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1
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:43,900
Why do we hold the Sundance Film Festival
here Phillis? It's so painfully crowded.
2
00:00:43,935 --> 00:00:47,900
Because, people from LA love to
come to a quaint little mountain town
3
00:00:47,935 --> 00:00:49,865
for a few days, and
this gives them excuse.
4
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,865
No this used to be a
quaint little mountain town.
5
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:54,900
Now look at it! Sushi restaraunts,
upscale clothes stores,
6
00:00:54,935 --> 00:00:57,917
25 dollar parking,
leamnissen. I tell you Phillis,
7
00:00:57,952 --> 00:01:00,865
I think we've tapped
this town's resources out.
8
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:04,900
We must move the festival to another
small mountain town and begin again.
9
00:01:04,935 --> 00:01:08,865
That's not a bad idea. But where?
10
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:23,900
Ok children, I have some
very exciting news for you.
11
00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:25,865
Why don't you tell them Mr. Twigg.
12
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:30,900
That's right Mr. Garrison. The first annual
South Park film festival begins today.
13
00:01:30,935 --> 00:01:31,865
Wow, cool!
14
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,900
They're not gonna show that
stupid ass Godzilla movie are they?
15
00:01:34,935 --> 00:01:36,917
No no no Kyle. These
are independent films.
16
00:01:36,952 --> 00:01:38,865
Oh like Independence
Day? That sucked ass too.
17
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,900
No dude, independent films are
those black and white hippy movies.
18
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,865
It's about gay cowboys eating pudding.
19
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:47,900
No they're not. Independent films are
produced outside the hollywood system.
20
00:01:47,935 --> 00:01:49,865
They're movies without all the
glitz and glamor of Hollywood.
21
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:53,900
Puh, well you show me one independent film
that ISN'T about gay cowboys eating pudding.
22
00:01:53,935 --> 00:01:57,865
Once again you have no idea
what you're talkin about, fatass!
23
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,865
I'm not fat, I just haven't grown
into my body yet, you skinny bitch!
24
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:06,900
Eric if you call Wendy bitch one more time,
I'm sending you to the principal's office.
25
00:02:06,935 --> 00:02:08,900
Bitch. That's it Eric, you...
26
00:02:08,935 --> 00:02:09,865
I'm going!
27
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,900
Anyway children, I want you all to
see at least one independent film
28
00:02:12,935 --> 00:02:16,865
at the festival and then
write a paper about it.
29
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,900
The first fiml showing is
called "Witness to Denial".
30
00:02:19,935 --> 00:02:22,865
And is a sexual exploration
piece about 2 women in love.
31
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,900
my uncle Jimbo has a ton of those
movies in his dresser drawer.
32
00:02:25,935 --> 00:02:28,900
No no, I wanna shoot the script
next month with Demi Moore test.
33
00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:30,865
Well you tell Spielburg
he can kiss my ass.
34
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,900
Wow, look at this Johnson.
Traffic jams at every intersection,
35
00:02:33,935 --> 00:02:35,900
hoards of people pushing
their way through the crowds.
36
00:02:35,935 --> 00:02:38,865
It's almost like we're a real city.
37
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,900
Can't believe I got sent to the principal's
office because of your stupid girlfriend.
38
00:02:41,935 --> 00:02:42,865
She's NOT my girlfriend.
39
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:46,865
Yeah, you really puke on her like that.
40
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,865
Sick Kenny! Damn dude,
look at all these people.
41
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,900
I'm late for a screening,
I'll call you from the theatre.
42
00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:51,900
All this for a bunch of stupid movies?
43
00:02:51,935 --> 00:02:53,900
Hello there children! Hey Chef!
44
00:02:53,935 --> 00:02:54,865
Whatcha doin?
45
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:59,900
Children, this whole film festival thing
has quite lucrited monotary possiblities.
46
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:02,900
Now I'm gonna sell of my famous
cookies, to these Hollywood types,
47
00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:05,900
and make a mint! What kinda of cookies?
48
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:06,865
Calm down tubby.
49
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:09,900
They're little cookies
with fudge in the middle.
50
00:03:09,935 --> 00:03:11,900
And I call them "Fudge 'Ems. "
51
00:03:11,935 --> 00:03:12,865
I wanna fudgem!
52
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:16,900
I can see the commercial
now. Wife got you down?
53
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,900
Boss making you angry?
Kids yelling at ya?
54
00:03:18,935 --> 00:03:21,865
Well fudge em! Cool!
55
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:25,865
And I've also got my double
chocolate cookies, "fudge this. "
56
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,900
Oh look one of the natives is
selling local foodwares. How quaint.
57
00:03:28,935 --> 00:03:30,865
This is why I come to these things.
58
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,900
To get away from LA and become
one with a more simple culture.
59
00:03:33,935 --> 00:03:35,900
Well perhaps you'd like to
try my low calorie cookies,
60
00:03:35,935 --> 00:03:38,917
"Go fudge yourself. " All my all natural,
61
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,865
"I don't really give a flying fudge. "
62
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,900
Ooh do you have any
tofu or steamed cellery?
63
00:03:43,935 --> 00:03:45,900
I would kill for some
cous-cous right now.
64
00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:46,865
Cous-goose?
65
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:50,900
Uhhh nevermind. We brought some
food from the natural market in LA.
66
00:03:50,935 --> 00:03:51,865
Cute sign though.
67
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:55,900
Stan I have two tickets for the
opening film at the festival.
68
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:59,900
Would you like to come with me?
Stan, memmememme, hehehehe...
69
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:00,865
Shut up Cartman!
70
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,865
Sure dude, I mean since we have
to write a paper on a film anyway.
71
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:07,900
It'll be the death of him Kyle. Mark
my words. It'll be the death of him.
72
00:04:07,935 --> 00:04:09,900
If she holds his hand in that
theatre it'll be all over.
73
00:04:09,935 --> 00:04:13,900
Get em while they're
hot. My all new cookies!
74
00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:15,865
"I just went and fudged yo mama!"
75
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:20,865
Geezes, he sure ran
that one into the ground.
76
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:22,865
When does this thing start, I
hope there's some good previews.
77
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,900
Stan, film festival movies don't
usually have previews before them.
78
00:04:24,935 --> 00:04:29,865
They what?
79
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:32,865
Who are you to judge my womanly soul.
80
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:36,900
The godess flames that
burn in my memory are dark.
81
00:04:36,935 --> 00:04:39,865
Dare you call them dark.
82
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:42,900
Here lies the goddes truth of my body.
83
00:04:42,935 --> 00:04:43,865
Oh brother.
84
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,865
The godess that cries. Freedom!
85
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:50,400
Here is the godess truth
of my womanly being.
86
00:04:50,435 --> 00:04:53,167
You are my blossom my
flame, when we make love
87
00:04:53,202 --> 00:04:55,900
it's like the sun is
right outside the door.
88
00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:58,900
Then make love to me. Right now!
89
00:04:58,935 --> 00:05:01,865
Dude!
90
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,900
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
91
00:05:04,935 --> 00:05:07,865
I can see all obsticles in my way...
92
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,900
Bubbly! You need to
get to bed it's late!
93
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,900
I'm poopies ma! Hurry up!
94
00:05:12,935 --> 00:05:15,700
Going dark hand...
95
00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:22,865
Could it be?
96
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:28,865
Mr. Hankey is that you? Hello?
97
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,900
I'm here live in South Park, Colorado,
where citizens of Los Angeles,
98
00:05:31,935 --> 00:05:35,900
are arriving in jobs for the
town's first annual film festival.
99
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:37,865
This is just a small
quiet mountain community,
100
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,865
where nothing out of the
ordinary ever really happens...
101
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,900
except for the occasional complete
desctruction of the entire town.
102
00:05:42,935 --> 00:05:45,865
And so the excitement level
is naturally very high.
103
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:48,900
Right now the townspeople are
anxiously awaiting the arrival
104
00:05:48,935 --> 00:05:50,865
of some of Hollywood's top celebrities.
105
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,865
It was him dude. I tell
you it was Mr. Hanky.
106
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,900
Wait, I thought Mr. Hanky
only came at Christmas time.
107
00:05:55,935 --> 00:05:58,417
Well I'm sure it was him.
108
00:05:58,452 --> 00:06:00,865
Look here comes somebody!
109
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:05,865
Ladies and gentlemen, TV's Fred Savage!
110
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,865
Well I'm sure a real
person will show up soon.
111
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,900
So how was that movie last night
dude? dude you don't even wanna know.
112
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,900
It was about a bunch of gay
cowboys eating pudding huh?
113
00:06:12,935 --> 00:06:14,865
Yeah... pretty much. Yes!
114
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,900
The theatre sucks though, they
need to get a bigger screen.
115
00:06:16,935 --> 00:06:19,900
They should project the
movies on Cartman's ass.
116
00:06:19,935 --> 00:06:22,865
Ay! Yeah, but that'd be like I-Max.
117
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,865
Ok ok. That's enought
fatass jokes for this week.
118
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:29,188
Cartman's ass is so fucking fat that sometimes
it takes up the entire projecting room.
119
00:06:30,935 --> 00:06:36,900
Ok that does it. Screw
you guys I'm going home.
120
00:06:36,935 --> 00:06:38,865
Well?
121
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,865
I'm gonna just give me a minute.
122
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,865
This is perfect. Why didn't
we think of it sooner?
123
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:47,900
This town still has some charm left.
Not the mess we turned Park City into.
124
00:06:47,935 --> 00:06:49,865
Forgive me for being observant but,
125
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,900
won't we just end up doing
the same thing to this town?
126
00:06:52,935 --> 00:06:55,865
Yes, and the town after,
and the town after that.
127
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,900
Like termites, we will move
this festival from town to town,
128
00:06:58,935 --> 00:06:59,865
until we have used it up.
129
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:03,900
And then move on until every quite
mountain town is like Los Angeles.
130
00:07:03,935 --> 00:07:05,917
Why? Why would we do such a thing?
131
00:07:05,952 --> 00:07:07,865
Because we have to live in LA.
132
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,900
And if we can't live in quite
simple peaceful mountain towns,
133
00:07:10,935 --> 00:07:15,865
then nobody will!
134
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:19,900
Wait wait wait, zoom into a close
up of my face when I do that.
135
00:07:19,935 --> 00:07:22,900
Ready? Then nobody will!
136
00:07:22,935 --> 00:07:23,865
That's it.
137
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,865
Children, glad you're here.
138
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,900
I want you to check out
my new confectionaries.
139
00:07:27,935 --> 00:07:29,900
I think they're gonna sell
right through the roof.
140
00:07:29,935 --> 00:07:33,900
I call them "Chef's
salty chocolate balls. "
141
00:07:33,935 --> 00:07:36,865
Are they good? Try em.
142
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,500
Hey these are good! Yeah, I love
your salty chocolate balls Chef!
143
00:07:43,935 --> 00:07:48,865
There it is again. There is what again?
144
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,900
It's Mr. Hanky! I think he's
in some kind of trouble.
145
00:07:50,935 --> 00:07:52,900
Dude, how do you tell if a
piece of poo is in trouble?
146
00:07:52,935 --> 00:07:54,865
Where does that grill
go? To the sewer dude.
147
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:57,300
Of course! The sewer! That
must be where he is! Come on!
148
00:08:18,935 --> 00:08:20,865
Oh man it smells like ass down here.
149
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,900
Of course it smells like
ass retard! It's a sewer!
150
00:08:23,935 --> 00:08:25,865
What was that?
151
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:29,079
Oh man let's get outta here. We can't
dude, not until we find Mr. Hankey.
152
00:08:32,935 --> 00:08:34,917
What the hell? Mr. Garrison?
153
00:08:34,952 --> 00:08:36,865
Oh uh... hello children.
154
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,900
What are you doing in the sewer
with a bunch of snorkel stuff on?
155
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,865
I I was just uh... hangin out...
156
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,900
In a sewer? Children do you
know how to file a police report?
157
00:08:44,935 --> 00:08:49,865
No. Good. See you in school.
158
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,865
This is ridiculous. What
the hell are we, the goonies?
159
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,900
Yeah, we're the goonies Cartman. Why
don't you pretend like you're the fat kid.
160
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:59,917
Ok that does it. Screw
you guys, I'm home.
161
00:08:59,952 --> 00:09:03,926
Howdy ho boys! I told
you guys he'd be here.
162
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:07,900
Gosh look at ya. You're
all growing up so fast.
163
00:09:07,935 --> 00:09:10,865
Hi Mr. Hankey, nice to see ya.
164
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,900
Have you all been brushing
behind your teeth? Yes.
165
00:09:13,935 --> 00:09:16,865
And using dental floss? Yes.
166
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,900
And washing behind your ears? Yes.
167
00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:20,865
No.
168
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,900
What's the matter
Mr. Hankey? Are you sick?
169
00:09:22,935 --> 00:09:24,865
Oh I just got a little cold, that's all.
170
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:27,865
All these new people in South
Park are stressfulin my home.
171
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:32,900
What do you mean? Well you see boys,
the sewer's a fragile ecosystem.
172
00:09:32,935 --> 00:09:33,865
Oh my god.
173
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:37,400
These new folks in town eat
nothing but cous-cous, tofu,
174
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:41,167
and raw vegetables, and it's
destroying my environment.
175
00:09:41,202 --> 00:09:44,865
And that's why you gotta cold?
That's why Kyle. That's why.
176
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,900
Why don't you just ask them to leave? There's
only 1 time of year I can come to the surface,
177
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:50,865
and that's Christmas time.
178
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,865
That's why I need you boys to go for me.
179
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:56,900
Don't worry Mr. Hankey. We'll
tell everyone, come on guys!
180
00:09:56,935 --> 00:09:59,984
Don't forget to change
your sheets once a week!
181
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:06,900
So without further adue, we
will begin this amazing film.
182
00:10:06,935 --> 00:10:08,865
It's a work of blood, sweat, and tears.
183
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,900
Wait stop! Could I have
your attention please!
184
00:10:11,935 --> 00:10:14,417
Is that Leonardo DeCaprio?
185
00:10:14,452 --> 00:10:16,865
Oh wait, that's not him.
186
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:20,900
Ladies and gentlemen, my best friend Mr.
Hankey is getting sicks because South Park
187
00:10:20,935 --> 00:10:22,900
has become overcrowded with
people who eat health foods.
188
00:10:22,935 --> 00:10:26,865
Excuse me little boy,
what's a Mr. Hankey?
189
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,865
He's a talking piece of
poo that lives in the sewer.
190
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,900
But now he's getting sick because his
ecosystem is all out of wack because of all
191
00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:32,865
the extra poo in the sewer.
192
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,865
If you don't all leave and go
home soon, Mr. Hankey's gonna die.
193
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:40,900
He's one of my best friends in the whole
wide world, and I don't want him to die.
194
00:10:40,935 --> 00:10:42,917
What a great story! It has everything!
195
00:10:42,952 --> 00:10:44,865
This could be the next Free Willy!
196
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,400
Great pick son, how
much do you want for it?
197
00:10:47,435 --> 00:10:49,865
Does it have to be a
talking piece of poo.
198
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,900
It could be a crime fighting
rabbit, or a lovable turtle.
199
00:10:51,935 --> 00:10:53,865
This could be a great summer movie.
200
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,578
Can we put a monkey in it? The Mr. Hankey
story, is there a fort available for a fall pick?
201
00:10:57,579 --> 00:11:01,879
- Keanu Reaves. - Matt Damon!
- Fred Savage!
202
00:11:03,935 --> 00:11:08,865
I'd pay a million for
this story. I'd pay 2!
203
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,900
Dude, no one even listened to me. Well,
it does sound like a pretty sweet movie.
204
00:11:11,935 --> 00:11:14,900
I take it you're part owner of
this whole Mr. Hooey story right?
205
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,865
Huh? Yeah I guess.
206
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,900
I want you to do a
big money deal with me.
207
00:11:19,935 --> 00:11:20,865
All of us?
208
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:23,900
Well, I can see that you're
the real brains of the group.
209
00:11:23,935 --> 00:11:25,865
You don't really need those guys do you?
210
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,900
Yeah screw those guys,
I don't even like them.
211
00:11:27,935 --> 00:11:29,865
That's great kid. Let's make a deal.
212
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,400
Ladies and gentlemen, I want
to thank you all for making
213
00:11:33,435 --> 00:11:36,865
the first annual South Park
film festival a success.
214
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:38,900
We've barely even started and
already the festival has seen
215
00:11:38,935 --> 00:11:43,865
more attendance than last
year's Sundance festival.
216
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:46,865
And I am very pleased to announce
that in honor of the South Park
217
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:50,900
people who have welcomed us, we are going
to build a Hollywood Planet restaraunt.
218
00:11:50,935 --> 00:11:54,005
Right here where this
library used to stand.
219
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,065
Can they do that? They're
Hollywood, they can do anything.
220
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:22,900
Well? How did it go? Is everyone
gonna stop poopin' in my environment?
221
00:12:22,935 --> 00:12:25,900
They didn't believe me. They
thought I was pitching a movie.
222
00:12:25,935 --> 00:12:30,917
Oh, I, I see. Well shucks Kyle,
223
00:12:30,952 --> 00:12:35,865
I can't thank you enough for tryin.
224
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:37,900
We only have 1 option. I'm
gonna take you to the surface.
225
00:12:37,935 --> 00:12:39,865
I can't, the sun will dry me out.
226
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:43,900
It's the only way to prove that you're
real. But I won't last long up above.
227
00:12:43,935 --> 00:12:47,417
Well you're not gonna last down
here either Mr. Hankey, now come on.
228
00:12:47,452 --> 00:12:50,900
I'm not gonna let you die. Alright,
just let me get my tooth brush.
229
00:12:50,935 --> 00:12:55,900
Come on Stan, we're gonna
be late for the screening!
230
00:12:55,935 --> 00:12:58,865
Geez, they made that
into a movie already?
231
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:02,900
Mr. Hankey, I can't go on
anymore. I'd lost the fight.
232
00:13:02,935 --> 00:13:03,865
No, I'm not leaving without you.
233
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:07,865
We started this together, and
we're gonna finish it together.
234
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:13,865
I always thought death was something
glorious, but I know that it's not.
235
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:17,900
It's going over really well. People are
gonna be knocking my door down to get you.
236
00:13:17,935 --> 00:13:21,900
Who the hell cast Tom Hanks in this? Tom
Hanks can't act his way out of a nutsack.
237
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:26,917
I'll always love you Mr. Hankey.
238
00:13:26,952 --> 00:13:30,426
Me me me me meh, me me meh meh.
239
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:33,900
Oh my god! I found a penny!
240
00:13:33,935 --> 00:13:37,865
You bastard!
241
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:42,865
Ok Mr. Hankey we're out. How are
you doin? It sure is dry up here.
242
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:48,900
Don't worry. We'll do this quick ok.
Just hang on Mr. Hankey, just hang on.
243
00:13:48,935 --> 00:13:51,865
Mr. Film Commisioner, could
I have a word with you?
244
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,865
Make it quick. Well the people
of my town are a little upset.
245
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,900
I don't think we realized what an impact
this festival would have on our town.
246
00:13:58,935 --> 00:14:02,865
Right, so we were actually wondering,
if we can call this whole thing off.
247
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:07,900
We have contracts. You try to pull out now,
we'll sue your town for every penny it's got.
248
00:14:07,935 --> 00:14:09,865
But thanks so much for the hard work.
249
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:13,900
But, but this doesn't make sense to me, Marty.
You told me the movie made a lot of money.
250
00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:17,917
Right. Two million, minus your
agence fee, minus your lawyer's fee,
251
00:14:17,952 --> 00:14:21,900
minus my fee with publicity and
taxes taken out, you get 3 dollars!
252
00:14:21,935 --> 00:14:24,865
That's more than most people
in your position make, trust me.
253
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,900
Serves you right Cartman, you're a sellout.
I'm not a sellout! What's a sellout?
254
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,900
If you work in the entertainment business
and you make money, you're a sellout.
255
00:14:30,935 --> 00:14:34,917
It's all goin to hell children.
And we're all to blame.
256
00:14:34,952 --> 00:14:38,900
Even me! I was selling out my
town too. And now look at it.
257
00:14:38,935 --> 00:14:40,900
So what do we do now?
There's nothing we can do.
258
00:14:40,935 --> 00:14:42,917
Just sit here and suck on my balls.
259
00:14:42,952 --> 00:14:44,865
You guys we have to hurry. What?
260
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,865
Come on, everything's
gonna be ok! Sir, sir!
261
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:51,900
Not now. I think it'll change the
way you feel about your impact here.
262
00:14:51,935 --> 00:14:55,197
What's this? I want you
guys to all meet my friend.
263
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,865
That's great kid, a dried up
lump of shit. Very compelling.
264
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:07,900
Ok folks let's move. We gotta have that
sign done before the opening tonight.
265
00:15:07,935 --> 00:15:11,900
You can't die Mr. Hankey, you can't!
266
00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:15,417
Kyle, before I go,
267
00:15:15,452 --> 00:15:19,676
I must tell you.
268
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:23,865
Come closer. Closer.
269
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,865
Well, what is it Mr. Hankey?
270
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:33,900
Don't ask for another skywalker. Eh...
271
00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:35,865
Noooo!
272
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:37,900
Wait Kyle... What is it Mr. Hankey?
273
00:15:37,935 --> 00:15:40,900
Come closer... What is it?
274
00:15:40,935 --> 00:15:42,865
Closer... Yes?
275
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:47,900
Closer! One time, when you were sleepin,
276
00:15:47,935 --> 00:15:49,865
I put myself in your mouth,
277
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:53,900
and had my friend take a picture. Eh...
278
00:15:53,935 --> 00:15:55,447
Noooo!
279
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,865
I'm sorry son. Let's get him to ICU.
280
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,900
Nooo! No! You gonna be
ok dude? I'm here for you.
281
00:16:18,935 --> 00:16:20,900
Hi Stan, ready to go see another movie?
282
00:16:20,935 --> 00:16:22,093
Ok!
283
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,900
Say Tom, doya have any pudding left?
284
00:16:29,935 --> 00:16:34,917
I ate all mine up silly.
285
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:39,865
Well now what do we do?
286
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:43,900
Sorry. Why don't we
explore our sexuality?
287
00:16:43,935 --> 00:16:46,865
Oh good idea. Let's...
288
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,865
Aww dude I shouldn't be seeing this!
289
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,538
Is there a problem young
man? No problem dude.
290
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,900
I'll never forget you. You
were my best friend after Stan.
291
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,917
Come on Kyle. It's time to go.
292
00:17:01,952 --> 00:17:04,926
Chef, does poo go to heaven?
293
00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:07,900
Well... I... I kinda hope not.
294
00:17:07,935 --> 00:17:09,865
I mean, sure it does.
295
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:14,162
Here, I'll give him one of my salty
balls to take with him to poo heaven.
296
00:17:17,935 --> 00:17:22,417
Come on, let's go.
297
00:17:22,452 --> 00:17:25,676
He's back, he's back!
298
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,865
That was delicious!
299
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,900
My salty chocolate balls
must've rejuvinated him!
300
00:17:31,935 --> 00:17:34,900
You got the best balls
in the whole world Chef!
301
00:17:34,935 --> 00:17:40,865
You damn right.
302
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,900
Come on out and get them here!
Mr. Hankey and me T-Shirts!
303
00:17:43,935 --> 00:17:46,900
Get them while they last
folks! They're only $14.95!
304
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,865
I'll take two!
305
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,865
Selling T-shirts kicks ass.
306
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,865
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased
to announce on this gala opening
307
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:57,900
of Hollywood Planet South Park, that
the festival will be back next year.
308
00:17:57,935 --> 00:17:59,900
And the year after that,
and the year after that,
309
00:17:59,935 --> 00:18:04,417
and so on! And now, release the curtain!
310
00:18:04,452 --> 00:18:08,865
I give you, Hollywood in South Park!
311
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:11,900
Wait! I brought him! I
brought him to show you!
312
00:18:11,935 --> 00:18:15,000
Aww not this again. Behold, Mr. Hankey!
313
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:25,900
Anyway, this new Hollywood Planet
will be the official meeting place...
314
00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:29,865
Howdy ho folks, I'm afraid
my buddy Kyle was right.
315
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,900
There's not enough room in South
Park to accomodate a festival.
316
00:18:32,935 --> 00:18:36,900
Mr. Poo if you wouldn't mind,
we can't hear our chairman.
317
00:18:36,935 --> 00:18:37,865
If you could just turn yourself down.
318
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:43,900
You're at about 7 right now,
we need you at about 3 ok?
319
00:18:43,935 --> 00:18:45,865
Uh folks please.
320
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,900
Little towns like this simply
aren't meant for big advance.
321
00:18:48,935 --> 00:18:51,865
We love having visitors, but golly,
322
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,865
too many of you, is
hurtin our ecosystem.
323
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,900
Besides folks, film
festivals shouldn't be about
324
00:18:57,935 --> 00:18:59,865
what celebrities are comin,
325
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,865
or what film is gonna get shown.
326
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:04,865
It should be about
people gettin together,
327
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:07,900
and watching movies, and about
people who can never get their
328
00:19:07,935 --> 00:19:10,900
movies seen get a chance
to have it watched.
329
00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:12,865
If only once.
330
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,900
A good film festival should
be something where we all say
331
00:19:15,935 --> 00:19:18,900
"Oh let's forget about
lawyers, and exits, and studios,
332
00:19:18,935 --> 00:19:20,865
and celebrities.
333
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,900
Let"s forget all those
things for just a while,
334
00:19:23,935 --> 00:19:28,917
and just watch some new art. "
335
00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:33,865
I... have had enough.. of YOU!
336
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:38,900
Now, as I was saying, this shall usher
in a whole new decade of films...
337
00:19:38,935 --> 00:19:41,900
Oh ohoh! He's dead! Mr. Hankey's dead!
338
00:19:41,935 --> 00:19:47,865
Well this worked once before.
339
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:52,031
Thanks Chef. Your big chocolate
balls are just the trick.
340
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,000
- What the hell is he doing?
- I don't know!
341
00:20:16,935 --> 00:20:18,740
Oh my god!
342
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,865
It smells it smells!
343
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,900
AHH! Hurry up it's coming!
344
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:39,000
I'm trying damn it!
345
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,000
Let's get out of this town!
346
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:08,865
Golly, I guess I don't
know my own strength.
347
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,865
You did it Mr. Hankey! You got
rid of all the film people!
348
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:16,900
Oh yeah, now all we have is a town
covered in shit. This is much better.
349
00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:22,865
I couldn't have done it
without you Kyle. Kisses!
350
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,900
Stan, I'm sorry I dragged you
to all those independent films.
351
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:27,865
Well that's ok Wendy. I fogive you.
352
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:31,900
Sometimes I forget that even though
a few independent films are great,
353
00:21:31,935 --> 00:21:32,865
most of them suck ass.
354
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:35,865
Yes, and I've learned something too.
355
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,900
Being a sell out is sweet,
cause you make a lot of money.
356
00:21:38,935 --> 00:21:39,865
And when you have money,
357
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:43,900
you don't have to hang out with
any poorass loosers like you guys.
358
00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,900
Screw you guys, I'm going home.
29126
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