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This Saturday, POX presents the
musical event of the new millennium!
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You all remember playing the
recorder in elementary school?
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00:00:38,710 --> 00:00:40,975
Well this Saturday,
in Oklahoma City,
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00:00:41,010 --> 00:00:43,250
over four million third-grade
students from all over the country
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00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,497
will gather in one place
and, at the same time,
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00:00:45,498 --> 00:00:48,198
play "My Country 'Tis Of
Thee" on their recorders!
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00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,800
It's the largest third-grade
recorder concert ever!
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00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:52,570
Special guest conductor, Yoko Ono,
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00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:55,965
and woodwind virtuoso, Kenny G,
will lead this fantastic event!
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00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,690
This Saturday at eleven
eastern, ten central!
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00:00:58,730 --> 00:00:59,810
THE WORLD WILL BE WATCHING!
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00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:03,851
Okay, children! We still got
some time to practice the song
13
00:01:03,852 --> 00:01:06,170
before we load up the bus
and head out for Oklahoma!
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00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:10,376
Now, come on! There's gonna be over
4 million third-graders from all over
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00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:13,850
the country there, and I wanna make
sure that South Park is the best! Okay?
16
00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:15,170
Recorders up!
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00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:18,690
And a one, and a two, and a...
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00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,690
"of Liberty,"! You're late!
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00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:28,170
"my fathers"...
What the hell was that?
20
00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:31,970
Goddammit! I don't think you children
have been working on your fingering!
21
00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:33,277
That's not true, Mr. Garrison!
22
00:01:33,278 --> 00:01:35,678
Kyle was working on his fingering
with his mom all night long!
23
00:01:35,690 --> 00:01:36,610
Shut up, fatass!
24
00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:37,890
No, seriously!
25
00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:40,010
Kyle's mom says Kyle getting
really good at fingering! He, he!
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00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:44,610
Shut up, Eric! There's gonna be four
million children playing this song
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00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:47,575
at the same time on their recorders,
and so help me God, South Park
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Elementary is not gonna be the only ones
that don't know the song! Try again!
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00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:52,650
Recorders up!
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And a one, and a two, and a...
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00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:02,210
M'kay! That sounded great, kids!
32
00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:05,210
Sure, if you like the sound of a
peacock getting its neck broken!
33
00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:07,210
M'kay! Kids, uh, we have some news!
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00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:09,850
Uh, there's been terrible
flood in Oklahoma, m'kay,
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00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:14,130
so the four million recorder children's
event is being moved to Arkansas!
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00:02:16,330 --> 00:02:17,410
Arkansas?!
37
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,650
What's a Arkansas?!
Is that a state?
38
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:21,650
The trip shouldn't take any longer,
but I'll hand out these updated
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00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:24,770
contact sheets so that your parents
will know where you are, m'kay!
40
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,450
Mr. Mackey, can I talk
to you for a second?!
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00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:31,930
Mr. Mackey, uh, I can't go to Arkansas!
Somebody's gonna have to fill in for me!
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00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:35,330
What?! We can't find anybody to fill in
for you! Why can't you go to Arkansas?
43
00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,410
Arkansas is where I grew up!
44
00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:41,210
My parents live there!
My father still lives there!
45
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,650
Well, don't you wanna see him?
46
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:45,770
I haven't seen my
father for 23 years!
47
00:02:45,970 --> 00:02:48,610
Uh, perhaps you should sit
down, Mr. Garrison, m'kay!
48
00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:53,750
Mr. Garrison, I know this is very
difficult, m'kay, but I must ask!
49
00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:56,930
Is there a history of sexual
abuse in your family?!
50
00:02:58,570 --> 00:03:03,410
Some! Yes! There was my Uncle
Richard! He... he molested me!
51
00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:06,730
- When was that? - Saturday!
Last... last Saturday!
52
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:10,650
- He's a parapolegic, but it didn't...
- M'kay, uh, and your father,
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00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,450
he molested you
when you were a boy?
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00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:19,530
Mr. Garrison, I think when we get to
Arkansas, you need to see your father!
55
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:23,050
You need to face this
demon in your closet, m'kay!
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00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:24,950
Don't look at me!
57
00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:28,710
I'll go on your bastard trip
and just don't look at me!
58
00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:31,250
That is pretty cool!
59
00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:42,690
Okay! How 'bout this one, Kenny?
60
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,050
No? How 'bout this?
61
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,290
Interesting!
Let's see! How 'bout this!
62
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,850
- Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
- We're trying to find the Brown Noise!
63
00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:55,330
It's this one pitch, this certain frequency,
that makes people loose bowel control!
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00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:56,690
What's "loose bowel control"?
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00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:58,730
That's the scientific term
for crapping your pants!
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00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:00,170
H'oh, brother!
Here we go again!
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00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:03,650
Cartman, there is not a sound frequency
that makes people crap their pants!
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00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:06,530
Yes there is! The French experimented
with it in World War II!
69
00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:09,290
How 'bout this one, Kenny?
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00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,970
There is no Brown Noise, fat boy!
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00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:13,422
That's nice! When I find it,
I'll just make you crap yourself
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00:04:13,430 --> 00:04:15,650
so you look like Karen Carpenter!
- Who's Karen Carpenter?
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00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:23,970
- Mr. Garrison, are you alright?
- Mr. Garrison isn't here right now!
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00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:26,650
M'kay, Mr. Garrison,
you're just having a hard time
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00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,890
dealing with the memories
of your father's sexual abuse,
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00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:31,570
so you switch
personalities to Mr. Hat! M'kay!?
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00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:34,450
Good one, Sherlock!
You figure that all by yourself?
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00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:38,610
M'kay, I think the best thing for Mr.
Garrison to do is to go see his father!
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00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:41,730
NO! NO, YOU MORON! MR. GARRISON
CAN'T LET THE MEMORIES IN!
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00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,090
JUST LEAVE US ALONE!
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00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,530
M'KAY, MR. HAT, YOU NEED TO LET
ME TALK TO MR. GARRISON! M'kay!?
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00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,502
WHY WOULD HE WANNA
TALK TO A SECOND RATE,
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00:04:48,503 --> 00:04:50,503
DOPEY ASSED, ELEMENTARY
SCHOOL PSYCOLOGIST?!
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00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:51,690
WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
85
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:52,956
YOU HEARD ME, JACKASS!
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00:04:52,957 --> 00:04:55,057
THERE'S MONKEYS THAT MAKE
BETTER COUNCILORS THAN YOU!
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00:04:55,130 --> 00:04:57,090
WHY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
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00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:00,930
hoa! Mr. Mackey and
Mr. Hat are fighting!
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00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:03,570
I'M GONNA KICK
YOU ASS! M'KAY!?
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00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:09,730
BE QUIET BACK THERE!!!
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00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:15,970
You may have won
this time Mr. Hat!
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00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:28,010
M'kay! I want everyone to stay
together! M'kay?! Nobody move!
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00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:29,410
- School?!
- Excuse me?!
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00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:33,130
- What school are you from?
- We're from South Park, Colorado!
95
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:36,770
Alright! South Park school, you go over
there next to the kids from New York!
96
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,050
No, no! Don't put the
Florida kids in the building!
97
00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:44,130
Hey! Lookit the freakin'
eskimos in their little hensingalovs!
98
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,502
Whoa! Lookit this kid's coat!
Hey, kid, what'sa matter?!
99
00:05:48,503 --> 00:05:51,403
You a freakin' burn
victim or something?! What?
100
00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,290
Who the hell are these guys?!
101
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:55,930
I didn't know they was invitin'
rednecks to this event!
102
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:58,370
- We're not rednecks!
- Yeah! That's Texans, butthole!
103
00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:01,170
Oh yeah?! Well, you look
like a bunch of queefs to me!
104
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,450
Y'guys, what's a queef?!
105
00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:07,030
Kenny?
- I don't know!
106
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:09,530
Oh, brother! You guys don't
even know what a queef is?
107
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,650
Of course we know what
a queef is, you queef!
108
00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,250
Oh yeah?!
Well, what is it then?!
109
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:14,850
Why?! Don't you know?!
110
00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:17,330
Are all rednecks queefs from
Colorado as stupid as yous?!
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00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:18,610
ALRIGHT, DICKHOLE!
112
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:20,610
I need everyone's attention please!
113
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:24,570
We will now all be moving in
orderly fasion to our fine hotels!
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00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,530
Please follow your
group leaders to check in!
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00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:29,690
We'll se ya later, queefs!
116
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:35,650
I can't find the word
"queef" anywhere!
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00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:36,777
Well, keep looking!
118
00:06:36,778 --> 00:06:38,878
We gotta find out what it means before
we see those New Yorker kids again!
119
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,050
Well, let's try the dictionary!
120
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:42,410
Queasy! Quebec!
Queen! Quelch! No queef!
121
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,530
- Dammit! - Hey!
I found it, y'guys! I found it!
122
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,050
You did?! What's it
mean?! What's it mean?!
123
00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:49,490
I told y'guys! Here it is,
right here! The Brown Noise!
124
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:50,440
Dammit, Cartman!
125
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:53,130
An ausilation of sound that
causes the bowels to loosen!
126
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:54,690
See?! That
means crap your pants!
127
00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:59,370
The Brown Noise is believed to be 92
cents below the lowest octave of E flat!
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00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:00,730
- Wha'does that mean?
- Who cares?! C'mon!
129
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:03,570
We have to find out what
"queef" means! Keep reading!
130
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:10,610
I can do this! I have to do this!
131
00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:16,250
Hello, dad!
132
00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:19,490
- Oh hello, son!
- Can I come in?
133
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,170
Uh, sure! Of couse.
134
00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:24,530
Your mom's out at bridge night!
You want a beer or something?
135
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:27,370
No! I don't think that will
solve any of our problems,
136
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,970
though you seemed
to think it did! - W'what?!
137
00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:32,690
I have a lot of demons that
I need to face, father!
138
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:34,330
I need to know some things!
139
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:35,610
Well, okay! Like what?!
140
00:07:35,730 --> 00:07:38,290
Alright, alright!
Let's just cut right to it!
141
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:42,510
I've come to ask you about
the sexual abuse, dad!
142
00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:46,210
I have to know why! Right here and
now! We're gonna talk about this!
143
00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:49,450
What the hell are you talking about?
I never sexually abused you!
144
00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:51,770
I know! I wanna know why not!
145
00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:54,570
- Was it that I was ugly?
- Oh, my God!
146
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:57,650
I wasn't good enough for you!
Was that it, dad?! - Well... NO!
147
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,250
Sure! You could go off and screw
any whore on Ryland Street,
148
00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:03,370
but when it came to your own
son, you were just too busy!
149
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,250
Alright, everyone! Quiet please!
150
00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:13,410
There are over
four million of you,
151
00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:16,010
so we must have quiet!
152
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:19,930
t this time, I would like to introduce the
woman who is making this all possible,
153
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:22,370
Yoko Ono!
154
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:34,910
You heard her! We'll start the
rehearsal in a few minutes!
155
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,987
Those New Yorker kids are
gonna be here any second!
156
00:08:36,988 --> 00:08:38,388
We still don't know
what "queef" means!
157
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:40,050
Well, we can still pretend
like we know what it means!
158
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:41,410
No! They'll catch on!
159
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:43,090
Hey! Wait a minute!
I've got a great idea!
160
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:46,124
Let's make up our own word! We can
make up a word and then use it,
161
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,970
and then, they'll act like they
know it, and we'll bust'em!
162
00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:49,770
Yeah! That'll make 'em look stupid!
163
00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:52,610
- What word could we make up?!
- How 'bout "Finkleroy"?!
164
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:53,930
No, no! Not "Finkleroy"!
165
00:08:54,090 --> 00:08:56,130
How 'bout "Gebo"
or, or "Mung"?!
166
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,850
- Yeah! "Mung"!
- "Mung"'s good!
167
00:08:58,010 --> 00:08:58,850
Here they come!
168
00:08:59,010 --> 00:08:59,970
Well hello there, queefs!
169
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:02,730
All bundled up nice
and warm, are we?!
170
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,330
You know what you guys are?!
You guys are nothing but mung!
171
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:08,050
- Wha'di'ju call us?!
- We're not mung! You're mung!
172
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:10,370
So you know
what "mung" means!
173
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:12,170
Of course we know
what "mung" means!
174
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:14,570
Yeah! 'Ju think we wouldn't
know what "mung" means?!
175
00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:18,090
We've busted you!
176
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:21,410
Yeah! Yeah! "Mung" isn't
even a word! We made it up!
177
00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:26,210
ou guys are even stupider than
I thougt! "Mung" is SO a word!
178
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:28,170
It is?!
179
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:31,770
Yeah! "Mung" is the stuff that
comes out when ya push down
180
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,370
on a pregnant woman's stomach!
181
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:37,610
You guys didn't know that?
182
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,180
C'mon, guys! Let's get
away from these rednecks
183
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,881
before we get
redneckacitis, or somethin'!
184
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:45,970
You dumbass, Cartman!
185
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:48,970
Yeah! Next time you make up a word,
don't make up one that already exists!
186
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,010
It's so nice to see you, son!
187
00:09:53,170 --> 00:09:56,290
I'm so proud that you're part of the
four million child recorder blow!
188
00:09:56,450 --> 00:10:00,130
Yes! I hope it's okay if I stay
here a few nights, mother!
189
00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:02,730
I have some things I really
need to talk to you about!
190
00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:04,890
About what?
191
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:09,410
Mother, did you know that dad
never sexually molested me?
192
00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:12,650
- That, that can't be!
- He never did, mom! Not once!
193
00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:15,970
That's not true! Your
father loved you! Often!
194
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:19,450
He never did, mom, and I
think you knew he never did!
195
00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:22,290
No! No! If I knew,
I would've made him do it!
196
00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:23,770
You stood by and let it happen!
197
00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:26,610
You saw him come home drunk
and then just go right to sleep!
198
00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:29,930
- I'm not listening! - Face it,
mother! He never abused me!
199
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,130
Uh, what's goin' on?!
200
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:33,570
Mother won't hear the truth!
201
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,970
He says you didn't
molest him as a child!
202
00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:37,490
I didn't! You knew I didn't!
203
00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,410
No! I didn't know!
I'm not listening!
204
00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:43,170
You can't close your
eyes forever, mother!
205
00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,530
Mother, wait!
206
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:48,610
Alright! Penasameri plenahabikabapi!
207
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:52,850
We must have participate inapi tonga
for the performance tomorrow, please!
208
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:57,410
Okay, children! We need to pay
closer attention to the sheet music!
209
00:10:57,570 --> 00:11:01,730
Remember, if you get lost, just
follow along with Mr. Kenny G here!
210
00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:02,970
Hey! That's it, Kenny!
211
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:06,210
Maybe Kenny G can show us where
92 cents below the lowest E flat is,
212
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:08,170
then we'll know the Brown Noise!
213
00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:19,650
STOP! STOP IT! YAMEKIN
YODEBA PIECE YOU GOT THERE!
214
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:26,570
THAT WAS A TERRIBLE! THAT
WAS HORRIBEE! WA'WE GONNA DO?!
215
00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:29,290
- What the hell is that lady
talking about?! - I have no idea!
216
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:35,610
- Uh, Mr. Garrison Senior!
- Uh, that's me!
217
00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:39,050
Uh, my name is Mr. Mackey!
I'm your school councilor! M'kay?
218
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:40,210
What can I do for you?
219
00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:44,010
I wanna talk to you about your son!
I'm his, uh, therapist! M'kay?
220
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:47,730
Oh, brother! Look! I didn't sexually
abuse my son when he was younger!
221
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:51,170
- Uh, you didn't?! - No! He's
upset because I didn't molest him!
222
00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:54,570
Oh! Hm! Uh, I guess
that's a little different!
223
00:11:54,690 --> 00:11:58,090
A LITTLE?! Yeah! He thinks if I don't
molest him, it means I don't love him!
224
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,850
Well now, what's he s'posed
to think, Mr. Garrison?
225
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:04,330
I mean, uh, look at all media, all the
magazines ads, and television ads
226
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,330
talking about sexual
molestation! M'kay?
227
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,410
He sees all that and asumes that you
didn't molest him because of some
228
00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:12,650
flaw in his looks or personality!
229
00:12:12,770 --> 00:12:14,650
I didn't do it
because it's wrong!
230
00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:15,730
I know!
231
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:19,570
but I'm afraid this problem has run very
deep through Mr. Garrison's mental state!
232
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:23,210
I worried that if you don't do
something, well, it could kill 'im!
233
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:24,392
Hold on a second!
234
00:12:24,393 --> 00:12:27,893
Are you actually suggesting that I
have sex with my 41-year-old son?
235
00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:31,930
There comes a time in every father's
life when he must ask himself,
236
00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:35,850
"How far will I go to save
my son's life?"! M'kay?!
237
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,930
Well, I won't have sex with 'im!
- Well, I've said all I can say!
238
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:41,250
I know it's difficult,
239
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:44,690
but family is about compromises!
240
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:48,410
Don't lose your son
over this, Mr. Garrison!
241
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:52,770
Dont-lose-your-son! M-kay?!
242
00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:57,770
Am I the only sane
person left on earth?!
243
00:12:57,970 --> 00:13:00,250
Tomorrow, the world
will be tuning in as over
244
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:03,850
four million children play "My Country
Tis of Thee" on their recorders!
245
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:06,230
It is by far the
largest gathering of
246
00:13:06,231 --> 00:13:08,721
little plastic recorders in
human history! Yoko Ono has...
247
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:12,410
Well, mom said I could sleep in the
guest room tonight! G'night, dad!
248
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,050
Good night!
249
00:13:15,450 --> 00:13:18,970
Guess I'll just go
on up to bed now!
250
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:26,450
Don't really have any pajamas! Guess
I'll just sleep in my boxers or something!
251
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,790
Should be fine!
252
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:32,250
I'll leave the door
open a little in case you
253
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:34,450
need to see me 'bout anything!
254
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:36,690
Won't be necessary!
255
00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:43,330
I'll just be goin' up to bed now!
256
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,610
Guess, guess maybe I won't
even wear those boxers!
257
00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:51,130
- I'm not going to molest you!
- YOU DON'T LOVE ME!
258
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:54,610
- I WANNA DIE!
- Goddammit!
259
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:58,350
I wish we could find a way to get
back at those New Yorker Kids!
260
00:13:58,410 --> 00:14:00,470
- Yeah! They think they're so cool!
- Y'guys! Y'guys!
261
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,930
We found it!
We found it, y'guys!
262
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,410
- Calm down, Cartman!
- You found what?
263
00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:04,410
The Brown Noise!
264
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:06,730
Kenny and me found the Brown
Noise! Here! Look! Look! Look!
265
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,530
Okay! Let's see!
Okay?! Okay!
266
00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:10,610
Okay! Ready, Kenny?
267
00:14:14,472 --> 00:14:16,201
Oh, no! I just crapped my pants!
268
00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:16,930
No way!
269
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,130
- I don't believe it! - I'm
seriously, y'guys! C'mon! Watch!
270
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:26,970
Whoa! Oh, my God!
I crapped my pants!
271
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:29,570
- That's amazing!
- I told y'guys!
272
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:31,570
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
273
00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:34,210
That they should bring back Chicago
Hope for another season? Totally!
274
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:38,450
No! That we could use the Brown Noise to
get back at those asshole New Yorker Kids!
275
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,010
Yeah, dude!
276
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,650
They should bring back another season
of Chicago Hope though, seriously!
277
00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:49,330
Hey, what's the matter there,
Garrison?! You look kinda sad!
278
00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:51,010
I'm having some
troubles at home!
279
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:54,250
Well, c'mon! Tell us about it! We always
help each other out! Don't we, fellas?
280
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:55,730
- Yeah!
- Yeah! That's right!
281
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:59,730
Alright! It's just that, I mean,
we're all family men here! Right?
282
00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,930
- Sure!
- Sure are!
283
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:04,290
Well, can I ask you guys
a difficult question?
284
00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:06,330
- D'absoulutly!
- Of course!
285
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:07,530
Alright!
286
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:11,650
Would you have sex with
your son to save his life?
287
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:16,530
This is one of them
Scruples questions! Ain't it!?
288
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:17,930
No, no! I got a better one!
289
00:15:18,090 --> 00:15:22,050
Would you have sex with your
mother to save your father's life?
290
00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:26,290
Oh! Like if someone had a gun
to your father's head and said:
291
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:28,530
"Have sex with your
mother or else I'll shoot 'im!"?
292
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:30,290
- Yeah!
- That's a tough one!
293
00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:32,130
No, no, wait! Uh,
you don't understand!
294
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:35,490
How 'bout if someone made you have
sex with your mother and father
295
00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:36,770
to save your own life?
296
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,450
No! No! No way!
297
00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:43,330
But if it was to save my mother's life, I think
I would have to have sex with my father!
298
00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:45,570
- Me too! - Well, I think
that goes without saying!
299
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,970
Well actually, I'm just
talking about a son!
300
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:51,010
Well personally, I would have sex with
my son to save my mother's life!
301
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,410
It depends on how big a
gun are we talking here?!
302
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,970
- Uh, he doesn't have a gun!
- The father doesn't have a gun?
303
00:15:56,130 --> 00:15:57,570
NO! NOBODY'S GOT A GUN!
304
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:02,090
I think if someone said "Have sex with your
mother or else I'm gonna kill your son!"
305
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,650
but he didn't have a
gun, I wouldn't do it!
306
00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:07,690
- He could have a knife though!
- Yeah! Right! - Sure! Right!
307
00:16:07,890 --> 00:16:10,570
If a killer put a knife
to my throat and said:
308
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:13,330
"Have sex with your father or
else I'm gonna kill your mother
309
00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:15,530
while havin' sex with you!",
310
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,210
I would have sex with myself!
311
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,610
Yeah! I would! That makes sense!
What're you talking about?
312
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,250
- How do we write the
note, Cartman? - Left E flat...
313
00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:27,130
- Let's see! I think it
looks like this! - Alright!
314
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,662
Now, all we do is wipe out the
last note on their sheet music
315
00:16:29,663 --> 00:16:31,363
and change it to the
tone Cartman played!
316
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:32,530
C'mon!
317
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:37,530
There!
318
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:39,410
That should do it!
319
00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:41,650
Sweet! I can't wait to see 'em crap their
pants in front of everybody, y'guys!
320
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:42,890
Okay! Let's get back to the room!
321
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:48,050
What's this?! Revised
music for tomorrow?
322
00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:51,050
Chip! Did you get revised
music for tomorrow?!
323
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:53,530
Ms. Ono has made revisions again!
324
00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:56,210
We've got to get these
copied four million times and
325
00:16:56,370 --> 00:16:59,850
make the revisions to the
projected music! C'mon! Hurry!
326
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,770
Dad?
327
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:18,010
Oh! I'm just fast asleep
not hearing anything!
328
00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:24,770
Woah, dad!
Oh, goodness gracious!
329
00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:28,570
Don't stop, dad! Stop!
Wow! Oh, how could you?!
330
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:34,250
Well, mom, dad, I guess I better be going!
The concert's going to start soon!
331
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:36,610
Are you sure you can't
stay one more night, son?
332
00:17:36,730 --> 00:17:38,970
No! I think all my
work here is done.
333
00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:43,090
Dad, I don't know what to say! I
feel closer to you than I ever have!
334
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,410
Well, I just hope that now we
can put the past behind us and,
335
00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:47,330
and try to be a
normal family again!
336
00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:48,610
We sure can!
337
00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:51,730
Well, I've got a worldwide
telecast recorder concert to get to!
338
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,650
We'll be watching on TV!
Make us proud, son!
339
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:57,890
I will! Goodbye, mom!
Goodbye, dad!
340
00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:02,290
Grey skys are gonna clear
up! Put on a happy face!
341
00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:05,410
- You did the right thing, papa.
- I didn't do squat!
342
00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:07,890
Here you go!
A hundred bucks!
343
00:18:08,050 --> 00:18:11,010
Oh! That's okay! Keep
your money! Thanks!
344
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,744
Live from Oklahoma City, four
million third-grade students from
345
00:18:18,745 --> 00:18:23,270
all over the country playing "My
Country 'Tis of Thee" on their recorders!
346
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:29,850
Dude, I can't wait 'til those New Yorker kids
play the Brown Noise and crap their pants!
347
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:31,490
We have to watch
them! We can't miss it!
348
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,930
Are we all ready
to play? Thanks!
349
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:36,290
Okay, let's see the music!
350
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:39,010
- This is gonna be sweet!
- Oh, no, dude! Look!
351
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:40,810
It's the music WE changed!
352
00:18:41,490 --> 00:18:44,210
Dude! I four million people play the
Brown Noise at the same time...
353
00:18:44,211 --> 00:18:46,144
One, two, sie, pizza!
354
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,490
NO!
355
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:58,770
Stop! Stop!
356
00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:03,610
- Uh, aren't those our boys?
- Oh, no! What are they doing?
357
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,890
NOOOOO!
358
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,570
I'm standing in New York City,
359
00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:26,290
but it could just as well be
any town on earth right now.
360
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:28,650
The desolation, the
dammage is exactly the same
361
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:30,570
in every city the
whole world over!
362
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:34,170
It's been just under twenty hours since
everyone on earth pooped their pants,
363
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:36,930
and people still roam their
damaged homes with disbelief
364
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:38,650
and loss! Rick?
365
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:43,010
Alan, I'm standing at ground zero! Here,
the damage is greater than anywhere!
366
00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:46,850
Like the rest of the world, everyone
here has crapped their pants!
367
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,250
Some crapped themselves to death,
368
00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:52,730
and still, others ruined
perfectly good pairs of pants!
369
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,730
A nation mourns
and tries to rebuild,
370
00:19:54,930 --> 00:19:56,730
but the big question that remains is:
371
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,970
"How did this happen?"
372
00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:03,321
Well, I'd say other than making everyone
in the world crap their pants,
373
00:20:03,322 --> 00:20:06,235
our event went over really well!
- Really well?! Really well?!
374
00:20:06,236 --> 00:20:08,065
You gonna be wickedy I tell you again!
375
00:20:08,066 --> 00:20:10,366
Look at some of the averaging over
the gaidis o'er the really well!
376
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:15,330
Alright! C'mon everybody! We've got a
long bus ride back to Colorado! M'kay?
377
00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:17,330
Well, that whole
experience sure did suck!
378
00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:19,130
Yeah, but you know,
I learned something today!
379
00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:21,530
We were so worried about how cool
we looked to those New Yorker kids
380
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:23,410
that we forgot,
we're already totally cool,
381
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,010
even if we don't know
what "queef" means!
382
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:28,130
A "queef" is a vaginal
explosion of gas! M'kay!
383
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:30,410
- Here they are!
- Yeah!
384
00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:32,010
Oh, brother!
Let's just get out of here!
385
00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:35,730
Hey! Not so fast! We know it was
you guys that changed the music
386
00:20:35,731 --> 00:20:38,481
and made everyone on
earth crap their pants!
387
00:20:38,490 --> 00:20:40,490
- Yeah! We knows all about it!
- Oh, no!
388
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,576
Yeah! Me and the guys, well,
we was talkin'! And well,
389
00:20:42,577 --> 00:20:45,577
well we just want you to know
that we think you're pretty cool!
390
00:20:45,650 --> 00:20:46,730
- You do?!
- Sure! I mean,
391
00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:49,770
Everybody on earth shit themselves
cause of you, and that's pretty cool!
392
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:50,970
I mean, that's pretty amazing!
393
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,410
Yeah! We was wrong
about you guys! We're sorry!
394
00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:56,402
Well, that's fine! That's fine! Next
time, just remember that we're all
395
00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:58,803
pretty cool on the west side too,
if ya know what I'm saying!
396
00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:00,370
Yeah! See you guys later!
397
00:21:00,530 --> 00:21:02,450
C'mon, boys! You're
holdin' up the bus!
398
00:21:02,610 --> 00:21:04,890
Oh, wow! Look!
It's Kenny G himself!
399
00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:07,250
Thank you for a
wonderful concert Mr. G!
400
00:21:07,410 --> 00:21:09,210
G'goodbye.
401
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,490
Oh, well thank you!
402
00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:14,410
You know it's funny!
You kiss just like my dad!
403
00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:18,930
Well, Ms. Crabtree, this certainly has
been a great trip! Let's head home!
404
00:21:19,090 --> 00:21:20,930
Which way should we go?
405
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:25,750
Second star to the right
and straight on 'til morning.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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