Original subtitles

SubTitles created by Freejack and Whisper-AI

What's up, Jimmy?

Yo, what's up bro? I'm glad you made it!

Dude, what is this? - This is the whole project

I've been working on for weeks, bro. This is the ChronoTron 3,000.

It's our very own time machine, man.

Our very own time machine.

Are you sure, bro?

Yeah. Are you for real? Are you

just gonna erase us from

existence or something, dude?

Are you sure this thing is safe, Jimmy?

Yeah, bro. I'm just dialing up the last few things.

I've checked out all the safety protocols

and it's gonna work. There's nothing gonna go wrong.

We're gonna go back to the year of 1985.

All right. Are you sure we're not gonna just

erase our existence or something, dude?

What? No, bro, I've done tons of research on it.

What happens if I click this button right here though?

I won't do that.

Tell me that. That might be bad, dude.

Gotcha. Come on.

You ready to go back to 1985?

Why 1985? For real?

Come on, man. Why 1985?

Like, 1985 was the pinnacle

of the human race.

It was when the arts and the

sciences and, you know,

everything that we know of was all created.

We get to go back and experience that and learn from

it and become famous and you know fucking

a lot of women and all that you know what I mean?

I mean, shit if you say so.

Oh yeah. By the way, can I see your phone for a second?

Yeah sure all right

gonna download this

little app real quick for you

what the hell all right okay so this is

what's gonna like send us off

all right so we just gotta turn that on

Sure, thing's connected, my seat belt.

Here we go.

This is gonna be our time

machine to get back.

We're just gonna hit that little button

that's gonna send us straight

back to reality.

Whatever you said, bro.

Perfect.

All right, let me download

this real quick.

You're the genius.

All right, you gotta download them.

Top of the year of 1985, and

we are golden.

We're gonna go.

Hold on, before we do this,

how does all this stuff work again?

Are you sure about this?

All right, look, with the frequencies,

the vibrations, the harmonics,

I know you probably wouldn't

understand anything about that,

but look, when it all comes together

and it's all calibrated together,

it makes a time machine,

believe it or not.

And we're about to use it to

go back to 1985. All right.

You ready?

Let's go, I'm ready when you are.

Are you sure about the time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Once that gets downloaded,

We're gonna calibrate these

two together.

So this is gonna calibrate with that.

All right, you ready to go to

that's in 85

Let's do this. You ready

press that button. Just don't kill us.

No, we're good. We're good.

Sure. Yeah, let's go

Here we go

Where the fuck are we?

Dude, we made it. What the?

We're in 1985.

85?

I thought you said 95.

Oh my god.

Bro, you idiot.

How are you going to send us

to the wrong gear?

Might be, bro.

Though, I mean, what the fuck?

Where the fuck are we?

Wait a minute.

I know this couch. That table?

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

wait a minute, wait a minute.

This, this is crazy.

This... Dude, Warren, my

grandma's house from 1995.

What the hell?

I mean, Warren, we think we

were going to spawn honestly.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, do

you hear that? I bet that's my mom.

What?

When she was 18.

She's probably hot.

Right?

Wait a minute.

We gotta be quiet.

Because it could change

everything you first spotted. I mean...

Do you hear that though?

How the hell are we gonna

get out of here?

Let's go check it out. Come on.

Oh shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you see Tommy in algebra class?

I know. So crazy.

He definitely got detention. For sure.

Yeah I don't know I'm not

sure but it was so crazy

like what's wrong with

people yeah I have some

homework and stuff but I

could hang out later yeah

definitely yeah I'm down to

go to the mall I have a lot

of homework though

So, I guess we'll see.

Yeah, it's crazy. Okay, girl.

I'll talk to you later.

I have to go. Okay, bye.

Oh my god.

Joey Lawrence's butt is so

fucking cute.

Like, I would have that man's babies.

Yeah, but he's not Jordan Kenalino.

Oh, my so-called life!

Ooh!

I think I hear my step mom's

voice she's here too so do

you think I'll ever end up

with guys like that he's

saying the boys at our school

they're disgusting not

even kiss worthy much less

you know you know like what

like sex don't be a

prude you know what I mean

that's besides the point boys

are gross so

Oh, what does that mean?

You're a lesbian?

No, I'm not a lesbian.

I kissed a girl once and I

really liked it.

Shut up, liar.

Yeah, it was summer camp,

1993, couple years ago.

And I won't tell you the girl's name,

but we sat up all night long making out

until the sun came up.

I could taste her like cherry

chap stick on my lips

and it was so fucking hot.

And now I masturbate to it

all the time.

It gets the job done.

Oh my gosh.

So, like, what do you think

about when you masturbate? Ew, no.

Come on, do you think about

big, hard, veiny dicks?

Or do you think about sweet,

soft, little pussies? Ew, no.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Well, have you ever even kissed a girl?

No.

No?

Mm-mm.

Well, you don't know until

you try, if you like it.

I don't think I'm into girls.

How about you close your eyes

and we just try it out?

See if you like it.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm just a lesbian.

Dude, I think so.

What the fuck?

What?

Who are you guys and how did

you get in my room?

Um, I mean, who are we?

We're the new neighbors.

We just came by to say hi. Yeah.

New neighbors?

We don't have any new neighbors.

Besides, you don't know how to knock?

My grandma let us in.

You mean your mom let us in?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Well, where did you come from?

We just moved in. Yeah, yeah.

We're like a couple of houses down.

You see us moving all week?

Maybe you guys can like show

us around the new neighborhood.

Okay, so what do you want?

Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

So, these pink guys are kind

of hot, right?

Yeah, but they look really familiar.

Stop being such a dork.

Like, have we met them before?

Yeah, I feel like we've

totally met them before or

something, but...

Let's do this.

We have been waiting for hot

guys to move into our

neighborhood for so long.

This is our chance to lose

our virginity.

Bro, I don't wanna fuck. Are you crazy?

Bro, she's your stepmom.

Oh, fuck it, Mom. Problem solved.

You can fuck my mom.

You think I want you to fuck my mom?

Yeah, that's true.

But like, I swear I've met them before.

Bro, what do you mean, what

do we do now?

This is the opportunity of a lifetime.

We may not get famous, but

we're gonna get laid.

I just can't put my finger

on, like, where they're from.

I don't know, I have a bad

feeling about this.

I mean, we could really mess

up the timeline for real.

What do you mean, dude?

That's what we built the time

machine for.

We can just go back and fix it.

Technically, yes, but...

Are you down, though?

Yeah.

Yes. Okay, cool.

So, one more time.

Hop, hop, hop, bro.

Let's just get laid. Fuck it.

Who cares?

That's literally what we have

the time machine for.

We can fix it. That's true.

Exactly.

Let's just see what happens.

Let's see what they say. We're cool.

We're getting pussy.

Alright.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Bring it in.

Okay, so we decided you guys

are pretty cool and you can hang.

Uh, hang?

Yeah, we'll hang. We'll hang.

So, um, where did you guys come from?

Because those are really weird clothes.

Did you just, like, get off

of work or something?

Um, no, we're just, uh, we're

just, like, influencers, you know?

TikToks and stuff.

TikTok?

TikToks?

It's not even an icon, but

TikToks and all that.

Yeah, we just, we're from

Cali, we're from Cali. Oh, okay.

That's like short for your Cali.

Yeah, I guess so.

You guys can't be hanging out

with us looking like that.

You definitely look like a

couple of dorks.

Dorks?

Really need a makeover.

Makeover!

Okay, sit down. Sit down.

Oh, shh. Be careful there.

Whoa. Oh, shoot.

That's why I know it'll square.

Take this off.

Oh my gosh.

Fuck.

Oh, shoot.

Nice.

Much, much better.

Okay.

Oh my God, I know who they

remind me of now.

Who?

Our brothers.

Oh my God.

They do look exactly like our

older brothers.

Oh my God.

That's so crazy.

Where did you guys say you came from?

Yeah. California. Yeah, California.

California.

Do you guys want a hug?

Bro, your mom wants to fuck.

Bro, you can't do that.

This is our chance.

But we just met these guys. It's okay.

It's fate.

We gotta do it. We can lose

our virginity.

They're gonna be done to fuck.

Bro, you're insane.

We're gonna risk our entire reality.

Bro.

What do you mean? This is

exactly what we came back for.

We're gonna literally get fucking laid.

Just stop being a pussy bag.

I mean, he's totally my type, so...

Okay, fuck it.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Yes!

That's fucking...

Okay, fuck it. Come back.

Fuck it.

Fix everything that happens.

We got this.

Awesome.

Okay, just jump bro, just jump.

Alright, alright, alright.

Let's do it.

I've watched a lot of porn.

I've looked at my dad's VHS tapes.

So it's okay, we got this, I got you.

Okay?

Yes!

I can fix anything.

Okay.

[both chuckle]