Original subtitles

There she is, our star of the hour. How are you doing tonight, Chyna?

Ben?

Stephanie. Well, it's good to see the McMacaronis all in one place.

Why is that, Chyna?

Well, that's because I can imagine smashing both your heads together in one

mushy mess without even traveling.

You're not still peeved about our little... You know it's not.

I mean...

Peeved since your daughter stole my man and peeved since your darling daughter

ruined my career because you had to back her up? Oh no, I'm not peeved. As a

matter of fact, peeved isn't even a word that I would even use.

What word would you use? I would use royally pissed.

Or maybe even a smooth homicidally vengeful. Yeah, that would be my feeling

towards you and your cross.

Clan.

Dad, China's being mean to me.

Now, now.

You two lovebirds break it up. We have business to tend to. Nothing to tend to,

okay? I already said that I would agree to your little fuck -a -thon.

Fuck -a -mania.

Yeah, whatever.

Hey, you asked me to come.

I came. Now, if you would do me the favor, okay, before I nail you and your

-bitch daughter to the floor, um, get the fuck out, okay, dick?

There is one other thing.

You see, you have to win Jizzapalooza. Otherwise, I just have a lot of dick

swinging in the wind with no pussy to cream on.

As much as Austin and Rock want to fuck each other, it ain't gonna happen. Not

on my watch.

Okay, what's the take?

Well, see, the change happens after you win the Jizzapalooza match.

See, I've decided to add one more fight.

This is going to be a real superstar matchup.

It's going to be you and two guys.

One you can beat, and one you can't.

Well, who are the two guys, and why can't I make them both come?

A is the prize, and B...

I promised this guy that he could win.

You see, he doesn't wrestle that much these days, and he wants to look good.

Whatever. Okay? You just don't make him jizz, and you double your rate.

Are we cool?

Great.

Catch your eyes.

Hold on a minute, scumbag.

The way I figure it is, if I can't make your mystery man a company, I'm losing

out on one last forecast.

And that would be unfair.

So we might have to do something about that.

What do you suggest?

I've got two words for you.

Get on your knees and suck it.

Daddy, we don't have to, do we?

Yes, honey.

Zoinks!

Never hear the end of it.

Yes, Dad.

because he did so good.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

I knew you'd do it this way. I wouldn't have canceled your contract so long ago.

Yeah.

right down there.

Yes.

Fuck yes,

yes

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, she feels so good, Daddy.

So good.

Take care of her.

Take care of her.

Mmm.

Yeah, take that. I got it. Come on. Yeah.

You love it. Come on. Uh -huh. Come on. Yeah.

Oh.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck yeah.

Rub that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, fuck. It's so deep, isn't it?

It's so deep.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so amazing. Come on, yeah.

It's so good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, fuck, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh,

yeah,

yes. Oh,

yeah, fuck, I don't like that. Come on.

Yeah. Vicky fucking come.

You like fucking my dad, don't you?

Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. Uh

-huh.

Yes. Yes. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Yes. Stay in that fucking pussy. Come on, girl.

Come on.

Oh, fuck yeah, Chyna. Yeah, make me cum. Come on. Oh,

yeah. Right there. Keep going.

Oh, here we go.

and welcome to the D 'Antonio Ballet Arena for the world's very first Puckle

Mania.

Tonight, we will be featuring two bouts. The first, a Jiu -Jitsu loser

extraordinaire, featuring the one and only Chyna.

Doing bouts with the most talented bunch of dick -slingers the wrestling world

has ever known.

Whoever wins the Jiu -Jitsu loser will then go on to the second bout of the

evening, the Puckle Mania Championship.

that will pit the winner of the first match against not one, but two of the

legendary names in all of wrestling.

This promises to be an electric pair of matchups, featuring more jizz on the

floor than my apartment after a Golden Girls marathon.

So without further ado,

out tough with one giant squat bra.

Let him hear it.

Rhett is allergic to sunlight. That's why he wears his sunglasses everywhere

goes. He hails from the first family of wrestlers straight out of Canada,

trained by his father, Stuart, who also has a massive cock.

Flex it up. He buys his underwear three sizes too small.

He's got moves like the backward double dip.

Guys, it took Bret Hart seven years to write his autobiography, and it was a

-up book.

It's four pages long.

Once he wrestled, then he didn't, then he did. The end.

He punched his air.

He doesn't care.

He's Bret Hart.

La, la, la, la, la, I am Steve.

La, la, la.

This guy doesn't mind being hated.

And he also doesn't mind being fellaciated.

That's a word, people. That's a word.

Good Lord, was he just trying to talk? That was horrific.

This guy's no stranger to being booed. He's also no stranger to boning.

Look at that package.

The man with the golden diaper.

And the bun's a seal.

He points in anger. He flexes in happiness.

Enough with the working out the legs. We get it. This guy's loud, obnoxious, and

stupid.

Kiss those guns.

Brush those teeth.

Say hi, I'm Keith.

The man in the shorts, John Cena.

Go, John Cena!

Nice pajamas.

I guess with the camo shorts and the hat, and then you wave your hand.

That's some serious hiding technique. And he likes to pretend he's in the

military. Because if you look at him close, you must be a really... Oh, well,

the salute proves you're really in the military.

This man put out a rap album.

Ah, you can't see me. So apparently it's a theme with this guy.

Oh,

he is the champion indeed.

Never had a cooking show, but he loves talking about what's in his kitchen.

The Rock!

Look at that gut, ladies!

And what a keen sense of smell he has!

He smells pussy and yet there's only two ladies in the house tonight!

Those two ladies are indeed getting far!

Don't call Steve Austin!

Don't call Steve Austin Stone Boom!

Fuck it!

Drink beer! Quote the Bible! This guy's a mystery!

Look at him! Got him off the weight there since the last time he's wrestled.

But I know he's badass still.

And he loves giving the finger.

Watch your ass, China.

Oh, it's the Predator from Planet Weirdo.

Look at him go.

Oh, he does, in fact. Is he doing the robot?

Who is this fucking guy?

With the ultimate dickbag.

Oh, I really hope this guy doesn't get any.

Nobody likes clowns, motherfucker.

What? What's this?

Oh, no!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Unbelievable!

Not supposed to be here tonight, but showed up anyway!

Triple H!

The badass in the black bikini briefs with the elbow pads and the niaboo.

He's kinda sick.

So who knows what could happen? Things could get thrifty.

But he is down to fuck.

Take a bow, buddy.

Stimulate these business.

Stay hydrated, buddy. You're going to be losing a lot of fluid.

Wardrobe, let's get a look at that mustache.

This is going to get rough.

Let's get busy.

Bend the fake bar for us one more time.

Oh, good lord, this is the ring?

Here it is.

This is like basically a king -sized bed, ladies and gentlemen.

And they are going to do some damage.

Here she is, the lady of the evening.

What we've all been waiting for.

Rubbing our cocks in anticipation.

Getting busy.

She doesn't care. She'll take them all.

China!

Oh, that is some fuckable ass.

Oh, doctor, look at those legs.

They're torn for miles.

Only the clown gets hurt too.

I am sheep of some of those titties.

And breath a hitman hug. Oh, she goes to town on the sheep's balls.

Oh, she's up again.

She doesn't care. Wrap it up, wrap it up.

Oh, yes, it punched. Nobody likes a clown, I told you that. She punched the

clown. And now the rock is getting his dig.

Better get that finger around for the rusty nail.

Oh, she's feeling it, ladies.

Oh, look at this.

She's moving on to Stone Cold Prison, Pat.

I don't know what this is. It looks pretty horny, though.

He calls this the Bronco Bucker.

John Cena. Hey, where's your middle part, Cena?

Oh, there they are.

Yeah, those camouflage shorts ain't hiding anything anymore.

Press a hit, man. Oh, what? That was a weird move.

A lot of rubbing.

Should have done leg lifts before this.

Oh, my God.

Looks like this match is getting underway.

Yes, sir.

Fuck me.

I love my fucking wife.

Oh yeah, baby.

So fucking deep. Take my balls.

Let me see your tongue.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah, stay there.

on her face.

Yeah.

All the way.

Smack it, fellas.

Smack that fucking little bitch.

Big tough China.

Big fucking tough China.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Blow the clown. No, no, blow the clown.

Open your mouth.

I give everyone that little mouth.

put in my mouth.

You want to come?

Dare you.

Dare you. Do it.

Yeah.

He wants to come.

Do it. You want to come?

You do?

Oh, God.

Fuck her.

No, don't you grab her.

Don't you grab her.

She's slipping, she's slipping. Yeah, don't hurt her. Fuck me, fuck me.

Fuck me hard.

We all heard her. Oh.

This is big.

Roll.

Come on. Yeah, fuck that shit. Come on.

Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, my God.

Tightest dial, baby.

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

China is being banged from every direction, just like Mormons putting up

It's something you have to see.

Amazing.

He's quiet.

Oh, she's mean, too!

What do you mean?

Get the fuck out.

Hold it.

Hold it. Hold your leg. Hold your leg. Get it real open.

Lean back, baby. Lean back. There you go.

You want every dick in you? Yes, I do.

Say it.

Say it. I want every dick in me. There you go. I do.

It feels so good.

It feels so good. It feels so good. Oh, my God. Get it too far.

Oh, shit.

It seems like the rock's eyes are more in Austin's ass than China's pussy.

John Cena is fucking away just like a military man.

1 -2, 1 -2, 1 -2, 1 -2, 1 -2, 1 -2.

It looks like Stone Cold will not be able to hold out much longer.

Tell me one.

No. Oh.

I don't tell anybody that we're here, because I'll get fired.

Look at that, that is lovely.

Wow, beautiful.

That is a bucket.

Way down here.

Oh, honey, baby.

Stop that booty dance. We're starting to splinter right cheek.

Oh.

The booty dance again.

So do I keep it here honey? Yeah.

yellow shorts yellow boots this man meet business.

He wrestled the great Andre the Giant, Big John Stood, Axel Jim Chuggin, the

ultimate warrior, Randy Macho Man Savage.

But he has remained, and will always be, one of the greatest wrestlers of our

generation, and generation to follow, Hulk Hogan!

I'm not wrestling, but I love fucking, and this man is going to do a little bit

of both tonight.

You get him, Hulkster!

The crowd goes crazy.

This is going to be the greatest event you have ever witnessed between any

wrestler and one giant pussy.

Good Lord, he's still at it. Look at him go. He just threw his shirt to a caring

audience member.

There's going to be some fucking and some pinning and some stretching and

more fucking.

He's looking good.

This is fantastic.

not tell me who is going to be here tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, he's classic like an old car,

like an old airplane, like an old movie, but like a brand new Ric Flair.

You heard it. Look at that robe.

Classy. Look at that hair.

Whatever. Look good.

She's a palooza.

This is going to be the ultimate match.

And we are off to a great start here.

It is on. We are underway.

Oh, San Fernando Valley, what is going on?

What's taking so long? Where's China?

It's time for the main event.

Hello there.

I love you I love you

Okay.

20. Say 20. 20. 19.

18.

19. 12.

17. 17.

16.

17. 14.

13.

What's the deal?

It is time for the main event.

Oh, what?

Get an old boat?

Here she is, ladies and gentlemen.

Shida!

Time to get bogged.

What is this move?

Very curious.

Ta -ta, two dicks in her mouth.

Perfect.

Time for the main event, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to take it down to

golf voice now.

Hulk Hogan has his penis out.

As does Ric Flair. They both whispering, suck that cock, suck that cock.

Yes, keep jerking it, Ric.

Oh, yeah. Oh, and Hulk Hogan is wasting no time just slamming it home.

It's a real hole in one. You know what I mean. Oh, what's up? Oh, Ric is working

the trap.

He's working the trap. Yep, Ric is indeed keeping up.

His erection.

Manual.

Hulk Hogan does this automatically.

Oh, they've changed positions now. Oh, and Hulk is just grabbing that big old

kit.

Removing the corset that was... Oh, banking actually literally just...

Hulk Hogan banks the corset.

And then Ric Flair got angry and said, don't stop.

I will slap my cock under a tit.

And you will continue to suck on this little cock as I keep

just fucking your one tit.

These are things that if a regular person did to a woman, it would be time

close doors.

The woman would be very angry.

Oh, yeah.

Let me tell you something, China. We have to have a conversation.

Yes. You and I.

Let's do that.

You never loved me.

That's what I'm talking about, brother.

I don't fucking feel my cut.

Ugh.

Good.

Fuck, they're hot.

Fuck yeah.

Oh, you fucking ass. This is fucking good. Fuck.

What are you talking about?

We're gonna keep her down.

She's struggling hard.

Ah! Ah!

Ah!