All language subtitles for SE Aliens vs The Magician XXX (Paròdia)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:44,920 You know what? 2 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:52,980 This is kind of scary, but as a magician, I do counseling, and we were 3 00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:59,000 what we call a camp meeting, which basically consists of eight, nine men, 4 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:03,080 strip nude, and we go to the woods because we have cabins out there in the 5 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:08,240 woods. And, you know, it's just guys in the name of Jesus holding hands. 6 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,960 We may be nude, but there's nothing gay about it. We may be nude. 7 00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:17,420 But all of a sudden, out of this creepy, willowy woods, during the prayer 8 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:22,660 circle, we started to see like this light kind of come down 9 00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:26,420 and then like land right there. 10 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,140 And they asked me jokingly, you're a magician, did you make these appear? 11 00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:36,860 And I said, no, I'm a Christian and they make me feel fear. I was afraid of it. 12 00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,920 So immediately the prayer circle broke up. 13 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,380 And there we were standing there nude. 14 00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:46,080 No, no, there wasn't an erection. We were standing there nude. 15 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:53,180 And all of a sudden, I started to see these like creepy glowing images that, 16 00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:56,200 shit, I'm getting fucking nervous even talking about it. 17 00:04:57,020 --> 00:05:03,440 We started to see this like glowing, I don't know, it kind of looked like, I 18 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,440 don't know, like. 19 00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:12,720 Praise the Lord, like a rave. They were like ravers. They were glowing with pink 20 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:19,420 and purple and gay greens and greens and blues that just kind of seemed to 21 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:23,740 mesh into one another. And I think they're still fucking watching me right 22 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:26,980 I get nervous, you know, because I can't make them disappear. 23 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:35,140 I kind of settled down a bit, you know, once I have a... 24 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:39,150 At least found one friend of mine that, you know, would even give me a ride 25 00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:44,210 because I was just kind of wandering, aloofed and out there. And all I could 26 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:50,010 really remember was the glowing vagina shining down on me. 27 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:56,150 And the next thing I knew is like, motherfucker, I was like, not even 28 00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:59,230 was somewhere. I thought maybe I had been knocked unconscious. 29 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:04,150 Check it out. They had motherfucking zebra pillows on the fucking couch. 30 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:09,770 I mean, I haven't even seen it. I thought that when I did come back that I 31 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:14,770 actually in the 70s once I found out that I wasn't because the room was so 32 00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:18,290 fucking ugly and tacky. You should have seen the fucking artwork in there. The 33 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:23,890 artwork looked like a motherfucking chimpanzee got a goddamn paintbrush and 34 00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:24,890 to town on it. 35 00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:31,570 Shit. I almost felt like the 500 -year -old Barry Wyatt. 36 00:06:32,190 --> 00:06:38,850 And then the next thing I fucking know comes this sweet, hot, fucking juicy, 37 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:41,870 tasty, deliciously delight. 38 00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:48,870 Miss Kitty. I call her Miss Kitty because I think she helped me get packed 39 00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:52,510 the real world. Miss Kitty did. And all she had to use was her vagina. 40 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,440 Thank you. 41 00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:35,420 Oh, yeah. 42 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,880 uh -huh 43 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,680 Bye. Bye. 44 00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,660 um 45 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,260 I'm gonna play with my phone. 46 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,560 Thank you. 47 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,280 Hmm. 48 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:28,600 Thank you. 49 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,880 Thank you. 50 00:29:21,770 --> 00:29:22,770 Thank you. 51 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:08,760 And I'm just like motherfucking banging away on her and her fucking ass was like 52 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:14,680 hitting my fucking right in my fucking cock and You 53 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:21,000 know what I like I really exploded right in her fucking face, 54 00:30:21,460 --> 00:30:23,660 but you know when she didn't swallow 55 00:30:24,590 --> 00:30:28,810 I kind of knew that I had been taken back in time because when I was on that 56 00:30:28,810 --> 00:30:35,490 spacecraft 500 years ago, 500 years ago from now, I mean, those glowing, and I 57 00:30:35,490 --> 00:30:41,310 do hope it was a woman, glowing alien race people, when they would give me a 58 00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:46,890 blowjob on the ship, they would swallow it and you could actually see the cum go 59 00:30:46,890 --> 00:30:51,510 from their mouth and right down their throats into their bellies because their 60 00:30:51,510 --> 00:30:52,790 skin was like transparent. 61 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:58,230 And let me tell you, when I was like tagging that fucking pussy, just pile 62 00:30:58,230 --> 00:31:04,030 driving it motherfucking in there, I was on top of the motherfucking world. On 63 00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:05,550 top of the motherfucking world. 64 00:31:05,990 --> 00:31:06,990 Do you have magic shoes? 65 00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:08,710 Yeah, a lot of magic. 66 00:31:09,310 --> 00:31:11,930 Are you ready to lose some more pounds? 67 00:31:12,150 --> 00:31:12,889 I am. 68 00:31:12,890 --> 00:31:14,030 You gotta believe. 69 00:31:14,490 --> 00:31:15,490 You believe? 70 00:31:15,590 --> 00:31:16,590 I believe. 71 00:31:16,650 --> 00:31:17,650 Do I have to clap my hands? 72 00:31:17,990 --> 00:31:19,230 No, not exactly. 73 00:31:19,690 --> 00:31:22,130 I have to clap my heels. My heels. I can clap my heels. 74 00:31:23,100 --> 00:31:24,100 Not quite. 75 00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:26,740 Touch my nose? 76 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:30,960 Squat and cough? 77 00:31:32,340 --> 00:31:33,440 Really don't know, do you? 78 00:31:33,980 --> 00:31:34,980 Uh -uh. Okay. 79 00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:37,920 Well, first, you've got to give me your hand, and we're going to teleport. 80 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:39,880 Teleport? Yes. 81 00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:41,140 Is that a new kind of phone? 82 00:31:41,820 --> 00:31:42,819 Kind of. 83 00:31:42,820 --> 00:31:44,880 Okay. All right, now listen. This is what we're going to do. 84 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:54,680 They got banished. 85 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,220 You banished them? 86 00:31:56,460 --> 00:31:58,460 Yeah. Fairies don't wear pants. 87 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,660 So really that's what I have to do to lose those last extra calories? 88 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:03,579 That's it. 89 00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:04,720 Burn those pounds off? 90 00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:06,100 Mm -hmm. 91 00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:07,500 That's it. 92 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:08,880 Okay. 93 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:10,860 There 94 00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:17,640 you 95 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:18,640 go. 96 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,280 You know what you're doing. 97 00:32:54,260 --> 00:32:55,239 Workout fairy? 98 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,660 What? Your cock is huge. 99 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,120 That's why you have to earn off those extra pounds. 100 00:33:29,750 --> 00:33:30,750 Oh, shit. 101 00:33:31,490 --> 00:33:33,650 Oh, my God. 102 00:33:35,210 --> 00:33:36,410 You're doing a great job. 103 00:33:36,690 --> 00:33:37,710 Oh, the hand exercise. 104 00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:39,050 Yeah. Oh, my God. 105 00:33:39,490 --> 00:33:41,550 There you go. Like a dumbbell. 106 00:33:41,790 --> 00:33:42,790 There you go. 107 00:33:43,410 --> 00:33:44,630 Like that shaky thing on TV. 108 00:33:44,990 --> 00:33:46,610 Yeah, that shaky thing. Oh, my God. 109 00:33:47,410 --> 00:33:48,410 Oh, 110 00:33:49,230 --> 00:33:50,230 shit. 111 00:34:36,790 --> 00:34:37,790 Tongue exercises? 112 00:34:38,429 --> 00:34:40,290 Almost got slapped in the face by your cock. 113 00:35:05,260 --> 00:35:06,038 Oh, my God. 114 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,280 Oh, sit down. 115 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,320 Terry wants the rest of the bones. 116 00:35:12,020 --> 00:35:13,520 Perfect, because my knees hurt. 117 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:15,600 Oh, yeah. 118 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,120 Oh. 119 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:20,680 Oh. 120 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,220 Oh. Oh. 121 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,200 Oh. 122 00:35:26,540 --> 00:35:28,020 Oh, my God. 123 00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:30,600 Oh, fuck. 124 00:35:31,740 --> 00:35:32,780 Let's pray you back. 125 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,080 Oh. 126 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:47,840 Oh, my God. 127 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:50,600 Oh. 128 00:35:51,660 --> 00:35:52,660 Oh, 129 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,380 fucking hell. 130 00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:01,640 That's so good. Jesus Christ. 131 00:36:03,380 --> 00:36:08,440 Thanks. Oh, I think it's my turn to return the favor. 132 00:36:08,740 --> 00:36:09,740 Return the favor? Yes. 133 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,660 Am I still going to be working out? Yes. 134 00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:13,300 Here, lay down. 135 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,180 Lay down? Oh, yeah. This way. 136 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,320 There you go. 137 00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:21,340 It looks like yoga? Yes, just like yoga. 138 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:23,040 Yeah. 139 00:37:48,750 --> 00:37:49,750 part of your workout. 140 00:39:26,730 --> 00:39:27,730 Oh. 141 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:29,680 Let me brace myself. 142 00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:32,580 Okay. 143 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,480 Oh, my God. 144 00:42:35,740 --> 00:42:36,980 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 145 00:42:37,540 --> 00:42:41,080 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. 146 00:42:41,460 --> 00:42:44,420 It's the best workout that I've ever done. You got the best pussy. 147 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:41,600 That's the last exercise and you get the you get the golden reward at the end 148 00:49:08,170 --> 00:49:09,170 Provide me. 149 00:49:09,230 --> 00:49:10,230 Provide me. 150 00:49:10,890 --> 00:49:11,890 Provide me. 151 00:49:14,530 --> 00:49:15,530 Jesus, 152 00:49:19,050 --> 00:49:20,050 fuck. 153 00:49:22,450 --> 00:49:25,570 Fuck yeah. 154 00:49:38,510 --> 00:49:39,610 Oh, my God. 155 00:49:39,870 --> 00:49:45,070 Oh, shit. 156 00:49:49,210 --> 00:49:53,470 I need my lunges. I need my lunges. 157 00:49:53,750 --> 00:49:59,970 I can't help it. 158 00:53:22,060 --> 00:53:27,620 So fucking nervous. I didn't smoke 300, 400 years ago. I didn't fucking smoke. 159 00:53:28,220 --> 00:53:33,820 And if they're watching me bang these fucking magic groupies, I didn't know 160 00:53:33,820 --> 00:53:37,640 was up. I mean, I felt like possibly, you know, are they going to send in an 161 00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:40,140 anal probe, you know, probe my anus? 162 00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:45,180 But, you know, that was the scary part with them watching. 163 00:53:45,700 --> 00:53:49,680 And the thing is, is you kind of know that they were watching you. 164 00:54:21,650 --> 00:54:23,050 Okay, Ma. 165 00:54:26,830 --> 00:54:30,350 and go back down to earth and fuck all the bitches like you fuck? 166 00:54:31,450 --> 00:54:34,970 I'm Asian. 167 00:54:37,890 --> 00:54:39,990 You got a deal, buddy. 168 00:54:43,590 --> 00:54:44,910 When do I go back home? 169 00:54:50,090 --> 00:54:51,090 Sounds good. 170 00:54:51,710 --> 00:54:53,130 Be back, motherfucker. 171 00:55:11,780 --> 00:55:13,140 Wow, I don't know. 172 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,000 Do any of these paintings have a date on them? No. 173 00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:18,840 Oh boy. 174 00:55:19,980 --> 00:55:22,700 So what you guys want to do now and stuff? 175 00:55:36,799 --> 00:55:42,660 I think we went back in time. I think you're not an old man anymore. 176 00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:43,860 Maybe not. 177 00:55:44,020 --> 00:55:45,460 Let me see the top of your head. 178 00:56:07,720 --> 00:56:08,740 And he might be black. 179 00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:14,000 No, I'm just saying it gets so dark when I turn... Oh, man. 180 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:16,180 I'm going to turn Brazilian. 181 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:18,560 Bronze. Bronze. Bronze. 182 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,640 You know what a good way to turn bronze is? 183 00:56:22,860 --> 00:56:23,860 What? 184 00:56:24,340 --> 00:56:27,000 Sucking Ralphie's penis while he's wearing a Brazil shirt. 185 00:56:27,340 --> 00:56:28,760 Right? Let's do it. 186 00:56:29,500 --> 00:56:30,700 Representation right here. 187 00:56:32,820 --> 00:56:35,560 Why does my dick have lipstick on it already? 188 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,400 Did she already suck my... Do you want to talk in the future? In the past. In 189 00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:40,158 the past? 190 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:41,260 No, we went in the past. 191 00:56:41,660 --> 00:56:43,780 No, we were in the future. Now we're in the past. 192 00:56:44,820 --> 00:56:49,080 I guess Doc Brown has Marty McFly. I got you two. 193 00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,220 Help a man out. 194 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,480 Is her blowjob the same in the past and the future? 195 00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:17,540 Yes. It's still good? 196 00:58:17,860 --> 00:58:19,060 It's still dangerous. 197 00:58:20,060 --> 00:58:22,700 It's like a fine wine. It gets better over time. 198 00:58:45,980 --> 00:58:48,140 um um 199 01:00:15,500 --> 01:00:16,500 I think that's all fair. 200 01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:25,000 I think it's time to lose the dress. 201 01:14:35,449 --> 01:14:41,850 You know, magic has been always the thing that I love really in life. I 202 01:14:41,850 --> 01:14:43,910 love the magic that I do. 203 01:14:44,130 --> 01:14:45,310 And let me tell you something. 204 01:14:45,750 --> 01:14:51,110 You know, when I'm transporting people, that was my biggest, my biggest trick of 205 01:14:51,110 --> 01:14:56,510 them all was teleportation. And I could just like, boom, zip up people. Boom, 206 01:14:56,590 --> 01:14:58,030 zip them up. But you know what? 207 01:14:59,230 --> 01:15:01,550 We just wanted to fuck the girls. 208 01:15:02,360 --> 01:15:06,960 Magic groupies. You know how like rock bands will have groupies? Well, 209 01:15:06,960 --> 01:15:08,040 have groupies too. 210 01:15:08,300 --> 01:15:13,100 And it's like Alakawala Kazam make it appear right in their fucking ear. 211 01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:20,060 But I don't know, man. There was something about teleporting women that 212 01:15:20,620 --> 01:15:26,680 really, really made me feel real good about it because I was so good. I was so 213 01:15:26,680 --> 01:15:29,380 good at teleportation in the fucking... 214 01:15:41,640 --> 01:15:43,520 Jeez, we missed. Can I ask you a question? 215 01:15:43,780 --> 01:15:45,600 Go for it. How much does a polar bear weigh? 216 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,800 What? Enough to break the ice. How you doing? 217 01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:50,940 I'm good. How are you? I'm Ralph. 218 01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:52,780 Good to meet you, Ralphie. I'm James. 219 01:15:53,040 --> 01:15:54,040 I'm a magician. 220 01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:55,480 Oh. Do you like magic? 221 01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:57,880 What? Do you like magic? 222 01:15:58,300 --> 01:15:59,300 Um, sure. 223 01:15:59,840 --> 01:16:01,340 Do you want to see a magic trick? 224 01:16:01,620 --> 01:16:04,480 Yeah. All right. Okay. Close your eyes. 225 01:16:04,700 --> 01:16:06,240 Give me your hand for a second. What are you going to do? 226 01:16:06,460 --> 01:16:07,460 Trust me on this. 227 01:16:07,560 --> 01:16:09,180 I don't know you. Come on, please. 228 01:16:09,560 --> 01:16:10,560 Trust me. 229 01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:11,760 Come in here. 230 01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:13,820 I'll show you the best trick of your life. 231 01:16:14,040 --> 01:16:15,040 Close your eyes. 232 01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:17,720 Are you ready for this, baby? 233 01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:19,240 Yes. Okay. 234 01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:20,700 You've got to believe in it. 235 01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:22,000 Okay. You ready? Yes. 236 01:16:22,280 --> 01:16:23,420 Now close your eyes. All right. 237 01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:26,640 On the count of three, you're going to see something special. 238 01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:27,880 Okay. 239 01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:30,960 One, two, three. 240 01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,560 Poof. 241 01:16:37,060 --> 01:16:38,060 Check it out. 242 01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:40,320 Oh, my gosh. Where am I? 243 01:16:40,620 --> 01:16:41,620 It's magic. 244 01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:44,560 This is the secret sex lair, baby. 245 01:16:47,720 --> 01:16:48,960 What? See? 246 01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:50,240 Isn't that chick good? 247 01:16:50,880 --> 01:16:52,040 Oh my gosh. 248 01:16:53,180 --> 01:16:54,180 That's crazy. 249 01:16:54,620 --> 01:16:55,599 Crazy, huh? 250 01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:56,600 How'd you do that? 251 01:16:56,860 --> 01:16:58,200 It's magic. Magic? 252 01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:00,440 You see another trick? 253 01:17:00,960 --> 01:17:02,720 Okay. Ready? 254 01:17:02,940 --> 01:17:03,940 Yeah. 255 01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:07,880 Now do you believe in magic, baby? 256 01:17:13,260 --> 01:17:14,260 It's real. 257 01:17:15,620 --> 01:17:16,620 Wow. 258 01:17:16,960 --> 01:17:17,739 That's right. 259 01:17:17,740 --> 01:17:20,620 It is. This is the best type of workout you could ever get. 260 01:17:20,860 --> 01:17:23,400 I feel a blood pumping in that too. That's right. Oh, shit. 261 01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:26,180 So what do you think? 262 01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:27,880 What do I think? 263 01:17:43,019 --> 01:17:44,760 Jesus. Oh, my God. 264 01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:47,280 You like those? I do. 265 01:17:47,980 --> 01:17:50,000 Ooh. This is some pear. 266 01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:13,680 They're huge. 267 01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:15,000 They're cute, right? 268 01:18:19,960 --> 01:18:20,960 Well, 269 01:18:25,880 --> 01:18:28,540 let me see you take off something. 270 01:18:28,820 --> 01:18:30,620 If I'm going to take off my shirt. Okay. 271 01:19:00,750 --> 01:19:01,750 Let me check this out. 272 01:19:01,950 --> 01:19:03,050 It is, baby. 273 01:19:05,630 --> 01:19:07,110 Oh, my gosh. 274 01:19:09,090 --> 01:19:10,290 Look at that cock. 275 01:19:12,110 --> 01:19:13,370 Oh, my God. 276 01:19:14,930 --> 01:19:15,629 Oh, 277 01:19:15,630 --> 01:19:24,770 shit. 278 01:19:27,770 --> 01:19:29,530 Did you pull that trick with a lot of girls? 279 01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:33,000 Just the special ones. Just the special ones. I like that. 280 01:19:34,380 --> 01:19:35,380 Oh, 281 01:19:35,700 --> 01:19:42,220 shit. 282 01:19:47,420 --> 01:19:48,680 Goddamn. You know what to do. 283 01:20:07,180 --> 01:20:09,260 Now that I have to get this cock wide open inside of me. 284 01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:10,480 Oh my god, yeah. 285 01:20:13,160 --> 01:20:16,180 Oh my 286 01:20:16,180 --> 01:20:22,240 god. 287 01:20:24,620 --> 01:20:27,420 Oh, so good. You like that? Oh yeah. 288 01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:44,160 oh my god 289 01:20:44,160 --> 01:21:00,040 getting 290 01:21:00,040 --> 01:21:05,520 it all warmed up now oh jesus it's so good 291 01:21:24,240 --> 01:21:25,240 Ho ho ho. 292 01:23:28,590 --> 01:23:29,590 No. 293 01:25:46,470 --> 01:25:47,470 Magic Pussy, baby. 294 01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:13,980 There you go. 295 01:31:50,670 --> 01:31:55,390 that's right oh that's a magic pussy 296 01:31:55,390 --> 01:32:02,210 it is oh my god enjoy 297 01:32:02,210 --> 01:32:03,210 it 298 01:32:21,100 --> 01:32:22,800 I feel tight, man. Oh, yeah. 299 01:32:23,580 --> 01:32:24,580 Oh, yeah. 300 01:32:25,240 --> 01:32:26,240 He does that. 301 01:32:26,340 --> 01:32:27,380 I don't feel like it. 302 01:32:27,980 --> 01:32:29,160 But it feels really good. 303 01:32:29,860 --> 01:32:31,420 I put the tightness up. 304 01:32:32,260 --> 01:32:33,660 Oh, shit. 305 01:32:34,900 --> 01:32:36,120 Oh, yeah. 306 01:32:37,100 --> 01:32:38,460 Oh, shit. 307 01:32:38,840 --> 01:32:40,640 Oh, yeah, baby. 308 01:32:41,420 --> 01:32:45,080 Oh, yeah, keep going. Keep going. Right there, right there, right there. Oh, 309 01:32:45,080 --> 01:32:46,520 yeah, give it to me. Come on. Come on. 310 01:32:46,980 --> 01:32:48,980 Yeah, shove it in there. Right there. 311 01:34:21,490 --> 01:34:22,490 Suck it, baby. 312 01:34:25,010 --> 01:34:27,350 Fuck you. 313 01:34:34,190 --> 01:34:36,590 You want to sit on this, baby? Yeah, I want to sit on it. 314 01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:31,640 Magic pussy. 315 01:38:31,980 --> 01:38:33,020 Magic pussy. 316 01:38:33,720 --> 01:38:34,940 Holy shit. 317 01:38:35,700 --> 01:38:37,180 And she can blow bubbles. 318 01:38:38,040 --> 01:38:40,960 Oh, my God. 319 01:38:43,180 --> 01:38:44,520 I'd make it disappear, too. 320 01:38:47,220 --> 01:38:50,920 Ready to go home, baby? 321 01:38:51,640 --> 01:38:52,640 How do we do that? 322 01:38:53,120 --> 01:38:54,720 Close your eyes and count to three. 323 01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:15,900 But it was a good fucking life. Being popular and having groupies and just, 324 01:39:15,900 --> 01:39:22,320 know, it was like fucking great. It was like Jesus was delivering me. Jesus did 325 01:39:22,320 --> 01:39:23,480 bring me this. 326 01:39:23,720 --> 01:39:25,220 And I was good with God. 327 01:39:25,600 --> 01:39:30,720 But you know what? Like any fucking thing else in this life, all of a sudden 328 01:39:30,720 --> 01:39:34,580 everything just goes to fucking shit. Everything goes to shit. 329 01:39:34,800 --> 01:39:38,770 The next thing I know, I'm like, bam! Banned from Magic Castle. 330 01:39:39,050 --> 01:39:40,710 And banned from here. 331 01:39:40,970 --> 01:39:45,590 And you're not allowed to play here. Because people won't fucking come and 332 01:39:45,590 --> 01:39:52,210 me. Well, let me fucking tell you. It was just a small, just a small drop to 333 01:39:52,210 --> 01:39:56,650 into the booze and the fucking drugs. Because I was already into the 334 01:39:56,650 --> 01:40:01,510 motherfucking whores. Because we could fuck whores whenever we wanted to. All 335 01:40:01,510 --> 01:40:02,510 a sudden, no pussy. 336 01:40:02,810 --> 01:40:03,890 I'm boozy. 337 01:40:05,160 --> 01:40:09,940 half a motherfucking liter, three liters, four fucking liters, smoking 338 01:40:10,500 --> 01:40:17,240 doing speed, and really, really just falling into that lifestyle. It was a 339 01:40:17,240 --> 01:40:20,780 whole other lifestyle. I was never used to that kind of lifestyle. 340 01:40:52,320 --> 01:40:53,980 Let's see if those numbers are still correct. 341 01:41:12,380 --> 01:41:15,020 Who the fuck is this? 342 01:41:17,280 --> 01:41:18,340 Who else is in here? 343 01:41:18,700 --> 01:41:20,520 Yeah? Are you still alive? 344 01:41:22,050 --> 01:41:23,210 Yeah, I guess. 345 01:41:23,690 --> 01:41:25,710 I'm sending a reporter over to come see you. 346 01:41:25,970 --> 01:41:26,970 A reporter? 347 01:41:27,210 --> 01:41:29,290 Yeah, we want to do a story about you. 348 01:41:29,690 --> 01:41:30,690 About me? 349 01:41:30,870 --> 01:41:32,450 Let's see if your cock's still crooked. 350 01:41:32,810 --> 01:41:33,970 Of course it is. 351 01:41:34,190 --> 01:41:38,230 How dare you insult me like that? Well, she's going to come and find out. She? 352 01:41:38,510 --> 01:41:41,710 Ooh. All right, I'll be ready. I'll be ready. 353 01:41:42,490 --> 01:41:43,690 All right, bye -bye. 354 01:41:44,630 --> 01:41:45,870 Oh, fuck. 355 01:41:57,000 --> 01:41:58,980 Got a special summon for you. Okay. 356 01:41:59,280 --> 01:42:01,100 You need to go out and find the great Ralph Zini. 357 01:42:01,680 --> 01:42:02,900 The great Ralph Zini? 358 01:42:03,160 --> 01:42:04,660 I know he's been retired for a few years. 359 01:42:04,920 --> 01:42:06,980 We need to see if he's still got what it takes. 360 01:42:07,580 --> 01:42:09,700 So we need to see if he still goes to measure up. 361 01:42:10,440 --> 01:42:11,900 Okay. So take this. 362 01:42:12,440 --> 01:42:13,440 Go out and find him. 363 01:42:14,420 --> 01:42:15,480 Get back to me and let me know. 364 01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:17,020 Okay. We'll do. 365 01:42:17,240 --> 01:42:18,039 Thank you. 366 01:42:18,040 --> 01:42:19,040 You're welcome. 367 01:42:35,950 --> 01:42:36,688 You the reporter? 368 01:42:36,690 --> 01:42:37,830 Yes, I'm the reporter. 369 01:42:38,250 --> 01:42:40,450 Oh, yeah, your boss did call. Come on in. 370 01:42:42,750 --> 01:42:43,770 Have a seat. 371 01:42:49,730 --> 01:42:51,230 Have a seat, have a seat. 372 01:42:52,750 --> 01:42:54,950 Oh, God. 373 01:42:55,890 --> 01:42:58,790 So, what do you need to know? 374 01:43:00,410 --> 01:43:03,830 Basically, we wanted to see if you still had it or not. 375 01:43:04,290 --> 01:43:05,290 Had it or not? 376 01:43:05,870 --> 01:43:08,770 Just because I've been out of the abyss for a couple years doesn't mean I still 377 01:43:08,770 --> 01:43:10,110 don't have it. What the fuck? 378 01:43:10,770 --> 01:43:12,550 How dare you insult me like that? 379 01:43:13,130 --> 01:43:18,190 So, we have to measure it to see if the magic from Phoenix still has it or not. 380 01:43:18,550 --> 01:43:19,550 Oh. 381 01:43:20,050 --> 01:43:21,350 So, yeah. All right. 382 01:43:21,830 --> 01:43:23,850 Well, if you need to measure it, I need a little help. 383 01:43:24,730 --> 01:43:26,590 Because you've got to get the full potential, right? 384 01:43:27,410 --> 01:43:28,710 Yeah, the full potential. 385 01:43:29,070 --> 01:43:30,570 Let me see your hand for a second. 386 01:43:34,720 --> 01:43:35,720 There you go. 387 01:43:36,300 --> 01:43:37,360 There you go. 388 01:43:37,600 --> 01:43:40,680 Oh, wow. I think maybe you do have an extra hour. 389 01:43:41,420 --> 01:43:42,960 Get an accurate reading, yeah. 390 01:44:17,340 --> 01:44:18,340 There you go. 391 01:44:29,000 --> 01:44:30,560 That's good reporting right there. 392 01:45:02,220 --> 01:45:04,540 Let me stand up for you, baby. Stand right there. 393 01:45:12,040 --> 01:45:12,480 Want 394 01:45:12,480 --> 01:45:21,160 to 395 01:45:21,160 --> 01:45:22,160 see your eyes, baby? 396 01:45:25,400 --> 01:45:26,400 Whoa, man. 397 01:45:54,760 --> 01:45:56,320 Don't forget about the balls, baby. 398 01:45:57,160 --> 01:45:58,160 Yeah. 399 01:46:36,040 --> 01:46:40,180 Fuck you Oh, 400 01:46:40,400 --> 01:47:04,260 you're 401 01:47:04,260 --> 01:47:05,260 not wearing any panties 402 01:48:00,120 --> 01:48:02,220 We're ready for the great Tulini. 403 01:49:01,130 --> 01:49:02,350 Yeah, that was easy. 404 01:49:03,410 --> 01:49:05,710 Yeah, you just forgot it. 405 01:49:38,519 --> 01:49:39,960 Shit. Fuck you. 406 01:57:26,190 --> 01:57:28,210 You want to really get that accurate measurement, don't you? 407 01:59:32,490 --> 01:59:34,850 Right there, the gravy bean's gonna clean it up, you're fucked up. 408 01:59:40,430 --> 01:59:43,230 Get your tape measure and you get accurate readings, baby. 409 01:59:44,210 --> 01:59:51,170 Here you go, 410 01:59:51,230 --> 01:59:53,350 baby. Here's your fucking thing. 411 01:59:53,610 --> 01:59:54,930 Get accurate readings. 412 01:59:57,010 --> 02:00:00,810 It was a whole eight inches. 413 02:00:01,170 --> 02:00:02,159 There we go. 414 02:00:02,160 --> 02:00:03,160 He's back, baby. 415 02:00:03,340 --> 02:00:04,340 He's back. 416 02:00:06,520 --> 02:00:08,100 Finally, it was about time. 417 02:00:08,400 --> 02:00:10,780 You're the best reporter ever. You're going to get a pay raise for this. 418 02:00:13,740 --> 02:00:14,820 But you know what? 419 02:00:19,740 --> 02:00:26,540 Funny to me, I want to kind of get out of there and get some more of that 420 02:00:26,540 --> 02:00:29,040 motherfucking 25th century pussy. 421 02:00:44,230 --> 02:00:48,510 You know what? This fucking shit is over. 422 02:00:48,790 --> 02:00:54,910 I fucking had it with you fucking reporters and you fucking assholes. I 423 02:00:54,910 --> 02:00:57,350 fucking have to be put through the kind of abuse. 424 02:00:57,820 --> 02:01:02,340 That I've been fucking put for. You want to fuck with me. You want to interview 425 02:01:02,340 --> 02:01:03,940 me. You can fuck yourself. 426 02:01:04,300 --> 02:01:05,980 Because I'm going back up baby. 427 02:01:06,240 --> 02:01:07,780 I'm going back up. 428 02:01:08,000 --> 02:01:11,920 And I'm doing it with a big old motherfucking puff of smoke. 28892

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