Original subtitles

Come on!

No.2, come on!

No.2, come on!

Come on!

Shit, can't I ever win?

Pay up!

What are you doing?

I've lost everything, I can't pay

Don't talk nonsense, I've lost badly

I should've been nicer to him

Give me a few days grace

You said you couldn't pay

Forget it, I'll pay you back for sure

I'll go and try. Bye-bye!

Pao

Okay, I'll help you find someone

Pao

Tsai. Any work to do?

This plece of bread is all I have left

Business has been pretty slow these days?

My tummy's squeaking with hunger

Just stick out your tongue

Don't make fun of me

Stick it out

Your tongue's so thick and fat

See how mine is

The way you bite is cute

Don't make fun of me

I'd to bite tongue if I had nothing to eat

Now | work for you

Others won't take it. Would you?

Yes!

A guinea pig is needed for a Research Institute

Can you stand the ordeal?

Sure, why not?

Are you a volunteer?

Not exactly, I'm getting paid for this

Sign here. You'll be called in a minute

I'll get paid then, right?

Of course, please have a seat

So, you're another guinea plg

Yeah!

Mr Chien

Coming

Ouch!

You made a mistake

Doctor, aim well like you do in a gambling

Sorry, I'm not a good gambler

Ouch!

That's not it either

Wrong again!

Let me make the decision

Professor, if it hurts, it's wrong

Is it here? I can't find the point

My acupuncture points are off after five

You did very well

There's not much difference among individuals

Let me demonstrate some insertion techniques

When the patient gets a kind of numb feeling

it is working

Electricity can be used for better effect

Electrical vibration's better than the human hand

I told you not to use alternating current

You may collect your money now

What's up? Thinking of the past again?

Sit down for a chat

Are you all right?

Not too all right

You must've lost everything in gambling

Have you got any work for me?

Be a punching bag, but you can't earn much

You'd make more boxing for the black market

You won't starve and can pay off your debt

You think I'm as good as before?

The audience now wants to see blood

It'll be all right if you can take it

I'm in good shape, the not so young

I can block any quick punches

Uncle

Uncle, are you alright?

You should've warned me first

Look at my hands. Can I be a punching bag?

I got it!

A phoney marriage? It's trouble if exposed

No one would ever know it

Well, since my wife divorced me

I am fed up with women

What about money?

Money?

Sure!

Smile

Another pose

Smile

I've to go in

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye!

Take care!

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye!

What else besides bye-bye?

I'm really excited

It's nice to be married to the USA

Would you miss Hong Kong?

Not much, now that daddy's gone

Don't ever come back midway

I'll get married and settle down there

I'm really excited

Take care!

IwiII!

I've to go in

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye...

Peter!

What took you so long? It worried me

Got the money?

In my bag

Let's talk about it later

Let's go

I thought you wouldn't come

Foreigners will bully me

Nonsense!

Come in!

Money's in this bag?

Yes

I'll put it aside for you

No fake marriage, no green card of us

After marrying that guy

you're on probation with the Immigration for a period of time

before you're cleared

Do I need to live with that stranger?

No, when you're cleared, we can live together

You divorce him in two years

and we can be legally married

I sold my flat, was it a mistake?

It was, if you didn't sell it

Have you changed?

No. Have you?

Of course not

I love you all the same, but people jeer at me

What does that man look like?

Better than those fatties in Chinatown

Today's a glorious day of happiness

So many are gathered here to witness

the holy match of a man and a woman

by the will of God

They'll be blessed by the Heavenly Father

| now ask you

would you take Jade Li to be your wife?

Ido

And you, Jade Li?

Would you take pao Chien to be your husband?

Ido

Anyone objecting to this marriage?

No, everyone's for it

You may kiss the bride

You may kiss the groom

Go ahead

| now pronounce you man and wife

He likes pork, he likes the color red

Anything else?

He prefers tissues to handkerchiefs

She was born in Hongkong in 1961

She's well-developed, but simple-minded

She couldn't walk at 3, couldn't speak at 4

She entered kindergarten at 7, finished primary school at 19

She still passed water in bed at 24

He likes picking the nose

She wears no bras or underpants

She is promiscuous...

This is only your illusion

Stop that or we'll get into trouble

Without money, | just...

You'll get it after the interview

The trouble with me is I may lose

my memory without money

She's cock-eyed and got corns

Well, here's a check for $1.000

She was born into a happy family in 1961

She graduated at the head of her class

Memorize them well, understand?

Anything else?

He likes pork, likes the color red

Prefers Kotex to Kleenex

Kleenex, not Kotex

What?

What did I say?

What do I prefer?

It's taboo for a gambler like me

Kleenex, not Kotex

Sorry, sorry!

Repeat that. What do I prefer?

You have no sweat

Nothing

Someone's coming

Try to act well

Change seats

Mr Chien, Mrs Chien

Yes

Yes

Please come with me

Yes

Keep close

Cling closer

Still closer

Mr Chlen, please wait

Yes

Mrs Chien, please come with me

Yes

Mrs Chien

Mrs Chien

Yes

Not yet used to this salutation?

Yes

Has your husband got constipation?

Yes, but not often

I'm not too sure!

What's the color of your husband's underpants?

Red

Are you sure?

Yes

Does he shore in bed?

I don't know

You sleep with him and you don't know?

| go to bed earlier than he

I admire you. You may go out

Mrs. Chien, please come this way

Yes

Mrs. Chien

Red

Mrs. Chien

Yes

Mr. Chien

Yes

Do you snore in bed?

I don't know

Have you got constipation?

No, I have bowel movement by eating anything

What's the name of your wife?

What a question!

I called her Cutie when she was a child

I called her Dummy when she grew up

Subsequently, I called her Golden Lotus

Now...

I'm calling her...

Jade Li

What's your favorite panty?

Like the lips

Please repeat

Triangular lip panties

Why?

To cover up my triangular lips

I mean the jockey straps

How can two strangers be man and wife?

Why not?

Please sigh here

Someone will visit you within two months

Good luck!

The same to you

Good

Don't worry, the money will be ready

Good

Mr Chien

Everything will be okay in two months

May | ask

Where's the money?

I'll get it from the bank tomorrow

What?

How dare you fool me?

If the money's not ready tomorrow

I'll do that with her tomorrow

Stay with me tonight

The Immigration people usually come at night

Please stay a little longer

Try to raise the money

Yes, right away

Bye-bye!

I'll see you out

Tomorrow morning at the latest

Okay, bye-bye!

Peter, is that fatty reliable?

He only talks big

Be nice to that fatty

He hates women since he was deserted by his wife

Come to see me early tomorrow

I'm afraid he might

If he means it

Our marriage is doomed

Well, I know

I must leave. Bye-bye!

How are you, sir?

Fine!

What cough?

Dry cough

Dry cough is no cough

What?

You're only acting

How long have you known peter?

Since childhood

He's my fiance!

I hate people who smile cheaply

O.K

With money, |'|| serve you to the last

Come on!

Put all underwear together

Collect the other things yourself

Well, don't let your boyfriend get in

This will avoid suspicion from Immigration

Where are you taking my undies?

Follow me!

What a smell

Idon't mind that

Look, it's daily routine

And you must observe the rules

This is mine, don't use it

What shall I use then?

Squat on it

Lift up the stool, don't piss around

Use only 4-section tissue, I use 2-section only

It's not enough

Use your hand then

Use any fingers you like

Aren't you blased against me?

No, I'm only blased against women

Listen, I never close the door when I piss

I keep the door half open when I shit

I keep the door open to get ventilation

You're a nut!

Yes, I am

You pay for water and electricity

You need them too, don't you?

I never take a bath

so I seldom use water

I don't use electricity because I fear Light

Well, I'm tough. What have you to say?

I have nothing to speak

I couldn't care less about what you speak

Anyway, if you ever touch me

|'|| cut it right off

Ok, it's a deal

Some day, I'll let you uproot it

You wanted it yourself

Don't worry

This is my pillow, it's clean

Isn't that too conservative for the bedroom?

So they're coming again! Open the door

Hello

Please come in

Honey, we have visitors

Make yourselves comfortable

Darling, kiss me?

Stop that! They're collectors, not immigratlon

Pao, the loan's due for payment

Can you put it off for one more day?

No more delays

You acted well

Now you know why I need money

You'll get it tomorrow

What's it?

No stranger must see me like this

I've seen your chest

Why is Peter still not back?

Call him!

Okay!

No answer?

He must be in the toilet

How do you know?

He goes to the toilet every morning

Everybody does the same!

You go to the toilet now

It's unhealthy to hold it

Peter, it's me

Returned from the toilet?

A smooth bowel movement? Good!

I'm okay

He's nice to me

I mean it

Stop nagging

I was only bluffing

He's not there. There's no answer

Go and see him

Hurry up!

What does it say?

Sorry, Jade, I bet all my money

hoping I can marry you at an early date

But I lost and ran into debts

The loan shark broke my nose

Now my blood spread to the living room

I suspect bleeding in ribs, concussion

Lung trouble or even ureteritis

As I couldn't take it anymore

I had no choice but to do it

I'll try to raise the money somehow

I'll come back to you some day

Your Ever-Loving Peter

Bad, he's got beaten up

So you're ganged up

No

Maybe he's passing out in the bathroom

He really is there

Peter

Look!

Open up!

Open up!

Wait for me

Listen to my explanation, sir

I'm no less sorry than you

Peter is not that kind of a guy

He had no other choice

He'll try all he could to repay you

He won't desert me

Sir, sir

I won't believe you any more

Sir!

All right!

Sir

Sir

Sir

Listen, sir!

Don't take me for a moron

I'm a moron, not you

When I left Hongkong, I told everyone

I came here to marry Peter

So everyone knew I was an Immigrant

And they thought I'd be happy here

I have self-respect

I'm very nice normally

but I can lose my temper too

I've already debased myself

Admit me, I beg you!

|'|| repay you the money

I won't return to Hongkong to be laughed at

Let me in, or I'll inform Immigration

to get you jailed

You're threatening me?

- No - What are you doing?

- I beg you - Don't bite my toe

I beg you

Don't beg me, let me beg you in return

Repay me. I must remit to my parents

pay off the loan shark

and pay alimony

You mean your ex-wife?

I mean to curse her

She complained about my gambling and poverty

She deserted me on getting her Green Card

Now it's your turn to fool me

Do I owe you anything?

I'm going to cry

I didn't want to get you involved

I don't mind

I'd rather get killed with you here

than return to Hongkong to be scorned

Well, let me be your amah

Peter will pay you when he returns

Well, wish it were true

Fix everything and come in to sleep

I can't sleep after what's happened

Good, good!

Morning, sir

I'll come right away

Come here!

You promised to repay me the money

I won't sell my body

I got a call that the Research Institute

pays more for a couple

Research for a couple?

Manual work, not love-making

Go and change

It may not be a pleasant experience

Don't fuss if you don't feel well

or it will bring disgrace to Chinese

I'm not sure if I can make it

I must deduct it from my debt

Good afternoon

The experiment is aimed at finding out

human reactions in diverse circumstances

Your feelings will be used to determine

the physical and psychological effects

on persons in custody

The longer you can stand the experiment

the higher remuneration you'll get

Would you deduct our pay if we failed to react

Never

Can you make it?

For the sake of money, let's start

Please!

Please!

It's been two hours already

Pretty tough?

| feel great. Only a little itch in the back

It was caused by the bank-notes

So I don't feel anything at all

Good, a great man can usually suffer

A great man can always make it

You can't stand any more

If you can't, just tell him!

I can suffer more than you do

I'm rare in this world

Professor, let her go!

She's weak!

What if anything happens to her?

Look at her, she's dying

She can't stand it anymore

I can hold on

What? Don't persist

It's already been four hours

| only feel some itch

Professor, would you scratch my back?

No? What's going on?

If you don't do it, I won't go on!

Let me out. I know what you're up to

You're only trying to murder us Chinese

You've committed such atrocities

I give up, I won't take your money

You must be in conspiracy with them

You can't possibly feel nothing

Dirty bitch!

I'll throw you out for sure

Pay up

Pay up!

Sir, sir

The weather's bad, I have a headache

Rice with clams and fish head

The sun shines bright on my home

Good boy, |'|| feed you in a minute

Good boy!

Professor, a fly's over my eyelid

Sir, sir!

Normally I don't pay personally

but I'm grateful to you both for

undergoing the experiment

You've helped us to prove that

women have higher tolerance than men

Well, where's your husband?

Convey my thanks to him

Okay

Sir, sir!

The moon is more beautiful in HongKong

Would Peter come to see me?

Don't make trouble here

Be ready for the hell if you can't pay

Don't forget it, Pao

Let's go!

Come on!

I warned you against gambling

Let me take part in Saturday's competition

Be patient

I need money

You're fat and you lack practice

They pay to watch us suffer, you said that

I can stand punches

Can you make it?

No problem

Are you sure?

Sure!

What are you doing?

Don't hog the toilet

Be nice to a girl

She's gentle in personality

She's been cheated and fares worse than I

Assault!

Damn fatty

Trying to take advantage of me?

Only a misunderstanding

You molested me

I didn't!

Immigration, I'm here for house calls

Immigration

Immigration?

Immigration

Please come in!

You're out of breath. Anything wrong?

Can't you use your imagination?

Which of you sleeps in the living room?

We sleep anywhere

People with energy can do anything

Let me ask you some question

Let me ask your photos, correspondence

bills for HK-USA phone calls

You must prove your real relationship

Miss, I...

What an affected air in front of a stranger

Miss, don't blame her

We were competing in stripping

Miss, we're much in love

Miss, believe me!

Miss, I...

That's all for now

Go on with your game

Pill in this and mail it to me

Thank you!

I'll come again for interviews

I didn't mean to take advantage of you

I tried to keep you from getting cold

| tripped and fell down on you

I let the blanket slip to get you off the hook

Good night!

Don't! My panties my drop!

Good night!

Go to bed

Dear Lily, the weather in Los Angeles is nice

Peter is much nicer to me now

He bought a car and will buy a flat soon

We'll move to another place

We're planning to sell our present house

In sum, we really are happy

Why are you trying to do?

I still have to compete today

Why are you sleeping on the bathtub?

You think you're pretty? You're special?

Your teeth? Your rabbit teeth?

Protruded teeth are nothing special

Sorry, I didn't do it purposely

What a huge place for the black market

| fixed everyone up from top to bottom

I'm here to have a look

Any way out if the cops come?

There are exits everywhere

And our boys on the lookout

Someone has bet on you

It'll be okay if you win

I hope so

Welcome to the match

between Big Turtle and Crazy Eyes

Only a knockout is decisive

Let's make it clear no gambling is allowed

Secret gambling is an exception

You have no pants on

If the cops come, disperse through the exit

Applause, please!

On my left is ex-Lightweight Champion

Pao Chien the Big Turtle

On my right is Crazy Eyes

It's not Thai boxing

no kick, no knees

Break when I tell you to

Good luck!

Ready!

Stop

One, two, three, four, five

Are you alright?

Continue

Knock him down in the 2nd round

His eyes are fierce

You're tougher than he

Ready

Continue

One, two, three, four, five, six

Continue

One, two, three, four five

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten

Big Turtle's won

You did brilliantly

Take a rest here

Pao, you did brilliantly

I'll pay you!

Pay it up once and for all

Fight Thai boxing with Big Bear

If you win, our debt's gone!

If you lose, just get yourself killed

How can I ever match him?

You can, if you're desperate

Think it over

Let's go!

Morning, sir!

You didn't return to sleep last night

Your wife called, asking you to

Issue her a check

Not my wife, my ex-wife

Any experiment for me, sir?

Are you competent for it?

Don't bother me!

I beg you!

Be a taxi dancer

I can't!

Take part in mud wrestling then

HELLO

Hello, miss

Can I help you?

Care to take part in mud wrestling?

Did you do that before?

You can make lots of money

$2,000?

More than that

Look at the ring, There's a match every night

- It's you! - Yes

You've never come before

Your household expenses

Alimony, not household expenses

It makes no difference!

Why's there $200 more?

Give it back to me in cashed?

When can this check be cashed?

Next month

You've cooked up a storm for me

This is my boyfriend

Excuse me, I'll go up to get the money

Sit down!

The world's getting open-minded

How embarrassed we would be if

We were in such a situation years ago?

We're embarrassed now all the same

No, we can get along or part freely

Only an irresponsible person feels that way

That's a disgrace to me

I'm always responsible

I bought this house. | used the fridge, the TV

Even your girlfriend...

Never mind, |'|| fix that

After fixing, it can be used again for years

Stop joking. Can a broken thing be used again?

No problem, | used it

You're mean

What?

You don't have to stand up

Let's have a match

What are you doing?

$200

Keep it for medical expenses

Remember, no sex before the fight

Jade suits me best

She'll spend the night with me

What do you mean?

I'm not piased against you

Why are you pushing me

to the toilet?

I won't

Sorry, I hit hard due to overpractice

Practice? You'll get killed anyway

I know, but as my opponent's my ex-wife's boyfriend

|'|| fight till my death

I hated you because I hated my wife

But I don't like her anymore

Tell me how many people put their heads into the stool

and take rinsing water for soda

Why make such sounds in the toilet?

I try to make money from mud wrestling

Are you sure you want to do it?

Nonsense!

Go then. Keep the money for yourself

|'|| cook for you tonight

Sex maniacs, porno representatives

I'm excited to see you!

There's Girls wrestling tonight

Let's welcome the girl wrestlers

Go out!

They're out!

On my left is North American Champion

American Tigress Sally

On my right is Little Rabbit Sheila

Thank you

Money

One, two, three, four, six, seven

Get up, hurry up

Are you alright?

Continue

Break, break!

Come on!

Big Turtle, come on

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Six!

Seven!

Continue

Big Turtle's won!

Pao, bravo!

I've won!

Foryou

No

No alimony either. I'm going to marry him

Make him take a blood test to see if it's okay

It's hot when dropped on me

How did you feel when he hit me?

I didn't want you to die

And when I hit him?

Ididn't want him to be injured

I don't mind heavy injury, but not death

He can't even stand injury

Cousin

Are you coming to our wedding?

Yes, if my girlfriend is free

Excuse us!

In fact, I couldn't beat you

She told me not to win

But now, can't win even if I want to

You're fantastic!

Getting married? 80 what?

Idon't like you, I like Jade!

Jade, I've won!

Look, I've bought back shrimps, pork chop...

What are you doing?

I'm going!

Where to?

Peter won't come back to me. Luck's against me!

The Immigration will come to check again

Just tell them I've returned to Hongkong

You said you couldn't stand being jeered

You'll get scorned for sure

Here's $1,000 to cover part of the loan

I'll pay the balance when I return to Hongkong

I'm not sure if I'd get the balance!

Do I look like a crook?

Do I look one that'll drive people to desperation?

Have you made up your mind?

I'm already used to living with you

You've been trying to throw me out

I'm afraid of darkness

I can't live alone, you know that

If you leave, |'|| cry

Are you sure you want to leave?

Yes

Have you made up your mind?

Well, I'll help you!

-Go! -What are you doing?

Go, go!

Go!

What are you doing?

What do you want?

I must see if it contains my belongings

Would I be so dirty?

Open it to show me!

Okay, go ahead!

Take away anything not mine!

What are you up to?

I'm only trying to stop you from leaving

I'm stalling for time

Any money inside?

Give me

What are you doing?

Money!

What are you doing?

Trying to murder? I won't forgive you as a ghost

What are you up to?

This bag is mine

You said it's mine if it contains nothing of your own!

Let's split it

Okay!

But its origin's unknown

Crouch

Only smugglers carry so much money

Could it be fake money?

Possible!

Show it to a bank

Okay

Don%,don%

Money

Don't let anyone see it

Money!

How are we going to put it?

Don't you trust me?

No, you might slip out at night

You really are thoughtful

You've changed

I've tasted the agonies of poverty

And I've been cheated

Money doesn't mean anything

Right, but it means much

Would you knock me out?

Would you murder me?

I won't!

You rape, then kill?

|'|| rape you, but not kill you!

Why?

Killing is a crime

What about rape?

You're my wife and this is my home!

Don't provoke me, or...

Okay!

When you get your share, peter and you nothing

Do you mind if I watch you?

No

What are you doing?

Untie it!

Why?

I must go to the toilet

Don't go!

I can't hold it

Let's go together

Go!

What kind of water is this?

Sorry

A bad habit for a man

Let's be fair tonight

Let's not guard against each other

I'm only worrying about the money

Keep cool when you enter the bank

Over there!

The next!

Put down your eyeglasses

Put it direct into your deposit box

No

A suspect in black glasses is gazing at us

Don't scare me

I've a share in the money

Another man in black glasses is watching us!

Don't look at him

Look over there

Look over there

Another man in black glasses

So many in black glasses?

Don't be nervous

Keep calm!

Put on your glasses

Next!

Miss, I want to apply for a deposit box

Okay!

I want to have a word with you

What are you doing?

Come on!

Why are you bringing me here?

It's dangerous to go home now

Its owner may come to search our house

It's no use to stay here either

I know

But we must make something straight

What's it?

Let's not split the money

If we do, we'll lose each other

I can do without you, but you can't do without me

It hurts me!

It sounds embarrassing

You'll be alone here anyway

Those Americans may bully you

Let me protect you

Thank you

Maybe Peter needs the money

That bastard cheated you and...

What?

Took away your money

I'm different. I respect you!

What do you think of me?

You're sincere, but...

What? I can change

I'll give up gambling

smoking and drinking

I can make up to look better for you

I must talk to Peter first

I've known him for too long

Well, I give you my word

You may split your share with Peter if he returns!

Let's sleep together tonight

I was only joking, but I'm serious

Let me think it over

Let's go home. It's dangerous here

Let's go!

Don't get out. There are people in the house

I must check first

If there's no one, I'll go to bed

When I call you, come to the bed

Be alert

What a mess. Traces of being searched

How come?

What's it?

Stop that, please!

Anyway, tell me why

or I may get killed without knowing why

Why are you hitting me?

Where's the bag of money?

Money?

Why didn't you say so?

It's ready, It's benind the sofa

Put your hand off me

Jade, get out of here!

Let me go, let me go!

Come back and help me!

Don't go away

Help, help!

Let me go!

Let me go!

Don't let him get away

Come, come and help me

You promised to be nice to me

Now you're leaving me behind

and taking away my money

Don't worry, I won't go away

Tell them to wait for my call

Go in and have some tea, first

Don't follow him. Come back!

I want coffee with sugar but without milk

We have no sugar, sir

Did you rape her?

Nonsense, return me the money

or I'll set fire to your house

Go ahead, it's not our own house

Did you rape her?

Maniac!

I'm conservative. Did you do it?

No

Swear!

Don't stall for time or I'll kill her

Don't swear

|'|| return you the money you return me my wife

She's not clean. Don't touch her

Where shall we meet?

West Edmonton Mall

What did he say, sir?

Your husband said you're not clean

Uncle, what should I do?

I don't know

Let's set up something. What do you say?

Okay

What do you two say?

You decide, and we'll follow

We know nothing but fight

Don't worry, |'|| fix them

I know you're in trouble. Need any help?

What are you doing?

Go away

Don't move!

Follow him

Go to hell

Return me the money

Give it to me

No

- Hands off - Return it to me

- Return it to me - Return it to me

No

Jade

Are you alright?

Return them the bag

If we return now

What a loss of face

What are you going to do then?

I'd rather die

Give me the money

What now?

I won't return it

Give me the bag

Are you alright?

Yes, let's go

Follow him

Hurry up!

|'|| break the glass

Go down, they're coming!

I'll run if you don't!

Go down quick

Go down. I'll meet you down there

Go down

Stop

There's no exit

Shoot, I won't go down

Shoofl

Iwon't go down, It's so high!

Shoofl

Money...

The money's gone!

With me here, it's safe

Sorry, I have no money to repay you

Never mind. Stay here and take your time

Thank you!

If peter comes, tell me I've left

Okay!

I got a call there's experiment work for us

We can have a treat tonight

- Good... - Eat...

Last time we discussed that will power

may change in bad circumstances

It means the abnormai behaviour pnenomenon

Now let's see our guinea plgs

Ready

Ladies and gentlemen

What's the colour?

Black

And this?

White

What colour is this?

Red

What do you mean by that?

What colour is this?

Time's up!

And this?

Sexy

And this?

Make fun

Repeat

Make fun

Repeat

Make fun

Crazy

Make fun

Crazy, make fun

Alright

Crazy, make fun

Good enough

Now we've reached a conclusion

When under pressure, human benavlour

is beyond the control of speech

Congratulations! You've created your own language!

Where shall we dine tonight?

Make fun

Where?

Crazy

What did you say?

Make fun, crazy

What did you say?

Make fun

What kind if an experiment was that?

Make fun