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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Malloy, I am highly disappointed.
3
00:00:05,596 --> 00:00:07,912
You don't know a thing
about the value of money.
4
00:00:07,913 --> 00:00:09,841
I stand by my purchase.
5
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:13,478
It's not your purchase
if it's on my credit card!
6
00:00:13,479 --> 00:00:14,946
How much was this thing?
7
00:00:14,947 --> 00:00:19,927
I got it at a good
price, and I can do this.
8
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,666
No! Aah! Why?!
9
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,490
Why?
10
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,659
You're gonna bankrupt me, Malloy.
11
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:29,495
Return it, right now. Let's go!
12
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:33,696
Fine. You'll never know it was here.
13
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,018
♪ Brickleberry!
14
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♪ Brickleberry!
15
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:52,171
Rangers, I finally figured out
why this Park's been losing money.
16
00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:53,753
Because you've been stealing it.
17
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,956
- I didn't steal nothing.
- No one's blaming you, Denzel.
18
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,725
Sorry. Usually, this is when
the bear says something racist.
19
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,694
Can't, I'm playing "hate
words with friends".
20
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:05,063
We are in the dumper because
this Park isn't fun anymore.
21
00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:08,100
There's no more good,
clean, family wholesomeness.
22
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,851
So I bring to you...
23
00:01:10,852 --> 00:01:15,472
Firecracker Jim's
family fun time carnival!
24
00:01:24,123 --> 00:01:26,294
Takes you back to your
childhood, doesn't it?
25
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:30,089
Oh, yeah, nothing says "family fun"
like catching Hep C from a carnie.
26
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,891
That's your childhood, all right.
27
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,627
Well, I think it's an awesome idea!
28
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,963
Look at all these great games!
29
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:40,699
Poke the rabbit in the eyeball!
30
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,460
Donkey kicks, $5.
31
00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:47,573
Step right up to Bobby
Possumcods's petting zoo!
32
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,394
Heavy petting zoo!
33
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,713
All right, everybody, we
got a lot of work to do.
34
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,552
Crowd control, trash duty...
35
00:01:56,553 --> 00:01:58,884
What the...?
36
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,865
Look out, excuse me, move aside.
37
00:02:00,866 --> 00:02:02,649
Ranger Steve Williams coming through.
38
00:02:02,650 --> 00:02:04,690
Oh, thank God, a Park Ranger.
39
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,291
Someone just got a skull fracture.
40
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,726
- Who?
- You!
41
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,695
Now get your ass to the end of the line.
42
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,096
But I... Man.
43
00:02:12,097 --> 00:02:14,031
Why does the handicapped kid get to cut?
44
00:02:14,032 --> 00:02:15,732
Life can be so unfair.
45
00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:16,832
Ha, ha.
46
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:22,113
Right this way for the
greatest side show on Earth!
47
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:27,060
Be amazed by the
one-headed, one-tailed snake!
48
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:28,813
Be astounded!
49
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:32,774
By the mysterious hornless unicorn!
50
00:02:34,312 --> 00:02:35,846
This is lame. Let's go.
51
00:02:35,847 --> 00:02:37,804
Wait, who are they?
52
00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:39,405
Oh, don't look at them.
53
00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:41,585
They're just a bunch of circus freaks.
54
00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:43,399
But behold...
55
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A bird that has the ability...
56
00:02:46,157 --> 00:02:48,317
To swim!
57
00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:51,595
No, really, who are they?
58
00:02:51,596 --> 00:02:55,053
Well, if you insist on
seeing the lame stuff,
59
00:02:55,054 --> 00:02:58,202
here's dog boy, octopus
lady, giraffe girl, and...
60
00:02:58,203 --> 00:02:59,503
Whoa, let me guess.
61
00:02:59,504 --> 00:03:00,871
That's Dick nose.
62
00:03:00,872 --> 00:03:04,292
Uh, no, my name is Jerry.
63
00:03:04,407 --> 00:03:09,798
And my newest addition, the
carpet-munching Vaginasaurus!
64
00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:12,316
Hey! Connie is not a freak!
65
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:16,720
Lucas, let me take your picture
with the big, ugly freak.
66
00:03:16,721 --> 00:03:18,422
That's not right!
67
00:03:18,423 --> 00:03:19,560
Don't worry.
68
00:03:19,561 --> 00:03:25,261
I treat each and every one
of them like my own children.
69
00:03:26,311 --> 00:03:29,805
Did I mention I [Bleeping]
hate my children?
70
00:03:29,806 --> 00:03:32,446
They need help.
71
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:36,110
Come on, follow me!
72
00:03:36,184 --> 00:03:39,376
Oh, my God, what did she do?
73
00:03:39,377 --> 00:03:42,312
They can't survive in
a non-cage environment.
74
00:03:42,313 --> 00:03:44,381
They'll go crazy on the outside!
75
00:03:44,382 --> 00:03:45,777
We've got to get them back!
76
00:03:45,778 --> 00:03:48,606
Uh, not me. I don't associate
with anything that ugly.
77
00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:50,563
Yeah, unless it buys you two drinks.
78
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,156
Then you'll give it a toothy
B.J. in a public bathroom.
79
00:03:53,157 --> 00:03:55,857
Did I say that?
80
00:03:58,678 --> 00:04:00,731
Woody, I need 20 bucks. I
want to play whack-a-mole.
81
00:04:00,732 --> 00:04:01,977
- No!
- Please?
82
00:04:01,978 --> 00:04:04,978
They use real moles.
83
00:04:07,672 --> 00:04:10,073
No, Malloy. Enough.
84
00:04:10,074 --> 00:04:12,109
What do I look like I'm made of, money?
85
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,712
No, it looks like you're made out
of ham. Now give me some money!
86
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:18,649
Forget it. You need to stop blowing
my money and make some for yourself.
87
00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:20,417
It's time for you to get a job.
88
00:04:20,418 --> 00:04:21,752
- A job?
- Yes!
89
00:04:21,753 --> 00:04:24,854
I'm through being your personal ATM.
90
00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:29,715
What does ass-to-mouth
have to do with this?
91
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:33,029
Finally. I've been in
this line for three hours.
92
00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:35,139
Sorry, folks. Ride's closed for repair.
93
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:36,216
Repair?
94
00:04:36,217 --> 00:04:38,602
By "repair," I mean I
snorted too much angel dust,
95
00:04:38,603 --> 00:04:40,982
and you'll be lucky if I
don't eat your face off!
96
00:04:40,983 --> 00:04:43,143
Ah, man.
97
00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:46,208
Oh, my God.
98
00:04:46,209 --> 00:04:49,145
The Paralyzer! And there's no line!
99
00:04:49,146 --> 00:04:51,450
Hey, Firecracker Jim.
100
00:04:51,451 --> 00:04:53,950
- Is this ride dangerous?
- What the hell do you think?
101
00:04:53,951 --> 00:04:57,220
It's called "The Paralyzer,"
not "The Blowjobber!"
102
00:04:57,221 --> 00:05:00,461
That line's over there!
103
00:05:01,192 --> 00:05:02,926
- See ya.
- Watch out, now.
104
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,728
You never know if you gonna
have to give one or get one.
105
00:05:05,729 --> 00:05:10,109
Eek... uh... I think I'll do this one.
106
00:05:13,637 --> 00:05:15,557
Whee!
107
00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:17,765
Yah!
108
00:05:20,443 --> 00:05:22,061
Oh!
109
00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:24,222
Woo-hoo!
110
00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,360
Hoo-ee!
111
00:05:26,361 --> 00:05:28,221
Yah!
112
00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:34,360
Hey, you alive?
113
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No refunds.
114
00:05:39,796 --> 00:05:42,431
Come on, guys, in here.
You'll be safe in my cabin.
115
00:05:42,432 --> 00:05:44,066
You can stay as long as you want.
116
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,668
Connie, who the hell are these freaks?
117
00:05:45,669 --> 00:05:48,734
They're not freaks.
They're my new best friends.
118
00:05:48,735 --> 00:05:50,704
Connie, you can't be
friends with these weirdos.
119
00:05:50,705 --> 00:05:52,808
They a bunch of...
hey, what's up, Jerry?
120
00:05:52,809 --> 00:05:55,612
- You guys know each other?
- Yeah, we went to Middle School together.
121
00:05:55,613 --> 00:05:58,331
Hey, Jerry, you remember when you
sneezed and got Wanda pregnant?
122
00:05:58,332 --> 00:06:02,172
I'm still paying for that cold.
123
00:06:03,521 --> 00:06:06,357
I come bearing sad news.
124
00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:10,580
As you know, Steve took a very
bad fall yesterday, and, uh,
125
00:06:10,581 --> 00:06:14,829
well, I'm sorry to have to tell you
this, but because of his injuries, we...
126
00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:17,441
Well, let's just say
we lost a lot of money,
127
00:06:17,442 --> 00:06:19,869
because we had to shut
the carnival down early.
128
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,170
Grieve in your own way!
129
00:06:21,171 --> 00:06:23,106
All right! Day off!
130
00:06:23,107 --> 00:06:24,949
Wait, how is Steve?
131
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:26,635
Steve who? Oh!
132
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:30,513
What am I, his goddamn babysitter?
133
00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:33,574
Good morning, Rangers.
134
00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:38,021
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Whoops.
135
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,290
Aah, aah. Help me, Jesus.
136
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,271
Sorry.
137
00:06:44,328 --> 00:06:45,662
Oh, look, everybody.
138
00:06:45,663 --> 00:06:47,446
The attention whore is here.
139
00:06:47,447 --> 00:06:50,000
- Woody!
- Oh, walk it off, Steve.
140
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:53,570
Everything will turn out fine, just
like it did for Christopher Reeve.
141
00:06:53,571 --> 00:06:55,539
- But he's dead.
- Exactly.
142
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,575
Thanks for coming to
see me in the hospital.
143
00:06:58,576 --> 00:07:00,678
Oh, wait. None of you did.
144
00:07:00,679 --> 00:07:02,079
Look on the bright side, Steve.
145
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,082
My best friend is handicapped!
Think of all the attention I'll get.
146
00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:08,051
Oh, I feel terrible. Are
you gonna be okay, Steve?
147
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:12,722
All questions for my client
can be directed to me.
148
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:16,626
Brickleberry Park is currently
inaccessible to my handicapped client.
149
00:07:16,627 --> 00:07:22,332
If it is not brought up to code, you
face fines and possible litigation.
150
00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:25,068
What? You told me to get a job.
151
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:28,227
Attorney at law? You ain't no lawyer.
152
00:07:28,228 --> 00:07:30,748
You're right.
153
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,308
Now I'm a lawyer.
154
00:07:32,309 --> 00:07:36,149
Thank you, University of Phoenix.
155
00:07:53,518 --> 00:07:54,883
So, Mr. Johnson,
156
00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:59,496
here's how you're going to make the
Park handicap-accessible for my client.
157
00:07:59,497 --> 00:08:02,085
People of Earth, you are in no danger.
158
00:08:02,086 --> 00:08:03,961
Please remain in your homes.
159
00:08:03,962 --> 00:08:05,563
Ha, ha, ha.
160
00:08:05,564 --> 00:08:08,085
Give me that. You can
still talk, you moron.
161
00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:09,107
Give it back.
162
00:08:09,108 --> 00:08:12,248
It makes me sound smart, like
Tony Hawk, that crippled scientist.
163
00:08:12,249 --> 00:08:13,737
Now, let's get down to business.
164
00:08:13,738 --> 00:08:16,874
Lower those windows a 1/2 inch.
We need a ramp to that ramp.
165
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:19,154
Therapeutic hot tub right here.
166
00:08:19,155 --> 00:08:21,924
And some therapeutic
hookers here, here...
167
00:08:21,925 --> 00:08:24,007
And here.
168
00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:27,262
What? Can't a brother
get some handi-scraps?
169
00:08:27,263 --> 00:08:29,854
Oh, I know what you're doing, Malloy.
170
00:08:29,855 --> 00:08:32,891
You're just getting back
at me for cutting you off.
171
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:35,627
I know that Steve is
faking this whole thing.
172
00:08:35,628 --> 00:08:37,163
Whatever it is, I like it.
173
00:08:37,164 --> 00:08:38,742
You got the life, for real, Steve.
174
00:08:38,743 --> 00:08:40,980
Just lounging all day,
everyone taking care of you.
175
00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:43,220
V.I.P. treatment wherever you go.
176
00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:46,923
They even gave me this
never-ending bag of pudding.
177
00:08:46,924 --> 00:08:48,759
Steve, that's shit.
178
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,988
Well, that's a little harsh. It's
not snack pack, but it's free.
179
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:57,095
And a couple of hours after I
eat it, it fills back up again.
180
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:58,205
Oh, God.
181
00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:02,981
Here's the total cost for completing
all the necessary upgrades to the Park.
182
00:09:02,982 --> 00:09:06,191
Why do I have to call a phone
number to find out how much I owe?
183
00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:08,596
Uh, that is not a phone
number. That is the amount due.
184
00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:10,896
This is a bunch of hog shit.
185
00:09:10,897 --> 00:09:14,317
I know you can walk, Steve,
and I'm gonna prove it!
186
00:09:14,318 --> 00:09:17,405
Damn, what's that smell?
187
00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:18,588
Yeah, what is that?
188
00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:21,124
It smells like a skunk
[Bleeped] a burning tire.
189
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:26,525
Or your feet cooking inside
two George Foreman grills!
190
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:29,900
Hmm, I don't feel anything,
but it smells delicious.
191
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:33,006
Good poker face, Steve,
but I'm not buying it.
192
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,367
Oh, that's just sad.
193
00:09:34,368 --> 00:09:38,010
I can't believe George Foreman put
his name on them cheap-ass grills.
194
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:41,680
Look at your feet, cooked
all uneven and shit.
195
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,716
Keep your chin up, Steve. I
know just what will cheer you up.
196
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:45,989
Dancing!
197
00:09:45,990 --> 00:09:49,187
But I can't really
dance. Or move. At all.
198
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:53,224
Steve, ever since you got paralyzed,
people let you do whatever you want.
199
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,235
I think that that
should apply to me too.
200
00:09:55,236 --> 00:09:56,328
What do you mean?
201
00:09:56,329 --> 00:10:00,360
Hold on to your dead, lifeless ass
for a second, and let me demonstrate.
202
00:10:00,361 --> 00:10:01,762
Where do you think you're going?
203
00:10:01,763 --> 00:10:05,671
I think I'm going inside this
mother[Bleep] club, no charge, bitch.
204
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,835
Uh, this is my best friend, Steve.
205
00:10:07,836 --> 00:10:09,303
He just got paralyzed.
206
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,638
Oh, I'm so sorry. Get outta the way!
207
00:10:11,639 --> 00:10:13,440
This man's friend's handicapped!
208
00:10:13,441 --> 00:10:17,581
Look at him! He's all [Bleeped] up!
209
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:24,752
What the [Bleep] do
you think you're doing?
210
00:10:24,753 --> 00:10:26,487
Grieving. I got a crippled friend.
211
00:10:26,488 --> 00:10:28,156
Oh, my bad.
212
00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:31,125
Here, uh, that's crap. Take
something from the top shelf.
213
00:10:31,126 --> 00:10:34,928
Oh, I'll take the whole top shelf.
214
00:10:34,929 --> 00:10:36,396
Yeah! Woo!
215
00:10:36,397 --> 00:10:38,632
My friend crippled! I
can do whatever I want!
216
00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:40,334
I'm the King of the World!
217
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,837
Denzel, you're wasted.
Who's gonna drive home?
218
00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:46,438
You let me worry about that.
219
00:10:47,719 --> 00:10:50,211
What a night! V.I.P.!
220
00:10:50,212 --> 00:10:52,072
Woo!
221
00:10:52,384 --> 00:10:56,083
Steve, you getting paralyzed is the
best thing that ever happened to me.
222
00:10:56,084 --> 00:10:57,751
Denzel, this doesn't seem safe.
223
00:10:57,752 --> 00:10:59,386
Relax.
224
00:10:59,387 --> 00:11:01,322
You're doing fine.
225
00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:05,103
- Ah... ah...
- Gezundhe... aah!
226
00:11:05,162 --> 00:11:07,454
What the hell?
227
00:11:07,455 --> 00:11:10,490
I will kill you! I swear to God!
228
00:11:10,491 --> 00:11:13,534
Oh. Oh, I didn't know. I'm so sorry.
229
00:11:13,535 --> 00:11:16,737
We'll let it slide this time, but
don't let that shit happen again!
230
00:11:16,738 --> 00:11:19,207
Hey, have you guys
seen my wife anywhere?
231
00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:21,887
Oh, God, it hurts!
232
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:24,513
Honey, shut up! It's
a handicapped driver!
233
00:11:24,514 --> 00:11:27,082
Oh, I'm sorry.
234
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:30,203
I feel so embarrassed.
235
00:11:32,813 --> 00:11:36,604
You're past due for payment on
the handicap-accessible nude beach.
236
00:11:36,605 --> 00:11:39,640
Oh, I'm sorry. Let me
just grab my checkbook.
237
00:11:39,641 --> 00:11:41,501
Aha!
238
00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:43,303
Nope, nothing.
239
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:45,246
Okay, now do you believe he's paralyzed?
240
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:49,983
No, I don't, and I'm not gonna give you
any more money for your little handi-scam.
241
00:11:49,984 --> 00:11:52,119
Then we will see you in court.
242
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,287
Not if I see you first, asshole.
243
00:11:54,288 --> 00:11:55,989
Oh, wait, you're on my side.
244
00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:59,830
Sorry. I'm dying of blood loss.
245
00:12:01,819 --> 00:12:06,499
I've always dreamed
of having friends over.
246
00:12:08,169 --> 00:12:09,553
Oh!
247
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,904
Good call. Tea's boring.
248
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:15,685
Who wants to play Scattergories?
249
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,560
Uh, so you guys want me to heat that up?
250
00:12:20,819 --> 00:12:24,064
So I hope you guys
saved room for dessert.
251
00:12:24,065 --> 00:12:26,585
Snickerdoodles?
252
00:12:28,219 --> 00:12:31,206
All right, everybody. Into the truck!
253
00:12:31,207 --> 00:12:34,999
Hey, wait a minute. You're not taking
them back to that horrible carnival.
254
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,253
Carnival? No, this is worse.
255
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:42,394
They've been summoned for jury duty.
256
00:12:43,732 --> 00:12:48,172
If it's a black guy, we're frying him.
257
00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:52,781
Best party ever.
258
00:12:56,544 --> 00:12:58,279
Ow! Denzel, sto...
259
00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,914
Ouch! Stop!
260
00:12:59,915 --> 00:13:01,370
I don't want to be here.
261
00:13:01,371 --> 00:13:03,718
Ah, chill out, broke
back-enroe. This is awesome.
262
00:13:03,719 --> 00:13:06,018
I can't believe they let me
in this all-white country club
263
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,820
just because of your busted-ass spine.
264
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,302
Excuse me.
265
00:13:09,303 --> 00:13:11,485
We have this court reserved.
266
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,692
Well, well. Look at you.
267
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:17,068
Titties like two wind
socks on a calm day.
268
00:13:17,069 --> 00:13:19,514
You want to get freaky
behind that dumpster?
269
00:13:19,515 --> 00:13:22,779
- Well, I never.
- Excuse me, that's my wife.
270
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:27,100
Oh, yeah? Well, that's my best friend.
271
00:13:27,718 --> 00:13:29,719
Oh, yeah, you dirty.
272
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,980
That's nice, what you're doing there.
273
00:13:38,763 --> 00:13:39,830
Aah!
274
00:13:39,831 --> 00:13:41,631
Hi.
275
00:13:41,632 --> 00:13:45,330
I want the truth, Steve,
because I know you're faking it.
276
00:13:45,331 --> 00:13:46,903
No, I'm not. I swear to God.
277
00:13:46,904 --> 00:13:51,640
You know, when I was in the jungle, I
did a few things I wasn't very proud of.
278
00:13:51,641 --> 00:13:54,943
Technically, Steven, I'm a war criminal.
279
00:13:54,944 --> 00:13:56,746
Gotta roll.
280
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:58,742
No, Woody, what are you doing?
281
00:13:58,743 --> 00:14:03,485
You know, this was banned
by the Geneva Convention.
282
00:14:03,486 --> 00:14:07,326
Cootchy-cootchy,
wootchy-cootchy.
283
00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:15,831
Cootchy.
284
00:14:15,832 --> 00:14:17,532
You're a tough son of a bitch, Steve.
285
00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:20,001
I would've had Abu Nazir crying by now.
286
00:14:20,002 --> 00:14:23,054
Time for my last option.
287
00:14:23,055 --> 00:14:25,538
Oh, my God, Woody,
stop. What are you doing?
288
00:14:25,539 --> 00:14:29,144
Screw this court case. You're not
gonna steal any more of my money.
289
00:14:29,145 --> 00:14:32,281
You get up or you go down!
290
00:14:32,282 --> 00:14:33,778
Three...
291
00:14:33,779 --> 00:14:35,035
Two...
292
00:14:35,036 --> 00:14:37,239
Two and a half...
293
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,520
One! Walk!
294
00:14:40,657 --> 00:14:41,790
Oopsie.
295
00:14:41,791 --> 00:14:43,458
Okay, Steve!
296
00:14:43,459 --> 00:14:46,339
Now I believe you!
297
00:14:54,557 --> 00:14:56,086
I'm still alive.
298
00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:59,007
I can't believe I'm still Ali... wait.
299
00:14:59,008 --> 00:15:01,352
Well, I'll be damned.
300
00:15:01,353 --> 00:15:04,293
$2 off a Subway Footlong!
301
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:07,114
Oh, it's expired.
302
00:15:07,121 --> 00:15:11,021
Well, at least I can walk again.
303
00:15:14,189 --> 00:15:18,458
God damn it, how can Steve run
late when he can't even walk?
304
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,520
Good morning, counselor.
305
00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:25,478
So how much money are we gonna make off
me being hurt on that roller coaster, eh?
306
00:15:25,479 --> 00:15:28,002
Nothing now. You can
walk? What the hell?
307
00:15:28,003 --> 00:15:31,663
Oh, yeah. And I can do this.
308
00:15:36,745 --> 00:15:38,544
Beep, beep, beep, beep
beep beep, beep beep.
309
00:15:38,545 --> 00:15:41,092
You had one thing to do.
You had one thing to do.
310
00:15:41,093 --> 00:15:43,859
Stay paralyzed. How'd
you [Bleep] that up?
311
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,954
I know, it sucks. I've got
to wipe my own ass again.
312
00:15:46,955 --> 00:15:50,691
The trial's in ten minutes.
I need you to be paralyzed.
313
00:15:50,692 --> 00:15:52,852
Hold on.
314
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:59,302
We'll never get away with
it. He looks nothing like me.
315
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,468
Okay.
316
00:16:00,469 --> 00:16:02,687
Steve, sit down and don't move.
317
00:16:02,688 --> 00:16:04,588
You have to stay perfectly still.
318
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,141
Do not blow this.
319
00:16:06,142 --> 00:16:09,210
Whoa, this guy's got a lemonade bag.
320
00:16:09,211 --> 00:16:11,191
Score!
321
00:16:20,715 --> 00:16:22,457
The litigants have been sworn in.
322
00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:26,425
Mr. Malloy, you and your
client are suing Woody Johnson
323
00:16:26,426 --> 00:16:29,873
for moneys that he owes to
complete the handicap-accessible
324
00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:31,934
renovations to Brickleberry Park.
325
00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:35,575
And for pain and suffering
caused by, and I quote...
326
00:16:35,576 --> 00:16:38,507
"Looking at his big,
fat, [Bleeped] up face".
327
00:16:38,508 --> 00:16:39,870
Objection, your honor.
328
00:16:39,871 --> 00:16:42,949
Let the record show that my face
is neither fat nor [Bleeped] up.
329
00:16:42,950 --> 00:16:47,016
Objection overruled. It is both, Sir.
330
00:16:47,017 --> 00:16:49,694
Now, Dr. Kuzniak, as
a medical professional,
331
00:16:49,695 --> 00:16:53,118
would you say that this amusement
ride could actually paralyze someone?
332
00:16:53,119 --> 00:16:54,460
Oh, not at all.
333
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:57,158
Actually, I find The Blowjobber
to be quite stimulating.
334
00:16:57,159 --> 00:16:58,808
I went on it nine times.
335
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,705
Uh, we're not here to talk
about you getting blow jobs.
336
00:17:01,706 --> 00:17:05,333
Wait a minute. You can get blow jobs?
337
00:17:05,334 --> 00:17:09,304
Denzel, as a black man, you're
familiar with illegal activities.
338
00:17:09,305 --> 00:17:10,939
Would you say that...
339
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,108
Your honor, I can't continue with this.
340
00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:16,006
Mr. Jackson, what is going on?
341
00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:17,879
Oh, you know, fun.
342
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,715
Sir, do I have to hold you in contempt?
343
00:17:20,716 --> 00:17:23,626
It's all right. His friend's a cripple.
344
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,927
I'm sorry, Sir. Proceed.
345
00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:29,628
All right, this is
where I make Woody crack.
346
00:17:29,629 --> 00:17:33,642
So, Mr. Johnson, isn't it true that
you brought the carnival to Brickleberry
347
00:17:33,643 --> 00:17:37,234
to purposefully paralyze my client?
348
00:17:37,235 --> 00:17:38,069
No!
349
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:42,143
So you're telling us you did not
bring the carnival to Brickleberry?
350
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,984
- Yes.
- So now you are lying to the court.
351
00:17:44,985 --> 00:17:46,944
Uh, no... uh, yes... what?
352
00:17:46,945 --> 00:17:50,168
No, I would never do that.
I'm not that kind of guy.
353
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:54,385
So you're telling this court that
you're a perfectly "decent man".
354
00:17:54,386 --> 00:17:58,226
And remember, you're under oath.
355
00:18:00,358 --> 00:18:04,027
I mean, look, I've done
bad things in my life, okay?
356
00:18:04,028 --> 00:18:07,064
I... oh, dear God, who am I kidding?
357
00:18:07,065 --> 00:18:09,133
I'm a piece of shit!
358
00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:14,638
When I was six, I French-kissed a burro
during a Mexican independence day parade.
359
00:18:14,639 --> 00:18:17,875
I illegally downloaded Mamma Mia!
360
00:18:17,876 --> 00:18:23,776
And in 1989, I showed my testes
to a drunk driver at an IHOP!
361
00:18:23,882 --> 00:18:28,185
He offered me half a rooty
tooty fresh 'n fruity!
362
00:18:28,186 --> 00:18:30,886
I'm only human!
363
00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:34,158
Mr. Malloy, what is the
point of this testimony?
364
00:18:34,159 --> 00:18:39,730
He had the nerve to suggest that I get
a job, and it is fun to tease the fat.
365
00:18:39,731 --> 00:18:40,898
Point taken.
366
00:18:40,899 --> 00:18:45,279
Is the aggrieved party ready to testify?
367
00:18:46,219 --> 00:18:49,507
We've won this, Steve. Just
sit still for five more minutes.
368
00:18:49,508 --> 00:18:52,076
No problem, I got this.
369
00:18:52,077 --> 00:18:53,798
You're the reverse Stephen Hawking...
370
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:57,314
Body works, shit for brains.
371
00:18:57,315 --> 00:19:02,339
All ye bearded ladies and genital-nosed
freak assholes of the jury...
372
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,388
How about a huzzah for Steve?
373
00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:09,892
Three cheers for the paralyzed dickhead
who's going to take all of my money!
374
00:19:09,893 --> 00:19:13,429
I guess you won, Steve, and
you ruined the Park forever.
375
00:19:13,430 --> 00:19:16,730
Con[Bleeping]gratulations.
376
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,875
You want my money, Steve? Here, take it!
377
00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:27,843
Money, money, money,
money, money, money, money!
378
00:19:27,844 --> 00:19:30,913
You want this one, Steve? Huh?
You like it? You like Mr. Franklin?
379
00:19:30,914 --> 00:19:33,349
You want him? Here.
380
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:36,590
Dig it out of my shit!
381
00:19:37,622 --> 00:19:40,827
You're getting closer.
The face is... mm...
382
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:46,728
I don't know how you draw a touch of
Down's, but that's what I'm thinking.
383
00:19:52,602 --> 00:19:58,406
Oh, I hope you're happy,
Steve, because I'm a broken man.
384
00:19:58,407 --> 00:19:59,908
Oh, God! Ooh! Ooh!
385
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:01,510
So itchy! Oh, oh!
386
00:20:01,511 --> 00:20:03,512
Oh, ooh, ah.
387
00:20:03,513 --> 00:20:06,033
Ah, ah. Ah...
388
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:10,854
Your honor, I'd like to drop all
charges against Woody Johnson.
389
00:20:10,855 --> 00:20:14,590
And confide with my new
client, Woody Johnson.
390
00:20:14,591 --> 00:20:18,093
We will be counter suing
Mr. Steve Williams for fraud.
391
00:20:18,094 --> 00:20:20,434
Ah... what?
392
00:20:22,832 --> 00:20:26,868
Thanks for winning my money back
in that counter suit, Mr. Counselor.
393
00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:28,770
Here, go buy whatever you'd like.
394
00:20:28,771 --> 00:20:33,275
Well, this almost covers
5% of my attorney fees.
395
00:20:33,276 --> 00:20:35,711
Huh, The Paralyzer. I
thought they shut that ride...
396
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:38,212
Ow! Oh! Steve!
397
00:20:38,213 --> 00:20:40,415
Shit, you dumb son of a bitch!
398
00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:41,883
I can't feel my legs!
399
00:20:41,884 --> 00:20:43,284
I can't move!
400
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:46,187
Poke the cripple in the eyeball!
401
00:20:46,188 --> 00:20:47,688
One, please.
402
00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:53,589
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
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