Original subtitles

Is she willing, Jane Bond?

Your private fantasy, Jane Bond?

What you just saw was a prim married school teacher sexually assault one of

teenage students.

The student belonged to us, but believe me, the teacher was quite genuine.

I've been told that when he left her, she started humping one of the

pointers. Are you trying to tell me one of those laser guns would actually turn

a pretty little lady like that into a noob?

Just like that?

You saw it on the screen, did you not, Mr. Rojos? That gun was developed in my

laboratory and releases estrogen and other hormones in a woman's body to an

incredible level.

Shit, that thing hasn't the level.

I know quite a few guys that would pay big, big bucks for them.

I suggest you leave that heavy thinking to me, Rojos.

Do you think I'm going to settle for a few payments from dirty old men when I

can terrorize entire cities with these lasers?

Can you imagine what would happen to a small city if even a twentieth of their

female population were reduced to sex -crazed animals?

Distortion. City governments would pay millions to be spared the kind of damage

I could do.

Where do I come in?

You and your Colombian family will target a certain city with these lasers.

Three or four hundred women in a large downtown area should be sufficient to

start with.

Your cut will be generous.

And if you decide to go into business for yourself with these lasers, I'll see

that your wife and female children get an especially large dose no matter how

well you protect them.

Look, Dr. Pricky, let's get something clear.

I never fucked anybody over in my life that you haven't come into, okay? So

don't you make any threats, you slant -eyed bitch.

I'm just reminding you how dangerous these lasers are for those who don't use

them properly.

Tiffany?

Release him, Baron.

And just to show you there are no hard feelings, I thought you might like to

the gun yourself on one of our new recruits.

This is Tiffany.

But first, let's discuss terms and conditions.

Okay.

I love you.

Oh, yes.

This better be important.

It is.

Metro Police found a school teacher half out of her mind trying to hump half the

student body at her school.

So? They were in the fifth grade, and her hormone levels were up in the

stratosphere.

She kept mumbling about a laser gun.

Does this sound familiar?

Octopussy.

So, she's finally decided to surface, huh?

We're going to implement Operation Nympho immediately.

Your contact in place will be agent codename Tiffany. You can pick up all

info at the usual drop.

And Jane, if you're able to destroy these guns, would you?

Save one for you.

Well, you know, scientific research and all.

Goodbye, Control.

Scientific research, my ass.

They're all alike.

This is one toy nobody's going to get their hands on.

Nobody.

You've come highly recommended, Miss Fairchild.

Madame Claudine said that you were one of her very best girls.

Piece of cake, my folks.

I love to fuck.

I'm glad to hear that. Said it would be very important that you lead certain

women into acts of public lewdness and debauchery.

debauchery just happens to be my middle name.

When do we start?

We start right now.

Oh, yes.

You won't be needing any toys.

Not when you got a real gun like it is.

Highly qualified was born.

Oh, God.

I love you.

You're going to get a hard -on in the next ten minutes, honey.

They

told

me they'd be infiltrating you into Octopussy's organization.

Best agent since Mata Hari.

Yeah, except Mata Hari got shot.

So what's the layout here?

Yeah, the layout.

You're the agent in place, and I need to know what I'm up against.

For instance... Jane, I'm not an agent. I'm just a glitch.

A what?

I'm the product of a computer error.

My job with the agency is in G4 working as a filing clerk.

The computer has me down with someone else's qualification.

I told them it was a mistake, but they said computers don't lie.

You're a fucking file clerk.

No, Jane.

Believe it or not, I'm still a virgin.

Only not for long, they're giving me away to some Colombian boss for some

of an experiment.

Oh, Jane, what am I going to do?

Well, first I'd call in and request another backup for me.

Then?

Study up on your Spanish.

Who knows, after he pops your cherry, he might want to adopt you.

It's hard to believe that the mind that invented it belongs in a body like

yours.

Brains and beauty serve us both, Octopussy.

And Jane Bond.

Why mention her?

Certain sources have warned me that she's been activated.

You know the agency that's so secret it has no initials?

Well, they may know of our plans.

No details, of course. But they'd use Bond to fill in the details.

And what would the Baron say if he knew of our plans?

For this?

Don't even think about it until the time is ripe.

If the men in this compound even suspected what we have in store for

they'd snap your pretty neck like a match.

And I wouldn't want that to happen to my darling Lisa.

Hmm.

Thank you asking for this.

Would you come sit over here?

You have served me very well, Lisa.

And now I'm going to reward you.

I'm going to make you feel so wonderful.

Oh, yes.

Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh

-huh.

Mwah.

your other toy.

Oh, yes, please.

Look what I have for you.

Oh.

Oh,

give it to me.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah, it does.

Uh -huh.

Give it to me. Give it to me. Uh -huh.

Oh, I like it.

I like it. I love it.

Oh,

fuck me with it.

Oh, fuck me with it.

I

can't

hear you.

How much do you like it? Oh, I like it a lot.

Yeah? I like it a lot.

Don't you?

Don't you love it? You're a nasty little girl, aren't you? I'd love to be fucked

by you.

I'd love to be fucked.

Don't you?

I'd love to be fucked by you.

I'd love to be fucked by you.

Yes. Very nice. Very nice.

Okay.

I can't hear you.

Do I do it harder? Give it to me. Put more in.

Harder? Put more in. More?

Uh -huh. That much? More.

Yes.

Yes. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. Oh, baby, come on.

Baby, come on. You like to be fucked, don't you? Uh -huh. And you love it.

I just want to talk to you about your future.

My future is losing my virginity.

You're a virgin?

That's incredible.

Watch. I'll prove it.

Sit down.

Oh, yes.

Craig,

get rid of that thing.

Okay.

Now look what you've done.

I've got to go look for the flashlight thing now.

What was that all about?

I hope I don't find out.

That's okay.

I think you're awful.

And I have to lose her sometimes, so...

I sure like the way you put it together.

Oh.

I want to show you how to do a colonial style.

Look, my love.

Take off your clothes.

I want to suck that big cock of yours.

Oh, how rich!

Oh, bite it, yes.

Oh, you're

so tiny.

Oh, baby.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

I just kind of... Give me the chair.

Come on.

Take these clothes.

Come on. Take these off. Why?

This is a big mistake.

I don't really know where I am. What is this place anyway? Take off this.

Come on. All right.

Come on. I want to get you locked up now.

When me and Inga gets done with you, You'll be telling us more than we want

hear. But first, we fuck.

We bend off with one of those rear guns, and if we don't get it every few hours,

we go crazy.

Well, if you insist.

We insist.

We give you a ten -minute break.

Yeah?

The last guy helped out for four and a half hours.

Four and a half hours

What is that for?

Not like this.

Oops.

Oh,

look inside.

Yeah, like you're sucking my cock.

Do everything.

Yeah.

Yeah, I want to fuck you.

Huh? Girls want to get naked too, huh?

I'd like to fuck you both.

We're going to let you go and we're going to let you fuck us. Yeah?

Yeah. Do you think we should fuck them?

Well, just for a little bit.

Oh, come on. You got more time than that, don't you?

Huh? Yeah, four and a half hours at least.

Right?

Now you're gonna eat my pussy.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Fucks me ass.

Can I sit on your lap?

Oh, yeah, you sit on it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, this will make him suck.

Oh, you're like a fucking elf.

Let's go.

Just like this.

Don't get dressed on my account, Wheaty.

Wake up, bright -eyed. Question and answer time.

Who are you and what do you want?

As if you didn't know.

No, no, no, no. Please don't use that.

And what's so bad about this innocent -looking little gadget?

Please, please don't use it.

I'll tell you everything.

Just get that away from me.

What's it do?

That is the laser gun that I invented for Octopussy.

It raises the hormone level in females to a point where it turns them into

nymphomaniacs. and basically they lose control of all their inhibitions.

Octopussy was going to use a dose on a female population in a small city and

then blackmail the city government into... Okay, I get the picture.

Are the rest of the guns here?

Yes.

All but the one we gave to Jose Rojos, and he lost his.

Besides, he's very sick.

Rojos the drug king?

You see, if a man becomes dosed with a gun, he becomes weak and helpless.

Somehow, Rojos must have dosed himself.

Way to go, Tiffany.

Octopussy was going to raise an army of undosed females and render the entire

male population helpless with this laser gun.

See, season two, female supremacy.

Turn it off, Lisa. Just show me where the guns are.

I'll keep this one, but it's bye -bye for the rest of your little invention,

sweetie.

Well, your ten -minute rest period is over. Time to start funny games again.

Not again.

Oh, yeah.

Huh? Yeah, we're going to do it again.

I can't.

Yes, you can.

I can?

The last guy lasted four and a half hours. You're going to ten.

Freeze!

That's a tip on a donkey.

We've already been dosed.

I'll tell you what, ladies.

He looks pretty tired to me.

Let him go, and I'll give you something that'll keep you busy for days.

What'll that be?

The location of the Dodgers training camp.

About ten miles from here.

What do you say?

Hmm.

Bill.

Abra.

Hi.

I'm Jeff Studley. I'm supposed to be your backup.

You've got to adjust some time.

Adjust some time for what?

Oh, are you kidding me? These girls are going to fuck me to death.

Oh, poor baby.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

Well, where are you going?

Why don't you let me go?

Fresh out of Harrods, baby?

Bet you I could raise a few.

Oh, no way, honey.

You don't know what these girls are doing to me. They're fucking me like

God.

Take off the chains.

What do you say?

Can I try?

Yeah. Yeah.

Ah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Sit on it, baby, please.

Sit on it.

Oh, God damn.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Don't look at your ass.

Don't look at your ass.

Oh, baby, I love you. I love you.

Yeah.

Why, you... So,

Miss Bond, you thought you could escape the all -seeing eye of Octopussy's

camera.

But you were wrong.

And now, my sweet, you're going to have to come with me.

So,

0069, you've destroyed my ray guns and that stupid double agent of yours has

ruined my Colombian connection.

Well, there's always a silver lining, isn't there?

Baron, bring Jane Bond over here.

We shall see how well she fits on my condom.

Then I'll be rid of her forever. The only memory I'll have of Jane Bond is

screams as she rides this phallus of death.

Freeze! Ha! Fool!

Did you really think that gun could possibly affect me? A supreme lesbian

no interest in men?

A leader of female supremacy.

Ha -hoister Baron!

Octopussy and the other occupied.

You better contact the agency.

Have them come in and clean up the rest of this place.

Will do.

Jane, I don't know how to thank you for everything.

I mean... I know.

I enjoyed you too.

On the other hand, if I was you, I'd consider going back through an agency

refresher course.

I won't be around all the time.

Know what I mean?

Back to work.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh, did I go wrong?

My plan was foolproof.

How could you expect to succeed when you didn't even believe in your own

product? So much for your celebrated immunity, Octopussy.

And now that you've discovered how good men are, too bad you'll be spending the

next 30 years behind bars.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.