Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

All right, Will, just tell me when you feel a little pain.

Oh yeah, right there.

♪ There's a crack in the altar

♪ Pale light through the break

♪ Like crooked teeth

♪ And I couldn't fault her

♪ Knowing what was at stake

♪ Nothing worth underneath

♪ And the hills move like lungs ♪

♪ The river speaks in tongues

♪ And I am not alone

Hold on one sec.

What are you doing here?

I came to drive y'all to school.

Will, he takes the bus.

Baby, come on.

Look, we can drop him off and then I'll drive you.

You fucked up?

No.

I just wanna drive you.

Please?

I'd tell you to go hell if I didn't want that ride.

Morgan! Daddy's here.

Is that what they're teaching you in school

right now?

Thanksgiving?

- That wasn't-- - In the middle of summer?

- It ain't summer yet. - I'm going to

teach you something for real, okay?

Come on.

Get on my lap.

Oh, okay.

I'm gonna teach you how to drive.

- Drive to school. - All right.

Put your hand on it.

Yeah. There you go.

All right, you're gonna beep, okay?

When they come.

Beep. Beep to your friend.

You want daddy to pick you up later, Morgan?

- Come on. - All right.

I can't, I gotta paint a house later.

Uh, you know what I got? I got a lollipop.

- Watch this. You ready? - Candy for breakfast?

You ready? Look. It'll disappear.

I got it and then it disappears.

Where did it go?

- It's behind your hand. - I got it.

Then it disappears.

He's got it, he knows.

All right, you can have it, okay?

I'll pick you up, okay, baby?

See you later, little man.

Thank you for getting your backpack, honey.

What if I had a plan and the money to back it up

And what's that?

Move us to Myrtle Beach.

- South Carolina? - Yeah.

Baby, I got 10 grand saved up, okay?

Pretty soon I'll have 20

and then we have enough to get started.

I could finally open my T-shirt shop, you know?

Yeah, that sounds nice.

You want me to pick you up later?

I thought you had to paint a house.

Stop lying to him, Will.

He looks at me right in the eyes, you know?

Yeah, and I've been sober 11 months 'cause of those eyes.

Look, I do have to make a little money later.

I'll just walk.

Maybe if you let me move back in,

I would know your schedule.

It's the same every day.

Listen, you get sober

and we want you to move back in, all right?

Maybe we'll even go to the beach.

Dad?

Fuck.

Fuck is he, man?

Jesus Christ, man!

Dad!

Wake up!

Dad, wake up!

Fuck you doing here?

I can drive.

Get over there.

Get over!

I ran into Busty at the number nine.

I got a shift back at work if you want it.

You just tell if it gets too good.

Man, I don't even know.

Look, I ain't a fucking coal miner, Dad.

You took the classes, all right?

- It's good work-- - It's shit work!

Wait here. I'll think about it.

Morning, Boots.

Will, what the hell are you doing here?

John.

I'm just, you know, getting a coffee for my dad.

Okay, so you're around. Where's he at?

Just waiting for me in the van.

You know, I'm packing up my parents' place right now.

I found this photo of us

right after we won that Central football game.

Fuck, yeah.

You knocked that kid clean out?

Yeah, man.

Shit. Man, that was a long time ago.

Indeed.

Mm-hmm.

- Good times, though. - Mm-hmm.

All right, you know, I gotta give this to my dad.

Okay, yeah. You say hi for me now.

I will.

- Bye then. - Take care now.

All right.

All right.

Fuck, man.

You all right?

What's your hold--?

- Nothing. - Take me back to the park.

Hell no.

Help me or just get out.

Man, Mom already hates me 'cause of this shit.

It hurts so bad.

Thanks.

Where were you?

Just getting coffee.

Oh yeah, I got you some groceries.

Oh, and you got a letter from the mine.

Disability excuse of the month.

- I know. - Hey, I can help--

No, I can manage.

Thanks, Will.

Sure.

Up your TP and sales by 20%,

you get the bonus.

Have a seat, sir.

We'll get this taken care of for you.

♪ I'm never takin' em off

♪ It is intoxicating

] So, Will, how's Sara been doing lately?

She's good. She's really good.

Hey, you remember that one time

picking her up outta the park when she had nodded out?

Thought she was gonna drown in her own vomit?

- Yeah. - Glad she made it out

Shouldn't y'all be in school?

You're funny. What you got?

Oxys. 80s.

I want three of them.

She always like this?

Yeah, pretty much.

Where y'all from?

Uh, Butterfly.

Nothing going on out that way?

Uh-- Hell no.

But I like your hat. What's your name?

What's your name?

Lisa Newton.

Well, Lisa Newton, that's $240 for three.

Kinda high.

It's all there.

Careful, Lisa Newton.

You too, old man.

♪ I saw a story in the stars last night ♪

♪ The sign in the flickering light ♪

♪ You were leaving and I was believing a lie ♪

♪ Til every time

♪ That's the way that it always goes ♪

♪ Line by line, the tall tales grow ♪

♪ Like Homer and The Odyssey

♪ I'm making fantasy foals

♪ I'm letting my bad imagination ♪

♪ Get the best of me

♪ Lost in a daydream

♪ I'm letting my bad imagination ♪

♪ Get the best of me

♪ Lost in a daydream

Hey!

Sorry I'm late! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

You waiting long?

No? You sure?

All right.

Hey, are we walking or are we racing?

Racing.

Yeah?

All right.

On your mark.

Get set.

Go!

You're winning!

You're winning! You're winning!

Like, it was just a picture of me

and like, I really looked like a ghost

'cause like, I was really blurry.

Whoa! Let me see your best ghost face.

- Rawr! - Okay, that is not a good--

What is a ghost face then, tell me?

Oh my goodness, that is a ghost face!

- That's really scary. - Or this.

Who's at the door?

Hold on one second.

What are you doing here?

I got him something. I got--

- Okay, make it quick. - Is he under there?

Yeah, he's under here. Just make it quick.

I'm just gonna show it to him, that's all.

All right, fine. Quick.

Morgan, honey, Daddy's here.

- Hey, little man. - Got something

to show you.

Look what I got you. Look, it's a bow and arrow, okay?

My dad taught me how to use a bow when I was a kid

and now I'm gonna teach you, all right?

So you come through here, okay?

You put the arrow right through there.

You line it up with that.

You pull it back.

Pew, you let it go.

You think you can do it?

Into the couch?

- All right, be careful. - One, two, three.

Okay. Oh good job!

Oh, see how far that went?

That was a good one!

I need you to look after this thing.

You need to keep it forever, all right?

What's this?

Come on.

This is nice.

Cozy.

Is he asleep?

Yeah.

I got an idea.

What's that?

I think we should take Morgan

to King's Island for his birthday.

The theme park?

Yeah.

There's one in Cincinnati. We could go.

Oh, that's like two states away.

It's four hours away, come on.

No way.

We can stay in a motel. Why not?

Too far.

Leave Hazard forever with me,

but not to Kings Island overnight.

Hey.

You really got $10,000 saved?

Yeah.

And my dad's got me a day of work

reclaiming up at the mine too, so.

Mm.

Good for you.

Proud of you, Sara Bell.

Why?

Staying clean and all.

Mining's a good job for you.

Man, mining ain't for me.

Hey, you know what Morgan wants?

Yeah?

He wants Kings Island.

No.

You know that old train set of your daddy's,

you told him about it?

My mom's.

You talk to her lately?

Can't let my dad buy from nasty crank junkies.

Sorry, baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Go and see your mom.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Fuck, man.

Dad, you fucking pissed yourself.

I'll get you to change your pants, okay?

It's all right now.

It's okay. Come on.

Okay.

Now let's roll over a little bit, man.

Just cook me up a pill.

Please.

Please, it's the only thing that helps.

Please. Please.

Please.

All right. Okay.

Don't worry man, I gotcha.

Hey.

Aw, man.

We got one female deceased.

Looks like she's been gone a couple hours already.

- You know her? - Yeah.

That's Bob Newton's granddaughter.

You put any more thought into that thing we talked about?

We just don't have the manpower or the money right now.

I mean, come on. We ain't gonna do nothing?

We're gonna sit around and let kids die?

You stick somebody on third shift,

we give you an extra guy.

Hey, that looks like my granddaughter's car!

Get him outta here. Come on.

Come on, Bob. It's all right.

It's all right, Bob. It's all right.

I already talked to the DEA guy down in Charleston,

said that Hazard's problem

doesn't have the type of gang activity

or violent crime required

to send in the street level enforcement team.

See, I wonder when they're expecting

gangs to break out down here.

Oh, I spoke to the state too.

Yeah, no, they're more underfunded than we are.

I don't know what to do.

Yeah, I'll hold.

Boots, run his back for me.

Boots, one more?

Thank you.

Let me get 25, 50 milligrams.

If this fucking thing is even recording?

The blue indicator light.

Hey, man, lemme get 25, 50 milligrams.

25, 50 milligrams. Lemme get 25.

Hey, man, how you doing?

I haven't seen you in a while.

Lemme get 25, 50 milligrams.

Lemme get 25, 50 milligrams at 40 bucks a pop.

I'll have to cover the side tomorrow.

Camera B

If the suspect flees...

Hey, Mom.

You promised not to come here unannounced.

You are not permitted in my home.

Mom, come on.

Come on.

What do you want, William?

Just-- Just let me in, okay, Mom?

So I can catch you giving drugs

to your father again?

No.

One of these days, they're gonna find you

and your father dead someplace.

I'm clean, Ma.

What did I do to deserve this?

I just wanted to get Dad's train for Morgan. That's all.

Just wanted to get Dad's train.

William, promise me after you get it

that you won't come back.

Hey, Rusty.

Officer John, how are you?

All right. How you?

Not too bad, man.

What can we do for you?

Well, I'm just looking around.

Nothing too specific.

Matter of fact, y'all got any video cameras?

We don't have any actual video cameras,

but we have a couple trail cameras that may work.

I guess it just kind of depends on what you need it for.

No, that actually might be perfect for me.

Let's see here.

You mind if I open it?

Oh, yeah. Have at it.

What are the specs on this thing?

They each have their own long range antenna, night vision.

- Night vision? - Night vision.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah, and you know, you just kind of use

the Velcro in there to strap it to a tree or something.

How many of these you got?

Uh, those are the last two on the shelf.

Okay, yeah. I'm gonna take both of those.

Okay.

Is that the best price you can do on the hunting stand?

It is on sale right now, so probably, yeah.

I might be able to do a little better on it.

Cool, I'll take all three.

All right.

and Elias Alexande ♪ Ah

♪ Go out some dark holler

♪ Gave you some booze

♪ If

♪ The revenue don't get me

♪ Oh, money will I lose

♪ Come

♪ All you moon shiners

♪ Stand all in a row

♪ You look so

Why are you selling that place anyway?

I mean, I don't like being over there alone,

it's just... probably get someplace smaller.

You ever think about leaving?

Leaving Hazard?

Yeah.

I mean, there is a time, sure, when I thought I would,

but... [sighs] I don't know. I don't think

it's in the cards for me now.

Well, I don't want any of this shit, so burn it.

What is wrong with you?

They weren't the same with me as they were with you.

You know that.

Whose fault was that though?

It's not my fucking fault.

Oh yeah, you just gonna keep blaming everybody else, huh?

I'm not blaming anybody.

They didn't invite me over.

Not my son, not their grandson.

Never fucking invited me or my kid.

Look, I'm not trying to defend Mom and Dad.

Yes you is.

They're still our parents, all right?

This is our responsibility now.

It ain't my responsibility.

It's your house.

You still gonna get half the money from the sale.

I don't want their fucking money.

So what then, you just want me to leave now?

Shut up.

They were so slow in there.

My prescription is for 50 pills.

That's $40 a piece, okay.

It's $2,000.

I'll give you the money tomorrow. Ms. Fitzer.

If anybody were to find out about this...

No one will find out.

I promise.

Thank you, William.

All right.

Better get outta here.

What are you doing here?

You smoking?

It's been a long day.

Where's our boy at?

He's with your mama, up in Cumberland fishing.

I could have taken him.

I'm sure, with your busy schedule.

I brought his train. It's in the truck.

Why don't you stop by later, give it to him?

You free till then?

Yeah.

What is it?

I don't feel good.

Come take a ride with me.

Where are we going?

Oh, fucking anywhere.

Look.

Come on, get some fresh air.

Will be fun. Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Well, don't "come on" me.

Oh, you're gonna have to carry me.

I'm gonna have to carry you?

See?

Easy, easy.

You put on some weight.

It all just...

It just all came back to that, I don't get it.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

You'll feel better tomorrow.

Want me to show you where I've been living?

No.

Is it nice?

It's beautiful.

It's probably the most beautiful place I've ever stayed at.

It's got a mattress on the floor.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Come on.

I was doing good, you know?

I'm so flat.

No, no, no, no, no!

Sara!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck.

Come on!

Sara!

Hey, keep breathing, please!

Fuck! Come on!

Okay, we're here!

Baby, baby, baby! Come on!

Help, somebody!

Help me! Somebody help me!

Help me!

Help!

Somebody help me! Help!

Next.

Name?

What's your name?

I was getting run down by the police

and I was in the van and I was going as fast as I could

and I said, "Look, there's this one guy--"

Anybody seen my granddaughter Lisa Newton?

Somebody killed her.

You know, gave her some drugs.

Hey! I got some money.

Dr. Forest, dial 118, please.

Dr. Forest, please dial 118.

How much trouble am I in?

Well, I guess that sort of depends

what you're talking about.

They gonna take him.

You can get him back.

You gotta go to court first.

When?

Most courts are so backed up with drug cases,

be eight months, could be a year.

Long time.

It's not as long as going to jail.

It wasn't supposed to happen.

I can get you in the free clinic up in Corbin,

all right?

It's gonna be to your benefit.

If it's good for you, it'll be good for my nephew, so...

Just let me know, all right?

I'll help you any way I can.

Hey, baby.

Come on.

Come on.

Let's go, let's go.

Hey, Will.

Can I talk to you for a second?

I'll meet you in the car.

] Come on.

Where did she get the pills?

Ah-- I don't know.

That's the mother of your son you're talking about.

You gonna let her get in more trouble than she's already in?

Hey, you know anything about Lisa Newton?

Who's that?

That's the girl we found dead in her car

by the cold tip of the other night.

No.

So you really fucked up this time, huh?

Wanna eat now or later?

Stomach feels like it's got a hole in it.

I don't wanna be here anymore.

Where the fuck do you wanna be then?

Man, since when did you get so emotional?

It's all over for me.

Don't fucking say that, man.

Just gimme me something.

Eat your food.

Just gimme-- I know you got something.

- Shut up. - Just gimme something.

Shut up and eat your fucking food.

- I know you got something. - Eat your fucking food.

- Just gimme something. - Eat your fucking food.

Come on, William, would you just gimme--

I'm fucking done getting you high!

I'm done!

- Yeah. - Get the fuck outta my home.

Get the fuck outta my home. Get the fuck outta here.

- Fuck outta my home! - I'm fucking gone.

Go! Fuck!

Fine. Fine, I'm fucking gone.

Fuck.

Fuck. Come back, William.

William!

Thanks for agreeing to meet me.

But what the fuck are we doing here?

Why not?

This field ain't been used in years.

Not since they consolidated the schools anyway.

I'm taking Sara to rehab in Corbin later.

Thanks for that.

You know what this plant's called?

Kudzu.

It's an invasive species, it just swallows up everything.

Look, I just-- I want to know what's gonna happen to Sara.

Can you believe we used to play ball here?

She's in trouble, man. She OD'ed with a kid at home.

Look, I gave her the drugs, okay?

Just arrest me, man.

Oh, well, you can speak on her behalf to the judge

when she has her day in court.

As will I.

John, there's gotta be something you can do.

I can't just make this go away.

All right, then tell me what to do.

I don't know.

You know, my whole life people been like,

"Hey, John, can I have some help with this?

Hey, John, you mind helping me out?"

How come nobody ever says,

"Hey, John, what can I help you with?

Hey John, are you doing all right."

Man, what the fuck you talking about, man?

Okay, man! Fuck!

Shit, man.

We're fucked, man.

This whole town is dying.

Pretty soon, if we ain't careful,

we're gonna end up just like these bleachers.

We're gonna be obsolete. We're gonna disappear.

You really want to help Sara?

You really want to help me?

Help yourself? Help this town?

Do you?

Fuck, man, I'm here because I want to help Sara, okay?

Of course I want to help Sara.

All right.

Then there ain't no going back on it.

Come on.

You can't tell nobody about this.

Trust me, I won't tell anybody.

Good. I need corroboration.

What the fuck's that?

I need a witness, you, to corroborate, confirm,

my investigation, all right?

Now I'm gonna show you some of the footage that I've gotten

and you're gonna help me confirm the identity

of the suspects and the illegal activity,

and then we are going to make a statement.

Now, who and what we find, keep an open mind, all right?

You're here to educate me.

All right.

Look, man, I ain't no fucking rat.

I'm gonna put your name in as anonymous, all right?

You don't have to worry about that.

Show me the tape. Go ahead.

All right, take a look at this.

That's Mr. Sawyer. Car salesman. Look at this. Look at this.

Come here.

That lady?

Her name is Joy Reynolds.

- Yeah. - She lives in Ivy Dale.

- You know her? - Joy, yeah.

She's a good fucking woman.

All right.

Man.

Hey, fucking listen like a human for a second, man.

She fucking gets beaten by her fucking husband,

gets kicked out of the house--

The kids were getting beaten too.

She lives in that fuckin' van.

She gets a script because her old man broke her arm.

That's how she feeds her kids.

What the fuck are you trying to achieve here

by fucking busting everybody?

I'm trying to make a difference.

I'm trying to help the town.

The town that I grew up in, the town that I live in,

the town that my nephew, your son, lives in.

You're barking up the wrong tree, okay?

These people are not the fucking problem.

You're going fucking crazy.

All right, what do you see?

'Cause I'll tell you what I see,

I see the park that we used to play in when we was kids.

Listen, man.

We're not fucking kids anymore, okay?

Will.

Will! Dammit.

Fuck.

Say nothing.

You better not saying nothing to nobody.

Fuck off, man.

Fucking crazy.

Hey.

We can go home.

I mean, it's no big deal.

Nah.

Promise you come back and get me?

Baby, I'll stay out here all day and night

if you want me to.

Romantic.

- All right. - All right, let's go.

♪ Thanks for the memories

♪ You welcome Sammy's crew

♪ Our men are taught too few

♪ I wish that I could kiss

♪ Each and every one of you

Hey, Mom.

Thanks for showing up.

Thanks for letting me help out.

You're not welcome.

The mother of your child is in rehab

and I need help caring for your son.

Have you heard from your father?

No.

Check on him after you walk Morgan.

Sure. Yeah.

- Dad! - Hey, little man.

Let me take that.

Ready to go to school?

Yep!

Remember when you used to walk me?

Bye, Grandma.

Kick it, kick my back foot,

and then I'll trip up over myself.

You gotta...

Huah!

Come on, you gotta be faster than that.

Punch my hand.

I'm too strong. I can take it.

Oh, no I can't!

Are you and Mom dying?

Huh?

Who told you that?

At school, they told us how drug addicts die.

We're not drug people, okay?

Don't say that.

Promise me.

Promise?

You promise you're not gonna say that?

All right. Come on.

♪ Treat each other right

♪ And find fulfillment in this life ♪

♪ Drink the peaceful waters from the mountain ♪

♪ Peace Mountain

♪ In the land of Canaan on Peace Mountain ♪

♪ Where I go and our work is done on Peace Mountain ♪

♪ Where I'll die a shiner's son on Peace Mountain ♪

♪ In the land of Canaan

And this is a tornado.

Look, I'll show you a tornado.

Look.

Like this, look.

You do it.

Okay.

Let's see.

They'll let us know tomorrow about the arrangements.

A tornado!

It starts a tornado!

It starts a tor-na-do!

They'll let us know tomorrow about the arrangement--

Are you gonna grow up big and smart?

You're gonna grow up strong and healthy?

Are you? Are you?

You swear.

It's time for your bath, Morgan.

Can Dad take me?

It's getting late.

I'll just run the water

and then I'll be outta here in no time.

Yeah?

I'll race you.

Go!

Bath's run.

Ready to go.

Fuck's that?

You have no idea how this got in my house?

You killed your father,

and you're gonna kill Sara.

Just kill your damn self

so that little boy has a chance to be something in his life.

Get out.

I said, "get out"!

Out!

Get out!

Fuck!

Fuck!

You don't even have to shoot me. No,

you know you can just give it to me and I can swallow.

- No. - Please, I'm not gonna sleep.

You fucking OD'ed, baby. What the fuck?

- That's not gonna happen fucking again. - I get that--

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is another day. I'm fucking sick too.

Baby, we can be sick together.

That's fucking fine.

I'm not going to feel better tomorrow.

I can't!

Just stay fucking clean for Morgan, okay?

For Morgan, like I did fucking everything for Morgan!

Everything and you don't do shit!

Get the fuck outta my house!

- I ain't fucking leaving-- - Get the fuck outta my house.

Get the fuck outta my fucking house!

Get out! It's your fault!

This is your fucking fault!

Get out! Get out!

Why don't you just tell all your friends,

especially all those minors who have bad injuries,

if they buy a 40 milligram coupon,

well, they'll get an 80 on us.

Cash only.

Will!

Come on, I need to talk to you.

There's a doctor.

He's illegally selling pills out of his office.

Fuck's that got to do with me?

I need you to make a purchase, all right?

Now, you do that for me and I swear to you,

that'll be the last time I bother you.

No, man.

No.

Hey, Will.

Please, look at me.

I need your help.

Man, I came to you because your sister needed your help.

She still needs your fucking help, man.

She still needs your help.

Sara?

Sara?

Fuck, man. Where is she.

Sara!

Sara, what the fuck are you doing here?

Sharing needles with these guys?

Sara!

Sara, fucking look at me.

We're leaving!

Fucking come with me, please!

Sara.

Sara, I'll get you right, okay?

I'll get you right.

Just come with me.

Fucking come with me, please!

Now!

You remember how much fun we used to have?

Don't you?

Fuck.

Please, man.

Look, I'll do anything you want, okay?

Just fucking let me get Sara back into rehab, please.

Did you sell pills to Lisa Newton?

What are you talking about, man?

Did you sell pills to Lisa Newton?

Man, shit, look, I'll fucking do anything, okay?

I need to get Sara back in the rehab, man.

You need to answer my question.

A teenage girl is dead.

Did you sell pills to Lisa Newton?

No, man!

What the hell is wrong with you?

Nothing.

I'm fine, okay?

You know a teenager--

Just tell me what I have to do.

Just tell me what I have to do.

You gonna be all right to do this?

Will?

Jesus.

You ready?

Hey, Will, you gonna be able to do this?

Come on, you ain't going in there.

Gimme the shirt.

- And the recorder. - Fuck.

Come on.

Next.

Name?

Rusty Lucas.

Rusty. Do I know you?

No.

You sure?

I heard you was selling scripts.

How much you got?

I got $500.

Here you go.

Aw, fuck.

Sara?

Hey. Hey. Sara?

Sara!

Sara! Sara!

Hey! Sara, hey!

Hey, wake up!

Sara, wake up!

Fuck!

Fuck.

Police department! Sit the bag down,

turn around and put your hands behind your back for us.

Okay, okay.

Turn around.

Sir! Stop resisting!

I'm taking us back to the clinic.

I'm taking us both to rehab.

♪ Well, I probably shouldn't drive home ♪

♪ But I'll be just fine

♪ Long as I keep my wheels in the lines ♪

♪ Most times it's easy

♪ But right now I ain't sure

♪ These roads keep on winding

♪ Around in a blur

My name is Nora and I have been in recovery

for right over two and a half years.

I've been in sobriety for five years the 27th of July.

For 23 months.

Six months.

August 3rd will make a year

Since June 11, 2022.

I got two years clean.

Been in and outta recovery for about five years.

I've been clean for three years now.

I was prescribed medication in high school

and in middle school,

and I would take it to school and trade it off.

And I didn't like what I was prescribed,

but I liked what other people were prescribed

and they liked what I had, so it just worked out.

We would just trade scripts.

Well, the first time I got high off Oxy,

I'd say I was...

I was 17.

And uh, actually I thought was the best thing in the world.

I mean, I had more energy.

Uh, like I was shy as a teenager.

It helped me cope with this, hanging out with people.

I used it for anxiety and everything.

But I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I loved the feeling.

When Oxycontin came out,

I thought I'd found my miracle drug.

It was like I was 10-foot tall and bulletproof.

I didn't shoot up until later on in life,

but I snorted a lot of pills.

I'd probably do 15, 20 80s a day.

I was 18, and I could go to the doctor

and just tell 'em that my back was hurting

and they wrote me a prescription.

It got to where at first

I'd just try to sell 'em to my buddies,

and then when you get strung out and you're sick

and you need just the money, you'd sell to just anybody,

and I ended up selling to an informant.

Yeah, I went to prison for selling Oxycontins.

I got five years.

That's what I had to do; every day of it.

As long as you got that high,

you can blow off whatever's going on.

Whatever made you want to get out in the first place,

it helps you forget.

And then after a while,

that's all you can think about, is your next high.

I started drinking at 12.

My dad and me shared a beer, and I hated it.

But it was the relationship with him that I sought after.

Um, well, when I was younger, at three years old,

I got raped and stuff like that.

They kept on leading me back to the drugs and stuff.

In 2017, I lost my parents.

They kept on causing me to go back to the drugs and stuff,

where I lost 'em and stuff.

The bad things that happen to us in life,

you gotta change your mind thinking,

change your heart and soul,

so you can forget about it and stuff

without having to go back to the drugs.

Um, I loved feeling different.

I loved that.

And not different from like other people,

but different inside.

I felt something.

I know I was eight when I started using,

but it progressed into other things

because I wanted the attention of others.

So that's when I started allegedly selling drugs.

So, you know monkeys can't sell bananas,

so I ended up becoming in full active addiction

by the age of 15.

I was IV user at 16.

And everything progressed really, really bad.

I got consequences and went to jail.

And then I got put in drug court and it saved my life

because I was at suicide every day.

If I woke up, I wanted to die.

I try to tell my children all the time,

"Like, you're-- This shit runs deep in both sides."

I'm an addict and their fathers are addicts,

and I actually had one last night, my 10 year old's dad,

he'd been sober almost 18 months

and he overdosed last night.

Yeah, it's been a long day, but...

I think a lot of people, they take a lot of,

addiction was the worst thing that could have happened.

I have to disagree.

Addiction has turned me into being a better person.

If anybody has anything that happened to 'em

or anything like that, talk about it, let it go and stuff.

Change your mind thinking and stuff

because we don't gotta live with the pain

and going through living using drugs to cover up our pain.

And I truly believe that I was gonna die using,

and I wanted to, I was okay with it.

And I'm so glad I was forced into it.

And I finally gave up.

Because I live a life today that I never,

I never thought possible.

I never thought I was worth the life that I have today.

And uh-- And today, it's still unbelievable.

I cannot believe where I'm at.

I mean even just a year ago, like...

if somebody told me I would be where I'm at today,

I wouldn't believe it.

And so I'm just excited to see

how much further my life can go.

I dropped Jeremiah off at my parents' house

for Tim and I to go out and they knew I was gonna come back.

And 10 years ago, I dropped.

And not only did they know I was gonna come back,

I knew I was gonna come back.

And 10 years ago, I had a kid that I dropped off

and I did not come back for.

But now that kid is in my life and so is he.

And so it's just like, it's really cool, you know?

♪ Whatever you want me to be

♪ Then that's what I'll be

♪ Wherever you want me to be

♪ Then that's where I'll be

♪ Waiting for you

♪ Only if you want me to