually, we should talk...

So startlingly original and bold.

I get it now. Thank you.

Well, thank you. I'm glad.

So brave to share something so personal.

Oh, my Lord. If there were medals for cinematic courage

you would have a chest full of gold.

Well, thank you. Look, I thought about it and I...

I just decided it was time to put it out there.

- And you gave it time. - Yes.

- You opened it up and gave it breath. - You did.

Yeah. And you took mine away.

So, thank you for that.

Sorry to interrupt.

Marketing's ready to bring you all into the conference room.

- Carry on then. - Beautiful.

You're in good hands with Matty.

Not as soft as mine.

Okay, then. I can practically smell your Oscars.

Get those tuxedos ready, gentlemen.

I'm just gonna run something by Patty real fast.

Bring these guys some snacks.

Bring 'em the whole cart.

Yo, Patty. I gotta talk to you about the motel sequence in Ron Howard's movie.

Beautiful. Moving. Sublime.

Yeah. Way too long though, right?

I almost drilled a hole into my brain

to kill the part of me that senses time.

What... When was it ever gonna end?

Yeah. Why did you tell him you liked it so much?

I'm on my own now, Matty.

I have to suck up to talent like every other schmuck producer in town.

My God, this job is a daily kick in the ovaries.

Yeah. Look, I gotta tell him that I want him to cut it from the movie.

- Don't you even try. It's so personal. - Yeah, I heard you say that.

What's so pers... He didn't tell me that it was personal.

It's so personal he doesn't even want to talk about it.

Well, what does it mean? What is it?

The kid at the motel, he represents a cousin Ron had

- who died when they were both young. - No, really?

Now, that whole sequence is about Ron letting go of the cousin's death

and moving on.

God. That's like worst-case scenario.

No, a sibling would be worse.

Hey, I got a script about an Australian chess team that cheats.

- Will you read it tonight? - Will you talk to Ron

about cutting the sequence from the movie?

Are you kidding? No.

I'm not working on this movie. That's a problem for you to solve, boss.

I just don't get it. If it's so personal to him,

why did he make it so fucking boring?

It's literally insane.

He is insane. He's an artist. Matty, you know this.

They put themselves into things. They project meaning onto their work,

even if it's imperceivable to anyone else other than them.

Sly Stallone thought that Demolition Man was an allegory

about masculinity and modernism in a battle.

Was it?

Oh, no. No, no.

It was a 150-minute commercial for Taco Bell.

But did his delusion get him up every morning

and into that ridiculous futuristic cop uniform?

It did.

My script is called Check Mate. It's in your inbox.

Thank you, Patty.

Hi. Yeah. One sec.

Hey. Yo. Yo.

- Come with me. Come on. On me. On me! - We... Okay. All right.

So, apparently, the entire motel sequence is based on Ron Howard's dead cousin.

It's like a metaphor for letting go or some shit like that,

but we can't cut it. We're fucked.

Wait, his actual dead cousin IRL?

Yes, an actual real-life

- dead Howard family member. Yeah. - Fuck!

Oh, my Go... I mean, this whole backstory kind of makes this whole sequence amazing.

This is not helpful. Not helpful at all.

He should not be burdening audiences with his catharsis.

Go to therapy. Save us 45 minutes of fucking runtime.

Okay, okay, okay.

Remember when we were making Pre-Nup

and there was that long, boring divorce speech?

And I got Jay Roach to cut it

- 'cause I was going through a breakup... - Yeah.

...and I was able to, like, break through to him emotionally.

If one of us had a dead cousin,

we could break through to Ron and make him see

this is not the way to honor your dead cousin.

So, please tell me one of you has a dead cousin.

No. Not me.

Yeah, no.

Sal? You sure you don't have a dead cousin?

Yeah, no. I have a cousin who's in prison in Japan, but...

But Sal...

are you sure you don't have a dead cousin?

- Fuck you, Matt. - Fuck you.

- No. - What's the big deal? Who cares.

I'm not gonna pretend to have a dead cousin

to give Ron Howard a note that you should give him.

Are you stricken by the morality of the situation?

- Yeah. I'm a moral person. - You're very moral.

- Let's talk about Albuquerque. - Okay.

- Why you can't go to Ten Thousand Waves. - Let's talk about New Orleans.

- No! We don't talk about that. - Let's talk about New Orleans.

- There is saliva! Saliva is flying. God. - Easy. Fine!

- What is wrong with you? - Nothing's wrong.

- Why can't you just give him the note? - I don't want to!

Okay. Now look at you.

You look just like my son did

when I caught him watching porn on my iPhone.

Yep, that face.

Okay, look.

There's a reason I don't wanna give Ron the note, and I didn't wanna tell you,

but I'll... Fine, I'll tell you. Look.

In 2001, I was brand new and I got invited

to a friends and family screening of A Beautiful Mind.

And after the screening, everyone's sitting around and giving notes.

They're pitching ideas. And so I raise my hand

and I share a thought with Ron.

- Okay. And? - What was that thought?

Well, I...

I suggested that, you know, perhaps it would be fun

if the audience knew that Paul Bettany's character was imaginary the whole movie.

- Spelling it out like they're idiots? - You thought that was fun?

That's the whole twist.

I get it. It was not a great idea.

- You should've been fired! - It was not a bad note. Okay.

It was innocent enough.

And honestly, Ron, he fucking roasts me afterwards, okay?

He lights my ass up in front of the whole fucking screening.

He's like, "What a dumb fucking note, you fucking clown.

How dare you suggest something so stupid, you dumb motherfucker."

- Ron Howard called you a motherfucker? - Ron Howard called me a motherfucker!

To my face, man.

And all my favorite filmmakers are there and they're fucking eating this shit up.

They're dying. Ron is crushing with this shit.

Steven Soderbergh slapping his leg, guffawing.

Joel Coen's chuckling his fucking titties off.

It was honestly the worst moment of my professional life.

And since I have no, you know, real personal life,

it makes it just the worst moment of my life.

Okay, okay, okay.

Does he right now know that you are that guy?

No. See, that's the thing... is...

Ron has not, like, pieced together that I am that person.

He seems to actually really like and respect

the person that he currently thinks I am. And I would like to keep it that way.

And so,

I'm just not gonna give him the note. I simply can't do it. Not happening.

End of story. I'm sorry, Sal.

No.

I'm sorry. I refuse.

- Yeah, but they seem excited. - Hey, Ron, Anthony. Sal Saperstein.

- Sal. How are ya? - VP Production, how you doing?

How's it going?

Guys, I just wanted to say congrats on the film.

- It's so great. - Well, thank you.

Thank you. Appreciate that.

Really uplifted my spirits because it has been a rough month.

Really? I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you. Yeah, it's...

Yeah, it's been rough.

No... Well, yeah... That's too bad.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's been rough.

Mostly to the untimely passing of my cousin.

Ron-ald-o.

Ronaldo Saperstein.

Well, you know, sometimes a cousin can...

- can feel like a sibling. - Yeah.

I hear that.

And that's what it... the deal was with Ronaldo and I.

You know, he was my brother from another mother.

Who was my mom's sister.

Man, that's just awful.

And I'm sorry you had to go through that.

- Thanks, Ron. - You know, honestly,

the sequence in the movie that is set in the motel...

Oh, yeah.

Well, that is kind of an ode

to my dead cousin.

- No. - Yeah.

- So... - Oh, my God.

- Anyway, thanks for stopping by. - Yeah.

You know, because we both have dead cousins and for that reason only,

I feel comfortable saying to you, Ron,

that maybe the whole motel sequence is too...

Intense. It's too intense.

And that's kind of the point.

Well, because I want the audience to feel uncomfortable in that sequence, you know.

I want it to fucking hit hard.

It's hitting hard.

Yeah. It really sticks out amongst the rest of the film.

- I mean stylistically. - Well, and again, that's...

- that's the point. - Is it?

- Well, obviously. - Yeah.

Because I want people to really think about that sequence.

No, I want people to question it.

We are.

Well, because my cousin...

my cousin meant everything to me.

I mean, he...

he taught me how to be a man.

- Come on, Ron. - The man I am today.

Beautiful, man.

And if this movie honors him, in even the smallest way...

then maybe I can finally put that part of my life to bed.

And just move on.

Come on, man. Come here.

- Thank you. Thank you, Anthony. - Big man.

I'm so proud of you.

Can I get one of those?

Bring it in, Saul.

It's Sal.

I'm so fucking sorry, Ron.

We are not cutting the motel sequence.

- Are you crying? What happened in there? - No.

Matt, when your cousin dies you have to honor them any way you can.

Totally get that.

You don't have a dead cousin, you fucking psycho.

I know, but for a minute I thought I did. And I...

I knew what it felt like and I get it now.

God! We are all so weak in the face of celebrity.

- No, you two are fucking weak... - No. That was all...

Mr. Mackie, hi.

- How are you? - Hey.

Sorry for the interruption. Do you have a second?

- Yeah. What do you need? - Yeah, not at all.

Look, I'm sorry, Sam.

- Sal. - Yeah, whatever.

I know that the motel sequence touched you personally.

And I know you guys got a lot of love for it...

- Your performance. - You're so good at it.

I know, thanks. Shut up.

It fucking sucks.

- That's what we think. Fucking sucks. - Dog shit.

What are you talking about? You can't say that.

You were just in there crying about your dead cousin.

- I don't have a dead cousin. - So, why did you say you had one?

Because he told me to.

What the fuck?

Look, here's the thing.

We love the film, okay.

We think this could be, like, an all-time classic.

And yes, we think the motel sequence derails the entire film.

Honestly, I thought you liked it.

No. I never liked it.

I didn't like it in the script. I didn't like it when we shot it.

I didn't like it in the movie.

That's why I was waiting for you as the head of the studio

to say he had to fucking cut it.

So go in there and tell him to cut it.

- I don't want to do that. - That's your only job.

It's not my only... I have a lot of jobs around here.

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

Just grab your balls and go in there and do it.

You're the producer of the movie. You do it if you don't like it.

That's not a producer's job. I did my job as a producer.

- That is a producer's job. - You, head of the studio...

- That is your job. - ...that's what you do.

Look, you make shitty movies. I'm here to save your career.

- Help me help you win. - Okay.

You don't want to do it.

I don't want to do it.

These two fucking geniuses are incapable of doing it.

- Thank you very much. - Yes.

- Good job on that. - So sorry.

So, what if we just don't give him the note?

You know what I mean?

Ron loves the sequence. It seems to mean a lot for him.

Sure, it makes the movie a little bit shaggy.

It'll be a little longer,

and a little more boring than we would prefer,

but that doesn't mean we're fucked.

There are plenty of very long,

very boring movies that fucking crush it at the box office.

All right, y'all. I got some piping hot tea about this shit show of a...

Oh, my God. Anthony Mackie.

The movie is a masterpiece. I wouldn't change a fucking thing.

He also hates the motel sequence.

Yeah. This shit sucks.

Mad respect, man.

Thank fucking God.

Okay.

Exhibitor relations just saw the runtime.

They're saying it's gonna cut show times by two screenings a day.

Theater owners do not want movies that long unless they've got capes or aliens.

That's a minimum 15% cut to our revenue.

- Fuck. - Fifteen.

- Griffin's gonna murder all of us. - I'ma murder somebody.

I've got back-end on this shit.

You have to give him the note. You have to!

The meeting is right now.

- Oh, shit. It's just... - You've got to.

- Look, I love Ron Howard. - Oh, my God.

You know what I mean?

He's one of the reasons I wanted to make movies in the first place.

Like Parenthood, you know, Splash, Apollo 13.

I just... I don't want him to hate me.

I can't go through that again. It's very triggering.

My fucking God.

Who gives a shit if Ron Howard hates you?

He is going to be high-key kissing your fucking ball sack if this thing is a hit.

That's all that matters to these people.

- No offense. - No, none taken. That shit's real.

Just give him the fucking note.

- Matt, you've got to do it. - Just do it.

- Gotta do it. - Okay.

- Okay. - I'll do it.

I'll just ask him to stay after the meeting and I'll tell him.

But you, you've got to back me up, okay? He respects you.

- You've got to be right there with me. - I'm with you, man.

Ten toes down, slim pimping hoes slamming Cadillac doors.

I don't give a fuck. I'm doing it with you.

Okay, great. Thank you.

All right, everyone. This meeting is gonna be a vibe.

Alphabet City has really got our engines revving.

Pun very much intended.

And we think we can have a really dope run in theaters

and really break through the clutter.

And we are mad-hyped to show you our early concepts.

Well, that's what we're here for. So let's get to it.

Love the enthusiasm. All right, here's the first up.

Okay.

This one, we really love the beauty of his eyes. Look at those.

Mesmerizing with all of the beautiful light flickering in the background.

This is very classic.

Right? Shows off the cinematography.

- It's pretty good. - Yeah.

- It's nice. - Okay.

Now this one, deadass lit.

New York City. The Big Apple back in the day.

It's got grit. It's got a skyline.

We've got Lady Libs.

And also,

never forget.

Okay, what do we think?

Well, they're both totally viable.

Thank you.

But if I may...

I have an idea that I think could be very, very cool.

Let's hear it.

Okay. I mean...

The motel sequence.

You know, it's special.

We keep hearing how much it stands out to people.

So, what if the poster is Anthony and the kid in front of the motel?

Anthony?

I fucking love it.

Yes! Ah, man.

That is great.

You see, that's why it's fantastic having actors who are also producers.

- Yeah. - They really get the material.

Yeah. Exactly. They really do.

All right. So, I mean, we like it, right?

Any thoughts?

Matt, you had some thoughts about this, right?

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

So, Matt, you have thoughts?

I don't have thoughts.

I had one little, tiny little thoughtlet of an idea that did pertain to that.

I was gonna ask you to stay after and share it, yeah.

You...

you got a note for me?

Not a note, so much as an idea. Yeah.

You got a note for me like you had on A Beautiful Mind?

You remember that?

Yeah.

I sure do. How could I ever forget?

It's, like, seared into my brain.

Oh, man. It's a great story.

All right. Look, I know we're in a meeting,

but who wants to hear a really funny story?

Yeah. I mean, come on.

Everybody loves a story about their boss.

I don't know about that. We've got stuff to do here.

- You know what I mean? - So now I'm going way back, okay?

I had just finished shooting A Beautiful Mind,

so it was like, 2001.

And we're having a friends and family screening.

It plays great, through the roof.

Everybody loves it.

Except one guy.

A young, tiny, little Matt Remick.

Well, so, Matt raises his hand and he actually suggests,

in front of everybody,

you know, Soderbergh, the Coen brothers...

he suggests that throughout the movie we should tell the audience

that the Paul Bettany character is imaginary.

Why, Matt?

- What? - Are you serious?

I mean, he literally wants me to take the entire twist of the movie...

No, no, no.

The entire concept of the movie and just lay it out there.

Just spoil the living shit out of it.

So stupid.

I mean, hands down, it was the single worst note

I've ever had in my entire life.

So...

Oh, wow.

Let me ask you, Matt,

did you see Usual Suspects

and tell them they should keep cutting to Keyser Söze on the phone,

laughing at the way he's fooling the police, huh?

Or, or, or,

or did you bounce your way over to M. Night Shyamalan,

and, you know, tell him that

what he really ought to do is have one of the ghosts say,

"When's Bruce gonna realize he's dead?"

No!

I got one.

He watches Fight Club and he said, "Wouldn't it be fun

if everybody knew that Tyler Durden was imaginary from the start?"

- What the fuck is wrong with you, man? - I'm sorry, dude. This is good shit.

I mean, what the hell were you thinking?

It's a classic, right?

You want a note, Ron?

I'll give you a note.

You made a great film that you are ruining with this self-indulgent motel bullshit.

Fuck you.

My cousin died.

You fucking suit piece of shit!

Your dead cousin deserves much better

than to be honored in the form of a boring fucking movie, man.

- Now you listen to me... - Oh, shit.

...because I will never, ever...

- You lame-ass idiot. - Ron.

- You don't talk to me! - Fuck you, you fucking bald prick.

I don't talk to you.

You want to talk to me? You go get fucking Patty.

Patty's got a brain. You got nothing.

I don't even know why you're in this room. You don't look at me.

Holy shit.

- Hello? - Hey, man.

- It's Ron Howard. - Hey. Yeah. Hey.

Look, I want to apologize.

I shouldn't have ruthlessly mocked you like that.

You know, I think I was so mad because I knew you were right.

Not about A Beautiful Mind. That was epically stupid.

- Yeah, of course. Yeah. - But about the motel sequence,

It does not belong in this movie.

So I just called Anthony and told him.

- Yeah. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. - He was devastated.

- But he gets it. - Okay. Well, thank you.

Thank you so much for calling, Ron. I couldn't appreciate this more, man.

You know, it's all some emotional bullshit that I just need to get over,

but I can't let it affect my work.

Dude, a hundred percent the same thing goes for me.

I should've just given you the note when I saw you this morning.

Instead, I let my own shit get in the way.

I shouldn't have done that.

I should not have said anything about your cousin,

and I definitely shouldn't have called you a bald fuck,

or whatever I said.

I'm really sorry, man.

Okay, so you accept my apology for the insults and the hat throwing...

- Yes. Great. Perfect. Fantastic. - ...and I'll accept yours.

And Matt, cross me again...

- Yeah. - ...I'll fucking destroy you.