All language subtitles for Metalocalypse - S03E04 - Dethmas_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

AND THIS WEEK'S HALL OF SHAME AWARD GOES TO DR. ROCKSO,

THE ROCK AND ROLL CLOWN, ARRESTED AGAIN.

THIS TIME FOR ROBBING THE HOME OFFICES OF HOLIDAY

HOMELESS SHELTERS.

ROCKZO WAS APPREHENDED WITH $80 THAT HE INTENDED TO USE TO

PURCHASE, YOU GUESSED IT, COCAINE.

NICE ONE, ROCKZO.

HEY TOKI, LOOKS LIKE YOUR FRIEND IS REALLY FUCKING UP

AGAIN. HE'S NOT MY FRIEND.

I'VE SWORN HIM OFF.

YOU ALWAYS HELP OUT THAT DUMB CLOWN.

BUT NOT'S NO MORE.

I REALIZE DATS HELPINS HIM IS WHAT SHOW MY WEAKNESS.

DATS WHY I'M TAKINGS ALSINONS MEETINS.

ALANON?

OH WAIT, IS THAT LIKE NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS?

NOPES IT'S LIKES A THINGS WHERE YOUS LEARNS NOTS TO

HELPS OUT DUMB SELFISH ASSHOLES CLOWNS WHO AMS TRIES

TO TAKES ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

WELL THERE YOU GO.

MAIL TIME!

OH FUCK WE GOT A DVD FROM OUR FUCKING MOMS AGAIN.

FUCK.

I HATE THAT THEY HAVE IMOVIE.

HEY HONEY, WE ALL JUST WANTED TO SAY WE MISS YOU.

NONE OF YOU CALL ANY OF US.

AND IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME.

WHAT IF WE DIED?

YEAH!

WHAT IF WE FUCKING DIED?

THEN HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

YAH, HOWS WOULD YOUS FELT IF WE'S DIES?

OHHHHH.

OH, MAMA.

GEEZ SKWISGAAR, YOUR MOM REALLY KNOWS HOW TO PUT ON

THE CHRISTMAS CHEER.

HE HE HE.

ANYWAY, CALL US.

BYE!

OH AND WE'LL BE THERE FOR CHRISTMAS!

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOCK! DETHKLOK! ♪ I DON'T LIKE THAT OUR MOTHERS

HANG OUT WITHOUT US THERE.

HUH HUH.

I DON'T LIKES DAT NEITHER.

IT FEELS LIKE SOME KIND OF A FUCKING THREAT, THEM LIKE

GANGING UP ON US AND SHIT.

IT'S FUCKING BRUTAL.

THEY AMS TRYING TO RUINS OUR CHRISTMAS!

WHAT IS THERE TO RUIN?

FUCK CHRISTMAS.

I PROPOSE WE DOES SECRETS SANTAS.

[ GRUNTS ] ANYWAY, YEAH, SKWISGAAR,

I GOTTA SAY, YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM LOOKS UH REALLY GOOD

FOR HER AGE. OK, FUCKS OFF.

I'M JUST SAYING.

THANKS MURDERFACE, YAH.

WHY IS MY MOM WEARINGS THATS?

WHAT IS SHES A FUCKING STRIPPERS?

HOW DARE YOU! THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND SHIT.

THAT STUFF SHE'S WEARING IS CLASSY.

YOU'RE JUST, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU.

UH MURDERFACE?

YOU WANTED ME TO REMIND YOU ABOUT YOUR CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

MEETING WITH DICK KNUBBLER?

WAIT A MINUTE? CHRISTMAS SPECIAL?

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

I TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

I TRIED TO INVOLVE YOU.

YOU PASSED.

ANOTHER HALF BAKED MURDERFACE PROJECT.

PROBABLY WON'T GET PAST THE FRONT DOOR.

RUN BY MURDERFACE, A FAILURE WITH A BAD TRACK RECORD.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GUYS CAN'T BE A PART OF MY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL HA HA!

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE YOU ALL LACK SOMETHING VERY VERY IMPORTANT.

AND I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

ACTUALLY THAT'S KIND OF BADASS.

FUCKING CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

LIKE A FUCKING GHOST WHO KILLS CHILDREN.

HEY!!

THAT'S PERFECT FOR MY SPECIAL.

CAN I USE THAT?

NO!

OH COME ON!

NO.

IF YOU USE IT I KILL YOU.

UHH, MURDERFACE, YOU UHH STILL HAVE THIS MEETING, NOW.

STILL.

NOW.

STILL.

NOW.

THESE CHRISTMAS SPECIALS CAN BE INCREDIBLY LUCRATIVE.

I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH DETHKLOK FOR YEARS

BUT NO DICE.

WELL, HEY.

YOU KNOW, WE TRIED.

AND WE MIGHT NOT HAVE DETHKLOK BUT WE GOT SOMEONE

WHO'S PRACTICALLY IN DETHKLOK.

YOU.

I AM IN DETHKLOK.

HEY, C'MON.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I'M A FUCKING STAR!

YES YOU ARE! THERE'S THE ATTITUDE.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

NOW LISTEN...

AND WAIT TILL YOU HEAR MY IDEAS FOR THIS THING!!!

NO.

I'M TELLING YOU WILLIAM THIS IS GONNA HAVE TO COME FROM ME.

YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BE INVOLVED CREATIVELY.

IT'S A NO GO.

OKAY, BABE?

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, OKAY, HERE'S A BRIEF LIST OF, YOU KNOW, FAILURES

TO START OUT WITH.

OH MY FAILURES.

ALRIGHT, LET'S START OUT WITH THIS ONE.

NUMBER ONE: MURDERFACE'S TITTY TIME CAR WASH.

I STAND BY THAT IDEA.

HOT CHICKS WASH YOUR CAR.

MADE ZERO MONEY AND A SERIES OF LAW SUITS.

I NEVER TOUCHED THOSE FUCKING GIRLS!

NO THE LAWSUITS WEREN'T AGAINST THE GIRLS

THEY WERE FROM THE DRIVERS FOR VEHICLE DAMAGE.

ALRIGHT NUMBER TWO -- HOW ABOUT THE MURDERFACE

PLANET PISS COLOGNE? WHAT ABOUT IT?

HUGE FAILURE!

THE FDA FOUND TRACES OF URINE IN EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE AND PEOPLE

BROKE OUT INTO PAINFUL, IRREVERSIBLE SKIN-DAMAGING

RASHES. THAT'S THE POINT!!!

MY PISS IS IN EVERY BOTTLE!

WHAT DON'T YOU GET?

AND FINALLY WE GOT THE WILLIAM MURDERFACE

HOME PYROTECHNICS KIT.

I STILL SAY THAT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT.

WELL THERE YOU GO. YOU GET THE IDEA.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL, CAPTAIN.

I RUN THE SHOW. I TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.

YOU SHOW UP.

YOU HIT YOUR MARK AND READ THE CUE CARDS

AND DO WHAT I SAY ORRRRR- NO DICE.

WHAT YOU MEAN WE CANTS DO SECRET SANTAS!

TOKI, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO GO OVER THIS?

WE DON'T THINKS IT AMS METALS TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHERS.

AND I FUCKINGS DO!

TOKI, WHY DON'T YOU DROP IT?

YOU'RE DRIVING US FUCKING CRAZY.

I AINTS LISTENS TO YOU NO MORE!

I AM GOING SHOPPINGS!

YES! SHOPPINS!

TO BUY EACH AND EVERY ONES OF YOUS A GIFTS!!

AND I WANTS TO SEES DE LOOKS ON ALL YOUR FAT FUCKING FACES WHENS

I GIVES YOU GREATS PRESENTS!

HA HA! FUCKS YOU!

I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE EVER BEEN SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT BEFORE.

LISTEN, FOR SOME REASON THE JUDGE HAS TAKEN PITY ON YOU.

I WOULDN'T HAVE.

BUT THEY'RE LETTING YOU OUT WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST.

WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT THAT? I'M K-K-K-SORRY.

DR. ROCKZO WANT OUTTA THIS PLACE.

DR. ROCKZO GONNA GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER.

DR. ROCKZO DON'T LIKE JOHNNY LAW LOOKING DOWN HIS NOSE

AT DR. ROCKZO.

IT'S K-K-K-HUMILIATING.

A K-K-K-COCAINE.

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.

AS YOUR PAROLE OFFICER, I'LL BE CHECKING IN ON YOU

REGULARLY ALRIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH! OH! NOTHING! NOTHING!

I'M LISTENING BABY, I'M JUST LISTENING TO YOU.

ARE YOU SNORTING MY COFFEE SWEETENER?

M-MAYBE.

SORRY, GO ON.

STOP LOOKING AT ME.

KEEP TALKING.

IS THERE ANYBODY YOU CAN CALL TO HELP YOU OUT?

I TRIED TO CALL MY FRIEND T-T-TOKI, BUT HE WOULDN'T

ANSWER HIS C-C-C-CALLS.

I'LL TRY. I'LL TRY AGAIN.

ALRIGHT, THEN FIRST AND FOREMOST YOU'RE GOING TO

HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON GETTING A JOB.

ANYTHING, MAN.

I'LL DO ANYTHING.

I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS JAIL.

K-K-K-- THE WORLD IS SO DIFFERENT SINCE DR. ROCKSO

BEEN IN THE LOCK UP.

OH K-K-K-LOOK AT ALL OF THESE PLASTIC PEOPLE.

K-K-OH WHAT IS THIS?

C-C-CHRISTMAS TIME HELP NEEDED?

HMMMM.

FUCKINGS TOKI.

CHRISTMAS TREES.

DIS AMMENT BRUTAL.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S GROWING ON ME.

IT'S LIKE HAVING A ROTTING CORPSE IN YOUR HOUSE BUT

THE CORPSE OF A TREE YOU KNOW?

IT'S KINDA BADASS.

AND IT'S LIKE DEAD AND THEN TO HUMILIATE IT EVEN

FURTHER BY HANGING ORNAMENTS ALL OVER IT LIKE FUCK YOU.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT IT'S MAKES SENSE.

BUT STILL, IT STILL SUCKS, YOU KNOW?

SHALL I BURN IT MY LORDS?

NO. LEAVE IT.

JUST THROW SOME ROTTING MEAT ON IT AND POUR SOME PIG'S

BLOOD ON IT WHATEVER YOU KNOW.

IT'LL BE BEARABLE I GUESS.

PHONE'S RINGING.

IT'S MINE. THAT'S ME.

UGH. IT'S MY MOM AGAIN.

I'LL LET IT GO TO VOICE MAIL.

UGH, WHEN IS SHE GONNA GET IT?

I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS.

OH THAT'S ME.

HA, YOUR MOM CALLING ME.

I DON'T LIKE THAT SHE HAS YOUR NUMBER.

OH, THAT'S ME.

PICKLE, YOUR MOM AMS CALLINGS ME NOW.

WHY DOES SHE HAVE YOUR NUMBER?

I DON'T KNOW.

UH, SKWISGAAR YOUR MOM IS CALLING ME.

I THINK OUR MOTHERS ARE TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH US.

CAN YOU TAKE THESE PHONES AND GET US NEW NUMBERS?

HOLDS DIS BAGS AT ONCE.

YES, MY LORD.

I SHOULD LIKES TO HAVES A PRIVATE AUDIENCE

WITH SANTA CLAUSE FORS A BRIEF MOMENTS.

AND I WOULD LIKES YOU TO NOTS REPEATS WHATS YOU SEES

TO ANYBODYS OR I WILL HAVES YOU ALLS KILLED.

OF COURSE, SIRE.

YEAH, OF COURSE.

OKAY, MURDERFACE.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A CONFERENCE CALL, ALRIGHT?

YEP.

THAT MEANS A CALL WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE ON IT OKAY?

YEAH, YEAH I KNOW.

OKAY.

UH, AND THESE ARE THE, UH, CHRISTMAS SPECIAL PRODUCERS,

ALRIGHT? AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

WE GOTTA WOW 'EM.

SPLATTER THEIR FUCKING FACES WITH ZAZZ.

NO! NO, NO, NO NO.

MURDERFACE, IT MEANS YOU SAY "HELLO"

AND BE NICE, AND THAT'S ALL.

AND I DO THE TALKING, ALRIGHT?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

SHOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND ME.

I THINK YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS CONTROL ISSUES.

I'M ASKING IF YOU UNDERSTAND ME.

FINE! JEEZ.

GAH, I UNDERSTAND.

SHAKE IT OUT.

DO WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY HANDS.

SHAKE IT OUT.

DO IT. DO IT!

I'M SHAKING.

LISTEN JIM, MARTY.

I MEAN THIS THING'S IN THE BAG.

A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS SPECIAL.

OLD SCHOOL.

DANCERS. EXCITEMENT.

FANTASTIC MUSICAL BITS.

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!

OH, WE LOVE IT DICK!

THAT'S CAUSE IT'S IN THE BAG BABY.

IT'S IN THE BAG.

HEY OUR ONLY PROBLEM IS THE GUY- UH MUMBLEFACE.

IS THAT HIS NAME?

UHH, ACTUALLY IT'S MURDER- SHHHH!!!!

YOU MEAN OUR SUPER STAR?

WILLY? WILLY MURDERFACE.

AW YEAH, HE'S GREAT.

HE'S WONDERFUL.

OH, I GUESS WE MEAN, IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE

WE CAN GET? LIKE A REAL NAME?

YOU KNOW LIKE, ANYBODY?

WELL, LET ME, LET ME JUST SAY THIS.

SURE MURDERFACE MAY NOT BE THE BIGGEST DETHKLOK MEMBER

BUT YOU GOTTA REALIZE HOW FAR THIS DETHKLOK THING GO --

NO, NO, WAIT LOOK, WE GET THE DETHKLOK THING

IT'S JUST MURDERFACE.

YEAH, IT'S THE MURDERFACE THING.

IT'S JUST...

UHHH EXCUSE ME?

MARTY? JIM?

THIS IS WILLIAM MURDERFACE.

I'M ON THIS CALL TOO.

HA HA. I CAN HEAR YOU.

I DON'T, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REALIZE THAT.

THEN YOU UNDERSTAND OUR DILEMMA, YOU KNOW?

A LOT OF PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANNA SEE YOU HOST THIS THING.

AND IT'S NOT YOU.

IT'S A Q. RATINGS THING.

IT'S LOW Q RATINGS OKAY?

HEY, GUYS, CAN I JUMP IN REAL QUICK HERE?

MAYBE THIS IS A CONVERSATION FOR A LATER TIME.

WE ALL SLEEP ON IT.

THINK ABOUT SOME STUFF AND UH TALK TOMORROW,

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

FINE. FINE. FINE.

IN THE MEANTIME I'D LIKE TO SELL YOU ON ME.

I HAVE THIS IDEA -- IT'S CALLED THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT,

AND IT'S THIS FUCKING GHOST THAT KILLS CHILDREN.

AND IT FIGHTS NAZIS.

IT'S LIKE THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION WITH A BIG OLE

HARD ON.

AND IT JUST SWOOPS IN ON BLACK WINGS.

JUST SLEEP ON THAT.

SEE YOU LATER, JIM.

BYE, MARTY!

CLICK! HA HA HA!

NAILED IT.

YOU SIR?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK TO SANTA CLAUS?

YES MAMS I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO SANTA CLAUS ABOUT

MY POTENTIAL CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

K-K-K-K-HO HO WHO WANTS- TO K-K-K-TOKI!

OH DR. ROCKSO, YOUS AMS SANTA CLAUS!

IT DONTS MAKES SENSE.

EVERYONE'S READY TO GO?

NO TOKI STILL?

NO, HE'S POUT-SHOPPING FOR US.

RIGHT. THEN I'LL START.

JUST WANNA KEEP YOU ABREAST OF WHAT'S GOING ON.

FIRST OFF.

WHAT A KICK ASS FOURTH QUARTER.

GOOD WORK GUYS. BORING.

DON'T SAY KICK-ASS.

JUST DON'T.

WE HADS TO MEETS FOR DIS?

RIGHT, SO WHEN YOU'RE MAKING MONEY YOU DON'T CARE.

YEAH. BOY IS THAT RIGHT.

WHATS DID I MISS?

TOKI, WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE PISS AND COCAINE??

OH, DATS NOT ME.

K-K-K-M-M-M-HANUKAH!

A K-K-K-K-HELLO!

MASTER, THERE APPEARS TO BE A POTENTIAL INCIDENT IN FRONT

OF MORDHAUS.

HI, NATHAN! WE'RE HERE!

OH NO.

Nathan: ALRIGHT GUYS, LOOKS LOOKS LIKE OUR MOM'S ARE GONNA

BE STICKING AROUND HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

BUT WE ALL HAVE TO AGREE ON ONE THING --

THEY CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING BOOZE AS LONG AS THEY'RE HERE.

BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME.

RIGHT, MURDERFACE?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

[ GROANING ] SKWISGAAR, MURDERFACE IS

OGLING YOUR MOTHER LIKE SOME KIND OF A PIECE OF FUCKING MEAT.

YEAH, I'M NOTICING DIS.

THAT'S WHY I'M DRUNK RIGHT NOW.

UH, TOKI?

WHERE'S DR. ROCKZO?

HE AMS IN MY BATHROOMS.

HE'S NEEDS A SHOWER.

DR. ROCKZO?

OH, DR. ROCKZO NOT FEELING SO GOOD.

OHHH, GIVE ME SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT IN HERE.

FOR THE RECORDS, DR. ROCKSO, I CAN'T GETS YOU DRUGS.

THATS WOULD BE ENABLINGS YOU.

BUT I LOVES YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU AMS POWERLESS.

OH, R-R-ROCKSO L-L-LOVES YOU TOO BABY.

NOW YOU GET ME THOSE FUCKING DRUGS OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!

YOU HEAR ME?

AH FUCK!

OUR FUCKING MOTHERS WANT US TO TAKE THEM TO THE MALL.

IT'S THE FUCKING WORST TIME TO GO.

FUCKING BRUTAL.

MOM, WHY DO YOU NEED US TO DRIVE?

BECAUSE WE WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU!

NOT YOUR SERVANTS.

BUT ALL THEY'RE GONNA DO IS DRIVE!

THAT'S ALL. THEY'RE GONNA DRIVE.

YOU CAN DRIVE!

FAMILY ONLY!

OH, GRANDMA!

I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE A MEETING FOR MY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT WILLIAM!

IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT.

HEY, WE GOT AN IMPORTANT PRODUCTION MEETING...

OW! OW! OW!

DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME YOU FUCKING LITTLE PIECE

OF SHIT. GRANDMA, NO! STOP!

YOU JUST MISSED ANOTHER SPOT.

HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THAT SPOT?

WHERE? WHICH ONE? BACK THERE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!

I CAN'T SEE WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE IN HERE!!

TOO LATE! YOU BLEW IT!

OH GRANDMA, HE'S JUST TRYING TO DRIVE.

LEAVE HIM ALONE AND BACK OFF!

WE DON'T SPEAK TO OUR GRANDMOTHERS THAT WAY.

TAKE THIS.

OWWW!!!

MOM! DON'T SLAP MURDERFACE! OWWW!!!

QUICK! TURN!

WHAT THE HELL! YOU HIT MY CAR!

HEY, I HAVE FOUR MOTHERS TELLING ME HOW TO DRIVE.

WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE, ASSHOLE?

TELL THEM YOU'RE SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

ARE YOU LEAVING?

YOU KNOW SOMETHING ANJA?

NOW THAT YOU'RE SINGLE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

FIND YOUR SEXY SIDE?

OHH, LET'S DO A FUCKING MAKEOVER AND MAKE ANJA A LITTLE

SEXY KITTY CAT!

[GIGGLING] [ GROWLS ]

I DO NOT LIKE THIS.

I'M NOT HERE. I'M SOMEPLACE ELSE.

I'M ON A LAKE IN A CANOE.

SOME PLACE ELSE.

WAIT A MINUTE, I JUST FUCKING THOUGHT OF SOMETHING.

WHAT'D YOU DO WITH ROCKZO WHILE WE'RE OUT?

THEY GOTTA BE SOMETHING I CAN PUT UP MY NOSE.

OH, K-K-DAMMIT!!!

THEY GOTTA BE SOMETHING DR. ROCKZO CAN SELL

FOR SOME SWEET COCAINE.

I NEED THAT -- OH!

CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR TOKI'S PALS.

A K-K-K-BINGO.

WILLY, YOU GOT TIME FOR A QUICK CONFERENCE CALL?

I GOT THESE GUYS ON HOLD. HELLOOO.

HELLO! HOW WE ALL DOING?

LOOK JIM, MARTY, YOU SAID YOU HAD SOME GOOD NEWS?

UH, ACTUALLY WE DO.

WE FOUND FINANCING.

YEAH, UH, BUT MURDERFACE, WE'RE ANTICIPATING,

UH, REJECTION. FROM YOU.

YOU MIGHT PASS ON THIS.

WE JUST WANT TO LAY OUT THE GROUND RULES.

WHAT? HOLD ON.

LOOK I JUST WANNA MAKE A FUCKING HOLIDAY SPECIAL

THAT'S TOTALLY FUCKING METAL AND EVIL WITH BLOOD AND TITS

AND FIRE.

LISTEN, YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW EVERYBODY DECLINED

YOUR OFFER, OKAY?

EXCEPT FOR ONE GROUP THAT FOUND YOUR NEGATIVITY AND DELINQUENT

FOLLOWING A POSITIVE OPPORTUNITY TO GET THEIR MESSAGE OUT THERE

AND HELP YOU AND THOSE PEOPLE.

NEGATIVITY? MARTY HELP ME OUT HERE.

IT'S THE CHURCH.

THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH WANTS TO FINANCE IT.

AND CONTROL EVERYTHING.

BUT YOU'RE STILL THE STAR AND IT'S THE, UH,

MURDERFACE KNUBBLER SPECIAL DON'T GET ME WRONG THERE.

IT'S STILL THE SAME THING.

IT'S STILL YOUR SPECIAL.

UHH, I MEAN, IS THERE KIND OF AN ISSUE?

I MEAN AM I GONNA BE CONSIDERED A SELL-OUT?

IS THAT A PROBLEM?

I MEAN, I'M GOOD WITH IT.

I'M GOOD WITH IT TOO THEN. THERE! WE'RE DONE!

CONGRATULATIONS GUYS!

K-K-K-- HEY MAN.

HOW MUCH DR. ROCKSO GET FOR THIS SLOP?

HMM? HURRY UP BABY.

I GOT SOMETHING TO DO.

GUESS WHAT?

COCAINE.

[ SNIFFS ] YOUUU HOOOOO!

YOU KNOW WHAT I DO, BABY!

AND I'M DOING IT.

SNORTING COCAINE.

HEY JOHNNY HOT DOG, GUESS WHAT I JUST DID.

COCAINE!

HE DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER.

HEY SHOE SHINE BOY?

YOU WANNA CHECK ME OUT THERE SOME OF THIS HERE, COCAINE!

HEY MR. ZOO ANIMAL, CHECK THIS OUT --

COCAINE!

HEY LITTLE BOY WITH THE B-B-B-BALLOON.

CHECK THIS OUT -- COCAINE.

DON'T TELL NO BODY.

HEY MR. POLICE...

UH OH!

NOW BOYS I'M PLEASED AS PIE THAT WE ARE DOING THIS

TOGETHER HERE.

OH FUCKING SHIT MAN, I MEAN, I'M....

HA, HA, HA, UH, HA!

I'M SORRY REVEREND, HE'S..

LIKE HE HASN'T HEARD SOMEONE SAY FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK BEFORE?

YOU GOT BOOZE ALL OVER YOUR BREATH.

SORRY ABOUT MURDERFACE.

BOY IS HE....

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS FOR ME...

WELL I UNDERSTAND WE ALL GOT OUR PERSONAL QUIRKS.

WE JUST WANT TO KEEP THIS THING CLEAN AND GET THE MESSAGE

OF GOD OUT TO YOUR AUDIENCE.

NO VIOLENCE, NO NUDITY OR PROFANE LANGUAGE ON THE AIR.

AND I GOT TO BE FIRM ON THAT.

OH ABSOLUTELY.

YOU KNOW FATHER, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT

RELIGION IS SUCH A WONDEROUS AND MAGNIFICENT SORT OF THINGY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY?

WELL I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY, MURDERFACE, BECAUSE

IF YOU LIE TO ME, I PROMISE THAT GOD WILL

COME DOWN FROM HEAVEN AND CRUSH YOUR SOUL AND TAKE AWAY THOSE

THAT YOU LOVE.

EWW.

HEY Y'ALL THINK YOU CAN TRY ONE MORE TIME TO GET DETHKLOK

INVOLVED IN THIS THING?

I MEAN WE GOT FINANCING.

WE GOT FINANCING!

WE GOT SOME MONEY HERE.

WE DID IT!

YOU REALLY SOLD IT HUH?

YUP. REAL DEAL.

DID HE REALLY SELL IT, KNUBBLER?

YES. I'M IMPRESSED ACTUALLY.

YOU GUYS REALLY DID IT, HUH?

YEAH, YOU WANT IN?

IT'LL GET US AWAY FROM OUR MOMS?

CHECK THIS OUT!

I'M GOING TO PUT OUR STUPID, STUPID MOTHERS IN THE SHOW

SO THEY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE INVOLVED IN OUR DUMB LIVES BUT

ACTUALLY IT WILL KEEP THEM AWAY FROM US MORE.

OH! OH!

COULD WE HAVE SECRETS SANTAS?

[ STAMMERING ] YES, YES TOKI.

YOU WANT A SECRET SANTA? YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT!

OH, WOWEE! SECRET SANTAS!

YEAH!

YEAH THAT'S ALL GREAT.

BUT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO DO ONE LITTLE THING FOR ME.

YEAH? WHAT'S THAT?

TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY.

APOLOGIZE FOR DOUBTING ME.

THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

I SAW THE LOOK ON YOUR FACES.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

NOW LET'S GET TO WORK!

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]

K-K-K-HERE I AM!

ALRIGHT GUYS. THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!

WE'VE PUT SO MUCH WORK IN THIS SO UH..

LET'S GET READY TO UH, DO A GREAT SHOW!

OK FIRST OFF, WE GOT TO KEEP THE BOOZE AWAY FROM YOUR

MOTHERS. THEY GET ALL WEIRD AND FUCKING HORNY.

DON'T WANT THAT, OKAY?

SECONDLY, WE GOTTA KICK THIS FUCKING CLOWN OFF

THE SET ALRIGHT?

YEAH FUCK THAT GUY.

I DON'T WANT THAT GUY HERE FUCKING THE SHIT UP, OKAY?

THIRDLY, TOKI YOU GOTTA GET THOSE GIFTS BECAUSE WE ARE

DOING THE SECRET SANTA THING.

OH, COOLS!

AND WISH US LUCK.

ME AND MURDERFACE GO OUT SOON, OKAY!

LIVE FROM MORDHAUS!

IT'S THE WILLIAM MURDERFACE DICK KNUBBLER CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

WITH SPECIAL GUEST DETHKLOK!

WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

WERE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN.

IT'S A WINTER MAGIC TIME.

BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER!

WE'RE GIVING SOME GIFTS!

WE'RE STANDING SOME SNOW!

IT'S GONNA BE A HOLIDAY TIME.

WOW, THEY LOOK LIKE A COUPLE OF FAGS.

THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA.

RIGHT.

WHERE'S THE BLOOD AND TITS THAT MURDERFACE WAS TALKING ABOUT?

SOMETHING WEIRD'S GOING ON HERE GUYS.

I BRING SOME WONDERFUL FRANKENSENSE.

GREAT. THAT'S WHAT I GOT HIM!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT.

WE BOTH GOT HIM THE SAME THING.

OH, LORD.

HEY, THAT'S BLASPHEMY!

[ LAUGHTER ] NO, I MEAN OH LORD.

RIGHT THERE!!!

A MIRACLE HAS BEEN BESTOWED UPON US THIS DAY.

[ AWWWWWWS ] [ FART ]

I THINK HE MIGHT'VE BESTOWED SOMETHING INTO HIS DIAPERS.

[ LAUGHTER ] THE KING HAS TRULY BLESSED US.

[ AWWWWWWW ] [ FART ]

MAYBE HE CAN STOP BLESSING US.

SOMETHING'S STARTING TO SMELL BAD.

HELLO!

[ SNIFFING ] THERE'S BOOZE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

[ SNIFFS ] THEY LOCKED THE BOOZE IN HERE!

SOMEBODY GET ME A CROWBAR!

LET'S GET DRUNKS!

LET'S GET DRUNKS!

LET'S GET DRUNK!

SIRE, I WAS TOLD THAT THE "SECRET SANTA" SKETCH IS

NEXT SO YOU MUST GATHER YOUR GIFTS.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH THANKS YOU.

NOW BE GONES.

MY GIFTS! MY GIFTS!

THEY'S AMS GONE!

BALLOONS?

WHO WOULD LEAVES A BALLONS ONS DE GROUNDS AND STEALS

ALLS MY GIFTS?!

ROCKZO!

LEMME IN THERE, BABY.

DR. ROCKZO WANNA SEE THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE CLOWN!

WELL, CHECK THIS OUT.

[ TAUNTING ] COCAINE!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO THE MURDERFACE KNUBBLER

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL STARRING DETHKLOK

RIGHT AFTER THESE IMPORTANT WORDS FROM OUR SPONSOR.

I WASN'T PICKED FOR THE TEAM.

THAT'S ALRIGHT, SON.

GOD LOVES YOU.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CHURCH OF CHRISTIAN CHURCHOLOGY.

WAIT A MINUTE?

THIS THING'S SPONSORED...

CHURCH OF CHRISTIAN CHURCHOLOGY?

THE FUCKING CHURCH?

THIS THING'S SPONSORED BY THE...

THIS THING'S SPONSORED BY THE FUCKING CHURCH?

MURDERFACE!!!!!!!

LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER WONDERFUL BUT LONELY CHRISTMAS EVE

WITH JUST YOU AND ME RIGHT, OLD PAL.

YUP.

LOOKS JUST LIKE THE TWO OF US AGAIN.

[ DOOR BELL RINGS ] YOU KNOW WHAT THAT

SOUND MEANS?

OH THE CHRISTMAS GOOSE IS FINISHED BEING MICROWAVED?

[ LAUGHTER ] NO.

IT MEANS WE HAVE SOME GUESTS.

WELL HELLO!

IT'S DETHKLOK'S MOTHERS!

AND THEY'VE BEEN DRINKING.

YEAH, TAKE YOUR TIME STAGGERING IN.

THIS ISN'T LIVE TV OR ANYTHING.

WHO'D HAVE THOUGH DETHKLOK WOULD HAVE MOTHERS??

HA. HA.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ] I'LL GET IT!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF ITS MORE FRIENDLY GUESTS??

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS THING WAS SPONSORED BY RELIGION?

IT'S NOT FUCKING COOL, DUDE.

[ LAUGHS ] HEY, WATCH THE F-BOMB.

THIS IS, UH, THIS IS WRITTEN.

THIS IS WRITTEN [ DOORBELL RINGS ]

K-K-K-ROCKZO MADE HIS WAY ONTO THE LOT OF THE CHRISTMAS

PARTY, BABY.

OH YOU, ROCKZO! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!

YOU STOLE THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!

I'LL FUCKING KILLS YOU ROCKZO!

OUTTA MY WAY!

HERE COMES...

OW! OH, MY LEG!!

OW! TOKI'S LEG!

[ SCREAMING IN AGONY ] LOOK WE NEED A DOCTOR

OVER HERE!

MY HEAD!

GET A FUCKING DOCTOR OVER HERE!

MURDERFACE, I THINK YOUR GRANDMA'S, LIKE, HURT

OR SOMETHING.

YOU SHOULD HELP HER.

CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME ENJOY THIS MOMENT?

HEY CHECK IT OUT SKWISGAAR!

I'M GETTING A HAND J-J-JOB FROM YOUR M-M-MAMA!

MOMS, NO!!

OH MAN SHE'S GOT THAT SWEDISH GRIP.

OH ,IT'S LIKE YOU PLAYIN' THAT GUITAR.

OHHH FIDDLEY WIDDLEY WADDLEY HOOO!

WHAT THE FUCK!

THAT'S MY GIRL!

OH IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD CHRISTMAS?

YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER OR I'LL....

I'LL KILL YOU!

YOU RUINED MY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

SO UH, THANKS FOLKS FOR TUNING IN

AND UH, THANKS FOR WATCHING THE KNUBBLER MURDERFACE

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL.

ROLL THOSE CREDITS FOLKS.

HERE I K-K-K--OH!

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