All language subtitles for South.Park.S02E06.iNTERNAL.DVDRip.XviD-BABAR

And now back to hunting and killing with
South Park's favorite hunters, Jimbo and Ned.

I'm Jimbo Kerny and this
is here is Ned. Say hi, Ned.

- Nnnhi, Ned.
- Now, isn't that great?

We have a terrific
show for you today.

We're gonna kill some elk and
we're gonna kill mountain goats.

Now the new law passed by Colorado
legislature which Ned and I call pussy law #4

states that we can no longer
kill animals in defense.

In otherwords our old line of
"It's coming right for us"

It's coming right for us.

No longer works. So now we only kill
animals to quote "Thin out their numbers".

If we don't hunt, these animals will grow to big in
their number and they won't have enough food.

So you see, we have to kill
animals, or else they'll die.

Ah, so roll the tape. Here we are up at
Shafer's crossing looking for some animals.

Lookee Ned, there's some deers.
Quick Ned, thin out their numbers!

Thin out their numbers.

Good work Ned,
now they won't starve.

That sure was a great hunting trip,
we saved those deer from extiction.

Mmmwere environmentalists.

Coming up next, we're gonna drop some
nepalm on an unsuspecting family of bevers.

And also try the numbers of
some endangered species.

Mr.Garrison? What's Vietnam?

What's Vietnam. A question a child
might ask, but not a childish question.

Children for the next few days
we'll be learning all about Vietnam.

Chances are that somebody in your own
lives was affected by this incredible war.

That's right Mr.Garrison, the
Vietnam war was sticky and icky.

Mr.Garrison?
Were you in Vietnam?

Come on Ned, let's go.
Jump into the chopper.

- Who's next to take a shower?
- Me, I am.

Where could I hide this big pipe?

No I wasn't in Vietnam. But
sometimes I like to pretend I was.

Anyway children, I gonna
assign you all a paper.

I you all to find somebody in your own life who
was in Vietnam, and interview them about it.

What if we don't know anybody
who was in Vietnam?

Then you get an F, fail the 3rd
grade and have to get a job

cleaning septic tanks to
support your drug habit.

Dude, my uncle Jimbo was in Vietnam.

Hey yeah, he and Ned did
that stupid TV show.

And now time for Jimbo's
Mysteries of the Unexplained.

One of our loyal viewers from South
Park, sent us some 8 millimeter film

of what he claims to be the Mexican
Staring frog of Southern Sri Lanka.

Now as you all know the Mexican
Staring frog of Southern SriLanka

can supposedly kill you
with one hoard daze.

If the person even so much as looks into the
frog's eyes, they can be paralyzed or even die.

And this film proves that that
frog may very well exist.

Now watch carefully, you're gonna
see the Mexican Staring Frog.

There! There, did you see it?
Roll that back again.

Now freeze it.

Well I'd like to know what all you skeptiks out
there say now. What do you think, Ned?

- I'm scared.
- Well be sure to join us next time,

we're so glad you spend your time with us, while
we slaughtered our way through nature's guts.

Come again and stay a while,

- we'll kill a lotmore living things and
make them bleed. - MMgood night.

And we're cut.
Great show guys.

Oh look who's here,
my little nephew Stanley.

So you interested in your uncle
Jimbo's big TV show, huh?

No, we have to do a
stupid report on Vietnam.

You and Ned are the only guys
we know who were there.

- Oh yeah we sure were.
- Was it fun?

Cartman! What kind of stupid ass
question is that. Of course it was fun!

Well sure Vietnam was fun, but not like going
to the circus fun, or fly fishin' in Montana fun.

No, Vietnam was more like shoving
shards of broken glass up your ass,

and then sittin' in a tub with
tobasco sauce fun.

Yeppers, that's where
me and Ned met.

I remember I just gotten
off the Ferris Wheel.

Oh boy what a
gorgious day.

Kurns get over here! The new privates are here.
I'm assigning one of them to you as a tranee.

- Ned Gurblansky reporting sir.
- Thanks Ned.

Now the bad guys have been spotted
about 10 clicks North of here.

I know that you and Kurns are
best suited to take em out.

- Are you up for it?
- Sir yes sir!

Standing without on, just me and
Ned to win the war for America.

- Pass me some cocoa will you Ned? - Certainly,
and would you like another muffin as well?

Why the hell not?
We're at war.

- Hey you know those things are bad for your
throat. - Naw, that's all lies. I'll be fine.

- Charlies at 2 o'clock!
- I see em! Drop the bomb!

- The bomb's not releasing!
- Oh no!

- It won't budge.
- We only have one option!

- What are you doing man? - We'll
have to take em out Ned, at all costs.

Die you red comi bastards!

Oh no! Out of ammo!

- We did it Ned! We killed the entire
Vietcong army! - Whoopie.

Let's get back to base camp. We can
ride the log ride before it closes.

- nd that's the way it happened boys.
- Whoa, Vietnam was sweet.

Great news guys. Your TV
show ratings have doubled!

- They've gone from 6 people, to 12!
- Holy smokes! We could get an emmy!

You've got to do it J, your ratings are being
killed by the Jimbo and Ned hunting show.

- But I don't really care about that.
- Well you better care Mr.Smartypants.

No ratings means no show.

If you want to keep reaching out to people,
you have to keep up with the times.

- Oh alright. - Alright
we're 10 seconds to air guys.

Remember, big, big , big!

And 5, 4, 3...

It's your hour of power, on midday
mountain cable access.

Put your hands together
and welcome

the only man in town who always has a
full in stock wine cellar, Jeeeeeeeeesus

Christ!

Uh...hi.

Ah, ye, yeah. Ok. Beggining today we're
taking the show in a new direction.

We've got some interesting people coming
on the show this week for you, our viewers.

Today's guest is TV's Gilligan,
Mr.Bob Denver!

Here is Bob Denver!

- Hi, Bob Denver.
- Hi, Jesus, great to be here.

- So Bob, so you just get in town?
- Yep, just got in.

- So..um...so what have you been up to?
- N..nothing. Nothing really at all.

Nothing from nothing means nothing.

You gotta have something...

And after killing the entire Vietcong
army, they returned to base camp.

Once there they rode the Devil's Drop
Rollercoaster, and ate cotton candy.

And ultimately, Ned got the purple heart
for his courageous defense of the log ride.

So was the horror
of Veitnam. The end.

- The end.
- Are there any questions?

- Yes Mr.Garrison? - Yes, uh where the fuck
did you hear this ridiculous load of bullshit?

From Veitnam veteran.

Well boys, it's obvious to me
that you didn't do your work

and that you stayed up all night
making up some ridiculous lie.

- No, no we didn't!
- You all receive an F... minus!

- F minus? Can he do that?
- But, but we're not making it up! It...

Stanley the Vietnam war was war. There weren't
galloping steeds or singing birds or logrides.

- How do you know? You weren't
even there! - Well that's it!

All of you have detention for
the rest of the week!

Welcome to detention, mmkay. Mr.Garrison
told me about your little joke.

So it's important for you all to
know why you're in detention

for you to obtain the full benfits from it.

You're here because you were inferior mmkay.
You're here because you're akward, mmkay.

Well thanks a lot for having such a cool
uncle that got us all detention for a week.

Yeah dude, your uncle
Jimbo sucks ass!

Why would he just invent a story
instead of telling us the truth?

Well let's see maybe because
he's an old drunk hillbilly dick!

- We've gotta get him back dude!
- Totally!

- How? - Well he screwed us by making
something up, I say we do the same thing!

- What do you mean? - Did you guys ever
see that one Brady Bunch where the guys...

Oh, yeah sweet.

Oh yeah sweet!

And now back to huntin' and killing with
South Park's favorite hunters, Jimbo and Ned!

Welcome hunters. Boy have
we got a show for you today.

We've just received a tape from
another viewer who filmed

the Mexican Staring frog of Southern
SriLanka right here in South Park.

Yes now we're about to roll
the film but remember,

if you look the Mexican Staring Frog
in the eyes, you can go catatonick.

We don't know if this applies to pictures of the
frog or not, but who wants to take chances?

So when we roll this film,
be sure to look away.

Ok, roll the film, Tom.

Is it over?

Ok, it's over.
Well there you have it.

Undeniable proof that the Mexican
Staring Frog of Southern SriLanka exists.

And you saw it here on
the Jimbo and Ned show.

- Dude, I can't believe they fell for it.
- Yeah, what a couple of dumbasses!

Yeah, they're a couple of
bitch ass motherfuckers!

- Come one we gotta go make
another one! - Lying kicks ass!

Jesus!

We're in trouble.
The Jimbo and Ned show,

they got some ridiculous staring frog story,
and jumped another 2 points in the ratings.

- Uh-oh. So what are we supposed
to do? - I don't know.

We'll have to continue with the changes
we've made and then... go even further.

- And we're back in 5, 4, 3...
- Remember, big big big!

If you're just joining us,
we've been listening to

Michelle's incredible story of
survival. Go on Michelle.

Well as I was sayin', I tried and tried but
my overturned car just wouldn't budge.

My husband was trapped
for 12 hours.

-And yet somehow he
managed to survive.

That's right. He's a very brave
man and I love him very much.

- I love you too. - Well, let's see
if the audience has any questions.

- Yes, you over there. - I think she
needs to kick him to the curb baby.

- Kick who to the curb?
- Her no good husband.

She's gotta loose that zero
and get herself a hero.

- But... - He wants to have
his cake and eat it too.

He's gotta dump that trash girlfriend.

It's all about respect, you gotta
have respect for yourself.

I think we've somewhat missed the
point here. Let's go to somebody else.

- Yes your comments. - Montel, I think
we're forgetting something

very important in all of this.

Ok, sure he touched
some children.

But the man is a great singer, and has
entertained us for so many years.

- What, what are
you talking about?

Michael Jackson. All this bad
mouthing, putting the man down,

maybe he did touch some children now
and then. But come on it's Michael Jackson!

Uh, we'll be back right
after these messages.

- Ready you guys?
- Ready! - Ok, action.

I am the deadly Mexican Staring
Frog of Southern Sri Lanka.

I am very scary,
and dangerous.

- Cut! Cartman!
- What?

- It's supposed to be a frog!
- I know that.

- Since when do frogs talk Cartman?
- It's a Sri Lanka frog!

- Durr Cartman!
- Durr yourself hippie!

- Just do it again Cartman and don't
make it talk! - Ok here we go. Ready?

- Are you ready Cartman?
- I'm ready Steven Spielberg!

- Action.
- Wehehe, screw you guys.

- But why do I have to dress up like an old lady?
- Cause old ladies are fat and you are too.

- Come on Cartman. The way we're shooting
this, nobody will even know it's you.

They better not.

When I yell action, you
start to walk this way.

And Kenny's gonna pull the plastic frog in
front of you and you have to be scared.

- Scared? Of a plastic frog?
- It's acting Cartman.

You have to pretend you're really
scared then the Mexican Staring Frog

will look you in the eyes then you fall
down like you're dead ok, ready?

- This is stupid.
- Good and action!

Well it appears as thought a lot of
you skeptics thought that the film

we showed of the Mexican Staring Frog
of Southern Sri Lanka was a fake.

They say it didn't harm anybody.

Well it just so happens that we just received another
film from another anonymous viewer. Roll it.

There you go. Proof that
not only is this frog real,

but it is doing harm to the people
of South Park as we speak.

- Mmdamn that frog.
- Well that does it.

All this week Ned and I will be risking
lives from him as we go on location

to hunt the Mexican Staring Frog of
Southern Sri Lanka. Join us won't ya.

Oh no no no, this is the biggest publicity stunt
I've ever seen. Damn those hunters are clever.

- Uh, clever?
- It's genious, it really is.

Hell I want to watch them hunt the
Mexican Staring Frog. Unless.

- Unless what? - Unless we can prove to the
world that the whole things is a sham.

If we prove that the Mexican Staring
Frog from Southern Sri Lanka

is just something made up
by Jimbo and Ned

we can have them taken off
the air perhaps even killed!

Look, why don't we just stick to our
own show? People will watch again.

Oh J, you are so omnipotent
and yet so naive.

We'll launch a full investigation and then in the
meantime we can cash in on the video tapes.

What video tapes?

- Yay my children, I am the way and the
light. - You've seen Jesus and pals,

now you've got to get the video.
Jesus and pals too hot for TV.

Things get a little out of control.
You won't believe your eyes!

Order now, only $19.95! Remember
this is stuff you can't see on TV!

- Anonymous tip? - Yeah it was
left on our answering machine.

All they said was that they saw
the Mexican Staring Frog

just South of Stark's
Pond this morning.

Hey Ned, remember that time we got
that anonymous tip back in Nam?

- You were in Nam? Where were
you statione? - MMDenang.

- With the log ride?
- Yep. - Man I was it Tet.

We had a bad ass rollercoaster,
but all we ever wanted was a log ride.

We waited and we waited,
but they never built us one.

I think Danforth wanted the log
ride more than anybody, but he,

he had to settle with that lame
dinosaur water adventure ride.

That war was hell
on everybody.

Ok, ok, ok bye. Great news everybody,
this week's ratings are through the roof!

We're up to 20 people!

- Wow! Do we get more money?
- No, but I do.

We're now the highest rated show
on mountain cable access.

God bless the
Mexican Staring Frog.

- Dude they're gonna look so stupid.
- Heh, totally.

- They diserve for lying to us, dude.
- Revenge is so very very sweet.

They're here, hurry and hide.

- Let's hunt. - We'll start with a 2-shot of you
and Ned getting your equipment together and..

- Jimbo look!
- Hit the deck!

- What is it? - It's him. The Mexican
Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka.

He's right over there
on that rock.

Dumbass! You've gotta keep your
eyes away from him! Stay down.

- Ned you take flight position, I'll try and keep
it turned away from you. - RRroger that.

Hello fellow hunters, have we
got a show for you today.

The Mexican Staring Frog is sunning
itself on a rock directly behind us.

We've gotta take the frog by surprise. I'm gonna
create a diversion using this incendiary device.

While Ned will ambush
him from the rear.

Now Ned, he's not looking! Quick
Ned, hit him with the shot gun!

Now Ned! Ned? Ned?

Oh no.

Come on Ned buddy,
snap out of it!

- Come back to me, buddy.
- You getting all this?

Hold on to your butts.

Take that you demon frog!

Ned, Ned, can you hear me? Quick, somebody
call and ambulance, this man is catatonick!

- Get the flight for life helicopter.
- Holy crap dude.

My pony boar was beat up pretty
bad. He kept saying "Stay Gold."

Aww Ned, if you can hear me,
you gotta snap out of it.

Cause if you don't I'll
never forgive myself.

Oh Stanley he's gone! My only
friend in the world is gone!

- Dude, he's ok. That frog
wasn't even real. - Look.

- Ahh! What the hell are you doing!
I almost looked right at it!

Dude, it's just a plastic frog,
it's not real, check it out.

- What? - We shot all those
videos and sent them in.

Yeah, we made the whole thing up.
It was all just a really, really, funny joke!

- You sent in those videos?!?!?
- Oh this is not good.

My best friend is a vegetable, and I'm gonna
be the laughing stock of South Park!

Oh come on, Ned's faking it!
That frog was just a piece of plastic.

Yeah, come on Ned,
quit faking.

You boys don't understand. Ned was so freaked
out by the idea of the Mexican Staring frog

that he must've set himself
into a deep coma.

It's a psychosomatic response! I couldn't
help over hearing your conversation just now.

- Who are you? - I produce a little TV show
called Jesus and Pals, you might've heard of it.

Your story's amazing. Full of jealoucy,
deplicity, backstabbing and bitterness.

Ahhhh... thanks?

How would you like to share your remarkable
story with us on tomorrow's show?

We're back with Jimbo and his nephew Stan.
These kids can't stop lying can they?

That's right Jesus,
no respect for their elders.

As some of you may know I
host a local show on hunting.

Thanks. We've been hunting the
Mexican staring frog for a week,

based on some video footage
we received from a viewer.

Well, it turns out that these
kids faked the footage.

- Is that true Stan? - It was just a joke.
We didn't think it would hurt anybody.

Uh, we'll find out more about
this debauchery when we return.

- And we're out.
- You're corpses up here.

- We need a lot more action from
everybody. - Like what?

Like go ahead and tell how your nephew
Stan takes drugs and worships Satan.

- Satan got it. - Whoa! I don't take drugs
and worship Satan! That's lying!

- Give your attention on medicine
you little fibber!

You kids, I didn't bring you on
this show to be boring!

- Somebody get pissed off and throw
a chair and Ned here! - Dibs!

Remember, you all start a fight after
the chair is thrown, that's your cue.

Welcome back to Jesus and Pals. Jimbo,
why do you think little Stanley lies?

I'll tell you why. Because he's on
drugs, and he worships the devil!

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

Wow, now Stanley, it sounds like your
uncle's really worried about you.

Well I only did it because...
he molested me!

- Why you little piece of crap.
- You big piece of crap!

That's it,
now I'm all pissed off!

- Take that hippie!
- Jesus, Jesus.

- Uh, ok ok, that's enough.
- Take that you asshole!

- What the fuck was that?
- Uh, let's watch the language people.

- Get outta here you bitch!
- Ay get off of him you fucking nutsack!

Let's all make our way
back to our seats.

- Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
- You bastards!

Let's all just make our
way back to our seats.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Jesus! What is wrong with you people??
Look around you Stanley.

Look at all the pain and suffering
your lie has caused.

Well we only did it cause
Jimbo lied to us first.

We had this report on the
Vietnam War for school,

and we interviewed Jimbo
about it and he made up

all this stuff about Vietnam
and he got us in trouble.

Hey now, everything I told you boys
about the war, actually happened.

Mr.Garrison said that there
was no way that you

could've defeated the entire
Vietcong army by yourself.

- The entire Vietcong army?? - I ah, well ok,
I migth've embelished the truth a little

- but that's different.
- Is it?

Well sure I mean,
well no I guess not.

- And as for you Stan, I think you
need to kick your drug habit...

Wait a second. I don't
take drugs, that was a lie.

- Wait, Jimbo made that up?
- No. Your producer did!

- She made Jimbo tell everybody
that I did drugs. - What?

During the break, your producer came over,
and told Jimbo what to say about me.

She told him to lie.
It's true she did.

- I'm such a tool.
- Oh really?

- Yeah then she told us to
throw a chair at Ned.

Yeah I didn't wanna do it Jesus,
they made me do that.

- Screw this show, I thought this was
all real. - Wait everybody, come back.

Don't feel too bad Montel. We all wanna
touch children sometimes, it's only natural.

Alright Stan, I was just trying
to tell a good story.

I never meant for you
boys to get in trouble.

Well we're sorry too uncle Jimbo.

We're sorry for making you look
stupid in front of the whole world.

Yeah, and we're sorry for turning
Ned into a vegetable. - Ahh he'll be fine.

I'll just take him home and
show him some good

hard core porn, he'll snap
right out of it, won't you Ned?

I want to appologize to all of you
for what happened in there.

In our competition for ratings we all lost sight of
why we got into showbusiness in the first place.

- Yeah, TV's and beer. - Actually I was
referring more to the persuit of truth,

well anyway I can't wait to get back to my old show
without all the glitz and ratings and producers.

- Wait a sec, where is your producer?
- I sent her away.

Sent her away where?

- What is this? What's happening??
- Welcome to my dominion!

Ah, take a load off,
put your feet up.

Me and Satan were just aboot to go
shopping for furniture. Come on Satan!

Ok honey.