Original subtitles

Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode of Love is on the Air.

Whether you're married, dating, or still looking for that special someone, Nikki

P is here to answer all your burning love questions.

First up, we've got Alicia C in Tucson, Arizona.

Alicia, how was your heart today?

Not great, Nikki.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, hon.

Fill me in. Well, my boyfriend of five years, who I love desperately, just

landed his dream job. Well, Alicia, that's great news.

Two states away.

Okay, I'm starting to see the problem here.

I'm guessing you're not willing to relocate?

I love my job, and I've worked so hard to get to where I am. It just doesn't

make sense for me. But I really think he's the one, and I don't know what to

Long distance scares me. Well, if you're an avid listener of the podcast, then

you know that me and Mr. Right did long distance for two whole years.

You did?

Oh, yeah.

And it was hard, but we made sure that we saw each other at least every two

weeks, and we prioritized communication above all else.

If he really is your Mr.

Right, then nothing will get in the way of you two being together.

Okay, I don't care.

I don't care if he has to send a carrier pigeon, okay?

If he cares, he will make the effort.

But besides, in my experience, distance makes the heart grow fonder. What is

that? Uh, nothing.

Thank you so much for your call, Alicia. More of your questions and my answers

after these short messages.

Nikki. I know, I know. I'm dealing with it, okay? Hold on.

Nikki, what a surprise.

I almost didn't hear you.

Banging and screaming.

What can I do for you?

This can't keep happening.

You storming up here and interrupting my work. I could not agree more.

No, you are interrupting my work. I'm trying to record my podcast.

That's right, your little podcast.

I'll have you know that we have over 5 million subscribers, though it's not

exactly what I would call little.

Well, you know what I have?

A real job. I need to get back to you, so... Who are you? write jingles for

serial companies, your job is no more legitimate than mine.

You know, ever since you've moved in here, I cannot get through one recording

session without you just ruining everything.

I can't, I can't keep living like this. What do you want me to do about it?

Play your piano some other time.

Play my piano?

Play my, play my, oh, at 6 a .m., suit her majesty?

I just need you to be quiet between the hours of 12 and 4 p .m.

Well, you see, that is when my creativity is at its peak.

Can't you just record your podcast some other time?

No, I have listeners across the country. That's the time zone's sweet spot.

Well, then I guess we're out of sale, mate.

Well, I've lived here longer, so I have seniority.

And I happen to know that you have a propane barbecue on your balcony, and it

would be such a shame if the supermarket...

You can have noon to four.

Thank you.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sorry for the interruption, Mike. I am back, and I am ready to roll.

Nikki?

Mike? We need to talk.

May I ask what this is in regards to?

I'll explain over coffee after the show. Got callers waiting. Let's go.

We're back, and we've got Tabitha from Salt Lake City on the line.

Tabitha, what's in your heart today?

Mike. I know what you're going to say, and obviously the noise is not ideal.

Oh, Nikki, I... I know you don't like my setup, but you know how comfortable I

am recording at home. Nikki, honestly, I just... Hear me out.

I've got a solution.

We just kill my neighbor.

I'm kidding.

Obviously, murder's not an option. Who do you think... Nikki!

You podcasters just love the sound of your own voices, don't you?

Oh, well, right on cue.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

Nicky Parsons.

What a pleasure it is to finally meet you.

And you as well, Mr... Nicky, this is Archie Wessel of Wessel Publishing. I'm

Archie Weisel of Weisel Publishing. Weisel.

Oh. As I was about to say, Mr. Weisel here has expressed deep interest in

adapting your podcast to a book.

I'm sorry.

What? Oh, I'm a long -time listener from day one.

I find your advice to be fair, concise, and heartfelt, and to hear the love

story unfolding between you and Mr. Right, well, you can't make that stuff

That's like something straight out of a fairy tale.

So what I'm envisioning is a deep dive into the relationship.

We know that you have thousands of callers calling in every day for advice,

why not give them the inside scoop on how you and Mr. Wright became the power

couple that we all know and love?

We could call it something like finding Mr.

Wright.

I have no words.

This is like a dream come true.

I don't know if you know this about me, but my podcast started out as a weekly

column. I'm a writer at heart.

Oh, I'm well aware.

I've done my research. I've read all of your articles.

You have quite a way with words.

Where do I sign?

Okay, hey, Nikki, let's just pump the brakes a little here. I'm sure Mr.

Weisel would like to go over some of the logistics.

Yes, yes, and thank you for bringing that up, Mike.

As you may or may not know, Weisel Publishing has been my family's legacy

generations.

Therefore, it's very important for me to meet each prospective writer before I

make any commitment.

Get to know them.

I need to make sure that each new prospective member of the Weisel

family is a good fit.

That they can be trusted.

Naturally.

I would like to invite you to join me at my annual writer's meet and greet at my

estate, Martha's Vineyard, this weekend.

Count me in.

Well, it's nothing fancy, just a few prospective writers gathering to share

good food, simulating conversation and general merriment. I love to host.

Oh, I do hope that you enjoy croquet.

Love croquet.

Well, then I think that we are going to get along swimmingly.

Oh, I've got to scoot. I've got another meeting.

Oh, and one more thing. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you bring

along Mr. Wright.

Mr. Wright.

Wright.

Well, if I'm going to sign off on a book about the two of you, I'm going to have

to meet the man in question.

Otherwise, how will I know he's even real?

Did you see that?

I think you were.

Oh, he is going to be so excited. I did. I can't wait to tell him.

A book deal? Can you believe it? You and I were thinking you were going to fire

me. Everything's coming up roses.

Nikki, all roses have thorns.

What are you talking about?

I don't know. Maybe just the fact that Mr. Wright doesn't even exist.

Careful. Someone might hear you.

Look, I have faked Mr.

Wright's existence for long enough. What's one more weekend? Nikki, you

the man.

He's obviously a huge fan. If he doesn't meet him this weekend, he's going to

want him next.

And I don't know if you forgot that this whole deal revolves around your love

story. No Mr. Right, no book deal.

I can't lose this book deal. It's been my dream since I was a little girl.

Not to mention the podcast would have a major boost.

Not helping.

I don't know. I only see one option.

I'm going to have to find a Mr. Right by tomorrow.

You, you, you could be my Mr. Right.

Nikki, he just met me. He knows who I am, and I don't know, just thinking out

loud here, my wife might be opposed to that idea. What good are you?

Think, Nikki, think.

Nikki, they're smart.

I believe in you.

You got one day, and...

It's me, Nikki.

Nikki Parsons?

Japan, huh?

Yeah, that sounds far.

How many kids is that?

Hi, this is Nikki Parsons. I believe you did my teeth cleaning a few years ago.

I just missed you so much. Please, just give me one more chance.

So that's it. I am strictly out of options.

I give up.

Really? No one else?

You heard the part about my dental hygienist, right?

Let me look through my contacts.

I'm sure I could find someone desperate enough to... Ooh, pizza.

Hold on.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Are you okay?

Do I look okay?

Your pizza got delivered to my door again.

You really need to get your buzzer fixed, okay?

You really need to fix your attitude.

She sounds like a man.

Who's on the phone?

Nobody. Thank you for the pizza.

Who's this?

They're fumigating the building. We got kicked out for the long weekend.

Great. Just what I needed.

Yeah. Tell me about it. I'm new in town and I don't have a couch to crash on.

Why am I telling you this? I don't know. Okay. Bye.

Bye -bye then.

Ask him! Ask him! Ask him!

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

Are you kidding me? Why didn't you ask him?

Because I hate him.

Nikki, he needs somewhere to go this weekend. You're both out of options. Now

go! Okay, fine, fine, fine.

Ugh.

Yeah, we were literally just talking.

You are funny. I had no idea you were so funny.

What's going on?

What was in that pizza?

Nothing.

I actually haven't had it yet. I was wondering if you wanted to split it with

because there's just way too much for little old me.

You want to share your pizza with me?

Yep.

Okay. I have a favor to ask you.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Laugh it up. You made up a boyfriend.

Yes. You have a fake boyfriend. That is literally the saddest thing I have ever

heard. I never should have told you. Oh, no, no, no. I won't tell anyone.

It's just really funny.

Okay, well, you can just enjoy sleeping in your car this weekend. Oh, come on.

Out!

Wait!

You can have noon to four.

So you are really desperate, huh?

I'm asking you, aren't I?

If I'm going to do this for you, you have to be nice to me.

Absolutely not.

What?

We can't use this car. This isn't Mr. Wright's car.

Need I remind you that I am Mr. Wright, and this is my car.

Therefore, this is Mr.

Wright's car. What is all that?

Oh, those are clothes I bought you. We're going to return them after the

weekend, so don't spill anything.

What makes you think I would spill anything?

And why can't I wear my clothes?

Mr. Wright is aspirational. He's a successful human rights player who

English literature and is an avid badminton, golf, and croquet player.

Not a disheveled jingle writer who doesn't know how to match his socks.

I can match my socks, thank you. And need I remind you that Mr. Wright isn't

real, right? Of course I know he isn't real. But I have gotten very specific

about him in my podcast.

And if Archie is as big as a fan as he claims, we can't be risking any

inconsistencies.

Covering my bases.

Careful with that.

Do we need all this?

I'll drive.

You have a lot of studying to do.

What is this?

That is everything you need to know about Mr. Wright.

You cannot be serious.

Wow.

So this is how the other half lives, huh?

Okay, so just remember, you need... Wait.

How did you already stain these pants?

It's fine.

Come on. It's nothing. You can barely see it.

Those were not jeans.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

Look at that. What did you do?

How did you not know that you did that? I don't care about the fact that I did

that. You don't care because you're not paying for those pants. They were very

expensive. Well, you shouldn't have...

Nikki,

you made it. I was beginning to worry.

Sorry, car troubles.

And you must be the mysterious Mr.

Wright.

That is me. That's me.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have you both join us.

Come, come, come, come. Come join the rest of the gang.

Thank you.

Now, this is Jack Forrester.

He's an up -and -coming mystery writer.

Rumor has it he's a bit of a Sherlock himself, so all of your secrets will be

revealed eventually.

And that's Dr. Harriet Brown and her husband, Moody Chandler.

No, that doesn't seem right.

I heard Dr.

Brown give a lecture in San Francisco last year, and it absolutely changed my

life. Nikki!

Oh, what a pleasure.

I am a huge fan of your podcast.

Oh. That episode where you helped that couple work through their underlying

resentments after they were forced to move in with their in -laws was truly

inspiring. Thank you so much. That means a lot, especially coming from you. And

this is my husband, Chandler. How are you? Yes.

Of course, how could I forget?

Chandler Moody. Now, you are an Insta -poet, is that right? That's correct.

latest poetry slam performance, Between the Leaves, is going viral as we speak.

Ah, well, we'll have to check that out.

And you must be Mr. Right.

I have goosebumps.

You're exactly as I pictured you.

Ah. Oh, but this is silly. We can't go on calling you Mr. Right all weekend.

We don't even know your real name.

Grant.

Uh, Brickton.

Yeah, uh, Grant Brickton. I come from a long line of Masons.

Interesting.

Well, I look forward to hearing more about that.

Well, I look forward to telling you all more about that.

Well, grab your weapon of choice. We are in the middle of a heated game of

bocce. You know, we actually would love to freshen up a little.

Long drive.

Oh, yes, of course.

Let me give you the grand tour.

Come, come, come.

Nice to meet you all.

Ciao. Toodle -oo.

And this...

will be your room.

Huh. Right. One bed.

For both of us.

Now, I'm going to leave you two lovebirds alone, but I'll see you both

'clock for cocktail hour. Ooh.

Cocktail hour.

So, rock, paper, scissors?

What? No way. I'm taking the bed.

Why should you get the bed?

Because I'm the lady.

Yeah, the lady I'm doing a huge favor for.

Oh, I am so sorry that I dragged you to this gorgeous estate where you're going

to be served five -star meals and surrounded by gorgeous scenery and the

intellectual minds of this country.

And you should be thanking me.

Thanking you? Okay, well, you know what I might do instead of thanking you is go

tell everyone that we're putting on a big charade.

Stop. Fine. We'll alternate.

One night on, one night off.

Alternate.

Okay.

And you know what? Since I'm such a gentleman, I'll even let you have my

name. Wow, chivalry isn't dead.

Yeah, I'm keeping her alive.

So that could have gone better.

Yeah. I'm surprised you don't know your own boyfriend's name.

Yeah, I don't know why. I just always called him Mr. Right.

I created this perfect love story with a perfect man, and it worked.

My listeners responded, and my subscribers doubled.

Everyone loves Mr. Right. He is the perfect man.

Well, he doesn't exist.

Exactly.

Good luck with that.

Ooh, swag.

I love free stuff.

Were you born in a barn?

You have to read the card first.

Let the games begin.

What do you think that means?

I don't know.

Scrabble?

I'm starting us off with a round of refreshing gin rickies in honor of one

favorite novels of all time.

Can anyone guess?

The Great Gatsby.

The Great Gatsby was like my favorite novel in high school.

Oh, thank you.

Is this a first edition Huckleberry Finn? Oh, yes.

That belonged to my husband, actually.

Oh, I didn't know you were married.

Yes, going on 15 years now.

Will he be joining us this weekend? No.

He has business overseas.

Would you excuse me? I'm I'm gonna go check on dinner Nikki

join me Are you coming uh yeah You know what I'll catch

up with you. That's an antique Golden Age Steinway Just don't break anything.

I'm gonna break anything

She's a beauty, isn't she?

Oh, yeah.

Do you play?

I dabble.

Dabble. I didn't get a chance to properly introduce myself.

Jack Forster.

Yeah, no, the mystery writer.

Grant Brixton.

Sorry, I must have misheard. I could have sworn you said Brickton.

What's in this drink?

No, it is Brickton.

It used to be Brickstone, and my grandfather, he changed it a long time

This place is pretty impressive, huh?

Did you see the gift basket?

Yeah. Yeah, pretty swanky stuff.

Hey, did yours come with a note?

Let the games begin.

Yeah.

What do you think that means?

I, uh...

I know what it means. You do?

My sources tell me that this long weekend is more than just a meet and

What are you boys talking about over here?

Harriet and I have it on good authority that this weekend is actually a test.

And there's only one book deal up for grabs.

I'm sorry, one book deal?

Well, then why would he invite us all here?

To assess who the most deserving candidate is. He's very particular about

works with.

So how does that work for the two of you, then?

What do you mean?

Well, you're a couple competing for the same book deal?

Well, in my opinion, and Nikki, I'm sure you can weigh in on this, every

relationship can greatly benefit from a healthy dose of competition.

It helps keep the spark alive.

Harriet and I have a very egalitarian marriage.

Grant, I would love to hear, in your words, how you and Nikki met.

In, um, in my words?

Yes, I followed your relationship from Nikki's point of view, but I think we'd

all love to hear your side.

Yeah, right, of course. Um, well, uh...

Oh, yeah, it was, uh...

It was a warm summer night.

It was September.

Right. One of those hot September nights.

Anyways, I was sitting on a patio having Italian food.

That's right.

Noodles were involved.

Now I remember.

Anyway, there she was.

Just sitting alone at the bar.

The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Couldn't take my eyes off her. I had to go over and talk to her.

Now, this is the best part.

Tell them what you said.

What was that thing I said, sweetie?

Casablanca, honey.

Right. Yes.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

I slept like a log last night.

Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning.

Sorry to interrupt your moment of solitude.

Oh, no.

So, who are you really?

I'm sorry, what?

Sorry to be so blunt.

I'm never my best in the morning.

But, yeah.

Who are you?

Brickstone. I could have sworn you said Brickton.

Right.

Yeah. That.

Okay,

what gave me up?

For one, you keep getting your name wrong.

Sloppy storytelling.

Not to mention when you lie, you pick at your left thumbnail.

Now, don't tell me you're... You're an artist.

A musician, more specifically.

How did you possibly know that?

Every time a song comes on, you play the chords with your left hand like you're

playing a piano. I do.

You do.

Good morning, boys. Yay!

That is very...

Very impressive, Jack, and very bad. Nikki is going to kill me. Don't worry.

Your secret's safe with me.

I don't think anyone else has figured it out.

Well, I'm Luke.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Luke.

So, what's the story?

That's the long and short of it. I just hope that I can pull this off.

Well, don't let my figuring it out worry you.

When you write as many mystery stories as I do, you pick up on a few things.

Good morning, gentlemen.

There she is.

Jack, would you mind if I just grabbed my boyfriend for a quick second?

All yours.

Duty calls.

Good morning, sunshine.

Why didn't you wake me up? You just look so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb

you. I am missing valuable face -to -face time with Archie. How do you think

this makes me look? It doesn't make you look. I hope I'm not interrupting a

lover's quarrel. No.

No? No. We were just arguing about who wrote all of Shakespeare's plays. I

he couldn't have possibly written them all, right? My husband and I argue about

that all the time. We're so cute.

It's just like us, huh?

Or we used to.

Anywho, if everyone is fed and caffeinated, I'd like to invite you to

out on the lawn.

I've got something planned that I know the two of you are really going to

Come, come, come, come.

Hey, hold my hand.

Nothing brightens my day like a game of croquet.

Oh, that rhymes.

Now I'm an insta -poet, too.

I hope you're all ready for some fierce but fun competition.

Well, you should be a shoe -in, Grant, considering your family's annual croquet

tournament. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you all better watch out.

I've never played croquet in my life. What are we going to do?

Sorry. How was I supposed to know we're going to play croquet?

Oh, I don't know. We're at an estate in Martha's Vineyard.

I think it's safe to assume.

Just calm down.

Luckily, croquet is very straightforward.

You just aim for the hoop, hit the ball, and believe in yourself.

Very helpful. Thank you. Come on, lovebirds!

Show us what you're made of!

Just warming up.

Next time, game over.

The hoop.

I know. Aim for the hoop. It's very clear. Thank you. I'm just trying to

you. You're not helping.

That's how it's done.

You know you're supposed to be good at this? I am trying.

Try a bit harder.

Oh, good job.

All right, Nikki, you're up.

Good luck.

Oh.

Nice shot, superstar.

You're throwing me off my game. Yeah, what game?

A clean shot, yeah.

Oh, well done.

We're so far behind. He owns the house. What do you expect? What does that have

to do with anything?

Hoop. Hoop. Aim for the hoop. The hoop.

Aim for the hoop.

Can't get any worse, right?

It's warming up. Yeah.

Just a bit rusty. Just a little bit.

Warming up.

Nick did, Archie. I'm sure we can all agree that Grant can have a do -over.

Thank you, Archie. Thank you.

Say, Grant, at the family Thanksgiving tournament, who are you?

The turkey?

Say, Grant, how many tournaments have you won?

Enough. Yeah.

Yeah, obviously.

Just a little off today.

Just a little off.

Oh! Grant!

Oh, what?

Don't take me down with you. I'm not taking you down. You are taking me down.

Are you not?

Oh,

oh, sweetie.

Oh, yeah, it's that call, the important lawyer phone call with the human rights

officer guy.

You know what, guys? I'm just going to take this, proceed on without me, and

I'll be back.

Wow, trouble in paradise.

I'm going to go.

Yeah.

His phone wasn't even... Ooh, there you go, darling.

Hey.

Hey, look, Nikki, I don't think I can do this. Okay. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

Okay. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I mean, aren't we supposed to be this

like perfect couple? I know. Okay. I am just stressed out and everything is

falling apart. And maybe you were right. Maybe it was crazy to think this could

work.

We should just cut our losses and go home.

Just wait, wait.

We've come this far.

We may as well see it through.

We can do this.

You think?

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we can't convince them that I'm any better at croquet.

That's baseball.

Croquet is like this. Whatever.

But we can convince them that we're in love.

Yeah.

Yeah, we can do that.

We can do this.

We've got to be a team.

Deal.

Is everything all

right with you two?

Yes, we are so sorry about that. We just got a little carried away.

Work's been very stressful for Grant. A lot of human rights issues.

And I know how important this weekend is to Nikki, and I guess I just cracked

under the pressure.

Well, just the fact that you put your own work aside to be here for her is a

real testament to your relationship.

The key is to listen and to not place any blame.

To remember that we are on the same team.

Am I a lucky man or what?

Hey, I'm going to go for a walk. You want to come?

Uh, hey, Grant.

I was hoping we could finish our conversation on the Galveston Treaty and

that'll affect world peace on a global scale.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Vicki, Vicki, Vicki. Hey, hey, wait up.

Hi. I thought you were exhausted.

Well, I was until Chandler wanted to talk about some human rights treaty.

Oof. Good call.

You couldn't have just made Mr. Wright like a fireman or something?

Well, to be a fireman, you'd have to be up before noon every day.

How dare you?

I've been up before noon.

Okay. Once.

Because I'm the one doing all the work here.

People are asking questions, and I don't know what I'm supposed to tell them

anymore. I have to keep making up excuses.

We can't let them know that we're eavesdropping.

Why are we eavesdropping?

If I can gather some intel, then maybe it'll give me a leg up on the book deal,

you know?

Seems manipulative, but okay.

And there's a mystery writer. He's starting to suspect, I can tell. It

very, very nervous.

No, don't hang up on me. Don't you dare hang up on me.

I am, because I am upset. Does that mean nothing to you?

Where?

Where? Where? Down.

I'm down.

Where are you taking me?

Stop. Stop.

What are we doing?

Of course your pants are ruined again.

Oh, and whose fault is that, James Bond?

Oh, wow.

These are beautiful.

Look at all these orchids.

Yeah. Wow. You know, Archie isn't messing around. These things are

Yeah.

But can you please stop pawing at them?

I'm not pawing at them, thank you. I just don't want you to break anything.

Why do you always think I'm going to ruin everything?

I didn't do that. You did that.

Okay, I just want to get through this weekend without any disaster.

Oh, no, no, no. Wow.

Oh, no, no, no. Looks like I'm not the one we've got to worry about. No, no,

Help me.

Oh, I thought I heard voices in here.

Hi, Archie. We were admiring your beautiful orchid collection. Oh, yes.

They're like my babies.

My husband and I have been collecting them for years.

And this one.

This is so unique.

Oh, yes.

This is the golden moon orchid. You can only find it in India.

It's very rare.

Legend has it, if tended properly, it can bring you fortune and prosperity.

Well, you must be taking very good care of it then.

I got it at the annual orchid auction.

That's where I met my husband.

We were in a bidding war, and we decided to share custody.

These are all worth a small fortune, but this one is priceless to me.

A small fortune? No, no.

Oh, I've got to take this. Excuse me.

Okay. It's going to be fine, okay?

Just go find another pot, and I'm going to salvage as much soil as I can. Okay?

Okay.

Are you blind?

We can't use this pot. He's going to know. He's not going to know.

You heard him. These are his babies.

You need to calm down.

I'm never going to get this book deal now.

Look, it's going to be fine, okay? Watch, watch, watch, watch.

You put that in there.

Let's see.

No, it's good. It's good.

See?

Good as new.

He's going to know.

Look, if it's alive, then what's the difference, okay?

Come on.

You know what?

You just need to get your mind off of this, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Okay.

Mr. Rice is an excellent badminton player.

Obviously.

So how about we go over the basics and take it from there?

Why don't we just hit the birdie, huh?

Okay.

I don't want to go over the rules first, like how to serve properly. I'm just

trying to avoid a whole other croquet disaster.

You know, I think I got this.

All right.

We'll start off slow.

Be good with your luck.

I believe in badminton terms. That's what they call a winner.

Yeah, I coached in high school, college.

Badminton's kind of my thing.

You coached badminton?

Came in handy just now, didn't it?

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want to ruin the opportunity to take that smug look off your face.

You are just... Amazing.

I know.

You two up for a game of doubles?

Maybe you redeem yourself?

What? He knows I'm kidding.

Right, Grant?

Yeah, you betcha.

Let's spin for serve. Yep.

What? Oh, that sucked. Let's go.

I'll take the back.

You got that.

No, no, no.

Got that one?

The teamwork, the silent communication, the athleticism.

See, that is what makes a power couple.

And a valiant effort from Harriet. And Chandler, too. A game well played by

You should see me play them when my wrist isn't acting up.

No one likes a poor loser, Chandler.

Now, the winning couple, I'm going to gift you with a real treat.

Something that helps me gain a new perspective.

Congratulations.

Thank you, Archie.

Oh, no, no, no. You earned it. You deserve it. Now, come, come, come. Let's

go get cleaned up for dinner.

Hearing about your dynamic is one

thing, but to see the two of you in action, that was something to behold.

Archie, you're too kind.

No, no, no, no, no. You have to give yourself credit.

Relationships can be hard.

But you two seem to have something really special here.

I can tell by the way you two look at each other. Well, it's not always easy.

mean, she can be pretty stubborn and kind of bossy, and sometimes when she

doesn't have things just right... But, um... But it's her

heart that always wins me back.

She's just got this really special soul.

Oh.

You two must think I'm a silly old fool, but I'm a hopeless romantic.

I'm a sucker for love.

I'm going to go and I'm going to round up the rest of the gang.

Iggy, I have such a good feeling about you.

A special soul? I don't know, okay? I was put on the spot. Besides, I'm not

writer here.

Well, either way, I think you bought it.

I think you did.

I just don't understand how you can say that he's derivative.

He's one of the most original authors of our time. Oh, give me a break.

His prose are ripped directly from the pages of Tolstoy.

Harriet has a valid point.

Now, Nikki, you've been silent for this entire debate. I'm sure you have some

insights for us.

I haven't.

read this particular book, so I don't have any opinions to share on

said piece.

Oh. Well, perhaps you could share with us some of the books that have

you over the past few years.

Oh. I would have to say The Parisian Rendezvous.

Yeah. I also love the Four Seasons of Lola Mae.

I like romance.

Romance. How adorable.

Right.

Well, actually, romance is one of the top grossing literary genres in the

Well, I don't mind admitting that I, for one, cannot resist a good romantic

story every now and then.

I mean, we all need a little escapism, right? Yeah, I was just going to say how

much I adore the genre.

I love Pride and Prejudice.

Speaking of romance, Grant, I would love to hear more about your love story with

Nikki. Yeah.

What would you like to hear?

When was the first time you said, I love you?

Well, I wanted it to be special.

I take the words, I love you, very seriously.

And so I waited.

And waited and waited.

Until I knew I was sure.

Until I knew it was real.

But there was no denying it.

I was head over heels, and I needed her to know.

And so one afternoon, I snuck into her apartment, and I filled the room with

favorite flower.

Lily's.

And I got her favorite pizza from the place on the corner.

Pepperoni, onions, mushrooms, and extra cheese.

And as soon as he walked in, I just knew.

He didn't have to say the words. His actions said it all.

It was just another night at home.

Just the two of us.

But this time was different.

Because this time it was real.

Yeah.

It was just the two of us and thousands and thousands of flowers.

To true love.

To true love.

To true love.

Well...

Now I'd like to invite you all to join me in the home theater downstairs

in honor of our own happy couple.

We will be screening Casablanca.

It's your turn to take the bed tonight, remember?

Oh.

I'm already fed up. I've got all my stuff.

It's not so bad. You keep the bed.

Thank you.

Yeah.

What are you writing?

Uh, nothing, really.

Uh, okay, well, um, every once in a while when a song, lyric, or idea pops

my head, I just jot it down.

Ah, you mean for one of your jingles.

No, not for one of my jingles.

Believe it or not, I actually had greater aspirations for myself at one

I'm a songwriter.

Folk, specifically.

That's so cool.

Is there anything I would have heard?

Well, I sold a couple songs a few years ago, but the industry can be pretty

inconsistent, and so I picked up jingle writing to make ends meet, and I don't

know. guess that took up so much of my time that the songwriting just kind of

fell to the wayside. So to answer your question, probably not.

Can I read some?

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know how good it'll be without the music, you know,

why not?

This is like poetry.

Thanks.

Yeah, I mean, I've got the words. I just need to let the music come to me now.

Seriously, Luke, you've got a gift.

You should perform this, you know, get it out there.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, I'm not a performer. I'm just a songwriter.

Well, I don't know about that. You put out quite the performance tonight.

That was pretty good, huh? Yeah.

Because I'm tapping into my inner Mr. Right.

How did you know

that lilies are my favorite flower?

Oh. I don't know. I guess I just noticed that every Sunday,

without fail, you come back from the farmer's market with an apple strudel.

And a bouquet of fresh lilies.

So I just put two and two together.

Aren't you observant?

Yeah, living upstairs from someone you pick up on a thing or two.

Oh, yeah?

What else have you noticed?

Well, uh, judging from the amount of takeout that you order, you either hate

cooking or are very bad at it.

Correct on both counts.

Oh, you put onions, and mushrooms on your pizza, which tells me you have no

taste.

Hey! I'm just telling it like it is.

Oh, and every Friday night, instead of going out with your friends, you have a

slumber party with your niece, which tells me that you put family above all,

you have a big heart.

Or do you mean a special soul?

Yes. It's my heart.

What have you picked up about me?

Oh, you mean besides the loud footsteps and the incessant jingle playing?

That's the obvious, yeah.

Well, I know you subscribe to the Boston Voice and the Massachusetts

Independent, which makes me think you have an interest in current events and

politics. Correct.

You also subscribe to Beautiful Botany, which makes me think you have a bit of a

green thumb.

I may have a pretty expensive herb garden.

Oh, and every Saturday morning you make yourself the full breakfast.

I mean, I'm talking pancakes and bacon, the worst.

The smell is intoxicating.

You can smell that.

Mm -hmm.

Maybe when we're back in the city you should come over and I'll make you my

famous French toast.

I'd like that.

We should get some sleep.

Yeah.

Yeah, big day tomorrow.

Mm -hmm.

Good night, Luke. Good night, Nikki.

Hello? Hello, updates here, please. I'm going crazy.

Are you calling me in the middle of the night?

It's 10 .30.

Oh, really?

Man, time feels like it doesn't exist here.

Well, so you're actually having fun.

Yeah. I mean, it's been stressful, but good overall.

Wow, so you're actually pulling this off, then.

Was there ever any doubt?

Yeah. Yeah, no, many doubts, yeah. Well, thank you for the vote of confidence.

Well, a bit of a crazy scheme, and this guy's a bit of a wild card.

It was a bit of an adjustment period, but we talked it out, and it turns out

make a pretty good team.

No, no, no, no, no. Nikki, don't do this.

Don't do what?

You're totally falling for this guy.

No, I'm not.

You got that twinkle in your voice.

Voices don't twinkle.

You know what I mean.

Nikki, this isn't good, okay? You understand that this is...

that he's not actually Mr.

Right, right?

Mike, I have got this under control.

I understand that, Matthew. I do, I understand.

But you're my husband, and I wanted you here. No, Nikki, wait. Nikki.

But if you could just put yourself in my position for one... I miss you.

Fine.

Fine, we can talk about it in the morning

What are we doing on a boat?

I just needed to get away.

Something happened.

Oh, no.

Someone on to us?

No. No one knows.

Except for Jack.

What? What? Uh, what?

Jack knows. No.

Luke! Okay, yes, but I didn't say anything to him, okay? He just sort of

it out.

Everything is falling apart.

No, it's not, okay?

Jack's a nice guy. He's not going to say anything.

What happened?

I was up late last night and I heard these voices upstairs and I went and I

might have eavesdropped on Archie arguing with his husband.

Who's alive, by the way.

So wait, you just overheard some things you weren't supposed to? What's the big

deal? He caught me.

What did he say?

Nothing. I just froze and I was like, okay, bye.

And I ran away.

Well, that's one way to handle things.

He looks really upset.

I feel like I messed everything up.

Look, all you need to do is apologize.

No. He wants nothing to do with me, okay? He basically ran away from me this

morning. Well, what choice do you have?

Throw myself off this boat.

Or you could face it head on.

I mean, you help people deal with their interpersonal relationships for a

living. Maybe you could help turn this whole thing around for him.

You're right.

I'm going to go talk to him.

You're really good at this advice stuff, Tina.

I learn from the best.

Permission to enter?

Nikki. I really wanted to apologize about last night.

There's absolutely no need.

No, it was a total invasion of your privacy, and I should have known better.

And I shouldn't have been so evasive this morning.

I'm not behaving like myself lately.

Obviously, there's been some tension between my husband and I.

Well, no pressure, but if you want to talk about it...

I'm all ears.

You are so sweet.

But I wouldn't want to impose. No, no, not at all.

I mean, this is kind of what I do.

I'd be happy to help if I can.

Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get a professional point of view.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am...

Very proud of Matthew for striking out on his own and starting his own company.

But with him being in London half the year, I can't help but feel...

Abandoned. Exactly.

I mean, it's difficult when the dynamic in any relationship shifts.

Your husband taking on this new venture has become his priority.

Whereas in the past, you were always his priority.

Yes.

We have to understand that he's entitled to put himself first.

And forgive me for saying it, but maybe it's your turn to

prioritize people and others as well.

Maybe it was unfair to expect him to fly all the way back here for a weekend.

He is working so hard, and I really am so proud of him.

Then show him.

How? You're saying that he's always shown up for you in the past?

Maybe it's your turn to show up for him.

We should probably go and join the others.

Yeah, we should.

Huh.

What's that?

I could have sworn that pot was Paracasa.

Yeah, about that.

Oh, well, it looks stunning in blue.

Oh, Grant, you are a renaissance man.

Is there anything you can't do?

Well, my croquet's pretty bad.

And he's funny, too.

Nicky, you are one lucky woman.

Sorry. Well, Nicky, I think we have something to get to, don't we?

Oh, yes, yes.

And we will go and fetch the pilot. Come, come, come.

For our badminton winners.

Well, this is it.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Can

you

believe this? This is insane.

I can't remember what it's like.

To hold one you love by your side.

Should I open it?

I'm going to open it.

Open it. I'm opening it.

It's nice and chilled.

I have never had champagne.

You're joking.

I've never once had champagne. You've never had champagne. I'm not fancy.

Well, I feel like you should pop it then if you've never had it. Why don't you

teach me? Do you know how?

No.

Show me.

Oh!

Oh, my gosh. I hear your heart attack.

Oh, my gosh.

Bubbly? No, please.

Bubbly?

So kind. So kind.

So the music finally came to you, huh?

The piano.

Yeah, I guess it did.

What does it feel like playing for an audience?

Well, it helped that I didn't know I had one.

You were so talented.

Clearly everyone agrees.

Thanks.

You know, I've actually been thinking about our conversation yesterday, and I

think you're right.

Life's too short not to do what you love.

Does that mean you're going to stop writing jingles?

Well, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

No,

I can't quit just yet, but I am going to devote more time to my songwriting.

You know, maybe try out some open mics.

Well, know that you'll have at least one fan in the audience.

That's good to know.

You know, I gotta say, you've kind of inspired me.

I mean, you've found something that you love, that you clearly have a talent

for, and you've made a career out of it.

A very successful one at that.

Do I detect a... Touch of sincerity in your voice.

Well, don't let it get around because it'll ruin my reputation.

Well, I have to admit, I didn't always set out to do this.

I was just that friend you'd always go to whenever you needed advice.

Because what I really wanted to be was a writer.

So when I got my first job working at a newspaper and they asked me what my

strengths were, it was just the first thing that came to mind.

So if you wanted to be...

A writer?

How did you get into podcasting?

Hmm, that's a funny story.

So my now producer, Mike, he had written in asking for advice on how to propose

to his now wife, Angela.

He's kind of hopeless when it comes to romance.

And so when she said yes, he was just so happy. He just offered me the podcast.

Fate works in mysterious ways.

It does, doesn't it?

Anyway, podcasting has been such a dream.

It's way more personal, and I get to build a dialogue with my listeners and

the emotions behind their questions.

It's got to be tough, though, isn't it? I mean, helping people through their

problems all day long?

No, no, I actually really like it.

Helping people feels good.

A lot of my listeners call in when they're at their most vulnerable, when

put their trust in me.

The least I can do is give up my own life.

Nikki,

what's the holdup?

I'm coming.

I just, I can't get this clasp done up.

What?

Uh, nothing. You just... You look really nice.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Do you mind?

Oh, yeah.

My pleasure.

I think it's safe to say you pulled it off.

Well, it's not over yet.

After seeing you together this weekend, no one in this house would believe

you're not a real couple.

Yeah.

Put on a pretty good show, didn't we?

I'm not convinced it was all a show.

What are you getting at there, Perot?

Don't make me spell out what you already know.

Okay, okay, you got me.

Again, but...

And how do I know it's real for her, too?

By using your eyes?

Trust me, she feels the same way.

No, see, you don't get it.

This perfect man she created, he is the antithesis of what I am. He's polished,

he went to Harvard, he wears cardigans.

What if she's just developed feelings for the man that I'm pretending to be?

The first step in solving any mystery is to go to the source.

What? Talk to her.

Fine.

You win.

I know.

You're a man, Mystery.

Mickey, come.

Sit with me.

You wanted to see me?

Yes.

So, how do you think this weekend went?

Do you see yourself as a good fit for Weissel Publishing?

Uh, well, I think this weekend went really well.

As for whether or not I'm a good fit, wouldn't that be your decision to make?

I think it's a two -way street.

Well, then... Yes.

Yes, I think I'm a great fit.

So do I.

You do?

Does that mean I've got the book deal?

Welcome to Weissel Publishing, dear.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, my gosh.

I'm so excited.

Well, I'm excited to have you on board.

Oh, and that reminds me. I am having a charity event on my yacht next month,

I would like you to be there.

I have some people I want you to meet.

Yes, I would love to.

Oh, and you'll have to bring Grant, of course. It wouldn't be the same without

him. Of course.

We'll both be there.

Splendid.

Nikki, hey.

There you are. Look, I have something to tell you. Thank you.

Say hello to Weissel Publishing's newest author.

You got it. I got it. Oh, my God.

It's amazing.

It's all thanks to you. Oh, no.

I can't take any credit.

Maybe a little.

This is amazing.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Oh, and next month he's planning this huge event and he wants the book to be

there. Yeah, it's going to be a huge networking opportunity.

Right.

Well, you mean he wants you and Grant to be there, right?

Yeah. I mean, if that's okay.

Well, I don't know, Nick. I didn't really sign up to play your fake

forever.

Well, no, it wouldn't be forever.

It would just be for this one event.

And then what?

I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead.

Well, maybe you should. I mean...

Maybe it's time you start thinking about something other than yourself.

Whoa.

I thought this weekend went so well. I thought we were having a good time.

We were, we were, we were, okay? But that's just... Maybe that's part of the

problem.

See, I don't want to be your fake boyfriend anymore.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that I have feelings for you.

And I think you share those feelings, too.

But what I don't know is if those feelings are for me or for Grant

Brickton. Whatever, Nikki.

Come on.

Okay.

This is, like, a lot to take in right now.

Obviously, I am having feelings for you.

But I just, I never imagined when I invited you that there would be this

chance that this could turn into something real. Of course, neither did

but... I mean, is it?

Is it real?

I don't know.

But the only way this works is if you stay great.

If we tell the truth, then I lose everything.

Well, I can't ask you to do that.

Luke?

I'm just... I'm gonna go.

It's okay.

I'm gonna go.

Well, what am I gonna tell everyone?

I don't know.

You're the writer.

You'll think of something.

Good morning, Nicky.

Good morning, everyone.

Where's Grant?

Oh, he had to leave late last night.

Really?

What pulled him away?

A work emergency.

It's confidential.

Interesting.

You know, I just saw Archie in the gardens looking for you.

Oh.

He said you and him needed to have a little chat.

Well, um, excuse me then.

Hi, Archie.

I found this note under my door this morning.

It's from Grant.

Or should I say Luke?

R .C., I can explain. There's no need.

Mr. Wright explains everything in the note.

I have to say, Nikki, I'm extremely disappointed.

I thought we'd built a trust here.

I'm not going to deny any of this.

I respect you too much to lie to you anymore.

I understand that we cannot work together anymore, and I...

I'm very sorry for wasting your time.

I'll show myself out.

How did I not see it?

Am I really that blind?

Don't be so hard on yourself. They were very convincing.

I just feel so foolish.

I've invested so much time in a relationship that turns out to be a

I wouldn't say that the entire relationship was a sham.

What do you mean?

Well, sure, it started off as a scheme to secure her book deal.

But in the end...

Don't you think they're both walking away with something far more valuable?

Love.

But if he loved her, how could he betray her like this?

I'm not sure that he did.

Oh.

Archie knows everything?

Yep.

And I'm assuming everyone else at the estate knows as well?

I think it's safe to assume, yes.

Well, this isn't great.

I know. I'm sorry. It started off really well, and then I just ruined

everything.

Not only did I lose the book deal, but now I'm at risk of being exposed to the

fraud.

Why don't we...

Come clean on the podcast. You can expose yourself.

I can't do that.

Why not?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I'm going to lose the trust of all my

The network will pull the podcast, and then both of our lives will completely

fall apart.

Listen, Nikki, as your producer, yeah, it's a bit of a risk. But as your

I mean, come on. I think it's time we lose this whole Mr. Right thing.

For years, you've sacrificed your love life for this facade.

Sometimes I don't know if you're doing it for the podcast or if you're doing it

because you're scared.

I'm not scared.

I just know what I want, and I don't think it's out there.

Do you know what you want?

What about Luke?

My point exactly. I think that I finally found something real, and then the

moment things get hard, he just lets me down.

I mean, people come to me because I have figured out the secret to a perfect

relationship.

Perfect man didn't exist.

No, you're wrong about that.

People come to you for your heartfelt advice on their complicated, messy, real

relationships.

Something you should probably have, too.

Archie, hi.

Hello, Nikki.

Mike, what a pleasure to see you.

May I?

Please come in.

I'll cut straight to the chase.

Upon further reflection, I would like to reinstate your book deal.

You would?

Yes. You have the power to help people, Nikki.

I've seen it firsthand.

After our talk, I've decided to join my husband in London.

You were right.

Relationships are about give and take, and it's about time that I started

back for once.

Well, that's wonderful, Archie, but I lied to you.

Mr. Wright may have been a fiction, but over this past weekend, I think I've

seen your real story unfold before my very eyes.

Oh. No, um, Luke and I aren't. Nikki, you may be the relationship expert, but

I've got a few years on you, and I know a real thing when I see it.

Luke doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

I mean, he basically tried to ruin my career, so... Oh, Luke didn't write that

letter. Chandler did.

I'm sorry. I probably should have led with that.

I've got to go. I've got to catch a flight.

Nikki.

Arcee, thank you.

No, thank you.

And may I be so bold to offer you a little relationship advice?

Go get him.

No!

waiting for? Go! Go get him!

Hi.

Hi.

I'm looking for Luke.

Oh, I'm sorry. He's not here right now.

Sorry. I'm Nancy.

I'm the realtor. Are you here for the showing?

The showing?

Of the apartment.

He's moving?

Yes.

So no showing then?

No. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Okay.

He's gone. I have no idea where he is. I have no idea how to get a hold of him.

What do I do?

You can chime in here anytime you want, Mike.

I think I have an idea.

Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode of Love is on the Air.

I'm Nikki P, and I'm here to answer all your burning love questions.

This week's episode is going to be a bit different because the love problem we

are going to be solving is mine.

And before I dive in, I just wanted to say how grateful I am that you've

me to guide you through the ups and flows of your relationship.

And I want to reassure you that all of my advice came from the heart.

But I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you about my own

relationship or lack thereof.

And the reason why I am coming clean today.

is because I feel like I have found my real Mr. Right.

He's nothing like what I've described over the years. He wears graphic tees

mismatched socks.

And he's not a human rights lawyer with a penthouse or a fancy car. He's

an artist.

He challenges me.

He makes me laugh.

He's nothing like what I've imagined.

He's so much better than all of that.

Anyway, I understand if I have lost some of your trust.

I deserve that. My love story is perfect.

And neither am I.

But I hope over time I can still prove to you that I am worthy.

And maybe, like in all relationships, hopefully we can use this experience to

help us grow.

Well, it's official.

Yesterday's episode was our highest rated yet.

And it's been 24 hours and still nothing.

Maybe he just didn't see it.

Or maybe he did, and he still wants to have nothing to do with me.

Don't. Don't do that. Don't lose hope just yet.

Hello. Hi.

I'm working on showing more empathy.

All right. I'll, uh, see you later.

Luke.

Hey.

Wait,

how did you get into my apartment?

Oh, I may have gotten a little help from Mike.

No.

So you listened to the podcast. What podcast?

Yeah, I listen to the podcast.

So is this your way of saying that you forgive me?

No.

This is my way of saying that I love you.

I got this feeling, I can't describe This magic in the air, the world has

alive And when I see you, you make my pulse rise I never knew that I

could be so hypnotized I still feel nearly your touch, baby The way your

body's moving me And I don't know where this soul will go,

oh no

I've never fallen in love so deep.

I trip, I fall. I just can't find my feet.

If I don't try now, this camp will slip away.

I'll bury all my doubts and I won't be afraid to do this.