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{\an1}HE GASPS
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{\an1}HOOTER GOES OFF
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{\an1}HE YELLS
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{\an1}YELLING AND SHRIEKING
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Yes. Hello.
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Thank you and welcome to Taskmaster
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and a warm welcome it is, too,
because I am in a very good mood.
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00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,260
There's going to be
some very generous scoring today,
10
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,740
lots of positivity,
no harsh judgements,
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00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,500
loads of extra bonus points.
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00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:52,460
And what I've just described is
a dream I had last night.
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I woke up in a cold sweat
and I've been furious ever since.
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I'm so full of hate!
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00:00:57,460 --> 00:01:00,020
So please welcome and pity
Iain Stirling.
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:04,500
Joe Thomas.
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00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,100
Lou Sanders.
19
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,020
Paul Sinha.
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And Sian Gibson.
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00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:15,540
And here by my side is
a biological enigma
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with exactly 30% fewer bones
than the average person.
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{\an1}It's the floppy little Alex Horne.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's true. That's actually true.
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Hi, Greg. Hi. How are you? Fine.
How am I? Yeah - wearing.
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I'll tell you what I'm wearing.
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I'm wearing a newly modified
assistant's coat
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with a rehydration function.
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And if you can see in there,
there's a pouch with a little tube
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00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:43,380
that goes up there, comes out here,
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so at any point you can have
a little drink of squash.
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You need to keep hydrated
because of your skin. OK.
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LAUGHTER
Keep sucking.
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Keep sucking.
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Good. And now dilute with the water.
Dilute... Fucking hell.
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Dilute with the water.
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That's it. Yeah.
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Fuck.
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00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:12,460
I mean, you know - eight series, that
is the first funny thing you've done.
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00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,420
Look how pleased he is with himself.
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I did a thing and he likes it.
He did a thing.
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Right, let's press on.
Price Task. Let's get on with it.
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Yes, today it features
my favourite word
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because they have to bring in
the best slippery thing.
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Want to know my favourite
slippery thing, Greg? No.
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So the person that brings in the
best slippery thing gets five points
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and at the end of the show
the person with the most points
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00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:38,940
will take home
all five slippery things -
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if they can hold onto them.
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00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,140
OK, Sian - Sian Gibson. What slippery
thing have you brought in?
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00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:51,860
Slippers. Here they are.
They are memory foam slippers.
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They are amazing because I've just
discovery memory foam. Yeah?
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It's like walking on little clouds.
Oh, lovely. Mm.
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Do you know what the category was?
Something slippery.
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'Slip... So, purely,
it's got the words... Slipper.
..slipper in it, has it?
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00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:10,660
Yeah. Try and justify it
before I put you in last place.
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I don't know how more slippery you
can get than a pair of slippers.
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In Sian's defence,
I do think they are slip-ons. OK.
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00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:25,620
All right, so they're more slippery
than I thought.
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00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,220
I've still got a bad feeling
about your ranking.
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00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:30,700
Sian's opened the batting.
Who's next? Iain?
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00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:33,500
It's an alien in an egg. Here it is.
The alien in the egg.
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00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,100
From the '90s.
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00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:40,140
It's good. It's got
like slippery gunky stuff.
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00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,420
And there's a little slippery...
Can we see inside it?
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00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:44,700
Yes, I can introduce you
to the inside. There we go.
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00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:48,460
Ah! The bad news for you, Iain, is
that I was a teacher in the '90s,
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00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,580
presumably when you were a child,
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00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:55,260
and I confiscated
many an alien capsule.
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And then kept them
and made your own world.
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Never mind what I did with them.
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The point is I'm fairly certain
they were sticky, not slippery.
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00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:10,540
'They're definitely more slippery
than a slipper.
I am in agreement with you on that.
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00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,780
Lou? Can you beat an alien
or a slipper?
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00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:16,300
Well, have you heard of the phrase
slip-sliding around?
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00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,500
Simon and Garfunkel song? Mm.
More or less.
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00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:23,300
Add Nasty Nick to that,
a slippery character,
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00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,460
and voila.
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It's a... It's a slippy old slide
with Nasty Nick on top of it.
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00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:35,020
It is slippery and she's used
a double meaning for slippery. Mm.
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00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:36,900
Nasty Nick was
a very slippery character.
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00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,780
Yes. They said, "He worms his way
into people's confidentiality."
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00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:42,740
That's the description from
the very first episode. Slippery.
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00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:44,700
What a slippery character!
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00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:46,780
Who's next? Paul?
What could be more slippery,
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00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,780
and I spent a lot of money on this,
than a banana skin?
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There it is.
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00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:55,540
Legendarily slippy.
Old school slippy.
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00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:58,540
Most slippery food product
you will ever eat.
90
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:01,300
And then I thought,
you've heard of banoffee pie,
91
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,020
the portmanteau
of banana and toffee.
92
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,180
So I've gone for ban-jelly pie.
93
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,820
OK. Here's ban-jelly pie.
Ban-jelly pie!
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00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,300
He's not finished yet, Greg.
95
00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:15,380
I mean, I'm already slipping
all over the place.
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00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:18,180
To make it even more slippery...
Yeah?
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00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,980
..I've added a pair of slippers.
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00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,180
What?!
APPLAUSE
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He's a Chaser. Duality of meaning.
100
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:31,180
Slippery can mean slippy
and can mean "like slippers".
101
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:35,380
Why are you only just piping up now?
Why didn't you say this before?
102
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He's upped the game.
He's taken your slippers
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and raised it a jelly
and a banana skin. I know!
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It's looking good for Paul Sinha.
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00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:45,140
Er, Joe... Really? Yeah.
Yeah, really, yeah.
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Hi, Joe. Hello.
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Soap.
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00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:52,140
Five points.
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There is the soap.
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There's no way that...
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00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,300
It's classic.
It's classically slippery.
112
00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:02,220
Yeah, I certainly think of soap
as being slippery
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00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:06,540
but if we can just eke this chat out
for a few more seconds... Yeah.
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00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,580
Er... Soap, soap, soapy, soapy,
soap, soap.
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00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:12,740
If you like soap so much,
Nasty Nick is a soap character,
116
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:14,580
so it works on three levels.
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AUDIENCE: Ah!
Thank... Thank you.
118
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Thank you. She's got a point.
She's a got a point.
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Yeah.
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You've seen all five
slippery things. Yes, please.
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Do you want to judge? Yes, please.
122
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I'm going to give Sian's slippers
two points,
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00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:29,540
just because there was only one level
of slipperiness
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00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:32,740
and that's her feet slipping in
to her non-sticky slippers. OK.
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00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,540
Erm, just because it gave me
happy memories of the '90s
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00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:38,940
and confiscating toys off children,
I'll give Iain three points.
127
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,340
OK. Three to Iain.
128
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:43,020
And you're not going to believe
this but I am going to do it.
129
00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:46,300
I am going to give four points
to the banana king.
130
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:52,340
'But soap is such a slippery
substance, I'm going to give them
four points, Joe and Paul.
131
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,900
Which means that Lou gets
either one or five. That's right.
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00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:59,460
And I thought I'd leave that
as an exciting... Mm.
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Drum roll at the end.
134
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:09,260
'So many levels of slippy -
five points. Five points to Lou!
CHEERING
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OK. Task Time. It is.
136
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And it's a puzzling one with fruit
and bowls and things. Here we go.
137
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,660
Hello, mate. Hello.
138
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:30,300
Oh, you sneaky sausage.
139
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:32,380
Do you want me to...? Yes, please.
140
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,380
Ah. OK.
141
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:40,300
I wouldn't. No? Oh.
142
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Oh, I'm going to love this.
143
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"Find the pink ladies."
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"If you touch or move a bowl,
you must turn it over."
145
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,860
So I can't touch or move one.
146
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,740
Oh, but I can look underneath.
147
00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:55,540
"If you find the green egg
you are disqualified."
148
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,740
No, no, no, no.
The task is on the bench.
149
00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:59,580
Oh, the task is on...
150
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,860
Remember the task?
I remember about the task, yeah.
151
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,300
Erm...
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Most pink ladies wins.
You have ten minutes.
153
00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:07,420
Your time starts now.
I don't understand.
154
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:09,620
If you touch or move a bowl
you must turn it over.
155
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,820
So I just turn all the bowls over?
156
00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:17,140
"Find the pink ladies."
APPLAUSE
157
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,580
So there's not much to say.
Pretty straightforward.
158
00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:26,580
My only observations are, Sian saw
some upturned bowls on some benches
159
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:29,180
and said,
"Oh, I am going to love this."
160
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,780
And, I mean, I've...
161
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:32,860
I can't imagine why.
162
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,460
It's party time.
163
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,260
# Boop! #
164
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:41,180
Erm... And secondly, the phrase
sneaky sausage - simply unacceptable.
165
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:46,140
OK, we're going to let Iain and Joe
have a go first.
166
00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:48,420
It's the Needy Guys.
167
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,380
You can't... Whoa!
168
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,700
I nearly feel and hurt myself then.
169
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,180
It feels a bit pervy,
looking up at the bowl.
170
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,580
I mean, I don't know
if that's what you're meant to do.
171
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,740
I mean, I don't know -
I'm just going to do this.
172
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,820
'Oh, I see. The pink...
Right, OK. Well, that's one.
173
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,260
'They're apples. Of course.
174
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,820
Oh! Is pink ladies an apple?
175
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,220
Oh-ho! Sussed it, son!
176
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:20,700
'That is actually...
That's working quite well, actually.
177
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:21,740
Huh!
178
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:24,340
That is a pink lady!
179
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:28,540
That one, I can't see it. For what
it's worth, I think that's...
180
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:32,500
The oranges are just...
That's just a non-event? OK.
181
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,100
Well, I mean, is it...? Well.
182
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,060
OK, yeah, right, fine.
I'm telling you.
183
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:40,340
'It's a pink lady.
184
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,580
'Oh, no! You have to turn that one
over.
185
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:44,260
'No. You have to. You touched it.
186
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,500
If that's a green egg...
187
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,820
Pink lady!
188
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:53,500
Yeah. That's three.
189
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,100
Pink lady.
190
00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:57,500
'On that one it says,
"Look at the cow." Right.
191
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:59,860
What cow? Look at the cow?
192
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,740
Which word is he struggling with?
Well, I suppose it's cow.
193
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,500
"Look at the back of the clipboard."
194
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,820
Is this looking at the cow?
195
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,740
Is it your clipboard?
196
00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:13,220
Oh, my God.
197
00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,500
"Look on the other side of the cow."
198
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,460
For fuck's sake!
199
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:21,980
"There are five pink ladies."
That's not any use to me!
200
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,900
Oh!
201
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,420
I've got them.
There are five pink ladies.
202
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,340
I've got five,
so I think I'm finished.
203
00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:30,820
WHISTLE BLOWS
Thank you, Joe. Thanks a lot.
204
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:34,740
'Do you want to showboat
by opening the other two?
I really want to showboat.
205
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,380
Ah, OK. Interesting.
206
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:40,660
What have you found?
I've found a little grid here.
207
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:44,820
There's a diagram. I think that's
another satsuma in the middle.
208
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,580
And that's the green egg.
209
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,500
Oh, no!
210
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,140
Oh!
211
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:54,660
Right.
212
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:58,500
I want to showboat.
I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
213
00:10:58,540 --> 00:11:00,060
What did I say? That one?
214
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,260
Fuck it.
215
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:03,660
Arrgh!
216
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,900
Damn it! Yeah, it's a shame.
217
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,420
Honestly, I had to.
218
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,060
Once the idea was there,
you have to do it.
219
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,980
'What happened?
I was convinced I was going
to come across as like a genius.
220
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:18,100
Sadly, not to be.
221
00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:22,460
Yeah, I'm afraid he is disqualified
from the task. Ah!
222
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,140
Get in!
LAUGHTER
223
00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:29,820
Joe, you seem to feel guilty
about perving on an apple. Yeah.
224
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,580
And I would say,
despite the dithering,
225
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,900
he found all five pink ladies
and succeeded.
226
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:35,740
And later on he found the pattern
as well
227
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,300
but by then he'd succeeded
in completing the task.
228
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:42,940
Well, maybe he's my Hugh Grant-esque
strategy expert? Yes.
229
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,780
Hello. It is the end of part one.
230
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:50,660
Iain's off to a terrible start.
Can he claw it back from here?
231
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,660
Will anyone else find the green egg?
Find out in part two!
232
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:55,540
{\an1}CHEERING
233
00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,820
{\an4}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
234
00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:07,660
Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
235
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:10,180
I like what you've all done
with your hair.
236
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:12,380
Now, what was happening
before the break, Alex?
237
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:15,580
Well, that's one great question,
Greg. Spot on. Cheers, mate.
238
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:21,580
Well, the current task involves them
trying to find five pink lady apples
239
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:23,820
underneath nine bowls.
240
00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:26,180
But if they find the green egg,
it's game over.
241
00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:29,940
'Next it's Paul Sinha
and the pink lady herself,
Lou Sanders.
242
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,860
How many pink ladies are there?
Good question.
243
00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,500
Eight? OK. Are there?
244
00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:37,500
Huh! I can't tell you that. Right.
245
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:41,220
'One pink lady.
246
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,820
You see the temptation is
to stick at one.
247
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:45,540
The temptation is to assume
248
00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:47,580
that others will go hell for leather
249
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,940
trying to accumulate
as many pink ladies as possible
250
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:51,500
and eventually have the green egg.
251
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:56,500
I can't see that one.
Eight and nine is 72...
252
00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:58,220
Eight and nine and seven... 56.
253
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,100
What is a pink lady?
254
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,020
It is an apple.
255
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,500
A pink lady's an apple, Alex.
256
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,060
It's not a pink lady.
257
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:10,260
It's not a green egg.
This changes the odds.
258
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,980
That's an apple, babe.
259
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,780
'It's an apple!
260
00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:15,580
'That's another pink lady.
261
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:17,780
'There you go.
262
00:13:17,820 --> 00:13:19,860
{\an8}"Look at the cow."
263
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:25,900
336.
264
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:30,780
Nine times eight times seven is 336.
Over 504.
265
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:34,780
That's 65% chance of being right
three times in a row.
266
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,980
'And I'm sticking.
"There are five pink ladies."
267
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,500
'How many apples are there
altogether? Five.
268
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:45,900
How many more have you got to find?
Two. Good.
269
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,180
OK. Is there a formation?
270
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:55,340
Oh! This one, this one, this one.
271
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:56,740
Ten seconds.
272
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:58,580
'There's more, there's more.
273
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,780
'There's more indicators.
274
00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:04,020
WHISTLE BLOWS
Well, Lou, you found the pattern.
275
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,460
Well done, Lou. Four.
Not bad, actually.
276
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,380
Oh, there it is as well!
277
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,620
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Oh, yes.
278
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:20,260
Another incredible contrast, I think,
between two styles of approach.
279
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,300
Paul's, some master chess player,
280
00:14:22,340 --> 00:14:25,100
after the initial wild grab,
of course.
281
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:28,380
That's what I'm famous for.
Yeah. The old Sinha wild grab.
282
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:30,340
But then he started calculating odds.
283
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:33,900
Contrast that with Lou shouting,
"That's an apple, babe!"
284
00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:38,060
Paul didn't fail the test,
like Iain. He got two.
285
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,100
Lou did better than him, right? Yes.
She got twice as many apples.
286
00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:43,300
Running around like a child,
she got twice as many.
287
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:46,140
She also spotted the grid. Spotted
the grid - spotted it too late.
288
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,700
Yes, spotted it too late. Yeah.
Yup. Good.
289
00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:52,460
One left.
Yes, there is Sian Gibson left.
290
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,140
Ready? Yes.
291
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:57,180
Erm...
292
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,620
I'm just going to turn one over.
293
00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:03,300
'I found a pink lady!
294
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:06,940
'OK. So I'm just going to randomly
guess which are pink ladies?
295
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:09,180
Is that your method, is it? Yeah.
296
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:12,420
'Oh, my God! I'm good at this.
297
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:26,140
Oh - tangerine.
298
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:32,700
'I'm Derren Brown-ing it.
299
00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:37,180
Satsuma.
300
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,020
What's going on?
301
00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:45,220
I don't trust it.
302
00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:47,420
{\an1}AUDIENCE GROAN
303
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:49,460
That's... Oh, I've got
to open it now, haven't I?
304
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,420
That's the egg. You have touched it,
I'm afraid. That's the egg. Is it?
305
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,540
Yeah.
306
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:55,460
{\an1}AUDIENCE GROAN
307
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:56,700
Is that it? Game over?
308
00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:58,540
{\an1}APPLAUSE
309
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:05,980
'Did you think that the task was,
"Randomly guess
where some apples are?"
310
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:09,380
Do you know how much work
he has to put into these tasks?
311
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,780
If he came to me with that and said,
"This is called Random Apple Guess,"
312
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:14,740
I'd physically attack him. Again.
313
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:18,340
I once went to see a clairvoyant
and he said I had a gift.
314
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:19,620
{\an1}LOU GASPS
315
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,660
{\an1}LAUGHTER
316
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,780
And I really thought that I was
just channelling pink ladies.
317
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:28,140
Yeah. And you knew when you touched
the bowl that the egg was in...
318
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:33,260
I knew it was in. You knew it was
the egg. Ah! Nil points. Oh!
319
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:36,620
Paul gets three points,
Lou four points, Joe five points!
320
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,180
Hooray!
CHEERING
321
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,780
I think we'll get a little scoreboard
update, please.
322
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:44,620
OK, well, I'm afraid Sian has got
minimal points - two points so far.
323
00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:48,020
But Joe and Lou are in the lead
with nine points! Hooray!
324
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,660
Bring me another task, please.
I will bring you another task.
325
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,140
And you've guessed it -
I've been modelling again.
326
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,300
{\an1}LAUGHTER
327
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:00,660
{\an1}CROW CAWS
328
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:14,500
Hmm.
329
00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:15,980
Come in. Hi, Alex.
330
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:17,300
Who is it? It's Joe Thomas.
331
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:20,500
From The Inbetweeners?
Er, yeah.
332
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,740
How are you? Good. How are you?
333
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:25,580
Yeah. Yes.
334
00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:29,140
Littlehornes 2019 Catalogue.
That's me.
335
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:32,500
Sexy. Mm. Dream boy.
336
00:17:33,860 --> 00:17:36,420
"Choose an outfit
that the contestant
337
00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:39,180
"whose first name comes after yours
alphabetically must wear
338
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,580
"throughout a future task."
339
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:43,780
L-M. We're looking for an M.
340
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:46,380
It doesn't have to be directly after
yours in the alphabet.
341
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,980
So L, M, N, O, P.
Paul Sinha, for example.
342
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,940
Erm... Lou, no. Joe, no.
343
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:56,100
Iain, no. Well, it is Iain
because there's no-one after you.
344
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:58,660
Oh! You could have just said that.
I could have.
345
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,900
"You have two minutes
to make your choice."
346
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,620
"Your time starts now."
347
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:06,780
J. Yeah, there's a contestant
called Joe.
348
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:10,700
Oh, yeah! It's Lou, then.
Yeah, it's Lou Sanders. OK. Yeah.
349
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:12,620
Do you know who you're choosing for?
350
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:16,100
I believe
it's the lovely Sian Gibson.
351
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:19,300
Plenty of time. I like this because
he's not got a top on in that one.
352
00:18:19,340 --> 00:18:23,020
And you'd like to see Joe's chest?
I'd like to see his chest. OK.
353
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:27,220
So, boxer, Santa...
I think maybe the chef
354
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:29,620
but I specify
that she must wear the mitts.
355
00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:32,780
Does he have to have the hook on
at all times?
356
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,500
I'm not going to be sadistic
and make her struggle with the task
357
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,460
because she's wearing
a pirate's hook.
358
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,620
A sexy pirate. Or, no, a convict.
359
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:44,420
'Is they're anything
you're hoping to avoid
if the same thing happens to you?
360
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:48,100
The boxing gloves
and the pirate outfit.
361
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:49,700
And that's my final answer.
362
00:18:49,740 --> 00:18:51,140
Thank you.
363
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:53,220
{\an1}APPLAUSE
364
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:59,180
Lovely. So presumably they based
their choice of costume
365
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,860
on their knowledge of the person
they were picking for. Yes.
366
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:04,420
Paul said he wasn't going to be
sadistic, which was lovely.
367
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:06,980
I couldn't do it. Very nice.
That's really sweet. Thanks.
368
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,500
Whereas Iain said,
"I want to see his chest."
369
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:14,260
So were you attempting to hamper
Lou's progress with the mitts?
370
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,460
Well, a little bit, yeah.
I mean, I sort of...
371
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,500
What a nasty little snake.
372
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:20,780
I er... Yeah.
373
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:23,220
Can we have a look? We can see
what they're all wearing now.
374
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:25,180
This is how they turned out
for a future task.
375
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:40,220
Hello. How do you feel
about the outfit? I love it.
376
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,900
Arrr!
377
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:43,740
Me hearties. Lovely.
378
00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:47,380
Hello. Oh, there you are.
Yes, here I am.
379
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,700
Are you happy with the choice
they've made for you?
380
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:51,740
Erm... I wanted boxer.
381
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:55,620
Why did you want boxer? I think I'd
be better at hitting than cooking.
382
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,940
Hi, Joe. You all right?
383
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:04,260
Can I have a...? Yes. Yeah? Yeah.
384
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,380
Oh, hello, Paul.
Heston Blumenthal, actually.
385
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,820
I put the buckle on back to front.
Oh.
386
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,820
"I".
387
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:16,060
For Iain. For Iain - see?
388
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:19,660
IMITATES A DEEP SANTA VOICE
Have you been a good boy? Always.
389
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:21,500
You're on my nice list.
390
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,500
Can you open the task, please, Joe?
Mm-hm.
391
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:33,100
'"Correctly, wearing
your complete outfit, identify
the flavours of these clisps."
392
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,740
Is it worth you reading the word
"crisps" correctly?
393
00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:39,300
Crisps. What did I say?
I think you put an L in it.
394
00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:42,140
Clisps. Clisps. Clisps.
395
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:45,700
"Closest guesses wins.
You have ten minutes."
396
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,540
"And your time starts now."
397
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:54,580
So my big theory that I'd be allowed
to take the oven gloves off
398
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,820
is now in smithereens.
399
00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:01,100
Some reactions to your costumes.
400
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:02,780
For Iain - lovely.
401
00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:07,140
'Personalised it and you were
absolutely delighted to be dressed
as a lovely pirate, weren't you?
402
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:08,820
Oh, I was made up. Yeah.
403
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:14,660
Sian, I would definitely keep
my children away from that Santa.
404
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:17,020
Something about you with a deep voice
is not right at all.
405
00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:18,860
DEEP VOICE
Hello.
406
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,060
Northern Santa.
407
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,020
I'm Welsh.
You're more northern than me.
408
00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:24,940
Oh. Yeah.
409
00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:30,980
Joe, I find it fascinating that you
seemingly took absolutely no joy
410
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:35,100
in being dressed as a boxer.
No, I wasn't. But I did.
411
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:38,580
Your face just said,
"Yeah, yeah, so I'm a boxer.
412
00:21:38,620 --> 00:21:41,500
"Now I'm going to have to get
this open, clearly.
413
00:21:41,540 --> 00:21:43,980
"With these gloves." Yeah.
414
00:21:44,020 --> 00:21:48,980
'Right. We'll find out
how well they do identifying
the Taskmaster crisp flavours
415
00:21:49,020 --> 00:21:51,420
right after this invigorating
commercial break.
416
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:52,740
{\an1}CHEERING
417
00:21:58,380 --> 00:22:00,860
{\an4}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
418
00:22:02,580 --> 00:22:05,780
Hello! Hello and welcome back.
419
00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:08,980
To Taskmaster, fancy dress
and crisps. Am I right?
420
00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:14,220
{\an1}CHEERING
421
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:18,580
It's very wet now.
It's very wet now.
422
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,300
Here's... Here's Joe and Iain.
423
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:31,060
Oh!
424
00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:36,500
Can you eat them?
425
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:44,500
It tastes a bit like
sort of old potpourri.
426
00:22:44,540 --> 00:22:48,980
'Mm. Can you say purple?
As a flavour? Yeah, is that...?
427
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:51,980
Just because of the colour,
like, maybe beetroot. It's not that.
428
00:22:58,580 --> 00:22:59,860
'AUDIENCE GROAN
Huh?
429
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,260
'Fucking hell.
430
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:07,420
'Right. I don't know what that is.
431
00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:11,540
'Minty.
432
00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:14,580
{\an8}I'd honestly say that tastes like
toothpaste. I mean, I don't...
433
00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:21,060
'That tastes like charcoal.
434
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,500
'Burnt. Burnt? Burnt.
435
00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:24,580
'OK. So we've got purple, mint
and burnt.
436
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:31,620
'That tastes like burnt toast.
437
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:33,820
'Bread! Burnt bread.
438
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:40,060
{\an4}HE RETCHES
439
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:41,580
'That's burnt again.
440
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:42,700
'Is it not the...?
441
00:23:42,740 --> 00:23:44,900
'Oh, it's claggy.
442
00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:47,060
'Oh, wow!
443
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:48,700
Would you like a glass of water?
Yep.
444
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,340
Ugh! That's bad.
445
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,300
'Cocoa powder.
446
00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:05,580
'Like the husk, like the bit
of a peanut that you throw away.
447
00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:08,900
'Ha!
448
00:24:12,780 --> 00:24:15,500
'Just vinegar.
It's sort of fishy, though.
449
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:25,260
{\an8}That's sweet
but in a really weird way,
450
00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:27,580
{\an8}like, erm, I don't know.
451
00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:30,420
'Almost a... Almost a honey but...
452
00:24:30,460 --> 00:24:32,580
Fishy vinegar.
WHISTLE BLOWS
453
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,980
Iain.
454
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:42,140
Iain just seems totally at home
in that.
455
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:46,020
If he just turned up as standard
in that costume I'd just buy it.
456
00:24:46,060 --> 00:24:48,900
I don't like who I become
in that costume.
457
00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:52,620
You look more at home as a pirate
than our boxing friend does.
458
00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:55,460
I won't be winning many belts,
I don't think.
459
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:57,060
The pirate ate a lot of the crisps.
460
00:24:57,100 --> 00:25:00,020
He licked them all thoroughly,
for some reason. Of course.
461
00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:02,780
He couldn't wait to get them
in his mouth.
462
00:25:02,820 --> 00:25:05,660
He didn't do bad. He got, I'd say,
half a point for getting mint. Yeah.
463
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,020
Half a point for burnt bread.
So close.
464
00:25:08,060 --> 00:25:10,260
And half a point for cocoa powder.
OK.
465
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:13,300
I've only just thought about
that burnt bread thing now.
466
00:25:13,340 --> 00:25:16,580
That is toast, yeah.
That is... That is...
467
00:25:16,620 --> 00:25:18,420
That's just hit home. Wow!
468
00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:21,140
And Joe? Joe did, I would say,
slightly better.
469
00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:23,420
He got burnt toast exactly.
He got toothpaste.
470
00:25:23,460 --> 00:25:25,380
So it's two whole correct answers.
471
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:28,260
You want to see the other three?
Yes, please. Well, it's the triple C.
472
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:30,660
The chef, the chef
and the Christmas.
473
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:32,180
Here we go.
474
00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:40,460
Might take longer than ten minutes.
475
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:45,300
'Not something commercially
successful, I don't think.
476
00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:48,060
'These aren't from the shop.
477
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:49,620
'Tastes like potpourri.
478
00:25:57,340 --> 00:26:00,100
'That tastes of something I know.
479
00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:01,340
'Spearmint.
480
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:03,140
'Toothpaste?
481
00:26:03,180 --> 00:26:04,660
'It's not sweet and it's not savoury.
482
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:06,940
'You could use it in Asian cooking.
483
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:12,540
'Whoo! That's blue.
484
00:26:12,580 --> 00:26:15,580
'Blueberry beef.
Sorry - blueberry beef? Mm.
485
00:26:15,620 --> 00:26:19,620
'Actually, can I put blue seaweed?
I might get a point for blue.
486
00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:21,060
'Ugh! They are vile!
487
00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,180
{\an8}That's the flavour of burnt.
488
00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:25,780
{\an8}Cigarette ash?
489
00:26:25,820 --> 00:26:29,700
{\an8}I can't eat that.
That absolutely stinks
490
00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:32,100
{\an8}of, like, a manky house.
491
00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:34,380
{\an8}Oh, God, they're just getting
worse and worse.
492
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:36,220
I think we'll leave it there.
493
00:26:36,260 --> 00:26:39,380
'Soap, toothpaste, no idea,
494
00:26:39,420 --> 00:26:42,380
'cigarette ash and no idea.
495
00:26:42,420 --> 00:26:46,140
WHISTLE BLOWS
I'll see you on Christmas Eve.
496
00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:48,180
Bye-bye. Goodbye. Thank you.
497
00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,060
Whose manky house were you thinking
of? Anyone in particular?
498
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:55,420
Paul's. Paul's?
499
00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:58,980
No, it's not Paul's. It's all the
curry that I cook with toothpaste.
500
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:04,300
We'll be able to work out
which crisps you tried, Paul,
501
00:27:04,340 --> 00:27:06,740
because most of them
were round your face afterwards.
502
00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:08,580
He got one point for toothpaste.
Yeah.
503
00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:11,260
Sian got spearmint. I'll give her
half a point for that.
504
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:13,340
Yeah. That feels right, doesn't it?
Yeah.
505
00:27:13,380 --> 00:27:15,620
Maybe half for Lou
for "taste of burnt"?
506
00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:20,660
Taste of burnt? Sadly, no bonus point
for just saying the colour blue. Mm.
507
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:23,260
It wasn't saying
what colour things are. No.
508
00:27:23,300 --> 00:27:27,020
'Good. Let's award some points.
Sian and Lou get two points
in joint fourth. Yes, please.
509
00:27:27,060 --> 00:27:28,540
Three points to Paul, four to Iain
510
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:31,900
but the best taste buds were
with Joe - five points. Hooray!
511
00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:35,860
Yes!
512
00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:40,020
Another one? Why not? OK, I'm just
going to press this with this.
513
00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:41,420
{\an1}HE GASPS
514
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:54,580
Hello. Oh, hello.
515
00:27:54,620 --> 00:27:56,780
Funny thing, isn't it?
516
00:27:58,620 --> 00:28:01,740
Oh. Oh! Silly me.
517
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:05,220
Oh, my God.
518
00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:07,380
Oh.
519
00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:09,340
Oh. Sorry about that.
520
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:15,260
"Do the most powerful thing
with your little finger."
521
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:19,340
"Most powerful thing done
with your little finger wins."
522
00:28:19,380 --> 00:28:24,580
"You have 30 minutes.
Your time starts now."
523
00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:28,180
"Do the most powerful thing
with your little finger."
524
00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:30,540
OK. What's powerful?
525
00:28:30,580 --> 00:28:32,540
Dance.
526
00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:35,500
I kind of want some electricity
out of it.
527
00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:40,460
Creating life.
I could take some sperm...
528
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,980
Are you going to finish
that sentence?
529
00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:53,460
I'm just going to open the door
with my little finger. Wow.
530
00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:55,500
Does that count?
531
00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:57,220
No. OK.
532
00:28:58,700 --> 00:28:59,980
{\an1}APPLAUSE
533
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:07,220
I thought no-one was ever going to
beat Josh Widdicombe from series one
534
00:29:07,260 --> 00:29:10,900
for commitment to this show by having
my name tattooed on his foot.
535
00:29:10,940 --> 00:29:13,180
And yet... If you were
to impregnate yourself...
536
00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:18,340
Good. I think... I think we should
really quickly see some stuff.
537
00:29:18,380 --> 00:29:23,140
OK, for the first two we've clumped
together are Iain and Paul
538
00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:26,260
and I say clumped
and I mean clumped. Here we go.
539
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:30,300
I've got an idea. Oh, yeah?
I could donate to a charity.
540
00:29:30,340 --> 00:29:32,580
Oh, yeah? Pretty powerful.
541
00:29:32,620 --> 00:29:35,300
Changes lives.
542
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:39,940
'The most powerful thing I could do
with my little finger is
just confirm a financial deal.
543
00:29:39,980 --> 00:29:43,700
I've got a relatively new computer.
Congratulations.
544
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:47,420
'I'm thinking about
maybe doing something online
that's symbolically powerful
545
00:29:47,460 --> 00:29:49,100
or could do a lot of good.
546
00:29:49,140 --> 00:29:51,300
This is going to be pretty powerful.
547
00:29:51,340 --> 00:29:53,540
I donate to Mind quite a lot.
548
00:29:53,580 --> 00:29:57,140
Mind's a good charity.
What do Mind do?
549
00:29:57,180 --> 00:29:59,460
It's for better mental health. Oh!
550
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:02,700
I think I've found a really worthy
cause, which is Oli and Henna.
551
00:30:02,740 --> 00:30:04,900
Oli and Henna want to go
on honeymoon.
552
00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:07,740
You can't get a better cause
than that - the path of true love.
553
00:30:07,780 --> 00:30:09,780
This is what they've said.
554
00:30:09,820 --> 00:30:12,780
"America holds many special memories
for us from our holidays past."
555
00:30:12,820 --> 00:30:15,540
So they've been before. "We're
hoping to travel from Los Angeles
556
00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:16,740
"to San Francisco,
557
00:30:16,780 --> 00:30:19,220
"walk on the Hollywood stars..."
Bit dull.
558
00:30:19,260 --> 00:30:21,380
Sorry - do you know Oli and Henna?
No. I literally...
559
00:30:23,220 --> 00:30:26,540
All I know about them is
what I can see on the screen here.
560
00:30:26,580 --> 00:30:28,700
Will you be anonymous
or will they know it was you?
561
00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:30,860
Oh, no - they'll know it was me.
562
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:34,940
I'm not going to donate to a cause
and have them not know it was me.
563
00:30:34,980 --> 00:30:36,820
That's absolutely outrageous.
564
00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:39,060
"Is this the first time
you've donated to Mind?"
565
00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:40,460
No.
566
00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:44,300
'And also, this is coming out
of my current account,
not my business account,
567
00:30:44,340 --> 00:30:48,420
even though charitable donations are
tax deductible.
568
00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:50,460
Well, that makes it
even more powerful.
569
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,620
{\an1}HE LAUGHS
570
00:30:52,660 --> 00:30:58,540
Only I, right, only I can donate
to charity and make it look dickish.
571
00:30:58,580 --> 00:31:00,820
Here goes, Oli and Henna.
572
00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:04,940
Are you going to reveal to us
how much you're donating?
573
00:31:04,980 --> 00:31:07,700
Yes. It's 100 British pounds.
574
00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:11,620
You know what I'll do?
A monthly donation.
575
00:31:11,660 --> 00:31:13,260
A monthly donation of how much?
576
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:16,540
Erm, let's say £8.
577
00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:20,220
£8. A monthly donation.
Plus Gift Aid.
578
00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:22,500
Finish.
579
00:31:22,540 --> 00:31:24,380
PHONE TINGS
It's been accepted.
580
00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:26,580
And if that's not powerful enough,
581
00:31:26,620 --> 00:31:29,260
I'm going to karate chop
a bit of shortbread.
582
00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:30,860
Ha-jah!
583
00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:32,820
APPLAUSE
Thank you, Iain.
584
00:31:37,580 --> 00:31:41,700
I've got to refer to the relevance
of how new your computer is.
585
00:31:43,180 --> 00:31:46,900
'No, I just trusted it
to do the transaction
within 30 minutes, that's all.
586
00:31:46,940 --> 00:31:48,540
Because it was relatively new? Mm.
587
00:31:48,580 --> 00:31:52,900
'Cos we all know
that confirming a financial deal is
the most powerful thing.
588
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:55,620
I mean, Iain's is
a very worthy thing to do. Yeah.
589
00:31:55,660 --> 00:31:58,220
Is £8 a month powerful?
590
00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:01,020
Still every month I get
a little "ping".
591
00:32:01,060 --> 00:32:04,260
So we presume you're going to live
for the next 50 years. Is that right?
592
00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:07,980
Scottish - 30.
LAUGHTER
593
00:32:08,020 --> 00:32:10,180
We're probably looking
at about three grand.
594
00:32:10,220 --> 00:32:12,980
Powerful? Three grand to charity?
595
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:15,460
I could donate to a charity,
like Iain did,
596
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:18,420
and it would be a mere drop
in the ocean
597
00:32:18,460 --> 00:32:20,580
or I could make some actual,
positive influence.
598
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:22,700
I thought if they go to
the West Coast of America,
599
00:32:22,740 --> 00:32:26,180
my donation could give them a good
night out in a top steak restaurant.
600
00:32:26,220 --> 00:32:28,300
Well, of course!
A top steak restaurant!
601
00:32:28,340 --> 00:32:33,420
Of course you could buy them a lovely
night out in a top steak restaurant
602
00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:35,860
but why are we paying
for their honeymoon?
603
00:32:35,900 --> 00:32:40,300
There's no we about it - it's me.
I tell you who it is.
604
00:32:40,340 --> 00:32:42,820
According to his quote,
"I'm the Sinnerman from The Chase
605
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,900
"and I'm a legend when it comes
to inexplicable generosity."
606
00:32:45,940 --> 00:32:47,980
LAUGHTER
That's what he wrote.
607
00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:55,180
Who's next? Next to prove
her pinkie power, it's Lou.
608
00:32:59,420 --> 00:33:00,660
And that's me ready to go.
609
00:33:04,340 --> 00:33:06,300
OK, this is a powerful piece
of theatre
610
00:33:06,340 --> 00:33:07,740
and it's called Sea Change.
611
00:33:31,420 --> 00:33:36,140
And that's the thing with pollution.
You have to expect the unexpected.
612
00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:37,900
{\an1}APPLAUSE
613
00:33:40,860 --> 00:33:42,540
I reckon...
SIAN LAUGHS
614
00:33:43,740 --> 00:33:46,860
The intention was really good.
Really good. It was very noble.
615
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:48,740
Mm. Yeah.
616
00:33:48,780 --> 00:33:51,060
If... Without explanation,
if you saw...
617
00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:53,940
If you just saw
the final finished performance,
618
00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:56,380
I'm not sure how powerful a statement
it is.
619
00:33:56,420 --> 00:33:59,940
It's theatre. Do you go
to the theatre? Yeah, yeah.
620
00:33:59,980 --> 00:34:01,940
But if I paid to go to the theatre
621
00:34:01,980 --> 00:34:06,740
and I saw a woman push a brick off
a barrel into a bowl full of ducks...
622
00:34:06,780 --> 00:34:09,500
And babies, and babies. And babies.
623
00:34:09,540 --> 00:34:13,020
I'm not sure perhaps I'd have picked
up on your powerful message.
624
00:34:13,060 --> 00:34:14,740
It was very creative.
625
00:34:14,780 --> 00:34:17,140
Uh-oh. Break time.
Good luck. Bye-bye.
626
00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:19,060
{\an1}CHEERING
627
00:34:24,740 --> 00:34:26,820
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
628
00:34:30,020 --> 00:34:33,260
Hello. Welcome back
to the last part of today's show.
629
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:36,660
Yes, welcome back to Taskmaster,
where today's secret colour is pink.
630
00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,780
We've had pink ladies, pink crisps
and pinkies.
631
00:34:38,820 --> 00:34:41,580
Well done if you spotted that.
It was definitely deliberate.
632
00:34:41,620 --> 00:34:44,580
Next to power up his pinkie
it's Joe Thomas,
633
00:34:44,620 --> 00:34:46,780
which is also a euphemism
for a pinkie.
634
00:35:09,420 --> 00:35:10,940
{\an1}APPLAUSE
635
00:35:14,740 --> 00:35:17,780
Now, that is how
to get an issue across.
636
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:21,940
I mean, that was more powerful
than bricks on the ducks.
637
00:35:21,980 --> 00:35:24,380
Pleased with that?
You've got to be pleased with that.
638
00:35:24,420 --> 00:35:26,420
You've got to be pleased with that.
Yeah.
639
00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:28,860
And your walk away was...
640
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:32,100
quite the sashay.
641
00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:35,100
It was a striking message,
wasn't it?
642
00:35:35,140 --> 00:35:36,420
Oh, boy.
GROANING
643
00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:40,380
Oh, that's... He was doing well.
Oh, dear, oh, dear. That's a shame.
644
00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:42,340
Erm... That is a shame.
645
00:35:42,380 --> 00:35:44,060
Let's have a look at Sian's. OK, yes.
646
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:48,700
It's the person with the smallest
pinkie here, Sian Gibson.
647
00:35:48,740 --> 00:35:51,700
Got your little fingers?
648
00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:53,740
Ready? I'm ready.
649
00:35:53,780 --> 00:35:54,820
OK.
650
00:35:56,660 --> 00:35:58,580
This is Trevor.
651
00:35:58,620 --> 00:36:00,460
Hmm.
652
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,300
OK. Shhh.
653
00:36:12,540 --> 00:36:13,980
{\an1}LAUGHTER
654
00:36:15,620 --> 00:36:17,420
Wow. That's powerful.
655
00:36:17,460 --> 00:36:18,940
Changed colour, as well.
656
00:36:18,980 --> 00:36:21,140
It's the heat.
657
00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:23,860
OK, my friend? Are you going stay
with Uncle Alex?
658
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:26,500
Yes, you are.
OK, well, thank you, Sian.
659
00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:28,500
And don't touch him for a while.
660
00:36:28,540 --> 00:36:31,420
Still hot? Still hot.
661
00:36:31,460 --> 00:36:32,740
Bye.
662
00:36:42,180 --> 00:36:45,460
Taking on all the big issues, aren't
we... Oh, we are. ..in this round?
663
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:47,060
Creating life. Yeah.
664
00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:49,820
But I'm surprised you chose
a guinea pig,
665
00:36:49,860 --> 00:36:51,780
given that the word was "powerful".
666
00:36:51,820 --> 00:36:54,220
I thought you'd go for
a more powerful animal, no?
667
00:36:54,260 --> 00:36:56,580
What's more powerful
than a guinea pig?
668
00:36:56,620 --> 00:37:00,060
I mean, a dog? Yes. A horse?
Horse. Horse.
669
00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:02,660
I couldn't fit it in that tray.
670
00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:06,300
Yeah, it was tray first.
Oh! Tray first, idea next.
671
00:37:06,340 --> 00:37:08,620
That's it, yeah.
Classic Gibson.
672
00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:11,300
Ready? Who are you giving points to?
673
00:37:11,340 --> 00:37:13,740
I'm giving two points to Lou.
Shut up!
674
00:37:13,780 --> 00:37:16,060
Yeah, you shut up.
You shut up.
675
00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:18,220
Honestly, that's a mistake. OK.
676
00:37:18,260 --> 00:37:20,660
Let's go with it, though.
677
00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,380
{\an1}LAUGHTER
678
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:25,420
Iain, it's a worthy thing he did.
Yes.
679
00:37:25,460 --> 00:37:28,860
'Even if he was a bit mean,
so I'm going to give him
three points. Three to Iain.
680
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,980
And I'm going to give Paul
three points.
681
00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:35,140
'You're full of horse shit.
Sorry, sorry. Lou's just saying
you're full of horse shit. OK.
682
00:37:35,180 --> 00:37:38,140
If she says one more thing I'm going
to take a point off her. Oh!
683
00:37:38,180 --> 00:37:41,060
Oh, God. The guinea pig,
the guinea pig.
684
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:44,260
RSPCA. I don't know
if it's shit or good.
685
00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:46,220
I don't know if it's shit or good.
686
00:37:47,420 --> 00:37:50,100
Did you think it was powerful?
687
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:51,740
No.
688
00:37:51,780 --> 00:37:53,820
No, I didn't.
689
00:37:53,860 --> 00:37:55,260
I'm going to give it two points.
690
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:56,580
SHE SQUEAKS
What?!
691
00:37:56,620 --> 00:38:00,740
Yeah. Ooh! I know.
I just felt it deep in my gut.
692
00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:03,700
Bad, innit? Tell you what, though.
Joe's was amazing.
693
00:38:03,740 --> 00:38:06,020
I'm giving him five points
and that's an end to it all.
694
00:38:06,060 --> 00:38:08,540
Joe gets five points.
I'm not clapping that.
695
00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:10,660
I'm not clapping.
696
00:38:10,700 --> 00:38:13,580
Greg, would you like to hear how
that's affected the series scores?
697
00:38:13,620 --> 00:38:16,700
Please. OK, well,
Paul has got to 87 points.
698
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:19,020
CHEERING
Yes! Oh!
699
00:38:19,060 --> 00:38:21,860
Everyone else now in triple figures.
700
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:24,620
Sian and Iain, joint on 101.
701
00:38:24,660 --> 00:38:26,020
Joe on 110.
702
00:38:26,060 --> 00:38:28,420
Lou on 120 - ten points ahead.
703
00:38:28,460 --> 00:38:29,980
{\an1}CHEERING
704
00:38:31,740 --> 00:38:35,060
OK. Then can you please all
make your way to the stage
705
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:36,460
for the final task of the show!
706
00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:47,260
Hi. Hi. Hi.
707
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:50,140
Who's going to read it out, then?
Joe Thomas is going to read it out.
708
00:38:50,180 --> 00:38:51,780
Do not release the green egg.
709
00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:53,780
Each team will be asked a question
in turn.
710
00:38:53,820 --> 00:38:56,780
If you pull the string
with the correct answer
711
00:38:56,820 --> 00:38:58,540
you will not release the green egg.
712
00:38:58,580 --> 00:39:01,020
A different member of your team
must answer each time.
713
00:39:01,060 --> 00:39:03,180
You must pull a string
within 30 seconds.
714
00:39:03,220 --> 00:39:05,740
The team that doesn't release
the green egg wins.
715
00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:10,380
'Do you just want to clarify that?
If you get the question right,
you won't release the green egg.
716
00:39:10,420 --> 00:39:13,100
That's all I can tell you. First
question for the team of three.
717
00:39:13,140 --> 00:39:18,380
How many G's are there
in the Taskmaster's full name?
718
00:39:18,420 --> 00:39:23,420
Have you got a middle name, babe?
What is it? Daniel. Two, two.
719
00:39:23,460 --> 00:39:25,100
Yes, go. That's correct. OK.
720
00:39:25,140 --> 00:39:28,180
From now on can I ask you
to pull it slightly more gently?
721
00:39:28,220 --> 00:39:29,780
{\an1}LAUGHTER
722
00:39:31,180 --> 00:39:36,140
Citizens On Patrol is
which number Police Academy film?
723
00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:37,780
It's not 1, it's not 2.
724
00:39:37,820 --> 00:39:41,660
Citizens... It's a... I reckon,
let's go... Please pull a number.
725
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,900
Let's go for five.
Hurry up, Joe. OK.
726
00:39:45,180 --> 00:39:47,180
Green!
Ooh!
727
00:39:47,220 --> 00:39:51,700
How many points
did Shirley Bassey's pop socks get
728
00:39:51,740 --> 00:39:54,460
in episode two of this series?
729
00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:56,780
Was it five?
It was five but five's gone.
730
00:39:56,820 --> 00:39:59,540
Five's gone.
Can we go for five again?
731
00:39:59,580 --> 00:40:01,780
No, you must pull a new number
each time.
732
00:40:01,820 --> 00:40:04,780
Go for four. Or three? Or three?
Go for four. Are you sure?
733
00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:08,500
{\an1}LAUGHTER
734
00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:14,980
What is 100 minus 19 divided by 27?
735
00:40:15,020 --> 00:40:17,460
Three. The answer's three.
Is it? Yeah.
736
00:40:22,500 --> 00:40:24,100
Oh, it's a pink lady.
737
00:40:24,140 --> 00:40:28,420
How many months of the year
have more than eight letters?
738
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:34,860
One - September. Is it?
I think it's more likely to be...
739
00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:36,300
{\an1}CHEERING
740
00:40:39,220 --> 00:40:41,100
Right. A bit tenuous, this.
741
00:40:41,140 --> 00:40:44,460
What's left behind
after a vomit party?
742
00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:48,100
Oh, it's sick. Lots of "sicks".
Yes, it's six. Six.
743
00:40:48,140 --> 00:40:50,300
It's you, it's you. OK, right.
744
00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:55,380
{\an1}CHEERING
745
00:40:59,580 --> 00:41:02,980
Droopy drawers minus triple dozen.
746
00:41:03,020 --> 00:41:05,500
Droopy drawers. 44.
747
00:41:05,540 --> 00:41:07,220
The answer's eight. Minus 11?
748
00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:11,660
Minus 36. It's eight.
Oh - eight.
749
00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:12,700
He-shah!
750
00:41:12,740 --> 00:41:15,740
{\an1}CHEERING
751
00:41:15,780 --> 00:41:19,940
Just a little pull.
Santa's German helper.
752
00:41:19,980 --> 00:41:22,620
It's 11. German for 11 is elf.
753
00:41:22,660 --> 00:41:24,260
OK. I trust you.
754
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:25,380
LOU: Clever boy.
755
00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:27,460
{\an1}CHEERING
756
00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:32,860
Whoo! How many S's are in
the following phrase?
757
00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:36,180
"Assessing the assassin wasn't easy."
758
00:41:36,220 --> 00:41:42,500
Six. "Assessing the assassin
wasn't easy."
759
00:41:42,540 --> 00:41:44,180
Six. Six has already been opened.
760
00:41:46,940 --> 00:41:50,260
Oh. One - one.
One has already been opened.
761
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:52,260
Seven, nine or 10.
762
00:41:52,300 --> 00:41:54,980
One? Which one, which one?
Seven, nine or 10.
763
00:41:55,020 --> 00:41:57,460
Use the crystals, use the angels.
764
00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:04,540
Nothing there, nothing there.
There's nothing there.
765
00:42:04,580 --> 00:42:06,900
{\an1}GROANING
766
00:42:06,940 --> 00:42:08,460
{\an1}APPLAUSE
767
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:15,020
Lou just did a bit of theatre
about the environment.
768
00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:19,620
Come down and we'll add those
to the final scores.
769
00:42:19,660 --> 00:42:21,620
{\an1}CHEERING
770
00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:32,300
All good? Absolutely.
What a game of Release The Egg
771
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:35,540
or Don't Release The Egg,
as it is called.
772
00:42:35,580 --> 00:42:38,020
Team Sian and Joe
got the five points
773
00:42:38,060 --> 00:42:41,380
and the leader board -
with an incredible score of 24,
774
00:42:41,420 --> 00:42:43,140
one point off full marks,
775
00:42:43,180 --> 00:42:45,100
Joe Thomas is the winner.
776
00:42:45,140 --> 00:42:47,460
Wow!
CHEERING
777
00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:50,580
Look at that. Joe's first victory.
778
00:42:50,620 --> 00:42:54,540
Joe wins. Please go and celebrate
with your slippery thing.
779
00:42:54,580 --> 00:42:57,140
{\an1}CHEERING
780
00:42:58,540 --> 00:43:03,660
'So, what have we learnt today?
We've learnt that once Joe Thomas
has made a powerful statement,
781
00:43:03,700 --> 00:43:06,060
he knows exactly how to make an exit.
782
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:09,340
And he also knows how to win a show.
783
00:43:09,380 --> 00:43:12,540
Congratulations once again
to tonight's champion, Joe Thomas!
784
00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:13,820
{\an1}CHEERING
785
00:43:13,860 --> 00:43:17,100
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you again and goodnight.
786
00:43:17,140 --> 00:43:25,100
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
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