Original subtitles

Hurry, Victoria, it's our big dinner tonight and I want everything to be just

perfect. You worry too much, Mr. Kendall.

Mr.

Kendall, sir.

No, I don't suppose I call myself a people person. I'm rather more

birds, actually.

Edward's not chasing.

Mr. and Mrs. Dyson.

Never mind the chow, champs. Bring us another round of planter's punch.

Coming right up, Mr. Dyson.

Your leaks. And your ugly.

Mr.

Raphael?

Miss Esther?

Thank you.

You don't have to thank him, girl. It's what he's paid to do.

Thank you so much.

Big thing around these parts is zombies.

Some people say that zombies are corpses who've come back to life.

Other people say, no, they're living persons who've been drugged by a bokor,

voodoo witch doctor, to do his bidding. It's a horrible practice, voodoo, an

affront to Christianity. It should be stamped out.

I think my first husband was one of the living dead.

At least in the sack.

I once met a fellow who claimed that he'd seen a zombie, you know.

Oh, I can't imagine anything more terrifying.

Can you?

Mind you, the behavior of some people in our so -called civilized society is

often no better.

Drink, drugs, bread hopping, suicides, wives murdering their husbands, husbands

doing away with their wives.

Wouldn't you agree? How do you find being men of God?

I'm so sorry. Were you talking to me, Mr. Pogrid?

Yes, it's this glass eye of mine. It has a mind of its own.

Oh, no, no, no. It wasn't that. I was wool -gathering, I'm afraid.

Miles away.

Well, of course, it was an unsuitable topic for dinner.

But if you'll allow me to show you something, I think you'll find it

interesting.

Everything all right, Saifu?

Oh, what is that?

Colonel Prescott, I saw the watercolour you've been working on. It's absolutely

lovely. Thank you. It's really not.

Hey, Colonel Hillington, you've caught the sun.

It suits you. Mrs. Hillington, I'm positively green with envy. He looks

the film star.

What? I'm so jealous. I could quite tear it off your back.

Oh, you're no such yourself, Molly. I absolutely adore the color of this

Well, you know, you can get it in a little shop by reception.

Something of a hobby of mine.

I call it my chamber of horrors.

Now, look at this.

Innocent -looking... I hope Molly's been looking after you all. I'm afraid not.

She's been flirting with all the men except me. I feel left out.

Let me show you something.

It was sent me a few years back by an old army pal.

Just a snapshot showing off some whopping great striped marlin he'd

in Kenya.

Voodoo's not a subject to be taken lightly.

It acts as a slow poison affecting the whole of society.

Well, a letter arrives from my chum. I come here every year to try and help

educate people. I always stay here. Molly Kendall is a wonder.

So kind.

Saying? that someone in the background was probably a murderer who

got away with it, not once, but twice.

Now, here we are.

See this blurry figure here?

I think it must be... Well, I'm damned.

I mean... And the picture is seething. He's having a bad day.

As I was saying, I'd like to have shown you those tusks, Miss Marple. It's the

biggest elephant I've ever shot.

Here you go, mate. It's all yours.

That murderer, Major Paul Graves. It was really nothing, Miss Marple. I must

have made a mistake. I mean, things like that don't happen outside of books.

Oh, but they do, practically every day.

If a murderer gets a formula that works, they won't stop.

They go on with it. Like Lucretia Borgia.

Oh, the brides in the bath.

I am so sorry, Major, but we need to find Miss Marple. Oh.

Forgive me, but I think you've heard quite enough from our resident ball.

Thank you, Major Padre.

Oh, thank you.

Well,

it's a dream, isn't it?

Not my sort of thing, I'm afraid, all this leaping about and carrying on.

You know, the Major's not so bad.

He's old and lonely and likes to remember when he was young and happy.

shouldn't drink so much. He has high blood pressure.

He does look a rather alarming purple colour. I think it's a race between him

and old Mr. Raphael to see who will drop off their purge first.

Bill Vulture is fantastically rich.

He made his money in chemicals and fertiliser.

The young woman with him is his secretary.

What though he is?

The young man?

Jackson.

Raphael would be helpless as a baby without him.

He's a nurse, a valet, and a fully trained bus driver.

So nice to get everyone sorted out.

And what brings you to St. Honoré? My husband is a keen bird watcher.

I am less keen.

Edward's gone so far as to arrange some sort of lecture later on in the week.

Some fellow from the Ordnance Society is coming over.

Tell me about your friends, the American couple.

Greg and Lucky Dyson. We met them here a few years ago.

He's a photographer.

All the good, actually.

He's got a lot of nature and scenery for the magazines.

Think I'll turn here now.

Rather ruby than the old fire water, I fear. Yes, I'm not feeling 100 % myself.

Oh.

I'm better.

All right.

Excuse me.

I say, Major Pogreve.

I don't want to appear ungrateful. My nephew Raymond has gone to such expense.

Dr. Haydock is convinced.

The carpet will be good for my rheumatism. It is beautiful.

tribal monotonous, so many palm trees.

But it's not like home, where there's always something happening.

This is me. I shall bid you good night. Good night. I do hope you're feeling

more yourself tomorrow.

Yes, well, Errol must have mixed the drinks particularly strong tonight.

Not as young as I was.

Who's there?

Come.

Who's there?

The current has watched it wrong from the point.

Better get rid of it before any of the guests come down.

Oh, I haven't gained anything. No.

Well, you can't have anything for nothing, can you?

You certainly can't.

Do you think it's going to be all right?

We're making a go of it, aren't we?

You mustn't worry, though.

You don't think people are saying it's not the same as when your folks are

running the place? Don't be silly.

We're a great team, you and I.

I don't know if you think so.

I worry too much, thinking, what if something should go wrong? What could go

wrong? I don't know.

I'm a fool.

You haven't had any more of those dreams, have you?

No, I think that was a selfish...

Everything all right, John?

Good morning, miss.

Another perfect day in paradise. Oh, indeed.

Am I here? Anything wrong?

Well, you'll have to know.

Everyone will have to know.

Poor Major Palgrave died in the night. Oh, I am sorry.

Of course, he was quite old.

And he had high blood pressure.

I forgot.

He has been examined by a doctor.

Mr. Raphael's nurse found him. Apparently he'd arranged for a massage

morning. And the local people have just been to give him a desiccator.

It all seems quite straightforward, but it's terribly worrying to me and Tim.

There's no need to fret.

An elderly man like Major Paul Grave with a fondness for alcohol.

If only it hadn't been so sudden.

Yes, it was sudden, wasn't it?

One minute he was laughing and joking and telling stories, and the next... My

dear, are you quite all right?

Yes, I thought... It's nothing. I thought I saw something.

Do you ever get the feeling someone is... I must have... I just imagined it.

Yes, these things happen.

It's bad luck for the old boy, but people can't live forever, can they?

No, they can't.

What do you mean by barging in here? Can't you knock? I'm sorry, sir. I did

knock. I thought you might... Are you all right?

Errol, drinks can have a powerful kick.

Oh, no, no, I'm not.

I have an upset stomach, that's all.

Oh, poor you.

Sorry to shout like that. I'm all out of kilter.

I think I must have had a bad prawn last night.

Yep, look. There he is.

I feel very careful where you'll spot him. He's a light, dun color, extremely

well camouflaged. It got me.

Lucky, you really must try to be a little quieter.

Hey, Greg.

Take my picture.

You never photograph me anymore.

I only try to take pictures of beautiful things these days.

He's over there in the swizzle stick tree.

Ed, your wife is right. This is all too boring.

There goes my lucky charm.

You still love her, Greg.

Ed, you may know all there is to know about birds, but you don't know the

thing about women, and you don't know the first thing about Lucky.

This is not as good as Frangipane, eh?

One can't get it here.

It's a pity.

Are you going into your dip now?

I'll go in when I'm ready.

It's gone half past eleven.

Jackson said... Bugger what that fool says.

Caribbean isn't what it used to be.

Can't move a step without some old booby getting under your feet.

Oh, isn't it splendid?

Splendid? I suppose you've heard the sad news.

My man Jackson told me all about it. The poor Major.

A ghastly old boy.

He needn't have died if he'd looked after himself properly. Come now, Mr.

Raphael. Oh, look at me.

The doctors gave me up years ago.

If it wasn't for Jackson, they might have been right.

Besides, Major Porgrave had high blood pressure. Who says so? He was very red

the face.

So what?

I said to him once, you've got to watch your blood pressure.

He said he had nothing to look out for in that line. His blood pressure was

good for his AIDS.

Men never like to admit there's anything wrong with them.

Poppycock.

Talking of ailments, I don't suppose, I know it's a little presumptuous of me,

but do you think your man Jackson might be able to look at my knee?

Your knee?

I thought perhaps the warmer weather might... Right, spare us the grisly

What time is it?

Twenty to twelve?

I thought I'd had my dip long ago. Why can't you remind me of these

things, girl?

Old men are so ugly, aren't they?

I sometimes think they should all be put to death at forty.

I hope 35 would be better.

Oh, hey, Molly.

Are you going to come for a swim after lunch? You look a vision in a swimsuit.

I love you.

Do all bird watchers go around the place after the tea?

He told me it's only loaded with blanks.

Some of these parts are pretty hairy.

The gun's just a warning, nothing more.

Whoa!

I can give you some pills for the pain.

Dental exercise will help. Otherwise, um... Just old age.

I've offered to help with the funeral arrangements for the major. Bad

It seems so sad to die alone like that and so far from home.

He didn't care for English winters. Can't say I blame him. Did he, like me,

health reasons?

that made it necessary for him to winter abroad?

Not that I know of, but I never examined him.

Not while he was alive, at least. But it was his blood pressure that killed him.

I found a bottle of blood pressure pills in his room.

Serenite.

How wonderful science is nowadays.

Doctors can do so much, can't they? All with a little pill.

They can't bring the dead back to life.

Oh,

a cannon.

I wonder if it's not too much of a bother.

I was showing a snapshot.

of my nephew, Raymond, to the major last night. And I think he might have got

muddled up with some of his own photograph.

You can't miss it.

Raymond is holding up a...

You're back then?

Victoria, you know that mistake that I asked you about?

I will make it

worth your while. Just give me the address. I'll get it myself.

Okay.

Please don't tell anyone.

Thank you.

Lovely evening.

Oh, hello.

I got a little lost looking for my bungalow.

Well, you look busy. I need to clear the Major's room ready for the next guest.

Better not tell them what happened, eh?

No, I suppose not.

I always think it's very sad having to look through the personal possessions of

someone who's just died.

It's the little things that I find so poignant.

Things they'll never need again, like their razor, their toothbrush, or in the

Major's case, his... bottle of blood pressure pills.

Things you must have seen a hundred times when you were cleaning his room.

Must have.

Oh, well.

I'm sorry to have disturbed you.

No bother.

What do you want? It's not morning. Wake up, man. I need to talk to you. What's

worrying you, girl?

You want coughing again?

It's a bad error.

It's getting worse.

Get some more medicine off Mama's arm. It's not enough.

We need to take her to a proper doctor. We can't afford no doctor. We need to do

something. It's the middle of the night.

We can't do nothing now.

We'll talk about it in the morning. I'm going to sleep.

I can't sleep.

My mind is going round and round and round like a fish in a bowl.

The little one will be all right. It's not just that.

I've been thinking about the major man who died.

Something I don't like.

Something wrong about it. Don't worry about that.

He was old. He died. Listen, man.

It's them pills.

Them pills in his room. There's something wrong there. Leave it.

Don't go looking for trouble.

Death, that's nothing. It's got nothing to do with us.

short time to live and is full of misery.

He cometh up and is cut down like a flower.

He flyeth as it were a shadow and never continueth in one's day.

In the midst of life we are in death.

I do think there might have been a better turnout for the old chap.

Well at least he's buried somewhere that he loved.

In a week or so no one will even remember him.

I'll spare him a passing thought.

Except you, perhaps?

Yes.

Yes, I suppose it is all down to me now.

All right, Victoria, all right. I understand.

We don't want to make a fuss, and I certainly don't want Tim worried about

I won't.

I'm sorry to say we could find no trace of your Marlin photograph among the

major things.

Plenty of pictures of slaughtered animals, but no fish, I'm afraid, large

small. Never mind, I'm sure I can get another print.

Well, here's to the old fellow.

He was something of a fixture at Golden Palms, won't be the same next year.

In a funny way, I think I'll miss all his stories.

Do you recall what he was talking about at dinner the night he died? A lot of

silly stuff about voodoo.

I mean, after that.

I must confess, I wasn't really listening.

I suppose he must have told you his stories many times. He had a store of

and a photograph to illustrate each one, whether it be some poor dead tiger or,

you know... Dua?

He loved scandal, gossip, anything to do with, uh... You know, how shall I put

it?

F .E .X. Oh, come now, Canon, I'm not a nun.

F .E .X. may not have been mentioned in my day, but there was plenty of it

about.

and enjoy it far more than nowadays, where it seems to become a kind of duty.

Not my territory, I'm afraid.

Sadly, my church training taught me a great deal about the soul, but very

about the heart.

Other than that, it's all a terrible sin, of course.

Talking of sin, did the major ever talk to you about a murderer?

I do remember something about a woman, a golden -haired Lucretia Borgia, who

poisoned her husband and her lover, something like that. But as I say, I

really listened to him that attentively, and you couldn't see anything in the

photograph. A woman?

I'm quite sure.

I may not know a great deal about men and women, Miss Marvel, but I can still

tell the difference.

It all sounds rather idiotic, I know, but as far as I can make out, Victoria

got it into her head that someone put poison tablets in the major... What's

name of that stuff?

Serum something bottle.

I think what she said was that... There was a bottle in there labelled serenite.

It's quite commonly used.

But Victoria said she'd never seen a bottle in his room before.

How do you mean?

It only turned up after his death.

If they weren't his pills, could they have poisoned him?

No, they wouldn't do anything.

But, I mean, if they weren't his pills, he wouldn't have taken them in the first

place, would he?

Of course not. How stupid.

Victoria had us all thinking he'd been poisoned.

May I ever show you a photograph of a murderer?

A murderer?

I don't recall him ever telling a story about a murderer. Plenty of tittle

-tattle and gossip.

You mean people staying at the hotel?

You must have heard the rumours.

Afraid if I have, I must have forgotten them.