Original subtitles

Brothers and sisters hunting for witches and ghosts?

They should know better than to taunt the horny spirits of their local haunted

house. Let's see how all my lovely demons corrupt these naughty siblings.

Wait, are you getting this?

Yeah, man.

You're supposed to say speeding, bro.

Whatever.

Amber, you got your slate?

I do.

Great. Okay.

Awesome. All right. Yeah. Let's get moving.

Sorry. There you go, man.

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen, ghouls and ghosts, we gather here today at the...

spookiest house in the neighborhood on the scariest night of the year to

hopefully find some ghosts and find out what the heck they want with our town

they've been terrifying and you know driving everyone crazy for generations

our little neighborhood and we gotta get down to business with them so for

starters i would like to introduce my

Step sister, she's pretty cool. I guess she is a psychic So she's gonna

help us Speak to these guys today, right? Yeah, I mean even the dead need

too So we're gonna talk to them and we really hope you guys love our video.

Is there anything here right now?

I think hmm.

There's a lot of spirits in here. Yeah Okay, okay, so we're gonna get to know

them in a little bit.

So next I would like to introduce My dog, Lawson.

Come on, bro. You know I don't like being on camera.

But look, we better make some money off this before my dad finds out I used his

credit card to buy an expensive -ass camera.

Man, we're going to make a ton of fucking money, bro. Once we get these

on camera, everyone's going to want to buy this footage.

We better.

And lastly...

But not leastly, the beautiful Amber. She's Walton's stepsister. Isn't she a

doll, everybody?

We wouldn't be able to do this without her because she is the producer, the

heart of this operation.

Isn't that correct?

Yes, that's correct.

And why don't you tell our fans here a little bit about your role? Okay.

Well, like you said, I'm the producer, so I do all the findings and histories

about, I mean, I guess, not this place.

And, yeah.

Nobody likes to do it, but I do.

I don't know what we would do without her.

She is the best.

So, yeah, basically, that's the squad, and we're going to find out

what these ghostly ghouls are doing in here. And, yeah, stay tuned.

All right.

Come on, y 'all. Let's get this Ouija board out and get this ball rolling

already. Oh, my gosh.

Nate, are you sure we should do this? Like, I'm getting really weird vibes in

this house. My God, sis, stop.

Break it out.

You know those aren't real anyway. We're just doing this so we can make some

money.

I don't know. I agree with River.

Once I messed up the history of this place, I just gave you the creeps.

Nate, you didn't tell me there was a history.

Nate, you didn't tell her this place was built over an old cemetery?

I mean, no.

She's supposed to be a sidekick, so I figured she would figure that out on

herself.

All right.

You guys ready?

Yeah. All right, y 'all.

Let's just do a dry run first with the Ouija board. That way, Lawson knows what

to film, okay?

So, let's just keep it creepy and fun.

Creepy and fun.

You got it?

Okay.

Why are we in this stupid -ass costume?

Well, I thought we'd look really cute. It's Halloween, and we'd get a lot of

views.

Yeah. It's all for the views.

Right?

I mean, you look pretty cute.

But, um, let's get started.

Alright.

Oh, gosh, did someone hear that?

I did hear that.

We're not even started yet.

I told you this place had a bad vibe.

All right, everyone.

Okay, this is it.

Okay.

Hear me. Spirits, forgive my stupid stepbrother's comments.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

You guys know I'm an ally to your kind anyway.

Spirits of this house, please reach out.

Please show us that you're here.

We can just thank you.

No, give it time.

They're here.

Um, you know, ghosts aren't real, right?

Oh my god.

They're so real.

Fucking dorks.

High gold, you guys.

Oh, we're gonna be fucking rich. I think they're mad.

Hold on.

Yes.

Yes, they're mad.

What are they mad at?

Oh, spirits, why are you mad? What have we done to offend you?

Oh my god, oh my god. I swear I'm not doing this.

Oh my god.

Stop fucking with us. I'm not fucking doing that.

Wait, it's spelled off.

Oh my god, oh my god.

You're doing it. I'm not. You're doing it.

No, I'm not.

Listen.

I know you think that you could, like, scare me or something, but this is not

working. This is so not even about that, Nate.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

That's scary. That's really scary.

Make it stop.

What do you want from us?

What is that thing?

You must have bought it like that.

I don't know what that means.

We have to make the ghosts happy.

I'm not taking off my clothes.

We have to.

Do we have to?

I mean, we don't know what could happen if we don't. These ghosts are clearly

very powerful.

I don't know about all this, but... Come on, you guys.

You are a psychic, right?

Yes. Don't you trust me?

You know what?

As long as these spirits...

Yeah, you have no idea what that could mean. Think about it.

All right, everyone take off your costumes.

Come on.

Oh,

my

God.

It's not like that. It's fine on you more often.

like it this much.

Oh my god. You guys are fucking gross.

You should get rid of them with the ghost.

That's for sure.

I mean, that's part of your costume too, right?

You need to take all of it off.

There we go.

Go with no what's up.

You guys are such boys.

Okay, I guess we don't have our clothes off. Why are you hard?

Um, why are you looking?

You interested?

Oh my god.

Whatever.

Oh my god, whatever.

And why are you hard?

You know, you don't have to cover your tit.

You're such a perv.

Can we get this over with?

Okay. Are they happy or?

Let's see.

Are you satisfied, ghost?

No.

We did what they wanted.

What do you want, ghost?

F -E -S?

F -E -S?

F -E -S?

Yo, these motherfuckers are horny, yo. God.

Fuck. What was that? Oh, my God, oh, my God.

What was that? This is really scary, you guys.

Guys, we need to get out of here. Someone must have cut the power lines or

something.

Are you kidding me? It's clearly the ghost.

This house is old as fuck.

It's part of the city.

I'm going to go check the fuse box.

I'll come with you.

That's protection.

Great idea.

I'm going to bring this in case the ghosts have any more messages. How are

going to protect them?

Shut up.

This place is in the creeps.

Yeah, but, you know, at least we can keep each other company, right?

I guess. I don't want to die tonight.

All right, well, I guess it's just you, me, and the ghosts now.

I guess so.

So, you're probably late.

Give them what they wanted, right?

What did they want?

Um, dick, dick, dick.

You saw it? They're horny.

I don't know.

We've messed around before.

Yes, but that was a long ago.

Come on.

Don't kill me.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Come on.

Don't you miss it?

I'm not going to answer that question.

We don't want to get, like, cursed or something.

I guess.

Maybe. I don't know.

But I don't want to get cursed.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, just, like, shrug it for them. They probably want to watch that.

Okay. Yeah, you don't have to, like, put it in your mouth or anything yet.

Just, like, shrug it a little bit.

This better make the ghost happy.

I'm sure it will.

Ain't that right, ghost?

Did you hear that?

I don't think they said that.

I don't know.

You're just hearing things.

Don't scare me like that.

That's how I like it. You remember.

Yeah, but it's just so huge.

I don't know.

River!

Lawson?

River, are you okay?

Lawson, are you okay?

Here.

Should we go?

No, maybe we should stick together.

Here.

Hold my hand, okay?

Told me to.

The Ouija board told you to?

Yeah. It did. I promise.

We have to build up sexual energy to appease the spirit.

What was that?

Bro.

Bro, my sister.

I'm too close.

Yeah, I can't see my brother doing that.

We gotta keep those people in those happy, man.

Why don't you just wind around?

I guess.

Don't look at me, please.

Welcome.

Okay, bitch.

I don't know how I feel seeing my sister get fucked.

The Ouija board is telling us that they both need to suck our dick.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay.

Don't let me suck his dick.

Yes.

You're a smart board if you ask

me.

I don't think I want to see my brother in my view.

I don't either.

You shouldn't even be here.

You should not be here.

Man, don't talk to her like that. She's the producer.

We're a team, bro.

I don't know about this.

Don't worry about it.

Oh, yeah.

I thought you deep -throated his hip, Ty. I thought you could deep -throw

too. Oh, my God. Stop watching me. No.

Whatever. Don't look at me.

I

think

the Ouija board said something about you sucking my balls.

That's what the ghosts want.

You know what?

I think the Ouija board was saying that it wants you to stroke my dick while she

sucks the tip of it.

No way.

Or something like that. Yeah, it was saying that. I saw it.

You know what?

Stop to start flying across the room. No bad energy.

Okay.

Okay, that's it.

Yeah.

She wasn't even talking yet.

That's not how you're going to count. We're going to be cursed because of you.

Oh, my God.

Fine, but she has to do it too.

I'm not doing this by myself.

I don't want to stretch his dick or bug his dick.

Nobody can do that.

If I have to do it, everyone does.

Whatever, just do me first and then... I guess if that's what the spirits want,

I guess I'll have to do it.

What are you doing?

That'll calm down the ghost.

Alright, alright, that's enough.

Your turn.

It's my turn.

Trust me, I did not want to do this.

Yeah, do it for the ghost.

Okay? Do this for the ghost.

Okay, that's enough. I can't do anymore.

No, thank you.

I don't know if I can fight next to you.

I don't want to see you do that.

Oh my god, that must be the ghost train!

Oh my god, everyone's hurting! Hey, get on top, hurry!

What is it?

I can't believe you were looking at the kids.

Oh, yeah?

You know what? That sounds about right.

Sounds like something that's going to go through today.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm right next to my brother's ball.

Sorry,

this is a good position.

Oh, my God.

Oh, now I'm super close to my brother.

I'm okay.

Oh, don't look at me, kid. Don't look at me.

You're distracting me. I'm trying to focus.

Well, don't look.

I think it's telling us to do something.

This is too close.

It's not working, you guys.

I think it's telling us to do something else.

What does it say?

Hurry, Amber, touch my balls. It'll stop.

No.

Come on, it'll stop.

Maybe try the same thing just in case

are pretty cool.

I don't want to scare my brother's face. I don't either.

Oh my goodness. You're way too close.

Oh my God.

I don't want my brother watching me.

What is that?

Wait, what's going on?

Hurry, Amber, quick.

Nick.

Hurry, quick. Where did it stop?

Oh,

dang.

It worked.

It did work.

Oh, yeah.

My God, it's happening again. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

It worked.

It worked.

Here, do it one more time to be safe.

I think that's Morse code for 69.

Okay. Okay.

Here.

Get on top of her.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I'll fuck her while you guys do that. Oh, my God. But your dick is so close to

my face.

Well, that's perfect.

Just in case you're freaking out again. Oh, my God.

My face is way too close to your dick.

I don't know what's... Oh, my God. This is so weird.

Definitely. I do not want to see my brother fucking you.

You're bothering me in the face, brother.

Well, I mean, you're kind of right in the way.

Oh, shh.

What is that? Put it in the game.

Put it in the game. Quick, quick, quick.

Keep it in there.

Just like that.

Spirits are definitely ones to do that.

I did not see the black flicker at all.

You're getting fucked. You probably just can't. You're the same thing.

Swap.

Swap. Swap.

No.

Come on.

It's literally telling us to do it. We're going to be stuck in this house

forever if you guys are going to be selfish like that.

But I don't want to fuck my brother.

Me either.

That's so weird.

Bye. Curse for eternity.

Don't look at me, though. Don't look at my face.

You're telling me.

I'm only going to do it. I have to do it.

Oh, God. You don't want them back.

God, don't look at me.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's what I need.

You think so?

Yeah. I think we better try everything.

Okay. Oh, my God. See?

You better hurry.

I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready.

All right.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, right there.

Oh.

I'm screwed

Just in case.

Yes,

yes, yes.

Thank you.

Oh my god. Fuck.

Fuck.

Wait.

This is weird.

We don't want you to be cursed or haunted.

But the lights haven't flickered.

I mean... Oh, my God.

Get out. We've got something else.

Oh,

it's flickering. Quick,

quick, quick. Oh, my God.

Bye. Bye.

Come. Yeah, sister, come.

All right, come on. Where do you want us to come?

Where?

Faith, faith, faith, faith.

Faith, faith.

Faith, faith, faith.

Do you want some toothpaste?

I hope

so. Do you

want some toothpaste?

I hope the ghost came as much as us.

I think we did it. I think we beat off the ghost.

Yeah.

Alright, mission accomplished. Y 'all can come out.

Hey, we did that.

Thanks for the 50 bucks.

What the fuck?

You guys planned this? This whole time.

Really. It was fucking ridiculous.

Happy Halloween!