Original subtitles

Pickles: NO, NO, NO!

NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE THIS, TOO!

YOU GREEDY, FAT ASSHOLE!

I FUCKING QUIT!

[ Echoing ] QUIT...

Toki: ISN'T THERE ANY WAYS WE CANS WORKS DIS OUT?

Skwisgaar: YOU KNOW, IT AMS A SHAMES.

I WAS REALLY GETTING USED TO DIS GIGS.

Murderface: THAT'S IF THEY GO THROUGH WITH IT.

Skwisgaar: YEAH, BUT IF THE GUYS THAT RUNS THE BANDS CAN'TS

GETS ALONGS, THEN THERE AMS NO MORE BANDS.

MASTERS, THEY ARE READY FOR YOU.

Charles: I CAN'T WATCH THIS.

YET WE CANNOT INTERVENE.

THINGS WILL UNFOLD AS THEY MUST.

Nathan: UH, AFTER A LONG, UH, DELIBERATION, UH, THING, WE'VE

DECIDED THAT DETHKLOK CAN NO LONGER, UH, BE TOGETHER ANYMORE.

AND WITHOUT THE FIVE OF US ON BOARD, THERE IS NO DETHKLOK.

OUR FINAL SHOW WILL BE IN REYKJAVIK, ICELAND.

[ CROWD MOANS AND GROANS ] ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

THE WORLD IS REELING FROM THE NEWS THAT DETHKLOK IS, IN FACT,

BREAKING UP.

FANS HAVE RESPONDED WITH CATASTROPHIC DESTRUCTION AROUND

THE WORLD.

DID IT ALL END BECAUSE OF A GIRL?

I LEFT FOR MY OWN REASONS.

THE JOB WAS NEAR COMPLETION, AND THE CIRCUMSTANCES STOPPED BEING

PROFESSIONAL.

I WISH DETHKLOK EVERY SUCCESS IN THE FUTURE.

THANK YOU.

BUT EVEN MORE CONFUSING IS THIS -- THE BAND MEMBERS ARE

ALREADY MOVING ON.

WILLIAM MURDERFACE HAS ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY TO RUN

AS CONGRESSMAN OF NEW JERSEY.

SHORTLY AFTER, TOKI ANNOUNCED HIS INTENTION TO BE MURDERFACE'S

INTERN.

NATHAN EXPLOSION HAS PAIRED WITH PRODUCER SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

AND ENGINEER DICK KNUBBLER TO MAKE THE NEXT BIG THING, THAT'S

SUPPOSED TO SOUND BIGGER AND BETTER, AND LEAVE DETHKLOK IN

THE DUST!

PICKLES THE DRUMMER HAS DECIDED TO RETIRE FROM MUSIC AND

START HIS OWN WINERY AND VOWS TO MAKE THE MOST ALCOHOLIC WINE

EVER.

Pickles: THESE GRAPES AREN'T GROWING FAST ENOUGH!

LOOK, YOU WANTED PINOT GRAPES.

PINOT GRAPES, UH, THEY TAKE TIME TO CULTIVATE.

Pickles: LOOK, IT'S SUPPOSED TO SHIP SOON.

I HAVE MAJOR FINANCIAL BACKERS AND A PREMIERE WINE TASTING ON

THE BOOKS!

GRAPES AIN'T GONNA GROW THAT FAST.

Pickles: MAKE THEM GROW THAT FAST!

I DON'T HAVE A JOB ANYMORE GOD DAMN IT!

[ GLASS BREAKS ] Toki: OH, THANKS, BUDDYS.

LET'S DEFINITELY GETS SOME DINNER SOONS.

YEAH, MAN, I'D LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, JUST REMEMBER I'VE BEEN THROUGH ALL THIS BAND

BREAKUP SHIT BEFORE.

YEAH, I'M HERE IF YOU NEED ME, MAN.

Toki: YEAH, THANKS.

I REALLY APPRECIATES THAT.

Murderface: AH, AM I PAYING YOU TO TALK ON THE PHONE WITH

YOUR PAL?

Toki: SORRYS -- MY NEW BOSS IS BEINGS A TOTAL DICKHEADS!

OKAY, BYE.

Okay, buddy. Later.

[ Click ] I'LL SEE YOU SOON ENOUGH.

Toki: YEAH, I REALLYS DON'TS APPRECIATES YOU RAISING YOUR

VOICE TO ME WHILE I'MS ONS DE PHONE.

Murderface: I'M PAYING YOU!

Toki: IT WAS A PERSONAL CALL.

Murderface: YOU'VE GOT WORK TO DO!

Toki: AH, DATS WHY I'MS HERE, BUDDY!

Murderface: ALL RIGHT. GOOD.

GREAT.

NOW, WE'RE SENDING OUT AN E-MAIL CAMPAIGN THAT'S REALLY GONNA --

Toki: OH, WOWIE! IS DATS A GARGOYLE?

Murderface: [ GROANS ] IT'S A PAPERWEIGHT.

Toki: [ As Gargoyle ] I AMS THE GARGOYLES, SITTINS ON THE

PAPERS, MAKINGS SURES THEY DON'TS BLOWS AWAY.

Murderface: GAH! TOKI!

THE GARGOYLE WILL STILL BE THERE, AND YOU CAN LOOK AT IT

AFTER I TELL YOU THIS IMPORTANT NEWS.

USE THE PHOTOS FROM THE FILE MARKED "CONGRESSMAN MURDERFACE."

DO N USE THE PHOTOS FROM MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

Toki: "DO NOTS USE THE PHOTOS FROMS MY PERSONAL ACCOUNTS."

Murderface: [ GROANS ] AND ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT --

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] Toki: WHAT'S DATS MUSIC?

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ] Nathan: STOP! STOP! LISTEN.

[ MUSIC STOPS ] IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO

SOUND LIKE DETHKLOK, ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S -- YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

Dick: YEAH, GUYS, WE'RE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE

DETHKLOK SOUND.

WE'RE MOVING ON. GET IT?

NATHAN, WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THAT?

Nathan: UH...YEAH, OKAY, YEAH.

Skwisgaar: EXPLAINS THE SOUNDS A LITTLE BIT TO THEM.

Nathan: YEAH, IT'S GOTTA BE, UM...

WHAT WERE WE TALKING, HOW IT'S THE SOUND?

Skwisgaar: THAT'S MORES HAS TO BE EXTRA SOUNDS.

Nathan: YEAH, EXTRA -- IT HAS TO BE MORE THAN --

Skwisgaar: IT HAS TO BE, YOU KNOW, MORE THANS THE OTHER ONES.

Nathan: YEAH, BUT -- YES, BUT WITH LESS, YOU KNOW?

Skwisgaar: YEAH.

Nathan: YEAH.

Skwisgaar: DATS THE IDEA, SO DO DATS.

Nathan: THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO EXPLAIN IT THAN WHAT --

I HOPE YOU WERE LISTENING, 'CAUSE THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN

AGAIN. Skwisgaar: YEAH.

Nathan: ALL RIGHT, READY?

ONE, TWO -- [ MUSIC RESUMES ]

NO. NOPE. NO.

[ MUSIC CONTINUES, SAME ] YES! YES. YE--

[ MUSIC CONTINUES, SAME ] NO. NO.

OKAY, THANK YOU. YOU'RE DONE.

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG HERE?

Dick: BETWEEN YOU AND ME, I DON'T THINK THEY GET IT.

YOU KNOW, YOU MAY NEED SOME STUDIO RINGERS.

Nathan: SESSION GUYS?

Dick: YEAH, HOT SHOTS, SESSION GUYS.

THEY'LL JUST -- THEY'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT, AND ALL I GOT TO

DO IS GIVE 'EM A RINGY DING.

YOU SAY "GO," AND I WILL.

Nathan: I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO -- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Skwisgaar: I, UH, WAS NOT LISTENINGS TO WHAT YOU -- HE

JUST SAID.

Nathan: ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT. Skwisgaar: YEAH.

Dick: LET'S SEND THESE JERKS HOME.

Skwisgaar: GO HOMES, DING DONGS!

Murderface: "THAT IS WHY, MY NOBLE CONSTITUENTS, I AM MOST"

"ASSUREDLY LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING YOUR," UH...

FUCKING WHAT'S IT CALLED?

Toki: CONGRESSMAN.

Murderface: "CONGRESSMAN." THANK YOU.

SIGNED, MR. WILLIAM MURDERFACE."

SEND IT OFF!

Toki: YOU WANTS TO READS IT AND SPELL-CHECKS IT?

Murderface: NAH, I GOTTA TAKE A DUMP.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE!

Nathan: ♪ SPLAYED ORGANS CHURN IN MY THROAT ♪

♪ LACERATED INNARDS BLIND MY SOUL ♪

Dick: OKAY, YEAH, NOW, NOW, NOW, DO THE -- DO THE THING.

DO THE THING WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.

GO!

Nathan: ♪ SCIT SCAT SCITTLEY DO ♪

♪ SCIT SCAT SCITTLEY DING DONG A-DO ♪

♪ SCITTLEY SCITSCIT SCAT AND SCATALLY SCOO ♪

♪ I'M TALKIN' SCIT SCAT SCITTLEY SCOOO ♪

♪ FUDDLY UT-N'DUTTIN SCITTLEY SCIT SCAT SCOODLY SCOO ♪

♪ A FIDDLEY SCIT SCAT SCONE SCOT SCAT SCONE SCIT ♪

♪ SCAT SCAT SCOO SCIT SCAT SCIT SCAT SCAT SCOO AND A SCIT

SCAT FUDDLY UT-N'DUTTIN DO! ♪ Dick: I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK -- I THINK THIS IS HIP.

THIS IS GOLD. THIS IS PLATINUM.

THAT'S WHAT PLATINUM SOUNDS LIKE.

SKWISGAAR?

YOU KNOW?

Skwisgaar: OHHH.

IT AMS, UH...DIFFERENTS.

Dick: SEE? SKWISGAAR LIKES IT.

SKWISGAAR LIKES IT.

Skwisgaar: I, UH, DIDN'TS SAY DAT.

Dick: NATHAN, I CAN'T TELL WHAT YOU'RE THINKING SOMETIMES.

I NEED WORDS.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME HERE.

THEY'RE CALLING IT "JACK OFF GATE."

HUNDREDS OF SELF-TAKEN MASTURBATION PHOTOS OF

CONGRESSMAN WANNABE AND FUTURE FORMER DETHKLOK BASSIST

WILLIAM MURDERFACE HAVE SURFACED OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS.

THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY AND ALL HIS CONSTITUENTS HAVE

DENOUNCED THE ACT AND NO LONGER SUPPORT HIS CANDIDACY.

Murderface: OH, MY GOD.

Pickles: OH, MY GOD.

THESE GRAPES ARE GIGANTIC.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT, BUT YOU DID IT!

THAT'S AMAZING!

WELL, WE MADE THE GRAPES GROW FASTER USING, UM, UNLICENSED

METABOLIC HORMONES.

Pickles: GREAT JOB!

IT LOOKS GREAT! THANKS A LOT, BUDDY!

YOU SAVED MY ASS!

HEY, HEY.

NOBODY'S TASTED THAT WINE.

Pickles: THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING PART OF A WONDERFUL AND,

NO DOUBT, PROFITABLE WINE VENTURE.

I GIVE YOU "WHORE'S BLOOD WINE."

CHEERS!

All: CHEERS!

Skwisgaar: WE HAS ALL FAILEDS.

HORRIBLYS.

WE GOTS DIS ONE SHOW LEFT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD CONSIDERS PATCHKING IT UPS.

Pickles: I WOULDN'T DO IT UNLESS NATHAN APOLOGIZED TO ME,

AND HE IS INCAPABLE OF DOING THAT.

Skwisgaar: YOU NEVER KNOW, PICKLES.

THE LAST SHOW, HE COULD TURNS AROUND, LOOKS AT YOU, AND SAYS A

SIMPLES "I AM SORRYS."

Orlaag: MASTER, THE BAND FRAYS BEFORE OUR EYES.

THIS IS MOST UNEXPECTED.

THE PROPHECY IS MUDDLED AT THIS POINT.

Crozier: THEY ARE WEAK AND BROKEN.

THEY ARE VULNERABLE.

NOW IS THE TIME TO CRUSH THEM.

Selatcia: NO.

WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YET, GENERAL, IS THAT WE NEED THEM

ALIVE.

IT IS TIME FOR ME TO REVEAL MYSELF AND SHOW THEM MY TRUE

POWER.

I REMEMBER ALL THOSE YEARS AGO.

I REMEMBER GETTING A SCRATCHY OLD DEMO FROM A BUNCH OF YOUNG

PUNKS.

I REMEMBER SEEING THE NAME "DETHKLOK" SCRIBBLED ON THE DEMO

IN BLACK MARKER.

I REMEMBER TRACKING YOU DOWN, AND I REMEMBER SIGNING YOU.

I REMEMBER KNOWING DEEP IN MY HEART THAT THIS WOULD BE THE

BEST WORK I'D DO IN MY LIFE, AND I WAS RIGHT.

IT W IMPORTANT.

BUT HERE WE ARE.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS, AND I DON'T CARE.

YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO END IT.

BUT IF YOU WANT TO THROW EVERYTHING AWAY, I CAN'T DO

ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A BUNCH OF SELFISH SONS OF BITCHES, ALL I

CAN DO IS WATCH YOU THROW IT ALL AWAY.

BUT...

I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY LIFE BETTER WITH YOUR

MUSIC.

GOODBYE.

[ HEAVY-METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] Nathan: WELCOME, PEOPLE OF

THE EARTH...

TO DETHKLOK'S FINAL SHOW.

[ CROWD MOANS AND GROANS ] [ RUMBLING ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] [ CROWD SCREAMS ]

Charles: SELATCIA. OH, GOD, IT'S BEGINNING.

YOU'VE ALL BEEN TRAINED FOR THIS.

COMMENCE EVACUATION SEQUENCE NOW!

PROTECT THE BAND! GO!

WHAT IS THAT?

Charles: HE'S NOT FROM HERE.

Selatcia: I'VE BEEN WANTING TO INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU FOR

SOME TIME.

Murderface: OH, MY FUCKING GOD!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

GET OUT OF HERE NOW!

GET TO A SAFE PLACE!

Selatcia: GOODBYE.

Charles: LET'S MOVE THIS THING.

GO!

WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE OCEAN.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] [ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]

ENGAGE ALPHA MONSTRO.

BUT, MASTER, IT'S TOO FAR.

Charles: DO IT.

LET'S GO DOWN!

Selatcia: WE WILL CONGREGATE.

IT IS INEVITABLE.

IT IS INEVITABLE.

Nathan: WHO WAS THAT MAN?

Charles: HIS NAME IS MR. SELATCIA, BUT WE CALL HIM

THE "HALF MAN."

IT'S TIME I TELL YOU EVERYTHING.

IT'S TIME THAT YOU LEARN ABOUT THE CHURCH OF THE BLACK KLOK.