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1
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Dude, what're we gonna do for New
Year's Eve?! It has to be awesome!
2
00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:39,570
I know! It's probably gonna be
the biggest night of our lives!
3
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:42,270
- Y'guys! Y'guys! Guess what!
- What, fatass?!
4
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,740
I've become a man!
I started pubrity, y'guys!
5
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,660
- What?! - No you didn't!
- Yes! I really did!
6
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:52,460
- How do you know?! - Well,
because yesterday, I got my period!
7
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,450
- You got your what?!
- My period, y'guys!
8
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:58,371
You see, there comes a time in every
child's life when they grow up and
9
00:00:58,372 --> 00:01:00,814
nature starts to take its course by
having you bleed out of your ass
10
00:01:00,815 --> 00:01:03,520
for a few days every month!
- You're making that up!
11
00:01:03,740 --> 00:01:06,100
Miss Alton, what's it
mean to get a period?!
12
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,990
Well, boys, I don't
think I can tell you! Uh...
13
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,005
Please! It's important!
14
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,320
Well, it's when pubrity
hits and you bleed...
15
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:16,480
you know... down there!
- Holy shit, dude! Cartman's right!
16
00:01:16,515 --> 00:01:19,620
Well, guys, I'm afraid I won't be able to
hang out with you on New Year's Eve!
17
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,610
I have to hang out with the older
crowd because now, I'm mature!
18
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:27,320
I got my period and
you guys didn't!
19
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:30,930
Dude, Cartman can't
hit pubrity before us!
20
00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:34,220
Well, maybe we'll get ours soon too! I'm
gonna go see if I'm bleeding out my ass!
21
00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:35,221
Me too!
22
00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:38,550
In local news, a stomach
virus is going around
23
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:41,800
that is causing bleeding of
the colon in some small children!
24
00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:44,370
Doctors are telling parents that
the virus is nothing to worry about
25
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:47,900
and that the infections can be
dealt-with with simple antibiotics!
26
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,800
Well, it's just four days until
New Year's Eve 1999!
27
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,860
The new millenium is almost
upon us, and all over the world,
28
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:59,980
people have started to celebrate by
dancing, singing, and killing one another!
29
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,693
But, probably, the biggest event of
the millenium is one happening in
30
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:07,660
South Park, Colarado, where people have
gathered for a chance to see Jesus Christ!
31
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:09,300
Craig Nezzo is standing by!
32
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:12,350
Thank's, Tom! It is indeed four
days until the new millenium
33
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:16,340
and hundreds if not thousands of people have
come from all over the world seeking Jesus
34
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,130
here at his house in South Park!
35
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:21,010
Everyone is giddy with
anticipation for Jesus to come out
36
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:26,040
because, as we all know, if Jesus comes
out of his and is not scared by his shadow,
37
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:29,260
it means the next thousand years
will be full of peace and love!
38
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:32,300
Oh! It looks like
Jesus might be coming out!
39
00:02:35,060 --> 00:02:39,440
- Oh, look, Tommy! There he is! Can
you see him?! - He's neat, mommy!
40
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:48,140
Everyone is quiet here, Tom! Looks
like the little fellow's a bit nervous!
41
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:51,020
But, he has taken another step out!
Tom, this is great news for us!
42
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:56,700
What are you people doing?
43
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,900
Can I help you with something?
44
00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:06,140
Well, it's the millenium, Jesus!
45
00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:10,900
Well, it's the millenium!
46
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,000
So, what happens at the millenium?
47
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,240
- I don't know!
- We thought YOU did!
48
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:21,540
Yeah! You're s'posed to know! - Yeah!
You're Jesus! You're s'posed to know!
49
00:03:22,460 --> 00:03:26,680
Oh! Well... Yea! Believe in
me an ye shall find peace!
50
00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:29,423
Yeah, yeah, yeah! We've heard that
crap for about 2000 years now!
51
00:03:29,424 --> 00:03:33,220
We wanna hear something new! It's
the year 2000 for Christ's sake!
52
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,460
Well, wha'd'you want?!
53
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,820
- We want to see God!
- Yeah! With our own eyes!
54
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:41,174
We followed blindly for thousands
of years and we think the least
55
00:03:41,175 --> 00:03:45,775
God can do is show up
for New Year's Eve 1999!
56
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:48,900
Uh, lemmie think
about that for a minute!
57
00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:54,020
- Is that good?!
- I don't know!
58
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:58,500
Dude! Did you get your period yet?! - No!
There's no blood coming out of my ass!
59
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,066
Mine neither,
but I double checked
60
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,367
and Cartman was right! Your
period is that start of pubrity!
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00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,601
Well, if Cartman's the only one who
gets it and he thinks he's too grown-up
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00:04:04,602 --> 00:04:06,940
to hang out with us on New Year's
Eve, then screw him anyways!
63
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,650
C'mon, Cartman! We have
to make plans for New Years!
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00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:28,180
Hold your horses, guys! This is
very important for mature people!
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00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:32,300
"Offers complete protection
during heavy flow".
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00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:36,740
"Makes main stoppage
of vaginal chunks".
67
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,220
Oh! This one's
got wings, y'guys!
68
00:04:39,221 --> 00:04:41,571
Whoopie! I got my
period! I got my period too!
69
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:44,320
- You did?! - You got
your period too, Kenny?!
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00:04:44,321 --> 00:04:46,761
Yeah, you guys! I got home, sat
on the toilet, and I got my period!
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00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:49,320
Well, welcome to the club, Kenny! You
got your period, so now you're a man!
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00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,860
We can hang out
together on New Year's Eve!
73
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:54,214
But first, you need to buy some
maxipads to stuff in the back of your
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00:04:54,215 --> 00:04:57,215
pants so you don't get
blood on your underwear!
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00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:02,740
Tom, it looked for a second as if Jesus
was going to come out of his house,
76
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,300
but then, he went back inside!
77
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:07,860
But meanwhile, more and more people are
showing up to show their support for Jesus!
78
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,480
Well, the way I see, if he
really is who he says he is,
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00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,940
well, he'd better do
something on New Year's Eve,
80
00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:16,820
'cause it's in the Bible!
81
00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:22,180
Father, I need to talk to you!
Please, father! Appear to me!
82
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,980
What is it, my child?!
83
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:31,860
Father, everyone is starting to pay attention
to me again because of the new millenium!
84
00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,650
I'm kinda making a come-back!
85
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:38,530
Yea! Like John Travolta before you!
You are experiencing a second revival!
86
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:41,170
It's the millenium, father!
People want to see you!
87
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:44,860
Nay! Their eyes are not yet
prepared to see the likes of me!
88
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,240
But dad, I think this may be
my one big shot at a come-back!
89
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,171
Be ye careful of pride, Jesus!
- Just make an appearance!
90
00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:54,990
You can come down, say hi to a few
people, and can be back by 12:30!
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00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,390
I'm sorry, my son,
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00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,180
but if you want to earn everyone's
love, you will have to do it yourself!
93
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,620
Ike, can I talk to you?!
- Uh, uh! We're different!
94
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,830
Ike, I don't know what to do! All
the guys are getting their periods
95
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:12,540
and I don't think I am! I can't be
the last one to get it! I just can't!
96
00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:14,941
Buh, buh! Cheerie!
97
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:17,050
Cartman got his, then Kenny!
98
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,303
What if tomorrow Stan says
he got his and I'm left out!
99
00:06:19,304 --> 00:06:21,115
I might not even get to
be their friend anymore!
100
00:06:21,116 --> 00:06:26,416
No! Words are sucker! Mogie!
Moogamo goust! Cabagoust!
101
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:29,900
Yeah! I could just SAY I got my
period! It's not like they'll check!
102
00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:32,610
I can just say I got my period
cause I really WILL get it someday!
103
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:35,200
It's not really lying! It's
just jumping the gun a little!
104
00:06:35,201 --> 00:06:37,300
Cooka makker!
- Thanks a lot, Ike!
105
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,450
So you guys aren't gonna
spend New Year's Eve with us?!
106
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:42,910
Look! Kenny and I are mature now! We can't
spend New Year's Eve with a couple of kids!
107
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:46,330
Did you get your maxipads, Kenny?!
- No, I went and got a tampon!
108
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,320
Tampon?! What's a tampon?!
109
00:06:48,321 --> 00:06:51,260
It's a dildo! You stick it in your
ass! - Ew! Doesn't that hurt?!
110
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,420
- YOU GUYS! I GOT MY PERIOD TOO!
- Wow! Cool!
111
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,650
- You did?!
- Yeah!
112
00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:58,860
I was just hangin' out in my room and
then I perioded all over the place!
113
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:01,430
Alright! You have to be in
me and Kenny's club then!
114
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,250
My mom gave me this "Women
who Run with the Wolves" book and
115
00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:06,350
I'm finding out all about
our goddess powers!
116
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,745
Awesome! We get powers?!
117
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:11,140
Yeah! C'mon! We can set up everything in my
clubhouse and get ready for New Year's Eve!
118
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,950
Hey! Don't feel bad, Stan!
119
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,700
Some of us just mature
a little later than others!
120
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:25,504
"Are you there, God?! It's me!
Stan! If you wouldn't mind,
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00:07:25,510 --> 00:07:28,340
I don't wanna be the only kid who doesn't
get his period before the new year!
122
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:32,380
Could you speed up my development a
little?! Thanks, God! Your friend, Stan!"
123
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:41,400
"Are you there, God?!
It's me! Jesus!
124
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:44,310
I feel like I got a real
shot at a come-back, God!
125
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,020
For whatever reason, people
are starting to follow me again!
126
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:50,250
I'm two-thousand years old, but
I feel like I'm twenty-eight again!
127
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,130
I think I'm going to
win everybody back
128
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:55,700
because I just made a few phone calls
and I'm going to put on the most amazing
129
00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:59,200
New Year's specticle this
world has ever seen!"
130
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:07,660
Good morning, South Park! It's 8 AM and
only 2 more days until the new millenium!
131
00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,860
Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit!
132
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,860
Stanley, honey,
what's the matter?!
133
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,500
I'm not bleeding out of my ass!
134
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,310
Well, that's good, honey!
135
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,920
No, it's not! It's terrible!
136
00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:26,450
Are you there, God! It's me! Stan!
How come you didn't help me?
137
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:29,290
I know you're really busy with things,
but this is a matter of life and death!
138
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,690
If I don't get my period, my friends won't let
me hang out with them on New Year's Eve!
139
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,600
Please! Please, give
me my period soon!
140
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,140
- Here he comes!
- He's coming out!
141
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,190
I've given it much thought,
my children, and you were right!
142
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,464
After reviewing the Bible,
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00:08:45,465 --> 00:08:49,465
it does indeed say that something very
big is going to happen at the millenium!
144
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:52,370
I have spoken to
my father in heaven
145
00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:55,310
and he agreed that the millenium
is significant to all of us,
146
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,000
and ye who believe in
me SHALL be rewarded!
147
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:02,580
So, what we're gonna do,
tomorrow night New Year's Eve 1999,
148
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:06,534
we just got Rod Stewart to agree to
play a COME-BACK CONCERT AT THE
149
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:10,640
RIO HOTEL CASINO IN LAS
VEGAS, AND YOU'RE ALL GOING!
150
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:16,640
We knew you could do it, Jesus!
151
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:20,140
I better book myself
a flight to Vegas!
152
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:22,740
For he is Saviour!
153
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,180
For he is Lord!
154
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:30,140
He give me hope when
I have only been born!
155
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:34,660
And he lifts me up
with his gentle arms!
156
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:37,980
Okay! Is everyone accounted for?
157
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,730
- Goddess Wind!
- Here!
158
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,260
Goddess Moon!?
159
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:43,390
GODDESS MOON!?
- I'm here!
160
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,785
And I'm here,
Goddess Earthly Delights!
161
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,650
So this is the first meeting of our club
for teens who have gotten their periods!
162
00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:52,250
We're s'posed to talk about our periods
and boys! Let's talk about boys first!
163
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:55,160
I think Craig is pretty cool, but
I don't think Clyde is very cool!
164
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,580
I think Clyde is kinda cool, but Craig
is definitely cooler than Clyde!
165
00:09:58,581 --> 00:10:02,081
Yeah! I agree! I think that Craig is cooler
than Clyde, and Clyde is a dirty dumb fuck!
166
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:06,180
Okay! That settles that! Now let's talk
about our periods! Kyle, you first!
167
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,290
What's the matter, Kyle?
168
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:13,100
Nothing!
My period is really...
169
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,240
My period is going swimmingly!
170
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:22,580
Okay! That makes sense! Mine's
going swimmingly too! - Mine too!
171
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,980
Oh! Hello, Stan!
172
00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:28,960
- Hey, Chef!
- How's it goin'?
173
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,950
Bad!
174
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:30,970
Why bad?!
175
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,180
- Can I come in?
- Well, sure!
176
00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:35,900
Now what's the matter,
little cracker?
177
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,500
Chef, I have this friend! See?! And
this person's really bummed out
178
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,860
because everyone else the same age has
gotten their period and this person hasn't!
179
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:45,580
- Oh! Your talkin' about your
older sister Shelly? - No!
180
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,090
Your little girlfriend Wendy!
181
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,479
Look, it doesn't matter who it is!
182
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,680
The point is that everyone else got
their period and this person hasn't!
183
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:54,330
Look, Stan! Do you really know what a
period is? - Yeah! Cartman told us!
184
00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:57,324
Stan, let me sing you a little
song about the menstral cycle!
185
00:10:57,325 --> 00:10:59,925
I think it might clear
things up for you! - Okay!
186
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:23,020
I'm alright!
I'm, I'm cool! It's okay!
187
00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:25,500
Watch out for
the bedspread, baby!
188
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,700
I'll tell ya what!
189
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,820
Why don't I call you next week?
190
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:39,300
And that's my song about the menstral
cycle! Stan, did that clear things up for you?
191
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,645
So what you're saying is this
person shouldn't be bummed
192
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,340
because everybody has their
period at a different time!
193
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,570
- Is that what I said?!
- But it's not fair!
194
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:50,800
It's not fair that one day you're on top,
you're the coolest kid in town,
195
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:52,417
and then the next day
you're at the bottom again
196
00:11:52,418 --> 00:11:53,688
because everyone has blood
coming out of their ass but you,
197
00:11:53,695 --> 00:11:56,443
and if I can't menstruate then, by God,
I'm gonna sit around and be the
198
00:11:56,444 --> 00:11:59,944
only periodless eight-year-old boy!
I'm gonna do something about it!
199
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,060
Whoa! I must've missed
a whole little part there!
200
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:08,340
Can't tell you how excited Rod Stewart
is about this millenium concert!
201
00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:11,700
He's gotten a little older, but you're
gonna see how much he can still rock!
202
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:12,930
H'oh! I'm excited too!
203
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,220
I think it'll bring my father's children
back to their faith and back to mine eyes,
204
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,120
for I am the lamb of God!
205
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:21,674
Yeah! And, ya know Rod is a seasoned
veteran, so I'm gonna have to ask
206
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:25,060
for a bit more cash, but we can talk
about that later! Here comes Rod now!
207
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,320
Hey! Rod! Great to see you!
208
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:37,730
The folks are sure glad you're playing! It's
really given them a lot of faith in me again!
209
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:42,120
I'm sure that together we can make this
millenium party the best New Year's bash ever!
210
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,800
- Poop pants!
- What?!
211
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:45,860
- Poop pants!
- Poo pants?!
212
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,500
- You pooped your pants?!
- Pooped my pants!
213
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:52,860
Nurse! Mr. Stewart has
apparently pooped his pants!
214
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:58,580
Again?! Now, Mr. Stewart, what did we
say about trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?
215
00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:05,580
Yes! Pubrity is a very
wonderful thing, Stan!
216
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:08,260
It's what links us all
together, makes us one!
217
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,650
But what happens if there's someone
who never went through pubrity?
218
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:13,650
Never went through pubrity?!
Who never went through pubrity?
219
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,780
Nobody! I mean,
uh, well, my dad!
220
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:18,900
Your father never
went through pubrity?
221
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:22,060
No, and that's why he sent me here, 'cause
he's too embarrassed to come himself!
222
00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:25,180
Well, I can't say that I blame him! - So
do you know anything that can help him?
223
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:30,340
Well, I should think the most logical
solution would be Hormones! - Hormones?
224
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,890
Yes! Here! Tell you father to take
just one of these pills every week!
225
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,400
It could be just what he needs!
226
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:40,370
And be sure to tell him that
his secret is safe with me!
227
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:42,138
Thanks a lot, Dr. Mephesto!
You're the best!
228
00:13:42,139 --> 00:13:45,289
My pleasure! I just
love helping people!
229
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,534
Now for our first club activity! We're
s'posed to reach into this little dish and
230
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:05,400
pull out a word! We look at the word and
think about what that word means to us!
231
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:09,220
Today's word is "Spirituality".
232
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,780
What that means to me is...
233
00:14:10,815 --> 00:14:12,180
Hey, assholes!
234
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,890
Oh, look! It's that little boy who
hasn't got his period yet!
235
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:19,340
Don't you worry about that!
I've started taking Hormones!
236
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,694
- Hormones? - Yeah! They make you have
your pubrity quicker, and I'm just here to
237
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,480
tell you that my pubrity is gonna
be bigger than any of you guys's!
238
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,810
Dude, I don't think eight-year-olds
are s'posed to take Hormones!
239
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:31,580
Yeah! You shouldn't force your period, Stan!
You should let it come like the morning dew!
240
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,446
So what're we gonna
do for New Year's?
241
00:14:33,447 --> 00:14:35,647
Well, we're going with
our families to Las Vegas!
242
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,620
I guess there'll be some younger
kids there too if you wanna go!
243
00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:41,300
I'm gonna go take
some more Hormones!
244
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,780
Now, the word is "Spirituality".
245
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:47,300
I believe that the goddess in
me is more spirituality because...
246
00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:50,960
Quiet, Kenny! The goddess
lives in all of us and has...
247
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:53,780
Goddammit, Kenny!
Shut the hell up!
248
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:57,740
Whoa, dude!
249
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,760
- Mr. and Mrs. McKormic?
Yes?
250
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:04,590
I'm sorry! We couldn't
save your son!
251
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,940
Oh, my God! My little Kenny's
gone! I can't believe it!
252
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:11,640
We just didn't get to him in time!
There's nothing we could do!
253
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,850
What happened?!
What killed him, doctor?!
254
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,470
Well, we found a tampon
stuck up your child's ass!
255
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,620
Apparently, he'd had it
up there for several days!
256
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:24,020
It plugged him up until he finally burst from
the inside out like a ruptured septic tank!
257
00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:25,350
Oh, my God!
258
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:28,690
My worry is that he could've been
following some kind of crazy new fad!
259
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:30,805
Perhaps the children are all
shoving tampons up their ass
260
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,220
because they've seen the Backstreet
Boys doing it on TV or something!
261
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,900
We must get to the bottom of
this, if you'll pardon the pun!
262
00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:40,181
But, actually right now, I've gotta
catch a plane to Las Vegas
263
00:15:40,182 --> 00:15:41,682
to see the Rod
Stewart millenium show!
264
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,740
Rod Stewart's gonna be in Vegas?
265
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,774
Tom, I'm here live in Las Vegas
where tommorrow night,
266
00:15:47,775 --> 00:15:50,375
THE New Year's Eve
event is going to happen!
267
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,722
Jesus Christ,
our lord and saviour,
268
00:15:52,723 --> 00:15:56,323
is presenting Rod Stewart,
the undisputed king of pop,
269
00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:57,932
right here at this
hotel behind me!
270
00:15:58,020 --> 00:16:00,500
It looks as thought Jesus
really has come through!
271
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:03,129
Everyone is very excited
because rumour has it
272
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,430
that GOD himself is gonna show
up to the event! - What?!
273
00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:08,920
How 'bout you, ma'am?! Do you think
God is gonna show up tommorrow night?
274
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:12,540
Of course, he is! This is Jesus we're
talking about! He wouldn't let us down!
275
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:15,020
Oh, no!
276
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,980
Are you there, God?
277
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,820
Father! Will you please reconsider
and show up tomorrow?
278
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:24,020
Hello?
279
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:29,100
Stanley, wake up, honey! It's
time to leave for Las Vegas.
280
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,580
Whoa, dude! I've got boobs!
281
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,680
Hey, Las Vegas is a pretty cool
place for us mature people!
282
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,580
Alright, people! Are we
ready to rock the millenium?
283
00:16:56,900 --> 00:17:00,920
Father in heaven, please let tonight's
show go well! Please make them like it!
284
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,290
Hey! Here comes Stan.
285
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:05,350
Have I missed anything? - Wow, Stan!
You've really got some nice titties there!
286
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,940
- Did you get your period yet,
Stan? - No, I didn't, but...
287
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:09,570
But don't worry!
You'll get it someday!
288
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:12,980
C'mon, Kyle! Let's go see what kind of
tampons they have here in Las Vegas!
289
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:17,620
Well, I tell you one thing! I, sure as heck,
am excited! We've got about four hours
290
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:20,690
to the new year and so I
think it's time to START IT UP!
291
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,140
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
HERE HE IS! AS PROMISED,
292
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,380
MR. ROD "DO YA THINK
I'M SEXY" STEWART!
293
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:58,880
Uh, pooped 'em.
294
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,980
- This sucks balls!
- Yeah!
295
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:07,120
- Alright! Enough of this!
Bring out God! - Yeah!
296
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,120
Oh, no!
297
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,820
WE WANT GOD! WE WANT GOD!
298
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,540
Please, father! Do something!
299
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:18,600
Uh, folks! I'm afraid God
can't make it tonight!
300
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:21,120
We came all the way
to Las Vegas for this?
301
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,220
This is the worst New Year's
ever! Thanks a lot, Jesus!
302
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,780
Let's get'im!
303
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,691
Well, Tom, I'm here
live in Las Vegas
304
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,992
and what is quickly becoming
known as the gayest party ever!
305
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:36,200
Everyone is so outraged that
they are building a large cross
306
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:39,900
in which to once again crucify
our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ!
307
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:42,910
Jesus, why does God hate me?!
308
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,700
He doesn't hate YOU! He hates ME!
He's gonna let me be crucified again!
309
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,798
He hates me more!
He doesn't answer my prayers!
310
00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:51,299
I pray to him everyday
and he never answered me!
311
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,592
Well, yeah, but just because God
doesn't answer your prayers
312
00:18:53,593 --> 00:18:54,893
doesn't mean he
doesn't care about you!
313
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,700
Well then, why didn't he
give me what I wanted?
314
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:59,682
Well, God can't just answer every
prayer and suddenly give you
315
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:03,380
everything you want! That takes all the
living out of life! - Wha'd'you mean?
316
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,540
If God answered all our prayers, there'd
be nothing left for us to do ourselves!
317
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:10,740
Life is about problems and
overcoming those problems,
318
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,970
and growing and
learning from obsticals!
319
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:15,450
If God just fixed everything for us,
320
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:18,120
then there'd be no
point in our existance!
321
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:21,610
That's why he wouldn't show up to my
New Year's party! - I just want my period!
322
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,530
I get it now, father! I had
to learn all this on my own!
323
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:26,520
I was overcome with
my new popularity and,
324
00:19:26,555 --> 00:19:28,500
and I let pride get in the
way of good judgement!
325
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:33,700
Whoa! What is that?!
326
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:36,130
It's dad!
327
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:39,620
God?! God is going to show himself?
- Look! I can see him!
328
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:43,165
Father! You came!
329
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,860
Now, look upon me,
my children, as you know me!
330
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,750
Be not afraid!
331
00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:51,220
Blessed art thou, my children!
332
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:54,300
That's God?
333
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,750
Yea! 'Tis my father the creator!
334
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,540
He is the alpha, the omega,
the beginning, and the end!
335
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,240
Well, yeah, but THAT?!
336
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:04,500
What did you expect me
to look like, my son?
337
00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:07,100
Well, not like that!
338
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:10,230
Since it is the end of
the first 2000 years,
339
00:20:10,231 --> 00:20:14,931
I will allow you, my children,
to ask me one question!
340
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,690
- One question?
- Only one?!
341
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:18,920
What should we ask him?
342
00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:21,940
We have to think carefully! We
can ask him anything we want like:
343
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:25,100
"What's the meaning of life?"
or "Why are we here?"!
344
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,300
I have it! I have the question!
345
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,351
Now, you have to
answer me once and for all!
346
00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:33,352
HOW COME I HAVEN'T
GOTTEN MY PERIOD YET!?
347
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:35,880
My child, you are a boy!
348
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:39,180
Boys do not get periods!
That's only for girls!
349
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:42,005
Your friends were bleeding a
little bit out of their asses
350
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:46,250
because of an acute colon infection,
and your friend Kyle simply lied about it!
351
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,420
How'd he know that?!
352
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,420
You will get pubrity
when the time is right,
353
00:20:50,430 --> 00:20:53,800
but you will never have a period
because you are a man... with titties!
354
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,500
Thus speaketh the Lord!
And now, I return to heaven!
355
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:03,060
Hey, wait! That doesn't count
as our question! Does it?!
356
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:06,620
I will answer another on New
Year's Eve in the year 4000!
357
00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:10,980
Did you hear that, everbody?! I'm
not ever S'POSED to have my period!
358
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,180
That's why God wasn't
answering me before!
359
00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:17,980
Boy! I'm sure glad
everything worked out okay!
360
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,900
I guess now we can all
celebrate the New Year, huh!
361
00:21:37,540 --> 00:21:40,000
Let's get'im!
30976
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