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All language subtitles for Trump Flips Off Autoworker, Greenland Obsession Could Cost $700 Billion ｜ The Tonight Show [nFjs4Mo1Y9w]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,270 --> 00:00:03,970 Thank you very much. I love you. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, 2 00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:06,770 to The Tonight Show. You're here. 3 00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:08,030 You made it. 4 00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:09,710 Thank you for watching. 5 00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:15,870 Well, guys, today, President Trump said anything less than the U .S. having full 6 00:00:15,870 --> 00:00:17,810 control of Greenland is unacceptable. 7 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:22,310 But according to a new report, buying the island could cost $700 billion. 8 00:00:23,930 --> 00:00:26,810 Gosh, can't he just scroll Zillow and daydream like the rest of us? 9 00:00:28,139 --> 00:00:31,660 We're already $38 trillion in debt. This would be like your deadbeat uncle 10 00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:34,560 walking into a yacht dealership. You're like, no, no, don't do this. 11 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,460 $700 billion, or we could try Trump's option of putting Greenland between us 12 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,100 Denmark and seeing who they float to. 13 00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:46,960 Come on, come on, come on over. You know, come on. You remember. You love 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000 You love me. 15 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,120 Trump was like, how can we get $700 billion? Then one guy heard and was 16 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,240 I'm back, baby! 17 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:56,040 Yeah, baby! 18 00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:03,200 Meanwhile, today in Washington, J .D. Vance and Marco Rubio met with officials 19 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,420 from Greenland and Denmark. 20 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,460 Wait, they didn't meet with Trump? That's... It's like the cat in the hat 21 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,360 sending thing one and thing two, you know? 22 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:16,840 Vance and Rubio used their favorite negotiation tactic, good cop, tiny cop. 23 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:21,740 Well, people were talking about this yesterday. Trump was touring a factory 24 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:25,160 Michigan when a worker heckled him, and Trump responded by flipping him the 25 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,160 bird. 26 00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:28,800 Or as it's also known, the Melania salute. 27 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,280 There you go. Good morning. 28 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,520 Good morning, honey. 29 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,460 Usually when Trump flips the bird, he's just looking for a drumstick in his KFC 30 00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:41,660 bucket. He's like, what? Sigh, sigh, sigh. Where's the drummy? 31 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,420 You guys see this? According to a new report, Trump has been texting with New 32 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:48,060 York City Mayor Zoran Mamdani. 33 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:52,680 Every time Trump texts Mamdani, he's like, duck my life. 34 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:58,820 Mamdani calls Trump Mr. President, while Trump calls Mamdani the Shane to my 35 00:01:58,820 --> 00:01:59,820 Ilya. 36 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:07,980 Get this? The USDA is now using Trump in their new campaign to encourage people 37 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:10,460 to drink whole milk. This is real. Look at this. 38 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:12,480 Yeah. 39 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,240 That's real. 40 00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:16,980 Trump also filmed a commercial. Check this out. 41 00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:19,750 No, no, no, no, no. 42 00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:26,110 Absolutely not. What are you talking about? 43 00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:29,670 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 44 00:02:32,170 --> 00:02:35,970 Or this. 45 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,090 So what's your favorite drink? Coca -Cola. 46 00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,070 He was supposed to say whole milk. 47 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:51,210 Close. 48 00:02:56,650 --> 00:03:00,350 Well, switching gears today, there was a massive Verizon outage that had 49 00:03:00,350 --> 00:03:02,430 customers' phones stuck in SOS mode. 50 00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:06,950 Yeah, it's rare for Verizon to have an outage. The only thing more rare is for 51 00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:08,110 AT &T to have an image. 52 00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:14,230 Well, guys, it's an awards season right now, which means we're seeing a lot of 53 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:18,970 celebs, and the hottest hairstyle we're seeing is being donned the chillet, a .k 54 00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:21,510 .a. the chill mullet. Here, I'll show you what I mean. 55 00:03:25,810 --> 00:03:32,790 If your hair's 56 00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:36,230 feeling boardy, you can make like Jake Elordi, get a chillet. 57 00:03:36,910 --> 00:03:37,910 A chillet. 58 00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:42,880 Don't like your hair at all, you can make like Metcalfe Hall, get a chillet. 59 00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:44,580 A chillet. 60 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:49,500 You'll be saying wow when you look like Glenn Powell in a chillet. 61 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,220 A chillet. 62 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:56,020 You can make it three with the heated rivalry, got to chill it. 63 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:02,820 You can make your hair look like Carmi from The Bear with a chillet. 64 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:06,670 Need a new style? 65 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:09,430 Ask your barber for the styles. It's a chill it. 66 00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:11,170 A chill it. 67 00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:16,190 Even Nick Jonas and the guy from White Lotus has a chill it. 68 00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:17,829 A chill it. 69 00:04:18,829 --> 00:04:22,870 Also Benson Boone and the bad guy from Dune has a chill it. 70 00:04:23,490 --> 00:04:24,590 A chill it. 71 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:29,610 Even Florence Pugh and Bella from New Moon has a chill it. 72 00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,330 A chill it. 73 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,580 Back to a little fun, but it's business in the front. 74 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:37,240 It's a chill. 75 00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:51,060 Feel it. 76 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,760 We'll get this, everybody. 77 00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:58,870 Peep. just announced that their Easter 2026 flavors include Pop -Tarts Frosted 78 00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:01,930 Strawberry, Sunny D, and Chili Lime Mango. 79 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:04,870 It's just like Jesus would have wanted. 80 00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:11,670 Well, this is exciting. Nike just signed their first professional pickleball 81 00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:12,970 player, Anna Lee Waters. 82 00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:14,250 Wow. 83 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,130 That's really cool. I love pickleball. 84 00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:19,210 Yeah, it's fun. You know what's even more fun, though? Padel. 85 00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:20,410 You ever play Padel? 86 00:05:20,590 --> 00:05:24,170 No. I really enjoy pickleball, so I'm going to stick with that. 87 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,440 Good. Good. 88 00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:32,900 Glad we settled that. 89 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:40,420 In other news, I read that... It's just you can't say pickleball is more fun if 90 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:45,420 you've never played Bedell. I've seen some videos of it. But pickleball just 91 00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:46,820 seems more my thing. 92 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,560 That's awesome. 93 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,360 That's awesome. 94 00:05:53,860 --> 00:05:54,860 Teeth their own. 95 00:05:58,580 --> 00:05:59,580 Let's move on. 96 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:06,200 I saw that... It's just Padel has walls, which adds a whole new complex 97 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,980 dimension. Yeah, yeah. 98 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,880 Yeah, see, I don't really need walls in my sport, because I'm a pickleball guy. 99 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,640 Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally. Yeah, yeah, not a big deal, not 100 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:18,199 big deal. 101 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,700 Some people don't like complexity. 102 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,940 Let's get back to the news. 103 00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:30,610 In Iowa, I thought, do you know Padel is the fastest growing paddle sport? 104 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:37,050 I don't want to play Padel. Great, I don't care then. In other news, 105 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:44,090 in the world, the fastest growing paddle 106 00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:50,870 sport in the world. Pickleball is just fine by me. Exactly, just fine. 107 00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:52,790 Padel is the future. 108 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,030 Padel is... 109 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,860 A truck in Ireland was carrying a load of seafood when it crashed into a ditch 110 00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:50,720 and set 15 ,000 live crabs free. 111 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,960 Pretty much the best -case scenario after telling your friends you got crabs 112 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:55,960 from a truck driver. 113 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,480 Crabs. Thankfully, everything was okay after they hosed down the road with 114 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,540 melted butter. There you go. 115 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,560 That's right. 116 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,080 Finally, guys, you ever see a photo in the news and think that headline could 117 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,580 better? It's time for News and Improved. Here we go. 118 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:28,680 For example, check out this first photo. The original headline was Russia holds 119 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,280 conference on military operations. 120 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,520 That headline can definitely be improved because if you only looked at the 121 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,600 photo, the headline could have been Putin tries his best Riz face. 122 00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:48,140 Next headline was... Up 123 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:54,860 next, this headline 124 00:08:54,860 --> 00:09:00,700 says... Headline could have been... Next 125 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:06,480 headline was... 126 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:12,320 Headline could have been, man stuck like that after sleeping on airplane tray 127 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,320 table. 128 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,900 You gotta be kidding me, man. 129 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:17,060 Seven -hour flight? 130 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,560 Oh, man. 131 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,040 It's a nightmare, dude. 132 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,580 It's a nightmare for me, you understand? 133 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,080 His next headline was, UK prime minister visits community center. 134 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,160 Headline could have been, man looks nothing like hinge photo. 135 00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:40,070 Next headline was Marco Rubio and Pete Hegsteth field press questions. 136 00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:42,970 Headline could have been, Dad not mad, just disappointed. 137 00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:55,130 And finally, this headline was, former British Chancellor joins 138 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:58,830 Reform Party. Headline could have been, 10th annual This Guy conference 139 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:02,550 underway. That's all the time we have for News and Improved. We have a great 140 00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:04,610 show. Laura Dern is here tonight. 141 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:12,640 Winner Tiana Taylor is here to top and then perform with Lucky Day. 142 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:18,560 From the number one movie on Netflix, People We Meet on Vacation, Emily Baird. 11261