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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:20,120 (gentle music) 4 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:48,782 (gentle music continues) 5 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:09,369 - Kiki, I made you this scrapbook, 6 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,073 which I know is a bit weird, 7 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:16,509 but it all means nothing without you, 8 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:21,581 because you are my everything. 9 00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:25,819 It's like my life only started that day 10 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,622 you rode into Clitopolis for that bounty hunting job. 11 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:34,194 I didn't exactly have girls knocking down my door, 12 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:36,830 before you did. 13 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,167 Kind of hard when everyone's obsessed with my moms, 14 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:46,206 the great Leanne and Anne, the lives of the party. 15 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,876 And I'm just there, too. 16 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,046 The most boring royal in the history of Clitopolis, 17 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,682 as voted by the people. 18 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,383 That was a tough day. 19 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,453 But look at me now! 20 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,889 No one ever thought they'd see the day Princess Saira 21 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:05,291 would have a hot as fuck partner. 22 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,427 I can't be exiled to the singles zone 23 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,629 this year's Lesbian Ball. 24 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,764 I know we're a bit of an odd match, 25 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:15,235 like you love travelling, and danger, and partying, 26 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,837 and I'm scared to go anywhere, and of everything, 27 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:20,874 and I'd rather stay home and work on my magic tricks. 28 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,375 But you know what they say? 29 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,077 Opposites attract. 30 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,779 You complete me. 31 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,848 And I know in my heart 32 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,885 we'll be together forever 33 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,653 and ever, 34 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,921 and ever. 35 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,157 - You're dumped. 36 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,825 - Fuck. 37 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,893 (gentle music continues) 38 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,362 ♪ She's a lesbian ♪ 39 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,864 ♪ She's in space ♪ 40 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:49,102 ♪ And she's also a princess ♪ 41 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,537 Oh, and she's very sad. 42 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,540 (Saira crying) 43 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,142 - Look, maybe if things were different 44 00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:57,510 and you were a different person 45 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,045 and I was a different person, 46 00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,713 maybe this could have worked for me. 47 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,616 But you're you, 48 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,419 and I'm me. 49 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,254 - [Saira] I'm sorry. 50 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,956 - Please stop crying. 51 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,425 - I literally can't. 52 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,994 - Hey, it's okay, you'll be all right. 53 00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:17,630 You are really good with your hands. 54 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:19,365 (Kiki moaning) 55 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,168 Oh my God, oh. (moaning) 56 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:25,138 (Kiki moaning) 57 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,473 Oh, you're so good at that. 58 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:29,909 - It's my sleight of hand. 59 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,080 - You're smothering me. 60 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,582 We've only been dating like two weeks, 61 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,517 and you made this terrifying book. 62 00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:39,152 (book clanks) 63 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:39,986 - No. 64 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,956 - I just thought dating a space princess would be more, 65 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,491 ah, fun. 66 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:48,027 I don't wanna Gayflix and chill every night. 67 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,662 - I'm sorry. 68 00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,665 - And the "Sorry"s always with the "Sorry"s. 69 00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:56,336 - Sorry, oh, sorry for being sorry. 70 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,404 (Kiki grunts) 71 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,872 Can we at least still go to the Lesbian Ball together? 72 00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,608 - Absolutely not, I need to get outta here. 73 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:04,811 Goodbye forever. (mimics explosion) 74 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,946 Pretend you saw a smoke bomb and I'm gone. 75 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:11,584 (Saira sniffling) 76 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,021 (gentle music) 77 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,325 Wait, Saira. - Yeah? 78 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,527 - You're wearing my jumper. 79 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,897 - Oh. (crying) 80 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,635 (gentle music) 81 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,606 (Kiki sighs) 82 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:39,279 - Oh man, fuck, that's my jumper, too. 83 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,515 - Mm-hmm. (crying) 84 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,250 - Ugh, you know what? 85 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,451 Keep it, it can be your birthday present. 86 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,153 - [Moms] Yay! 87 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,489 - I will never 88 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,258 take it off. 89 00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:54,060 - Oh. 90 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,962 - Yeah, I gotta get the hell outta here, I'm sorry. 91 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,398 Fuck, ugh, it's contagious, goodbye forever. 92 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,468 I'll miss you so much. 93 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,605 (moms crying) 94 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:08,941 Oh, and of course I'll miss you, too, Royal Pussy. 95 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:12,345 (upbeat music) 96 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:13,846 You always bring the party. 97 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,950 This hurts me more than it hurts you. 98 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,755 - Honestly, I can't believe it lasted that long. 99 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,392 - [Moms] We told you the scrapbook was too much. 100 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:29,062 (upbeat percussive music) 101 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,297 - Okay, so that start was pretty shit house. 102 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:33,733 - But welcome to... 103 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:34,867 (Anne humming) 104 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,536 That's a cool drum roll. 105 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,238 - [Moms] Our birthday party! 106 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:40,673 (audience cheers) 107 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,241 For Saira. 108 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:43,876 - [Audience Member] Oh. 109 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:44,911 (lights buzzing) 110 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,279 (person coughing) 111 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,315 - We can't believe she's 22 today. 112 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,950 - 23. 113 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:54,387 - We can't believe she's 23 today. (sniffles) 114 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,456 - Which means it's that time of the year 115 00:05:56,456 --> 00:06:02,028 where we see if she can finally summon her royal labrys. 116 00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,530 - [Audience Member] Think she'll fail again? 117 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:05,331 - [Audience Member] Is the sky rainbow? 118 00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:07,100 (hawk shrieks) 119 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,968 - For thousands of years, 120 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,971 the Clitopian royal bloodline has been born 121 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:16,609 with the ability to summon one of the most 122 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:21,280 powerful weapons known to l-l-lesbian kind. 123 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,516 - [Moms] The labrys. 124 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:27,553 - Let us now turn to the ancient scriptures of Wikipedia. 125 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:32,125 This all began back on Earth, it says... 126 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,994 - [Leanne] "In the 1970s, the labrys was adopted 127 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:38,398 by the lesbian community as a feminist symbol 128 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,934 representing strength and self-sufficiency." 129 00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,437 - [Anne] The summonings happened first try for us. 130 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,440 But you know what they say, six time's the charm. 131 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,610 - [Moms] Try not to do that over the thinking thing you do. 132 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:51,778 - Wait, what do you mean by that? 133 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,579 - [Moms] Let the summoning begin! 134 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,082 (audience cheers) 135 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,049 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 136 00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:57,950 (Saira groaning) 137 00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:58,851 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 138 00:06:58,851 --> 00:06:59,552 (Saira groaning) 139 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,120 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 140 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,054 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 141 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,089 (Saira groaning) 142 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,023 - [Moms] It's happening. 143 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,358 (Saira groaning) 144 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,259 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 145 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,127 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 146 00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:11,164 (singers vocalising) 147 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,535 (Saira panting) 148 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,904 - Oh. - Oh, for fucks sake. 149 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:22,141 - [Leanne] Oh, sweetie, that was really tough. 150 00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,010 Especially for us. 151 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,947 - [Anne] It is so hard to watch you struggle, 152 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,515 but let's not have it ruin a good party. 153 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,017 Who wants to see us dance? 154 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,019 - [Leanne] I do, I wanna see us dancing. 155 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,788 ♪ Party, party, party, party, party ♪ 156 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:39,425 - [Leanne] Great dancing! 157 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:41,160 (birds chirp) 158 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,830 (sombre music) 159 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:53,973 ♪ Really, really, really sad ♪ 160 00:07:56,576 --> 00:08:00,513 ♪ Really, really, really sad ♪ 161 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:05,685 - [Saira] Kiki, ever since you've disappeared, 162 00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:08,488 who else can I talk to? 163 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,689 I'm lost. 164 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:17,730 When you left, you took everything with you. 165 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,567 The absence of you is everywhere I look. 166 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,569 ♪ Really, really, really sad ♪ 167 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,404 - [Saira] It's like a huge hole 168 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,173 has been pumped through my chest. 169 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,911 (Saira screaming) 170 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:34,780 But in a way, I'm glad. 171 00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,217 The pain is my only reminder that you were real. 172 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,155 (dramatic music) 173 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:46,158 (damsel whimpering) 174 00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:53,599 (Kiki laughs) 175 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:54,500 (gun zaps) 176 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,135 (damsel yelps) 177 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,271 (damsel whimpers) 178 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,140 (dramatic music) 179 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:10,716 - Kiki the Destroyer, for all your bounty hunting needs. 180 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,752 Hmm. 181 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,253 Couldn't you just watch me, like, all day? 182 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:17,223 Kapow. 183 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,525 (phone chiming) 184 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:20,660 Fuck, I'm good. 185 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:25,565 (door slams) 186 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,600 Yeah, no, this is my room. 187 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,001 (women screaming) 188 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:33,172 Take them, not me, what the fuck! 189 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:34,774 (Kiki panting) 190 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:38,110 No, no, no, no, please, I'm too hot to die. 191 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,881 (tense music) 192 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,792 What the fuck? 193 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,328 Where am I? 194 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,763 Oh, what is this? 195 00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,433 (Malien laughing) 196 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:05,671 - [Malien] Welcome to our cave, that is our toxic home brew. 197 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:07,473 - [Kiki] Who the hell are you? 198 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:08,841 - Who are we? 199 00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:13,112 We're the Straight White Maliens. 200 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,947 (intense music) 201 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,983 - Who? - Oh, come on. 202 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,317 - Are you, are you serious? 203 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:19,785 The Straight White Maliens. 204 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,354 We used to be the most powerful beings 205 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,488 in the whole universe. 206 00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,223 - Who? 207 00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:26,592 - Yeah, of course, everyone has forgotten about us. 208 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,561 Everyone! 209 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:31,097 - You stripped our ancestors of all their power and you, 210 00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:34,000 you left our kind for dead. 211 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,203 - And we were exiled to this man cave. 212 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:41,507 But we've had a gut full of being pushed us bloody side. 213 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:43,075 - I'm getting upset. 214 00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:45,011 - You don't wanna see us upset right now. 215 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:49,415 - Oh, you don't want to see us get bloody. (mumbling) 216 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,183 - It's not good. 217 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:53,686 - Let me guess, you wanna rule the world again? 218 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:56,422 - No, wrong, incorrect. 219 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,590 - Then what do you want from me? 220 00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,258 - [Malien] You? 221 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,893 This isn't about you. 222 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,429 - [Malien] You are just the bait. 223 00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,098 - What? 224 00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,833 - You see, we can't get the hot chicks anymore. 225 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,469 So for thousands of years we've been slaving 226 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,304 over building this chick magnet. 227 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,273 (chicken clucks) 228 00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:15,808 But Larry fucked it up! 229 00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:17,309 - Well, I don't hear you complaining when you eat 230 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:18,911 these delicious, fresh eggs every morning, 231 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,346 - Your eggs are shit! 232 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,114 You know those eggs are shit! 233 00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,984 - What are you gonna feed the chicks when we get 'em? 234 00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,153 - Anyway, shut up, I'm gonna feed the chicks our- 235 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,888 Oh no, wait, that makes a lot of sense. 236 00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,056 - [Larry] Thank you. 237 00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,924 - Anyways, long story short, 238 00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:34,994 we ended up buying a new Swedish chick magnet online. 239 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,697 - But when it arrived, what did we discover? 240 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,732 The bloody battery's not included. 241 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:42,201 - Oh, hate that. - Yeah, I do hate that. 242 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,170 (Josh mumbling) 243 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:48,708 - And according to the manual, the battery is Princess Saira 244 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,311 of Clitopolis's royal labrys. 245 00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,047 What the fuck? 246 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,749 - That seems weirdly specific. 247 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,751 - It's so stupid! 248 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,720 Especially because we can't get past 249 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,522 that dumb Safety Bubble protecting gay space. 250 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:07,359 And that little princess is some sort of weird shut in. 251 00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:10,229 It says she literally never goes anywhere. 252 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:13,065 - Literally never. 253 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,735 - But according to the manual, there is one thing 254 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,371 that could lure her out of gay space. (giggling) 255 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,974 (tense music) 256 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,549 (phone ringing) 257 00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,118 - Kiki, finally. 258 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,220 Wait, oh my God, where are you? 259 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:38,190 - Saira, you gotta help me, I've been captured by these 260 00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,659 things called Straight White Maliens. 261 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,728 - Who? - Oh, fuck you! 262 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:45,297 Now listen, princess, we need your royal labrys. 263 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:46,665 - What, why? 264 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,400 - For super tough cool dude stuff. 265 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,503 - So if you don't want us to drown your beloved Kiki 266 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,139 in our toxic home brew, you will bring it here, 267 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:58,611 to the worst, most dangerous place in the universe. 268 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,112 (Saira gasps) 269 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,480 - But- - Saira, please tell me 270 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,249 you actually have the labrys. 271 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,720 (mantle chimes) 272 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,054 - Oh yeah, totally, I've got it. 273 00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,656 Yeah, it's, it's not on me right now, 274 00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:11,824 but I definitely have it. 275 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,793 - Oh, thank God. 276 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,796 - Great, bring it here in the next 24 hours and come alone, 277 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,931 or lover girl is going down, 278 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:22,134 or should I say going drown? (cackling) 279 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,035 - Oh. 280 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:26,038 (group cackling) 281 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:29,608 - Going drown. (cackling) 282 00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:31,443 (group cackling) 283 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,179 (timer beeps) 284 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:38,350 - Kiki, Kiki! (whimpering) 285 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:48,327 (Saira grunting) 286 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,598 (Saira crying) 287 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,874 - [Monster] Why did you do that? 288 00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:04,443 You'll never summon the labrys. 289 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:09,515 The only royal to fail at this simple tradition. 290 00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:13,986 You're a disappointment to your moms. 291 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:17,823 To everyone. (laughs) 292 00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,359 Kiki's doomed because of you. 293 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:25,931 If you weren't broken, you would have your labrys. 294 00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,910 (ominous music) 295 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,482 (mouse clicking) 296 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:47,386 (keyboard clicking) 297 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:54,126 (keyboard clicking) 298 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,530 (keyboard clicking) 299 00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:06,438 - [Poster] Can't believe Kiki was with her. 300 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:07,907 - [Poster] Saira sucks. 301 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,742 - [Poster] How can you be a princess, 302 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,243 and not even like to party? - [Poster] Saira still sucks. 303 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,345 - [Poster] I heard she's straight. 304 00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:14,480 - [Poster] Ew. 305 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:20,052 (Saira sighs) 306 00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,388 - [Blade] You all need to give her a break. 307 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,990 No wonder she can't summon her labrys. 308 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:28,360 She should come to my club, I can help. 309 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,531 Blade, your resident weapons expert, kisses, motherfucker. 310 00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,566 (Saira gasps) 311 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:38,370 (keyboard clicking) 312 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:42,875 ♪ Now it is cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, yeah, yeah ♪ 313 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:47,112 ♪ To be queer, to be queer ♪ 314 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,715 (tense music) 315 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,386 (Saira grunts) 316 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,988 (fist thumping) 317 00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:58,023 - [Anne] Saira, we left some food outside, okay? 318 00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,892 It's a banh mi. 319 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,294 - [Leanne] Also, honey, we, we hate to bring it up, but- 320 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,029 - [Anne] We put you down as single 321 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,098 for the Lesbian Ball tomorrow night. 322 00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:11,203 (upbeat music) 323 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,607 - No need, I'll be going with Kiki. 324 00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:17,242 (moms sigh) 325 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:18,510 - [Leanne] Oh, thank God she's taken you back. 326 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:19,678 - [Anne] Oh my goodness. 327 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:21,246 - [Leanne] That is a relief. 328 00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:23,682 - [Anne] Oh, it's just so, so sad to be single. 329 00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,551 Well, we can only imagine it is. 330 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,720 - [Moms] Never done it, never want to. 331 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,688 - Like everyone can see it, 332 00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,790 'cause there's no one standing next to you, 333 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,525 and when someone's single, 334 00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:36,862 you just imagine them in a food court, by themselves. 335 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,865 - Eating alone, chatting to the cleaner 336 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:41,834 who doesn't even want to talk to you. 337 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,803 She's got her own life, she's not bothered with you. 338 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:46,872 You look sad, sad, sad, sad. 339 00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,807 (Anne retches) 340 00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,376 - [Anne] Okay, well, we'll pop the two of you on the list. 341 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,144 - [Leanne] So glad you've got a girlfriend. 342 00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:54,947 - [Anne] And you're not alone. 343 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,683 (gentle music) 344 00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:02,755 ♪ Looking for an awesome spaceship ♪ 345 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:07,693 ♪ To take me where I need ♪ 346 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:09,428 ♪ To go ♪ 347 00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,396 - [Saira] Oh. 348 00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,103 (gentle music) 349 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,572 ♪ 'Cause if I had an awesome spaceship ♪ 350 00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:22,775 - Mm-mm. 351 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,811 ♪ I just might make it ♪ 352 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,080 - Whoa, awesome. 353 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,683 ♪ Where I need to go ♪ 354 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,221 (mystical music) 355 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:44,229 - Hey, who's there? 356 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,232 (Saira screaming) 357 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,174 (Saira grunting) 358 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,775 (ship beeping) 359 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:59,511 - Uh-oh. 360 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,246 (ship blasting) 361 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,116 (Saira grunts) 362 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:09,555 Huh? 363 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:12,658 Huh? 364 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,495 (tense music) 365 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:18,497 Oh, no. 366 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:30,409 (Ship coughing) 367 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:33,112 - [Ship] Ugh, I thought I was never gonna get off 368 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,646 planet of the lesbos. 369 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:35,747 - Who's there? 370 00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,282 - It's me, the ship. 371 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:42,254 You don't wanna know how long I've been trapped down there, 372 00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:43,655 the things I've seen. 373 00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,025 What's your name, sir? 374 00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:48,627 - Saira. 375 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,762 - [Ship] That sounds like a girl's name. 376 00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,832 - I am a girl. - [Ship] What? 377 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:55,467 Girls can't be pilots. 378 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,439 - Yeah, this was a mistake, take me back please. 379 00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:03,542 - Here's what I'll do, I'll be your temporary ship. 380 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,310 I'll drop you off at a nail salon 381 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,246 and we'll go our separate ways. 382 00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,549 So, Sahara, where are you from? 383 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:11,984 - Clitopolis. 384 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,620 - Yeah, but like where are you from? 385 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,089 - The palace? 386 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,790 - No, no, no, where are you really from? 387 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,594 - Well, my cultural heritage is half Clitopian, 388 00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:23,595 and half Indian. 389 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,366 - Namaste. 390 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:35,674 - [Saira] Hey, please turn around, you don't understand. 391 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,243 I, I've never been outside of the- 392 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:40,279 - Oh God, that was an awful night. 393 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:43,315 I hope that Shetland pony survived. 394 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:46,652 Oh my God, this fucking song again. (gasps) 395 00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:51,423 ♪ See my face, I'm the Safety Bubble ♪ 396 00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:56,461 ♪ That stops all the trouble getting into gay space ♪ 397 00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:58,864 Hey daddy. 398 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,566 - [Ship] Huh? 399 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:04,970 - I am Safety Bubble, fierce protector of gay space. 400 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,472 They say space is a vacuum, but nothing sucks like me. 401 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:08,640 What are you doing? 402 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,409 - [Ship] Oh, let us out of here. 403 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:12,411 - Why the hell would you want to go out there? 404 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,746 It's straight, also, it's like way dangerous or whatever. 405 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:17,416 Or as they say in German. (mumbles indistinctly) 406 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:19,651 - [Ship] Danger is my middle name, baby. 407 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,154 - Ew, how did you even get in here? 408 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,255 You can definitely leave. 409 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:26,358 (Safety Bubble screaming) 410 00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:28,093 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 411 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,762 - [Ship] Yes, sweet freedom! 412 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,464 Beautiful, isn't it? 413 00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:34,733 (explosion blasts) 414 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,235 - [Saira] Oh, no. 415 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,269 - [Girlfriend] Babe, what's for dinner? 416 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:38,403 - [Boyfriend] Chicken. 417 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,871 (couple screaming) 418 00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,340 - [Saira] Oh, no. 419 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,342 - This one's for my bodacious baby. 420 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:49,348 ♪ Baby girl, let's go on adventures ♪ 421 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,384 ♪ Til the day we're in dentures ♪ 422 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:55,020 ♪ And grow old, stay young ♪ 423 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,457 ♪ I know you're the one ♪ 424 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,461 I love you, baby girl. 425 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:04,863 - It's worse than I ever imagined. 426 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:12,504 ♪ Approximately 23 hours left ♪ 427 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,906 - Okay, okay, now there are gonna be a lot 428 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:17,476 of really hot chicks coming in here soon. 429 00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,944 - Yeah. - And we need to learn 430 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:22,014 how to charm them bloody heck out of 'em. 431 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,248 - Mm. 432 00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,416 - Now Josh is our expert speaker 433 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,451 for today. - Hi. 434 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:28,987 - He was once successful in getting a woman's number. 435 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:30,889 Now we don't know what happened after that. 436 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:34,159 We called the number and the line was dead. 437 00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:36,194 I dunno if Josh mistook it down. 438 00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:37,362 - No, phone companies. 439 00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,865 - Phone company sort of going, 440 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,801 maybe playing tricky business, maybe doing- 441 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,536 - Tricky business. 442 00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:45,871 - Maybe tricky business was going on, some sort of- 443 00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:47,506 - Tricky business. 444 00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:48,540 - Some sort of tricky business was going on 445 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:49,741 with the phone companies. 446 00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,610 Number didn't work. - Yeah. 447 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:54,846 - Obviously, phone companies playing tricky business. 448 00:21:54,846 --> 00:21:57,316 Still, huge achievement. 449 00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,786 And now Josh is gonna come and he's gonna tell everyone here 450 00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:04,456 what you know about talking to chicks. 451 00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:07,492 - All right, gents, boys, thanks for having me. 452 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,294 - [Malien] Josh. 453 00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:10,095 - Show of hands, who wants to meet a chick? 454 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,663 - Me. 455 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,632 - Hands up if you don't know the process 456 00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:15,667 of how to go about that, 457 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,170 who wants to walk outta here today with chicks in hand? 458 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,438 - Ooh. - [Malien] Yeah. 459 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:20,639 - Yeah. - [Malien] Fuck yeah. 460 00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,442 - Now, take note boys, all right? 461 00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:25,944 Act like you are listening and then interject 462 00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:29,781 over the top of it, that gets the chicks ticking. 463 00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:32,384 Don't let 'em get a word in edgeways, with me. 464 00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:35,220 - [Maliens] Don't let 'em get a word in edgeways. 465 00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:37,823 - Let them know how much Reddit karma you have, as well. 466 00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:40,826 - I have a lot of opinions on Marvel movies. 467 00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:42,361 Would, would they be interested in them? 468 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,629 - They'll love that. 469 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,632 - Okay, firstly, if you want a chick to like you, 470 00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:49,634 you need to connect with them. 471 00:22:49,634 --> 00:22:52,604 Ask questions and listen, 472 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,741 no matter how boring the answers are. 473 00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:59,311 And secondly, let me go now and no one will get hurt. 474 00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:02,547 But if you don't, when I get myself loose, 475 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:07,619 I will kill every single one of you. 476 00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:13,759 - What did she say? 477 00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:18,997 - Please take me back, this was a mistake. 478 00:23:18,997 --> 00:23:22,200 - What, aren't you excited to get your nails done? 479 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,635 - I don't wanna get my nails done. 480 00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:25,570 I have to keep them short, anyway. 481 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:28,607 - Oh God, well, where can I drop you then, Pilates? 482 00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,709 Supermarket? 483 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:32,210 Why did you even board me 484 00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,478 if you don't want to go anywhere? 485 00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:36,081 - Well, I thought- - Come on. 486 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,517 You can't stay with me and I'm not taking you back. 487 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:41,386 So pick somewhere, chop chop. 488 00:23:41,386 --> 00:23:43,622 - S Club. - I can't hear you. 489 00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:47,826 - Do you know where S Club 17 is? 490 00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:52,230 - The party hub, now you're talking. 491 00:23:53,031 --> 00:23:55,934 I can't remember how to get there, though. 492 00:23:57,702 --> 00:23:58,570 Hmm. 493 00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,473 I have a good feeling about this way. 494 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,709 (Saira whimpers) 495 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:07,179 Such a strong feeling about this way. 496 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,315 Don't even think about it. 497 00:24:10,882 --> 00:24:14,386 Now, what takes you to S Club 17, hmm? 498 00:24:14,886 --> 00:24:17,222 - I need to find a way to summon my royal labrys. 499 00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:20,892 - Whoa, yeah, say no more, I know that part of the vagina. 500 00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:22,627 - And then I need to go to the worst, 501 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:25,430 most dangerous place in the universe. 502 00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:26,598 (Ship shrieking) 503 00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:28,133 - What, are you mental? 504 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,502 - I don't think people say that anymore. 505 00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:34,239 - I'll take you to S Club 17, but no further. 506 00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:35,740 - But my girlfriend is there. 507 00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:38,043 - What the fuck is your friend doing there? 508 00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:41,012 - She's in trouble and she's my girlfriend. 509 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:42,914 - Yeah, like a girl who's a friend. 510 00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:46,952 - Like, my partner, I'm literally from Clitopolis. 511 00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:48,086 - Oh, yeah. 512 00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:51,857 - She used to be my girlfriend, at least. 513 00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:54,860 - Wait, so she's your ex? 514 00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:59,297 - Well, technically yes, but maybe if I can save her- 515 00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:01,800 - Oh God, this, this is pathetic. 516 00:25:04,402 --> 00:25:07,172 (upbeat music) 517 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,743 ♪ Here I go ♪ 518 00:25:11,743 --> 00:25:15,847 ♪ Leaving everything I know ♪ 519 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:20,452 ♪ Because I would go to the edge of space for you ♪ 520 00:25:20,452 --> 00:25:25,524 ♪ Just to hear you say you love me too ♪ 521 00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:27,659 ♪ I'm so scared of being alone ♪ 522 00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:29,794 ♪ Don't wanna end up on my own ♪ 523 00:25:29,794 --> 00:25:31,863 ♪ Live my whole life on a throne ♪ 524 00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:34,666 ♪ Now head into the great unknown ♪ 525 00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:37,502 - Fuck, what am I doing? 526 00:25:37,502 --> 00:25:41,540 ♪ Oh, no ♪ 527 00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:45,010 ♪ Okay, here I go ♪ 528 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:48,113 ♪ Here I go ♪ 529 00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:52,851 ♪ Leaving everything I know, 'cause I- ♪ 530 00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:55,253 - [Ship] Oh, hello! 531 00:25:55,253 --> 00:25:57,722 No one actually goes the speed limit, poofter. 532 00:25:57,722 --> 00:25:59,524 - You definitely can't say that anymore. 533 00:25:59,524 --> 00:26:02,093 (tense music) 534 00:26:05,096 --> 00:26:06,298 (ship thumps) 535 00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:08,533 - Oh, what is their problem? 536 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:11,503 Oh, these guys have been rude. 537 00:26:11,503 --> 00:26:12,270 What do you think you're doing? 538 00:26:12,270 --> 00:26:13,338 - Sorry! 539 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,540 - [Ship] Mutiny, mutiny! 540 00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:18,877 I was distracted, for not even one second, 541 00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:21,246 and you have gone and couped me. 542 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,481 I am a man, and I have rights. 543 00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:28,687 My old pilots were right, and you just cannot trust women. 544 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,290 (Ship and Saira screaming) 545 00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:39,831 I'm hurt, I'm hurt, now what are we gonna do? 546 00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:43,201 We're gonna die out here, I told you not to drive. 547 00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:44,970 - Sorry. 548 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,237 - [Ship] You are covering my insurance premiums, 549 00:26:46,237 --> 00:26:47,973 okay, from now on. 550 00:26:47,973 --> 00:26:52,043 - [Saira] Maybe there's moon crystals on this moon? 551 00:26:53,912 --> 00:26:56,081 - [Ship] Even if there was, we don't have anyone capable, 552 00:26:56,081 --> 00:26:59,651 brave, or strong enough to find them. 553 00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:02,787 - Yeah, sorry. 554 00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:08,059 - Sweet, sweet freedom, only to get stuck somewhere else 555 00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:08,960 shitty. 556 00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:14,299 (gentle music) 557 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:19,004 - What if I went? - [Ship] You? 558 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,773 Ugh, yeah right. 559 00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:24,209 - Well, just sitting here isn't going to help. 560 00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:25,276 How bad could it- 561 00:27:25,276 --> 00:27:27,912 (eerie music) 562 00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:33,852 Be? (gulps) 563 00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:43,495 Oh, thank God. 564 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,697 - It's gone. - [Saira] Oh. 565 00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:48,867 - If you'd have been here two years ago. 566 00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:55,907 It's just me, I'm gonna go over this way. 567 00:27:57,342 --> 00:27:58,843 There's nothing here. 568 00:28:01,613 --> 00:28:04,215 (Saira screams) 569 00:28:04,215 --> 00:28:05,984 Oh, you found a hole. 570 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,756 Ugh, make a friend, lost a friend. 571 00:28:11,756 --> 00:28:14,325 (Saira cries) 572 00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:18,063 - Huh? 573 00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:22,934 ♪ One single moon crystal ♪ 574 00:28:22,934 --> 00:28:27,038 ♪ Look at it shine ♪ 575 00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:31,710 ♪ I want that moon crystal ♪ 576 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,412 ♪ To be mine ♪ 577 00:28:34,412 --> 00:28:39,350 ♪ Oh, moon crystal ♪ 578 00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:42,620 ♪ Moon crystal ♪ 579 00:28:42,620 --> 00:28:46,624 ♪ Oh, moon ♪ 580 00:28:46,624 --> 00:28:49,027 ♪ Crystal ♪ 581 00:28:49,027 --> 00:28:50,528 - Yes. 582 00:28:50,528 --> 00:28:52,831 - So shiny, right? 583 00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:54,699 (tense music) 584 00:28:54,699 --> 00:28:57,435 (Saira screams) 585 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:06,778 - Please don't hurt me. 586 00:29:06,778 --> 00:29:09,047 - Whoa, do I look like I'm going to hurt you? 587 00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:14,452 Oh, the goth thing? 588 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:17,322 Oh, it's just a look, I'm not going to hurt you. 589 00:29:17,322 --> 00:29:18,623 I thought you could hear me singing 590 00:29:18,623 --> 00:29:20,191 that moon crystal song. 591 00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:22,127 - What? 592 00:29:22,127 --> 00:29:24,863 Listen, I crashed my ship and I need this moon crystal. 593 00:29:24,863 --> 00:29:28,600 My girlfriend's, well, technically ex-girlfriend's 594 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,168 life depends on it. 595 00:29:30,168 --> 00:29:32,137 - My goodness, you've got a lot on your plate. 596 00:29:32,137 --> 00:29:34,339 Look, I'm just sorry for scaring you. 597 00:29:34,339 --> 00:29:36,441 - Oh, sorry. 598 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,243 - Why are you sorry? 599 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,310 - I don't know. 600 00:29:40,912 --> 00:29:42,380 (footsteps patter) 601 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:43,414 - Enough apologies. 602 00:29:44,716 --> 00:29:47,519 (magical music) 603 00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:55,093 I'm so glad you are here. 604 00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:57,428 I came to this moon to write my solo album, 605 00:29:57,428 --> 00:29:58,930 but I fell down a hole. 606 00:29:58,930 --> 00:30:00,465 - I fell down a hole, too. 607 00:30:01,499 --> 00:30:03,034 - We have so much in common. 608 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:05,804 I'm Willow. 609 00:30:06,070 --> 00:30:09,808 - I'm Princess Saira of Clitopolis. 610 00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:12,544 - Whoa, a princess. 611 00:30:13,511 --> 00:30:16,247 Also, I hear that place is famously hard to find. 612 00:30:16,247 --> 00:30:19,484 - It's actually not, if you know what you're doing. 613 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:22,987 - Well, maybe you could show me the way sometime? 614 00:30:25,623 --> 00:30:28,793 I mean, if we can ever figure out how to get out of here, 615 00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:32,597 let me tell you, I've been down here a while 616 00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:34,532 and there's no obvious way out. 617 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:40,872 - I'm not sure if this will help, but what if we use that? 618 00:30:40,872 --> 00:30:44,475 (singers vocalising) 619 00:30:44,475 --> 00:30:46,377 - I did not see that. 620 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,915 (Saira grunts) 621 00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:53,117 - Gross, what is this? 622 00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:55,587 - I feel like I should know what that is. 623 00:30:55,587 --> 00:30:58,923 Weird, it wasn't here before you broke the crystal. 624 00:30:58,923 --> 00:31:01,259 (ominous music) 625 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:04,529 - Great, so this is my fault. 626 00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:08,032 (Saira grunts) 627 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:10,735 - It's okay, look, these things happen. 628 00:31:10,735 --> 00:31:12,203 Here, let me help you. 629 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:14,405 - Why is everything always so hard? 630 00:31:15,340 --> 00:31:16,341 (Saira grunts) 631 00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:17,542 - You are so emo. 632 00:31:19,344 --> 00:31:21,145 I love it! 633 00:31:21,145 --> 00:31:23,982 - Why did I think a reject like me could do anything? 634 00:31:23,982 --> 00:31:25,216 (Saira grunts) 635 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:27,151 - Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. 636 00:31:27,151 --> 00:31:29,420 - Why is it not targeting you? 637 00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:30,822 - I don't know. 638 00:31:30,822 --> 00:31:33,124 Wow, I'm really grateful for that. 639 00:31:33,124 --> 00:31:36,594 - You're like, annoyingly positive. 640 00:31:36,594 --> 00:31:37,729 (Willow laughs) 641 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:38,897 - Thanks for saying that. 642 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,132 - Wait, maybe it's responding 643 00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,601 to me being negative about myself. 644 00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:48,706 ♪ Gloom goo, do-do-do-do ♪ 645 00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:52,610 ♪ Gloom goo, do-do-do-do ♪ 646 00:31:52,610 --> 00:31:55,980 ♪ If you give it bad vibes ♪ 647 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:59,350 ♪ It will eat you alive ♪ 648 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,890 Sorry, I remember now, we sang a song about this. 649 00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:07,625 It's this incredibly dangerous sentient goo 650 00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:09,060 that feeds on bad vibes. 651 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:12,864 - So I should just say something 652 00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:15,733 positive about myself, right? 653 00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:16,668 - Great idea. 654 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:21,205 Come on, quick. 655 00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:22,073 - I, 656 00:32:25,576 --> 00:32:26,644 I don't know. 657 00:32:28,746 --> 00:32:30,281 - You don't know? 658 00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:32,583 Saira? 659 00:32:33,718 --> 00:32:34,619 Saira! 660 00:32:35,753 --> 00:32:37,522 (ominous music) 661 00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:39,390 Really good at holding a conversation, 662 00:32:39,390 --> 00:32:41,526 and I can write a song about basically anything. 663 00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:44,696 I did a great job coordinating my spikes and chains today, 664 00:32:44,696 --> 00:32:47,665 I have the voice of an angel, my eyebrows are great, 665 00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:49,200 and also my guitar, 666 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,135 my public speaking has never been better. 667 00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:52,603 I'm ambitious, and I'm brave. 668 00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:54,105 And if I was a Pokemon, 669 00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:55,974 I'd be a freaking Pikachu, I'm that cute. 670 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:59,510 (playful music) 671 00:33:00,778 --> 00:33:03,448 (Saira grunts) 672 00:33:09,554 --> 00:33:10,855 (Saira grunts) 673 00:33:10,855 --> 00:33:13,291 - [Saira] No, the crystal. 674 00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:15,259 - [Willow] Just forget it, keep going. 675 00:33:15,259 --> 00:33:18,997 - Stupid, stupid, stupid, I needed that crystal. 676 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,465 I couldn't do it. 677 00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:22,233 - [Willow] Stop, you're encouraging it. 678 00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:26,804 It's gonna blow! 679 00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:27,905 - [Ship] What did you do? 680 00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:29,640 - I'm sorry. 681 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,809 - [Ship] Please tell me you've got the moon crystal. 682 00:33:31,809 --> 00:33:33,077 - Yes. 683 00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:34,078 - [Ship] Oh, that's a relief. 684 00:33:34,078 --> 00:33:36,714 - But then I lost it. 685 00:33:36,714 --> 00:33:40,818 - [Ship] I knew you couldn't do it, you idiot! 686 00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:44,022 Now we're completely fucked! 687 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:47,291 - Oh man, it's a shame we can't use that one. 688 00:33:50,595 --> 00:33:51,729 (goo blasting) 689 00:33:51,729 --> 00:33:53,398 Where to next? 690 00:33:53,398 --> 00:33:54,932 I'm driving. 691 00:33:54,932 --> 00:33:56,634 - [Ship] Where the fuck did she come from? 692 00:33:56,634 --> 00:33:57,835 - [Willow] They. 693 00:33:57,835 --> 00:33:59,537 - [Ship] There's more than one? 694 00:33:59,537 --> 00:34:04,642 ♪ Approximately 18 hours left before ♪ 695 00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:09,347 ♪ Kiki dies ♪ 696 00:34:09,347 --> 00:34:11,949 - Okay, so just remember when your permanent is tapped, 697 00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:15,520 you can't tap that card again until it's been untapped. 698 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,656 - And only when your turn begins. 699 00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:23,094 When your turn begins, then you can untap your tap cards 700 00:34:23,094 --> 00:34:24,562 so they can be used again. 701 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:25,663 Do you understand? 702 00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:27,098 (Kiki pants) 703 00:34:27,098 --> 00:34:28,399 - Oh, and there are different phases 704 00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:29,734 each with their own set of rules. 705 00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:31,235 So the beginning phase rules- 706 00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:34,205 - Please, stop, if you don't stop, 707 00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:36,707 I'm going to make you stop, I mean it. 708 00:34:36,707 --> 00:34:40,745 I really am going to get myself loose any minute now. 709 00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:44,882 - Why can't you chicks ever like what we like? 710 00:34:44,882 --> 00:34:46,451 Now about the beginning phase. 711 00:34:46,451 --> 00:34:48,853 - Ooh, yes, the beginning phase. 712 00:34:48,853 --> 00:34:51,456 (Kiki sobbing) 713 00:34:51,456 --> 00:34:54,292 - Wait, so you need this labrys thing to save Kiki, 714 00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:56,360 and your only hope is that this Blade person 715 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,096 that you found on the future net, 716 00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,730 and know nothing about, will be able to help? 717 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,366 - Yeah, I know, it's- 718 00:35:02,366 --> 00:35:05,903 - Such a good plan. 719 00:35:05,903 --> 00:35:07,171 - [Ship] Is it, though? 720 00:35:09,173 --> 00:35:12,577 Hey, be careful, go straight, go straight. 721 00:35:12,577 --> 00:35:14,212 - Typical. 722 00:35:14,212 --> 00:35:16,614 I'll have you know, I'm actually bisexual. 723 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:18,816 - [Ship] Are bisexuals really a thing? 724 00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:22,520 - Where did you find this thing, the 21st century? 725 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,756 - Yeah, that is where I'm from. 726 00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:27,425 - [Both] Oh. 727 00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:30,194 - Hey, thanks for saving me back there. 728 00:35:30,194 --> 00:35:33,664 - Oh, no, thank you, that was a thrill. 729 00:35:33,664 --> 00:35:37,101 Besides, I might not have found that ladder without you. 730 00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,170 I'm not super observant. 731 00:35:39,170 --> 00:35:41,772 Or book smart or street smart. 732 00:35:41,772 --> 00:35:44,308 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Why? 733 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:47,445 It's not a bad thing, I'm just smart in other ways. 734 00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:49,447 Like I'm super creative. 735 00:35:49,447 --> 00:35:51,115 - That's right, you're a songwriter? 736 00:35:51,115 --> 00:35:54,285 - Trying to be, you see... 737 00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:56,320 - [Ship] Oh, oh, oh, you better not sing it. 738 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,189 (guitar strums) 739 00:35:58,189 --> 00:35:59,857 (gentle music) 740 00:35:59,857 --> 00:36:04,795 ♪ I was in a gay pop band ♪ 741 00:36:06,197 --> 00:36:11,402 ♪ We were in high demand ♪ 742 00:36:12,470 --> 00:36:16,607 ♪ We'd dance and sing and dance ♪ 743 00:36:16,607 --> 00:36:21,245 ♪ Our life great, at a glance ♪ 744 00:36:21,245 --> 00:36:25,283 ♪ But really, we were prisoners of gay pop ♪ 745 00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:29,654 ♪ Forced to dance and sing nonstop ♪ 746 00:36:29,654 --> 00:36:34,125 ♪ But somehow to me, it all felt wrong ♪ 747 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:37,728 ♪ I dreamed to write not shared songs ♪ 748 00:36:37,728 --> 00:36:42,833 ♪ So I decided I would break free ♪ 749 00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:50,608 ♪ Become the songwriter I always wanted to be ♪ 750 00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:53,911 ♪ Hmm ♪ 751 00:37:02,086 --> 00:37:03,854 - Wow. - [Ship] Fuck my life. 752 00:37:03,854 --> 00:37:06,824 - They never used to let me play my own songs. 753 00:37:06,824 --> 00:37:07,925 They said they were too 754 00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:10,261 indie. 755 00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:13,931 Now, I finally get to figure out my own music 756 00:37:13,931 --> 00:37:15,499 separate from the group. 757 00:37:15,499 --> 00:37:17,735 I thought I'd be able to write songs on the moon, 758 00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:21,539 but let me tell you, there was not a lot to write about. 759 00:37:21,539 --> 00:37:25,076 But I'm hoping hanging with you will inspire some songs. 760 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:30,281 I mean, an inter galactic space quest to save your ex? 761 00:37:30,715 --> 00:37:32,183 Oh, wow. 762 00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:34,385 - Oh, I'm actually really boring. 763 00:37:35,152 --> 00:37:36,487 - I don't think you are. 764 00:37:37,788 --> 00:37:40,658 (romantic music) 765 00:37:40,658 --> 00:37:43,527 - [Ship] No, I think she is, she really is. 766 00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:48,232 - Look, I love the emo vibe, but you must have something 767 00:37:48,232 --> 00:37:50,868 positive to say about yourself, right? 768 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:55,439 What's something you're good at? 769 00:37:56,574 --> 00:38:01,412 - Well, I'm not bad at magic. 770 00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:04,115 - That's so cool, I'd love to see a trick. 771 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,117 - No, you wouldn't. 772 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:09,553 - Ah, yeah, I would- - Pick a card. 773 00:38:11,255 --> 00:38:12,923 - Ooh. - [Saira] Okay. 774 00:38:12,923 --> 00:38:15,493 So we're going to use your card, the ace of hearts, 775 00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:16,761 and put it in the middle of the deck. 776 00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:18,696 - Yeah. - [Saira] Because it's one 777 00:38:18,696 --> 00:38:20,498 of the only cards that acts like a helium balloon. 778 00:38:20,498 --> 00:38:22,199 If I push it the whole way in. 779 00:38:22,199 --> 00:38:23,301 - [Willow] Uh-huh. - [Saira] Like this, 780 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,669 and snap my fingers. (snaps) 781 00:38:24,669 --> 00:38:26,270 Did you see it come back to the top? 782 00:38:26,270 --> 00:38:27,705 - What the freak? 783 00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:29,540 - We'll do it again, we'll take it. 784 00:38:30,775 --> 00:38:32,677 We'll put it in the middle like that, 785 00:38:32,677 --> 00:38:34,445 now if I don't snap my fingers, 786 00:38:34,445 --> 00:38:36,881 the card doesn't come to the top. 787 00:38:36,881 --> 00:38:40,117 But if I either snap or cover it just for a second 788 00:38:40,117 --> 00:38:41,352 did you see it come back to the top? 789 00:38:41,352 --> 00:38:43,721 - Oh my God! 790 00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:46,891 - We'll try this one more time, I'll take it just like this. 791 00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:49,126 In fact, I might use your hand for this. 792 00:38:49,126 --> 00:38:50,861 (Willow panting) 793 00:38:50,861 --> 00:38:53,397 You can press it, the whole way in, into the middle. 794 00:38:53,397 --> 00:38:54,365 (Willow yelps) 795 00:38:54,365 --> 00:38:56,067 Here we go. 796 00:38:56,567 --> 00:38:57,435 Oh. 797 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:00,671 Huh? 798 00:39:00,671 --> 00:39:03,307 - What did, how, wait, oh my God! 799 00:39:03,307 --> 00:39:07,978 That's so cool, you're really good. 800 00:39:08,479 --> 00:39:11,148 - No one's ever stayed for a whole trick before. 801 00:39:11,482 --> 00:39:14,385 - Well, they're missing out. 802 00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:17,888 (romantic music) 803 00:39:24,261 --> 00:39:26,197 - What do you guys think about the sex scene 804 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,466 in "Blue is the Warmest Colour?" 805 00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:32,503 (gentle music) 806 00:39:38,976 --> 00:39:43,948 ♪ I fell down a hole ♪ 807 00:39:45,082 --> 00:39:49,253 ♪ And so did you ♪ 808 00:39:49,253 --> 00:39:53,824 ♪ What a silly thing ♪ 809 00:39:53,824 --> 00:39:57,561 ♪ For us to do ♪ 810 00:39:57,561 --> 00:40:01,532 ♪ But we made it out somehow ♪ 811 00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:04,535 ♪ Take a look at us right now ♪ 812 00:40:04,535 --> 00:40:07,872 ♪ Oh, Saira and me ♪ 813 00:40:07,872 --> 00:40:11,742 ♪ Zooming through the gay-laxy ♪ 814 00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:15,846 ♪ There's nowhere I'd rather be ♪ 815 00:40:17,181 --> 00:40:20,684 (Willow vocalising) 816 00:40:20,684 --> 00:40:25,756 ♪ Oh, Saira and me, zooming through the gay-laxy ♪ 817 00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:33,030 ♪ Something, something different lyrics ♪ 818 00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:34,799 (Saira laughs) 819 00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:36,400 I'm figuring that one out. 820 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,870 (gentle music continues) 821 00:40:46,977 --> 00:40:48,179 (upbeat music) 822 00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:50,281 (people cheering) 823 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:53,417 All right here, we are, S Club 17. 824 00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:54,652 This is where that lady who can help you 825 00:40:54,652 --> 00:40:56,587 find your laprys will be. 826 00:40:56,587 --> 00:41:00,157 - You mean, we have to go in there? 827 00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,360 (partygoer sniffing) 828 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,795 - Yeah. 829 00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:07,364 - Not looking like this, we won't. 830 00:41:07,364 --> 00:41:11,101 It's montage time, baby! 831 00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:13,003 - What? 832 00:41:13,003 --> 00:41:14,705 ♪ Yeah, I'm in your city, getting busy for my people ♪ 833 00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:16,540 - Oh, I'm good with what I've got on. 834 00:41:16,540 --> 00:41:18,542 - Come on, you can't go in there like that. 835 00:41:18,542 --> 00:41:20,411 - But Kiki gave this to me. 836 00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:21,645 - Seriously? 837 00:41:21,645 --> 00:41:24,248 What's so great about this Kiki? 838 00:41:24,248 --> 00:41:25,616 - Well, 839 00:41:25,616 --> 00:41:28,018 she's just like, 840 00:41:28,352 --> 00:41:29,920 really 841 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,655 fucking hot. 842 00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:34,492 (Willow laughs) 843 00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:37,027 - Wait, is that seriously it? 844 00:41:37,928 --> 00:41:43,100 - It's just, there's only one Kiki the Destroyer. 845 00:41:43,934 --> 00:41:47,872 No one ever gave me a chance, but she did. 846 00:41:48,539 --> 00:41:50,407 And being with her was like getting the keys 847 00:41:50,407 --> 00:41:52,510 to this better life. 848 00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:57,915 Without her, I'm like, nothing. 849 00:41:59,817 --> 00:42:02,319 - You know, that's kind of how I felt 850 00:42:02,319 --> 00:42:03,787 after I left the group. 851 00:42:03,787 --> 00:42:06,590 But you know what made me feel better? 852 00:42:07,925 --> 00:42:09,660 A makeover! 853 00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:11,829 Come on, it's time to make you fucking hot, too. 854 00:42:11,829 --> 00:42:15,299 Not that you aren't already, I mean, that came out wrong. 855 00:42:15,299 --> 00:42:16,934 ♪ Feeling buzzy, feeling cheeky ♪ 856 00:42:16,934 --> 00:42:18,435 ♪ I don't need you, but you need me ♪ 857 00:42:18,435 --> 00:42:20,170 - Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, mm-hmm. 858 00:42:20,170 --> 00:42:23,574 (singer vocalising) 859 00:42:23,574 --> 00:42:24,675 (Willow mimics sad trombone) 860 00:42:24,675 --> 00:42:26,343 (singer vocalising) 861 00:42:26,343 --> 00:42:27,311 (Saira yelps) 862 00:42:27,311 --> 00:42:30,481 - [Willow] Sorry! 863 00:42:30,481 --> 00:42:31,682 - Willow? 864 00:42:31,682 --> 00:42:33,083 - Sorry, sorry. 865 00:42:33,083 --> 00:42:34,451 (singer vocalising) 866 00:42:34,451 --> 00:42:35,753 ♪ Acting like Madonna ♪ 867 00:42:35,753 --> 00:42:38,622 - Bow-wow! (barking) 868 00:42:38,622 --> 00:42:40,624 (singer vocalising) 869 00:42:40,624 --> 00:42:43,160 ♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪ 870 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:44,562 - It's perfect. 871 00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:49,199 (uplifting music) 872 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,839 - What did you do? 873 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,942 Take off- - I took off the jumper. 874 00:42:58,275 --> 00:43:01,545 (Willow whimpers) 875 00:43:01,545 --> 00:43:05,282 (uplifting music continues) 876 00:43:10,988 --> 00:43:12,856 - Okay, I'll beam you over now. 877 00:43:12,856 --> 00:43:15,192 Do you remember how to get back? 878 00:43:15,192 --> 00:43:16,327 - Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 879 00:43:16,327 --> 00:43:18,228 - [Ship] You sound unsure. 880 00:43:18,228 --> 00:43:19,763 Okay, let me explain again. 881 00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:22,499 - Thanks so much, but I think we got it, 882 00:43:22,499 --> 00:43:23,734 the first three times you told us. 883 00:43:23,734 --> 00:43:25,769 - Oh, you say that now. 884 00:43:25,769 --> 00:43:27,871 But it can be pretty easy to get confused and mixed up, 885 00:43:27,871 --> 00:43:31,008 especially if you're a lady, or whatever you are. 886 00:43:31,008 --> 00:43:33,243 And you know, not used to tech stuff. 887 00:43:33,243 --> 00:43:35,546 - [Willow] Honestly, I reckon we got this. 888 00:43:35,546 --> 00:43:37,314 - Just one more time. 889 00:43:37,314 --> 00:43:39,950 What you need to do is get up the remote beam tracker 890 00:43:39,950 --> 00:43:42,953 and press the beam button. 891 00:43:43,587 --> 00:43:45,356 Oh, fuck my life. 892 00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:48,092 (upbeat music) 893 00:43:48,092 --> 00:43:49,493 - Thank God! 894 00:43:49,493 --> 00:43:51,662 He just kept talking and talking. 895 00:43:51,662 --> 00:43:54,131 - I can't believe I did that. 896 00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:57,968 - I love this place. 897 00:43:57,968 --> 00:43:59,937 - Oh, God. 898 00:44:00,537 --> 00:44:03,540 ♪ Lost my shit ♪ 899 00:44:03,540 --> 00:44:07,845 - I'm Blade, this is my club. 900 00:44:08,078 --> 00:44:11,148 - Oh man, it's gonna be hard finding Blade. 901 00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:12,282 - That was easy. 902 00:44:12,282 --> 00:44:13,751 - Okay, what's the plan. 903 00:44:13,751 --> 00:44:15,252 - Should we go up and say hi? 904 00:44:15,252 --> 00:44:18,856 - But how will we get into the air vent? 905 00:44:18,856 --> 00:44:20,991 - What if she actually doesn't want to help? 906 00:44:20,991 --> 00:44:24,428 - Genius, okay, you go find a screwdriver, 907 00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:26,764 and I'll get the pineapple. 908 00:44:26,764 --> 00:44:30,901 - You're right, we can do this if we're together. 909 00:44:32,369 --> 00:44:33,804 (person speaks indistinctly) 910 00:44:33,804 --> 00:44:36,040 - [Bouncer] This is VIP. 911 00:44:37,975 --> 00:44:39,143 - Willow? 912 00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:40,944 (outline beeps) 913 00:44:40,944 --> 00:44:43,113 ♪ PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪ 914 00:44:43,113 --> 00:44:46,183 ♪ Give me a PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪ 915 00:44:46,183 --> 00:44:49,520 ♪ Give me a PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪ 916 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,222 ♪ Give me a PRN ♪ 917 00:44:58,162 --> 00:44:59,563 (water trickling) 918 00:44:59,563 --> 00:45:02,299 - [Monster] Willow ditched you. 919 00:45:02,299 --> 00:45:04,835 Your plans are stupid. 920 00:45:05,102 --> 00:45:08,305 Blade doesn't wanna help you. 921 00:45:08,305 --> 00:45:11,241 You will always be broken. 922 00:45:11,575 --> 00:45:14,211 You should just give up. 923 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:19,583 - We need to talk 924 00:45:19,917 --> 00:45:24,888 about Ryan. (crying) 925 00:45:27,191 --> 00:45:30,794 I swear he's cheating on me with Stephanie, 926 00:45:30,794 --> 00:45:34,098 and he is totally gaslighting me. 927 00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,399 Like, why would he post all those selfies with her, 928 00:45:37,067 --> 00:45:39,536 and what, you know, what is, if that's just the vibe, 929 00:45:39,536 --> 00:45:41,371 but like, don't tell me I'm crazy. 930 00:45:41,371 --> 00:45:45,943 That's how things ended the last time. (sobbing) 931 00:45:52,182 --> 00:45:55,819 So like I'm, (hiccups) I'm not crazy, right? 932 00:45:56,887 --> 00:45:58,489 Right? - What? 933 00:45:58,489 --> 00:46:00,057 - Thanks for agreeing. 934 00:46:00,057 --> 00:46:02,960 So yeah, he just always puts himself before me, 935 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,497 and makes me feel like a loser. (sobbing) 936 00:46:13,003 --> 00:46:14,805 - You shouldn't let him make you feel so terrible. 937 00:46:14,805 --> 00:46:16,240 Why do you let him do that? 938 00:46:17,741 --> 00:46:22,846 - He's just, like, really fucking hot. 939 00:46:24,014 --> 00:46:26,917 I just, I can't believe he likes me. 940 00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:34,258 - Surely there's lots to love? 941 00:46:35,859 --> 00:46:39,930 - Well, I do listen a lot when he's talking 942 00:46:39,930 --> 00:46:41,899 to me about his video game. 943 00:46:41,899 --> 00:46:43,834 I don't even, I don't know what's going on in there, 944 00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:45,702 but he seems really excited. 945 00:46:45,702 --> 00:46:48,839 So he's telling me about AK-47. 946 00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:52,276 I don't know what that is, but it makes him happy. 947 00:46:52,276 --> 00:46:54,178 And I'm really good at shoplifting. 948 00:46:55,445 --> 00:46:59,650 - It sounds like this Ryan 949 00:46:59,650 --> 00:47:01,852 doesn't appreciate how great you are. 950 00:47:03,387 --> 00:47:05,155 - Oh my God, you're right. 951 00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:08,525 Thanks, babes, I needed to hear that. (laughs) 952 00:47:08,525 --> 00:47:10,494 It's wild to think I won't remember any of this 953 00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:12,429 in the morning and we'll never see each other ever again. 954 00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:13,864 You know what? 955 00:47:13,864 --> 00:47:15,599 You're right, screw him, I'm great. 956 00:47:16,733 --> 00:47:18,602 You're like the wisest, coolest, 957 00:47:18,602 --> 00:47:20,838 prettiest person I've ever met. 958 00:47:22,573 --> 00:47:24,541 You fucking rock, girl. 959 00:47:25,042 --> 00:47:27,010 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 960 00:47:27,010 --> 00:47:29,446 (person speaks indistinctly) 961 00:47:29,446 --> 00:47:34,151 - Hey, Blade, I need to speak to you, please? 962 00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:35,786 - What? 963 00:47:35,786 --> 00:47:38,322 - I said, I need to speak to you, please. 964 00:47:40,090 --> 00:47:41,258 - What? 965 00:47:41,258 --> 00:47:43,760 - I said- - I'll come down. 966 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,896 (throne beeping) 967 00:47:45,896 --> 00:47:47,164 Coming down. 968 00:47:49,166 --> 00:47:52,369 Fucking, fucking. (indistinct) 969 00:47:53,270 --> 00:47:56,073 (throne beeping) 970 00:47:58,609 --> 00:48:00,677 Well, hello. 971 00:48:00,677 --> 00:48:01,578 - Hi. 972 00:48:02,646 --> 00:48:04,648 How's it going? 973 00:48:04,648 --> 00:48:07,150 I'm Princess Saira from- 974 00:48:07,951 --> 00:48:09,419 - I know who you are. 975 00:48:09,419 --> 00:48:11,622 - Ah, cool, yeah, yeah, well, yeah. 976 00:48:11,622 --> 00:48:14,258 I saw on the future net that you might be able 977 00:48:14,258 --> 00:48:17,261 to help me summon my royal labrys? 978 00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:20,397 - You think you can just come into my club, 979 00:48:20,397 --> 00:48:25,035 march into the VIP area, make me come down from my throne, 980 00:48:25,035 --> 00:48:28,171 and expect me to just help you summon your labrys? 981 00:48:28,171 --> 00:48:31,642 If that's what you think, you would be 982 00:48:31,642 --> 00:48:35,078 absolutely right. (laughs) 983 00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:38,148 I am so excited you're here. 984 00:48:38,148 --> 00:48:41,752 Princess Saira, it would be my honour 985 00:48:41,752 --> 00:48:43,921 to help you out, darling. 986 00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:45,622 - Oh, oh my God, really? 987 00:48:46,890 --> 00:48:48,358 Thank you. 988 00:48:48,358 --> 00:48:49,293 - Get up, you little sweaty bitch. 989 00:48:52,162 --> 00:48:54,998 You know, we're actually not so different, Princess Saira. 990 00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:56,700 - Really? 991 00:48:56,700 --> 00:48:58,435 - I mean, my parents aren't queens or anything, 992 00:49:00,170 --> 00:49:04,207 but they are renowned psychologists, and ooh girl, 993 00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:07,110 when people talked shit about me, (laughs) 994 00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:10,314 I tried for the longest time to fit in, 995 00:49:10,314 --> 00:49:14,451 and be the psychological professional my parents wished for. 996 00:49:14,451 --> 00:49:19,489 But I realised if there's no room for you to be yourself, 997 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,859 fuck it, go and make it yourself, girl. 998 00:49:22,859 --> 00:49:25,829 I finally followed my real passion. 999 00:49:25,829 --> 00:49:27,631 - Drag? - Weapons. 1000 00:49:28,332 --> 00:49:31,568 They love the drag, but the weapons, they said, 1001 00:49:31,568 --> 00:49:34,438 "Blade, your behaviour is very concerning." 1002 00:49:34,438 --> 00:49:36,573 But like, don't call your kid Blade 1003 00:49:36,573 --> 00:49:40,744 and expect them not to be into blades, right? 1004 00:49:40,744 --> 00:49:43,947 Speaking of blades, your labrys. 1005 00:49:43,947 --> 00:49:45,515 I'll tell you what's causing you trouble. 1006 00:49:45,515 --> 00:49:47,517 As with all metaphysical weapons, 1007 00:49:47,517 --> 00:49:51,221 the key to unlocking your labrys is a mental one. 1008 00:49:51,221 --> 00:49:53,056 The wiring is all there. 1009 00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:54,725 You just need to make the right connections. 1010 00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:57,394 - So, I'm not broken? 1011 00:49:57,394 --> 00:50:00,897 - Not at all, and luckily, I happen to know 1012 00:50:00,897 --> 00:50:03,200 a thing or two about psychology. 1013 00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:07,738 Now let mama help you find your labrys, you ready? 1014 00:50:07,738 --> 00:50:08,772 - Mm-hmm. 1015 00:50:08,772 --> 00:50:11,675 - Okay, close your eyes. 1016 00:50:12,776 --> 00:50:14,678 - This is safe, right? 1017 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:16,113 (Blade laughs) 1018 00:50:16,113 --> 00:50:19,416 - Of course, we're only meditating. 1019 00:50:21,218 --> 00:50:24,554 I want you to take a deep breath in. 1020 00:50:24,554 --> 00:50:26,890 (Saira inhales) 1021 00:50:26,890 --> 00:50:28,558 And out. 1022 00:50:28,558 --> 00:50:31,294 (Saira exhales) 1023 00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,768 (gentle music) 1024 00:50:43,306 --> 00:50:45,609 Now babes, it might feel like 1025 00:50:45,609 --> 00:50:48,145 you're not in control of your own mind, 1026 00:50:48,145 --> 00:50:50,714 but just a conscious is actually trying 1027 00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:53,417 to protect you in a roundabout kind of way, 1028 00:50:53,417 --> 00:50:55,452 and a saboteur, all that shit. 1029 00:50:55,452 --> 00:50:58,922 But it's only as powerful as you let it be. 1030 00:50:59,389 --> 00:51:04,194 Now look around at your surroundings, what do you notice? 1031 00:51:06,029 --> 00:51:08,498 Reach out and touch the door. 1032 00:51:08,498 --> 00:51:12,135 Feel the handle, feel its smoothness. 1033 00:51:12,135 --> 00:51:14,004 - [Monster] This won't work. 1034 00:51:14,004 --> 00:51:16,173 - [Blade] Remember, you're the boss. 1035 00:51:16,173 --> 00:51:17,707 Breathe in. 1036 00:51:17,707 --> 00:51:19,409 (Saira inhales) 1037 00:51:19,409 --> 00:51:20,811 And out. 1038 00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:22,712 (Saira exhales) 1039 00:51:22,712 --> 00:51:27,784 At your own pace, hold the handle firmly and pull. 1040 00:51:32,789 --> 00:51:35,525 (ominous music) 1041 00:51:45,035 --> 00:51:47,737 (Saira exhales) 1042 00:51:58,682 --> 00:52:01,485 (Saira whimpers) 1043 00:52:02,986 --> 00:52:06,823 - Wait, Saira, I wanna hang out with you. 1044 00:52:09,259 --> 00:52:12,462 Just kidding, I ditched you because you- 1045 00:52:12,462 --> 00:52:13,597 - Bore me. 1046 00:52:13,597 --> 00:52:15,699 Bore me, bore me. 1047 00:52:15,699 --> 00:52:16,933 Bore me. 1048 00:52:16,933 --> 00:52:18,201 You bore me. 1049 00:52:34,751 --> 00:52:37,154 (labrys droning) 1050 00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:40,457 (footsteps pattering) 1051 00:52:41,958 --> 00:52:45,028 (ominous music continues) 1052 00:52:45,028 --> 00:52:47,564 - [Person] Why do we keep trying? 1053 00:52:47,564 --> 00:52:48,798 - [Kiki] Boring. 1054 00:52:52,636 --> 00:52:53,803 - [Saira] Huh? 1055 00:52:57,674 --> 00:53:01,077 Can't you just stay here with me today? 1056 00:53:01,077 --> 00:53:02,679 - [Leanne] We can't, 1057 00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:06,183 we'll be late for our royal orgy, sweetie. 1058 00:53:10,620 --> 00:53:12,789 - [Saira] Can I show you my magic show now? 1059 00:53:12,789 --> 00:53:14,624 - [Anne] Not now, Saira, we're gonna be late 1060 00:53:14,624 --> 00:53:17,194 for our own burlesque show, much cooler than magic. 1061 00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:19,796 - [Leanne] You should do burlesque instead. 1062 00:53:19,796 --> 00:53:21,331 - [Saira] I'm 10. 1063 00:53:23,099 --> 00:53:25,669 Wanna come over after school, maybe? 1064 00:53:25,669 --> 00:53:28,238 - [Friend] Will the queens be there? 1065 00:53:28,238 --> 00:53:31,508 - [Saira] No, they're away. 1066 00:53:31,808 --> 00:53:33,877 - [Friend] Sorry, I can't. 1067 00:53:34,911 --> 00:53:37,647 (sombre music) 1068 00:53:42,786 --> 00:53:46,056 - [Anne] What did we do wrong, it can't be us. 1069 00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:48,158 - [Leanne] Waste of space. 1070 00:53:48,158 --> 00:53:51,661 (sombre music continues) 1071 00:54:07,644 --> 00:54:09,212 (person speaking indistinctly) 1072 00:54:09,212 --> 00:54:11,014 - [Person] Something wrong with her. 1073 00:54:11,014 --> 00:54:13,950 (footsteps patter) 1074 00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:20,290 (person speaking indistinctly) 1075 00:54:20,290 --> 00:54:23,360 - [Anne] Happened the first try, right? 1076 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,263 - [Moms] You can't have it. 1077 00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:27,731 - But it's mine. 1078 00:54:29,199 --> 00:54:32,002 - [Moms] You're not good enough for it. 1079 00:54:34,237 --> 00:54:39,042 - Yes, I am. 1080 00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:41,645 (Saira yells) 1081 00:54:50,787 --> 00:54:53,056 (gentle music) 1082 00:54:53,056 --> 00:54:56,493 (chains rattling) 1083 00:54:56,493 --> 00:54:59,663 (singer vocalising) 1084 00:55:02,899 --> 00:55:05,635 (Saira panting) 1085 00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:19,082 (magical music) 1086 00:55:19,082 --> 00:55:22,319 (singers vocalising) 1087 00:55:29,693 --> 00:55:32,095 Yes, finally, yes, yes, yes. 1088 00:55:33,229 --> 00:55:35,165 - Yoink. - Yes? 1089 00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:37,233 - I'll take that. - Huh? 1090 00:55:37,233 --> 00:55:39,402 (Blade cackling) 1091 00:55:39,402 --> 00:55:44,474 - Finally, a labrys is mine, all mine. (cackling) 1092 00:55:46,543 --> 00:55:49,012 I can't believe you fell for it, you basic little bitch. 1093 00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:52,015 - Wait, I thought you wanted to help me. 1094 00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:53,383 - Nah. 1095 00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:55,618 I can't believe you didn't see that. 1096 00:55:58,888 --> 00:56:00,090 - But I need it. 1097 00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:04,427 - Not when you're dead. (laughs) 1098 00:56:04,427 --> 00:56:07,464 Time to christen this beautiful blade. 1099 00:56:08,465 --> 00:56:11,468 (Saira grunts) 1100 00:56:11,468 --> 00:56:14,371 (intense music) 1101 00:56:15,972 --> 00:56:18,775 (Blade cackling) 1102 00:56:19,109 --> 00:56:22,512 (Willow yells) 1103 00:56:23,613 --> 00:56:26,049 - Whoopsies, finally found you. 1104 00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:29,285 Sorry I took so long, it took me ages to find the pineapple. 1105 00:56:29,285 --> 00:56:31,087 What's it for? 1106 00:56:31,087 --> 00:56:32,422 - What? 1107 00:56:33,423 --> 00:56:35,358 - Oh, hey, you found the labrys thing. 1108 00:56:35,358 --> 00:56:38,194 (Willow grunts) 1109 00:56:38,194 --> 00:56:40,697 (Blade yells) 1110 00:56:40,697 --> 00:56:42,732 - Okay, so Blade is not cool. 1111 00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:44,801 - Yeah, she's trying to steal my labrys. 1112 00:56:44,801 --> 00:56:45,635 - Oh, hell no. 1113 00:56:51,941 --> 00:56:55,612 - What are you gonna do, fight me with a pineapple? (laughs) 1114 00:56:55,612 --> 00:56:57,280 - Oh, it all makes sense now. 1115 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,949 (Saira laughs) 1116 00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:04,287 (Blade grunts) 1117 00:57:04,287 --> 00:57:05,054 - [Blade] Ow, what the fuck? 1118 00:57:06,122 --> 00:57:07,957 (Willow laughs) 1119 00:57:07,957 --> 00:57:11,060 - Willow! 1120 00:57:11,060 --> 00:57:13,296 (Blade grunting) 1121 00:57:13,296 --> 00:57:15,532 (Saira grunts) 1122 00:57:15,532 --> 00:57:18,435 (Saira grunts) 1123 00:57:19,769 --> 00:57:22,906 - Ha, have you ever used an axe before? 1124 00:57:22,906 --> 00:57:24,541 (metal clinking) 1125 00:57:24,541 --> 00:57:26,409 (Saira yells) 1126 00:57:26,409 --> 00:57:28,178 Ha, even with that beautiful weapon, 1127 00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:31,948 you can't defend yourself against a pineapple. 1128 00:57:31,948 --> 00:57:34,117 You're a joke. 1129 00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:37,153 (Saira panting) 1130 00:57:37,153 --> 00:57:38,922 No, what are you doing to it? 1131 00:57:38,922 --> 00:57:40,423 - No. 1132 00:57:40,423 --> 00:57:43,526 - Fuck, you bitch. (crying) 1133 00:57:45,528 --> 00:57:48,231 (Saira yells) 1134 00:57:49,566 --> 00:57:52,669 Yeah, that's how you use it. (coughs) 1135 00:57:52,669 --> 00:57:56,840 - Now who's a joke, you bitch? (crying) 1136 00:58:05,515 --> 00:58:07,951 (ship beeps) 1137 00:58:07,951 --> 00:58:08,818 - Hey. 1138 00:58:10,553 --> 00:58:11,855 Welcome back. 1139 00:58:11,855 --> 00:58:13,957 - Is she okay, is she awake? 1140 00:58:13,957 --> 00:58:17,026 - Yes, she's okay, you can stop freaking out now. 1141 00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:20,263 - I wasn't freaking out, you were, I don't care. 1142 00:58:21,297 --> 00:58:22,699 - I beamed us back here 1143 00:58:22,699 --> 00:58:24,734 after you decapitated that Blade lady. 1144 00:58:24,734 --> 00:58:28,605 You are such a badass. (purrs) 1145 00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:30,340 - Wait, where's my- - Hey, hey, hey. 1146 00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:33,109 Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay. 1147 00:58:33,109 --> 00:58:34,010 It's here. 1148 00:58:35,945 --> 00:58:37,046 - What? 1149 00:58:37,046 --> 00:58:38,381 No, where's my labrys? 1150 00:58:38,381 --> 00:58:40,783 - Oh, that, yeah, that's here too. 1151 00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:46,089 (Saira pants) 1152 00:58:46,089 --> 00:58:48,925 - I really was pretty badass back there. 1153 00:58:48,925 --> 00:58:51,728 - Yeah, I have a huge crush on you. 1154 00:58:52,762 --> 00:58:55,365 Wait, did I say that out loud? 1155 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:56,366 - [Ship and Saira] Yes. 1156 00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:57,967 - It's just... 1157 00:58:57,967 --> 00:58:59,836 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that got you. 1158 00:58:59,836 --> 00:59:03,640 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush on you ♪ 1159 00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:08,678 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush, it's true ♪ 1160 00:59:09,679 --> 00:59:13,182 ♪ And it's on you ♪ 1161 00:59:13,182 --> 00:59:16,553 ♪ My crush is on you ♪ 1162 00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:20,523 ♪ Specifically, you, Saira ♪ 1163 00:59:20,523 --> 00:59:23,092 That song was about you. 1164 00:59:23,092 --> 00:59:23,993 - I got that. 1165 00:59:28,131 --> 00:59:29,499 - [Ship] Ooh, yeah. 1166 00:59:29,499 --> 00:59:30,567 Called it. 1167 00:59:31,868 --> 00:59:34,637 - That's been there this whole time? 1168 00:59:34,637 --> 00:59:38,942 - Yep, it's been in front of you all along. 1169 00:59:38,942 --> 00:59:41,711 - We're not talking about the button, are we? 1170 00:59:41,711 --> 00:59:44,280 - No, I'm talking about the button, I saw it ages ago. 1171 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:45,148 - Oh. 1172 00:59:48,751 --> 00:59:50,720 - [Ship] How can you even have sex? 1173 00:59:51,554 --> 00:59:54,090 - Now that he's gone. 1174 00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:59,095 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush on you ♪ 1175 00:59:59,095 --> 01:00:04,133 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush, it's true ♪ 1176 01:00:05,168 --> 01:00:06,603 ♪ And it's on you ♪ 1177 01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:08,371 Woof woof. 1178 01:00:08,371 --> 01:00:11,941 ♪ My crush is on you ♪ 1179 01:00:11,941 --> 01:00:14,744 ♪ Specifically, you, Saira ♪ 1180 01:00:14,744 --> 01:00:17,747 Are yours hands magic? 1181 01:00:17,747 --> 01:00:22,852 ♪ Approximately five hours before ♪ 1182 01:00:24,554 --> 01:00:29,492 ♪ Kiki dies in a vat of toxic home brew ♪ 1183 01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:32,261 - Hello there, lady at bar. 1184 01:00:32,261 --> 01:00:34,931 - Hello. - Hi. 1185 01:00:34,931 --> 01:00:39,202 Well, what, do, I like your dress. 1186 01:00:39,202 --> 01:00:40,036 - Thank you. 1187 01:00:41,137 --> 01:00:43,840 - I wore a nice shirt to this bar. 1188 01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,475 - It's making me horny. 1189 01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:48,244 (Larry laughs) 1190 01:00:48,244 --> 01:00:50,079 - Perch hands. 1191 01:00:50,079 --> 01:00:51,781 - Drink, drink, ask about a drink, ask about a drink. 1192 01:00:51,781 --> 01:00:53,383 - I'm thirsty. 1193 01:00:53,383 --> 01:00:56,819 - Oh, are you thirsty? - Yeah. 1194 01:00:56,819 --> 01:00:58,521 - She gave you the leading, just go for it, man. 1195 01:00:58,521 --> 01:01:00,690 Just go for it, just be yourself, bro. 1196 01:01:00,690 --> 01:01:05,762 - Can I get you with my money, a drink for you? 1197 01:01:06,462 --> 01:01:07,830 - Oh yes, please. 1198 01:01:07,830 --> 01:01:09,866 - Close the deal, close the deal. 1199 01:01:09,866 --> 01:01:12,969 - Now that I have purchased you a drink, you owe me sex? 1200 01:01:12,969 --> 01:01:14,671 - Yes. - Yes, correct. 1201 01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:18,107 (Kiki cackling) 1202 01:01:18,107 --> 01:01:21,277 - Hey, don't be so mean, this is a safe space. 1203 01:01:21,277 --> 01:01:22,278 - What's so funny? 1204 01:01:22,278 --> 01:01:23,813 - It's just like, 1205 01:01:23,813 --> 01:01:26,883 I don't get why this is so hard for you. 1206 01:01:26,883 --> 01:01:29,052 - Oh, wow, so predictable, 1207 01:01:29,052 --> 01:01:32,288 from the lady of colour who's a lesbian. 1208 01:01:32,288 --> 01:01:35,191 I'm really shocked, lesbian of colour. 1209 01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:37,994 The whole universe is built around you, lesbian of colour. 1210 01:01:37,994 --> 01:01:41,898 - Here's something that I guarantee you did not know. 1211 01:01:41,898 --> 01:01:45,301 Did you know that crash test dummies are built 1212 01:01:45,301 --> 01:01:49,472 around the average size and proportions of a woman? 1213 01:01:49,472 --> 01:01:50,840 What if we get into a crash? 1214 01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:53,009 - And look at this phone. 1215 01:01:53,009 --> 01:01:55,111 They make these for chicks. 1216 01:01:55,111 --> 01:01:58,414 How am I supposed to use this tiny phone with my huge hands? 1217 01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:03,419 It's a tiny fucking lesbian phone, fuck you lesbian phone! 1218 01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:05,822 - We gotta be confident. 1219 01:02:05,822 --> 01:02:07,457 We gotta be too- - But not too- 1220 01:02:07,457 --> 01:02:08,558 - But not too confident. - Don't be too confident. 1221 01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:09,559 Don't be too confident. 1222 01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,094 - We gotta be beautiful. 1223 01:02:11,094 --> 01:02:12,462 - But not too beautiful. - But not too beautiful. 1224 01:02:12,462 --> 01:02:13,429 - Can't be too beautiful. 1225 01:02:13,429 --> 01:02:15,364 Can't look too good. 1226 01:02:15,364 --> 01:02:18,301 - You gotta have nice shoe, you gotta, everything you do, 1227 01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:21,838 everything you do, I gotta do backwards in flat shoes. 1228 01:02:21,838 --> 01:02:23,039 Do you understand? 1229 01:02:23,039 --> 01:02:26,008 You've got the support of heels. 1230 01:02:26,008 --> 01:02:29,512 I just, it is hard for us, too, and I just think sometimes. 1231 01:02:29,512 --> 01:02:30,680 - Oh, no. - Oh. 1232 01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:32,615 - So, no, I'm sorry, I'm just... 1233 01:02:32,615 --> 01:02:33,549 - Oh. - I know. 1234 01:02:33,549 --> 01:02:34,951 No, he does this. 1235 01:02:34,951 --> 01:02:37,286 - We can't win. - He's just upset. 1236 01:02:37,286 --> 01:02:40,990 - I'm not, I'm not upset, I, these are angry tears. 1237 01:02:40,990 --> 01:02:42,725 I'm so angry I'm crying. 1238 01:02:42,725 --> 01:02:45,695 - Ugh, you should just stop complaining. 1239 01:02:45,695 --> 01:02:49,398 Screw this, my life is hard too, that's it. 1240 01:02:49,398 --> 01:02:52,702 I'm really doing it this time, I'm getting myself loose. 1241 01:02:52,702 --> 01:02:54,237 (Kiki yells) 1242 01:02:54,237 --> 01:02:57,240 (playful music) 1243 01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:58,207 (Maliens gasp) 1244 01:02:58,207 --> 01:02:59,408 (Kiki grunting) 1245 01:02:59,408 --> 01:03:00,510 (Maliens gasp) 1246 01:03:00,510 --> 01:03:01,911 Yeah! 1247 01:03:01,911 --> 01:03:03,379 - No, no, no, no. 1248 01:03:03,379 --> 01:03:04,947 (Kiki laughs) 1249 01:03:04,947 --> 01:03:07,817 (Maliens gasp) 1250 01:03:09,018 --> 01:03:10,453 - Oh. 1251 01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:12,622 (Kiki groans) 1252 01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:16,859 I think it's time you realise who has the power here. 1253 01:03:18,227 --> 01:03:20,930 Kill the lesbian! 1254 01:03:22,365 --> 01:03:25,368 - To be or not to be. 1255 01:03:25,368 --> 01:03:27,036 That is the question. 1256 01:03:28,271 --> 01:03:30,339 Oh, God, oh, this is the most painful 1257 01:03:30,339 --> 01:03:33,643 and horrible death anyone could ever experience! 1258 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:38,548 Oh God, why me, why, why? (gurgling) 1259 01:03:40,216 --> 01:03:41,951 - Bro, I said kill the lesbian, not the thespian. 1260 01:03:41,951 --> 01:03:43,186 What the heck, bro. 1261 01:03:44,887 --> 01:03:45,955 - You can hear they sound- - [Malien] Yes. 1262 01:03:45,955 --> 01:03:46,989 - The same. 1263 01:03:46,989 --> 01:03:48,724 - [Malien] I understand. 1264 01:03:48,724 --> 01:03:50,159 - I mean, I know this isn't my argument, 1265 01:03:50,159 --> 01:03:51,794 but I'm pretty sure you said thespian. 1266 01:03:51,794 --> 01:03:53,129 - I don't think I did. 1267 01:03:53,129 --> 01:03:54,831 When I say kill the lesbian, 1268 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:57,300 I'm talking about, quite specifically, her. 1269 01:03:57,300 --> 01:04:00,036 And you know that, you do this, you team up and- 1270 01:04:00,036 --> 01:04:02,238 - You said thespian. - [Malien] You pick on me. 1271 01:04:02,238 --> 01:04:04,774 Fucking, I swear to God I didn't, and if I did, I apologise. 1272 01:04:04,774 --> 01:04:06,209 - Now, who's the lesbian, hey? 1273 01:04:06,209 --> 01:04:07,677 - What, no. 1274 01:04:07,677 --> 01:04:08,778 - [Larry] That doesn't make sense. 1275 01:04:08,778 --> 01:04:10,680 - No, no, no, no, no, do, what? 1276 01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:11,814 Do you know what a lesbian, do you know what a lesbian is? 1277 01:04:11,814 --> 01:04:13,049 - Yes. - [Malien] What. 1278 01:04:13,049 --> 01:04:15,084 - They're, they get on stage. 1279 01:04:15,084 --> 01:04:17,086 - [Malien] That's a thespian. 1280 01:04:17,086 --> 01:04:20,389 - And, and, and date someone of the same sex. 1281 01:04:20,389 --> 01:04:21,924 - [Larry and Malien] That's a lesbian thespian. 1282 01:04:21,924 --> 01:04:23,292 - It's a lesbian. 1283 01:04:23,292 --> 01:04:25,127 - No, no, it's a lesbian thespian. 1284 01:04:25,127 --> 01:04:27,330 - Just kill the lesbian, just kill the lesbian. 1285 01:04:27,330 --> 01:04:30,366 - Every lesbian in "The L Word" was also a thespian. 1286 01:04:30,366 --> 01:04:32,401 - Yes, that's fair, you cannot argue with that. 1287 01:04:32,401 --> 01:04:34,170 - No, and I never would, either way, 1288 01:04:34,170 --> 01:04:36,272 we're getting off topic. - [Larry] Mm. 1289 01:04:36,272 --> 01:04:39,508 - And I would like to kill the lesbian, we gotta- 1290 01:04:39,508 --> 01:04:41,444 - We already killed her. 1291 01:04:41,444 --> 01:04:44,313 - No, we killed the thespian, you killed the thespian, the- 1292 01:04:44,313 --> 01:04:45,915 - Yes, and that's what you wanted. 1293 01:04:45,915 --> 01:04:47,884 - I thought you said thespian. - No. 1294 01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:52,088 No, shut up, stop talking now. 1295 01:04:53,322 --> 01:04:55,591 All right, now. 1296 01:04:56,492 --> 01:04:58,227 Kill the lesbian. 1297 01:04:59,962 --> 01:05:01,530 (Kiki groans) 1298 01:05:01,530 --> 01:05:05,101 - Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry, you're right. 1299 01:05:05,101 --> 01:05:09,105 Women like me suck, we take up too much space. 1300 01:05:09,105 --> 01:05:11,974 - Ah, no, no, no, no, no, too late. 1301 01:05:11,974 --> 01:05:14,810 I am sick of you always patronising us. 1302 01:05:14,810 --> 01:05:18,481 - But you need me, mm-hmm. 1303 01:05:18,481 --> 01:05:21,918 Saira's not gonna give you the labrys for nothing. 1304 01:05:23,352 --> 01:05:25,821 Do you really want to invite a lesbian with one 1305 01:05:25,821 --> 01:05:29,859 of the most powerful weapons in the universe to your cave, 1306 01:05:29,859 --> 01:05:33,796 and then tell them you've just killed the person they love? 1307 01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:35,464 (Maliens gulp) 1308 01:05:35,464 --> 01:05:37,767 - Well, if she loves you so much, 1309 01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,902 what is taking her so long? 1310 01:05:39,902 --> 01:05:41,304 - Just let me talk to her. 1311 01:05:42,271 --> 01:05:44,974 I promise I can get her here. 1312 01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:49,612 - Fine, but you better hope she's close by. 1313 01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:51,180 I am done waiting. 1314 01:05:52,648 --> 01:05:53,716 Button! 1315 01:05:53,716 --> 01:05:57,019 (timer buzzes) 1316 01:05:58,821 --> 01:06:01,357 (phone ringing) 1317 01:06:01,357 --> 01:06:04,226 New time limit, princess, one hour. 1318 01:06:04,226 --> 01:06:05,628 - What? 1319 01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:07,396 - You can thank big mouth over here for that 1320 01:06:07,396 --> 01:06:09,865 and all the mean things she's been saying. 1321 01:06:09,865 --> 01:06:11,133 About me and my friends. 1322 01:06:11,133 --> 01:06:14,236 - Saira, wait, where are you? 1323 01:06:14,236 --> 01:06:18,607 Is that sex hair, who the fuck is that? 1324 01:06:18,607 --> 01:06:20,910 - Hey, I'm Willow, Saira's new partner. 1325 01:06:20,910 --> 01:06:22,878 - What, no, they're no one. 1326 01:06:22,878 --> 01:06:24,313 - [Willow] Oh. 1327 01:06:24,313 --> 01:06:25,881 - Wait, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. 1328 01:06:25,881 --> 01:06:27,249 - [Kiki] Are you serious? 1329 01:06:27,249 --> 01:06:29,752 - I mean, I'm sorry, they're no one. 1330 01:06:29,752 --> 01:06:31,253 - [Willow] Oh. 1331 01:06:31,253 --> 01:06:34,423 - I mean, I don't know, I'm confused. 1332 01:06:35,524 --> 01:06:36,392 I'm just, 1333 01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,729 sorry. 1334 01:06:39,729 --> 01:06:41,630 - No, Saira, I'm sorry. 1335 01:06:43,466 --> 01:06:48,371 I can see now, I screwed things up, I never appreciated you. 1336 01:06:49,305 --> 01:06:51,674 But Saira, you are the only one 1337 01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:57,413 who can bring your royal labrys and save me. 1338 01:06:59,315 --> 01:07:03,619 Now, but now I've lost you, and now I'm going die. (cries) 1339 01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:12,762 - No. 1340 01:07:12,762 --> 01:07:16,298 - That's not true, I'll come, of course I'll come. 1341 01:07:16,298 --> 01:07:18,601 - You have one hour. 1342 01:07:18,601 --> 01:07:20,036 - Kiki! 1343 01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:21,737 (Kiki screams) 1344 01:07:21,737 --> 01:07:24,540 (Saira panting) 1345 01:07:27,176 --> 01:07:28,577 - Willow, I'm sorry. 1346 01:07:30,079 --> 01:07:33,182 - It's okay, if Kiki means this much to you, 1347 01:07:34,150 --> 01:07:35,651 we can open this relationship up. 1348 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:40,022 - No, Willow, I think maybe 1349 01:07:40,022 --> 01:07:42,091 you and I should just be friends. 1350 01:07:44,727 --> 01:07:46,695 - You're friend zoning me? 1351 01:07:49,365 --> 01:07:54,270 I hid the body for you, not the head, though. 1352 01:07:54,270 --> 01:07:56,072 I figured they'll never figure out 1353 01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,840 who it belongs to without the body. 1354 01:07:59,008 --> 01:08:03,279 You know, I don't even like murder. 1355 01:08:03,279 --> 01:08:05,214 I just wanted you to like me. 1356 01:08:05,214 --> 01:08:08,350 - I do really like you. 1357 01:08:08,350 --> 01:08:12,088 I think you're the first proper friend I've ever had. 1358 01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:14,557 I got a bit caught up in that. 1359 01:08:15,324 --> 01:08:17,126 Now I've messed it up. 1360 01:08:18,327 --> 01:08:22,264 - I just need some time. 1361 01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:26,535 And I'm taking this, you owe me that at least. 1362 01:08:26,535 --> 01:08:27,536 - It's yours. 1363 01:08:27,536 --> 01:08:28,838 - Don't let them see you cry. 1364 01:08:30,606 --> 01:08:33,809 I definitely have some inspiration for my album now. 1365 01:08:33,809 --> 01:08:35,744 - I'm sorry. 1366 01:08:36,779 --> 01:08:40,716 I really hope we can be friends. 1367 01:08:43,018 --> 01:08:44,787 - Fuck you, Saira. 1368 01:08:44,787 --> 01:08:47,456 (sombre music) 1369 01:08:50,860 --> 01:08:53,496 (Saira crying) 1370 01:08:56,232 --> 01:09:00,202 ♪ I met her on a moon ♪ 1371 01:09:00,603 --> 01:09:05,207 ♪ She was still amid some gloom ♪ 1372 01:09:05,207 --> 01:09:09,812 ♪ So she took me on a wild ride ♪ 1373 01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:14,850 ♪ Did some fucked up shit, but we fell to life ♪ 1374 01:09:14,850 --> 01:09:19,288 ♪ Oh, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1375 01:09:19,288 --> 01:09:24,393 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1376 01:09:25,394 --> 01:09:28,597 ♪ Oh, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1377 01:09:28,597 --> 01:09:32,368 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1378 01:09:32,368 --> 01:09:37,006 ♪ She's travelling the gay-laxy ♪ 1379 01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:41,610 ♪ I kind of wish it was for me ♪ 1380 01:09:41,610 --> 01:09:46,715 ♪ But something's just aren't meant to be ♪ 1381 01:09:47,683 --> 01:09:49,318 - Finally, how was it? 1382 01:09:49,318 --> 01:09:50,819 Wait, where's the other one? 1383 01:09:50,819 --> 01:09:51,987 What happened? 1384 01:09:51,987 --> 01:09:54,490 Did she, they dump you, too? 1385 01:09:55,424 --> 01:09:58,027 - I kind of dumped them. 1386 01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,728 - Why would you do that? 1387 01:09:59,728 --> 01:10:01,797 They seem to genuinely like your boring personality 1388 01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:03,098 and magic tricks. 1389 01:10:03,098 --> 01:10:06,535 - Because I've gotta save Kiki. 1390 01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:08,604 - [Ship] Oh man, you still wanna do that? 1391 01:10:08,604 --> 01:10:10,739 - I, I can't just abandon her. 1392 01:10:10,739 --> 01:10:13,209 Listen, I know you didn't wanna come this far, 1393 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:15,110 but she needs me. 1394 01:10:15,110 --> 01:10:16,545 Is it okay if I drive us to the worst, 1395 01:10:16,545 --> 01:10:18,647 most dangerous place in the universe? 1396 01:10:23,118 --> 01:10:25,020 (Ship cries) 1397 01:10:25,020 --> 01:10:29,692 - No pilots ever asked me if I'm okay with something before. 1398 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:35,397 Honestly, they were a bit mean. (crying) 1399 01:10:37,399 --> 01:10:41,403 - Well, what do you say, wanna stick with me? 1400 01:10:41,604 --> 01:10:45,374 - I mean, we've come this far. (crying) 1401 01:10:50,446 --> 01:10:54,016 Sorry, you really hit a nerve. 1402 01:10:54,216 --> 01:10:56,585 Yeah, whatever, let's go. 1403 01:10:56,585 --> 01:10:59,054 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 1404 01:10:59,054 --> 01:11:01,423 ♪ Saira, there she goes ♪ 1405 01:11:01,423 --> 01:11:03,993 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1406 01:11:03,993 --> 01:11:07,296 ♪ Whoa, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1407 01:11:07,296 --> 01:11:10,666 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1408 01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:14,103 ♪ Yeah, I wrote my song down ♪ 1409 01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:15,471 ♪ Woo ♪ 1410 01:11:15,471 --> 01:11:17,439 - [Ship] Hold on. 1411 01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:21,510 That's the worst, most dangerous place in the universe? 1412 01:11:24,513 --> 01:11:26,081 - Yeah, apparently this is it. 1413 01:11:26,081 --> 01:11:27,850 - [Ship] Do you know what this is? 1414 01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:29,585 It's like one, one of those world's best cup of coffee 1415 01:11:29,585 --> 01:11:31,453 bullshit slogan things. 1416 01:11:31,453 --> 01:11:34,390 It's like, "Oh yes, that shitty little cafe 1417 01:11:34,390 --> 01:11:37,760 has the world's best cup of coffee." 1418 01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:38,460 - Ship. 1419 01:11:38,460 --> 01:11:39,762 - [Ship] What? 1420 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:44,066 (intense music) 1421 01:11:50,339 --> 01:11:52,274 - [Ship] Oh, God. 1422 01:11:52,274 --> 01:11:53,342 - Hey. 1423 01:11:57,680 --> 01:11:59,214 I'm so happy. 1424 01:11:59,214 --> 01:12:01,950 (meteor blasts) 1425 01:12:03,218 --> 01:12:06,021 (intense music) 1426 01:12:07,623 --> 01:12:10,559 - It shot us! - Right in the face. 1427 01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:13,228 I'm sorry I took you here, you should take us back. 1428 01:12:13,228 --> 01:12:14,763 - Don't you dare. 1429 01:12:14,763 --> 01:12:18,100 You are not the same shy, sad, pathetic, 1430 01:12:18,100 --> 01:12:21,136 boring, miserable princess you were when you hopped aboard. 1431 01:12:21,136 --> 01:12:24,640 My generous wisdom and guidance has helped shape you 1432 01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:29,211 into the strong lady warrior sitting here right now. 1433 01:12:29,845 --> 01:12:34,950 So what are you gonna do, Sangria? 1434 01:12:35,918 --> 01:12:37,286 - I know what to do. 1435 01:12:37,286 --> 01:12:40,055 (intense music) 1436 01:12:41,390 --> 01:12:45,627 Okay, mama's driving now. (grunting) 1437 01:12:45,627 --> 01:12:47,029 (intense music continues) 1438 01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:48,864 (Saira yells) 1439 01:12:48,864 --> 01:12:50,065 - Ow, fuck. 1440 01:12:50,065 --> 01:12:51,300 (robot growls) 1441 01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:54,103 (beam blasts) 1442 01:12:54,103 --> 01:12:55,871 It's really on me. 1443 01:12:55,871 --> 01:12:58,640 - Shit, this isn't working. (gasps) 1444 01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:01,543 I think I've got an idea. 1445 01:13:01,543 --> 01:13:02,878 - I trust you. 1446 01:13:06,882 --> 01:13:09,718 (Saira yelling) 1447 01:13:09,718 --> 01:13:14,623 - [Ship] Take it back, I take it back, I don't trust you! 1448 01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:17,359 (lasers zapping) 1449 01:13:17,359 --> 01:13:19,194 (intense music) 1450 01:13:19,194 --> 01:13:22,431 (singers vocalising) 1451 01:13:31,774 --> 01:13:34,243 (ship blasts) 1452 01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:37,112 (penis gasps) 1453 01:13:37,112 --> 01:13:38,580 (ship beeping) 1454 01:13:38,580 --> 01:13:41,817 (singers vocalising) 1455 01:13:46,221 --> 01:13:49,124 (explosion booms) 1456 01:13:50,092 --> 01:13:53,562 (Ship and Saira yelling) 1457 01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:57,299 (bird squawking) 1458 01:13:57,299 --> 01:14:01,103 (Ship coughing) 1459 01:14:02,404 --> 01:14:04,540 - Oh, that does not sound good. 1460 01:14:04,540 --> 01:14:06,208 - What, me? 1461 01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:07,342 I feel great. 1462 01:14:07,342 --> 01:14:09,077 (wheel clanks) 1463 01:14:09,077 --> 01:14:12,181 Get outta here, go save your stupid ex-girlfriend. 1464 01:14:12,181 --> 01:14:14,249 (intense music) 1465 01:14:14,249 --> 01:14:17,820 Oh, and I guess, be careful, okay? 1466 01:14:17,820 --> 01:14:19,288 - Hey. 1467 01:14:19,288 --> 01:14:20,522 Thanks for being an ally back there. 1468 01:14:20,522 --> 01:14:22,057 - [Ship] Ew, what? 1469 01:14:22,057 --> 01:14:22,925 I'm not gay. 1470 01:14:24,293 --> 01:14:26,895 (timer beeps) 1471 01:14:27,863 --> 01:14:29,531 (Kiki gulps) 1472 01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:32,568 (dramatic music) 1473 01:14:40,509 --> 01:14:42,144 - [Malien] Boys, I miss the thespian. 1474 01:14:42,144 --> 01:14:43,479 - Hey. - [Malien] What? 1475 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,446 - [Malien] Oh, you shouldn't have- 1476 01:14:44,446 --> 01:14:45,848 - I've got the labrys. 1477 01:14:45,848 --> 01:14:46,782 - Shouldn't have killed the thespian. 1478 01:14:46,782 --> 01:14:48,517 - I miss that thespian. 1479 01:14:48,517 --> 01:14:49,651 - [Larry] Shouldn't have killed the thespian. 1480 01:14:49,651 --> 01:14:51,286 - Putting on plays and stuff. 1481 01:14:51,286 --> 01:14:52,788 - [Larry] Why'd you tell him to kill the thespian? 1482 01:14:52,788 --> 01:14:54,590 - I said, hey, I've got the labrys. 1483 01:14:54,590 --> 01:14:56,358 - I remember specifically. - I fucking didn't. 1484 01:14:56,358 --> 01:14:58,560 They did my favourite one man show of "Book of Mormon." 1485 01:14:58,560 --> 01:14:59,561 - [Malien] Yeah. 1486 01:14:59,561 --> 01:15:00,629 (Malien gasps) 1487 01:15:00,629 --> 01:15:01,830 - Our labrys is here! 1488 01:15:03,031 --> 01:15:05,801 - [Maliens] Oh. - Our labrys is here! 1489 01:15:05,801 --> 01:15:07,302 Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, 1490 01:15:07,302 --> 01:15:09,771 gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. (grunts) 1491 01:15:09,771 --> 01:15:11,106 - Oh. 1492 01:15:11,106 --> 01:15:14,109 (Maliens cheering) 1493 01:15:14,109 --> 01:15:15,978 Now, let Kiki go. 1494 01:15:15,978 --> 01:15:19,181 - Oh, gladly, terrible deal for you if you ask me, take her. 1495 01:15:19,181 --> 01:15:21,683 Get her outta here, look at the labrys. 1496 01:15:22,885 --> 01:15:25,687 (magical music) 1497 01:15:31,293 --> 01:15:32,194 - Hey. 1498 01:15:33,161 --> 01:15:35,731 - You saved me. 1499 01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:40,269 I'm free! (laughing) 1500 01:15:40,269 --> 01:15:41,570 I'm finally free. 1501 01:15:43,105 --> 01:15:45,774 Oh God, I thought I was gonna die, whew. 1502 01:15:46,608 --> 01:15:48,677 - You know, if we hurry, we could still go 1503 01:15:48,677 --> 01:15:50,779 to the Lesbian Ball together. 1504 01:15:53,315 --> 01:15:57,786 - Yeah, I don't think so. 1505 01:15:57,786 --> 01:15:59,354 - [Malien] Ooh, rough. 1506 01:15:59,354 --> 01:16:01,924 - But I came all this way for you. 1507 01:16:01,924 --> 01:16:05,260 - Yeah, well, you kind of got me into this mess. 1508 01:16:05,260 --> 01:16:08,630 - But you said that maybe if I was different. 1509 01:16:10,065 --> 01:16:14,202 - Listen, I'm so grateful you saved me. 1510 01:16:14,202 --> 01:16:16,505 I'm genuinely impressed you made it here. 1511 01:16:16,505 --> 01:16:17,573 - Mm-hmm. 1512 01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:23,278 - But I don't owe you anything, nothing's changed. 1513 01:16:24,346 --> 01:16:28,884 - But I have. 1514 01:16:29,651 --> 01:16:32,287 - Ugh, again, with the crying. 1515 01:16:34,523 --> 01:16:36,892 Look, I really don't want to be mean, 1516 01:16:36,892 --> 01:16:38,627 but it never really made sense 1517 01:16:38,627 --> 01:16:40,696 that I was with you in the first place. 1518 01:16:40,696 --> 01:16:41,830 You know what I mean? 1519 01:16:41,830 --> 01:16:43,131 - What's happening to it? 1520 01:16:43,131 --> 01:16:44,533 - [Maliens] Fuck! 1521 01:16:44,533 --> 01:16:47,336 - What the hell, princess, we had a deal! 1522 01:16:47,336 --> 01:16:49,304 (Saira yelps) 1523 01:16:49,304 --> 01:16:50,739 I'm upset, fuck! 1524 01:16:51,740 --> 01:16:54,142 - [Malien] Fuck! - [Malien] Fuck! 1525 01:16:55,243 --> 01:16:57,913 (sombre music) 1526 01:16:59,147 --> 01:17:01,683 (Kiki sighs) 1527 01:17:03,518 --> 01:17:06,321 (Saira whimpers) 1528 01:17:13,161 --> 01:17:14,062 - Huh? 1529 01:17:17,399 --> 01:17:18,266 Huh. 1530 01:17:26,541 --> 01:17:29,478 (intense music) 1531 01:17:29,478 --> 01:17:32,881 - [Monster] I knew you couldn't ignore me for long. 1532 01:17:32,881 --> 01:17:35,150 You haven't changed at all. 1533 01:17:35,417 --> 01:17:37,619 Get it into your thick head. 1534 01:17:37,619 --> 01:17:40,522 You are not good enough for Kiki. 1535 01:17:40,522 --> 01:17:42,924 Without her, you're nothing. 1536 01:17:48,463 --> 01:17:49,765 - That's not true. 1537 01:17:49,765 --> 01:17:51,533 - [Monster] Yes, it is. 1538 01:17:51,533 --> 01:17:54,236 Even your own moms don't like you. 1539 01:17:54,236 --> 01:17:58,206 - Just stop it, stop criticising me. 1540 01:18:00,008 --> 01:18:01,209 - [Maliens] What the fuck? 1541 01:18:01,209 --> 01:18:03,011 - [Monster] You disappoint everyone. 1542 01:18:03,011 --> 01:18:05,013 I'm just telling you how it is. 1543 01:18:05,013 --> 01:18:06,515 - Are you? 1544 01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:10,018 Maybe my moms are just bad parents. 1545 01:18:10,285 --> 01:18:14,623 Maybe Kiki is actually a narcissistic asshole, 1546 01:18:14,623 --> 01:18:17,793 and I deserve better. 1547 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,530 I'm not always the problem. 1548 01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:23,799 - [Monster] Yes you are. 1549 01:18:23,799 --> 01:18:25,901 - I don't think so. 1550 01:18:25,901 --> 01:18:27,169 - [Monster] You're a boring little wimp, and you know it. 1551 01:18:27,169 --> 01:18:30,072 - Ah, shut the fuck up. (screaming) 1552 01:18:34,142 --> 01:18:34,876 (explosion blasts) 1553 01:18:34,876 --> 01:18:37,713 (upbeat music) 1554 01:18:47,856 --> 01:18:51,359 (upbeat music continues) 1555 01:18:53,995 --> 01:18:57,699 ♪ Ooh ♪ 1556 01:18:57,699 --> 01:18:59,534 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 1557 01:18:59,534 --> 01:19:01,503 ♪ Ooh ♪ 1558 01:19:02,504 --> 01:19:06,441 - Oh, good and great, you got it back, now hand it over. 1559 01:19:08,009 --> 01:19:09,044 - No. 1560 01:19:09,044 --> 01:19:10,712 - What? - [Maliens] What? 1561 01:19:10,712 --> 01:19:11,947 - What? 1562 01:19:11,947 --> 01:19:13,115 - But you said we could have it 1563 01:19:13,115 --> 01:19:15,317 if we gave you the mean lady. 1564 01:19:15,317 --> 01:19:17,753 - You can't have a lesbian and a lesbian thing. 1565 01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:18,954 - That's too many- 1566 01:19:18,954 --> 01:19:20,055 - What? - Things, 1567 01:19:20,055 --> 01:19:21,456 'Cause we don't have any- 1568 01:19:21,456 --> 01:19:22,557 - [Maliens] What? - What? 1569 01:19:22,557 --> 01:19:24,626 (Malien screams) 1570 01:19:24,626 --> 01:19:27,896 - I'm crying. (screams) 1571 01:19:27,896 --> 01:19:29,331 - No, you're not. 1572 01:19:29,331 --> 01:19:30,832 - Aren't I? - No. 1573 01:19:34,503 --> 01:19:36,204 - [Malien] We had a deal! 1574 01:19:36,204 --> 01:19:37,372 - [Saira] Yeah, well, sometimes things don't work out 1575 01:19:37,372 --> 01:19:38,807 how you want them to. 1576 01:19:38,807 --> 01:19:42,644 - Oh, well we know that all too well. 1577 01:19:42,644 --> 01:19:45,113 (dramatic music) 1578 01:19:45,113 --> 01:19:48,049 - [Josh] Give it back, it's ours! 1579 01:19:49,918 --> 01:19:50,986 (Josh laughs) 1580 01:19:50,986 --> 01:19:53,188 - Actually, it's mine. 1581 01:19:53,188 --> 01:19:54,189 - Oh, oh. 1582 01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:59,127 (Josh screaming) 1583 01:20:00,729 --> 01:20:02,631 - Why do you even need it? 1584 01:20:03,398 --> 01:20:08,570 - Well, because if we don't have your labrys 1585 01:20:08,570 --> 01:20:12,874 to power our chick magnet, then we'll never get hot chicks. 1586 01:20:12,874 --> 01:20:14,876 - And we'll be losers forever. 1587 01:20:14,876 --> 01:20:17,913 - Wait, that's seriously why you want it? 1588 01:20:19,514 --> 01:20:21,883 - We don't exactly have chicks 1589 01:20:21,883 --> 01:20:23,885 knocking down our door. 1590 01:20:23,885 --> 01:20:26,855 - No. - I leave my door open, 1591 01:20:26,855 --> 01:20:28,824 and they still don't come through. 1592 01:20:30,392 --> 01:20:33,595 - Yeah, but all the chick magnets in the world 1593 01:20:33,595 --> 01:20:34,563 won't help you. 1594 01:20:35,797 --> 01:20:38,934 I went through all of this. 1595 01:20:38,934 --> 01:20:42,971 And why, 'cause I wanted Kiki to love me? 1596 01:20:44,639 --> 01:20:47,509 But now I see my biggest problem 1597 01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:50,979 was that I didn't even love myself. 1598 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:55,350 We deserve to love ourselves without a chick magnet 1599 01:20:55,584 --> 01:20:57,986 or a hot as fuck girlfriend. 1600 01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:01,990 (angelic music) 1601 01:21:01,990 --> 01:21:05,727 - Wow, I mean, no, you're full of shit. 1602 01:21:05,961 --> 01:21:07,629 Get her, boys! 1603 01:21:07,629 --> 01:21:09,965 (dramatic music) 1604 01:21:09,965 --> 01:21:13,001 (Malien laughing) 1605 01:21:21,309 --> 01:21:25,146 - [Magnet] Incoming chicks, incoming chicks. 1606 01:21:25,146 --> 01:21:29,351 Incoming chicks, incoming chicks, incoming chicks. 1607 01:21:30,785 --> 01:21:33,755 (chick screaming) 1608 01:21:33,755 --> 01:21:35,824 (blood trickling) 1609 01:21:35,824 --> 01:21:38,660 (labrys clatters) 1610 01:21:39,961 --> 01:21:41,563 (Larry clears throat) 1611 01:21:41,563 --> 01:21:45,300 - Wait, guys, I, I just had a random thought. 1612 01:21:45,300 --> 01:21:48,870 All the chick magnets in the world won't help us. 1613 01:21:49,471 --> 01:21:52,807 We went through all of this, and why? 1614 01:21:53,041 --> 01:21:56,411 Because we wanted chicks to love us. 1615 01:21:57,712 --> 01:22:00,048 But now I see our biggest problem 1616 01:22:00,048 --> 01:22:03,685 is that we don't even love ourselves. 1617 01:22:03,685 --> 01:22:04,619 - [Maliens] Oh. 1618 01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:10,292 - We deserve to love ourselves without a chick magnet, 1619 01:22:10,292 --> 01:22:12,394 or a hot as fuck girlfriend. 1620 01:22:14,296 --> 01:22:18,333 - Wow, that was beautiful, bro. 1621 01:22:19,935 --> 01:22:21,202 - I'm proud of you, man. 1622 01:22:21,569 --> 01:22:24,139 - You are so smart. - [Larry] Thank you. 1623 01:22:24,139 --> 01:22:26,174 - God, you all deserve one another. 1624 01:22:26,174 --> 01:22:28,176 Shame you can't just date each other. 1625 01:22:34,215 --> 01:22:39,254 - I mean, we would have the best time, like all the time. 1626 01:22:40,188 --> 01:22:45,827 - Yeah, and well, I guess they do say 1627 01:22:45,827 --> 01:22:47,295 you should date your best friends. 1628 01:22:47,295 --> 01:22:49,130 - [Malien] Yeah. - Yeah, they do say that. 1629 01:22:49,130 --> 01:22:51,566 And I hear, I hear sexuality is a bit of a spectrum. 1630 01:22:51,566 --> 01:22:53,234 - [Malien] It is. - [Malien] Can be. 1631 01:22:53,234 --> 01:22:54,302 It is a spectrum. - You know what I mean? 1632 01:22:54,302 --> 01:22:55,003 - [Malien] It is, it's a whole- 1633 01:22:55,003 --> 01:22:56,371 - Yeah. 1634 01:22:56,371 --> 01:22:57,772 - [Malien] It's a whole spectrum. 1635 01:22:57,772 --> 01:22:59,174 - Yeah. - [Josh] So, you know. 1636 01:22:59,174 --> 01:23:00,275 - Yeah, yeah. - [Josh] Put it out. 1637 01:23:00,275 --> 01:23:01,476 We would have the best time. 1638 01:23:01,476 --> 01:23:02,811 - Oh. (stammers) 1639 01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:04,012 (kiss smacking) 1640 01:23:04,012 --> 01:23:05,880 (romantic music) 1641 01:23:05,880 --> 01:23:07,882 - Hmm, oh, yeah. 1642 01:23:07,882 --> 01:23:09,985 (kiss smacks) 1643 01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:12,520 (kisses smack) 1644 01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:13,955 (kisses smack) 1645 01:23:13,955 --> 01:23:16,124 - [Malien] Just, Larry. - [Larry] Yeah. 1646 01:23:16,124 --> 01:23:17,959 - [Malien] Just come over here for a second, yeah. 1647 01:23:17,959 --> 01:23:19,661 (kisses smack) 1648 01:23:19,661 --> 01:23:21,529 - [Larry] Okay, just a little. 1649 01:23:21,529 --> 01:23:22,931 - [Josh] Oh, yeah. 1650 01:23:22,931 --> 01:23:23,732 - [Malien] Can I just have a soft one? 1651 01:23:23,732 --> 01:23:24,632 - [Josh] Oh. 1652 01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:26,234 (kisses smack) 1653 01:23:26,234 --> 01:23:27,235 - [Malien] Can you do the rough stuff with me? 1654 01:23:27,235 --> 01:23:29,371 - [Josh] Come here, you. 1655 01:23:30,605 --> 01:23:33,008 (Kiki grunting) 1656 01:23:33,008 --> 01:23:34,976 - Let me in. 1657 01:23:34,976 --> 01:23:39,280 - [Ship] I told you we're not going anywhere without Saira. 1658 01:23:39,781 --> 01:23:40,982 - What are you doing? 1659 01:23:40,982 --> 01:23:42,584 - Saira? 1660 01:23:42,584 --> 01:23:47,789 Oh, thank God you're okay. (laughs) 1661 01:23:47,789 --> 01:23:49,057 Mind if I 1662 01:23:50,091 --> 01:23:52,193 bum a lift? 1663 01:23:52,193 --> 01:23:56,498 - Yeah, I just don't think that would really make sense. 1664 01:23:56,965 --> 01:23:59,100 You know what I mean? 1665 01:23:59,100 --> 01:24:01,736 - Oh, come on, are you seriously mad at me? 1666 01:24:01,736 --> 01:24:03,438 - Yeah. - Fair. 1667 01:24:05,707 --> 01:24:07,208 - [Saira] You're looking better. 1668 01:24:07,208 --> 01:24:10,478 - [Ship] Yeah, it was mostly just cum. 1669 01:24:10,478 --> 01:24:12,080 (ship humming) 1670 01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:15,383 - Oh, fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 1671 01:24:15,383 --> 01:24:18,053 - [Ship] We don't wanna ever see you again. 1672 01:24:18,053 --> 01:24:20,221 - [Saira] Oh, you can have this back. 1673 01:24:22,624 --> 01:24:24,659 - I've never been more attracted to you. 1674 01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:29,197 - [Ship] Where to now, Sasha? 1675 01:24:29,197 --> 01:24:30,465 - Back to Clitopolis. 1676 01:24:30,465 --> 01:24:32,100 - [Ship] No. 1677 01:24:32,100 --> 01:24:35,537 - Also, just as a heads up, it's Saira. 1678 01:24:36,538 --> 01:24:38,173 - [Ship] Oh my God. 1679 01:24:38,173 --> 01:24:39,641 Have I been saying it wrong the whole time? 1680 01:24:39,641 --> 01:24:42,744 That is so embarrassing. 1681 01:24:42,744 --> 01:24:44,546 I am so sorry, Saiyeera. 1682 01:24:44,546 --> 01:24:45,380 - [Saira] Saira. 1683 01:24:46,314 --> 01:24:48,049 - [Ship] That's what I'm saying. 1684 01:24:48,049 --> 01:24:50,251 - [Saira] No, listen to what I'm saying. 1685 01:24:54,089 --> 01:24:58,326 ♪ Are you seriously friendzoning me ♪ 1686 01:24:58,326 --> 01:25:03,198 ♪ You can't be seriously friendzoning me ♪ 1687 01:25:03,198 --> 01:25:06,835 ♪ Say you don't even wanna be poly ♪ 1688 01:25:06,835 --> 01:25:11,873 ♪ I can't believe this, you're friendzoning me ♪ 1689 01:25:12,707 --> 01:25:13,842 (upbeat music) 1690 01:25:13,842 --> 01:25:17,912 ♪ You were my desire ♪ 1691 01:25:17,912 --> 01:25:22,584 ♪ My heart was up higher ♪ 1692 01:25:22,584 --> 01:25:27,355 ♪ But you burned it down like fire ♪ 1693 01:25:27,355 --> 01:25:32,193 ♪ Oh, you better watch out for Saira ♪ 1694 01:25:32,193 --> 01:25:36,531 ♪ Yeah, you better watch out for Saira ♪ 1695 01:25:36,531 --> 01:25:41,636 ♪ Well, you better watch out for Saira ♪ 1696 01:25:45,473 --> 01:25:48,877 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1697 01:25:48,877 --> 01:25:50,378 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1698 01:25:50,378 --> 01:25:53,281 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1699 01:25:53,281 --> 01:25:54,782 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1700 01:25:54,782 --> 01:25:55,817 ♪ Just because you ♪ 1701 01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:57,018 (singer vocalising) 1702 01:25:57,018 --> 01:25:59,187 ♪ Doesn't mean I owe you shit ♪ 1703 01:25:59,187 --> 01:26:01,389 ♪ Just because you shot your shot ♪ 1704 01:26:01,389 --> 01:26:03,892 ♪ Doesn't mean that you get it ♪ 1705 01:26:03,892 --> 01:26:06,161 ♪ This isn't a transaction ♪ 1706 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,496 ♪ Your kind of satisfaction ♪ 1707 01:26:08,496 --> 01:26:13,168 ♪ Doesn't buy you a fuck, I don't owe you shit ♪ 1708 01:26:13,168 --> 01:26:16,638 ♪ Not in the friendzone ♪ 1709 01:26:16,638 --> 01:26:18,473 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1710 01:26:18,473 --> 01:26:22,377 ♪ Don't believe it, asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪ 1711 01:26:22,377 --> 01:26:23,778 ♪ You don't get to ♪ 1712 01:26:23,778 --> 01:26:27,148 (singer vocalising) 1713 01:26:27,148 --> 01:26:29,317 ♪ Just because you pretend to care ♪ 1714 01:26:29,317 --> 01:26:31,853 ♪ Doesn't mean I drop my pants ♪ 1715 01:26:31,853 --> 01:26:34,155 ♪ This isn't a transaction ♪ 1716 01:26:34,155 --> 01:26:36,524 ♪ Your kind of satisfaction ♪ 1717 01:26:36,524 --> 01:26:40,929 ♪ Doesn't buy you a fuck, I don't owe you shit ♪ 1718 01:26:40,929 --> 01:26:44,566 ♪ Not in the friendzone ♪ 1719 01:26:44,566 --> 01:26:46,334 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1720 01:26:46,334 --> 01:26:50,238 ♪ Don't believe it, asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪ 1721 01:26:50,238 --> 01:26:53,741 ♪ Not in the friendzone ♪ 1722 01:26:53,741 --> 01:26:55,510 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1723 01:26:55,510 --> 01:26:59,581 ♪ Don't believe it, asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪ 1724 01:26:59,581 --> 01:27:03,117 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1725 01:27:03,117 --> 01:27:04,619 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1726 01:27:04,619 --> 01:27:07,755 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1727 01:27:07,755 --> 01:27:10,091 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1728 01:27:10,091 --> 01:27:12,026 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 1729 01:27:12,026 --> 01:27:14,529 ♪ Saira, there she goes ♪ 1730 01:27:14,529 --> 01:27:16,931 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1731 01:27:16,931 --> 01:27:20,635 ♪ There she goes, oh, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1732 01:27:20,635 --> 01:27:24,072 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1733 01:27:24,072 --> 01:27:26,441 ♪ Yeah, wrote my song down ♪ 1734 01:27:27,175 --> 01:27:28,376 ♪ Woo ♪ 114441