Original subtitles

So, boys, tell me.

Why do you want to adopt?

Well, we've been talking about it for a while now, haven't we, Gabe?

And we're really solid.

Been together eight years now, so it feels like the natural next step,

it?

I'm sensing you're a little bit nervous, Gabriel.

I'm not nervous.

Good. Just answer honestly and we'll all get along fine.

Are you married?

No, no. Not that it's a problem?

Gabriel thinks it's heteronormative.

He thinks it's what straight couples do when they've run out of things to say.

Will you take paternity leave then?

We're going to split it, so I'm going to take nine months and Gabe is going to

take three.

I thought you were just taking the one.

No.

Three.

And we want a girl, don't we, Ant?

Why's that?

Boy, you did nothing but trouble.

I was told we could be specific.

But you're halving your chances there.

I mean, I'd encourage you to keep your options open.

We'd really like a girl, though, wouldn't we, Ant?

And what do you do, Andy?

I'm an accountant.

We're not to be ashamed of. Well, it's certainly not as exciting as Gabe.

Yes. I hear you're a drag queen.

I'm not a drag queen.

What are you, then?

He's wonderful.

People come from miles the same.

Oh, you should hear him sing at Neverland.

Done.

Do you mind if I have a quick look around the house?

I just want to check in on serial killers or something.

Why did you invite her to Neverland?

She might be into Moff.

I wouldn't like to say.

We've only just met.

Virtual apparenting.

Watch what you say.

You never know who's listening.

But I won't You probably think I hide my hurt inside

But I don't So many people come and go I find

it best To let them go As soon as

they're gone The membrane's only there to make you sad

They say it hurts your insides when you miss the things you've had.

Well, I don't cry because I've no love inside of me.

I'm footloose. No memories to tie me down.

I'm free.

But sometimes I wonder what happens to those

with whom I shared adventures. Those pirates.

And lost boys and fairies

And sometimes those

wanderings They give me the strangest of feelings

Fleeting moments in my mind Of those once

upon a time long ago

depending on their age.

Top and bottom.

Is that you?

I see what you mean.

You're a work of art.

This one's got better tits than I have.

I'm a social worker, boys. What a prick.

Oh.

Wow.

To where the magic happens.

Then put a lock on it.

Oh, your magic will soon be covered in snot.

And you'll need a lock here.

And here.

And that'll have to go, won't it?

And what about your health, your finances, your childhood?

Childhood? Yes.

The way you were parented can have a significant impact on the parent you're

likely to become.

But I'll do things very differently.

That's what they all say.

Look, children can push buttons you never even knew you had.

But I had a very happy childhood.

Mum and Dad moved to be close to the Cardiff just after I was born.

Tell me about your parents.

Dad was a physics teacher.

Mum worked at a nursery.

Welsh language schools?

Yes.

Mum was loving.

The dad was... Well, there was a lot of chapel.

A chapel.

The dad was a deacon.

His dad was a minister.

My mum helped out with Sunday school until...

She died when I was little, a brain hemorrhage.

Oh, Gabriel.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

It's fine.

It was a long time ago.

Well, it must have been incredibly traumatic for you as a child.

I don't remember much about it now,

to be honest.

Will you raise your...

Child to speak Welsh as well? No.

It wouldn't be fair on Andy, would it?

Why not?

I'm thinking of having lessons, actually.

But don't you think it's like therapy, but without the actual therapy?

I'm not the one who has a problem with it.

The way she looks at you with those judge eyes.

I mean, does it need to be so intrusive?

Why does she need to know everything? Any arsehole can shoot their load and

a baby.

Exactly.

Hence the need for adoption.

And why she has to make sure we're not going to, you know, further damage an

already traumatised child.

You haven't mentioned... What do you take me for?

I know what you're like. You overshare.

Plus, she told us not to lie, and you hate lying, so...

But I'm not lying, am I?

Just being frugal with the truth.

I'm finding it intense.

Honestly, Jackie, it's true.

Apart from wanting to get as far away from my dad as possible, I swear the

reason she chose Cardiff was because she was hoping she'd make friends with

Shirley Pasley.

We didn't have a lot, but I didn't want for love.

So now I want to be able to pass that on to someone.

Help them thrive, make a difference.

Did your mum ever befriend Shirley?

Yeah, she tried.

Nearly got arrested.

Yeah, yeah, it is quite intense, isn't it?

Tell me about your hobbies when you were little.

Children who need to be taught to respect traditional moral values are

taught that they have an inalienable right to be gay.

All of those children are being cheated of a sound start in life.

And dressing up.

Loved dressing up.

Make sure it's all done in the best possible way.

Gabrielle?

Gabrielle?

Pretty good, I'd say.

It was just him and me, so...

But

me with Dick was my happy place.

How does your dad feel about the adoption?

Is he excited?

We haven't actually told him yet.

We wanted to tell him first thing.

I'm sure he'll be delighted.

Yeah.

So next session, we'll move on to when did you have your first thinking that

might be gay?

Well, there's never one moment, Jackie.

What is theory of the moment?

As I close the door to keep my love within.

Come on.

Gradual dawning.

You and me.

Come with me.

You and me.

Did you struggle with it?

No, not really.

How about your dad?

He struggled with it a bit, I guess.

But no one's out in the Bible, are they?

Being a teenager's horrific, isn't it?

Just a confusing time.

I mean, I don't know if I wanted to kill the boys who picked on me or fuck them

instead.

No, God, um... Sorry, I forgot what it was for a moment.

Were you bullied, Gabriel?

God, no.

Nothing like that. I was never bullied. Just the usual stuff.

I

mean,

am I grateful for it?

Made me who I am today.

Being an outsider gave me an advantage because all that time I threw into

I loved the attention.

Your dad must have been so proud.

I think so.

He's not much of a talker.

Would you like to teach your child to play the piano?

I don't play now.

Don't you?

I left music college at the end of the first year, so... Left?

Yeah. I just found it a bit constraining, you know?

I lost a few years to temping.

Until Bedwyn opened Neverland and I decided

to come back to Cardiff.

And that's where I met.

Andy.

Would you... Would you mind if I clicked you?

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said it. No, no.

It's fine.

It's just... No one's ever asked my permission before.

I often say that that kiss saved my life.

Not that it needed saving.

Can I ask you personally, Gabriel, why you want to adopt?

Honestly? Yeah.

Yeah, no, much better to be completely honest in the long run.

OK.

I want to adopt because...

Because I see all these young people having fun, like I used to, and I can't

it anymore.

Because I'm utterly bored with the mundanity of life, the cycle of work and

countless late nights. Because all the men my age in the park seem to have

children now.

Because I love Andy so much, and I know it'll make him happy, but more than

that, I want to adopt, because I think it'll make me a much kinder, tolerant,

patient... person, I'll become less angry and bitter, and I'll have no

but to grow up and care for someone other than myself, and so I'll finally

to remove my head and my damaged, promiscuous, yet still perfectly

arsehole.

You didn't say that.

Of course I didn't. I just said... I honestly think Andy and I have a lot we

offer as parents.

Okay.

Risk of special needs as a result of parental...

Harsh? We both work.

So? Shouldn't we at least be open to it? Every case is different.

We wouldn't have the capacity, and you know it. Jackie said dealing with a

trauma would be hard enough. All right, all right.

Down syndrome.

Wouldn't accept.

This is horrible. Can't we at least... It'd be a bit, St. Andrew.

But what would Mother Teresa do?

Nothing. She's dead.

Regulant people get scanned for anomalies all the time.

Okay, well, what about AIDS or HIV, then?

At first, only gays and IV drug users were being killed by AIDS.

But in three years, nearly 2 ,000 of us will be dead.

Wouldn't accept.

Are you kidding me? It'll complicate things.

It's not complicated.

It'll complication, though.

Try saying that to Berwyn. I'm sure Berwyn would agree.

Well,

it's great to know you're open to discussing most things.

Though I would like to chat through your resistance to meeting the birth

parents.

I was open to it. They're hardly going to be civil if their kids have been

off them. Don't assume anything, Gabe.

Just keep an open mind. See, you'd be able to give your child a fuller picture

of birth mum or dad.

And most adopters find it a really positive experience.

And we all deserve a second chance, don't we?

Why don't I say that you're open to it for now?

OK. I've got a few questions about your support network.

And in terms of family, you've only put Andy's mum down so far.

Won't she do?

Especially because I sometimes think she prefers Gabe to me.

Gabe's just wonderful, isn't he? He's brought so much colour to Andy's life.

And so sensible, you know, he had to grow up fast. But Gabe, he brings all

sparkle.

Did he tell you he studied at a royal college?

Not just any old college, a royal one.

Not that mint of Charles or anything, but always nice to know he approves.

But it would help you, Kate, to put your dad down too.

Otherwise.

They may wonder why you didn't.

I'm phoning with some good news, actually.

How much insurance is this, Nick?

Andy's here with me.

Hang on, I can put you on loudspeaker. No, no, no, by me, no.

We're going to adopt.

We're going to be parents.

Dad?

Would you send me the buttons in your car, Gabrielle?

We just need to educate him.

Hold his hand.

Gabe had loads of nature -nurturing anxieties at the beginning too.

No, I didn't. You kept talking about the omen.

Fears are perfectly normal.

We run workshops for relatives which are really effective at putting people's

minds at rest.

There's some amazing books out there, too.

Sorry, but it's going to take a lot more than a book and a workshop.

You just need to talk to him again.

It'll be fine.

No, Andy, it won't be fine because... He doesn't think that gay men deserve to

be parents.

Has he actually said that?

He doesn't need to.

I honestly don't think it's the gay thing. It's the adoption thing.

Perhaps, Gabriel, you're projecting your anxieties onto your father because

that's what you grew up believing.

Nonsense. I don't believe that.

It's Dad, not me.

Of course I deserve to have children.

In fact, I deserve them far more than he ever did, because mine aren't going to

grow up half as screwed up as I did, because I will make damn sure they know,

whoever they are and whatever they become, that they have absolutely

be ashamed of.

Okay.

Gabriel, there's something you're not telling me.

Is there anything I should know?

What the hell did you go and tell her all of that for?

Last time was years ago.

We dealt with it.

You sorted it out.

You know what your boundaries are.

Right? You never get drunk.

You never touch white wine or Prosecco.

There's no problem anymore.

Exactly.

So it doesn't matter that I told her, does it?

Go up, Gabriel.

Of course it matters.

The only reason kids get adopted nowadays is because their parents are

fucked to look after them.

So why on earth should social services trust us with one when you used to get

trusted fucked up as well?

Sorry. You're right.

Aren't you?

What's the difference?

But you came through it in the end. Only because you could afford to pay for my

therapy.

It hardly seems fair, does it?

Do you even want to adopt?

Because if you don't, then...

Of

course I want to adopt.

Of course I do.

fucked everything up again, haven't I?

Not necessarily.

I talked to my manager and we both agree the fact that you've been honest goes

in your favour.

I mean, I actually think that people who've conquered their addictions can

excellent adopters because they know what it is to live through trauma.

Look, I don't want us to get ahead of ourselves because it will...

Depend on panel, depend on the child social worker. And not everyone's going

necessarily think the way I do. But it's not game over?

I wouldn't carry on if I didn't think I could get you both through this.

I spoke to your therapist this morning and she said... Most gay men his

generation are still dealing with the effects of decades of shame.

But Gabriel's developed several strategies to manage his compulsions.

professional view, I think you'd make an excellent parent.

He never even gets drunk anymore.

Two's the magic number.

Oh, you and me both, love.

Look, I've no doubt you've got so much you can offer a child, Gabe.

Both of you.

So, I think we should just proceed as normal.

If that's what you want.

I'm stopping.

Sorry.

He's Oh,

God. I'm late for court.

Don't worry, I shall see myself out.

And I'll give you a ring in the week. There's, um, an activity day I think you

should go to.

Uh... An activity what?

Activity day, where you get to meet children waiting to be adopted.

Well, I kid you, feed they thing.

Okay.

Please don't let the other social workers hear you call it that.

But we haven't been approved yet.

It'll be after approval.

And I know you'll be sensible and you won't be seduced by superficial factors.

Superficial factors?

How cute they are.

But do they know that's why they're there?

The older ones will.

God, that's awful, isn't it? I wasn't sure about it myself at first, but

placed over a thousand children through them, so... At least consider it.

I'll phone you.

Sweet Pea Dog!

And I know you don't think it's a good idea, but our social worker said that it

could really help.

That's my deal, Gabriel.

The way you're behaving, I thought you were going to tell me that you had

or something.

Please, Dad.

What do you take me for?

I'm hardly going to say no, am I?

It's nice to be asked, actually.

Thank you, Amris.

But, uh... Parenting isn't easy, you

know. I know that. And you could end up with anything.

Thing? Or you...

You know what I mean.

Well, they speak Welsh.

Would that make them more acceptable to you if they did? I don't want to be

ridiculous. Well, there's obviously a problem.

What, Dad?

I just think a child needs a mother.

That's all.

No, Emerus.

Look, I know how tough it must have been for you without none.

But a child doesn't need a mother.

A child needs love.

I don't eat.

I don't sleep. I do nothing but think of you.

You keep me under your spell.

You keep me under your spell. You keep me under your spell.

You keep me under your spell.

Oh, my God.

We're going to be parents.

I feel like a dick.

Oh, great.

All the kids love Superman.

Supergirl, actually, Jackie.

Is that heteronormative of me?

Ignore him. He's bold with a twat when he's nervous.

What's wrong with them?

Sizing up the competition, aren't they?

I imagine we pose a veritable threat.

I think we are.

What

is

cheating? The theme's superheroes.

Prince Charming's not a superhero. Fairy Godmother's not a superhero. They

should be disqualified.

It's not a competition.

Of course it's a fucking competition.

Hello, everybody.

Hello.

Now,

I'm sure you're all feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves.

Maybe a little anxious.

Why the hell are we so lonely at the moment?

Does everybody think we want to procreate?

Now, in these brochures, you'll find all the children's details.

Of course, you'll have your own matching criteria.

And we know that people tend to zone in on their favourite.

But do try and circulate.

Rule yourselves in rather than out.

Today is about seeing if you have an emotional connection with anyone.

So I'll give you all some time to look through them.

Ready?

Okay, everybody, it's almost 10 .30.

I'm sure you're all really keen to get going.

So if you're ready, please come on through.

Let's just wait.

Take your time.

Not to feel the pressure.

Try and talk to them all.

What do you think of this one, though?

She had me at dress -up.

They're wrong, because I want to take her magic wand and shove it up her arse.

Star ends first.

There's plenty of time, boys.

Go on.

Get out there.

Mingle.

Andy, what's your name?

My name's Esme.

Would you like to sit down?

Of course you would.

Hi, Esme.

I'm Gabriel, Andy's partner.

Gabriel? Like the angel? I was Mary.

Were you now?

I bet you were a lovely Mary.

I was, wasn't I, Paula?

You were, sweetheart.

And what are you making there, Esme?

Dinosaur poo.

Splendid. Andy loves nothing more than making dinosaur poo as well, don't you,

Andy?

Oh, yeah.

In fact, many people don't know this, but Andy's actually the second best

dinosaur poo maker in the whole world.

Who's first best, then?

You as mate, of course.

Uh,

where did all that come from?

What?

You were lush.

I mean, the way you just, like... Oh, I freaked out.

God,

this is much harder than I thought.

I know.

But you were an amazing winner.

You made it look so easy.

I'll speak it.

Well, there was no pressure.

Was there?

What do you mean?

Because I knew there was no way that we would ever take her on.

Can I sit here, please? Yes. Oh, thank you.

That's a pretty dress.

Don't mind if we join you, do you?

No.

Look, this matches.

Do you like pink?

My favourite colour.

Yeah, me too.

Excuse me.

Hazel? Yes.

Hi, yes. I was wondering if I might have a quick chat with you and your partner.

Husband.

Husbands, of course.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, town within, I hear you like Annie.

believe we're being upstaged by a bargain basement fairy godmother and a

case of a husband?

When did we become the beige ones?

We're supposed to be quiet in here.

She can't even apply mascara properly. She looks like a massive twat.

Be kind.

You don't know what she's been through. Stop being so bloody nice all the time,

would you? It is annoying.

Shush, no.

Don't.

Don't have a semi now.

Come on.

Let's do one more round.

It's like being back at school and no one wants to play with us.

That's how I feel.

Hi.

How long have you been there?

Since lunchtime.

You do swear a lot.

Well, we didn't think anyone else was in here.

I like spying on people.

Are you a gaze?

Sorry? Because Claire told me they might be gazier.

But I've never met a real one before.

Ta -da!

Claire, is she your foster carer?

Is she around anywhere?

When you kissed, it sounded like you were slurping a giant ice lolly.

It was disgusting.

My fingers and my ears.

Do you have any lollies?

Uh, no.

Sweets?

No. You're not trying very hard, because some of the others have sweets.

You need to bring sweets if you want us to like you.

Fairy Gobbler will have sweets.

She's a massive slut.

What are we doing?

Following him.

Why? I don't know. In case he says anything and we need to explain

Doesn't stoking a child feel a bit pee, do we? No.

Wait, does it?

A bit.

I can't believe he heard us. I can't believe he heard me say I had a semi.

What if he says he heard me say I had a semi? And they don't approve us because

I said I had a semi and he heard me say it. Well, Gabriel, that was kind of

extraordinary. Stop it, I'm serious. I think we just broke all the rules in the

brochure. No more than fairy godmother child catcher. We didn't bribe him, did

we? But we made out in front of him and called one of the other adopters a

fucking twat.

Who's the fucking twat?

Jackie, I think we've done it, boo -boo.

We didn't know he was there.

It's the first rule of parenting.

We know, we know.

Shouldn't we apologise or something?

No, don't worry. Seriously.

I know his social worker, Klinos. Plus, his foster carer, Claire, is a hoot.

He'd be fine.

To be honest, that boy's heard hell of a lot worse.

Did you see his profile?

He's had between one and six.

He's twirled.

Well, he's only just turned seven.

Go on on 40.

Well, you would too if you'd been through what he has.

Anyway, I will speak to his family finder and we'll get him to introduce

Klinos and Claire.

I thought we didn't need to apologise.

Well, you don't.

I just think you should chat with him about Jake.

But he's a boy.

I know.

But keep an open mind.

Because it sounds to me like you've made a connection.

Right. Before I start, which one of you is the mum and which one of you is the

dad?

Sorry?

Got you!

Don't worry, boys.

My daughter's a lesbian.

And when I had my first gay adopters, she kept telling me off for trying to

out which one was the mum and which one was the dad.

But then I realised one was both and the other one was lazy.

So, I hear you're interested in my Jakey.

Yes.

So what can I tell you about Jake?

He's my biggest achievement.

That's what he is.

And you've been doing this for 30 years, I've seen something.

How many is it now?

I think it's around 400 and counting.

Sorry, 400 what?

Children. Shit.

Jake was right.

You do have putty mouths.

Sorry. I'm teasing.

Anyway, some people thought he was unadoptable when he first came to me.

Didn't they, Flynn?

Said he was feral.

Can you imagine that?

Calling a child feral.

He wasn't feral.

He was terrified.

Especially of men.

Wouldn't come near Malcolm. That's my husband.

First couple of weeks.

So then Malcolm started taking him on the school run.

Jake could just about manage that.

Five minutes in the car with him. Belted in the back. We didn't have to look him

in the eye.

But then, by the end of term, Malcolm had him singing along to...

Where do you go to, my lovely?

No way. That's the song Gabe performed the night we met.

Well, there's a sign if ever I heard one.

Voice of an angel Jake has.

Mind you, he can be a right devil too sometimes.

That's nothing you can't handle.

It's all bravado.

He was under the sofa, wasn't he?

Yeah, that'd be right.

He likes to hide in small spaces.

That way he can be sure no one else is in there with him.

But what that boy needs more than anything else is patience, cuddles, and

love.

God, I'm going to miss his cuddles.

I'm going to break my heart when he leaves.

I'd adopt him myself, but I've got six already.

Three of my own, three adopted.

And anyway, two dads will be bloody fantastic for him.

As long as you can keep your hands off each other.

We really are very sorry about all this. Don't be.

Don't ever apologize for showing a child what real love looks like.

You want a minute, boys?

We're all just children, aren't we?

Couldn't we at least take a look at his carby form?

He's seven and a boy and it's complex. We can't just keep moving the goalposts.

I don't see what the problem is. I don't want a boy.

But don't you feel... It's just about feeling. Why do we bother going through

the assessment?

Maybe we should have a look.

Just a look.

I don't know, I don't know.

Just a look.

Jake is an inquisitive, bright child with a vivid imagination.

Out came their very own baby. He's deeply affectionate, but can be

hypervigilant. And his behaviour can sometimes be difficult to manage.

However, this has much improved during placement, and Jake is responding well

praise and firm boundaries.

He's come a long way since he first arrived.

He has a good relationship with both foster carers, demonstrating an ability

form a strong attachment.

Though he still has issues with trust due to his early years

experiences.

EXPERIENCE!

Is violence hereditary?

No.

I don't think so.

Because what if he ends up hurting us?

What if his dad turns up one day and kills us? That's highly unlikely,

isn't it?

Still, there's no way I'd meet them.

They're monsters.

Does that mean that you're... I don't know, and...

So far removed from what we originally specified.

He's a boy. I don't like... You're gay.

I know what they're capable of.

We shouldn't be seduced just because we've met him.

We just need to think about the cold hard fact.

But he isn't the cold hard fact anymore, is he?

I knew this would happen.

I knew that you would get attached.

He's got some really intense needs and... I know, I know.

What would you do, Billy?

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

Wrong gender, though.

Billy was actually a girl.

No, really?

They only found out after she died.

That's the thing.

There's always been a place for everyone in Victoria Park.

No matter what their gender.

What?

You're such a twat.

So think about it.

You talk like Marlene Dietrich.

And you dance like Zizi Jumeirah.

Your clothes are all made by Balmain.

And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair. Yes, there are.

You live in a fancy apartment.

Off the boulevard, down the shelf.

Where you keep your rolling stone record.

And a friend of Sasha is there. Yes, you do.

But where do you go to, my lovely, when you're alone in your bed?

Tell me the thoughts that surround you. I want to look inside your

head, yes I do.

I remember the back streets of Naples, two children

begging in rags.

Both touched with a burning ambition.

To shake off their earthly bond tags they tried.

Don't look into my face Marie Claire.

And remember just who you are.

Then go and forget me forever.

Do it. But I know you still bear the scar deep inside. Yes you do.

you go to my lovely when you're alone in your bed

I know the thoughts that surround you cause I can

look inside