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{\an1}SHE GASPS
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00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,540
Ooh!
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{\an1}HOOT!
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00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,540
Argh!
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00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,060
Ah! No! Wah!
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{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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Hello, everybody. I am Greg Davies.
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Come, take my hand and run,
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00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:42,780
as I guide you through the
giddy pleasure fields of Taskmaster.
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00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:44,780
Forget about
all the bad things in life,
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00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:48,620
let's rip off our shirts, hold each
other tightly and work up a sweat
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00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:51,020
as we glide through my land.
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00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:52,460
Phwoar!
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00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,940
{\an1}LAUGHTER
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The five contestants competing
for this top-notch trophy are...
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00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:04,660
Iain Stirling,
17
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,540
Joe Thomas,
18
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:08,580
Lou Sanders,
19
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,340
Paul Sinha
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00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,140
and Sian Gibson.
21
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,060
And look what the cat dragged in -
22
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:18,020
a scruffy, lice-infested baby rat!
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HIGH-PITCHED:
It's little Alex Horne!
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00:01:20,860 --> 00:01:22,940
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
25
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:26,620
Hello, are you OK, Alex?
26
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:27,740
I'm OK, I am OK.
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00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:29,780
You know I get so hot
because of my admin,
28
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:32,220
but today I've got the wristbands
and the ankle bands.
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00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:35,100
So they will just collect the
moisture throughout the evening,
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00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:37,140
and I will be better for it.
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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Alex, can we have
the Prize Task, please?
33
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:46,540
Yes. This week,
it really is the Prize Task,
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00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:49,140
because they've been asked
to bring in
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00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:51,140
the best present for a doctor.
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00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,940
Paul, welcome to
episode number four.
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00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,940
Hello. We're starting
with you, I presume,
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because you did once...be a doctor.
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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I am a qualified GP, and the worst
thing about being a Chaser and a GP
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00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:09,660
is being on a flight and someone
falling ill and somebody saying,
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00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,460
"Is there a doctor on the plane?"
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00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:14,060
So the best gift
that you can give to a doctor
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00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,820
is something to stop him from being
bothered by the general public.
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Here we go. There it is.
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Is that you?! That is absolutely me.
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You look about ten years younger.
You should do that.
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I mean, she's right,
it really has given you a lift.
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00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:30,620
And if I do look
like that on a plane,
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00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:33,740
people will be looking at me,
but not with hope.
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00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,340
OK. All right, Greg?
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00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:39,100
So it's very much
a present to himself. Yeah.
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Who's next? OK. Next up, Joe. Joe.
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Just best present to give anyone -
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a BMX.
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{\an1}APPLAUSE
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Um... BMXs are cool.
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00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:56,580
Tick. Doctors are cool as well.
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00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,900
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Why shouldn't
they have some downtime?
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00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:01,260
Why shouldn't they have
some downtime... Yeah.
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00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,060
..and take in a few
leaps and skids and, um...
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I'm beginning to think
this isn't your BMX,
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cos you don't know enough BMX terms.
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I know all the terms - wheel.
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What does BMX stand for, Joe?
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00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,940
It stands for
Bicycle, My X-Cellent bicycle.
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00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,940
I believe.
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00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,580
That haunting poem!
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00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:24,420
Who's next? Next up, Iain Stirling.
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00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:28,980
I went to university
and I met medic students
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00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:34,300
and realised that they're the
biggest bunch of alcoholic maniacs.
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So I decided to get the doctor
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a big sort of huge-night-out kit.
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00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:43,220
Yes, here we are.
A big-night-out kit. Yeah?
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00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:47,460
Glowsticks. If anyone remembers
Carnage UK from university,
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00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,540
congratulations on your 2:2.
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00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:54,620
I don't know what Carnage UK is?
It's when you go to different pubs
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00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:57,380
and then drink until you...
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are sad.
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00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:02,020
OK? Yes, very lovely. Who's next?
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00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:03,260
Lou, I think, probably.
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00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:06,460
Just a classic case of a herb garden
and a bottle of whisky, for...
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00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,860
There it is. For the doctor.
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00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,340
Herb garden and a bottle of whisky.
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00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,580
Iain's already
got the doctor shit-faced...
86
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,660
Yeah. ..so what are you bringing
with the herbs?
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00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,020
This is for the older doctor.
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00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:18,900
You know, they're one year off
being a consultant, maybe.
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00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:21,300
It really is the whole life
I've taken into account.
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00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,980
From garden to kitchen to bedroom.
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00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,620
To bedroom?
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00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,500
Whisky's for the bedroom -
we all know that.
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00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,380
How have you been doing it?
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I use the herbs.
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It's the first time ever
I can't pick who's going to go last!
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00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:39,660
{\an1}LAUGHTER
97
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:41,020
We've still got Sian. Sian?
98
00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:44,020
You know if you go to McDonald's...
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00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:46,180
that people have
a little rating system
100
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,660
on their little shirt?
101
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,860
Yeah. Well, maybe doctors should
have a little star system.
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00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:54,140
OK. This would be me
if I was a doctor.
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00:04:57,700 --> 00:05:00,580
If a doctor came to you with
"I'm fab at jabs!" on their badge,
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00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:01,620
would you like that?
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00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:04,460
Yes, I would. I'd be very
confident in their ability.
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00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,220
"I'm fine at rhyme",
would be another one.
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00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:08,860
I think it's got to be
medical, though. Yeah. OK.
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00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:11,980
"After your vasectomy,
you'll be really pleased with me"?
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You'd need a bigger badge!
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But, yeah.
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Well, there we go. All five.
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Oh, man. Can I be impertinent
if you're having trouble? Yeah.
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I am a doctor, so I'm
in a good position to judge.
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00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,620
Yeah. Iain's one isn't necessary.
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00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:27,260
You're basically accusing doctors
of being binge drinkers
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00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,980
when what they actually are
functioning alcoholics, which is...
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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The one that I'd most like
out of all of that is the BMX,
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00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,340
because it'll just
take your mind off...
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00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:36,780
You didn't even say your own one!
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Sabotage everyone else and
not even give yourself the fight -
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00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,740
who does that?!
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00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,140
That's like winning the 100 metres,
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tripping everyone up
and then picking someone,
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00:05:47,420 --> 00:05:48,980
throwing them over the finish line.
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00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:51,980
Not everyone's as dysfunctionally
competitive as you, Iain.
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00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,940
Oh! Well, I wasn't,
until bloody you came along.
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I like it when real rows start.
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00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:57,460
I know you do.
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00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,140
Yeah, and do you know
what I'm going to do,
131
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,980
just to pour petrol on the fire?
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I'm going to put them both last!
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00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:06,060
{\an1}LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
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{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:11,700
OK, so, Iain and Paul,
both with 1 point.
136
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:14,020
Yeah, that's right,
and I'm standing by it.
137
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:16,620
And I don't mind telling you,
I feel a bit giddy!
138
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:20,300
And get this, I'm not going to
give anyone 2 points -
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00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,900
I'm going to jump up
to 3 points.
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00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:22,940
Oh, no!
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00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:25,100
And I'm going to give the next one -
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because I know doctors
like getting drunk,
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you've established that...
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Yes, that's why
I should be above him!
145
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,460
Yeah, well, I would have
given you an extra 2 points
146
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,740
if you'd put some lovely
herbs in it. Thank you!
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00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:35,780
3 points to Lou.
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00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:37,220
And I'm putting Joe...
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00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:39,100
I'm giving him 4 points...
For the BMX?
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00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:41,380
Best. ..because I want to
go on a BMX.
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00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:44,180
I don't think Joe's ever been on
a BMX. I don't know what a BMX is.
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So I'm going to give him 4 points.
4 points to Joe. And the winner?
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00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,980
Who doesn't like a lovely badge
saying, You've been a good boy"?
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00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,020
Sian Gibson!
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00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:52,860
{\an1}CHEERING
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Whoo!
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Here we go then.
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Do you want the first task? Yeah.
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OK, here we go. This one
is Absolutely Toilet. Get ready.
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Hi. Hello, Sian. Hello.
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00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:18,460
Here we are.
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00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,700
Hiya. Do you mind doing that wave
again? Oh, absolutely, yeah.
163
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Just cos I didn't understand it.
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Oh, OK. It was just a simple wave.
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Just... Hello!
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"Get this loo roll
through the toilet seat."
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00:07:33,260 --> 00:07:35,820
"You may not lower the toilet seat."
168
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Oh! There's the toilet seat.
"Fastest wins."
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"Time starts now."
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The...what?
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What toilet seat?
172
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,300
What am I missing?
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Is this a search for a toilet seat?
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{\an1}APPLAUSE
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'Fairly straightforward.
I think we should get on
with it. Crack on with it?
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00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:05,620
OK, just get the loo roll
through the toilet seat, that's it.
177
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:08,700
Yes, please. We all saw it.
Here's Paul and Iain.
178
00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:10,900
"Get this loo roll
through the toilet seat.
179
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,540
"You may not lower
the toilet seat."
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00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:16,220
Lower? I can't lower it at all?
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That's what it says.
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Oh!
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Oh! What an idiot.
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00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:21,740
Get this loo ROLL.
185
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,340
Oh, you stupid idiot.
186
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,660
What are you doing, Iain?
187
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,900
Getting the loo roll
for the toilet seat. OK.
188
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,940
There's a toilet seat inside.
189
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:33,340
OK. Am I allowed to use that?
190
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,020
All the information's on the task.
191
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,300
This is the toilet paper. Right.
192
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:43,780
The loo roll's this thing, isn't it?
193
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:46,100
This is the loo roll.
194
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:47,580
OK, Iain.
195
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:48,660
What are you doing, Paul?
196
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,540
I'm getting the loo roll
through the toilet seat
197
00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:54,180
without lowering the toilet seat.
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00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,620
Through the toilet seat.
199
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,460
Boom. Done. OK. Thank you, Iain.
200
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,220
'"Get the loo roll..."
I don't know...
I'm going to stick with this.
201
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:04,460
This is a loo roll and
it's through the toilet seat.
202
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:11,860
This just reminds me
of being at school.
203
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:17,260
HE SIGHS
Thank you, Paul.
204
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,740
Thank you.
205
00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:21,620
{\an1}APPLAUSE
206
00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:24,540
Can I just say very quickly,
207
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,740
Paul put the paper
through the toilet seat,
208
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:30,460
which was the only bit that
Iain said wasn't the loo roll.
209
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:33,820
Well, you say that he put the paper
through the toilet seat, but did he?
210
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:34,980
Yes.
211
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:38,180
Because what I saw was a man
painstakingly pushing loo roll
212
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:39,340
behind a toilet seat.
213
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,060
SIAN: Oh, yeah!
214
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,260
And you said halfway through -
I wrote this one down -
215
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,220
"It reminds me of school."
216
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,500
{\an1}LAUGHTER
217
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:53,660
Detention was very unusual
punishment at school.
218
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,180
I sort of think of the toilet roll
as the whole thing, do you?
219
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:59,260
Yeah, cos it is. No! No...
220
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,820
Oh.. We are not. Oh, ho-ho.
221
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,380
Oh, ho-ho!
222
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:05,540
Because there's the roll... Yeah.
223
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:09,500
'If you said, "Can you nip out
and get some loo roll?" and you
came back with a load of those...?
224
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:12,860
{\an1}LAUGHTER
I would go... "Thank you very much."
225
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,540
APPLAUSE
Yeah... Hey...
226
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:18,140
I would apologise for not
using the correct terminology.
227
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,820
OK. And I would use those cardboard
rolls to wipe my bum as a protest.
228
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:24,420
Look, we'll unravel this afterwards.
229
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,780
OK. So to speak!
230
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:29,260
Right, it's the end
of Part One, my friends.
231
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,660
Do with it what you will, and
we'll see you in Part Two. Bye-bye.
232
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,780
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
233
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,420
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
234
00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:46,700
Hello! Welcome back
to Part Two of Taskmaster.
235
00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:49,260
Alex, you look like
you've been a very naughty boy.
236
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,780
Yes, Greg, I'm afraid to say
that, before the break,
237
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:54,780
I left the toilet seat
up in the air in the garden.
238
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,980
The task at hand is simply
239
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:58,180
to get the toilet roll
through the toilet seat.
240
00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:01,180
Iain and Paul got their hands dirty
with the indoor toilet,
241
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,540
how will the rest do?
242
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,220
We're going to see
all three right now.
243
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,500
Ah.
244
00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:10,100
I see. Right, here we go.
245
00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:13,980
Well, even if I stand on that,
I'm not going to reach that. No.
246
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,500
I might be closer.
247
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,500
You'll have to help me!
248
00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:18,780
Easy!
249
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:19,980
So easy.
250
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,380
Argh!
251
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:28,900
OK.
252
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,500
The end? Right.
253
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:32,540
Right through.
254
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,140
That's unlucky.
255
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:41,700
Oh, my God, I'm like
a bad Carry On film.
256
00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:43,700
Is this on a timer you say?
257
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:46,380
Yeah, fastest wins, this one. OK.
258
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,540
Here we go.
259
00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:53,060
Ooh. Careful.
260
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,420
OK, I'm one step closer.
261
00:11:58,020 --> 00:11:59,540
Up we go. Thank you.
262
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:00,580
Here we go.
263
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,380
Thank you.
264
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:06,340
{\an1}APPLAUSE
265
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,500
{\an1}APPLAUSE
266
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:11,420
Sweet.
267
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,340
Right.
268
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,380
Watch your eyes.
269
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,620
Ohh...
270
00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:20,820
Oh, god.
271
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:22,060
OK.
272
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,100
{\an1}APPLAUSE
273
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,380
It went through! Yes.
274
00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:31,260
Does that count? Yes, I've
stopped the clock, it went through.
275
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,940
OK. Which way now?
We're doing that again.
276
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,740
{\an1}APPLAUSE
277
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:40,380
Successful. Really successful.
278
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,380
Lou didn't get
all of the paper through,
279
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:45,180
and I'll come on to my definition
of a toilet roll in a minute.
280
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:46,860
Right. The strands fell off.
281
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,140
Strands fell away.
Strips and strands.
282
00:12:49,180 --> 00:12:51,100
I don't think anyone
got the whole roll through.
283
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,100
One man did. One man did.
284
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,700
Everyone... Everyone did.
Everyone did, apart from Paul.
285
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:58,060
{\an1}LAUGHTER
286
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,340
The supple Joe Thomas
got his whole roll through.
287
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,500
He's so supple!
288
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,340
Let me just say
what I'm going to do.
289
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:05,940
I'm not going to
get into a discussion
290
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:07,620
about what constitutes
a toilet roll.
291
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:10,940
My feeling is that it was implicit
292
00:13:10,980 --> 00:13:13,380
that the whole thing
should go through,
293
00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:16,820
both the cardboard tube
and the surrounding paper.
294
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:19,100
But, Iain...
LAUGHTER
295
00:13:19,140 --> 00:13:20,500
..what I will say is this -
296
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:23,660
anyone who got the whole lot
through the toilet seat,
297
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,340
I'm going to give a bonus point to.
298
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,940
Right. Well, that is
just Joe Thomas.
299
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:30,580
He is the only man who got it
through - and the only woman.
300
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,900
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
301
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:35,540
That's fair. But in terms of
the timings, Paul was the slowest,
302
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:36,820
with 13 minutes.
303
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:38,700
1 point to Paul.
Sian got 5 minutes. Yep.
304
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:41,540
2 points. Right. Joe Thomas...
305
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,700
1 minute and 38 seconds.
306
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,580
But a bonus point - so, 4 points.
307
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,500
Lou, 1 minute and 19 seconds -
4 points.
308
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:51,580
Iain was the quickest,
with his 1 minute and 4 seconds.
309
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:54,420
There we go - controversial, but
that's it. Iain gets the 5 points.
310
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:56,860
{\an1}APPLAUSE
311
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,660
Right, scoreboard update,
please, Alex.
312
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,660
Unfortunately, Paul is adrift
with 2 points.
313
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,700
But in the lead, we have
Joe Thomas, with 8 points!
314
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:06,020
{\an1}APPLAUSE
315
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,500
And the series scoreboard -
I'll quickly run you through that.
316
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:12,620
At the top we have Lou with 67,
then Iain with 56, Sian with 55,
317
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:15,020
Joe with 50, and Paul, 42.
318
00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:16,500
{\an1}APPLAUSE
319
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:18,780
Do you have another task
lined up, Alex? Yes, I do.
320
00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,660
And this one is
Extremely Childish. Ohh!
321
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:37,540
Hello. Hello, Paul Sinha.
322
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:40,420
Potty.
323
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,700
If you need it.
324
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:45,380
OK, "Make the best thing
to engage a toddler".
325
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:48,540
"The toddler will have
five minutes with your thing."
326
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:50,260
"Most engaged toddler wins."
327
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,700
"You have 30 minutes."
328
00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:54,420
"Your time starts now."
329
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:57,620
Like the pan.
Which pan's that, Paul?
330
00:14:57,660 --> 00:15:00,060
"Engaged" - meaning
"on the toilet". Oh.
331
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,700
Thanks, Paul.
332
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:04,940
OK. I'm going to go
and have a little root around,
333
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,100
see what I can find. OK.
334
00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:07,380
See you in a minute.
335
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:08,580
Hello.
336
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,380
Oh, you've got freckles.
337
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,940
So... Yeah.
338
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,500
Where am I engaging the toddler?
339
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,220
The toddler will go into a room
and find your thing.
340
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:24,020
What age is a toddler? Cos this
might be a bit too heavy-handed.
341
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,060
Just making it comfy.
342
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:30,820
That's cute.
343
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:32,300
Do you think that looks sinister?
344
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:35,740
If I was a child
and I got this on my hands,
345
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:38,300
I think I'd be quite distressed,
I'd want to get it off.
346
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:41,460
100% of this is attached to my hand!
347
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,980
What rhymes with ducky?
348
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,020
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
349
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,620
Not that!
350
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,420
Hello, Alex. You've been
out the room for 25 minutes.
351
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:52,780
Has it been that long?
352
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,340
Wow, doesn't time fly?
353
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,780
Let's march!
354
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,380
Kick, kick!
355
00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,820
Move to the side.
356
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,300
Move to the side.
357
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:02,860
D'you know what it needs?
358
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,100
A tongue.
359
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,860
Tastebuds. Tastebuds?
360
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,340
All toddlers like baths
and bath toys,
361
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,780
and so a family of duck chicks
362
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:15,100
is under attack from
a vicious thresher shark.
363
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:17,940
But to fully engage a toddler,
364
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:20,060
you need audio stimulation, so...
365
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,940
{\an1}PHONE PLAYS DUCK SOUNDS
366
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,660
Bubbles, duck, shark, quacking.
367
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,020
But it's not just ducks,
368
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,300
it's the existential terror
of a mother duck
369
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:31,340
having her brood taken away from her
by predatory, bloodthirsty fish.
370
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:33,860
I will make that clear for
the toddler. Thank you, Paul.
371
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,460
Thank you.
372
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,220
{\an1}APPLAUSE
373
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,460
Good. Well, I'll just
answer a quick question.
374
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,500
Is hanging a rubber duck
by its neck sinister?
375
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:45,420
Yes, it is. That is sinister.
376
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,540
Now, you wouldn't mind me saying
377
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:50,460
that you are the only
mum of the contestants.
378
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,980
So I better do well. Yeah. Yeah.
379
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,500
Gut instinct tells me,
380
00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:57,860
do they want a pretty princess
with freckles, dancing,
381
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:01,540
or do they want the existential
terror of a shark attack...?
382
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:03,380
{\an1}LAUGHTER
383
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,140
OK, we're going to see them one
by one, if that's all right, Greg?
384
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:08,460
Yes, please. We're going to
start off with Joe Thomas,
385
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:12,100
who made a squishy toy,
which he has called Joe Dough.
386
00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:14,180
{\an1}LAUGHTER
387
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,140
Hello, Alex.
388
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,380
Hello, Nel.
389
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,420
Come in.
390
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,180
Joe put that there for you.
391
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,020
{\an1}LAUGHTER
392
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,820
{\an1}SHE GIGGLES
393
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:40,380
Are you going to touch the red one
as well, Nel? Yeah. Yeah?
394
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,820
Do you want to pick one up?
395
00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:47,060
That one.
396
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,820
Which one - the blue one?
397
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:49,900
That one.
398
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,140
That one. Do you want me
to get that out? Yes. OK.
399
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,340
It's called Joe Dough.
400
00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:05,260
Can you say "Joe Dough"?
401
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,300
{\an8}Joe Dough. Joe Dough. That's right.
402
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:08,780
{\an8}Is Joe Dough good?
403
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,300
{\an8}Joe Dough's good.
404
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,580
{\an8}Joe Dough's good. OK.
405
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:12,740
{\an8}How good?
406
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,540
{\an8}1, 2, 3, 4 or 5?
407
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:17,380
{\an8}5. 5.
408
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,140
What do you like about it, Nel?
409
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,180
{\an1}That one... That one there's...
SHE MUMBLES
410
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:25,660
{\an8}Hmm. OK. Thank you. Good bye.
411
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,380
Bye-bye.
412
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:29,420
Bye-bye.
413
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,100
{\an1}APPLAUSE
414
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:37,700
Aw, it's the sweetest thing
we've ever done.
415
00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:40,540
Joe, pleased with that?
416
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,860
Yeah, she seemed pretty happy.
417
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:44,780
Yeah. I don't know whether that was
really connected to the dough.
418
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:47,420
I think she was just a happy child.
419
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,700
The truth is I think that she was
fully engaged with your Joe Dough.
420
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:55,780
OK. I think... You know, I've often
seen you, during this series,
421
00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:57,940
look like there's
nothing to live for,
422
00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:01,180
and I think, surely,
you must take some...
423
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,620
That's actually...
424
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,020
I was very pleased that she sort of
seemed to be a bit diverted by it.
425
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,100
She did. Yeah. Who's next?
426
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,500
{\an1}LAUGHTER
427
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,140
OK, next we're going to see
428
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:14,100
children's TV star
Iain Stirling's creation.
429
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,300
Ooh, the pressure's on.
430
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:18,620
Here's how our toddler got on
with his puppet, called Claire.
431
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:24,260
Hello. Hello, Nel.
432
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,700
Do you want to come in?
433
00:19:26,940 --> 00:19:29,580
Hello, my name's Claire.
434
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,340
Be engaged.
435
00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:36,860
Hello! I'm Claire.
436
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,500
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
437
00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,380
Do you want to give me a high-five?
438
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:41,420
Yeah.
439
00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:43,660
Cool.
440
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,940
Again. Again? Yeah. Really?
441
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:52,580
Hello! Hello. My name's Claire!
442
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:54,140
My name's Claire.
443
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:55,460
Are you engaged?
444
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,940
Yeah?
445
00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:59,300
My name's Claire. Be engaged!
446
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:03,700
You got the bubble wrap? Yeah.
447
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:05,180
Goodbye, Nel.
448
00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:07,660
{\an1}SHE MUMBLES
449
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:08,980
Bye-bye.
450
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,500
{\an1}APPLAUSE
451
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:16,820
I wonder if I walked passed Claire
452
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:19,580
and someone hadn't said to me,
"There's Claire, the puppet",
453
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,980
whether I would've just thought
it was a load of old rubbish
454
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,420
and just kicked it...
455
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,420
But, with Alex's help,
the toddler was engaged.
456
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,540
They were all part of Claire -
457
00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:31,580
the instructions, what I did,
was all part of...
458
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:34,700
High-five. Did he say,
"Give her a high-five"? Yeah.
459
00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:37,700
He definitely did. Well, he provided
a fly swat to do the high-five.
460
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,900
And he said, "Allow the child
to rip the arm off?"
461
00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:42,500
I did wrap Claire
in the bubble wrappy thing...
462
00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:44,700
Bubble wrap. Bubble wrap -
that's the word.
463
00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:46,940
Deliberate - because
you wanted some tactile?
464
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:49,700
Because kids love that, don't they?
Chugga-chugga-chib. Yeah.
465
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:51,980
That's what toddlers...
"Chugga-chugga-chib".
466
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,900
Beatboxing again. Bebop.
Yeah, all right, Iain.
467
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:56,060
Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't bad.
468
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,980
It looked like a pile of old rubbish
but it did engage the child. Yes.
469
00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:02,220
And that takes us to the halfway
point in tonight's show.
470
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,980
You have adverts for
your half-time entertainment,
471
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:07,980
and we have Alex Horne
belly-dancing.
472
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,740
Take it away, Alex!
473
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:11,020
And we'll see you soon.
474
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:13,540
{\an1}BHANGRA MUSIC PLAYS
475
00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:24,580
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
476
00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:26,580
Hello. Thank you, Adverts.
477
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:29,300
I really should buy
some of those products.
478
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:31,020
Alex, wasn't there a new person
479
00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:32,660
involved in the task
before the break?
480
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:34,900
Someone about your height?
481
00:21:36,140 --> 00:21:37,140
There is a new person
482
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:40,220
but she is substantially smaller
than me because I am a tall man.
483
00:21:40,260 --> 00:21:43,900
But, yes, there is a toddler
trying out the engaging things
484
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:45,420
our contestants have made for her.
485
00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:49,140
And this time it's
Fairy Sian's workout video.
486
00:21:49,180 --> 00:21:50,860
Hello.
487
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:52,100
Oh, hello.
488
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:53,460
'Kick, kick!'
489
00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:58,100
'And we're going to clap our hands.'
That's Fairy Sian.
490
00:21:58,140 --> 00:21:59,420
Do you want to do what she says?
491
00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:01,860
'Clap, clap, clap, clap!'
492
00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:04,700
Again. Again?
493
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:05,820
OK.
494
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:07,260
'Let's march.'
495
00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:11,780
Again.
496
00:22:11,820 --> 00:22:13,580
Are you going to do
what she says? Yes.
497
00:22:13,620 --> 00:22:16,540
'Feel that stretch, guys.
Feel that stretch.
498
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,140
'Stretch those fingers.'
499
00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:20,860
What would you give
Fairy Sian out of 5?
500
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:22,420
1, 2, 3, 4 or 5?
501
00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:24,620
Again. Again?
502
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:25,820
We've heard it enough.
503
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:29,620
Nel? 3?
504
00:22:29,660 --> 00:22:31,260
Yeah.
505
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:34,180
Yeah.
'OK, let's march!'
506
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:35,380
Goodbye.
507
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:39,660
{\an1}APPLAUSE
508
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:41,820
Still watching.
509
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:45,420
In the one clip we saw,
you did look maybe a bit pissed.
510
00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:49,380
But that was engagement, wasn't it?
511
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:52,940
I mean, your immediate instinct
was put an iPad in there. Yeah.
512
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:54,460
And she was fully engaged.
513
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:57,220
Good mother, you see. She took it
with her. Give a child an iPad.
514
00:22:57,260 --> 00:23:00,500
Yeah. Drunk dancing princess - tick.
515
00:23:00,540 --> 00:23:03,820
Great, who's next?
OK. It's lucky-ducky time.
516
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:05,100
Lou Sanders. Oh, god!
517
00:23:12,020 --> 00:23:13,180
Hello, Nel.
518
00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:16,980
You could use that if you want.
519
00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:18,500
You going to hit the duck?
520
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:20,180
LOU: # Hit the ducky, hit the ducky
521
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:21,620
# Hit the ducky on the head... #
522
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:25,500
What's that noise?
523
00:23:25,540 --> 00:23:28,100
That's the noise
of the Lucky Ducky song.
524
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:30,540
# Hit the ducky, hit the ducky
525
00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:33,100
# Hit the ducky on the head... #
526
00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:36,220
Oh. You've opened it.
527
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:39,420
# Hit the ducky
Hit the ducky on the head... #
528
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,380
That's the end of the song.
529
00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:46,180
{\an1}SHE MUMBLES
530
00:23:47,780 --> 00:23:49,500
OK. Can I have
the mallet back, please?
531
00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:53,020
Goodbye.
532
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:54,540
{\an1}SHE MUMBLES
533
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:55,620
Mm.
534
00:23:57,580 --> 00:23:58,900
Bye, Ducky!
535
00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:00,340
Bye, Ducky! Bye-bye.
536
00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:04,660
{\an1}APPLAUSE
537
00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:07,700
It never occurred to me
I'd have to make a moral judgment.
538
00:24:07,740 --> 00:24:09,580
I mean, the child was engaged.
539
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:14,180
The child was engaged in
hitting an animal with a hammer.
540
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:16,260
# Hit the ducky on the head! #
541
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:20,340
Also, there were sweets inside.
I don't think you really guided her.
542
00:24:20,380 --> 00:24:21,820
It was supposed to be like a pinata.
543
00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:23,500
Although you call it a "Pinochet".
544
00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:24,620
Oh, yeah.
545
00:24:24,660 --> 00:24:27,500
{\an1}LAUGHTER
546
00:24:27,540 --> 00:24:30,260
Because I'm French... Half-French.
547
00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:33,580
She enjoyed hitting the ducky, but,
yeah, she didn't spot the sweets
548
00:24:33,620 --> 00:24:36,140
cos I don't think there was
anything guiding her to it.
549
00:24:36,180 --> 00:24:38,900
She did look in at the sweets at
the end. Yeah. And then she thought,
550
00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:41,700
"I don't want to be
part of any of this. "
551
00:24:41,740 --> 00:24:44,300
"Part of the butchery of
this wild..." She didn't think...
552
00:24:44,340 --> 00:24:48,140
'She didn't think she was allowed
sweets, cos she looked in
and hinted and went, "Oh, sweets!"
553
00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:49,660
and then Alex went, "Bye, Nel."
554
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,220
{\an1}LAUGHTER
555
00:24:51,260 --> 00:24:54,140
But the point is,
she had a lovely time
556
00:24:54,180 --> 00:24:56,100
and she didn't even have any sweets.
557
00:24:56,140 --> 00:24:58,420
Finally, then, we've got
one more person to see. Yup.
558
00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:01,260
It's time for Paul's
baking-tray ecosystem.
559
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,500
{\an1}AUDIO RECORDING OF DUCKS PLAYS
560
00:25:03,540 --> 00:25:04,900
Hello, Nel.
561
00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:11,140
Oh, no!
562
00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:13,580
Messy.
563
00:25:13,620 --> 00:25:16,820
It is a bit messy.
The threshing shark has fallen out.
564
00:25:16,860 --> 00:25:18,620
oh, no, look.
565
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,580
Yes, the ecosystem has deteriorated.
566
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,900
Do you want to put them
all back in the ecosystem?
567
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:24,380
Yeah. OK.
568
00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:34,060
Mummy and Daddy.
569
00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:35,340
There's Mummy and Daddy.
570
00:25:35,380 --> 00:25:37,900
Mummy. Mummy? OK.
571
00:25:37,940 --> 00:25:40,020
Mummy, Daddy and
the threshing shark.
572
00:25:40,060 --> 00:25:41,780
Do you like the duck ecosystem?
573
00:25:41,820 --> 00:25:45,780
Yeah. Do you think it's just some
plastic ducks in a baking tray?
574
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:48,140
Yeah. Hmm.
575
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:49,740
What would you give it out of 5?
576
00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:51,860
5. 5. OK.
577
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,420
Thank you, Nel. Goodbye.
578
00:25:54,460 --> 00:25:55,700
Quack-quack!
579
00:25:55,740 --> 00:25:58,100
OK, Nel, you can go now.
580
00:25:58,140 --> 00:26:00,860
No go. Do you want to
stay here forever?
581
00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:04,020
Yeah. With the ducks
and the threshing shark?
582
00:26:04,060 --> 00:26:05,500
Shall I go?
583
00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:06,540
Yeah. OK.
584
00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:08,940
Goodbye.
585
00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:11,940
{\an1}APPLAUSE
586
00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:20,660
I'm not sure that Nel was
100% on top of your narrative.
587
00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:24,580
She didn't seem perturbed
by the thresh-ER shark.
588
00:26:24,620 --> 00:26:25,820
Sorry, Paul. Sorry, Paul.
589
00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:28,420
She knows a thresher shark
when she sees one, she's not a fool.
590
00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:31,900
But she had maternalistic
instincts towards the duck.
591
00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:35,180
Yes. I think she's
a David Attenborough in disguise.
592
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:38,580
'Only but five minutes ago
she'd been smashing one
round the head with a mallet.
593
00:26:38,620 --> 00:26:41,100
{\an1}LAUGHTER
594
00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:43,980
Just shows how you can re-educate
a young mind like that, isn't it?
595
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:47,020
Be afraid of the shark -
don't attack the duck.
596
00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:49,660
She seemed engaged.
She was fully engaged, Paul.
597
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:52,420
I'm absolutely gobsmacked.
598
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:54,300
OK. Here we go.
Are you ready for some points?
599
00:26:54,340 --> 00:26:55,700
Yes, I'm ready for some points.
600
00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:58,100
I'm not going to
give anyone 1 point,
601
00:26:58,140 --> 00:27:00,020
because I thought
they were all very good.
602
00:27:00,060 --> 00:27:01,940
I'm not going to
give anyone 2 points
603
00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:03,940
because I think they were
all better than that.
604
00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:05,980
Are you going to
give anyone 3 points? Yes.
605
00:27:06,020 --> 00:27:07,060
Oh, right. OK.
606
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:09,460
Purely based on my gut instinct
607
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:12,180
about which thing
engaged the child the most,
608
00:27:12,220 --> 00:27:14,340
I'm going to give Lou 3 points,
609
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,140
Iain and Joe 4 points,
610
00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:18,940
Sian and Paul - unbelievably -
5 points.
611
00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:19,980
There we go.
612
00:27:20,020 --> 00:27:22,220
{\an1}APPLAUSE
613
00:27:24,260 --> 00:27:27,740
More! I want more!
And you're going to give me more.
614
00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:28,980
I am, and you love ham.
615
00:27:29,020 --> 00:27:31,180
You love ham hock,
you like haddock -
616
00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:32,740
so I'm giving you a hammock!
617
00:27:32,780 --> 00:27:33,860
Here we go.
618
00:27:58,740 --> 00:27:59,820
{\an1}DOOR OPENS
619
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:00,900
JOE: OK.
620
00:28:02,420 --> 00:28:03,460
SIAN: Good luck.
621
00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:04,540
IAIN: Come on.
622
00:28:05,740 --> 00:28:06,980
LOU: Ow!
623
00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:08,700
"Put the most weight in the hammock
624
00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:11,020
"without anything
falling out of the hammock."
625
00:28:11,060 --> 00:28:14,340
"If anything falls out of the
hammock, you're disqualified.
626
00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:16,500
"Most weight in the hammock
after ten minutes wins."
627
00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:19,060
Right. Put stuff in, but then
we all... Last line, please, Lou.
628
00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:20,940
Huh? Last line.
Yeah, "your time starts now".
629
00:28:20,980 --> 00:28:21,980
Thank you. Let's go.
630
00:28:22,020 --> 00:28:24,420
Shall we discuss it before we say,
"Your time starts now"?
631
00:28:24,460 --> 00:28:27,380
Oh, you've just said, "Your time
starts now". I've started the clock.
632
00:28:27,420 --> 00:28:28,900
Oh, well. Well, time starts now.
633
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:31,180
{\an1}APPLAUSE
634
00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:35,380
Very good. Pretty straightforward?
Yeah, most weight in the hammock.
635
00:28:35,420 --> 00:28:38,060
If anything falls out the hammock,
you're disqualified. Simple.
636
00:28:38,100 --> 00:28:39,700
OK, first of all,
the team of three -
637
00:28:39,740 --> 00:28:40,980
Lou, Paul and Iain.
638
00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:44,500
And I was just thinking - isn't it
nice when people just get along.
639
00:28:44,540 --> 00:28:47,140
This is the obvious choice! Wait,
wait, wait! Get this in first.
640
00:28:47,180 --> 00:28:49,020
Game plan. We've got ten minutes.
641
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:52,540
No, but if it falls out of the
hammock... Put this underneath it.
642
00:28:52,580 --> 00:28:54,740
No! Wait, wait, wait.
Just calm down.
643
00:28:54,780 --> 00:28:57,540
We're going to put this under the
hammock to support the hammock.
644
00:28:57,580 --> 00:29:00,460
OK. How is that going to
stop stuff falling out?
645
00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:02,540
I'm quietly confident actually!
646
00:29:02,580 --> 00:29:06,140
Iain, how is that going to stop
things falling out of the hammock?
647
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:07,780
It isn't.
648
00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:10,220
It isn't. Right.
649
00:29:10,260 --> 00:29:12,420
Right, shall we get some stuff?
Heavy stuff? Hang on.
650
00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,380
Wait, wait, wait.
How much do you weigh? Iain!
651
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,420
What does that matter?
652
00:29:15,460 --> 00:29:18,220
Because we all get in the hammock -
it's obvious. But why do we...?
653
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:20,300
We get in, we get
the stuff in the hammock.
654
00:29:20,340 --> 00:29:22,620
We are heavier than
anything we can find.
655
00:29:22,660 --> 00:29:23,940
But we can hold that as well.
656
00:29:23,980 --> 00:29:26,900
Because it'll fall out
and then we'll be disqualified.
657
00:29:26,940 --> 00:29:30,740
Don't get in it, don't get in it!
What do you want me to do then?
658
00:29:30,780 --> 00:29:33,940
Just calm down. I went to get
some stuff and you said... Paul!
659
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:36,100
..to come and get in the hammock.
So what do I do?
660
00:29:36,140 --> 00:29:37,780
Can we just have a meeting, please.
661
00:29:37,820 --> 00:29:39,700
I was just going to
get some heavy stuff!
662
00:29:39,740 --> 00:29:41,980
We can bring it here
and then make a plan.
663
00:29:42,020 --> 00:29:45,020
Look, we're going to weigh more than
things, that's all I'm thinking.
664
00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:47,820
Do you think we can fit three people
and heavy stuff on the hammock?
665
00:29:47,860 --> 00:29:49,980
I don't think we could fit three,
we could try two.
666
00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:53,220
'If we've got the people
and the heavy hammock, we can
come to that conclusion.
667
00:29:53,260 --> 00:29:57,580
'We need someone to bring... No point
hypothetically thinking of that
thing now, with nothing around us.
668
00:29:57,620 --> 00:29:59,460
I'm going to go and
get some heavy stuff. OK.
669
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:02,100
That's quite heavy.
Yes. It's good, isn't it?
670
00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:05,740
Get some bricks. OK. There you go.
671
00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:09,500
I'd like to apologise
for my behaviour.
672
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,300
I just thought we shouldn't panic.
673
00:30:11,340 --> 00:30:15,860
I agree. Which is why I suggested
doing all of this seven minutes ago.
674
00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:18,980
OK. Do you want to
pop in your position, babe?
675
00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:21,300
Right, I'm getting in.
Lou - you hold me steady.
676
00:30:21,340 --> 00:30:23,860
Paul - start loading in things.
677
00:30:23,900 --> 00:30:27,060
Lower it. Oh, that is heavy.
678
00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:29,780
Ohh, that is heavy! One minute left.
Maybe bowling ball?
679
00:30:29,820 --> 00:30:32,580
We've probably not got enough
heavy stuff. Should have got more.
680
00:30:32,620 --> 00:30:35,700
And now you're not... Your job was
quite literally to hold the hammock.
681
00:30:35,740 --> 00:30:37,380
Now there's no-one
holding the hammock.
682
00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:39,380
Literally nobody
holding the hammock.
683
00:30:39,420 --> 00:30:41,460
Don't worry, baby,
I'm here for you. 35 seconds.
684
00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:44,660
Maybe go and get some lighter stuff.
Hold me steady, Paul. I'm going.
685
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:45,900
Yeah, go on, chuck it in.
686
00:30:45,940 --> 00:30:47,500
Maybe don't put it
all in the one side.
687
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:50,140
'Don't put it all
in the one side, Lou!
WHISTLE
688
00:30:50,180 --> 00:30:51,260
Thank you, guys.
689
00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:55,940
{\an1}APPLAUSE
690
00:30:57,020 --> 00:30:58,780
Such a little bossy-boots,
aren't you?
691
00:30:58,820 --> 00:31:02,220
That... That wasn't pleasant
for me to watch.
692
00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:07,260
It's not all about fun,
so let's drill down into it.
693
00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:10,060
We had spent a good seven minutes...
694
00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:12,700
Not seven, that's the number
you made up.
695
00:31:13,820 --> 00:31:15,620
You said that
in quite a petulant manner.
696
00:31:15,660 --> 00:31:18,700
"Yes, that's why I suggested it -
seven minutes."
697
00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:20,540
Yeah. So...
698
00:31:20,580 --> 00:31:23,900
Thank God Daddy was there,
watching on from behind a barrel.
699
00:31:23,940 --> 00:31:26,540
{\an1}LAUGHTER
700
00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:31,380
In my defence,
I came up with the idea
701
00:31:31,420 --> 00:31:34,260
that we had to put the things
on the hammock in the last minute
702
00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:35,900
otherwise they would fall out.
703
00:31:35,940 --> 00:31:37,180
If it wasn't for Paul Sinha,
704
00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:40,100
it would have been me and Lou in
a hammock, screaming at each other.
705
00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:43,260
Just how I like it.
706
00:31:45,020 --> 00:31:48,980
'You actually did that thing that
small children do at one point,
and went, "Please-ah!"
707
00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:53,460
That has upset me no end.
708
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:56,180
That is a horrible insight.
709
00:31:56,220 --> 00:31:58,220
Well, you know, as the barrel dad
will tell you,
710
00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:00,300
these kids have got to
make their own mistakes.
711
00:32:00,340 --> 00:32:03,180
'Do you want to give me
some stats or something?
Yeah, well, they got a lot in.
712
00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:06,460
'At the end of the ten minutes,
they had nine bricks,
a wooden column, an olive press,
713
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:08,980
a bowling ball, a jerrycan,
a watering can, two plastic trays,
714
00:32:09,020 --> 00:32:10,900
a steel drum, three books
and an Iain Stirling.
715
00:32:10,940 --> 00:32:13,060
So that's 89.1kg,
which is 14 stone,
716
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:14,980
which is an Alex Horne,
or three Dalmatians,
717
00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,260
or two toilets or a reindeer.
718
00:32:17,380 --> 00:32:21,180
81kg? 89.1kg plus an Iain Stirling -
I don't know how much Iain weighs.
719
00:32:21,220 --> 00:32:22,540
Oh, you haven't found that out?
720
00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:24,740
No. It's hard to
sneakily weigh people.
721
00:32:26,420 --> 00:32:30,300
Only one more part to go until
someone wins a BMX and a fake beard.
722
00:32:30,340 --> 00:32:32,460
See that happen in Part Four!
723
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:35,580
{\an1}APPLAUSE
724
00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:43,180
{\an1}APPLAUSE
725
00:32:43,220 --> 00:32:46,140
Hello, and welcome back to
the last part of the show.
726
00:32:46,180 --> 00:32:48,380
Weren't we in the midst
of a team task?
727
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:50,460
Yes, and we're breaking
new boundaries,
728
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:53,020
{\an1}because this one involves a hammock.
GREG GASPS
729
00:32:53,060 --> 00:32:56,220
Now it's time for Mrs G and Mr T.
730
00:32:56,260 --> 00:32:57,580
The bath? Oh, get the bath.
731
00:32:57,620 --> 00:32:59,820
{\an8}I assume it's going to be
unloaded and weighed.
732
00:32:59,860 --> 00:33:02,580
{\an8}Is that going to happen?
That's not going to happen.
733
00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:03,940
{\an8}That's not going to happen.
734
00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:05,060
Ohh!
735
00:33:06,020 --> 00:33:08,540
I think it might break the hammock.
736
00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:10,100
I think this might
break the hammock.
737
00:33:10,140 --> 00:33:11,620
Shall we get that out? Yeah.
738
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,380
Hold on a minute...
739
00:33:14,420 --> 00:33:16,820
Are we...?
Can't we unplug the hammock
740
00:33:16,860 --> 00:33:19,500
and just put the hammock
flat on the floor...
741
00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:21,220
Ha-ha-ha! I like... This is...
742
00:33:21,260 --> 00:33:23,500
Got it off? Yeah. Right. Good.
743
00:33:23,540 --> 00:33:25,260
Round the arc. Yeah.
744
00:33:25,300 --> 00:33:27,140
So you're saying that bath
is in the hammock?
745
00:33:27,180 --> 00:33:28,180
Yep. Yeah.
746
00:33:31,900 --> 00:33:34,620
Two of them. Two of them.
747
00:33:34,660 --> 00:33:36,060
Oh, Joe!
748
00:33:36,100 --> 00:33:38,300
Oh, were we putting that
in the hammock?
749
00:33:38,340 --> 00:33:41,820
'In a way, I think that strengthens
our argument that it's still
a hammock, actually.
750
00:33:41,860 --> 00:33:42,860
Hammock in the hammock.
751
00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:44,540
It is touching the ground
as well, but...
752
00:33:44,580 --> 00:33:47,020
Well, it was touching the ground
when it was a hammock.
753
00:33:47,060 --> 00:33:49,820
It was touching the ground
before. Barrel in.
754
00:33:49,860 --> 00:33:52,380
I'm just going to
handle this... Yes, OK.
755
00:33:52,420 --> 00:33:54,740
There's a tyre. Tyre - that'll do.
756
00:33:54,780 --> 00:33:56,020
Good.
757
00:33:57,020 --> 00:33:58,500
OK. Ta-da.
758
00:33:59,420 --> 00:34:00,580
{\an1}HE BLOWS WHISTLE
759
00:34:00,620 --> 00:34:02,340
Brilliant. Thanks, guys.
760
00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:04,260
Thank you.
I'll weigh everything now.
761
00:34:05,180 --> 00:34:06,580
I think we did all right there.
762
00:34:07,820 --> 00:34:09,740
{\an1}APPLAUSE
763
00:34:09,780 --> 00:34:12,580
There was certainly some lovely,
friendly behaviour going on there,
764
00:34:12,620 --> 00:34:14,300
which is to be commended.
765
00:34:14,340 --> 00:34:17,740
Teamwork. Yeah. Now, was there
anything in a hammock there?
766
00:34:17,780 --> 00:34:19,180
Everything.
767
00:34:19,220 --> 00:34:21,860
What's the difference
between "on" and "in"? Well...
768
00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:23,100
Nothing.
769
00:34:24,380 --> 00:34:26,740
You know, if you were IN a field,
770
00:34:26,780 --> 00:34:28,180
you'd also be ON a field.
771
00:34:28,220 --> 00:34:29,380
"In" can describe something...
772
00:34:29,420 --> 00:34:31,500
The situation of something that is,
or appears to be,
773
00:34:31,540 --> 00:34:33,500
enclosed or surrounded
by something else.
774
00:34:33,540 --> 00:34:34,900
And it was surrounded by... Yes.
775
00:34:34,940 --> 00:34:37,580
All right, I'm going to allow it.
They were in a hammock.
776
00:34:37,620 --> 00:34:40,020
But was it a hammock? Yes. Yes.
777
00:34:40,060 --> 00:34:41,180
Well, yeah.
778
00:34:41,220 --> 00:34:43,780
A hammock has to be suspended
from two things, apparently.
779
00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:45,460
Where did you get
this definition from?
780
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:46,700
Uh, Google Maps.
781
00:34:46,740 --> 00:34:48,940
{\an1}LAUGHTER
782
00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:53,500
If you were going to order
a hammock online now... Yeah. Yeah.
783
00:34:53,540 --> 00:34:56,780
..it would arrive in a box.
It would. It's still a hammock.
784
00:34:56,820 --> 00:34:59,740
I think it's stretching it
to say that's fully a hammock.
785
00:34:59,780 --> 00:35:02,140
I would like to have
seen it suspended.
786
00:35:02,180 --> 00:35:03,900
So I would have to dock something
787
00:35:03,940 --> 00:35:06,180
for the fact that
it's not been suspended.
788
00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:08,220
But outside of that, it's valid.
789
00:35:08,260 --> 00:35:10,620
The only problem we've got,
as far as I can see,
790
00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:13,740
is we don't know what sort of kg
that Iain Stirling's packing.
791
00:35:13,780 --> 00:35:16,460
Although there is another problem
with their attempt. Is there?
792
00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:19,100
I did spot something. OK.
Do you want to have a look? Yep.
793
00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:20,380
Go - run, quick.
794
00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:21,540
Yeah. Go on, chuck it in.
795
00:35:21,580 --> 00:35:24,420
'Go on. Maybe they'll put it
all in the one side.
796
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:27,180
'LOU: 'I caught it, I caught it!'
'You didn't catch it.'
797
00:35:27,220 --> 00:35:30,260
'LOU: 'I caught it. I CAUGHT IT!'
798
00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:32,460
'I CAUGHT IT!
799
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:34,100
{\an4}LAUGHTER
800
00:35:34,140 --> 00:35:37,100
I tell you what, I don't need to
make a judgment here.
801
00:35:37,140 --> 00:35:39,220
Is there any way
of playing it again?
802
00:35:39,260 --> 00:35:40,900
What, the very last two seconds?
803
00:35:40,940 --> 00:35:43,100
I just want you
to watch Lou Sanders' eyes,
804
00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,460
and this is how I know
I haven't got to make a judgment!
805
00:35:52,380 --> 00:35:54,220
{\an1}LAUGHTER
806
00:35:54,260 --> 00:35:56,580
{\an1}APPLAUSE
807
00:35:58,860 --> 00:36:01,420
So are we saying the team of three
was definitely disqualified?
808
00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:03,420
I'm afraid so. Zero points
for the team of three.
809
00:36:03,460 --> 00:36:04,740
Not zero - I caught the book.
810
00:36:04,780 --> 00:36:07,140
No, I'm afraid so.
It was very clear in the rules.
811
00:36:07,180 --> 00:36:10,980
I'm going to give Sian and Joe
3 points each.
812
00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:12,980
LOU: What?
I think it's a lovely decision.
813
00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:14,860
Thank you. Sian and Joe
get 3 points each!
814
00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:17,700
{\an1}APPLAUSE
815
00:36:17,740 --> 00:36:20,700
Could we perhaps have a score update
before the final task?
816
00:36:20,740 --> 00:36:23,780
Yes. Paul, solid on 7.
Iain and Lou on 10.
817
00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:26,300
We have two leaders, though -
Joe and Sian, both on 15 points!
818
00:36:26,340 --> 00:36:27,700
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
819
00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:32,100
Go on, then, clear off, all of you,
820
00:36:32,140 --> 00:36:35,340
and make your way to the stage
for the final task of the show.
821
00:36:35,380 --> 00:36:38,020
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
822
00:36:41,740 --> 00:36:43,140
{\an1}APPLAUSE
823
00:36:44,620 --> 00:36:46,900
Hi, contestants. Hi, Alex.
Oh, hi, Greg.
824
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:47,940
What's the final task?
825
00:36:47,980 --> 00:36:50,940
I'm going to ask Lou Sanders to
reveal the wording of it. Oh, nice!
826
00:36:50,980 --> 00:36:53,580
OK. Um...
827
00:36:53,620 --> 00:36:57,460
Choose a hoop that you think
you can throw a frying pan into.
828
00:36:57,500 --> 00:37:01,220
{\an8}Choose a distance from which you can
throw a frying pan into that hoop.
829
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:03,540
{\an8}If you choose the big hoop,
you have one attempt.
830
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:05,820
{\an8}If you choose the medium hoop,
you have two attempts.
831
00:37:05,860 --> 00:37:08,220
{\an8}If you choose the small hoop,
you have three attempts.
832
00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:10,980
The person who throws most of
their frying pan into the hoop
833
00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:12,540
from the longest distance wins.
834
00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:14,620
OK. Pretty straightforward stuff.
835
00:37:14,660 --> 00:37:18,660
So, the person in the lead
is going to place their hoop first.
836
00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:21,020
In this case it is Joe and Sian.
SIAN: Joe.
837
00:37:21,060 --> 00:37:24,620
'So, Joe, you, as the gentleman,
will go first. OK. Yeah. Rightly so.
838
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:27,260
That's the phrase, innit -
"gentleman's first".
839
00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:28,300
Pick a hoop and place it.
840
00:37:28,340 --> 00:37:30,380
'I'm going to go for the middle one.
Middle hoop.
841
00:37:30,420 --> 00:37:32,660
'That seems like a... I don't know.
842
00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:34,380
I haven't done this before.
843
00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:37,140
Can we get Sian
to place her hoop, please?
844
00:37:37,180 --> 00:37:38,700
'Choose a hoop and place it.
845
00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:40,420
I'm going middle. Good.
846
00:37:40,460 --> 00:37:41,820
You know, average.
847
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:44,020
'Are you going beyond or before Joe?
848
00:37:44,060 --> 00:37:45,820
'That. Are you going for a draw?!
849
00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:47,740
'You've put it exactly
the same as Joe.
850
00:37:47,780 --> 00:37:50,660
'That's the sort of teamwork that
got them points in the bath task.
851
00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:52,580
'It's lovely. Next up, Iain, please.
852
00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:53,780
'Again, middle.
853
00:37:53,820 --> 00:37:56,620
{\an8}Who's going to put their head
above the parapet for the small one?
854
00:37:56,660 --> 00:38:00,700
{\an8}I think I know who. I mean,
these are all ambitious placings.
855
00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:02,100
So far it looks like the first bit
856
00:38:02,140 --> 00:38:04,020
of a really shit
Olympics Opening Ceremony.
857
00:38:05,540 --> 00:38:08,220
Lou up next. I played this game
at school, actually.
858
00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:11,340
Yeah.
859
00:38:11,380 --> 00:38:12,580
One hoop...
860
00:38:12,620 --> 00:38:13,900
from a weighty distance.
861
00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:15,500
Big hoop, big distance.
862
00:38:15,540 --> 00:38:17,100
Finally, Paul Sinha.
863
00:38:17,140 --> 00:38:19,660
Lovely stuff, lovely stuff.
864
00:38:19,700 --> 00:38:22,220
{\an1}APPLAUSE
865
00:38:23,020 --> 00:38:26,020
It's quite clever, because if no-one
else lands a pan, Paul wins, right?
866
00:38:26,060 --> 00:38:29,900
If no-one lands a pan, Paul wins.
We've always said that. Yeah.
867
00:38:29,940 --> 00:38:32,860
So it is the closest hoop that
goes first - that's you, Paul.
868
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:35,540
Paul's going to land a pan in that.
Go on, Paul! Good luck, Paul.
869
00:38:35,580 --> 00:38:37,260
{\an1}CHEERING
870
00:38:37,300 --> 00:38:38,900
{\an1}APPLAUSE
871
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:43,660
{\an1}APPLAUSE
872
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:45,380
Most of the frying pan
is in the hoop.
873
00:38:45,420 --> 00:38:47,700
You may sit on the bench
successfully.
874
00:38:47,740 --> 00:38:49,100
That's got to feel good, Paul.
875
00:38:49,140 --> 00:38:50,460
Next up, purple to throw.
876
00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:52,660
'Two attempts. Two attempts.
877
00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:55,980
'I'll retrieve it
if you miss with the first.
878
00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:01,580
AUDIENCE: Aw!
879
00:39:01,620 --> 00:39:02,860
'LOU: I win!
880
00:39:04,580 --> 00:39:06,180
You've got your eye in there, right?
881
00:39:06,220 --> 00:39:07,700
'I mean, it landed in it.
882
00:39:07,740 --> 00:39:10,860
I don't really know
what you're supposed to do.
883
00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:13,060
You want to get most of
the pan into your hoop.
884
00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:14,340
{\an1}LAUGHTER
885
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:16,300
Thanks.
886
00:39:16,340 --> 00:39:17,700
'Lovely.
887
00:39:19,580 --> 00:39:21,020
'AUDIENCE: Ohh!
Get in!
888
00:39:21,060 --> 00:39:23,260
{\an1}APPLAUSE
889
00:39:26,060 --> 00:39:27,740
'Next up, Sian Gibson to throw.
890
00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:29,060
'You have two attempts.
891
00:39:29,780 --> 00:39:32,460
{\an8}Long time since we've seen
Gibson in the arena.
892
00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:38,180
{\an7}LAUGHTER
893
00:39:38,220 --> 00:39:40,020
{\an8}APPLAUSE
I get it. You have to...
894
00:39:42,860 --> 00:39:44,580
{\an8}I'm going for a side one.
895
00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:46,140
{\an8}AUDIENCE: Ooh!
896
00:39:49,460 --> 00:39:51,780
{\an8}Oh! That's close.
897
00:39:54,940 --> 00:39:57,900
Next to throw is green -
Iain Stirling.
898
00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:02,540
Oh, the cocky young puppy.
899
00:40:03,460 --> 00:40:05,300
{\an8}Let's see if his pan-throwing
900
00:40:05,340 --> 00:40:06,700
{\an8}lives up to his attitude.
901
00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:11,300
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
902
00:40:11,340 --> 00:40:12,500
Nearly. Yeah.
903
00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:14,420
'I... You want that one back?
904
00:40:14,460 --> 00:40:16,940
I'm like one of those
tennis players.
905
00:40:18,060 --> 00:40:19,060
That's his luck...
906
00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:20,900
{\an1}LAUGHTER
907
00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:22,020
That's his lucky pan.
908
00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:23,980
Thank God we've got
such a good pan boy.
909
00:40:24,980 --> 00:40:26,060
You sweating, mate?
910
00:40:28,540 --> 00:40:29,700
Come on.
911
00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:34,300
AUDIENCE: Oh!
912
00:40:34,340 --> 00:40:37,180
Oh-ho! Do you want to check
the pan, Greg? Of course not!
913
00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:44,980
{\an8}She has one throw -
it's the large hoop.
914
00:40:45,020 --> 00:40:46,900
If this misses, Paul Sinha wins.
915
00:40:46,940 --> 00:40:49,060
But what if it goes in? Imagine.
916
00:40:49,100 --> 00:40:50,220
Good luck, Lou.
917
00:40:50,260 --> 00:40:51,540
Imagine if it does go in.
918
00:40:51,580 --> 00:40:53,140
Oh, my God!
919
00:40:53,180 --> 00:40:54,260
IAIN: Go on, Lou.
920
00:40:58,740 --> 00:41:01,340
{\an1}CHEERING
921
00:41:05,580 --> 00:41:07,460
{\an1}APPLAUSE
922
00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:11,580
Yes!
923
00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:15,420
I mean, in all of
Pan Hoop history...
924
00:41:15,460 --> 00:41:19,260
I have never seen
a gameplay like that.
925
00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:20,660
Right, well, come down -
926
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:22,860
we'll work out what that does
for the final scores.
927
00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,980
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
928
00:41:30,420 --> 00:41:34,980
That was a pretty sport-defining
moment, I would say, for Pan Hoop.
929
00:41:35,020 --> 00:41:36,820
Mm. It was harrowing and wonderful.
930
00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:38,180
What's it done to the scores?
931
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:40,740
Well, the individual scores
for that game were...
932
00:41:40,780 --> 00:41:43,100
0 points to Iain,
0 to Sian, 0 to Joe.
933
00:41:43,140 --> 00:41:46,540
Paul - 4 points for
his tactical mastery.
934
00:41:46,580 --> 00:41:47,820
{\an1}APPLAUSE
935
00:41:47,860 --> 00:41:50,340
But the Pan Hoop Champion 2019,
936
00:41:50,380 --> 00:41:52,220
without a doubt, is Lou Sanders.
937
00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:53,780
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
938
00:41:55,060 --> 00:41:56,620
And it means we have...
939
00:41:56,660 --> 00:41:58,420
a three-way tie at the top.
940
00:41:58,460 --> 00:42:00,940
Lou, Joe and Sian
all have 15 points!
941
00:42:00,980 --> 00:42:02,180
APPLAUSE
Oh, my God!
942
00:42:04,700 --> 00:42:06,300
How are we going to
find out a winner?
943
00:42:06,340 --> 00:42:08,940
With an encore - which is,
of course, French for tiebreak.
944
00:42:08,980 --> 00:42:12,100
And for this tiebreak,
they had to stand behind a line,
945
00:42:12,140 --> 00:42:13,940
whip a bottle off a barrel.
946
00:42:13,980 --> 00:42:17,020
The fastest to whip the bottle
off the barrel wins.
947
00:42:17,060 --> 00:42:21,460
Got it? Yes. OK, so here they
all are doing the Whip Tiebreak.
948
00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:22,780
Time starts now.
949
00:42:26,180 --> 00:42:27,220
Ooh, close.
950
00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:30,540
There we go. Ooh!
951
00:42:34,420 --> 00:42:35,700
Pleased with yourself? Very.
952
00:42:37,060 --> 00:42:38,300
Like Dolly Parton.
953
00:42:38,340 --> 00:42:39,980
{\an1}APPLAUSE
954
00:42:40,020 --> 00:42:41,540
Three whips - crack 'em down.
955
00:42:41,580 --> 00:42:43,020
Yes. Yes, it was.
956
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:46,060
And the scores are pretty clear-cut.
957
00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:48,620
52 seconds, Lou. 50.3 second, Joe.
958
00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:51,300
But 9,4 seconds to the winner
of the show - Sian Gibson!
959
00:42:51,340 --> 00:42:53,340
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
960
00:42:55,540 --> 00:42:58,460
Sian Gibson is the winner
of tonight's episode.
961
00:42:58,500 --> 00:42:59,500
Excellent work.
962
00:42:59,540 --> 00:43:02,300
Please go grab your Doctor's Orders.
963
00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:04,900
So, what have we learned today?
964
00:43:04,940 --> 00:43:07,260
We've learned that
parenting is easy -
965
00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:09,620
dazzle them with bright colours,
interesting textures,
966
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:12,900
and teach them about the brutal,
indiscriminate slaughter of animals.
967
00:43:12,940 --> 00:43:16,340
But the good news was that
Sian Gibson won the show.
968
00:43:16,380 --> 00:43:18,420
What a victory, what a person,
969
00:43:18,460 --> 00:43:20,220
what a night - what a goodbye!
970
00:43:20,260 --> 00:43:21,660
Goodbye.
971
00:43:21,700 --> 00:43:23,420
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
972
00:43:45,940 --> 00:43:48,620
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