Original subtitles

Well, I think last night's opening performance went swimmingly, wouldn't

say?

Yeah, you would.

You said it was fine.

Oh, I said you could.

Of course you could.

Sure, but I'm waiting for Deb's next one, Hillary Muff.

She's dreamy.

Now, Brighton, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Still in the preliminary stages.

Besides, I don't even know who this Hillary Muff is.

Mr. Sheffield, you don't know who Hillary Muff is?

She was only Grace's favorite character on the Melvin Mapp Club.

Miss Five, if it's all the same to you, I'd prefer not to talk about Grace. Poor

Grace. You know she got sent away just because she had three personalities?

Let us not forget that one of her personalities tried to burn down the

Miss Five!

Look, the CC has assured me that Donald Hump is interested in investing in us if

we can secure things with Miss Hillary Mapp. So?

I'm crossing my fingers. This could be a great big deal.

Now, Frighten, feel free. Run along. Go spend Daddy's money.

Bye, Dad.

Love you.

And your money.

I'm sorry.

Never mind.

Your newspaper has arrived.

I look forward to reading last night's reviews. Thank you, old boy.

Let me see it.

Oh, look, it's a picture of me.

May I have that back, Miss Bond?

Oh, yeah. The review.

Terrible.

Yeah, it's quite nice. You can see Miss Bond clearly in the children.

That's not the correct picture. The review.

One reviewer says he lost so hard he nearly wet his pants.

Well, that's a good thing, sir.

Wasn't it a bloody comedy?

It wasn't. I mean, a...

Of course it wasn't.

Now securing things with Miss Hilary Muff will be even that much more crucial

getting Mr. Hump on board.

Miles, that would be the doorbell.

Oh, thank you. How did I ever get on without you?

If he keeps that up, he's going to soon find out.

Mr. Sheffield, you're just upset about the bad review.

Well, I suppose you're right.

She's here.

Um, Niles, tell her I'll be right there.

Oh, no, no, no. Let me go get it. I gotta go get an autograph for my cousin

David. Well, I'm glad you didn't invite him here to meet her.

Of course I didn't.

He's not allowed in 500 feet of earth.

Restraining order.

Hmm. Clever lineage.

Yeah. I know I said I wasn't interested in doing anything on Broadway, but then

I saw that picture in the paper.

He's just so cute.

I came straight over. I don't even know if he's home.

What are you doing, Miss Fine? Did you get your autograph?

Oh, uh, no.

I couldn't find a pen.

Well, there you go. Now hurry up.

No, thanks. It's okay.

Look, I think she's going to be a big problem.

Well, what's come over you?

I wish you would, Mr. Sheffield.

No, it's fine. That's quite crass. Now, run along. I've got business to attend

to.

Could it be that the hen is afraid of the chickies?

Look, this hen has been working for the same rooster for the past ten years.

And if anyone's going to lay his eggs, it's going to be me.

Sorry to barge in like this. I hope you weren't spending time with your family.

No, not at all. In fact, my children are at school right now.

Oh, hey, I just remembered I have another appointment.

Is it okay if I come back around dinner time?

Would that be imposing?

No, not at all.

In fact, I'll have Niles set a place for you.

Great. What time should I be here?

Say 6 .30.

Cool. I'll see you then.

Niles, please show Miss Muffler the door. And she'll be returning for

so... Set a place for her. Yes, sir.

I live to serve.

Please, this way.

Miss Fine, please come over here.

Yes, Mr. Sheffield.

Miss Muff left quite abruptly.

You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?

No, not at all.

Although I will tell you one thing.

When she walked through that door today...

I only thought this.

This girl is a mashugana.

Please, Miss Fine.

She'll be returning for dinner.

Okay? I need you to be on your best behavior.

And I want something very special prepared.

No, thanks. Not for me.

I'll be having chicken.

Good to see you Kevin. I didn't know you were delivering to our family tonight.

No, neither did I.

Well, it's really good to see you.

I don't wanna fuck it slower.

Well,

he's coming. I mean, he's coming along.

I don't know what the devil is wrong with you two, but I need to prepare for

Miss Martin.

Well, look, Mr. Sheffield.

I read that Miss Hillary, she really, really likes fresh -cut flowers.

Maybe you should go and buy her some.

Well, thank you, Miss Fine, for that wonderful tidbit of information.

But I would think that would be something one of my servants would do

Look, Niles is getting dinner ready, and I gotta go help Maggie get dressed.

Maggie needs help getting dressed?

Yes, somebody definitely needs to do it.

Oh, bloody hell, I'll do it myself.

Now I can't change.

Look, I'm gonna go help Maggie.

Niles, what the bloody hell? at all, Mr. Spine?

Well, I can assure you, sir, that I have been friends with Miss Spine for a

long, long time, and there's nothing in this world, nor in this heaven, that

would separate our secret trust.

Oh, that's perfect. I, um, I wonder if my next butler will feel the same way.

Well, since you put it that way, it would seem that Miss Spine believes that

Miss Muff is interested in you romantically.

But that's preposterous. I'm nearly twice her age.

It's true?

No. No, sir.

Believe me, at least three times, ma 'am.

That's not what I meant. I meant, do you think it's true that Hillary is

attracted to me romantically?

Well, sir, it would seem that Miss Fine overheard Miss Muff on the phone

discussing your play, which she was not interested in. However, she saw a

photograph with you, and she expressed some romantic interest.

Well, that would explain her behavior, then.

Irrational, even for her.

Look, we should keep them separated until the contract's with her.

I can't wait for the evening to get here.

Yes, I'm all excited.

Hello, Niall.

Hello, Miss Buck. I will call Mr. Sheffield if you have arrived.

Actually, I was wondering if I could meet Brighton for dinner.

Brighton? You two know each other?

No, but I saw his picture in the morning paper, and he's so cute.

I wasn't really interested in the play, but I figured I could meet him.

Of course, that would make much more sense.

I'm not sure you mean, but I was wondering if Maxwell could do business

dinner. I'm sure that would be fine.

As I'm sure Miss Fine has been waiting for Mr.

Sheffield to give her the business for over a decade.

Okay, see you in a bit.

Now, yes, what to do with this useful information?

Say, Hans, what do you think I should do about the situation with Miss Muff and

Miss Fine?

Surely you've spoken with Miss Fine.

Well, actually, I've been working my fingers to the bone working on tonight's

entree. Don't you mean just the one finger?

I've never... Yes, I know.

Well, it would seem, Phil, that I do have some useful information.

It would seem that Miss Fine did say Miss Muff correctly, and she is actually

quite smitten.

Oh, poor girl.

sure it'll work itself all out.

I'm sure you'll take a phone call to the manager, and then Mr. Bangkok will take

care of everything, and then there'll be no flood of emotions or anything

whatsoever.

Well, I'm sure you're right.

And... Yes, go on.

And now would be a golden opportunity for you to tell Miss Fine about your

genuine feelings with her.

Well, I suppose the cat -and -mouse game has gone on long enough.

Thanks, little boy.

No one's counting on you now.

As you were.

Yeah.

I have had a bad butt, but I haven't died.

So you say you saw my picture in the newspaper and wanted to meet me?

Yes, right. And you know how hard it is to meet a nice guy.

All the guys I meet are either in the entertainment business or I infatuate

them. Oh, I see.

Well, that's terrible.

Yeah, I figured you meet entertainers all the time, so it's no big deal.

Yeah, sure. No big deal.

oh oh

Wow!

As usual.

What a lovely, unexpected surprise.

Hi, Niles.

Actually, Fran is expecting me. We're going out.

No.

Now? No, not now.

She didn't want to be here when Hilary Muff was here?

Um, I don't believe that Miss Fine will be joining you for tonight's activities.

Is she busy now?

With any luck, she's getting busy right now. If you'll excuse me for a moment.

Wait right here.

Now, sir, this is Val.

She will keep you entertained while I figure something out. Someone out.

Find someone. Do something.

Please, entertain her with your charming intellect.

Are you working, girl?

Yeah, sure.

I sweep hair at Gina's hair and nail emporium.

I'm Hibbley Muff's manager.

Get out of here. You're her manager?

My, so young and good looking.

Well, hey.

Here I thought, aren't you an inspiring actress or model?

Get out of here, really?

I've always wanted to be a model.

Trust me. Yeah? All right. Any advice you could give a lady?

Oh, I got a good one.

Why don't you suck my dick?

Okay. Yeah?

Yeah. All right. Mr.

Manager. That's right.

You'll be my manager.

Hello.

Now I wouldn't say anything.

God.

Take these.

Yeah,

that's good.

So use the Lord's name in vain.

There you

go.

Yeah.

Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.

God damn.

You like that big ass? Yeah.

Now that's a Brooklyn ass.

Fucking lick that shit.

Wow. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Mm, yeah, like my little cannoli.

Oh, yeah. You are.

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh, that's fucking good.

Yeah. That's like the fucking meat hanging in Sal's fucking windows.

Yeah.

You're right for a whole lot.

Yes.

There you go.

Get out of here. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Beautiful.

Yeah.

Oh, wow. Oh.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, right there. Right there. Good.

Yeah.

Oh,

wow.

Yeah. Let me help you.

Yeah, there I go. There you go. There I go.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we make a good team. Yes.

There you go.

Yeah, let me give you some. Look at that.

Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, give it to me, Mr. Manager.

You got it.

Yeah.

You should be a star.

Oh.

Yeah, baby.

Shit. Oh, yeah

Didn't get long, did I?

Let's go over there. Over there. Over there on the leather.

Huh? Huh?

It's just leather.

Something works out.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right. What do you want? Sit down? Sit down, baby.

Sit down.

Oh.

Yeah, right there. Right here? Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Right here.

You're going to do that?

Something good. You're going to do that?

Something good for you. You're going to do that?

You're doing it. Oh, yeah. You're doing it.

That's good.

Oh wow!

That's good.

Thank you.

Fucking good

Look at those balls. Look at those balls.

Look at those balls.

Yeah. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. Yeah, baby.

Keep looking.

So, you see, she's way too young for me. And besides, if I would ever get

involved with anyone romantically, they'd have to not only love me, but

children.

Well, where are you going to find somebody like that?

Yes, I catch your subtle hint, Miss Fire.

Truth be told, I do have some unexplored feelings for you as well.

What would people say if I suddenly...

kept company with a member of my staff.

Well, like my mother would say, it's about time. It's been ten years.

Well, I suppose you're right. It has been a long time coming, and neither one

us is getting any younger.

Although you do seem to celebrate the same birthday.

Oh,

Mr. Sheffield, you're so funny.

Thank you.

Oh yeah.

Oh Maxwell.

Of course. Now I'm going to have to kill you.

With what weapon?

Where's everybody at?

You've missed dinner, and everyone's already been stuffed.

You had a passenger on your broom. Perhaps you could have taken the high

-occupancy vehicle lane.

I despise you.

I loathe you.

Servants? Trump.

Bellboy.

I have a better weapon than I ever expected you to have.

Fucking deep inside here.

It's like you wanted to fuck

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah. Oh,

yeah.

I don't realize you're being rude to me.

Huh?

Call me a wanker. I don't realize you're being rude to me.

I don't know.

Maybe you just have to shut the fuck up.

Why don't you show me how well you know how to talk right now? I'm gonna steal

your car and put you in my little fucking English baby.

There it is.

There it is.

There it is.

There you go. There it is.

There you go. There you go. There you go, Butler.

Sorry.

Fuck just.

You're watching an accident, but again, it shouldn't have happened.

It's like they all know me about.

I have a fucking dick next to me.

I'm dying to serve you.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

shit.

Let's take that out.

I don't want to do it. I'm going to take off this fucking mask.

I'm digging deep inside myself.

You're making my body fucking worse than it is.

You know how

you've

been fucking bad to me?

You love me harder, huh? Pretty little fucking girl.

Hard. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to fucking feel that dick hurt me.

Fuck!

Fucking wanker.

I don't like it.

I don't like it.

I'm fucking cold.

Fucking balls.

Fuck me, Jason.

Oh.

Do you see how high it is? Do you want to taste it?

It's so hard.

I can't feel my chin.

I don't fucking want to cum. I fucking love it.

Take the punishment from that girl.

Oh, yeah.

Hurt me with that big dicky.

Hunter, make me cry.

I want to cry because I didn't have a choice.

Please, hurt me.

Oh, fuck yeah, I do want to come to you.

FALL!