Original subtitles

We must get out of here.

You're not that boy.

Oh, God, no.

And Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan has a plot to destroy all of humankind.

What is that striker up to?

No, we don't. We have got to go and kick some ass right now.

I'm in the count of three.

One, two, three.

Oh, believe you me.

The Dark Lord corrupts prenatal souls with a poison.

That poison has given us some mutants.

Kitty, where are you?

Right there.

Kitty. Kitty.

Oh, no.

Logan, this is very trouble.

I am afraid that I cannot, I cannot save her on my own. We must get our hands on

that weapon.

Stryker's weapon is too powerful.

I'm afraid that means we must call you know who. I'm gonna kill that son of a

bitch. Well, he's the only one who can help us now.

He is the only man for the job. I do have your fuckin' power inside of me,

dipshit. But I'm better than you.

These fuckin' things don't scare me. Laura, don't... Ah, jerk off to that

We must not fight.

For life is in our hands, Deadpool.

You are the only person right for this job with your, uh,

incredible sense of, uh, daring.

And your complete...

This respect for your own life. I think you'd be perfect.

I like to trust this fool with my lunchbox.

You still smell the same. You have no choice.

He's the only one that can get our weapon.

Your acting sucks for a porno.

Now, these guys don't understand. This is a fucking porno. Like, what's going

here? Right. Yeah, these guys really think they're in a movie or something.

is really good. Yeah, see?

All right, all right. Carry on.

The weapon, yes. Yes, the weapon. The weapon. And you all...

I'm not scared of those fucking things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Let me go do man job here. All right, Professor.

Au revoir, motherfuckers. He will get the weapon. And we

will see.

You can

put

those guns away.

Maybe bring this one out.

You don't have a problem with this?

Give me that folder.

What are you guys doing? What is going on here?

What is going on here?

I'm Catwoman. I come in peace. I'm here to save her.

No, we're here for the folder.

What?

What's that?

Hey. Hey. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Do it quickly. Don't talk about it. Don't think about it. Switch cocks.

Do it. Get on that fucking cock. Get on that fucking cock. All right?

Push him back in that chair.

Push him back. Push him back. Sit down.

You don't stop.

You know who I am. I know who you are.

I know who you are.

This was meant to happen too long ago.

Well, you better shut up and give me that cock.

Yeah. I see it. I see it. Yeah.

Can you fucking just be so fucking serious?

And then she escaped.

Do you want to be at the bottom? Who wants to be at the bottom?

It's so fucking tight.

I am a fucking cunt.

I am about to get fucked out of my fucking holes.

Yes, yes. Oh, fuck yes.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Give me those two fucking cunts.

Give me those two fucking cunts. Give me those two fucking holes up. Yeah.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Just like that.

Put your pussy back in my cup.

Put your pussy back in my cup. Put it back in my cup.

Shit, yes.

It's a fucking pussy.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, just like that, right? You're fucking lucky, you fucking asshole.

Yeah, let's do that again.

There you go.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Let's cut back in there.

Do that round again.

Yes, yes, yes.

Come here and fuck my fucking tight little cunt.

Yes.

I can't reach it.

I'm on

that

fucking journey. That'll fucking wire you.

It's fucking hot. Yes, yes.

Let's have some dogs.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Punisher, give us that fucking cum, please. Yes. Play with

those balls. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, give us that fucking cum.

That fucking hell.

About Stryker's new project.

That's for you two.

I'm done with you.

Six, nine, six, nine.

Holy shit, would you look at this shit.

Cheap lights, cords, shitty acting. This is a fucking cheap porno. No budget,

but what the hell. I'm Deadpool, motherfuckers. What are you doing here?

you get in here?

What do you mean?

How'd I get in here? Where the fuck have you been? You said you were leaving to

get tacos. I really love tacos. That was 24 hours ago.

Lots been going on. Dealing with Wolverine, Professor X, Strikers. A lot

going on. Fuck.

Wade Wilson.

Don't pull this on me. Okay? I've been lying here wet and ready for you.

And you have my chicken.

And she'll have my cock too. I don't care about your chicken.

This is why we don't tell anybody.

About that. Okay?

Yes. I have a total soul.

You know, my word is my honor.

Can we just do this already?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Well, I have to figure out where Stryker's keeping his secret weapon to

fucking X -Men out on this stupid fucking case. But hey, relax, relax.

I'm going to get us some tacos, okay? I'll be back.

He's got the best people on the job.

The best people?

Are you serious?

Deadpool is what you call the best people?

I know Deadpool can be somewhat of an ass clown sometimes, but... But what?

have left my life in the hands of a complete fucking idiot. A chimichanga

Logan, why are you even here? You should be the one that's out there looking for

Stryker. But I can't, Kitty.

Why can't you? I just can't.

I need to be here.

Don't you understand? What am I...

spell it out for you.

Because when you hurt, I hurt. And for some reason I feel like I need to be

here. Don't you understand?

Once you follow me.

I love you, baby.

I like my big tits, baby.

Yeah.

Thank you.

you, you, you, you, you, uh, uh, uh, uh, yes, uh,

yeah,

lick my ass, you slut, yeah, yeah, lick my fuckhole, yeah, uh,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, uh,

He doesn't even feel it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, naughty, naughty.

I'm worried.

Well, what are you doing here?

I'm looking for Deadpool.

Well, clearly he's not here. I'm waiting for him.

I'll see.

Maybe we can kill some time.

Well, what are you suggesting?

A little, uh... What do you like?

and a lucky day.

Yeah.

Give this note to the Punisher.

Oh, I will. He's a very good client of mine.

Anything else?

I have a message for you, too. Oh, you do?

Look at how hard

it is already.

I just want that big boy in my mouth.

Let me take it out of here.

Look at how hard it is already and I haven't even done anything.

and second at the same time.

Sorry, I'm coughing.

Thank you.

Just try to get nice and high at the same time.

Yeah.

Thank you.

It is your feet.

and hard and struggling.

You're going to heal anyway.

It's not that big of a deal.

By the way, Wolverine sent me here to protect your ass.

Well, if you haven't noticed, the Punisher killed our main lead, so I

how we're going to find Stryker, so I don't think it's very funny.

Don't you know what I'm trained for? I mean, wouldn't it just be great if this

dickweed happened to write down Stryker's safe house and put it down on

front pocket?

Go on.

Take a look.

Now,

uh,

I think it's time to talk about some, uh, recompensation.

What? Come on, now.

Don't make me ask you.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

Wow.

It's time for you to thank me for saving your life.

Oh, such a tease.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

talk about disappearing.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

oh my god oh shit

oh my god this is so good

See you.

I'm just gonna...

Yes.

Thank you.

How many you got coming? Four?

All right.

Password is suck my cock.

All right. I'll see you in a little bit.

It's going to be easy, easy.

Where do you think you're going? I'm a friend of Stryker. What's the password?

Balls. Wrong answer.

People think they can get in here without a buckle pad.

Oh, sure.

Hey, Rogue.

Oh, shit. Wade.

Yeah, it's good to see you too.

It's been, what, three years since the barbecue at Cable's summer house?

Did they send you after this laser thing of a bob tube?

Do you think they would trust you with Kitty's life?

A lot of men have died for this mission.

Really? Yeah.

Logan can't even shit right.

Jesus, that's messy.

I have no power anymore.

Did Striker use a gun on you? Yeah.

So you can't drain a life force with skin -to -skin contact anymore?

Guess not.

Have they fed you yet?

I'm starving.

Well, lucky for you, I smuggled in this chimichanga.

Chimichanga!

Lucky for me.

That's right.

Oh, shit.

Oh.

What?

Shut the fuck up

Thank you.

I fucking love the way you've got me.

Oh.

Now it's time to get the fuck out of here and kick Stryker's ass.

I need a little information.

I'm looking for Stryker.

I know where he's at, but why should I help you?

I can't have your soul.

You're right about that, but maybe there's something I can give you for

ticket.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

These titties, don't you?

Come here.

Come here.

Come here, baby. Come here, baby. Come here.

I like that. Yeah, I can't. These titties wrapped around my fucking hard

ears.

Yeah. Oh, no.

That's what you want.

I think we have ourselves a deal.

Daddy!

How'd you get in here?

I just saw you from a mile away.

Fuck you!

Holy cook of sons, Daddy!

I created you! Yeah, how beautiful, aren't I?

You're still ugly!

Well, goddamn!

I can take you out, too.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you, Deadpool, for saving my life.

No problem.

Thank you all.

And I'll be on my way to get some chimichangas because I'm crazy.

But I'll be seeing you again. I don't know about you.

You're fuckhole. It's mine.

That's right, babe. Thank you again.

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

It's a cool little cushion as well.

That cute stocking that he wears with the eye holes.

Oh, that's wonderful.