Original subtitles

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- So I had Steve work up a spreadsheet.

And as you can see, it's our least popular appetizer.

- Well, goodbye, Fresh Tennessee Shrimp.

You wasn't fooling anybody anyway.

- I want to ask Emmett to come up with something

to replace it with, maybe something plant-based.

- Or maybe something that ate plants when it was a pig.

Ha ha. Okay.

That's great, Isabella. Let's do it.

- Oh, well, now you're just going

to have to come up with another project to keep Steve busy.

- Mm-hmm. - Why?

- Because it's his slow time.

And if he has nothing else to do,

he drives everyone nuts trying to help.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

- I thought it would be fun for you to have someone

follow you and learn your secrets for when you,

you know, pass on.

- You keep it up, and I'll make sure you go first.

Stay.

He's your problem now.

- Emmett's in a mood.

- Steve, we talked about this.

If you don't have any accounting to do,

you don't have to come in. - But I want to.

My therapist said I should use this time

to get out of my comfort zone.

- Yeah, but you're taking everybody else out of theirs.

- Yeah, I think your therapist meant

more out of your comfort zone, as in, more outside.

- My therapist thinks I shouldn't listen

to wannabe therapists.

- He's your problem now.

- Maybe you should think about getting a hobby or something.

- [gasps] Oh, you should take a class in telepathy.

I'm a amateur mind reader myself.

- Really? - Yeah.

Watch this. Mm-hmm. Okay.

All right.

Bobbie, think of a number

between one and 100.

- No. - Ha ha!

Okay, and, Steve, don't say a word

because I know exactly what you're thinking.

Pfft.

And do you know who didn't believe I was psychic?

- You like movies.

Why don't you go to one of those?

Preferably one that lasts about three or four or five hours.

- Mm, no, they're all superhero movies

or TikTok stars or sequels.

Plus, the Reese's Pieces are $9.

- What about this? - Oh.

Local business seeks actors for commercial.

Acting? - Why not?

You always said you put on one-man plays

for your stuffed animals.

- Oh, that's so cute.

I can just picture little eight-year-old Steve

acting for his teddy bears.

- "Eight"? Yeah, that sounds right.

- So, uh, what business is the commercial for?

Ah, don't tell me.

Mm.

Something to do with candy.

- Mel's Mattress Mania.

- And what are the initials?

- M and M.

And M.

- This sounds perfect for you.

- You think so? - I know so.

I mean, something about you just screams drama.

I mean, what would it hurt to go down there and check it out?

- Okay, you convinced me.

I'm definitely going...

to think about it.

- Not in here.

- I'm going to think about it over here.

- ? Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight ?

? To get through the day ?

? And sleep on through the night ?

? But here you'll find a place ?

? That'll surely lift your spirits ?

? You belong at Happy's Place ?

- Hey, Gabby.

The brains of the operation over here

wants me to come up with a new appetizer.

- First of all, I don't hate that nickname.

I just think a new appetizer would be a nice change

for the regulars.

- [scoffs] You want to change something?

Change the regulars.

- Anyway, just a heads-up-

after I'm done fiddling with it,

we're going to need to print up some new app menus.

- Mm-hmm. - All right.

- Whoa, uh, hang on a second. Don't I get to test it first?

I mean, it was my idea.

- Test it?

- Oh, no, she didn't mean test it.

She meant applaud it, like we always do.

Right, huh?

Do it!

- No, actually, I meant test it.

- Okay, whatever.

- What is your game, lady?

Are you one of those adrenaline junkies

that loves to go around poking bears?

- What's the problem? - "What's the problem?"

Did you hear that "whatever"?

That is a man who takes great pride in his cooking.

- I know, which is why he deserves my honest opinion.

- I don't think you understand how pride works.

- Knowing Emmett, he appreciates praise

that's actually deserved.

Maybe I am the brains of this operation.

- So is Isabella going to taste-test

Emmett's new appetizer? - Yep.

- Do we do that here?

- Nope.

- Oh, boy.

- Your fly is down.

[knocking] - It's open.

- Do you know why I knocked first,

instead of just barging in?

- Manners?

- Don't be silly.

I wanted to make an entrance like a true...

actor.

- You went.

- I went. - Oh, congratulations.

When do you start?

How long are you going to be gone for,

like, four or five, six weeks?

- I haven't gotten the part yet.

- Oh, well, we can only hope.

So what part did you read for?

Oh, are you buying a mattress?

Selling a mattress?

Are you the mattress?

- It's Customer Number Two.

He's an insomniac from the Roaring Twenties,

who travels forward in time

to find the perfect night's sleep.

- You sound like a cross between Dracula

and Katharine Hepburn.

- They asked me to send an audition.

We better get started. - "We"?

- Yeah, of course. I need a scene partner.

- Oh, well, Steve, I'd love to help,

but, I mean, I got a lot of work to do.

I've got invoices and inventory.

- Oh, it won't take long, I promise.

Please, Bobbie, I need this.

This is all I've got!

.

- Ready, Bobbie? I need your best effort.

- I'm trying, but we've been at this for hours.

I don't see what was wrong with the last dozen takes.

- You're not giving me anything to work with.

Remember, as the salesperson, you're helpful

but also intrigued by my outdated garments.

- Steve, the whole point of this thing

was to get you out of your comfort zone.

I was fine in mine.

- It's just until I get the part.

Then I'll be on set.

"On set"- I love Hollywood lingo!

Okay. [camera beeps]

Read me in.

And action.

- Hi, there.

Looking for anything in particular?

- Why, yes, I-

Cut!

That wasn't it. [scoffs] That wasn't it.

[sighs]

And action.

- Hi- - Nope.

Not right, not right.

[sighs]

And-

Nope. [groans]

[grunting goofily]

- Don't hit him. Don't hit him.

Don't hit him. Don't hit him.

- Okay, Isabella...

here's your new appetizer...

my version of the armadillo egg.

- Oh, wow, those look incredible.

I mean, you probably don't even have to taste them

to know that they're delicious.

You know what?

Let's go ahead and print up that new app menu right now.

- It definitely looks fantastic.

But people aren't going to be eating with their eyes.

They're going to be eating with their mouths.

- But their mouths will be drunk, so...

- Go ahead. Try it.

- Look at her, huh?

She's in ecstasy. [chuckles]

Get a room! [laughing]

Ah, another home run, Emmett.

- Well?

- It's definitely got a lot going on.

- Mm-hmm.

- But it is a little...

- Perfect? Too good?

So delicious you're speechless?

- Bland.

- Dear God.

- "Bland"?

Did you say "bland"?

- Oh, no, Emmett, she meant the good bland.

You know, not the kind of bland you say when you're crazy.

- Yeah, I did.

- Just so I'm clear- that's the part

that you don't like, right, the bland part?

Less bland is your note?

- Yes, it is.

- Uh-huh.

- Maybe you could fiddle with it a little bit more?

- Maybe bring down the blandness?

- That would be my suggestion.

- [sucking teeth]

- Sad to think your last meal is bland.

[upbeat music]

? ?

- Oh, hey, look, it's Steve's costar.

How's the audition tape going?

- Whiskey.

- That bad, huh?

- He kept stopping the scenes.

He said, I don't know how to lie

while I'm telling the truth.

- I'll make it a double.

- Then he said, I don't know how to tell the truth

while I'm lying.

- Should I get a bigger glass?

- Why in the hell would anybody want to be an actor?

- Well, Steve says that acting allows you

to become a different person.

- I don't want to be a different person.

I like who I am.

At least I did.

- Why don't you let me go in there

and work with him for a bit?

Tell you the truth, I kind of get a kick out of Steve

when he gets like this.

- [laughs] I don't care if that's the truth or a lie.

Just go!

.

- Hi.

You busy?

- I am.

- Well, do you mind if I talk while you work?

- No, I don't mind if you talk while I work.

- If you don't know how much I respect you by now,

then me telling you isn't really going to mean much.

- Uh-huh.

- I respect you enough to tell you

what I truly think about something.

I respect you enough to be blunt.

- Yeah, I got the blunt part.

- Well, what about the respect?

Because if I haven't made that clear to you by now,

then that's on me.

- [sighs]

Taste that.

- Is this another armadillo egg?

- Yeah, I, uh, "fiddled" with it.

- Is it poisoned?

- Taste it.

Please.

- Oh.

Oh, this is- - Be blunt.

- This is fantastic.

What did you do to it?

- Well, the first thing I did was I-

I took out the blandness.

And I upped the chili powder and the minced jalape�o,

but I added just a little bit of brown sugar

to let that heat sneak in there.

- You're a genius.

- I can be when I get pushed.

Tell you the truth,

most of the people around here don't push-

just you and the other guy.

- What other guy?

Steve?

- Steve? Push?

No, uh-uh. I'm talking about your dad.

[sucks teeth]

Happy, uh, was also blunt.

- Are you saying I'm like my dad?

- You are, more than you know.

Only reason this place ever changed was because of him.

And we still need that around here.

- Thanks, Emmett.

Sorry, I'm a hugger.

Wait.

Did my dad hug you a lot, too?

- You know, he was-

he was more of a back slapper, but it meant the same thing.

? ?

- All right, we just need to get the final scene.

- Okay, but I think this is gonna have to be our last take.

- Oh, don't quit on me now.

- I'm not quitting on you. Your phone's about to die.

- Ah...

the allure of a hot light on an empty stage.

It really brings me back to my childhood.

- I didn't know you acted as a kid.

- Well, I was more of a performer, really.

Did some time on the pageant circuit.

I'll tell you this- you don't know pressure

until you're standing in an IHOP parking lot

getting spray-glittered by your mom,

trying to make a real run at Little Miss Milwaukee.

- I, myself, was Little Mr. Bogot�.

I won by dry-cleaning live onstage.

- I was never in a pageant.

- Well, if you need any help,

I could make some suggestions on how to spice it up.

You know, a little spray glitter never hurt...

unless it gets in your eyes...

because your mom started to wave at the cute waiter.

[whimpers]

- Gabby, just because you have nothing to do

it doesn't mean you need to help others.

- Oh.

- Okay.

So, remember, my time portal is closing,

and I can't decide between memory foam or pillow top.

Your character's conviction will determine my fate.

Got it? - Got it.

- And action.

- That one's on sale.

- I'll take it.

Cut!

- Okay, that's it?

- We got it.

Yes!

- Well, now that the stage is empty,

I can show you my pageant talent routine.

Okay, picture me with a hula hoop and a baton,

both on fire.

Keep it moving, Gabby! Keep it moving!

It can't burn if it's moving!

? ?

Boy, Emmett's sure bragging about that new appetizer.

Have y'all tried it? - It's terrific.

- They were a little bland at first,

but we gave him some notes.

- Have you heard from your commercial guy yet?

- I haven't.

They say they're going to call today if I get the part.

So I still got 22 minutes.

Oh, 21.

- Well, they're probably busy because it's Friday

and people like to get new mattresses for the weekend.

- I'm sure that's what it is.

I've been telling Steve, if he just puts out that good energy,

the universe will deliver.

- Hey, Steve, we're going to be acting partners.

The director just called and asked me to audition.

.

- W-what did I say?

- You're auditioning for my part?

- You weren't supposed to be putting out good energy.

Steve was.

- How'd this even happen?

- Well, they heard my voice on the tape,

and apparently I have the perfect voice

for selling mattresses.

- I'm sorry, Steve.

If it makes you feel any better,

I didn't win Little Miss Milwaukee.

[scoffs] They gave it to some tramp

who carved the president's head out of a block of cheddar.

- I didn't know.

Don't worry.

I'm not going to try out for anyone

that doesn't want my best friend, too.

- It doesn't matter.

I'm sick of this business anyway.

They chew you up and spit you out like an old piece of gum!

- That's a little dramatic, isn't it?

- I don't know.

[voice breaking] Apparently, I'm not the person to ask.

? ?

- Wow, you're here late.

- There's only two things I'm good at-

adding numbers and sitting on this stool.

- Oh, come on, Steve. You lost out on one role.

You'll get the next one. - No, I won't.

The skill to be a great actor is rare.

You have to be born with it, like a Streep or a De Niro

or two of the Baldwin brothers.

- Steve, you should be proud of yourself.

You got out of your comfort zone

and tried something that scared you.

- Whoopie.

- Steve, everybody fails.

When I first started here, I was terrified.

- Why?

- Because I'd never managed a bar before.

Those first couple of months were really tough.

I made tons of mistakes.

[chuckles] But I'm so happy I stuck with it.

- [sighs] It's just...

everyone thinks I can be better.

But what if being here,

being the accountant for Happy's

is the best thing I could ever do?

- Do you think it is?

- You know, at some point,

people have to accept their limitations.

Maybe what I need to do is to stop trying to be

something I'm not.

And maybe what I really need is to know

that my friends will accept me and love me just for being me.

- [laughing]

- Why are you laughing?

- 'Cause that's the biggest bunch of bull crap

that ever came out of your mouth.

And you've had some doozies. - What are you talking about?

- You are nowhere near your limitations.

So don't act like quitting is doing something noble.

[dramatically] Love me just for being me.

Gol-ol-ol-ol-ly!

? ?

- Oh, my gosh, this is so good.

But I can't keep eating three of these a day.

- Well, we can put Tennessee Shrimp back on-

you know, just leave out the fresh part.

- Hey, Bobbie.

Is it okay if I come in a little late tomorrow?

- Oh, my gosh, that's right.

Your commercial shoot's in the morning.

- Sure, you can, Takoda.

I just hope Steve's okay with you taking the part.

- I think he is. He's the one that told me to take it.

- Oh.

- Come on, Takoda, we need to start running lines.

- I'm so proud of you for helping him.

- I thought a lot about what you said.

- You did? - Yeah.

I haven't reached my limitations.

I was just looking in the wrong place.

My favorite part of all this was being behind the camera.

I'm not meant to act. I'm destined to direct.

- Steve's going to help me with my performance.

- Aw.

- And we're going to start by not slouching.

- Wow, you're really coming into your own as a director.

- Yes, I was thinking my next project

would be a commercial for Happy's.

- [gasps] That's a great idea. - Ooh.

- Yeah.

- You know, I did some acting in high school.

- That's sweet, but this isn't high school.

I will be holding auditions.

- You've created a monster.

- My work here is done.

[glasses clink]

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